❛ all i’ve ever wanted to be was useful ❜
"..Joshua..."
Oh, how clearly Elwin remembered when Joshua was but ten years old; so small, so frail, and so, so worried. He had never stopped to realize just how deep that fear had run -- how it had permeated into every facet of Joshua's life, shaking the very core of his self-worth and leaving him uncertain as to whether or not he himself mattered while the Phoenix's shadow loomed over him. Even on that night at Phoenix Gate, his father had not realized...
And he regretted it. He would regret it to his dying day, no doubt, that he had not better reassured Joshua, that he had not told his youngest son how important he was to him.
Not as the Dominant of Phoenix, not as the future Archduke of Rosaria, but as a beloved son.
Their relationship had never been quite as established as the one he shared with Clive, in large part because of the former Archduke's frequent absences from Rosalith. It seemed that every time he had returned home, Joshua had been so much older than the previous time he had seen him, and he had missed so many precious moments with the boy -- though he had always told himself that it couldn't be helped. (Was that true? Or was that just something Elwin had told himself to assuage his guilt and allow him to sleep better at night?)
Now, Joshua was no longer small enough that he needed to kneel down so as not to tower over him. He was grown, just as Clive was, and just as Jill was as well, and over these long years he could only imagine how many memories -- even bitter ones -- he had missed with them? It was as if nothing had changed. He had not been there for Joshua when Joshua perhaps needed him most.
Gloved hands reached out to gently rest upon the younger man's shoulders. Then with just as much gentleness, he gave them both a squeeze, and his troubled gaze sought out the other's eyes. "You are useful," Elwin reassured, tone warm yet hinting at sadness. After a moment's contemplation, he drew his son in for a hug -- one that he should have given him all those years ago. "Ever have you been useful. By the Founder, not because you were chosen by Phoenix... but because you are you. Because of your kind and noble heart. The care and compassion that you show to others, regardless of their birth."
He closed his eyes, brow furrowing as he sought the right words to say next to adequately convey his thoughts and feelings both. "...And you... you have always been useful to me. You and Clive are so important to me. You two were, are, always my inspiration, my heart, and I am ... I am proud of who you have become."
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Hardy Winds with: @dutyworn
Reading:
“ i’m not even sure what to say to that. ” / from wrens crossover verse!
❖
❝I can't blame you. Not many have the words to say to stuff like this.❞
Vasco's gaze flickered downwards to the water below. Despite the semi-murkiness that prevented one to see clearly through the water, it's still enough to tell that something is different about him. The way the scales - covered with dark blue and held onto lines of green - glittered under the sun as if there is a giant fish, though it is only a fish tail, belonging to him. His gaze sweeping over the details of his tail, studying it as if it's a brand new sight to behold and not one he has seen a thousand times within his entire lifetime. Then, he turned his attention back to the other.
The calm expression twisted into his face remained as such, despite him studying the woman before him. It's not every single day he came across another living soul, who he isn't trying to take into the waters with his voice. A living soul who seemed quite surprised to see him. Rather, his tail. Even then, she appeared almost interesting looking. The armor she wore didn't belong to anyone he came across. Not when he is swimming from one location to the next. Not when he found new areas to explore and cautiously cover. It seems out of place.
It only made him a bit more wary than curious.
❝And who might you be? Your armor......I've never seen it before.❞
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Primrose Everdeen
@hvbris
The doctors had given up trying to keep Katniss from her sister’s bedside. Each time they tried to peel her away, insisted that she too needed rest or treatment or food, Katniss would fly into a panic, into rage, the only emotions she seemed to have left these days.
She had nothing else left to give. When finally left alone in Prim’s room, she felt hollowed out. A shell of her former self, whoever that was. The only thing that kept such a tenuous memory tethered to her right now was the rise and fall of Prim’s chest, a reminder that she was still breathing. Still alive.
Just like Katniss, she had been burned, badly. The remainder of her pale blonde hair was tucked to one side of her neck, where Katniss silently brushed it every day. She hadn’t spoken since the Capitol fell. Since she woke up in the hospital, those last images of her sister caught in an explosion were burned into her, deeper than the real burns that now marred her back and her neck.
The moment replayed in her mind, over and over again. Like a segment on Caesar’s show. Katniss couldn’t even bring herself to talk to Prim, in case...
Instead, she just held her hand for as long as she could stay awake. She’d been asleep until she felt those fingers twitch, for the first time. Suddenly Katniss was alert, feeling the familiar panic rising in her chest again. She gripped her sister’s fingers with her own, heart hammering wildly as she watched the fluttering of eyelids.
Was she waking up? Was something happening?
Katniss had very little voice after letting it go dormant for so long, and the words cracked as they fell from her chapped lips.
“Prim! Prim, can you hear me?”
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{Starter from s.c. for: @strictlycanon}
❖
❝H-hey, Charles. I hate to bother you or interrupt you of anything, but,❞ Nova paused. Her hands to knot behind her back, forcing herself to not fiddle with them out of anxiety. She shall not show fear or anxiety around this place. Not with watchful eyes eager to tear her into two and most likely try to find a reason to turn her away. Or perhaps that's her mind wandering off places again.
❝I was wondering if you could teach me how to use a bow. I've been mainly using guns a lot. Oh! And knives too! I could never get it right with a bow for some reason.❞ It's not that she doesn't know how to use a bow, but she could never get the correct technique of firing an arrow with precise. It's probably how she stands.
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