#I have been trying so hard to eat healthier and be more physically active in a healthy non-ed way

[longlivetv]

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[prettieinpink]

 ♡ PRETTIER HIERARCHY ♡

HAPPY 1.2k+ TO PRETTIEINPINK! Thank you guys for the support, here’s a lil gift from me to you. 

If you don’t want to read all of this, I created a hierarchy of everything you need to do to glow up, right at the end!!! But I recommend reading everything first <3

I’ve been trying to ‘glow up’ like forever, but there was no actual content out there that helped me glow up. Most people sugarcoated, or their lifestyles of glowing up just weren't sustainable for me. So, I created this post for everyone planning to glow up or maximise their prettiness! 

DISCLAIMER – THIS POST IS NOT DETAILED. I wanted to do a simple outline to give you guys an idea of what to do to maximise your pretty. A little help to plan, especially as we enter 2024, but I’ll expand on these individual topics in the future. 

GRADE 1 – HEALTH

Being healthy can make you SO pretty. Being healthy is the foundation. There are other ways to be physically healthy, but after doing these 4 the rest usually fall in place.  Here are some simple ways to become healthier, and then eventually prettier!

HEALTHY EATING.

 I'm not going to go super deep into this, as no diet fits everyone + Please consult with your doctor before taking any extreme advice. Though, I'll tell you a bit of things that helped me !!

Stop drinking soda. Please, it's so unhealthy and it's full of so many sugars. Even the ones that are 0 cal, have weird chemicals that I don't trust. Many more alternatives taste just as good, like coconut water, herbal drinks, smoothies etc! Especially because nowadays most large calories and sugar intakes are from sugary drinks 

Stop restricting, moderate it. I am a big fan of dairy, yoghurt, milk, and cheese, I love it all. However I acknowledge that dairy isn’t the healthiest, so instead I always ensure I'm eating in moderation. E.g I put a tablespoon of shredded cheese in my omelettes instead of a handful. You will enjoy healthy eating so much, but only if you're not restricting. 

Have one serving of fruit, vegetables, or both with each meal. It provides so many good nutrients, makes you fuller and keeps you hydrated. Measure with your palm to ensure you’re eating enough. 

Know that just because one food has fewer calories than the other, does not mean it is the healthiest. I struggled so much with this, especially because many weight loss accounts will mention this, but it is so wrong. White bread has fewer calories than brown bread, but brown bread is higher in nutritional value. 

Plan snacks. Planning snacks for throughout the day, instead of spontaneously eating is so much better. I recommend this for anyone who gets hungry during the day but not enough for a meal (like me!)

Drink more water. Not 1L a day, because it is so much more ideal for you to have a glass of water with each meal + when you feel thirsty. 

Start educating yourself. This is as much as I can tell you, im not a nutritionist or a dietitian but if you plan to ensure that healthy eating becomes your lifestyle, educating yourself is essential!! 

EXERCISING.

Once again, I'm only going to go surface level with this because it is only based on my personal experience + Consult with your doctor before doing anything extreme. 

Start aiming for 5k+ steps. I see a lot of people advertise 10k+ steps as the standard, or what's active, but it's not sustainable If you're a busy person with a sedentary life or a beginner at exercise it is gonna be hard to sustain that. But walking is so good for you and simple too.

Join your local sports! Such a fun way to socialise while still exerting energy. 

If you can't do that for whatever reason, there are many ways to exercise at home. Research and pick a workout that you like and is sustainable. E.g. jump rope, pilates, home exercises, weightlifting, biking

Start standing more, it exerts energy. While very little, it still is very good. 

That's it, but remember to always start small with exercising, and RESEARCH!

BETTER SLEEP

To me, it doesn’t matter how much sleep a person is getting, but much more rather the quality of said sleep. So, here are some tricks and tips to get better at sleeping!!

Investing in a good quality pillow is so good for your sleep, the more comfortable you are, the better + it reduces the chances of poor posture or hump necks 

Research about different sleeping positions, as some positions at night promote back pain, difficulty breathing or poor posture. 

Start sleeping in complete darkness. Remove all sources of light or invest in good light-blocking curtains OR binders. Though, binders seem to be much more effective but are more pricey. If you cannot do either of that, buy a good sleeping mask. 

Sleep in the cold. Your body easily falls asleep if your environment is cold, and you’re less likely to wake up in the middle of the night. 

It is ideal for you to stop using devices an hour or two before bed, but if it is not sustainable for you, wear red blue-light-blocking glasses instead of clear ones. Red ones are more effective. 

Avoid large physical or mental tasks before bed, use that time to unwind and tell your body it's time to go to sleep. 

Avoid napping for longer than 30 minutes, or it can disrupt the sleep you have at night. 

Go to sleep at similar times every day. If you go to sleep earlier or later than this, you will ruin your sleep schedule and feel groggy. 

I expand more here. 

ORAL HEALTH

This is a step many people will neglect, but the most important in my opinion. Your teeth are the only body part that fails to regenerate after a certain age. Here's how I take care of mine!

Brush your teeth for longer. Brushing your teeth should not be a sped-up process, put actual thought into it. 

Start flossing. Floss removes plaque, and reduces the chances of your teeth yellowing! Do this ideally after each meal.

Brush your teeth before you eat. Brushing my teeth is the first thing I do when I wake up because brushing your teeth is supposed to protect your teeth from the food, not wash away your food. 

If you have the means, buy an electric toothbrush, as this gets in the little nooks and crannies that a regular one cannot. 

Use a tongue scraper or your toothbrush to get rid of any bacteria on your tongue. 

Use straws to drink coffee or any heavily coloured drinks. This avoids the premature yellowing of teeth. Make sure you put the straw on the side of your mouth to avoid your teeth. 

Use good mouthwash. A total game-changer, makes your breath fresher and your gums healthier. 

If need be, definitely use a purple teeth serum as a whitening treatment.

GRADE 2: STYLE 

I do not mean literal clothes and style, that's in grade 3. This is all about basic grooming and such. This is 2nd most important, especially if you're somebody who’s never been invested in beauty.

SKINCARE 

Get a basic skincare routine, cleanser and moisturiser.

If you have other skincare concerns e.g. dry skin, hyperpigmentation, acne, or blemishes, invest in a serum. 

Avoid touching your face frequently.

Wash makeup brushes & pillowcases often.

Dermaplaning to help skincare absorb better. 

Use sunscreen!

HAIRCARE

 Invest in a good shampoo and conditioner for your hair type.

Use a good hair oil, it doesn’t have to be for growth, but just for nourishing your scalp

Sleep with a good quality bonnet on.

Find which type of hairbrush works the best on you!

Use warm water to remove product build up and dirt, but use cool water to rinse.

Buy spray suncsreen to put on your scalp during hot weather.

Once again, research. Hair is just too much of a broad topic for me to thoroughly talk about.

EYEBROW & LASHES

Trim your eyebrows regularly to avoid too many stray hairs

Tint your eyebrows and lashes. If you already have dark eyelashes and brows, try a lighter look. I seem to prefer a dark brown look to a black 

Invest in a good lash & brow serum or use any oil

Don't use Vaseline on your eyelashes.

 Limit how much you wear mascara. 

I talk more about this here. 

BODY & HANDS 

Have a daily shower routine which consists of washing, exfoliating and moisturising your skin. 

Using scented products is such a game changer, smelling good is like being a magnet 

Doing manicures, my routine is a cuticle scrub, file, buff, polish, paint then cuticle oil. 

Shave on the areas you want to. Having smooth skin is nice, but to ensure your shave lasts longer, watch a video. 

I post about creating a good shower routine here. 

LIPS

Invest in a good, portable lip balm. I prefer the ones that burn your lips to give it a more fuller effect

Make your lip scrub. Sugar, honey and turmeric are my go-to. Helps remove dead skin.

If you have hyperpigmentation around the lips, use glycolic acid, only a little.

GRADE 3 – FASHION

My favourite grade, because it is so fun and focuses more on the aesthetic side of things. However, they're not essential, which makes it all the more fun!

CLOTHES 

 I have a post about wardrobe essentials here. 

Find out about what season colours you are. This helps with using colours in fashion to enhance. ( if you don't like your colours it is okay, it doesn’t change much if you do not wear them) 

Figuring out your undertone colours for jewellery. 

Figure out what works for your figure. Experiment with necklines, bottom length etc. 

Find out your general style too, what you feel confident in and more assured. 

MAKEUP

Research and only watch tutorials of women who look like you (trust me). 

Dear Peachie has a bunch of videos of how makeup works, for beginners to more advanced artists!

Then make your signature look for every using your knowledge. 

FRAGRANCE 

Invest in a good eau de parfum and eau de toilette. Cheap fragrances suck. 

Invest in a good-scented lotion. My favourite brand is Vaseline.

Using a good nice fabric softener for laundry makes you feel and smell fresh

Using an expensive scented body wash doesn’t matter, invest in a good body lotion. 

HAIR STYLING 

Hairstyles that enhance your face shape, not shield it. 

Having a simple signature look for everyday

Experimenting with your hair is ideal, but if you can't for whatever reason once again research.

GRADE 4 – PERSONALITY

The way you seem to others can make you so much prettier. Fake it till you make it as always~

POSTURE

Having good posture makes you stand out, makes you look prettier and is generally good for your health

Chin is parallel to the floor, shoulders are down and relaxed, rib cage is elevated, pelvis is tucked in, your knees straight and flexed, and the weight on your feet should be in the center.

You can stretch for good posture, there are many videos on this on YouTube.

Ensure your sleeping position is promoting good posture, not poor. 

Buy a back brace to reinforce good posture.

BODY LANGUAGE

Learn how to move your body during conversations to seem more self-respected and confident.

Train your facial expressions for different situations, but especially for taking photos.

There are tons of books and videos on this, won’t expand because this is all about how you want others to perceive you. 

ELOQUENCE

Improve the way you communicate with others. Be fluent and clear to understand 

Expand your vocabulary, know how to substitute words on the spot and make sentences. 

Knowing what to say in like any and every conversation makes people like you more, and the best way to be more eloquent is just practice. 

There are so many good books about this.. read.

GRADE 5 – MIND

Personally, having a good mindset does boost your self-perception of your prettiness + being happier in general makes you more inclined to take care of yourself = being more pretty!!!

MENTAL HEALTH

Start journaling as a way to organise your thoughts and to truly analyse your emotions. There are a lot of journaling prompts on Pinterest and such!

Meditation as a way to clear the mind when needed is so good. There are a bunch more meditations for other purposes though like body image, productivity, focus or just general relaxation.

Go to therapy, or just have at least one person you can talk to when life becomes tough.

Cut back on social media. There's misinformation, trolls and a lot of content that isn't nourishing your mind. 

Get some sun! Simple and doable, but has a huge effect on the body. It can improve the current mood. Wear sunscreen. 

Start learning how to process situations, instead of bypassing the emotions that come with them. 

Start surrounding yourself with like-minded people. Seriously, being around people who are just too different is draining. 

MINDSET

Embrace growth and reject all forms of comfort. Being uncomfortable with something is growth. 

Don’t do things because you ‘have’ to do this, do them because they benefit you and see it in that way. E.g ‘I’m going to clean my room because I deserve a clean place to rest and work’ instead of ‘I have to clean my room’

Become detached. Stop letting everything that happens in your life affect you, start observing instead of consuming. 

Self validates yourself. Tam Kaur did a wonderful video on this that I think everyone should watch.

Stop believing that everything and everyone is out to get you. Your subconscious mind believes this, do not feed it, starve it.

There's a lot to say about mindset, but I recommend watching some mindset YouTubers who explain everything in depth.

and now,,,, here's a ANOTHER gift from lanny because u read her post. And liked it. And reblogged it. And followed her.. pleaseee

[xenosagaepisodeone]

supersize me is incredible in how potently hateful it is. it's as if the pop culture wasteland of the 2000s suffocated spurlock's brain to the point where whatever synapses that hadn't shriveled up were only left capable of firing off the same demand to keep punching down at all costs that every halfwit with access to cable news and a desire to 'tell it how it is' seemed to have been afflicted with. everyone knows the methodology in this doc is bunk, but what's missing from the conversation is how this film is another artifact of antagonizing incurious dipshit libertarian smarming about how the sheepish masses cannot just simply get with the program and be better. "americans are fat fat fat fat so fucking fat and they love it so much that they'll let their kids eat the same slop that they serve in prison" "wait, back up. the same apparatus that provides elementary school lunches also supplies prison food? and you're saying the cost of healthier food isn't all that much more? is there anything here worth looking into further?" "no. but have this clip of this random guy talking about how we should heckle fat people like how we heckle smokers". what made this film notable for its time was how it was less focused on how being fat makes you look (which isn't to say that isn't still a huge component of it. because it is. and spurlock has endless shots of strangers with their faces blurred out to emphasize this), but the alleged deterioration of lifestyle, values and vitality that comes with the depletion of one's physical health. that is to say, the film is arguing that failing to live a regimented lifestyle causes one to fall into a state of moral decay. this is the buried lede, because ultimately this film is actually-actually about an alcoholic externalizing the complex he has towards his own lack of self control onto fat people.

it is no wonder why elementary school health teachers in the aughts were quick to deploy it in classrooms at the same rate they did photos of STIs in place of actual sex ed. the imagery of this greasy motherfucker throwing up in his car is meant to serve the same purpose in telling kids that this is what happens when they can't control themselves. when a corporation is blamed for something, it's only inasmuch as it enables people to be dumb and fat. spurlock points out how mcdonald's predatory advertising normalizes it's products in places it should not be (hospitals in particular), which you think would warrant further discussion- but in line with pushing responsibility onto the role of the individual, this is framed as merely mcdonalds tricking customers instead of actively encroaching on their way of life via invading media and legislature. no, the real villains are cafeteria lunch ladies, who are not instilling discipline in your children unlike National Weight Loss Hero Jared Fogle, who educates children around the world. one can only imagine that spurlock's libertarian values compel him to feel a sense of kinship.

the funniest part of this film was the one doctor who seemed to know that he was bullshitting about not having any drinking habits but doesn't want to be up front about confronting him. at first he comments on how how spurlock's liver resembles one belonging to someone engaged in long term alcohol abuse, and then later in the film he gives some generic lip service in response to spurlock's report like 'well, i wouldn't think that fast food and liver health are connected, but your report seems to indicate otherwise' before cutting straight to "whatever you're doing, stop pickling your liver". also at another point spurlock goes "lunch time" and there's a hard cut to some fat mcdonalds employees and he's trying so hard to evoke disgust with all of these shots but my response to these baddies is just "zamn looks like they got dinner and dessert too 🥵🥵💦💦💦💦💦💦💦"

but anyway

[alstroemerian-dragon]

man. thinking about how the survivors all desperately need new hobbies

like. okay. sonia’s a great example. off the top of your head what are her hobbies? probably learning about and researching true crime and the occult, and watching j-dramas/anime, right? but if you really think about it, her fascination with japanese culture very much feels like her just desperately wanting to fit in and massively overcompensating. so while i do think she probably enjoys those shows, theyre definitely not as popular in her kingdom as she claims (not that im saying she’s lying on purpose, just that. well, when you feel embarrassed about someones reaction to you liking something, sometimes you’ll try to make an excuse for why you do yknow), and plus, its not like they have access to a lot of entertainment media for a while post program. as for the occult/true crime stuff…

look me in the eye and tell me junko did not use that against her. do you really think junko enoshima would not see a girl obsessed with the study of serial killers and not try and warp that into a fascination with her?

i think that stuff leaves a bad taste in her mouth now. and after committing and being complicit in the committing of the kind of crimes she used to be fascinated by, its kind of hard to find the joy in that anymore, yknow? the occult stuff could maybe still be enjoyable, but with how often it feels like there are ghosts lurking around every fucking corner and her dreams are filled with screaming corpses its kinda hard to be fanciful about that stuff.

so. girl needs some new hobbies.

its not much better for the others, either. akanes hobbies were basically working out, doing parkour, eating, and sleeping. the first two are downright impossible for the first several months after waking up, and for the foreseeable future any kind of physical activity is going to be, to an extent, difficult just due to how much chronic pain and weakness she’ll probably suffer the rest of her life. she can get to a healthier weight and a stronger muscular build, but its not going to change the fact that she gets out of breath and sore much faster than before. as for eating… well. thats gonna be a sore subject for a while. so all she has left is sleeping, and sleeping all day is, as ive been told by many people, kind of a depression symptom? and theres no way the others would sit back and let her do that.

girl needs some new hobbies!

kazuichi, from what we can tell, had a few more normal hobbies. in game you can find him gaming with chiaki, and he seems to enjoy coming up with schemes and plans for silly stuff, but overall he just loves his tinkering. he may be the ultimate mechanic but first and foremost he just loves fucking with machines and engines and finding out what makes them tick. but even that isnt gonna work anymore. sure, he could game. if they had any fucking consoles. or a working computer network. or any games. but none of that is happening for a while, if ever. as for his tinkering, it’s gotta be a similarly sore subject to sonia’s training and tutoring as a princess. its too closely linked to what he did as a despair, too closely linked to his talent, to not make him feel like screaming when he smells machine polish. i think he definitely could get back to a point where it genuinely brings him joy again, and before that he definitely forces himself to use his talent and knowledge because they need it, but. its a complicated problem.

the guy needs some new fucking hobbies.

and of course… fuyuhiko.

fuyuhiko… doesnt have any hobbies.

like okay can you think of a single thing from the game (or fuck even the anime) that implies that he has anything he actually does For Fun. he has a sweet tooth. hes dedicated to his clan. he went to the zoo with peko one time. he got in fights at school. thats… those arent hobbies. fuyuhiko doesnt have any hobbies!!! someone get this boy some fucking knitting needles or a book to read!!!! please!!!!!!!!!! i think it would genuinely help him a lot to have something to do instead of just sitting and stewing in his own trash fire of a brain speaking from experience. learn to sew, read some fantasy novels, learn to play the guitar, something. im begging you.

and hajime is his own fucking can of worms.

he probably had hobbies before the Horrors. right? he probably played some video games, maybe liked martial arts films, maybe sketched in the margins of his notebooks. rode his bike sometimes. but now? nothing keeps his interest that long. everything becomes monotonous after a while, and sure, sometimes thats the draw. with stuff like fiber crafts the point is sometimes making it muscle memory so you have something to do with your hands. but other times its not. and his ability to basically excel in most things you put in front of him has to be so fucking boring after a while. a lot of the point of having hobbies is that you arent perfect. the draw is learning, is getting better. even reading can become nothing when any nonfiction book has knowledge in it you already know and any fiction book you can intuit the ending from the first few pages. he probably reads Lightning Fast now too, so it cant hold his interest for long.

he probably has to constantly be switching hobbies and outlets. cant stay on one thing too long, or the ennui starts to set in. that sounds miserable.

someone get these kids some hobbies, man

[tcfkag]

2024 and the Return of the To-Done List

So, after a year during which (a) our daughter ran full-speed (literally) into the trying two's, (b) I had multi-focal pneumonia that resulted in a week or two in the hospital (including a brief sojourn in the ICU), (c) I had bizarre, seemingly inexplicable seizures for the first time ever [which meant I couldn't drive for six months...right after we moved to a semi-"rural" town...for the northeast that is], (d) had an acute kidney injury, (e) had several bouts of unexplained pitting edema in my legs, (f) started a new job that I actually really like, even if there is a steep learning curve, and (g) lost my Mom after a long battle with mild to moderate dementia/Alzheimer's that then dropped off a cliff into end-stage dementia in less than six months (depending on how you count it), and (h) just generally felt like I was never managing my physical or mental health as well as I could or should be, I'm going to try to make some changes. These aren't resolutions because I truly think that New Year's resolutions just set you up to fail. Instead, I'd call them goals. Or, at least, hope that I want to support with action as much as I can. While still giving myself grace knowing that I can and probably will mess up along the way. But, the first step is that I'm going to try to bring back a kind of journaling-like activity (since I suck at journaling) that my old therapist recommended when I was feeling like this before. Each day I make a list, generally on Tumblr for at least a tiny modicum of peer pressure, and I just make a list of everything I've done that day. No matter how big or how small. As she put it "make it your base assumption that each day, you will do absolutely nothing, so you get credit for everything, even things as simple as showering. I frequently restart these lists when my depression and anxiety have gotten bad enough that I know I'm not taking care of myself, mentally and physically, so a big part of my goals are (a) to move more [in whatever form that takes], (b) eating healthier, and (c) to take care of several medical/dental appointments that I've been putting off for way too long. The beauty of the list is that, a lot of the time, I ended up doing stuff BECAUSE of the list. So that I won't be staring at an empty page as I try to make my list each year.

Things I'm proud of today...so far:

when we took Peanut to the trampoline park to burn off some of her "no daycare today suckers" energy and this time, I bought a jump pass for myself. I only made it ~30 minutes but it was a great work-out. 10/10 would recommend.

I took the dogs for the "long" trail walk out to the back of our property,

I did a core and flexibility routine this morning,

I decided to take one for the team and point out to my Uncle that the nostalgia he feels about Aunt Jemimah as a syrup mascot isn't as important as the company making money off the likeness of a woman who died 100 years ago who was used as a stand in for the generic idea of what an enslaved (or recently freed) Black woman did or should do, and (finally)

this one is a few days late, but not only did we drive 12+ hours to visit my in-laws for Christmas, but we also stopped in NJ in both directions to pick up Monotasker's Aunt who is 80-years-old, hard of hearing, and in the early stages of dementia or Alzheimer's and I didn't even lose my shit at a single person...even the ones who deserved it.

Happy New Years everyone!

"May the best of your todays be the worst of your tomorrows." (Jason Mraz) And even if the worst of your todays are the best of your tomorrows, I hope you can still find your way out and through by the light of the moon to guide you.

[the-caged-jester]

ooc post

damn- sorry for ranting so much guys but like audhshhfhshd anyways- CW: ableism

It’s just so irritating that my prents don’t belive our chronic pain. They don’t believe in our mental disorders, they don’t believe in any of it. They think I’m a hypochondriac who latches onto every disorder I learn about.

Despite some of our stuff being diagnosed, they still refuse to acknowledge it and we get in trouble any time we actually display any symptoms of said issue. They act as if it hurts and inconveniences them more than it does us.

Any time we’ve tried to tell them “hey this is going on” or “hey I’ve been doing research on this for months/years now and I think I probably have it” or “hey I’m in a lot of pain right now” they don’t believe us and we get in trouble.

God forbid they have a disabled child. Even after we did something for the nth time and ended up in the hospital/psych ward, they STILL refused to accept anything was wrong.

They think we do it for attention. It’s always “You’re being overdramatic” or “you’re just seeking attention” or “your friends are influencing you” or “you just want to be special” liek- NO!! Why would I want to deal with any of this????

To make it worse, my father just doesn’t believe in mental health unless it’s severe but then he just calls those people crazy:/ he lives by the “it could always be worse” which always leads to us being put down and our problems belliteled and never lsitened to.

Our mom is one of those people who thinks that exercise and a healthy diet is the cure to everything. We’ll try to talk to her about anything and she just says we need to be more active and eat healthier (which we’re trying, it’s just hard). It does not help that both our mom and father are ableist:/ almost out who family is ableist actually. Physically disabled people? Oh, they just need to try more. Mentally ill people? They just need to get better. UGH I HATE THEM dear god

[pythonmelon]

So I have an eating disorder. Not one related to body image but about fear of illness and food poisoning. My eating disorder may be different than the most well known ones, but it also involves a lot of anxiety and hard work to try and prevent self harm.But, whether its about me disliking my body or not, I still get the "benefits" of having an eating disorder. I've lost a ton of weight, over a third of my body weight has shed off in a little over two years due to anxiety and starvation. I get a lot of positive comments regarding my weight loss. I fit into more clothes. I feel like I look better, even though I had no issue with how I looked before. People ask my secret and I try to be honest about it. Sometimes, though, I catch myself wondering about if this has been ultimately for my benefit, somehow. The idea that being skinny should be some default, that it should be the goal, that it is inherently good is a supremely damaging thing. Its a society wide trend that reinforces bad behaviors in your brain if they get results people like. I'm not bone-thin yet. I don't want to be. I would be fine if I stayed at this weight (and I have! I've been maintaining consistently for a few months and I'm very happy), but I would also be happy being able to put on some weight again. I don't want to be scared of that possibility, because certain people might be disappointed. I was a casual weightlifter in college, before I developed this issue and lost weight. I did a lot of walking and biking. I was pretty darn healthy. I've gotten back in the habit of exercising a lot more recently too, I've been building muscle and it feels nice. But you know what problems I have now that I didn't have before I got an eating disorder and lost a bunch of weight? Semi-frequent migraines from stress and dehydration. Almost constant issues with sudden nausea or stomach cramps or discomfort. Signs that I still don't eat or drink consistently enough.Things are getting better with help and support and effort, but I still backslide at times. And I still catch myself leaning into the idea that somehow this is better, the ideal outcome, to have gotten skinny. That backsliding isn't so bad. I'd still be working out and gaining muscle and living a healthier, happier life now that I live in better conditions and have a somewhat physically demanding job, with or without the weight. None of it was the result of being skinny. What is the result of being skinny is a lot of doubt about how best to care for myself, if getting better is the best idea. This is my own personal experience, but the idea of being skinny as an inherent positive that is constantly advertised, pushed, and praised, and that weight gain is a sign of laziness or sin or whatever, is one that actively prevents healthier life choices and healing.

[novahtalaura]

2024-25 Reflections

Been trying to write out my reflections for 2024 but got distracted with hurting my tailbone at the beginning of the month. Let’s go!

2024’s theme of Temple Care I feel like it was a great success for myself, making so many personal changes and development. I’ve been very aggressive in my attending of regular therapy and I’ve relearnt so much about myself and discovery of boundaries, both in my personal and work life. My initial reason for going into therapy isn’t the same reason I’ve continued going (for the better). I’ve have a much better understanding of myself and my trauma responses. These changes in understanding has also helped shift my own views of the world and the people around me. I’ve reevaluated how I feel about my family and my own expectations of them.

At work, I changed departments in the summer and saw me stepping down from a work committee. The department change has resulted in me having a regular team, expectations, and work flow. This also means I have a stronger voice within my team and more comfortable with them. The work committee step down was out of frustration of how things work function and not getting the support that was promised. I don’t have any hard feelings with the people ON the committee, and I can always return later. I was just seeing a lot behaviors from upper leadership that was reminding me of shit in my childhood that I still struggle with. Fuck that nonsense. 

As for my physical health, it’s a mixed bag. I’m still trying to make better choices in food/meals but my A1C levels went up so I’m now taking metformin. The health team I’m working with is looking at getting me on ozempic in 2025. I haven’t been nearly as active as I should be. The department change has gotten me going into the office more regularly so it does get me more mobile when that happens but for the day to day, I’m pretty inactive. The summer was rough (also lots of emotional eating and poor food choices) mentally, which isn’t uncommon but I saw more stressors in the summer than usual. 2025 I want to get more active because I know that will help me getting physically healthier. Smacking my tailbone this month benched any panels for going to some of the Christmas things around me which would have helped. Despite this I have had better energies through out the day, which was a struggle from last year.

This summer my mom’s health took a plunge, and it resulted in her getting checked into the hospital. Some of it was due to complications of her medication but much of it is also because of her own choices. There was uncertainty for a while what happened and being so far away from her was very stressful. I went up to visit her at the start of the month for the holidays (source of the tailbone injury) and spent time with her. She’s settled on the idea of moving into assisted living and has her name on the list for a place nearby her current place. Before going up, there was a bunch of talks with my therapist helping me prepare for the trip so I had some systems in place. Oh yeah, traveling for 10 hours to get home on an injured tailbone SUCKS.

My social game has been good/okayish. Tea club has continued and went out to most of the things I was invited to but I feel like I could spend more time outside of my house and hanging out with others. Depression didn’t keep me in the house for all of the year, but fear of the unknown did. And people did offer to meet up with me for casual hang outs. I just dropped the ball on it. 

2025’s theme shall be “Year of Discovery”. LARGELY it’ll be carrying forward a lot of the things I have been doing in 2024 into 2025. Therapy will continue so I’ll still be learning more about myself and my trauma. I want to do better with my physical health and make positive changes there. With work I’ll be continuing to learn about the work I’m doing with the team, and I am joining the department book club. Just as an active participant, not doing work behind the scenes. I want to continue to learn about things within DEI and its effects in Canada. I want to get my social game up in 2025, especially in the summer which is a time I normally struggle with. I want to play more board games with people, more TTRPGS. I want to figure out what it means to self-identify as being queer/gender queer. Where/how do I see myself within that space, how does this change how I see myself now, etc. 

Looking forward to the changes 2025 can bring

[futurebird]

A cautious "thumbs up" for Ozempic/Wegovy for weight loss.

There is a lot of nonsense about Ozempic/Wegovy (semaglutide) for managing hunger and loosing weight. If you have heard anything about it, it's probably that celebrities are taking it, that it works fast, that is might make your face look gaunt, old and that it is the "latest fad diet" this is pretty annoying since I don't think much of this is accurate.

My Story

I was not in the market for any kind of weight loss assistance until I shattered my leg two years ago. I was perfectly happy being fairly active, fat, and not stressed about diet or body image. But, breaking my leg changed my perspective: doing PR with so much weight was much harder than I anticipated, so hard that there was a good chance I might not really walk again. So, I started looking into diets and drugs to see if anything had improved since I'd last cared about such things.

Before semaglutide, the only effective drugs for weight loss were things like phentermine. Phentermine is ... well, it's pretty much meth. You can take it for three months and not be hungry and lose some weight, but then it stops working (unless you take more, but too much will give you a heart attack.) So meth-like drugs aren't a great solution. Nearly any other drug or over the counter "weight loss" pill is probably a scam.

Semaglutide is different. It works by reducing the rate that your stomach empties after you eat. So you stay full longer. This can also lead to nausea and strange tasting burps if your dose is too, high, which mine was initially. Semaglutide has been used for years to treat diabetes. Prescribing it for weight loss is new.

I told my doctor about my concerns about not making enough progress in physical therapy if I didn't reduce my weight. I told her about the diet journal I kept, and how I was worried that if I focused on food all the time my ED would come back. She got me signed up for the drug which is injectable. You take it once a week.

I tried my first dose and within hours I was not hungry at all. It was a little scary at first. I would forget to eat. That's not something I've ever done in my life. The stress of thinking about food was gone. And though I did feel a little nauseous for the first few days, soon I was loosing weight as a decent pace, without feeling obsessed with weighing myself and counting calories, without feeling wired on meth. I'm really happy with my progress.

My PR sessions started going much better after I was down 15 pounds, now that I'm down 40 pounds I'm taking up jogging again. I think I can find a new balence. I'm ambivalent about loosing weight. I'm over the moon about walking and having better mobility!

I don't feel like I look that different, which is a relief. I feel better and that's what matters.

This drug is currently kind of annoying to get since its in high demand. That shouldn't last forever. It probably isn't right for everyone. Read the message boards experiences vary. Mine has been particularly good.

Before going on a diet or using any diet aid think about what you are trying to get out of it. Your weight doesn't define who you are but for me it was getting in my way.

I'm not a totally new and different person, but I feel healthier and I can do more of the things that I want, and to me that makes it a good choice.

[drmitalisoni]

5 Ways a Psychiatrist Recommends Cultivating Optimism

Optimism is a powerful tool for improving mental health and overall well-being. According to the best lady psychiatrist in Bhopal, optimism can be learned and cultivated through intentional effort. Here are five ways that psychiatrists recommend cultivating optimism:

1) Practice Positive Self-Talk: One of the most effective ways to cultivate optimism is by engaging in positive self-talk. This means reframing negative thoughts into more optimistic ones, such as “I can do this!” or “This isn't so bad after all." This practice helps build confidence and encourages resilience when facing difficult situations.

2) Spend Time with Positive People: Surrounding yourself with people who have an upbeat outlook on life will help you maintain your own sense of positivity even during tough times. Try joining social groups or clubs that focus on activities you enjoy doing with others who share similar interests—it's sure to lift your spirits!

3) Set Realistic Goals & Celebrate Small Wins: Setting realistic goals for yourself gives you something tangible to work towards while also helping keep track of progress made along the way; celebrating small wins reinforces a sense of accomplishment which further boosts morale over time!  

4) Take Care Of Your Physical Health: Taking care of one's physical health has been linked directly with improved emotional well-being; eating nutritious meals, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep are essential components for maintaining good mental health–allowing us greater capacity for practicing optimism in our lives!

Also Read: Drug Addition Clinic in Bhopal

5) Get Professional Help When Needed: No matter how hard we try sometimes it just isn't enough—that's why seeking professional help from a qualified therapist or psychiatrist may be necessary if deep-rooted issues threaten our ability to remain positive despite trying different methods at home first. Mental healthcare professionals provide invaluable insight regarding how best to manage stressors in order to create healthier habits leading towards increased levels of happiness overall!

[yourcaramelfairy]

I wrote this back when I was still teaching. I have never been one to stress eat, I usually shy away from food when I’m stressed or anxious. Which, unfortunately, as much as I truly did love teaching, my body was always in a state of stress.

I came back from summer 2021, very much underweight and still losing weight. At almost 30, I weighed what I did in high school, without even trying.

It’s wild how people in this country, see a skinny person, and automatically assume that they are healthier than the next person. Definitely wasn’t what was happening for me and I was over self conscious.

____________________________________________

I share all of this because I started therapy when I started my new job, mostly to help me gain my confidence back. And, up until this week, that I’ve been spending at home in New Orleans, I was still missing the body confidence. But, with the amount of compliments I’ve gotten on my HEALTHY body have been overwhelming.

Even more hilarious, is while I was still living here, I always joked saying “I can’t wait until I get my adult body”. So keep working on bettering yourself, but also, bask in compliments that are meant to uplift you 🙏🏾 This is the least self conscious I’ve felt since I was in middle school. And, I’m blessed to be at a place where I can reflect and say “Bitch! You’re doing the damn thing!”

My weight

I wasn’t self conscious about my body until people started to commenting on my appearance. All that I’ve done was get off of birth control and rid my body of all the extra hormones that it added. Then, I started working on my own happiness. I don’t workout and I’m not super active outside of walking my dog 3 times a day. Unless you count the afternoons when I get back from work, turn on my music, and dance the stress of the day away until I’m ready to sit down.

I never wanted to lose weight, it wasn’t on my list of things to do, it just happened. I liked my size and my weight. I liked having an ass and filling out my clothes. But, don’t get me wrong, when I started to see definition in my waist, I was a little hype because it’s something I’d never seen. But outside of that I loved me.

Once I realized that I was still losing weight, regardless of how much I was eating, I just embraced it. Because what else could I do. I wasn’t going to start eating more, I was already eating until I was full at each meal. I’m not big on sweets or soda, so I wasn’t going to add those in to add more meat to my bones. I just decided that I was going to continue to love me, because I still felt happy. I wasn’t having manic depressive episodes, I wasn’t having suicidal thoughts, I wasn’t feeling the need to harm myself. I was at peace.

But of course that could only last for but so long. I started receiving more and more comments on my weight/size from coworkers, family and friends. Even regular followers were messaging me asking me what I had done to lose the weight. And, my answer of getting off birth control wasn’t hitting with people. Then, more questions came, are you eating? Are you working out a lot? Are you depressed? Is it work?

Yes, I’m eating. I even started making it a point to eat lunch at work even when I didn’t have the time. No, I’m not working out in the traditional sense, just my afternoons of dance and daily walks with Fez. No, I wasn’t as depressed as I usually was, I was actually finding peace in life. No, it wasn’t work because regardless of how stressful it was, I was making more friends and getting out more.

However, as more people keep commenting and asking and joking about MY body, my mental state has been slipping. It’s starting to feel like something really is wrong with me, even though I don’t feel like I’m sick or unhealthy. I still feel physically strong, but mentally I’m drowning. I want to love myself again, but it’s becoming increasingly hard with everyone around me chiming in about MY appearance.

You would think that it would be easy to ignore the outside commentary. But, when you’ve always felt self conscious about your body, it’s easy to fall back into the negative. Hopefully it won’t take as long to dig my way out this time…

[appalachiananarchist]

I have many feelings so this will be long! @chiaroscur0 @cabbagequeen323 @shellstrop420 @marshapono

Concerns I have:

1) The way GLP-1 have been endorsed lately just feels predatory. Public endorsements suggest these are quick, easy, weekly shots to make you skinny and then you will be "healthy." This is all without explaining how the medicine works. Most who come in asking about these meds have no clue what they are. GLP-1s are being endorsed as a quick fix for obesity, not as an actual, strong medication with well defined medical indications and contraindications. Every medicine alters some physiologic process in your body, and as such, will have side effects and risks. GLP-1s make you feel full with less food and for longer, which is one way they help with weight loss. This means that food just kinda sits inside of you instead of digesting normally. This is not how bodies are supposed to work, so people on them can start developing the same symptoms someone with gastroparesis (think of that like stomach paralysis) might: severe nausea or vomiting and intense changes in bowel movements. GLP-1s also increase the risk of thyroid cancer and pancreatitis, among other potential side effects. People also don't realize that this is a lifelong commitment. You stop this drug, you gain weight back unless you've made major lifestyle changes--and most people really struggle to do that or don't want to.

I have a "if it ain't broke don't fix it" approach to medicine. It goes against every fiber of my being to say, "Hey, let's take your perfectly healthy GI tract and intentionally break it so you can't eat so much. Then you'll lose weight! Also, you may develop thyroid cancer or pancreatic disease!" Weight loss has its place, but is not the pinnacle of health. I don't prioritize if over keeping your healthy body functioning like a healthy body. If someone tells me that they are trying to lose weight, I want it done in a way that is as healthy as possible--and that generally means physical activity, healthy diet choices, and maybe seeing a counselor if overeating is an emotional problem. In general, if your body is operating normally, I think you should just leave it alone.

2) I am worried about people fixating on this drug as if it will make them healthier without the appropriate lifestyle changes. Being thinner doesn't mean being healthier. It isn't that simple. Unless your medical condition is associated with weight and is managed with weight loss, you need to live a healthy lifestyle to improve your health, not take a weekly shot. But let's be real: MOST people wanting this are more interested in weight loss for body image reasons. Or, they are misinformed and genuinely believe skinny = healthy, which is way oversimplified and not accurate. With the social stigma against obesity and conflicting information out there I totally get it, but this all feels a bit too close to profiting off of weight-based insecurity and/or poor medical literacy. And let's be real again: both obesity and poor medical literacy are higher in the poor.

I am not opposed to writing it to non-diabetics when I really feel weight loss could help improve overall wellbeing and all risks are clearly discussed. For example, I have a pseudotumor cerebri patient with uncontrolled symptoms despite all the traditional medications. Due to the impact on her vision, neurosurg wanted to do a shunt, but she and her POA refused surgery. She has a mild intellectual disability that makes traditional weight loss hard for her, so to save her vision and stop her daily debilitating headaches, we agreed to try a GLP-1. It worked. Her vision is no longer deteriorating and her headaches are almost entirely gone. So she is a case where I am comfortable with the decision to do a GLP-1 for weight loss because she had a very poor quality of life without it and could have permanently lost her sight.

3) The craze is impacting my ability to care for my other patients. My diabetics have been losing access to the meds they really need because local pharmacies are wiped out of just about every GLP-1 brand, especially at the low doses. I am spending a RIDICULOUS amount of time per day calling various pharmacies to try and make brand swaps or dose changes. This is time taken away from other patient needs. The sheer number of GLP-1 demands and calls coming to my inbox are tying up my inbox and the nurse line, keeping patients with serious medical questions from getting through. When I say it is a lot, I am talking probably 40% of my incoming calls/messages are non-diabetic GLP-1 inquiries right now, on top of what my "normal" inbox looked like prior to everyone asking for these meds. It is unsustainable.

And don't get me started on insurance. Most of my patients don't have insurances that cover these in non-diabetics. There's nothing I can do about the price, and I cannot force them to cover it even if I agreed to write it. Please stop yelling at me.

I think there was a study out there that said a family doctor would need like 27 hours per day in order to complete all of the tasks expected of them. Since this all started, I personally would have to tack another 1-2 hours/day MINIMUM onto that.

I have many feelings on the GLP-1 craze, mostly negative, but would be really interested hearing how others in the medical field feel about it.

[httpjungkookcom]

BTS Secretly Crushing On You

Seokjin

Making really good food to try and impress you and then immediately down playing it. He would package it in really cute little bento box lunch boxes and give them to you everyday, saying “You need to eat healthier, a granola bar from the vending machine isn’t good enough.” Also denies your compliments on how good his cooking is almost every time.

Acting cute to get your attention, but subtlety. Like, he wouldn’t straight out do aegyo in front of you, because that would be embarrassing. But like whining more when he talks to you, tries to make sure he doesn’t pull any ugly faces when you’re watching. (Unless it’s on purpose to make you laugh.) Makes sure his hair is always styled and looks pretty. 

Sending cute finger hearts 24/7, hoping you would somehow catch them even if you weren't paying attention. He gets slightly offended when you don’t turn around in your seat to catch them out of the air, even though you have no idea he’s doing it. 

Spoiling you, getting you food, clothes etc. He’s the type to buy you clothes and give them to you and be like, “I thought you would like this, so I picked it out.” Blushes super hard when you open it because he knows his excuses are basically transparent, smiles super hard the entire time too. 

Yoongi

Pretends to be asleep when you catch him staring, which sounds annoying, but you think it’s honestly hilarious. If you confront him on his antics, he has an excuse for everything which is arguably even more funny. “What? No, I was probably just sleep walking….but sitting down. You know what, maybe you’re just seeing things.” 

You’re probably in some of his music, but not directly. Most likely the inspiration behind some of his love songs. He would get all giddy and blush when writing them and thinking about you, but he’d never admit it. Also denies his band  members accusations as well, despite the obvious boost in love songs within the last few weeks. 

He would ask what you think, about everything. How he plays the piano, his rapping, singing, some new music he wrote, etc. He wants to know what you think about him, but without asking you directly. Secretly, he mentally jots down all of your feedback and opinions. 

Let’s you bother him all the time without ever getting annoyed, extremely patient with you. You know how Jungkook said that Yoongi never yells or gets onto him? It would be like that. He doesn’t even get annoyed when you come to his studio to sit on the couch while he works. 

Hoseok

Super obvious and doesn’t even try to hide it, he probably couldn’t hide it even if he wanted to. Always walking over to you and hugging you, holding your hand, kissing your cheek, etc. His love language is physical touch and he shows it with little to no shame. 

Hoseok would actively try to make you smile when you aren’t feeling that good. He doesn’t like to see you down, so he goes out of his way to do things that make you laugh at him. 

Secretly wants your opinion on his dancing and rapping, especially if he was the one that composed/choreographed it all. He usually shows it to you first to see how you react, and then goes to Yoongi/Namjoon to talk about producing it officially. He would also try and dress up for you subtly after you mentioned you liked his sense of fashion, you definitely noticed the change but won't mention it. 

Both of you would act like a couple even though it’s not even official, the members always asking about it. “Are you guys dating yet? It feels like it’s been years already!” 

Namjoon

Ended up accidentally hurting you when flirting. Like I feel like he would tell a joke and then turn around to kind of punch you in the arm (in a friendly way), but accidentally misjudge his strength. This leaves you with a giant bruise all across the outside of your arm. It made him feel horrible, even though you reassure him that you knew he didn’t mean to. 

Very very obvious flirting too. You know that one smile/smirk that he does? Oml, pulls it out every chance that he gets. It’s extremely attractive and he knows it, always doing it when you’re around to see. 

Like the other rappers in the group, I definitely feel like you would also influence his solo songs and his albums. A lot more love songs would come out, and because he’s so obvious, you know they’re about you. After he publishes them, he would text you and be like, “Did you like the new album? :)”

Super sweet and respectful basically 100% of the time. Very aware of his manners and how he behaves around you. Like he’s flirting and he wants it to be obvious, but he’s not overbearing to where it makes you uncomfortable. 

Jimin

Super bubbly when you’re around, claims that you give him energy to perform and make music. Because of this, he usually “sneaks” you backstage to their concerts. By sneak, I mean, everyone knows that you’re there and no one really cares, but it’s an ongoing joke you guys have. 

Dances with you a lot whenever he gets the chance to, teaching you while also showing off in a subtle way. I feel like he would also teach you the basics of singing, not in an overbearing way, but he’s sharing his passions with you, which makes you feel extremely special. 

Hates going on long tours without you, especially world tours with no breaks. If he’s away for that long, he tries to text you everyday and sometimes even sends you little gifts from wherever he’s at. You tell him over and over that it’s not necessary and you understand that he has to be away, but he still does it anyway. 

Just wants to see you happy, always cheers you up after a long day with hugs, cuddling, forehead kisses, etc. He’s just an extremely sweet person. “Are you feeling okay, I wanna make sure you're happy, Y/n.”

Taehyung

Tries to act super cool and collected for the first couple of days, because he really doesn’t know how to gauge you just yet. Almost like a mysterious, quiet boy that no ones knows much about. Eventually, he let’s this go once he sees that you like to joke around and be affectionate with others. 

Taking you to cute art museums and showing you his knowledge on all of the paintings in the area. Explains to you who the artist is and what the meaning behind the art is. Even if you aren’t really into art, you like hearing him talk about something that he’s so passionate about. 

You basically become Yeontan’s 2nd parent, if Tae can’t watch him he comes over to your house. Tae always says you don’t have to, but secretly, he feels his heart swell when he sees you guys playing together. 

Gets lightly scolded for taking breaks in between shooting to sit with you. Sometimes he’ll drag you to hang out on set, so every chance he gets he runs off to hang out with you for as long as possible. “Yeah, I’m coming Namjoon. Be right there!” And then proceeds to sit for 5 more minutes.

Jungkook

Super shy, like indirectly runs away when he sees you. For a while, you really thought that he just completely hated you and didn’t even want to see you. It wasn’t until Yoongi told you one time that it meant he was just nervous. Jungkook eventually apologized, which was honestly more endearing than anything else. 

Blushing furiously when you compliment him. Usually when his members compliment him, it boosts his ego a bit and his chest swells. But when you do it, it throws him off a bit and causes him to stumble over his words, face and ears red as he fights back his smile. “...Uhm, uh, thank you.” 

He’d be the type to play hide and seek or manhunt with you and purposely scare you every single chance he got. Partly because he thinks it's cute, another partly because he thinks it’s even cuter how you jump into his arms when you’re scared of something (even though he’s the one that orchestrated it.) 

Once you get closer, I feel like he would be extremely possessive over you. Not in a jealous toxic way, but in a he has such strong feelings and he doesn’t want to lose you way. Doesn’t like when Jimin kisses your hand, even though he does it to get a rise out of Jungkook, but still. He doesn’t like it one bit. 

[rainy-day-coffee]

Vice dorm leaders with a fem!s/o who doesn't care about her, but cares hella for other people? She is someone extremely lovely, but doesn't care for go to extremes to help someone?

Make sure to take care of yourself everyone! Go drink water! Or tea! Or better yet, coffee! Go eat something too!

If this isn’t exactly what you wanted, don’t hesitate to send in another request! On an entirely different note, I just realized that if I wrote a confession scenario for Jamil it would contain a ton of angst, with some ending fluff in an attempt to heal the wounds. Or maybe more angst to squeeze lemon juice in said wounds.

Vice dorm leaders with a caring fem!s/o who does not care for herself

Trey knows the feeling of burnout at the expense of others. He doesn’t tend to put the needs of others before his own, but he is used to leaving them for later if the situation calls for it. As vice dorm leader, he always has a steady stream of stress flowing all around him. It’s one of the last things he would wish upon anyone.

His dorm always seems to have a new source of trouble. You always try and lessen his burden even when he tells you it isn’t necessary. It melts him on the inside!

He’s thoroughly heart-broken when he realizes you care for everyone but yourself. He knew you had a tendency to prioritize others, he just hadn’t thought it would be this severe.

In his free time, he’ll sit you down and have a long talk with you. He needs to know why exactly you feel the need to do this and what he can do to help. If you aren’t confident enough to tell him, he’ll respect your wishes.

If you thought he radiated parent aura before, he’ll radiate nearly twice as much now. He sends you text messages throughout the day to remind you of things! For example, “If Ace and Deuce get into trouble again, let them. Riddle can chew them out later”

He’ll gently pull you away from draining situations you put yourself in. If you so desire, you can return to them later. For now, how about you help him bake a bit? It’s a great way to relieve some stress!

Your thinking and way of being is almost the exact opposite of his. Why are you willing to give people everything and not take anything for yourself? Why do you push your own importance to the bottom of the list? That is, if it’s even there in the first place. You absolutely baffle him to no end.

Growing up in the slums taught him to put his needs first. He acts solely to benefit himself, or so he says. That mindset carried on into your relationship too. For the long run, you both will learn from each other. Ruggie will teach you that it’s okay to think about yourself. Everything you do will benefit someone important to him, you. You’ll teach him that not every act of kindness needs something in return. He won’t be indebted to anyone, especially not to you.

Every time you offer to help him with anything his heart explodes with happiness! It’s a strange feeling, but he loves it nonetheless!

He does get a little jealous when you help others. He knows it’s in your nature but he’s a little on the greedier side.

The moment Ruggie sees you biting off more than you can chew, he will sit you down and make you rest. You’ve done this countless times for him, it’s only fair if he does it for you too.

He’ll help you with absolutely everything you ask! Your happiness is something that makes him happy too. It’s well worth the investment!

He’s guilty of exploiting you. Long before your relationship blossomed into what it is today, he would ruthlessly watch you diligently completing tasks for others. Even he would give you things to do! You were always willing to help after all. It didn’t matter if he threw a tsunami of different chores at you, you’d always do your best to complete them. It amused him greatly. A caring hard-worker with no strings attached? How excellent.

That way of thinking changes a bit when he starts to develop feelings for you. It changes even more when you two start dating.

Loves that you support his club activities! He likes inviting you to help him too. The Mountain Appreciation Club now has two members!

If he sees people dump their problems on you, he’ll send his dear brother after them. While Floyd has fun squeezing them, Jade will invite you to take a nice long break with him instead.

He knows that talking sometimes isn’t the best way to get things to happen. He’s aware that changing the way someone thinks is also something that will take time.

If you refuse to put your needs first, he’ll request things from you whilst simultaneously canceling all other plans. Those requests will simply include things he knows you enjoy doing and things he knows you need to attend to. You’ll do it for him no doubt, correct?

You managed to worm your way into a cold eel’s heart, you now must deal with the “selfish” love he gives. Though that love doesn’t seem all that selfish.

At first he was very hesitant to let you into his life, much his less heart. People who were “kind” to him always hide their true intentions until the last moment. Usually, they would only be kind to him to get to Kalim, something Jamil always had to be wary of.

He’s used to people asking him for his services, not someone asking to help him with them. Although Kalim is always willing to help him, Jamil can never accept, not that he wants to in the first place. It’s a different case with you.

Mainly, he’ll give you tasks the two of you can do together. It’s a way to squeeze in more time with you! Apart from that, he prefers to do his work by himself. He doesn’t want to rope you into his life as a servant.

Jamil isn’t the best at speaking about emotions and such. When he realizes just how little you take for yourself, he feels pained but he won’t say anything about it. Instead, he takes it upon himself to help you just as you’ve helped him.

As hypocritical as he thinks it is, he wants you to take care of your own needs and desires too. Ever since Kalim granted him more freedom, he’s been trying to do the same. Although you two are different cases, it’s a lesson both of you can learn together.

The moment you become his girlfriend, he technically starts to stalk you. He used to do so before the relationship started as, but whether you knew that or not is a subject for another day.

After watching you for a while, he starts to notice a pattern. Not one he likes either.

Rook sees the beauty in everything and everyone. He has a way of convincing people to see that beauty too. He’ll slowly make sure you extend that kindness you give to others to yourself. As eccentric as he is, he’s also a very patient man.

He’ll verbally remind you and ask what you really want to do. This includes the topic of his requests too. If he ever asks for something that you really don’t want to do, he’ll drop it. He tells you it’s your right to put your needs first.

“Mon amour, all people in the world are important and worth loving. That includes yourself. If you ever find yourself forgetting this, I will be here to remind you every day!”

He’s a very giving lover himself! He goes out of his way to do many things for you! 

He doesn’t want you to change who you are, he just wants you to be kinder to yourself!

More likely than not, you’re some sort of friend to Idia. You probably met him through Ortho!

He’s very grateful to you, you’re one of the first real-life people who has tried to befriend Idia. You’ve probably tried to get Idia to practice some more healthy eating habits and the like too. Apart from that, you also try to understand both of them.

Ortho sees you as a best friend, maybe even an older sister! He doesn’t like to see such negative thoughts concerning your well-being.

Just like he does for his older brother, he tries to get you to practice some healthier habits. More specifically, he makes you promise to help yourself! It’s his way of showing that he cares for you greatly.

Be wary, he pops up randomly during the day to remind you to take care of yourself! If he sees you helping a friend, he will help you himself. Afterwards, he’ll drag you to rest! You spend lots of energy both physically and mentally, you need to recharge! Not even Ortho can run for forever without recharging his battery!

Lean on him! He’s very reliable, his brother has given him many different features!

He’s met people such as yourself before. Right off the bat he knew how you handled yourself.

As much as he appreciates the amount of effort you put into helping him, he most likely will shoot you down from trying in the first place. He’s an old one, he can do such work easily you can rest assured!

He constantly tells you to enjoy your youth. Go on! Do crazy things! Be selfish! 

Lilia will be your personal cheerleader on your journey!

In all seriousness though, he’ll have a talk with you about this. Among other things, he’ll gently encourage you to push yourself forward. Though it will be a long process, stamping out the thoughts of needing to help others without helping yourself is the first step.

Nobody dares to ask too much of you. The vice leader of Diasomnia may look cute on the outside but he does have an intense aura surrounding him when he wants to.

He likes to rope you into spontaneous adventures in the great outdoors! It’s a perfect get-away from the stress at school. It also gives you some time to sort out your thoughts. 

Slowly but surely he’ll make you realize your worth is just as-if not even more-important as those around you.

[hologramcowboy]

https://www.tumblr.com/hologramcowboy/704906462083858432/hi-idk-if-this-is-weird-but-i-saw-you-mentioned?source=share

//Post pictures of your ideal body in places you can easily see them. This includes your phone or laptop/pc wallpaper.

Move the treats and sweets some place where they are complicated to reach.//

I just need to comment, and I am trying to be respectful here, but these two pieces are really kind of... bad advice. I would NEVER recommend people post pictures of their "ideal bodies". That is very toxic and can have negative and devastating effects. Most people have unrealistic expectations and not being able to ever reach their "ideal body" can lead to anxiety, depression, among other issues and most damaging - eating disorders. If you are constantly confronted by this "ideal body" on your phone, around your house, etc. that you can never reach? That can have long lasting effects on mental health. Everybody can't have every body. It's just not realistic. And I speak from not just personal experience, but from having friends, family, acquaintances that have gone through the same or very similar things (plus a psych degree but this was not my area of specialty so I don't pretend like I am an authority). While anon who sent the ask seems to have realistic expectations and isn't looking to lose weight specifically, they are not the only one reading your response. At a young age when I was in the best shape I will probably ever be in in my life I started this. I cut out pics of the "ideal body" I wanted, I saved them in a notebook for reference. I started dieting and exercising to try and reach that goal. I never could (I was a size 3 and very active and still never could). Then my eating disorders started shortly after. This was all in high school. 20+ years later I have done so much damage to my body I will probably never know the extent of it. It is a very quick and slippery slope from "this is what I want to look like" to depression and disordered eating. I know my case is not universal, but it is also far more common than people want to admit. My best friend growing up, and at that time when this was all starting, actually was going through the same thing at the same time and I didn't know. I found out a few years later that we both had been struggling through the same thing but that's a longer story for another time. The point is, you should work out for your own mental and physical health, not to get an "ideal body" because you will never reach that goal and you will never be happy with it. If you work out for health benefits then the aesthetic changes are just an added bonus. It's also more sustainable when you aren't trying to work out simply to look a certain way. When you are doing it all for looks then you tend to get much more easily discouraged and many even give up (or go to extremes mentioned above). This was a hard learned lesson.

And about the food comment - first of all, no food is inherently "good" or "bad", we assign them those designations and stigmatize food which is also very detrimental. Yes some foods are more nutrient dense and healthier/better for you but eating a fast food burger is better than eating nothing. In fact, there are studies that show that the way we perceive our food effects the way our bodies respond to those foods (specifically ghrelin aka the hunger hormone - just look up the "mind over milkshakes" experiment, here is a very simplified overview of it here but you can find longer more detailed reviews with more thorough explanations of the results). So labeling foods as "bad" can actually be more detrimental. And removing certain foods you love or enjoy actually tends to have the opposite effect. You then become out of control with those foods. For example, if you like ice cream but never let yourself eat it or keep it in the house because its "bad" then when you do finally have some you feel completely out of control with it and often overeat. Which can start a negative cycle of negativity towards yourself for "lack of self-control" when in reality, its the overabundance of control around food that causes that behavior. When I finally quit dieting I had this problem with so many foods that I never allowed myself. And in order to reverse this you just have to let yourself eat all the foods until they are no longer an issue. Now I always have ice cream in the house and I know I can eat it whenever I want. But you know what? I rarely do. So yes, "hiding bad foods" may seem like a good idea in the short term, it can actually make the way you handle and interact with those foods much worse in the future.

For anyone who wants more info on any of this there is a great and really entertaining book about it - it includes the milkshake study, The Minnesota Starvation Experiment, personal info, medical info, why you feel "addicted" to certain foods, etc. and it's honestly a funny read - its called "The F*ck It Diet" [website]

And this was not an accusation towards you, I find that many people don't realize or understand the impact that suggestions like these make. And as someone who struggled for 20+ years and only finally made it through about 1-2 years ago (I still struggle daily) I have a hard time biting my tongue when I read things like this. I WISH someone had said all these things to me back when it started. I wish I never tried to emulate a certain body type. I wish I realized that working out and eating for health and happiness will always be better than working out to obtain a certain body. Educating myself on nutrition, diet culture, exercise techniques, etc. has been so helpful and I wish I had all this info when young me thought if I just skipped the ice cream, if I just worked out for another hour, if I JUST ___ then I would be happy. My best advice if you want to start working out - explore your options, see what types of workouts you like and what you hate. The best workout you can do is the one you enjoy because its the one you are actually going to do. And I agree, start small. Don't overdo it out of the gate. Start trying new things and see what works for you and your body. For example I can't run because I have a bad knee but I love to take long walks. I also enjoy strength training but yoga is really not my jam. Finding what you like is honestly the best first step.

Sorry for the rant (and I hope it didn't feel like a lecture), its just something that I am very invested in and passionate about and don't want to see people go down the road I went.

@ anon thank you for pointing that out but I feel I must inform you that I never used the word bad in association to food within my post. Plus the advice I gave was also advice I got from my ex trainer. Putting away treats helps avoid overeating, notice I never mentioned you shouldn't indulge or ever labeled any food as bad. I've added a clarification to that suggestion since it seems you assumed something intensely toxic based on a simple suggestion of making treats harder to reach.

The idea behind that is making them difficult to reach will have you think twice on whether you truly need to have that treat or not. If you leave sweets readily available they can become an environmental cue and you're more likely to over eat.

Over eating sweets and less than ideal foods can cause health issues over time, needless to say so I disagree with you, I think the way you set up the kitchen is highly important as you can either create a harmonious, healthy environment or you can so create an environment where over eating and consuming unhealthy foods comes much easier. Again food affects your body directly so I think placing things carefully is important. This doesn't mean denying yourself things, it means focusing on being balanced.

If, for example, you consume a lot of Coca Cola and similar drinks don't expect to lose weight or have an improvement in health. You can absolutely enjoy it but in a balanced way to avoid damaging your health and packing on a lot of weight very fast.

Not to mention sugar in general is extremely damaging to health, there's a reason professionals recommend consuming it very little.

As for the priming part, I've also amended that though I never said people should compare their bodies or anything like that, that's toxic. I said use images to prompt your mind to remember to exercise but I suppose I did fail to add details so I've added a little explanation with that. Priming pertains to NLP and is far from toxic. But you're right, if someone approaches weight loss in a highly toxic way they can absolutely use images to their detriment just as they can use any specific weight loss aspect to their detriment and create a self sabotage circle. This is why it's important to approach weight loss only after fully accepting and loving your body as it is. Dieting doesn't work because the focus isn't on increasing well being, it's on making your current body wrong and fighting that. Whereas the anon had a very healthy approach, they appreciate their body as it is and only want to get fitter, they are looking to enhance their wellbeing.

Also, there's absolutely nothing wrong with setting goals as long as they are realistic and as long as the focus is on wellbeing.

Seems like you had a lot of hardship regarding weight loss so I appreciate you sharing your perspective as I am sure a lot of people can relate.

As for eating disorders, it's important to investigate the mother-daughter link first and foremost as those issues stem from trauma within that bond.

Sorry if I made no sense but I couldn't sleep last night and I am fairly tired this morning. 😴

[spectrumed]

4. body

Do I have body issues? Well... yeah. Who doesn’t? I absolutely do not like being fat, that’s something I’d change about me. And I probably should bulk up a little, go to the gym. My diet isn’t terrible, I don’t eat any fast food, but I could still always eat healthier. More greens, less beans. But most of all, my biggest body issue is that I don’t really associate myself with my body. My mind feels disconnected from my body. The day scientists invent a way for us all to live as brains in jars on wheels, I’m there standing in line for a chance to become all cerebral. Being physical, it’s just so messy, so awkward, so uncomfortable. You feel pain, you feel embarrassment, you feel horny. Nothing good comes from having a body. If you were just a brain, you could go on thinking and calculating and just generally having a good mental time. Or you’d start feeling suffocated and trapped trying to move your limbs and realising that they have been all chopped off. Hmm… Maybe it’s more complicated than I initially thought.

I don’t understand people who enjoy physical activities. Let it be clear before we delve into this long rant of mine complaining about all things gymnastic, this is not particularly an autistic trait. In fact, there are plenty of autistic people who may excel as athletes, their drive and obsessive personality traits becoming quite useful in developing that discipline that is required to fully commit to becoming an all-star jock. Not all autistic people are reprehensible nerds. Some autistic people are actually quite sexy. Some even have abs. But that’s not me. That’s not my clan of autistic people. I like drawing maps. I like thinking about things. I like making cocktails. The only part of my physical body that I like to put strain on is my liver. Don’t make me go on a run. There isn’t an armchair in this world that I wouldn’t want to sit down in, even the ones that used to be owned by old chain-smokers that have that awful aroma that sneaks into your nostrils and makes you worry about second-hand lung cancer. Sitting is great. I like sitting. Also lying down. Lying down is good.

Am I lazy? No, I don’t think so. Maybe a little, but here’s the thing. I can’t control the things I obsess over. There’s a great deal of overlap between autism spectrum disorder and attention deficit disorder. If you’re reading this and you’re a fellow friend on the spectrum, you may have gotten diagnosed with both. One of those rare times in my life I have attended group therapy, more than half the group were diagnosed with both. I, however, am not. But seeing as the two conditions are so intertwined, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that a facet of autism involves difficulties in trying to focus on something, or even trying not to focus on something too hard. If you were to judge my tenacity, my ability to keep going, based solely on how I perform during physical tasks, you’d think I was the least resolute person on the planet. But then you’ll find me, some time later, staying up until four in the morning drawing another map. A map that’s really just a different take on another map that I drew earlier, that itself was a reworked version of a previous map that I drew but didn’t like, that actually began as a second iteration of one map I drew that was actually wholly different, that was based on a map of Europe but if Denmark never existed. How many maps have you drawn Fred? Why don’t you go mind your own business, you nosy ferret.

The DSM-5 (the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. You can think of it as something akin to a bible of psychology, which is definitely an inflammatory way to refer to it, but I’m gonna go with it! Because I’m a wildcard, and that’s just how I roll,) includes this section as part of its diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorder.

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

Now, I personally don’t relate to that at all. There’s nothing abnormal in my intense love for maps. The fact that maps aren’t as widely cherished as they ought to be is a fault of others, and I refuse to acknowledge that this may be a part of my character that could be perceived as quirky, or out of the ordinary. But, still, for the sake of argument, let’s presume that I can get, at times, excessively circumscribed. I’d like to say that I’ve only ever engaged in excessive circumscribing in my privacy away from onlookers, but I am afraid that I may have allowed some of my excessive circumscribing to happen in public. I definitely do apologise for that. I will try to do better in the future. But you never know when you’re about to experience some excessive circumscribing. The best you can do is keep it limited.

I don’t know how neurotypicals work. So, you don’t feel these kinds of obsessions? These moments of intense focus? These fixations? Then, you lack passion? Are you heartless? Soulless? Or are you just weak? Are you too feeble to hold steadfast working on a project all night long? To lose touch with your sense of hunger, your need for sleep, and all contact with any other human person? My fixations may come across as strange, but to me, your lack of fixations come across as bizarre. The world is endlessly fascinating. Have you never felt that compulsion to just fully immerse yourself in a topic that allows you to forget about your physical body for just that moment in time? The body cannot hold me. I wish to absorb as much information as I can. If I could astral project, by gods, I would astral project. To decouple your consciousness from your mushy brain for just that little bit, to go soaring across the landscapes, to explore the cosmos, just free of all things corporeal, that would be swell. How terrible isn’t it, when you’re deep in research, learning all about the mystical religious practices of the long-dead hierophants of the ancient world, to be drawn back into the present by the sudden need to urinate? There is something so dreadfully mundane about possessing a human body. If only we could all be celestial beings allowed to just be without the biological needs associated with having flesh and blood and bone and bladders.

I am not religious, nor am I spiritual. I do not believe that there is an immaterial world that lies above the material. I do not believe there is an astral plane. I think that one of the terrifying things about living is knowing that we do not possess such a thing as an eternal soul, that all things are temporal, and that ultimately, we have to come to terms with that. It’s not so terrible. In some ways, the temporal nature of life can be its biggest blessing. All things must pass. Sure, that does include the good times, like that vacation you spent as a child wishing that it would never end. But it also includes the bad times. The heartbreak you feel from a failed relationship. The grief you feel after the passing of a parent. The depression some of us are burdened with. Some days are worse than others. But they too will pass. One of the remarkable things about the human body is its ability to bounce back from injury. To change and evolve in ways we sometimes find unthinkable. The brain, likewise, is transformational, capable of incredible developments. We’re not fixed in stone. We’re not eternal. Which is a good thing. It is what allows recuperation and progress. I should be thankful to my body for being there, even when I’m not. After all, isn’t your body your temple?

I am able-bodied. Am I disabled? There’s naturally a lot of questions that surround how we ought to understand mental illness or neurodiversity in regards to disability. Does autism spectrum disorder count as a disability? Well, yes, it can be considered a learning disability. It is certainly something of a handicap, you are experiencing struggles that most people don’t experience. But to your average layperson, your typical dullard who spends their time watching reality TV, drinking beer, and being happy, what counts as a disability to them? Would they see me and think I was disabled? I’m not in a wheelchair. I don’t walk with a cane. Though I will occasionally “stim,” make small repetitive moments with my hands or legs, I do not exhibit any kind of physical symptoms. If I told them that I was disabled, they’d scoff and tell me that I’m just making it up for attention. They’d say I’m probably just trying to mooch off the government, scoring welfare checks while doing nothing to contribute to society. I’ve got all my limbs. I am not sickly. I am actually quite strong, due to being a big and tall man, I am able to carry quite the load. So, I have no reason to not be a fully productive member of society, right? And yet, here I am, feeling at most times utterly perplexed by anything physical. Probably because I am just lazy, right?

I don’t think laziness is a thing. What is laziness supposed to actually be? Tiredness? If a person is perpetually tired, then they’ve likely got a sleep disorder. To call them lazy would be callous. There are plenty of overworked people that get called lazy, especially by tyrannical overseers who think of their charges as mere workhorses whose only purpose in life is to toil away in the factory until the day they die. Intolerable parents who see their terminally sullen child and instead of wondering what is making them so upset decide to deride them for their lack of ambition. Are you lazy when you are procrastinating? No you are just being a tad irresponsible, maybe, deciding to skip out on chores in order to play video games or masturbate. But you’re not just doing nothing. People generally don’t enjoy doing nothing. We need something to occupy ourselves, to fill that vacuum we all feel whenever we’re just sitting still. I am someone who appears to be comfortable just sitting still, but that’s because I’ve learned, since a very young age, to entertain myself with my own thoughts. To fantasise, to daydream, to do anything I can to escape from the void that is doing absolutely nothing. Boredom, that’s terrible. Boredom is existential dread. Of all the motivations that drive humans, love, spite, jealousy, or pride, I think the need to evade boredom is one of the most prevalent. Humans would rather experience electric shocks than sit alone in a room being bored.

I am not lazy, I am merely… excessively circumscribed. For as much as this may be a specific diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorder, I think it is also a common trait amongst all humans. There will always be within us a pull to do something other than the thing that we’re really supposed to be doing, that does not make us lazy, that just makes us terrified of boredom. Sure, you know that you’re supposed to mow the lawn, but that's just so dreadfully tedious, you just would rather be working on perfecting your new stand-up comedy routine. Thinking up jokes to tell on stage is so much more stimulating than cutting grass. And who cares if your lawn grows a little wild? Lawns are a scam, imposed by fascists to make us think grass in its natural state is ugly. All grass is beautiful, whether it is cut short or it is allowed to grow long. Do the thing that fulfils you. Allow yourself to become immersed in passion, to forget about those things that hold you back, the little silly things we’ve convinced ourselves is important. Stay up late, if you wish. You’re gonna kill it on open mic night, bud!

Yes, it is a problem when your obsessions grow so singular that you forget to feed yourself. When you forget personal hygiene, when you become trapped in your own apartment looking like some feral rodent caught in a cage. Like always, the key is moderation, and I know that from time to time, you may have to entertain a boring task or two. Clean your room, brush your teeth, trim your pubic hair, try to give an impression that you are taking care of yourself. If for anyone, do it for your mother. She will be happy seeing you looking like a civilised individual, wearing clean clothes and not looking malnourished. But don’t ever chastise yourself for being lazy. Laziness is a sin that we’re all guilty of, and if we’re all guilty of it, is it really a sin? Or is it just part of what it means to be a human? To be a messy creature made out of flesh and blood and bone and the occasional bladder. In the end, I’m more happy than displeased at having a body. It’d be much harder to type on a keyboard if I didn’t have fingers.

Still, I wish I wasn’t fat.