#I guess it could be argued the how like bad the sins are but... some are definitely... Not great...

[butterrdream]

What sins does Apple commit? I mean this in a positive way but she seems like the innocent/naive girly type?

Hello, anon!!

So I can’t go into too much detail because it’s spoilers (and god please believe me when I say I’m gonna eventually write and post In Somnis 😭 if not I’ll just release a long post with all the spoilers one day or something lol) but Apple does so many things that are!! Not great!! In fact a large majority of my OCs (and even some canon characters!) in In Somnis make some very questionable decisions and choices that are meant to be analyzed and picked apart and not seen in just a black or white, “good” or “bad” manner! (except [Redacted] does do some pretty fucked up stuff that’s hard to justify lol). I personally like to write my characters to have many facets to them and not all of those qualities they may have will be good or likable! Honestly, if I were to give a very brief one-sentence summary of In Somnis it would be “selfish people do selfish things the story”

As of right now, obviously, I can’t reveal the exact details of what Apple does but some of them are pretty questionable! I guess it’s only natural right now she comes off as just the innocent or naive type since a lot of what I’ve been sharing is the spoiler free ship/fluff posts but I hope over time I can show off the many sides of her both good and bad!

[willothewispwisteriadawn]

Charles is both an abuser and a victim, and I think this is important for reading the other characters.

I think sometimes when I talk about Francis and Charles as characters it comes across like I think Francis was the worst one and that Charles did nothing wrong, and that’s really not the case. It’s more that I feel that fandom tendencies make the discussions about them just inaccurate? And my thoughts here are not about memes and silly posts purposely woobifying characters. It’s like based on… legit theories and fanfics that weirdly depict the characters.

I think my issue with the Charles discourse is how much Charles is seemingly held up as a scapegoat so people can safely adore other characters in the book. And it’s all just inaccurate to what happened. For example, the concept that Henry was benevolently trying to swoop in to rescue Camilla from Charles is something I see framed a lot. And that phrasing of it seems more intended to be ship fodder than anything because that’s honestly a really watered concept of what happened, in my reading. Charles did wrong, but that doesn’t mean Henry was just the good guy in the situation. He definitely had selfish motives; he wanted Camilla, and it wasn’t pure saviorhood. If it were, he wouldn’t have antagonized/pressured Charles into insanity and kept him drunk on purpose. Camilla wanted Charles to get better— she said so. But Henry convinced Francis and Richard to keep Charles intoxicated. And he didn’t tell Camilla that Charles was still drinking.

(Side thing, this also indicates Francis could be wrong that Charles is faking memory loss— either by genuine mistake or because he’s wants Richard to feel sorry for him. I guess we can’t know for sure, but we have it presented as valid by Camilla and not by Francis).

Anyway, this isn’t exactly honest, helpful behavior on Henry’s part. And Camilla definitely wasn’t ok with everything he was doing. He lied, at least by omission, to her.

It’s very likely Henry intimidated Francis when he visited Camilla (Francis seemed rattled and said Henry wouldn’t leave the room), and I suspect he said things to Francis when they were alone before Richard called about finding Charles in the snail. This is why Francis echoed Henry’s bullshittery about detoxing being bad. I do think Camilla wanted to date Henry and that she asked him for help— their relationship had been going on the whole book— but it’s also highly implied she was wary of some of his behaviors and that she wouldn’t have wanted her brother to get murdered. I think Henry did help Camilla. But I also think his manipulative actions show that his motives were self-serving and that, by the end of the book, he’s using violence as his modus operandi. Henry is a pretty horrible guy. He has a sort of joking coldness about Bunny’s death as well as the death of the dog he killed, and he openly admits to not caring much for others. He’s a super incredible character, and I do find him charming and fascinating. But I feel like I’ve seen this whole situation with Charles become about how Henry just adored Camilla so much and was willing to protect her from evil. I’ve even seen it insinuated that everything Henry did from the start of the novel was really just to liberate Camilla. As if he isn’t a selfish bastard who did the bacchanal as means to rid himself of his conscience so he can do what he wants (again, from his own mouth).

Henry himself was clearly— and by his own intention, I argue— a factor in Charles’s insanity and using Charles’s sins to his advantage. Just because Charles was rotten doesn’t mean he’s at fault for the entirety of what happened. It doesn’t mean that he wasn’t used too. He was bad but also really sick. Henry and Francis both knew this and manipulated it. Again, it’s not that he’s innocent, it’s more that the conversation around him often becomes about acquitting other, more beloved characters by invoking the name of Charles for everything. But Henry’s motives for the bacchanal were selfish and Francis was a spineless manipulator at points.

(Hopefully I’m not strawmanning people here!!! I think it’s easy to find fake groups of people to argue with in posts like these. And I admit fault if I’ve been taking theories and posts I see too seriously, but this is my issue with a few specific theories I have seen that seem to depict Francis as too inculpable and Henry as too selflessly in love)

[spiegelgestalt]

Timebomb feelings because of the Arcane trailer for season 2

So I just saw the arcane trailer for season 2. It's great. I'm so excited. (so sad that Victor and Jayce died in the explosion quite an apprupt ending for them i guess... /s)

but what i really want to talk about is these two pictures:

Because it got me thinking. One of the interesting aspects of the Jinx/Ekko relationship is that they are able to communicate through other means than direct words. And that they are able to create a different image for each other.

Long and rambly explanation under the cut, which got away from me and can be summarized with: Jinx makes Ekko more violent and Ekko makes Jinx more heroic and they love each other your honor and i want to see a team up in season 2:

Song:

Jinx has a few songs (Guns for hire, goodbye, What could have been) but they are usually solos. They are usually melodic rock. And they usually concentrate on how much Jinx was wronged.

And than there is Dynasties and Dystopia. On first watch i thought it was an Ekko song. It's after all in his style (both in animation as in genre) but some words don't quite fit:

"I might just might kick your butt Go run amok then paint my nails Never learned to raise my hand Was too busy raising hell Everything I know I am You should go and save yourself Thought you had my number, huh Congratulations, you played yourself"

this just screams jinx to me. Ekko has yet to run amok. Jinx does it all the time. I don't even know what Ekko's nails look like, but we have several distinct shots of Jinxs' blue and pink nails; Ekko doesn't raise hell, if he's raising something it's paradise. And the line "you should go and save yourself" is a good continuation/rejection of the one thing Jinx says in this fight: Look who it is - the boy savior -> go save yourself! And it forshadows the way jinx will be able to get just a loss instead of a total defeat (look she was defeated- in the aftermath Ekko had a hurt leg, while Jinx needed to be revived with terrible magic drugs there is a clear winner here). Ekko thinks he has jinx figured out but he hasn't and thats why he will hesitate in the end.

But i would also argue that not all of the song is jinx:

Ooh, yeah, he mad I'm racking up white diamonds Throw me in the sky You would swear the sun shining Ooh, yeah, he mad I'm racking up white diamonds Throw me in the sky You would swear the sun shining

this verse is both of them: Basically they are saying: Look how great i'm doing (lie) Aren't you mad about it? (They will never beat the allegation that they are bitter exes.)

And I'd argue that this is Ekkos verse:

In this gothic underground city We all sin If I bring a couple rounds with me Then we all win I came back and brought the crown with me The king's den Break your nexus and your neck 'cause Everybody's on your head

and interestingly enough it's an offer. This makes sense with the visual. Encouraged through Vi who insists that Powder is still in there somewhere Ekko conjures a situation wich is similar to their old games. And it works: It's the only time Powder appears as her young self on screen. And so Ekko makes an offer he probably made before: Trust me, back down, i can help:

He starts with: We all make mistakes - one of the things that bind Powder to the Jinx personality is her guilt over having killed her entire family. But Ekko doesn't blame Jinx he blames their circumstances (something he also does in his Zaun-duet misfit toys)

If i bring a couple rounds with me, then we all win -> this foreshadows his timetravel ability. And even if he doesn't has it at this point this whole scene breaks down time itself so it still works in my head. Ekko brings the crown with him (the hextech-crystal) and he warns Jinx that everyone is going after her.

And the second refrain which I'd argue both sing once again:

Hold still while I bag that, uh Talk bad 'til I snap back, uh This ain't brown, this that dark black This that pitch black, jet black Snap yo' ex watch me give him flashbacks

Meaning: keep still, i've got this, just trust me dude!

This song shows that Ekkos and Jinx's disagreement is far more similar to the disagreement between Vander and Silco than to the disagreement between Vi and Jinx. Vi and Jinx' disagreement is personal. Vi rejects everything jinx has become and just wants her "sweet" little sister back - Ekkos and Jinx's disagreement is political. They disagree about the question what is best for Zaun. AND I'd also argue the Ekko is far less surprised by the jinx personality. He knew Powder was a bit of a shithead. He's just pissed that she's working for Silco.

Well let's finally get to these two pictures:

We see Ekko and we see Jinx drawn as hero of the resistance in Ekkos style* (compare the mural to the video of misfit toys) We know that Jinx gave Ekko a definition that didn't suit him by creating the firefly bombs and recasting him as a terrorist. And know we see Ekko who maybe drew this picture of jinx recreating her from a terrorist into a hero of Zaun.

(see me get proven wrong in the first episode of arcane season 2...)

[aspartameabuser69]

actually nevermind please ignore my question about the greyscales

I think I’ll just put why the greyscales are so bad in case some people don’t know:

all the characters are basically the same colors with the same values, most of the characters have very different backstories and suns that got them sent to hell but are all just r e d. it’s all just darker red clothes, some white, yellow and light grey/white faces (even if they’re supposed to be POC but okay…) It speaks to a larger issue in Vivziepop’s designs is how similar they looks even they’re supposed to be different. Alastor and Vox for an example, I would say Vox’s design is a bit better because he has more colour variation (though the values are still similar to other characters). I suppose you could argue they’re supposed to look like that because rivals matching but they’re supposed to mirror each other not just be the same character recoloured with a different head. All of Viv’s POC characters also have the issue that of literally having no ethnic features, also people can be POC but “look white” BUT it’s an issue when all her POC have literally no ethnic features, I guess Sera might have dreadlocks? If you squint? In heaven they’re all blue and white, and in hell they’re all red, black, white, yellow, and grey. And sometimes green, pink, or green if you’re lucky. Also the only character you can really consider fat is Mimzy, and Mammon but he just looks like he’s wearing big clothes. Both of those characters are also money hungry greedy antagonists (Mammon is the sin of greed for fucks sake). The rest of her characters are slim thick who exist only as accessories for the male characters and exist on shitty merch. Her designs fucking suck is what I’m trying to say. Also if there are grammar or misspellings I am not going to proofread this post and I’m writing this on mobile lol.

[cosmic--dandelion]

So how did we get from this

Dedicated to his Worshippers, George Frederic Watt (1817-1904)

To this?

A brief history of Mammon

Addendum Because We Can't Have Nice Things: this essay is in no way meant to be a "critique", criticism, or personal attack against Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel/Vivziepop as I am, in fact, a big fan of all three! I actually loved the newest episode and Mammon as a character. Seeing him in motion, I think he looks damned near perfect as a modern take on the King of Greed. I wrote this ONLY for educational purposes.

Mammon is a Chaldee (the Semantic language of ancient Chaldeans, the people of a small Mesopotamian country who were later absorbed by the Babylonians) or Syriac word meaning "wealth" or "riches".

The Worship of Mammon, Evelyn De Morgan (1909)

He is best remembered from the Sermon on the Mount from Mathew 6: 24 (King James version): “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”

Some scholars believe Mammon might have been loosely based on Dīs Pater, originally a Roman God of mineral wealth and fertile lands who was later merged with the chthonic deities of the underworld Pluto and Orcus (because minerals come from underground). Pluto was depicted in the Divine Comedy as "wolflike demon of wealth"; wolves in the medieval times were symbols of greed. Others think he might have been an ancient Syrian god, though no trace of his cult or temples exists.

Mammon transformed over time from an abstract concept to major demon. This is thanks to later philosophers and theologians such as Saint Gregory of Nyssa, a third century Byzantine scholar, Archbishop of Constantinople John Chrysostom, and Peter Lombard, bishop of Paris from 1159 to 1160. His book of Four Books of Sentences (Sententiarum libri IV) was the standard theological text of the Middle Ages.

Mammon was assigned the sin of greed according to the Peter Binsfield classification of demons.

John Milton of Paradise Lost fame imaged him as a fallen angel. He is described as being stooped over (literally the "least erected" of Lucifer's demonic host) because he always has his eyes downward looking for gold and would rather use Hell's resources to finance his lavish lifestyle than wage war against Heaven.

In Edmund Spenser's 16th long poem, The Faerie Queene, Mammon is a “uncouth, salvage, and uncivile wight” who sets up his cave of riches right next to the entrance to the underworld. Subtle, huh? He tries to tempt Sir Guyon, the protagonist of Book II, with all his fabulous wealth, arguing that he could use it for good. (This is a religious-moral-political allegory about temperance, so you can guess how well that went.) He shows up again in Jacques de Plancy's Dictionnaire Infernal as Hell's ambassador to England. Yes, really.

Just like in Biblical times, reformists used Mammon as a symbol of exploitation and unfettered capitalism during the industrial age.

Fun fact: Mr. Burns lives at the corner of Croesus and Mammon street.

So how does Vivziepop's version compare to the historical Mammon? I dunno, he hasn't appeared in the show yet. It's not my favorite design, but I like the fact that half the fandom was expecting him to be the Big Bad of Helluva Boss, and he's a just big heckin' chonk who sort of looks like a demented Dr. Suess character crossed with a demonic air freshener. It's a silly design for a silly dude, but he could be more dangerous than he looks...

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

🔱 On the Beach Chapter Two

On The Beach: Orm has spent the last year staying with you, Arthur’s best friend. Part of his sentence is to learn about surface dweller culture from a surface dweller, and try to understand that not everyone above the waves is bad. With the year up, and Orm comfortable with a lifestyle that consisted of just you and him, how will he feel when his half brother shows up, and jealousy rears its ugly head? To put it simply, not very well..

Warnings: Language.

To Note: Orm Marius x NAMED!FEMReader, dividers by @firefly-graphics.

Word Count: ~4.7k

Previous | Masterlist

A hand was lightly running up and down your back, stroking your skin and tracing the ridges of your spine as you snoozed. It totally felt like yet another lazy day of sleeping in, soft sheets beneath your body and a warm body wrapped around your side, keeping you at the perfect temperature. You were still locked in a dream that involved a talking cat and some quest to fulfill before ice cream mountain melted.

You guess you had been craving a lot of ice cream lately because all you could think about was Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food. That and the Bay Shack fried clams, something about fish and shellfish just sounded really good lately which was odd because you were never a huge seafood fan. Practically a sacrilege in a fishing village but that was just how you felt.

Maybe it was a side effect of spending so much time near Orm, he had finally rubbed off on you.

“Beloved, you need to get up,” Orm’s masculine yet dulcet voice reached your ears shortly before he was pressing his sinful lips against your bare shoulder, his hand slipping from underneath your tank top to brush your hair clear from his path. Groaning out softly as he pressed a trail of kisses across your shoulder and then up your neck, his lips made your skin prickle.

“Don’t wanna,” you moaned out, trying to edge away from his teasing and tickles while burying your face further into your pillow. “I’m too comfortable.”

“You promised you would meet Mrs. Johnston at nine to discuss the tagging station.” Orm reminded you, nuzzling his face further into your neck as his hand carved a path over your side and slipped to where your tank top was bunched up. His fingers caressed your stomach and became very distracting, practically making it nearly impossible to try to fall back asleep.

Groaning in exaggerated misery, you swatted at the teasing hand on your stomach before reaching over and throwing the covers off your legs. Pulling yourself free from Orm’s arms, you sat on the edge of the edge of the bed and ran your fingers through your hair, getting out the knots and snares.

Now slightly more awake, your stomach rolled and twisted just like it did every other day. Wonderful, you would have thought you’d be over this annoying stomach bug by now, it was hard enough to keep it from Orm. You loved him, but you swear he takes overprotective to the next level.

Dropping your hand from your hair, you leaned back to look at Orm who was still lounging on his side, although he now had his head propped up as he gazed at you. How could one person look so hot just lying there?

“What is it?” Orm asked, his eyebrow rising elegantly with his question. Letting out a small huff, you leaned back and ran your fingers down the side of his face.

“It’s unfair at how handsome you are,” you told him with a smile. “And I constantly wonder how I ended up yours.”

“Do I need to remind you?” Orm countered, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he turned his head and pressed his lips against your fingers. Your face heated up at the memory two months ago. Arguing after Orm got huffy about your friendship with Arthur, then making out in the sand, then Orm feasting like a king, and then…

“No, no, I don’t need to be reminded,” you answered in a strained voice, your face slowly turning red as his smirk grew wider. “I remember quite clearly thank you very much, and now that we’ve cleared that, I need to hop in the shower.”

Pulling your body from the bed, you raised your arms above your head and stretched, enjoying the feeling of stretching your arms and shoulders out. Lowering your arms, you let out a yawn as you headed for the bathroom, oblivious to the fact that you were giving Orm a full view of your cheeky underwear.

Since indicated night of which you will not be speaking of, Orm and you had been sharing your bed. As it turned out, he was a big cuddler and had no issues making that clear to you. You didn’t explicitly say you’re dating, but at this point, you were fairly sure you were more than just dating given the Atlantean culture and views on ‘dating’ in general.

Considering his upbringing, he wasn’t exactly a PDA type of man, but he did like to let others know you were taken, and that meant hand-holding, opening doors for you, maybe a little too much hovering when another man was around you, and the occasional death glare. But when it was just the two of you, he was a hands-on type of man. It was like he was rewarding himself for keeping his hands to himself. You weren’t going to complain, his arms wrapped around your body was literally the best thing you had ever felt.

Stripping out of your tank and underwear, you quickly hopped in the shower and started washing your hair. You were nearly finished rinsing the shampoo from your hair when a wave of nausea hit you. Putting a hand over your mouth, you leaned forwards and pressed your forehead into the cool tile of the shower, counting slowly to ten in your head.

You could not throw up. You would not throw up. You will not throw up.

The wave of nausea passed and you let out a deep breath, glad you didn’t have to scramble for the toilet and have Orm wondering why you were throwing up, and go all Ocean Master on you because it was entirely unacceptable that you were sick and not feeling well. Taking a deep breath, you finished your shower and wrapped yourself up in a towel.

Walking back into the bedroom, you saw Orm propped up against the headboard, book in hand. Smiling at the sight, you turned to the dresser and started riffling through its contents for an outfit to wear. Orm was developing an appreciation for Surface Dweller literature, so you often made trips to the local library to check out several books.

Deciding to go with a navy suit today, you grabbed your white set of lace underwear and bra. Your meetings with Mrs. Johnston about the tagging station up north required you to be dressed more formally, even if it was only going to be a fifteen-minute talk. Doing a quick dry of your body, you tossed the towel onto the bed and shimmied your underwear up your legs before hooking your bra on.

“Don’t forget that you are going fishing with Tom today,” you said as you took out your navy pencil skirt and pulled it up your hips. Orm, who had been quietly watching you get dressed, raised a blond eyebrow.

“You needn’t worry, Beloved, I have not forgotten.” Orm replied with a smile. “Mother is dropping by while we are out, I believe she wants to further bond with you.”

“If you want to call it that,” you huffed with a small laugh before grabbing a white blouse with button on the upper half and shoving your arms through the sleeves. “It’s just female time, nothing too extravagant, we both need to escape the testosterone somehow.”

Orm’s lips twitched but he remained silent as you quickly buttoned the top few buttons, leaving a few undone, and stuffing the ends of the shirt into your skirt. Today was a special kind of day, Orm was going out with Tom, who he had a mutual respect for now, while Atlanna and you would spend a day without men around. Tonight, you were planning on meeting up with Arthur and Mera to eat at a restaurant.

Now that things were calming down, Arthur and Orm were trying to make things work between them, and they both made sure to visit their mother every few months. You were looking forward to hearing more stories about Atlantis from Atlanna, and Orm was looking forward to getting out on the water.

It was a win-win scenario.

Grabbing your matching navy blazer, you folded it across your arm before dipping your feet into your plain black heels and walking over to where Orm lounged.

“I won’t be long, I think we still have leftover pancakes in the fridge if you’re interested in those for breakfast.” you told him with a smile before leaning over and kissing him. “I’ve got my cell on me, you need anything just give me a ring.”

“Only if you promise to be safe,” Orm countered, just like he always did when you left the house.

“I’m always careful,”

“We will agree to disagree on that statement then,” Orm huffed as you drew back. “Stubborn woman,”

“Mmh, your stubborn woman, may I remind you.” you grinned back as you shifted the blazer over your arm. That brought a smile to his lips. He always liked it when you reminded him that you were his, and his alone. With a smile on your lips, you headed out to take care of the one piece of business you had today.

Driving back from Perry, the town where the tagging station was located, you were glad to have a moment of peace in terms of your nausea. It was becoming clear that you weren’t going to be able to hide this from Orm much longer; he wasn’t an idiot. Your only option at this point was to talk to Atlanna and hopefully gain some motherly insight on what you should do, especially considering how protective Orm is.

She was used to dealing with stubborn, obstinate Atlantean men; if anyone could help you out, it was her. Turning into Amnesty Bay, you drove through the town as you wound your way back up to your house. Parking your car out front of your house, you pulled the keys from the ignition before sliding out of your seat.

Closing the car door, you made your way up the paved path to your front door; by now Tom and Orm would be out fishing, and Atlanna would be reading in your living room. Just as expected, Atlanna was sitting on your couch reading one of the Lord of the Rings books.

“Good morning,” you greeted with a big smile as you set your purse and keys down on a side table. Atlanna looked up from the book with a big smile.

“Eva, it is good to see you again! I have missed your company.” Letting out a small laugh, you saw down in your armchair.

“I think I’ve missed being around females in general,” you chuckled back before running a hand through your hair. “Atlanna… can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course, you can talk to me about anything… is everything alright with Orm?” Atlanna asked, her eyes scanning you. “You look fatigued, are you feeling unwell?”

“Kind of, I wanted to ask what is the best way to break it Orm that I’m not feeling well without him going all Ocean Master on me and refusing to let me leave the house until I’m feeling better,” you explained as you twisted your fingers together.

“Darling, Orm is going to be protective no matter how you break the news to him,” Atlanna told you, which made you let out a small groan. “You aren’t sick with something serious though, are you?”

You shrugged in response.

“You— I don’t really know what’s going on with me, yeah I’ve been dealing with some sort of stomach bug, but that’s not all that’s bothering me,” you admitted, chewing on your lip. “I mean does living with an Atlantean affect a surface dweller? Because I’ve been craving a lot of fish lately, and I used to hate it… and I’ve discovered I like swimming and can hold my breath a lot longer than I used to. It’s all so confusing, the water around here isn’t warm enough for someone like me to tolerate swimming around, I’d get hypothermia.”

Your fingers wrung together as you shook your head.

“I feel like I’m going crazy, and every day that goes by where I’m hiding it from Orm makes me feel like I’m betraying him.” Atlanna reached over and took one of your hands, unweaving your jumble of fingers.

“Deep breaths, Eva,” Atlanna said softly as she gently squeezed your hands. That’s when you realized you had worked yourself up in a matter of seconds. Nodding your head, you took a few slow breaths.

“Sorry, I just— I really want Orm to know that he can depend on me to always be honest with him and that I will never keep secrets from him, but I don’t want him worrying.”

“This isn’t anything to worry about, Eva,” Atlanna reassured you gently; your eyebrow rose up.

“You know what this is? Is it Atlantean related? Is it temporary?” you questioned in rapid succession. She chuckled at you before brushing your hair behind your ear.

“Oh your condition isn’t anything to worry about, Eva, quite the opposite, and it would explain why you are craving fish, and are adapting to the water,” she said with a warm smile.

“What is it then?” you questioned, your eyes searching hers. “Did I get some weird Atlantean cooties from Orm or something?”

“If you want to call a child cooties, then yes,” Atlanna replied with a light chuckle.

“Wait what?” you questioned, your brain thinking you had misheard her. Her smile grew and she took your hand with both of hers.

“You are pregnant, Eva, not sick, it isn’t anything to worry about.” That one word echoed in your mind, and a second later your face turning bright read. It was official, Atlanna knew you had slept with her son.

“I— but— how—“ you were floundering for words while your cheeks burned with heat and the Atlantean queen chuckled, patting the back of your hand.

“We are compatible, Arthur is proof of that.”

“I know but are you sure? How is it that I am gaining Atlantean abilities? I— I am one hundred percent surface dweller.”

“But the child you carry is not, and you two are connected.” You were shaking your head, your face still burning that brilliant shade and indicating your mortification.

“But we only— Atlanna I can’t be, I— Orm and I are just— oh hell Orm, what is he going to think? Wait, I might not be and maybe this is just some side effect?” You were blurting out every excuse your brain could think of while Atlanna let you deny it to your heart's content. “It was only one time, only one time…”

“There is one way to make sure,” Atlanna reminded you. “That is if you wish.”

You let out a stressed breath, trying to control your emotions and slight shaking. Nausea, vomiting, fatigue, cravings, mood swings, it all made sense, but the logical side of you needed hard proof.

“I guess that means I’ll be running up to the drug store,” you whispered out, your shoulders sinking in defeat.

“Would you like me to go with you?” Atlanna offered; you shook your head.

“No, I’ll be quick,” you told her before getting up. Retrieving your purse and car keys, you headed back out to pick up some pregnancy tests. Your hand was shaking when you tried inserting the key into the ignition, and it took a few tries before you fully got it in and started the car.

The entire drive to the nearest drug store you could feel your heart racing in your chest as the fight or flight mode kicked in. Pregnant. It just wasn’t something you had ever considered, especially considering Orm and you were from two different worlds. Yes, you loved him very much, and he acted like he loved you back, you were sure he loved you back. But throw a baby into that mix and you were in unknown waters.

Five minutes later you were in line to buy three pregnancy tests, maybe one too many, but you had to make sure. If one of them said yes, then you were. Paying for the tests, you scurried back out to your car and headed back to your house, feeling like you were sneaking around Amnesty Bay.

Entering your house, Atlanna and you looked over the three tests, reaching the directions of each of them. It seemed simple enough, pee on the sticks and then wait. With the three sticks clutched in your trembling fingers, you entered your half bath and followed the instructions. When you were done, you headed for the living room, setting them down on the coffee table before taking a seat and staring out the sliding glass doors.

You were afraid of what they would reveal.

Five minutes later you still refused to look at the tests, your hands forming little fists and resting on your knees as you stared vacantly out at the distant surf.

“Would you like me to check them for you?” Atlanna asked; your eyes which were prickling with tears turned her way.

“I don’t think I can stomach looking at them,” you told her quietly. A few moments went by.

“They are all positive,” you closed your eyes and felt a few tears run down your cheeks before you were dropping your head into your hands.

“Oh God, he’s not going to want it and he’s going to be so mad at me,” you moaned, digging your fingernails into your scalp. “What am I going to say to him?”

“Eva, dear,” Atlanna spoke, taking your hands from your hair. You lifted your head to look into her eyes. “Orm will not be mad, trust me, my son loves you very much, and if anything he will be elated by this news.”

“How do you know that?” She smiled down at you, brushing at your hair.

“Atlantean men do not lay with a woman unless they intend to spend the rest of their lives together.” She explained with a small chuckle. “My son is very much smitten with you Eva, you have nothing to worry about.”

“I still feel like my stomach is going to turn inside out,” you whispered, Atlanna only smiled before pulling you in for a hug.

It was later that night that the four of you, joined by Arthur and Mera, ate at one of the nicer restaurants in Amnesty Bay. Arthur had stared at you in surprise when you had ordered a very seafood-centric plate. You had given him a look and mumbled about Orm rubbing off on you.

From there you steered clear of the wine, and anything that you had learned pregnant women should avoid in the time you had before Tom and Orm had gotten back. Luckily, the conversation turned pleasant and you could relax, just enjoying sitting next to Orm partially in your own little world.

Unfortunately, when it came time for dessert, you had to forgo your favorite triple chocolate cake slice that you pretty much always go when you ate at this restaurant. Both Orm and Arthur had given you weird looks when you had refused dessert.

“Are you sure Eva?” Orm questioned, looking down at you with an inquisitive eyebrow raised. You gave him a smile and nodded.

“I’m full, no need to fill up on cake I don’t need,” you nervously laughed, waving a hand in the air. Orm wasn’t convinced, neither was Arthur, but they didn’t push it. “Enough about me, tell me how Atlantis is doing…”

That got Mera started on some new construction and laws that were taking place, which thankfully took the conversation and attention off you. Slumping back in your seat with a soft sigh, you rested your elbow on the table and dropped your cheek into your hand. Beneath the table, you felt a large warm hand take your free one you had resting on your thigh.

Your fingers curled around Orm’s larger ones as you kept your gaze on Mera talking animatedly about the project she was helping to manage. His thumb was gently stroking the palm of your hand, easing some of the jitters running through your body.

Well, so much for trying to go under the radar; Orm officially knew something was up with you but thank heavens the man wasn’t inclined to ask what it was while you were at dinner. You would have been mortified. Eventually, the meal finished up and the six of you were heading back to your house.

While Tom and Atlanna talked with Orm, Arthur, and Mera in your living room, you got a pot of coffee going. The smell of the coffee was absolutely divine, and yet torturous, caffeine was a no-go, and that meant no coffee for you, which was going to suck majorly. Muttering under your breath about the unfairness of it all, you grabbed a tray and pulled down five coffee cups. The coffee was dribbling away when Atlanna came walking into the kitchen.

“Here, let me take it,” Atlanna said before taking the tray from you. “I’m sure they are already suspicious enough as it is…”

“When do I tell him?” you questioned anxiously, wringing your fingers together before glancing at the kitchen drawer that held the positive tests.

“When you are ready, Eva, if you want to wait until everyone has left and it’s just you two, that is fine. You needn’t stress over it.”

“I—“ you stumbled out that one word before running a hand through your hair and fretting further. “Atlanna, he knows I’m hiding something from him, he knows. We’ve spent enough time around each other to pick up on those types of cues.”

“My son won’t just question you outright in front of the others, Eva, he won’t subject that to you.” Fidgeting where you stood you looked at the kitchen drawer once more. “Eva,” Your eyes flickered back to Atlanna. “No one is going to pressure you into telling, take your time.”

With that, she glided back towards the living room, coffee tray in hand. Biting down on your lips, you skittered over to the kitchen drawer and pulled it open. It was basically a drawer that held random bits and bobs, a few miscellaneous keys, nail clippers, a tape measure, a couple pens, and the positive pregnancy tests.

Just rip it off like a bandaid, Eva, there is plenty of time to wallow in self-misery later at his response.

Picking up the pregnancy tests, you stuffed them into your blazer pocket before heading after Atlanna. Entering the living room, you saw Tom fixing himself and Atlanna their coffee, Arthur drinking his straight black as usual, while trying to convince Mera to try the hot beverage, and Orm standing aloof, scowling at the tray with one remaining cup.

“Do you not want coffee?” you questioned him as you sidled up to him, pressing your sweaty palms into your skirt. “I can get you tea instead if that’s what you want…”

Orm turned his sharp blue eyes to you, and his scowl lightened up. He slipped an arm around your waist and pulled your body against his while looking deep into your eyes.

“Are you feeling unwell tonight?” He questioned vaguely. “You didn’t fix yourself a drink, and you’ve never refused to order your favorite cake…”

His voice was soft as were his questions and for only your ears to pick up on. Letting out a deep sigh, you slumped into his side and rested your head on his shoulder. How could he be so perfectly in tune with you?

“Hey Eva, you feeling okay?” Arthur spoke up, and turning your head to look at him, you saw that he was staring at you with a frown. “You haven’t been acting like yourself at all today; you never skip the wine and cake at The Oyster, and I have never seen you not fix yourself a mug of coffee.”

Your eye twitched in irritation at him for blatantly pointing it out. Orm might be a perfect gentleman, picking up on social cues, but Arthur… not so much. Tom, who probably figured your situation out the moment you refused the wine, sighed and shook his head at his son.

“Perfectly fine thank you very much, Arthur,” you responded crisply, giving him a look; he caught it, and in a couple of seconds, a light bulb went off in his head.

“Ohhhhh,” He dragged out, Mera elbowed him heavily in the side as you turned to look up at Orm.

“Can we talk?” You questioned him before nodding your head at the sliding glass doors. “Privately?”

“Of course, beloved,” Orm responded, his forehead crinkling slightly before he started leading you towards the indicated doors. The further you moved away from the cottage, the more it felt like your heart was going to beat right out of your chest. “Eva, you are practically shaking; whatever it is you are hiding from me, I promise you I won’t be mad.”

“It—“ You started, struggling to find the right words to say. “I don’t know how to tell you, and I’m afraid you will be mad.”

“Eva,” Orm said gently, turning to you and taking your cheeks in his hands. “There is nothing you could say that could make me mad at you, maybe hurt, but not mad.”

You could think of a few things that would make him so hurt he would be mad, but you weren’t going to bring that up. With a slightly shaking hand, you reached into your pocket and withdrew the two tests to bring them in front of you. Then ever so slowly, you turned your eyes down to look at them. Orm’s gaze followed until you were both looking at your trembling hand holding the tests.

Orm released your cheek with one hand and carefully steadied your shaking hand by taking your wrist. The plus sign and the word pregnant steadied and became readable.

“The answer to your question is,” you finally answered. “No, I have not been feeling well.”

The tests were pulled from your hands, and seconds later Orm was kneeling in the sand, his hands on your hips as he pressed his forehead against your still fairly normal stomach. Your hands hovered frozen near his head, not really knowing what to do.

“Orm, please say something.” You whispered, your anxiety at an all-time high.

“You being the mother of my child is the greatest gift you could have given me, Eva,” Orm replied softly, his fingers pulling your body further into his.

“Even if it’s a half breed?”

“It has your blood, Eva, that is more than enough for me.” Letting out a sigh of relief, you slipped your fingers into his hair. “Is this why you have been avoiding your favorite things?”

“Most of my favorite things are not good for a pregnant woman,” you explained while running your fingers through his soft hair. “That includes chocolate, wine, and coffee.”

“You had me worried, Eva,” Orm said giving you another squeeze. “I am relieved to know that you are not ill.”

“Tell that to the morning sickness,” you huffed underneath your breath before finding your feet leaving the sand as Orm stood up, his hands still on your waist. Wobbling around, you clutched at his neck as he started walking you back towards your cottage. “You say you’re the one lucky to have me, but sometimes I feel like I’m the lucky one.”

Orm looked into your eyes with a curve to his lips. You moved your left hand to hold his cheek, your fingers running along his skin.

“I don’t think I say it enough, but I love you,” you told him. “More than anything in the world.”

“I would repeat your words, but I’m afraid there might be something I will love more than you.” Orm returned quietly as he swung you up to cradle your body in his arms. You raised an eyebrow. “Our child, beloved, my love for our child might rival the love I have for you.”

“I think I’m okay with that.”

Date Published: 12/20/20

Last Edit: 4/28/24

Previous | Masterlist

[jacksfandomrandom]

I read one AU that was similar to my trans genderbend headcanon that it have me motivation to write this. That fic that inspired me was LuxTheChaotic's Genderbent series on AO3

How Eve Became Steve

Notes: Before I start, I'd just like to say that I do not wish to erase lesbians and or the sexuality. This will NOT be straightwashed either. Only genderbended. it's not sex-bended though because Vaggie will be a trans man and Charlie is a cis man in this AU. I am really sorry if this offensive.

Tw: t slur

Also this technically was requested by anayapookie on wattpad

Summary: Genderbend AU where Vaggie falls because they tried to tell Lute they were a man. Charles, the prince of hell, finds him and helps him recover from his injuries and start to socially transition.

Being an exorcist, Vaggie had lots of friends. Her fellow comrades and training partners were fun to hang around and joke with. Joining the army definitely helped her learn to socialize with fellow heaven-born. But everyone (in heaven at least) has that one friend that they can go to when they're struggling. In heaven, there's not many struggles though. Most of it would just be venting like about how you had to wait an hour in line at the zoo. However, Vaggie had Lute. They often comforted each other when things went bad. Their dorm rooms were right next to each other and they often had sleepovers when either of them was feeling lonely, couldn't sleep, or just wanted to goof off. They were good friends.

However, Vaggie had something she really needed to get off of her chest. It had been bothering her for a long time and she hated just keeping it all in. Lute was the only one she could trust. So one night after training, Vaggie pulled Lute away from the group preening.

"Vags, is something wrong?" Lute asked when she pulled away into an empty hallway in the dorms. She noticed that Vaggie seemed nervous or anxious.

"Um... yeah, kind of. I just... I really need to tell you something. It's something serious and important to me." Vaggie fidgeted with her fingers. It was a nervous habit that she often did.

"Alright," Lute simply said.

"B-but can you promise you won't be upset? Or mad?" Vaggie asked.

"Man, this must be serious if you want me to promise. But alright, I guess I can,"

After a long pause and a few deep breathes and hyping Vaggie up, She finally was able to tell Lute.

"Lute, I'm... I'm a boy," Vaggie disclosed. Lute waited for a second, hoping it was some kind of joke. Once she realized that she was in fact being serious, her emotions turned to shock and anger.

"No, you're not. God created you as a female," Lute argued, raising her voice a little.

Vaggie felt her heart drop. This wasn't supposed to happen. Lute was supposed to accept her and treat her as if she was a boy and help her transition. Maybe she could try to explain it to her a little more?

"B-but I don't feel female, Lute! I wanna be a boy! I want people to call me Vicky and He. I don't want boobs or these thighs. I want a boy's body!" Vag- no Vicky exclaimed. Lute couldn't even look at him. Her face was filled with disgust. Before Vicky could even say anything else, Lute summoned her sword and stabbed his eye out. Screams filled the dorms and people from the main common room came rushing into the hallway. Vicky fell to the ground, wailing in pain as blood streamed down his face.

"Sinful trannys like you have no place in heaven," Lute bellowed before grabbing his wings from his back and ripping them off. The torturous screams had almost made Lute feel pity, but the thought that her best friend turned out to be a sinful freak, overturned that pity.

Vicky couldn't see much, close to drifting off into unconsciousness due to the overwhelming pain from his mutilation. However, he managed to make out the first man Adam, emerging from the crowd. He shook his head in disappointment before snatching the halo from him and pushed Vicky into a portal leading to hell.

Charlie Morningstar, the prince of Hell was taking his evening walk around pentagram city, singing some musical tunes and overall just in a good mood. He tried to see the best in things. However, his cheerful singing was interrupted when he heard small cries and sobs coming from an alleyway coming up. He ran over there, worried that one of his people was hurt. However, instead of seeing a sinner, there was... an Angel? Covered in blood and...mutilated. But how could that be? The extermination wasn't for another 5 months.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, slowly approaching the angel. Vicky looked up and saw the demon approaching him. He just calmed down from a panic attack but it was starting right back up again. He tried to scramble but just backed up against the dumpster, causing pain to shoot up his back.

"Aargh!" He let out a shriek of pain and doubled over.

Charlie didn't know why but he pitied the angel. They just seemed so scared and in pain. He took a deep breath and slowly crouched down to them.

"I'm not going to hurt you. Sure, I'm a little confused on why you're here, but you can explain it to me later, "He pulled out a couple of bandages and began to cover his bloodied eye socket, "I'm Charles by the way, but everyone just calls me Charlie"

"Va-...Victor... or Vicky" The injured angel mumbled.

It confused Charlie that the angel had such a masculine name but such a feminine physique. But he could ask questions about that later.

"Here, use this to cover your back. I'll call my driver to come pick us up and I'll patch you up at my house, okay?" Charlie placed his tux coat over his shoulders to cover the bloody mess on his back.

Victor was confused on why this man was being so nice to him. Wasn't he in hell now? He went against God's ways and he was supposed to be punished. However, he didn't even get much time to think before a limo pulled up and he lifted. That single lift caused everything to throb with so much pain that his body just gave out and pulled him into unconsciousness.

[oshibrainallday]

Between Two Lovers (Crius/Anastasia/Tyril sandwich)

Find this on AO3 here

"This...wasn't what I meant when I said yes to lessons, Master Tyril," Anastasia's voice is strained as she looks up at Tyril from where she stands behind the couch. "Although..." She then turns her gaze to Crius, who is lounging in the opposite couch with a smirk. "Why you've invited the Grand Commander is beyond me."

Tyril grumbles under his breath, "I didn't so much as invite him as he invited himself."

Hmm. The Grand Commander did occasionally butt in whenever Tyril came to find her, but it was usually during work hours when she was on duty. This time, it's after work and they were all at her home. Then again, both men were good friends and were often seen together at the tavern...

"I'm hurt, my adorable subordinate," Crius simpers and crosses his arms and legs, stretching the leather fabric tight over his well-muscled thighs. "Do you not want me here?"

She can feel a headache coming on.

Sighing, Anastasia shakes her head, "I didn't say that..."

"See, Tyr? Told you she wouldn't mind," Crius crows to Tyril, who has a disgruntled look on his face and who is glaring daggers at the viridian knight.

"I didn't say that either," Anastasia tries to say, but clearly it goes unheard as the men begin to bicker.

Tyril has his arms held akimbo now, spitting back at Crius, "She asked me first and she invited me over."

"Well you can't keep hogging her, Mister Loyal Servant of the Goddess, I want to spend time with her too!"

"You do. At work. Almost the entire day. Now just--"

The two men are clearly on a roll. As much as Anastasia wants to snap at them and tell them off like Maya would, she's oddly content to just sit there and watch. It's funny, anyway. Just like how they were arguing over her head in Rizoh, though it was much, much harder to keep her composure then.

Just the thought of it brings her back. Tyril's bare, leanly muscled upper body pressing against her back. Crius' broad, clothed form holding her against him. Both men's hands tight on her belly and lower back, holding her possessively as if they wanted her all to themself.

It was a pity she was wearing so many layers, but even then she could feel the warmth and weight of their hands, the solid heat of their bodies, and--

"Anastasia?"

Huh?

"Oi, stop spacing out."

A sharp tap to her forehead makes her cry out in surprise and Anastasia rubs at the spot, wincing up at...Tyril? The former inquisitor is now right in front of her and peers at her with affectionate annoyance. Ah, he caught her. Crius also looks at her with some concern from where he sits. Clearly the men were done with their playful bickering.

"Oh, sorry." She smiles sheepishly and shakes her head.

Tyril leans a hip against the arm of the couch and crosses his arms, conveniently blocking her line of sight to Crius. "That was an interesting look on your face while you were spacing out," he purrs, leaning in closer, close enough that his long bangs tickles her cheek. "What were you thinking about?"

Before she could blurt out 'nothing', quick footsteps approach and there is a solid presence by her arm. "Eh?" The scent of metal and polish and Garuda is familiar, as is the weight of the thick uniform pressing against her similarly clothed arm.

"Oh lay off it, Tyr," the Grand Commander croons from above her head, his arm coming around to brace it on the back of the couch, conveniently curling around her own back.

Like this, both men have caged her between them again. Just like in Rizoh.

Immediately, her face heats up.

Tyril is about to bite back when he notices the blush on her face. Instantly, the barb he poised to let loose turns into something silkier, "Oh?" Those soft, sinful lips turn up into a knowing smirk. "What, don't tell me you like this?"

His violet eyes peer into hers, searching her blushing face when she drops her gaze to his collar instead out of embarrassment. "Ah, let me guess. You're remembering that time in Rizoh. Too bad I've got my clothes on this time, eh?"

She stiffens up. Damn Tyril's perceptiveness; nothing gets past him.

"Oh?" Crius echoes, then his head dips down so that his lips brush the back of her head. Instantly, goosebumps, the good kind, make her skin prickle and cause a soft sound to slip from her tightly clenched teeth.

Both men exchange a glance over her head and smile. A silent agreement forms.

Their hands slide onto her body then. On her hips, her thigh, her ribs. Anastasia's breath catches in her throat and she whips her head up to look at Tyril with wide, ruby eyes. "M-Master Tyril--"

A nip to the shell of her ear makes her cry out.

"Don't forget me, Anastasia~" Crius purrs into her ear and sighs hotly, making her shiver all over.

"Grand Commander--I--wha--" Her stuttering doesn't make them any less smug. In fact, it seems only to spur them on.

Tyril bends his head and comes in close, so close that she can feel his breath on her lips. "So this is what you like, huh? Greedy girl." And then he catches her lips in a deep, searching kiss. The kind that takes her breath away and scrambles her thoughts.

Oh. Oh this is what it's like...

She's been kissed by him before, sure, but only ever to receive medicine during the Carnival several Fatal Rewinds ago. But this...

"Anastasia," Crius whispers in her ear, kissing down to the back of it, over the back curve of her jaw, and then to the column of her neck until he's obstructed by her tie. "Would you do us the honour of sharing you tonight?"

'Us'???

Sh-sharing?

Tonight?!

Breaking away from Tyril's kiss, Anastasia heaves for breath and scrambles for two brain cells to rub together. "Nghh how can you--" A wet kiss to her neck promptly scatters her thoughts again. "How can you ask me that when you're--" A soft snicker, then a lick to her lower lip, followed by the scrape of teeth. "You're--I can't think...!"

"That's the point," Tyril grins and kisses her properly again.

Someone's hand travels up to grasp her breast through her shirt, squeezing firmly, but gently, and she gasps with an arch of her back. "Mmh!"

"Such sweet noises," Crius murmurs into her neck. Another hand comes up to undo her tie, the brooch, and her buttoned up shirt. Whoever it is can't get past the vest, not just yet, but they pull her shirt apart enough to bare her breasts to the cool night air.

"Ah!"

The cut of her vest, more like a bustier than anything, doesn't do much to preserve her modesty without a shirt. Like this, with her shirt pulled apart, her nipples are only barely covered, and every heave of her chest threatens to bare them entirely.

Entirely embarrassed by her current state of undress in comparison to the men, she raises her arms to cover her chest. Alas, she's intercepted by two hands grasping her wrists gently, urging them down to her sides.

Crius is the one who speaks right into her ear, "None of that. Let us see you."

Though Tyril is loathe to leave her mouth be, clearly her cleavage poses a more tempting target and he dives down to lick the curve of her breast. "A-ah!" she cries out, her chin tipping up without conscious thought. "Maybe--nnh! I shouldn't be the only one half-exposed..."

"Pervert," Tyril teases her, his smile growing against her flushed skin.

"S-so what if I am?" She grows even warmer at the sight of his lips brushing ever closer to her perked nipple, her breath catching in her throat as his tongue flicks over the pebbled flesh. She manages to catch a moan behind her teeth, squeezing her thighs tight as that single touch sends lightning down her spine. Pooling between her legs.

Another hand, perhaps Crius', drifts to undo the catches to her vest, loosening it and parting it. Baring more of her pale skin now pink with the strength of her blush. "Far be it for me to deny you anything, Anastasia," Crius murmurs into the crook of her neck and he lets go of her.

Ah, his were the hands that undid her vest and at her left hand. For when he lets her go, Tyril's are on the curve of her rib and on her right wrist. Well, she doesn't have long to figure this out, because the moment Crius steps away, Tyril is leading her towards her bed and pushing her atop it.

Her mind is in a fog in the best of ways and she doesn't resist, falling on the soft surface with a quiet sound. Cool air drifts across her now bare chest until her sternum, where her shirt is still buttoned up. But it isn't long before Tyril is crawling atop her, his knees between hers, with a smile on his face.

"You look good enough to eat," he murmurs softly as he kisses her and palms her breast.

Given what she's seen and went through, that's not the phrasing she would like to hear but she supposes there's a different connotation now. Especially since he touches her with such care and adoration, with a firm and hungry grip despite how patiently he does it.

"Thank you...?" It's the only response she can think of, really, but that seems to be enough for the foul-mouthed former Inquisitor.

"Tch, so polite," he needles her, his hands wandering down her front until he undoes the rest of the buttons with his dexterous fingers. Her vest comes off, then her blouse, leaving her in only her shorts, stockings and boots. But that doesn't last long as another set of hands chip in to strip her fully.

"H-hey!" she gasps, her face heating up again. If she ever blurted out how she enjoys having their hands on her...she'd never live it down. So she bites her tongue and just breathes heavily as she is left to lie under Tyril, completely bare.

From where she lies, she can see Crius moving away to put her discarded clothes in a laundry basket. Considerate as always. Though she takes advantage of his back being turned to admire the way the muscles of his bare back shifted--wait. Bare--

It's not like she hasn't seen him half-naked before, she's sure. The men occasionally trained without their shirts on in the hottest days of summer. But it's different now. Perhaps it's the way that he saunters towards her, a hungry glint to his eyes.

"Distracted? Can't have that." Tyril's voice snaps her out of her thoughts and she only has time to let out a soft 'huh?' before Tyril rolls to sit on the bed and pull her into his lap. Like this, she's facing him and giving her back to Crius. As he planned.

Her hands land on his broad shoulders, her knees on either side of his hips, and her barely clothed cunt lands right on the burgeoning erection in his trousers. Anastasia blushes so hard she reckons she could cook an egg on her face, her thighs clenching hard on his hips.

"Heh, what a cute expression," Tyril grins and dives to mouth at the underside of her jaw.

But he doesn't get a chance to linger. Not when warm, rough hands fall on her hips just above Tyril's and tugs her away. "Be a good friend and share, Tyr~"

"Oh fuck off..."

"What the--" Anastasia can only gasp as she is tugged onto her back on the bed, her thighs pressed open and splayed wide in one smooth motion. "Could you just--" she can't get out much more than that before Tyril leans down to capture her mouth with his.

"Fine, I'll be good and share," Tyril says to Crius. He twines Anastasia's hands together with his and pin them to his chest, leaving her wide open and helpless as he smirks down at her, "Whatever you're about to say, no." That expression is as teasing as ever, growing more mischievous the more she wriggles and squirms to escape his grip. Hands grip her panties and pull them off in short measure, leaving her bare.

"Don't hide from me~" Crius purrs from between her legs. His hands are big enough that he can hold her thighs open and pull apart her labia with his thumbs, exposing her entirely.

"H-hey!" It comes out in a strained moan and a hot flush of embarrassment. "Don't look at me there-!"

Tyril presses their cheeks together and looks down at Crius with her. Crius whose honeyed brown eyes are ravenous as he looks down at her slick pink slit, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips as though he were salivating. "Why not? Look at him, bet he's never looked at anything or anyone like that before."

"I have to taste you," Crius moans and dives in without waiting another second.

And the moment his hot mouth closes over her clit, Anastasia can't stop the whorishly loud moan that rips from her chest. Her thighs tremble and manage to escape Crius' grip, but they close instead around his ears and make him moan.

"By the Goddess, you taste amazing," Crius is undeterred as he moans and slurps her up, his talented tongue slipping and sliding all over her to take every single drop of her slick. His hands move to the backs of her knees, and with a single powerful move he spreads her wide open again.

Anastasia can't find the will to bite back at that, instead she squirms and cries out at the lewd, slick sounds that come from his mouth as he licks and sucks and nibbles at her cunt.

Tyril, meanwhile, presses his lips to her ear and chuckles darkly, purring, "I bet with his senses restored, your taste is nothing less than ambrosia to him."

A whimper escapes her and she shuts her eyes tight, her blush nearly burning her cheeks.

"None of that," Tyril chides her teasingly and nips at her ear lobe, just next to the earring that the four men had gifted her not long ago, and murmurs, "Look at him. Look at what his hunger for you has done to him."

Like most orders that Tyril has given her, Anastasia finds it hard to disobey and cracks her eyes open to stare hazily down at the Grand Commander of the Wings between her splayed thighs.

The viridian knight almost looks drunk as he devours her, his mouth and cheeks and chin glistening with her slick. His talented lips suck the soft skin of her labia between them, taking every bit of slick with him as he lets go with a pop. The other side gets much of the same treatment, and he refocuses on her clit once more.

Every suck, every growl, it all pulls dirty moan after dirty moan out of her. Anastasia can't stop herself from squirming or from rocking her hips from side to side from the sheer pleasure of it all, mussing her hair against Tyril's shoulder as she tucks her face into his neck out of embarrassment.

And when Crius stretches his tongue and stuffs it as far inside her as he can, she cries out in a choked voice, "Oh fuck, please-!"

"Tyr," Crius groans out. A request.

The former Inquisitor's face takes on a surprised expression, then a knowing one. "Sure."

Without another word, both men work together to lift Anastasia up off the mattress, their muscled arms and powerful forms handling her carefully and gently despite her cry of outrage and surprise. "What are you-?!"

"Getting you into a better position, duh."

Huh?!

She's given no time to react. Not when Tyril has shifted to the head of the bed, tugging her along with him and then atop him, her back to his chest. Somewhere along the way, he lost his cape and top, leaving him shirtless but with his white pants still on, and the incredible warmth of his chest makes her blush and squirm in his arms.

His thighs are muscular under her, bearing her weight easily and letting her rest her ass in the curve of his hips. Oh, is that--

"You're--" Hard. Is what she intends to say, but she is immediately distracted by those lean, tattooed arms looping under her knees and pulling her thighs wide and to the sides. "Hey! Agh this is so embarrassing...!"

One hand goes to cover her exposed cunt, the other to her face to cover her mouth in an uncharacteristically bashful move. No one has ever seen her like this, although she acknowledges it might be a bit late, considering how Crius had his face pressed between her thighs not two minutes before.

"I didn't take you the sort to be so shy, Anastasia," Tyril rumbles in her ear, his arms pulling her legs further up to her shoulders. He revels in the shy squeak that he pulls from her, chuckling and stretching the tips of his long fingers to rub teasingly against her puckered nipples.

"A-ahh!"

Crius hums in agreement, kneeling between their legs and reaching down to gently push her hand away. "You're beautiful, Anastasia, there's nothing to be shy about," he says reassuringly, leaning forward to catch her lips in a hungry kiss.

Oh. Oh, like this, she can taste something salty, musky, on his lips. Is that...her?

Crius is forceful in his kiss, as forceful as he was in eating her out, and what Tyril says rings in her head.

'Now that he has his senses back, your taste must be nothing less than ambrosia for him.'

She can see why that might be. From the way he kisses her breathless, to the way he kisses and licks down her body, and then to stuff his face into her sodden cunt again, it's evident that the Grand Commander is hungry.

But this time, in addition to the lips and tongue working at her clit, there's something blunt and warm and firm teasing at her slit. She inhales sharply as she realises what it is - a finger, blunt and thick, easing inside her with not a single bit of resistance.

"Aaahh!" Anastasia lolls her head to the side and shutters her eyes at the intrusion, which though she has never experienced its like before, is nevertheless welcome. And perhaps...wanted? It fills something in her that she now realises is achingly empty, and she bucks her hips with a soft moan. "More...!"

"That's our Anastasia," Tyril croons in her ear and bites at her neck. The cock pressed up against her backside twitches with her moans and wriggles, a temptation, a sign of things to come.

Another finger slips inside her, stretching her in the best way possible. Hells, if this is what she's been missing out on...

As always, Tyril picks up on her thoughts, pressing their mouths together in a sloppy kiss as he purrs, "Bet you're wishing you did this earlier, huh? I agree, you definitely should have asked me a long time ago."

"Mmm Anastasia, you know you could have come to me for anything, right?" Crius finally speaks up, her clit slipping from between his lips with a lewd pop. Meanwhile, his fingers still move, slipping in and out of her, stretching her.

She feels like she's losing her mind and clings to both men like an anchor. "You both are--ngahh--equally...!" Then Crius quirks his fingers up and hits something in her that makes her jump and gasp, cutting herself off.

"Equally what?" Crius asks with a knowing smile, dipping his head to suck and lick at her clit again while thrusting his fingers in and out of her, his fingertips primed to hit that spot every time.

Alas, Anastasia is in no state to answer him, her mouth wide open as she pants for air, soft needy moans escaping her with every breath. The wettest, slickest sounds echo in the quiet room from how wet she is as he quickens his pace. Faster and faster and faster, until she's crying out with the sheer amount of pleasure wracking her body.

"Answer him, Anastasia," Tyril's fingers pinch at her nipple and she cries out again, her entire body shaking. "Or you can't cum."

No...no way! She's so close, she's...

"Please...!" she pleads, tears beading in the corners of her eyes from how overwhelmed she is.

But Crius slows his pace and she sobs, writhing in both their arms.

"Anastasia," Crius croons against her clit, giving it one broad lick. "Tell us and I'll let you cum."

Fuck. Fuck! If only she weren't so close, but...!

"I...I...!" She manages to eke out, but then Crius' fingers pull out entirely and she bites on her pride. "I wanted you both equally!"

There are two distinct chuckles.

"Knew it."

"Good."

And then two distinct mouths descending on her. One determined to steal her breath and her mind through her lips, the other intent on squeezing every inch of pleasure from her through her clit.

Either way, or perhaps because of them both together and the fingers that fuck her quickly and roughly, Anastasia comes with a muffled wail against Tyril's lips. Through her orgasm, Crius continues to fuck her, driving his fingertips against that spot that makes her jump and squirm and shake.

Her pleasure takes on a sharp edge, intoxicating in its juxtaposition against the intense pleasure wracking her body, and she can't control the way she jerks in Tyril's arms. But then something starts to boil and burn between her legs, and it feels like...like...she's about to wet herself?!

"Wait--wait no stop-!" Desperately, she tries to push Crius' hand away but it's too late to stop the deluge.

Literally.

With every thrust of Crius' fingers, fluid squirts out and drenches his forearm, his face, his chest, and even the bed under them. Again and again and again as the Grand Commander refuses to stop, even when her fluids begin to drip down his chin and onto the covers.

Anastasia feels like she's gone mad and fallen unconscious all at once, her head is spinning like a top. And when at last her orgasm tapers to an end, she goes limp with a whimper.

Crius' fingers are still inside her, but they remain blissfully still. She pants hard to regain her breath, her throat feeling ever so hoarse. Was she that loud? Oh no.

"That...was fucking hot," Tyril growls against her temple, his sharp violet eyes taking in the mess between her thighs and on Crius' upper body. "Who knew you'd be a squirter?"

A what?

The other man simply laughs and withdraws his fingers from within her with a squelch, slipping them into his mouth to suck them clean. "You should try it too, Tyr."

"Yeah, you know what? I think I will."

Anastasia laughs faintly and rolls away just as Tyril wriggles out from under her. Once on the cool sheets, she goes limp again and sighs, closing her aching legs and curling her knees up to avoid the wet patch on the mattress. "Don't I get a say?" she croaks out jokingly. "Or a break?"

A tongue flicks out to lick up the trail of slick that trickles down her inner thigh and she jumps with a gasp. "Heh, fine, a short break." It's Tyril licking her now, his nose pressing into the plush flesh of her backside.

"That's--nn--" she bites her lip and clutches the covers. "Not giving me a break!"

Wait, if Tyril's licking her, where's Crius?

Before she can lift her head, she hears cloth hitting the floor and then feels the bed dip by her shoulder. The wide expanse of a lightly tanned, muscular thigh comes into view and she follows it up to find an entirely nude Crius smiling down at her with her fluids drying on his upper body.

"Is it so bad to want you as much as we do, Anastasia?" he asks, his voice like silk as he winds his now clean hands through her sweat dampened hair, smoothing it back from her face. "That we can't bear to be apart from you for even a moment?"

Such sweet words. She thought that she is immune to them - and normally she would be - but in this situation, with Tyril's mouth cleaning her up and Crius tangling his fingers in her hair and his warmth so temptingly close, she can't think. "...No...it's not a bad thing...but I..."

"Sensitive, right?" Tyril, right on the money as always. "Don't worry, we'll be gentle. Sort of."

Sort of?

Crius leans in and presses his mouth to her shoulder, kissing and mouthing gently down her arm in a charming way until he reaches her wrist. There, he kisses it and gives her the most sultry look she's ever seen on a man, and smiles. "Do you trust us, Anastasia?"

...

As much as her head spins, she knows there's only one answer.

"Yes."

"Heh, my turn."

[helluvapurf]

First-Impression thoughts on Hazbin Hotel's "official" first ep, now that I checked it out on YT-

*Spoiler warning below for those who didn't see it yet-*

-Great to see Charlie & Vaggie again, still a wholesome lil supportive pair whilst having their own quirks/things to do on the side. Esp with Vaggie spending the whole time back at the hotel reshooting a whole commercial for Charlie's sake, awww :3

-Pleasantly surprised by the twist of Charlie's mom being the figure she was most inspired by to make her dream come true, along with her love for singing. Curious to see where Lilith's whereabouts could be if she's been away for so long?

-The new voices were... a mixed bag, I suppose? Mainly in the line/tone-deliveries for certain characters (& I guess I'm still moreso used to the OG pilot's portrayals lol), but I can see the good attempts made from those like Charlie & Alastor.

-I... don't know how I feel about the way Lucifer's backstory was handled? Like, yeah its interesting hearing of him & Lilith genuinely connecting over their "rebellious" natures (& thus fleeing from Heaven's wrath/staying in Hell to be together). But then, the whole thing with Lucifer apparently being some "doofy, misunderstood dreamer who only wanted the best for Humanity, got bullied by those mean ol' angels, and didn't meaaaan to spread Sin all across Earth~ 🥺🥺" ...ehhhhh, felt kinda lame imho 🤷‍♀️. Not that I mind giving nuanced/sympathetic angles to a character's development now & then... but with someone like Lucifer (who mind you, is meant to represent the "Ring of Pride" on top of his Hell-ruling duties), I guess I kinda expected more... "bite" to his portrayal, I guess? .3. But idk, maybe that's just me... (*Tho admittedly, one could argue that perhaps he and/or Lilith were simply lying in that storybook to make them look less "bad"... idk, given HB's track record with Stolas' writing and since both shows are made by the same people... part of me can't help having my doubts ^^; *)

-Adam... ooooooh boi .x.;; Ever since I saw his leaked design I've always been rather... "mixed" about him, and now seeing him on-screen & talking I... don't really get the concept behind him? I mean, yeah I'm all for a fun, chaotic-jackass type when done right (hell I still consider Blitz among my faves to this day lol). But with Adam apparently being the big leader behind Heaven's army, AND was even the "original" Adam from biblical times... how tf did he get the chance to be allowed in Heaven if he not only helped curse humanity to sin (aka: sharing Forbidden Fruit with Eve), but on top of him currently being a horny, misogynistic loudmouth? 🤨Discounting that is also the fact that his whole design vibe just... doesn't really give me "holy army leader" vibes, but more-or-less just Blitz in some weird angel cosplay lol 🤷‍♀️. No shade to those who genuinely do like Adam though (and I'll admit his song was surprisingly catchy lol), I just... feel like his whole personality/design vibe could've probably fit better to a fallen angel-type character (or even a demon-angel hybrid if you wanna play more into the Heaven vs. Hell conflict), someone who only takes up the "Adam" title as an ego trip to enact his revenge against Hell... or, something like that idk; my brain's tired lol. (*His sidekick Lute seems pretty cool tho, she kinda reminds me of Tempest Shadow from MLP in a way .3.*)

-Nice to see more of the old Hotel gang again, esp those like Nifty she was a cute :3 (her whole reaction to the camera honestly being a whole mood lol)

-Did not expect to see Brandon Rogers pop up voicing Katie Killjoy of all people, buuuut I guess I can see the amusing comparison potential to that one CEO persona of his lol

....Aaaaaand yep, that's about the gist of my first-impression thoughts atm .3. Dunno if I'll be sitting down to watch the whole season of Amazon's Hazbin atm (*'cause like, I do have Amazon Prime, buuuuut I rarely ever use that to watch shows (save for some classic cartoons here & there lol) .w.; *), but I'd say it was still generally a decent watch for what it is imo👍(+any chance to see my girl Vaggie again, the better~ x3💜)

[daydreaming-memories]

u ask questions u already know the answer to(yes)

yknow i'm gonna answer this by throwing quotes of allie and honeydrop incorrect quotes because i need to so bad think about this duo more

Honeydrop: Are you ready to commit?

Allie: Like, a crime or a relationship?

Honeydrop: We should be partners.

Allie: You mean like, partners in crime?

Honeydrop: Yeah... that’s precisely what I meant.

Honeydrop, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!

Allie: walks in covered with ink Well, maybe that "squid" was being a dick.

Allie: Here's some advice

Honeydrop: I didn't ask for any

Allie: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

Allie: Don’t worry, I have a permit.

Honeydrop: ...This just says “I can do what I want”.

Honeydrop: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff.

Allie: Oh, that was all real.

Honeydrop: Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?!

Allie: If I’m gonna be sacrificed, I’m gonna do it right.

Honeydrop: You can’t have a gun on stage!

Allie: WRONG AGAIN! I can have a gun, and I must have a gun, that’s the rule of Chekhov’s Gun: have a gun. And now that it’s been seen, I will have to shoot someone before the end of the play.

Honeydrop: Two bros!

Allie: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Honeydrop and Allie, in unison: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!

Honeydrop: You’re not jealous, are you?

Allie: No!

Honeydrop: Good, ‘cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.

Honeydrop: When surrendering, Allie is to hand the sword over HILT first

Allie: Answers phone. Hello?

Honeydrop: It's Honeydrop.

Allie: What did they do this time?

Honeydrop: No, it's me, Allie. It's actually me.

Allie: What did you do this time?

Honeydrop: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Allie: How can you still say that?

Honeydrop: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Allie: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.

Honeydrop: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything.

Honeydrop: How many children do you have?

Allie: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference.

Honeydrop: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing.

Allie: But ya' didn't!

Allie, talking about Honeydrop: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH THEM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DID. THEY KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

Allie: Stop doing that.

Honeydrop: Stop doing what?

Allie: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.

Allie: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby?

Allie: I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us.

Allie: I also want to softhack his circuits.

Honeydrop: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

Allie, trying their first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY!

Honeydrop, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

Allie: You know what I’ve realized?

Honeydrop: Some thoughts are better left unsaid?

Allie: Nice try, anyways-

Honeydrop, shakily: Please, just tell me what the book is about. The plot, please.

Allie, reading an annotation on the cover of a book, unfazed: A subversive masterpiece. A deep and touching story. New York Times Bestseller.

Allie, now looking directly at Honeydrop: Go fuck yourself.

Allie: I am 39 cheetos tall.

Honeydrop: Why... are you measuring your height in cheetos?

Allie: Because we're out of doritos.

Honeydrop: Are you this rude to everyone?!

Allie: Yup.

Allie: Don't think you're special.

While planning to break in somewhere

Allie: Hey, let's do "Get Help!"

Honeydrop: What?

Allie: "Get Help."

Honeydrop: No.

Allie: C'mon, you love it!

Honeydrop: I hate it.

Allie: It's great! It works every time!

Honeydrop: It's humiliating.

Allie: Do you have a better plan?

Honeydrop: No.

Allie: We're doing it!

Honeydrop: We are not doing "Get Help!"

A Minute Later

Allie, carrying Honeydrop: Get help! Please! They're dying! Help Them! throws Honeydrop at guards, knocking them out

Allie: Ahh, classic!

Honeydrop: gets up I still hate it. It's humiliating.

Allie, laughing: Not for me, it's not.

Allie: We have a problem.

Honeydrop: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Allie: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.

Honeydrop: Allie, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck.

Allie: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not.

Honeydrop: Well, I mean yeah.

Allie: So come downstairs while they’re still hot.

Honeydrop: Wait, you just made them?

Allie: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets.

Honeydrop: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Allie.

Honeydrop is speaking on the phone

Honeydrop: Yeah, I'm with Allie.

Allie: Im fucking dying-

Honeydrop: Yep, they're okay.

Allie: I have a knife in my chest!

Honeydrop: No, they can't talk right now. They're sleeping, sorry.

Allie: IM BLEEDING OUT-

Allie: Everything’s fine, Honeydrop.

Honeydrop: Allie, I know your relationship with the english language is strictly casual, but you- I- deep inhale ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT FINE.

Honeydrop: I want a trip down memory lane.

Allie: proceeds to grab every warrior cats book they have and sets them in Honeydrop's lap

Allie: I heard you needed these?

Honeydrop: YES! ALL OF THEM!

Honeydrop: I fell—

Allie: From heaven?

Honeydrop: No, I literally fell—

Allie: In love with me the moment you saw me?

Honeydrop: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Allie: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest

[^ also fits the drawing i need to do, counterpart to let's get therapy image i did]

Honeydrop: I'm trash.

Allie: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

Honeydrop:

Honeydrop: You smooth motherfucker.

Honeydrop: And yes it does.

Allie: Honeydrop and I are no longer friends.

Honeydrop: ALLIE THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

Honeydrop: PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT UPSEXY IS!

Allie: Could you rephrase the question, in like, two words maybe?

Allie, to the Squad: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go.

Honeydrop: But how-

Allie, ignoring them: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.

Allie: I learned a valuable lesson from this.

Honeydrop: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lesson you actually should’ve taken away…

Allie: DEATH ISN’T REAL AND I AM BASICALLY GOD!

Honeydrop: Why can’t we all just get along?

Allie: Because most of us are assholes, Honeydrop.

Allie: I got us matching friendship bracelets, and you say I don't care about our relationship.

Honeydrop: These are handcuffs.

Allie: Yeah, 'cause we're partners in crime!

Allie: So Honeydrop, how did your first time cooking dinner go?

Honeydrop: Pretty good if I do say so myself.

Allie: Oo! Okay, what are we having?

Honeydrop: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato.

Allie: A whole potato?

Honeydrop: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches!

Allie: These just look like big slabs of black.

Honeydrop: Because that's what they are!

Honeydrop: And then for desert, we have chocolate.

Allie: These are just chocolate chips?

Honeydrop: They sure are!

Honeydrop: And then for drinks, we have toast!

Honeydrop: lifts up a glass of blended toast Bon appetite!

Allie: Are we fighting or flirting?

Honeydrop: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Allie: Your point?

Honeydrop: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.

Allie: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

Honeydrop: Hey, wanna help me commit arson?

Allie: What the hell!?

Honeydrop: Oh, sorry, my bad.

Honeydrop, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson?

Allie, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

Honeydrop: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!?

Allie: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.

Honeydrop: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Allie: Killed without hesitation

Allie: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Honeydrop: steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely

Allie: That one. I want that one.

Honeydrop: Allie, you’re offered 500,000 dollars, but, if you accept it, the person you hate the most in the world gets 1,000,000 dollars. Would you take it?

Allie: Of course! I mean, why wouldn’t I want 1,500,000 dollars?

Allie: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?

Honeydrop: All the time.

Allie: Then you should be used to it by now.

Allie: Wow, they really hate us.

Honeydrop: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic.

Allie: But we’re not gay, Honeydrop.

Honeydrop:

Allie:

Honeydrop: We’re not?

honeydrop: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

allie: Stop romanticizing the past.

honeydrop: Accidentally hits allie in the face

honeydrop: Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'

honeydrop: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

allie: What’s wrong with you?!

honeydrop: This is such a bad idea.

allie: Then why are you coming along?

honeydrop: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong

honeydrop: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

allie: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

honeydrop and allie skipping stones on lake

honeydrop: It’s such a beautiful evening.

allie, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

honeydrop: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

allie: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

honeydrop: allie was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

allie: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

honeydrop: allie, you ate a chair

[xxladyloganxx]

My experience with the fandom is rather unique.

The dub was released when I was in my early teens and even before that, I was already a culture/history nerd (thank mostly anime and WB cartoons for that), but I didn't have access to the internet outside of my local library, not to mention being on a timer, meaning my only consumption of any fandom in general was AMVs on YouTube or my close friends from my school. Also I was too poor for cons.

So of course, I had no idea about all the drama and controversies that were happening until a decade later when I became an adult and got into the fandom again because I finally got my own smartphone and suddenly got recommended videos like "how bad was the Hetalia fandom". Do I have to tell you what's it's like to have positive experiences with a fandom only to find out that it was hell for everyone else?

But I did get weird looks when I mentioned Hetalia but I couldn't understand why. I do now, I guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You know how some people say they can't associate with someone or something because they had bad experiences? I feel like I'm the opposite; because I had such positive memories I can't bring myself to hate Hetalia or it's fans. This doesn't mean I'm ignoring the the problematic stuff like cosplaying at the Holocaust Museum, if stuff like that ever happens again, I'm not afraid of calling that out.

But I also think the fandom has learned from all this and needs to move on; you can forgive but never forget. Even the "bad stuff" these days is just cringy fan-fics/art made by teenagers and even then, it still doesn't bother me because I too, was a teenager and did cringy things (I'd even argue that I've done way worse).

One could say that it was because I was lucky or sheltered from the horrors of the internet that I'm able to forgive the sins of the past so easily, and you may be right but even knowing all the drama up-close and personal, why are you continuing to hate and/or feel embarrassed? Is it because you fear of everything happening again? Do you think that the fandom is irredeemable because of the past?

If it's the latter, I can't stop your feelings. If it's too unbearable for you, then maybe it's better for you to dabble in the fandom as little as possible; not because "you're a hater, go away!" but rather it's not good to be bitter about something you want to enjoy.

If it's the former, the best you can do as a veteran is educate the new fans (this is a history fandom after all), make sure they don't repeat everything they see and hear, and unless they're actually doing something offensive or committing a crime leave it be. Don't harass or bully anyone.

I feel like it's time for Hetalia fans to move on from calling Hetalia and its fandom trash. If you don't like it, why are you here? This fandom isn't unique in having problems, yet so many fans act as if we're the single worst, most embarrassing fandom with the most embarrassing series in existence. It wasn't meant to be a documentary, get over it.

It's silly, and honestly the people who are so ashamed are the ones that are embarrassing. I've told multiple random anime fans I liked Hetalia and you know what happened? They either thought nothing of it or said, "Oh, Hetalia! I remember that!" with amusement and even fondness. I've gone to cons and Disney in Hetalia cosplay and the people who recognised me were only ever positive. I've explained the concept of Hetalia to various people and no one batted an eye. The personified nations concept isn't new. And you know, there are some pretty questionable historical depictions out there, too, so it's not like we're the only strange ones. Are there Hetalia antis out there? Of course. But why even feed them?

If you're so freaked out by the idea of being associated with Hetalia, then either you're the embarrassing one, you need to get better friends who will respect you, or you need to stop caring about the opinions of judgemental people. You know what's cool, though? Owning what you like and being the representation of the fandom you want to see. Basically, just...be a mature person and learn how to explain your interests without dragging everyone else into your own insecurities.

I think it's okay to express opinions, but I don't feel it's fair to generalise or outright bash something in front of a bunch of people who might enjoy that thing.

[baeddel]

Please. Please can you tell me what a baeddel is and why people (terfs?) used it in a derogatory manner on this website for a hot minute but now no one ever uses it at all

you asked for it, fucker

[2k words; philology and drama]

baeddel is an Old English word. i have no idea where it actually occurs in the Old English written corpus, but it occurs in a few placenames. its diminuitive form, baedling, is much better documented. it appears in the (untranslated) Canons of Theodore, a penitential handbook, a sort of guidebook for priests offering advice on what penances should be recommended for which sins. in a passage devoted to sexual transgressions it gives the penances suggested for a man who sleeps with a woman, a man who sleeps with another man, and then a man who sleeps with a baedling. so you have this construction of a baedling as something other than a man or a woman. and then it gives the penance for a baedling who sleeps with another baedling (a ludicrous one-year fast). then, by way of an explaination, Theodore delivers us one of the most enigmatic phrases in the Old English corpus: "for she is soft, like an adulturess."

the -ling suffix in baedling is masculine. but Theodore uses feminine pronouns and suffixes to describe baedlings. as we said, it's also used separately from male and female. but it's also used separately from their words for intersex and it never appears in this context. all of this means that you have this word that denotes a subject who is, as Christopher Monk put it, "of problematic gender." interested historians have typically interpreted it as referring to some category of homosexual male, such as Wayne R. Dines in his two-volume Encyclopedia of Homosexuality who discusses it in the context of an Old English glossary which works a bit like an Old English-Latin dictionary, giving Old English words and their Latin counterparts. the Latin words the Anglo-Saxon lexicographer chose to correspond with baedling were effeminatus and mollis, and Lang concludes that it refers to an "effeminate homosexual" (pg 60, Anglo Saxon). this same glossary gives as an Old English synonym the word waepenwifstere which literally means "woman with a penis," and which Dines gives the approximate translation (hold on tight) male wife.

R. D. Fulk, a philologist and medievalist, made a separate analysis of the term in his study on the Canons of Theodore 'Male Homoeroticism in the Old English Canons of Theodore', collected in Sex and Sexuality in Medieval England, 2004. he analysed it as a 'sexual category' (sexual as in sexuality), owing to the context of sexual transgressions in the Canons. he decides that it refers to a man who bottoms in sexual relationships with another man. i don't have the article on hand so i'm not sure what his reasoning was, but this seems obviously inadequate given what we know from the glossary described by Dines. Latin has a word for bottom, pathica, and the lexicographer did not use this in their translation, preferring words that emphasized the baedling's femininity like effeminatus, and doesn't address the sexual context at all. Dines, however, only reading this glossary, seems to decide that it refers to a type of male homosexual too hastily, considering the Canons explicitly treat them separately. both Dines and Fulk immediately reduce the baedling to a subcategory of homosexual when neither of the sources to hand actually do so themselves.

by now it should be obvious why, seven or so years ago, we interpreted it as an equivalent to trans woman. I mean come on - a woman with a penis! these days I tend to add a bit of a caution to this understanding, which is that trans woman is the translation of baedling which seems most adequate to us, just as baedling was the translation of effeminatus that seemed most adequate to our lexicographer. but the term cannot translate perfectly; its sense was derived from some minimal context; a legal context, a doctrinal context, and so forth... the way Anglo-Saxons understood sex/gender is complicated but it has been argued that they had a 'one sex model' and didn't regard men and women as biologically separate types, which is obviously quite different from the sexual model accepted today; in any case they didn't have access to the karyotype and so on. the basic categories they used to understand gender and sexuality were different from ours. in particular, Hirschfield et al. should be understood as a particularly revolutionary moment in the genealogy of transsexuality; the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft essentially invented the concept of the 'sex change', the 'transition', conceived as a biological passage from one sex to the other. even in other contexts where (forgive me) #girlslikeus changed their bodies in some way, like the castration of the priestesses of Cybele, or those belonging to the various historical societies which we believe used premarin for feminization [disputed; see this post], there is no record that they were ever considered men at any stage or had some kind of male biology that preceded their 'gender identity.' the concept of the trans woman requires the minimal context of the coercive assignment at birth and its subsequent (civil and bio-technological) rejection. i have never encountered evidence that this has ever been true in any previous society. nonetheless, these societies still had gendered relations, and essentially wherever we find these gendered relations we also find some subject which is omitted or for whom it has been necessary to note exceptions. what is of chief interest to us is not so much that there was such a subject here or there in history (and whatever propagandistic uses this fact might have), but understanding why these regularities exist.

a very parsimonious explanation is that gender is a biological reality, and there is some particular biological subject which a whole host of words have been conjured to denote. if this were the case then we would expect that, no matter what gender/sexual system we encounter in a given society, it will inevitably find some linguistic expression. if, like me, you find this idea revolting, then you should busy yourself trying to come up with an alternative explanation which is not just plausible, but more plausible. my best guesses are outside the scope of this answer...

anyway, all of this must be very interesting to the five or six people invested in the confluence of philology and gender studies. but why on earth did it become so widely used, in so many strange and unusual contexts, in the 2010s? we're very sorry, but yes, it's our fault. you see apart from all of this, there is also a little piece of information which goes along with the word baeddel, which is that it's the root of the Modern English word bad. by way of, no less, the word baedan, 'to defile'. how this defiled historical subject came to bear responsibility for everything bad to English-speakers doesn't seem to be known from linguistic evidence. however, it makes for a very pithy little remark on transmisogyny. my dear friend [REDACTED] made a playful little post making this point and, good Lord, had we only known...

it went like this. its such a funny little idea that we all start changing our urls to include the word baeddel. in those days it was common to make puns with your url (we always did halloween and christmas ones); i was baeddelaire, a play on the French poet Baudelaire. while we all still had these urls a series of events which everyone would like to forget happened, and we became Enemies of Everyone in the Whole World. because of the url thing people started to call us "the baeddels." then there was "a cult" called "the baeddels" and so forth. this cult had various infamies attatched to it and a constellation of indefensible political positions. ultimately we faced a metric fucking shit ton of harassment, including, for some of my friends, really serious and bad irl harassment that had long-term bad awful consequences relating to stable housing and physical safety and i basically never want to talk about that part of my life ever again. and i never have to, because i've come to realize that for most people, when they use the word baeddel, they don't know about that stuff. it doesn't mean that anymore.

so what does it mean? you'll see it in a few contexts. TERFs do use it, as you guessed. i am not quite sure what they really mean by it and how it differs from other TERF barbs. i think being a baeddel invovles being politically active or at least having a political consciousness, but in a way thats distinct from just any 'TRA' or trans activist. so perhaps 'militant' trans women, but perhaps also just any trans woman with any opinions at all. how this was transmitted from tumblr/west coast tranny drama to TERF vocabulary i have no idea. but you will also find - or, could have found a few years ago - i would say 'copycat' groups who didn't know us or what we believed but heard the rumours, and established their own (generously) organizations (usually facebook groups) dedicated to putting those principles into practice. they considered themselves trans lesbian separatists and did things like doxx and harass trans women who dated cafabs. if you don't know about this, yes, there really were such groups. they mostly collapsed and disappeared because they were evildoers who based their ideology on a caricature. i knew a black trans woman who was treated very badly by one of these groups, for predictable reasons. so long-time readers: if you see people talking about their bad experiences with 'baeddels', you can't necessarily relate it to the 2014 context and assume they're carrying around old baggage. there are other dreams in the nightmare.

the most common way you'll see it today, in my experience, is in this form: people will say that it was a "slur" for trans women. they might bring up that it's the root of the word bad, and they might even think that you shouldn't use the word bad because of it, or that you shouldn't use the word baeddel because it's a slur. all of this is a silly game of internet telephone and not worth addressing. except to say that it's by no means clear that baeddel, or baedling, were slurs, or even insulting at all. while Theodore doesn't provide us with a description of how we can have sex with a baedling without sinning, and it may be the case that any sexual relations with a baedling was considered sinful, sexuality-based transgressions were not taken all that seriously in those days. there was a period where homosexuality within the Church was almost sanctioned, and it wasn't until much later that homosexuality became so harshly proscribed, to the extent that it was thought to represent a threat to society, etc. and as i mentioned, there are places in England named after baedlings. there is a little parish near Kent which is called Badlesmere, Baeddel's Lake, which was recorded in the Anglo-Saxon Domesday Book (as having a lord, a handful of villagers and a few slaves; perhaps only one or two households). it's not unheard of, but i just don't know very many places called Faggot Town or some such. it's possible that baedlings had some role in Anglo-Saxon society which we are not aware of; it could even have been a prestigious one, as it was in other societies. there is just no evidence other than a couple of passing references in the literature and we'll probably never have a complete picture.

[tommycorriander]

I'm throwing my hat into the ring because I've needed to work on expanding my understanding of worldbuilding and deconstructing Hazbin has been (lol) a great exercise for that.

So, first off. Chinesegirl brings up a good point, the difference in approach to mythical creatures to religion-based creatures. Putting aside that some of these mythical creatures are also connected to religion (primarily Celtic pagan religions; this applies to fey as mentioned, but also things like elves and unicorns which weren't mentioned) the difference largely comes from perception. A creature can be anything, it's not going to offend someone if you make a vampire that's not based on Dracula and is more like Edward from Twilight. At least, it won't offend them in a way that matters. Religious iconography however, ESPECIALLY Christian iconography, is considered largely untouchable. There is a reason Jesus and God won't appear in Hazbin; Viv was raised religiously, and there are some lines you Do Not Cross when you're religious. Hell, even if she wasn't religious, she'd probably get enough backlash from evangelicals anyways to not make it worth her while.

So religious iconography and mythos are largely untouchable if you're trying to piss off as few people as possible. But clearly Viv on some level *wants* to piss off people, she is raunchy and edgy after all, so she'll take some liberties. On the face of it this is fine, but like Chai here says, it comes back to inconsistency. It's established at one point, somewhere (please bear with me keeping track of where this information comes from is a headache because... Viv) that sinners have a more monstrous form depending on the severity of the sins they committed. This is, of course, not followed, because Alastor is *right there*. You also have smaller things, such as how angels supposedly can't be hurt except by angelic weapons, but there's multiple instances of that... Not being true?

And while lore that is established is inconsistent, there's also the equally infuriating 'unexplained' lore. I want to make it clear that on the face of it, having something be vague or unexplained is not an inherently bad thing. Sometimes you don't need the show to stop the action to tell you exactly how x power or y gadget works. But imagine for a second if, say, Steven Universe never explained fusion. Like, at all. That would be pretty weird, right? They put enough focus on fusion that it would demand at some point some explanation. For Hazbin, this lack of explanation comes in the form of contracts and deals. They're very much plot important, both are introduced in the pilot (which is canon) and have emphasis placed on them within the series proper. However we aren't ever given an understanding of how these work, or even how they functionally differ. This leads to the audience asking questions like 'Why can't Charlie just free Angel Dust?' or 'Why is it such a big deal Charlie made a deal with Alastor?'. These are things the show should be explaining but just... Isn't, for some reason. My best guess is that Viv suffers from the very common amateur writing flaw of assuming the audience is already on board with your world and characters, but it's also entirely possible there were explanations that were cut for time, or they will be explained in later seasons. I'd argue having an entire season with these two important aspects being completely unexplained is terrible for the plot, but I'm splitting hairs.

Now here's the real meat and potatoes for why the demons and setting of Hell don't work: they don't mean anything. Really, what is lost about Hazbin Hotel if you change the setting to a high-fantasy and swap 'demons' with 'creatures' or the like? What about a sci-fi setting with aliens? You could do functionally the same story, because while redemption is supposed to be the central theme, it barely comes up to the point that you could cut it from the plot entirely and have the show work almost the same. "Oh but how would the trial work?" Mystical orb in a court in a castle for the high fantasy, holograms or some other gadget thing for the sci-fi. "What about Pentious getting redeemed?" Reincarnation, becomes a robot, something like that. "What about Charlie's goals?" Her goals completely shift to a rebellion after episode six, and even then prior to that episode the idea of redemption was always presented as a diplomatic solution to a conflict. Just nix the wording of redemption and have it be, I dunno, equal rights or the like. Or fair treatment of criminals, that works too.

Do you see what I'm getting at here? Hell isn't ever used to say something, it doesn't mean anything that they're demons. Hazbin lacks substance, and this is reflected in its world: it's all a veneer of depth but as deep as a puddle. To borrow a metaphor from Scott McCloud, it's a shiny red apple, but when you really try to sink your teeth into it, it's hollow.

In general, it is accepted that there are multiple different ways to interpret mythical creatures such as vampires, werewolves, dragons and fey, as for vampires they can be anything from supernatural, immortal undead like in classic and gothic horror, inhuman abominations that spread like parasites like in The Strain, corpses risen from the grave to feed on the living in folklore or even lovable and sympathetic heroes that are just misunderstood in child-friendly media such as Hotel Transylvania.

With this in mind, I would like to receive an explanation on why Helluvaverse's depiction of hell and demons is dissatisfactory from a worldbuilding standpoint, if other mythical beings and settings can be interpreted in such diverse ways and still work.

I've never had a problem with the fact that Viv's take on demons and Hell isn't always Biblically accurate; I care that she can't keep her worldbuilding straight and picks and discards bits of lore as it suits her.

Writers, take note: Fictional worlds don't have to follow all the rules of the real world, but they do have to follow their own.

[yourfavewriteress]

right under our noses (part 3) | colton parayko

intro | part 1 | part 2 

Teaser: "“How have you been, stranger?”

“I’m not wearing that,” You rolled your eyes at Alex. In all the years that you've known him, he had gotten very comfortable as your surrogate brother. He played the annoying role very well.

He pouted at you in response, “I think it’s a sin that you’ve never worn my jersey to a game.”

“The only reason I’m going to this game is for you and Jayne, isn’t that enough for you?”

“No.” You shrugged in response. “Some friend you are,” He grumbled under his breath.

“Jayne is going to be wearing your jersey,” You argued. "Maybe next time, I'll think about it."

“For the record, if it was your game, I would wear your jersey.”

“How nice of you, but too bad it's not,” You smirked. “Shouldn’t you be gone by now? Is the captain running late?”

Alex looked down at the watch on his wrist, pushing himself off of the counter he was leaned against. “Lucky for you, yes.”

“I might even do a nice celly after you shut the door behind you.”

“Babe!” He ignored you and called out to Jayne who was currently upstairs getting ready. “I’m leaving now!”

As you scrolled through Instagram on your phone, Alex left the kitchen and you could hear their muffled voices talking once he got upstairs. To respect their privacy and avoid gagging, you moved to their living room, turning on the TV as background noise.

“Is she coming out tonight?” Alex whispered to Jayne, quietly closing their bedroom door behind him.

“Yes, she promised me. Do you have a plan?”

“No,” Alex scoffed. “This was your idea! You don’t have a plan?”

“Shut up,” Jayne rolled her eyes, looking at her husband’s reflection in the mirror as she finished her hair. “Last week, they talked for a little at the bar, which was a good start.”

“Yeah, and she said she hoped he was the guy. Does she even remember that?”

“I asked her what the last thing she remembers was, and she said it was our last dance before we left.”

“So, that’s a hard no,” Alex sighed.

“Unfortunately. But, it does let us know we picked well, I think she'd go for it, don't you?”

“Sure, but she is unpredictable. I have to go, but I’ll think about how we're gonna get the ball rolling and you think, too. We have to get them to talk again tonight, at least once.”

“Agreed.”

You watched Alex leave a few minutes later, not before flipping you off. You laughed, sitting further into the couch since you know Jayne would be awhile.

“Jayne!” You groaned what felt like a lifetime later. “Alex left like an hour ago, how are you still not ready?”

“He made me mess up my makeup so I had to start over,” She breathed, walking out of their bedroom with one shoe on, the other in her hand.

“Can we go now?”

“Relax, you act like someone is going to steal our seats.”

“Well, sorry if I like to be on time to things,” You rolled your eyes.

“Our ride will be here in 10, I promise I’m ready,” She said, putting on her shoe. “See? Making progress.”

“Just hurry up.”

And, Jayne did. Although the ride was early, you made it to the car and then the arena, immediately being engulfed with the WAGs of the team. It was awkward, being the only non-WAG in the area. It felt like every other woman in the area and surrounding was side-eyeing you, trying to figure who you were here with. I guess I should have put on Alex’s jersey, maybe then people wouldn’t think I’m after their Prince Charming, whoever it is, you thought.

“You good?” Jayne nudged your arm with her elbow when she noticed you had retreated into your head.

“Yeah, just waiting for the game to start.”

“Do you need me to go over the rules again?”

“No, I’m fine, thanks,” You responded, sarcastically. “I wish we could sit in our own section, though. Away from all the eyes.”

Jayne looked around, shrugging, “It's the same thing every game. If you came more often, maybe you would know.”

"You and Alex are honestly made for each other. Both pains in my ass."

You could recall what happened during the game, but you were hardly paying attention. From scrolling on your phone, to people watching, and paying close attention to the large monitor, the game finished without you learning anything about the sport. You did know Alex's team won, which is really the important part.

In the locker room, Alex was racking his brain on how to move things along with you and Colton. You both were such important parts of his life, he knew he had to tread lightly otherwise this whole thing would blow up in his face.

“Listen, man,” He whispered after a bit to Colton. Colton leaned closer to him, to hear, “You should be on your best behavior tonight.”

“She’s going to be there?”

“I’m not one hundred percent sure,” Alex lied, again. “But the invite was given.”

“This still doesn’t give me any idea who she is,” Colton sighed. “We just won, basically everyone is going to be there.”

“That’s the point, idiot,” Alex shook his head. Colton rolled his eyes. "You can't try to jump to level 23 if you haven't even grazed level 4."

“I really hope you guys know what you're doing.”

“And, I really hope you stop being a buzzkill. Live for once, my friend, this could be great.”

“I’ll believe when I see it.”

"Then fucking relax and let it happen." Colton left the locker room shortly after that conversation, wanting to stop by his apartment before meeting everyone at the bar. As Colton drove to his place, he neglected to turn on any music, simply driving with his thoughts.

He thought about all the possibilities of who Alex and Jayne could be attempting to set him up with. He thought about that girl he met at one of Alex’s Sunday barbecues. The same girl he went on a date with and wanted nothing to do with after twenty minutes.

He tried to remember the last time he was genuinely interested in getting to know a woman on a romantic level. Yeah, sex has happened regularly, but nothing that would hold his attention for too long. He felt drained, from all the new people coming in and out of his life. He wanted something stable. He wanted what Alex and Jayne had. He wanted someone that he could trust, with his deepest emotions. The ones he bottled in. He wanted someone to trust him, too, and let him into their emotions. He wanted a real connection with a woman. One that would last.

Surprisingly, although not to Jayne and Alex, Colton thought about you, too. At first, it was because he wondered if you actually made any moves on quitting your job and finding a new one. He wanted to ask, and he made a note in his head to get your number from Alex, strictly platonic in his mind. A simply innocent thought. But as soon as he thought asking Alex, he considered you potentially being the one for him.

He had always found you attractive, since he first laid eyes on you. What guy wouldn't? Alex knew it. Jayne knew it. And, Colton knew it. Everyone except you. He thought you were funny, smart, easy to talk to, but also a real mystery. All he knew was, Alex made it very clear that you were off-limits years ago when you first met. There’s no way it’s Y/N, he thought. He knew you were strong-minded and respectful to everyone you encountered. He knew your smile was one that he had gotten used to seeing, as it hardly ever left your face whenever you were around him and the guys.

By the time he had made it to his place and changed, you had settled at the bar after a twenty minute conversation with Jayne about ‘not looking so closed off.’

You scoffed to yourself, thinking about Jayne’s “suggestions.” Although coming from a good place, you knew for a fact you weren't closed off, whatever that meant. How you look is how you look, how the hell can you change that? And, how the hell can you change how other people feel you look if you don’t agree yourself? This deal was really starting to piss you off.

“Boo,” You heard in your ear. You jumped at the contact, leaning away to look at who the culprit was.

You scoffed, “Of course.”

Grinning widely, Vince Dunn took the seat next to you. “Did I scare you?”

“Yeah, by whispering in my ear like a weirdo,” You explained. "Were you raised in a barn?"

“You’ll get over it,” He laughed. “How have you been, stranger?”

You met Vince right after he was drafted to St. Louis. You had even helped him get to know some of the guys on the team. You always had a solid friendship with Vince, even outside of Alex and Jayne. You would be lying if you said he wasn’t nice to look at and talk to. Besides the occasional flirty line though, things with Vince always seemed to remain platonic, not that you hadn't thought about it being more.

“So, you’re quitting?” Vince raised his eyebrows after you had updated him on your work and all its glory.

“Soon, probably,” You shrugged.

“Probably?”

“I haven’t made a decision yet,” You said. “My bills are getting paid, do I really want to play around with that?”

“I get that,” He nodded. “But, I’m a fan for not being miserable everyday. You don’t deserve that, come on.”

He leaned over, gently nudging you with his shoulder. It was an innocent gesture, but you couldn’t help the heat that rose in your neck, up to your face. You quickly scanned the bar, looking away from him to hide the flush present. Don’t worry, he definitely noticed.

“Besides work, what’s going on in your life?” He asked, waving over the bartender.

“Nothing really,” You let out a laugh.

He shook his head, “I don’t believe that.”

“Seriously,” You said. “I’ve been working nonstop lately. That’s definitely taken up all my energy.”

“You’re not seeing anyone?” You furrowed my eyebrows at him, and even harder when he began to smile. Before you could respond, the bartender spoke.

“What can I get you?” He asked Vince.

“I’ll take a beer, and whatever she’s having,” Vince motioned towards you. The bartender turned to you, and while your eyes found Vince's.

“You’re not paying for my drinks tonight, Vincent.”

“Stop calling me that,” He rolled his eyes. “And, yes I am.”

“No,” You responded. “I’m not letting you do this again.”

“Don’t worry, you can buy me a drink some other time,” He flashed a smile at you. You paused, shaking your head. "I'm not taking no for an answer."

You turned to the bartender, “I’ll have the most expensive margarita you could possibly make, thanks.”

Vince chuckled next to you, “I’ll definitely be opening up a tab then.”

“You’re annoying,” You huffed. "Every single time I see you it gets worse."

“I know,” He said. “You still never answered my question.”

“No, I’m not seeing anyone.”

“Maybe that’s because you never come out with us.”

“Maybe,” You shrugged. “Maybe not.”

“You're so secretive," He let out a laugh. "I can't want to know about your personal life? You know about mine."

"What? That you're so very lonely because you run every girl off with your games?"

He put his hand over his heart in mock pain, "That's so fucked up."

“When I get my drink, I’m going back to the table. I’ve had enough of you,” You said, smiling. Vince laughed, throwing his head back.

“You’re a trip,” He said. “I really missed you being out with us, though, honestly.”

“Yeah, I missed you guys, too,” You nodded. “I’ll be out more, I promise.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” He smiled as the bartender placed your drinks in front of you both.

“Do you want a ride later?” He asked. It wasn’t unusual for Vince to drive you home instead of Alex and Jayne. Your house was actually closer to his than theirs, which was convenient sometimes. You had figured that out one night when Alex and Jayne drove the both of you home, Vince having had too much to drink to go in an uber alone.

“I was supposed to leave with Alex and Jayne but I’m sure they’ll be all over each other like they are now,” You laughed. “Sure.”

“Okay, find me whenever you want to go.”

You nodded, sliding off the stool. “Thanks for the drink, and I’ll be sure to put the rest on your tab, too.”

He laughed, “Yeah, whatever.”

When you went back to the table, you noticed that everyone was gone. All but Colton, who was seated with a drink in front of him and his eyes glued to his phone. You continued walking over, playfully swiping your hand over his screen as you sat next to him.

“Hey,” You smiled.

“Hi,” He returned your expression, placing his phone on the table. "I didn't think we would see you so soon."

“Why are you sitting here alone?”

“The guys all left to dance and I’m not really feeling the music.”

A mix of ‘Superbass’ by Nicki Minaj was playing and your jaw dropped. “You refused to dance to this?”

He laughed, “Yes.”

“Colton, I’m disappointed in you,” You shook your head. “This is a classic!”

“I know but that doesn’t mean I have to dance to it.”

“Fair,” You thought. “Did you know I could rap the whole first verse?”

“Can you?” He raised his eyebrows, and you nodded in response. “I have to see that.”

“Probably not,” You laughed. “Definitely not.”

“Well, I can’t just take your word for it, I have to see it myself!” He defended.

“Oh, no, you’re gonna have to take my word on this one, buddy.”

“Not fair, at all,” He shook his head. “Total tease.”

“Ask me again when we’re not in a crowded bar.”

“Oh, I definitely will,” He said. “Were you at the game?”

“Yeah, you guys played really well,” You nodded.

“Yeah?”

You furrowed your eyebrows at his surprise, “You don’t think? You won.”

“Sure, but it’s not just about winning for me. I feel like I’ve been slacking in my game this season,” He admitted.

“I’m sorry, but have we been experiencing the same season?” You asked. “You have been playing amazing, everyone has been talking about your improvement.”

“Really?”

You sighed, “Colton Parayko, have some faith in yourself.”

You could see him blush at your words, shaking his head, “Stop.”

You tried to ignore the warm feeling you felt watching him, taking a sip of your drink. “You’ve been playing great, honest. I know enough about hockey to recognize that.”

“I trust your word.”

“You know what could bring your mood up?” You straightened up in your seat. “Sh-”

“-Hey, sorry to bother you guys, but my friends just went to dance and I don’t want to sit alone. Can I join you?”

“Sure, of course.” Although she was much closer to the seat next to you, she chose to sit next to Colton, immediately smiling up at him. You laughed under your breath, catching on to what she was doing.

“I think she might make you feel better,” You whispered so only Colton could hear you. “I’m Y/N, this is Colton. What’s your name?”

“Amy, it’s nice to meet you,” She said, looking directly at Colton. Colton looked over at you, amusement in his eyes.

“Uhm, yeah, you, too,” Colton responded.

“Have you guys been enjoying the music tonight? It’s kind of hard to hear it if you’re on the dancefloor, though, which sucks.”

“That reminds me, I have to find Jayne, she owes me a dance,” You said, standing up, not before smirking at Colton. “But, he was just telling me about how he really likes that Nicki Minaj song they just played. It’s one of his faves right now.”

Colton laughed, shaking his head at you as Amy turned her full attention to him.

“Have fun,” You mouthed, before you turned around to find Alex and Jayne.

They both had been watching your encounter from across the bar as soon as they saw you join him at the table.

"I fucking hate him," Jayne snapped, watching as you stood up from the table with Colton and the woman who was now thirstily hanging off of him.

"She came out of nowhere, what guy do you know is going to immediately turn someone down when they're single?"

"Someone with common sense, which Colton clearly doesn't have," Jayne said. "What do you think they talked about?"

"I couldn't really tell, she had her serious face on for a second there."

"She always has her serious face on," Jayne laughed. "What do you think we should do, babe?"

"In a few weekends, we can throw a barbecue, just for the guys and close friends. It'll narrow down the playing field for both of them."

"Not with Vince lurking around," Jayne mumbled.

"Yeah, right, Vince is getting nowhere with her," Alex rolled his eyes. "He flirts but she'd never let it get anywhere."

"I guess we can ask her," Jayne replied, just as you reached their table. "Are you having fun?"

"I'm putting my drinks on Dunn's tab so I'd say the night is going well."

"What's the deal there? What were you guys chatting about?"

"Why? Is he my perfect match?" You teased both of them. Alex rolled his eyes with a laugh while Jayne gave you a very disappointed look. "Fuck off guys, that was a joke."

"As long as you know," Alex said.

"And, we were just catching up," You shrugged. "He's driving me home later so you guys are off the hook."

"Thank god," Alex joked.

"So I should sleep with him?"

"I will murder you."

[storiesforallfandoms]

stop simping in the smp ~ swaggersouls

word count: 1340

request?: yes!

“Hey I’m not 100% sure who you write for but could I request something for Swaggersouls? Like you’re on the Epic SMP and he’s just super nice but like only to you and you go around telling everyone that he’s sweet and they’re like ‘I’m getting taxed to hell and he’s giving you stuff for free?’ And he gets called out for it? Maybe? Please?”

description: in which he gives his girlfriend preferential treatment within the smp

pairing: swaggersouls x female!reader

warnings: swearing, i don’t know a lot about minecraft or smps but i’m gonna try my best!

masterlist (one, two)

“MINX!” came the voice of your boyfriend in the next room, followed by Minx’s shocked shriek. You giggled to yourself as you continued to put together the apartment you had been given in the Epic SMP.

You weren’t one for Minecraft, you never had been, but Swagger and all of his friends as well as your fans had been begging you to join the SMP ever since you had announced that you and Swagger were together. Finally, you caved and made a character.

You soon came to learn that Swagger and Schlatt were basically the leaders of the SMP - the self appointed leaders at that. They liked to play two very greedy leaders, which included a “diamond tax” that they collected every morning in the SMP, which was what Swagger was doing in the next room to Minx.

You prepared for your own virtual door to be kicked open, however it ended up not being as violent as you expected. Instead, he politely opened the door and raced right up to you, getting his character right up in your face.

“Hi honey,” he said in an exaggerated cheerful voice. “How are you settling into the SMP?”

“Settling pretty well I think,” you responded with a chuckle. “Are you here to collect my diamond tax? Because I haven’t even mined yet.”

“Oh no, I’m not going to tax you. You’re only new to the SMP! Show me around your apartment here.”

You looked at him, suspiciously. This seemed like an act. You had a feeling once you showed him around he would find something to take for the tax. Against your better judgement, you did show him around the small place that would become your Minecraft home.

“Looks great, babe!” he said. “I’m gonna go continue my duties. Have a good day!”

He left, closing the door behind him as he went. You giggled to yourself as you went back to putting your apartment together.

After a while, you went next door and - unlike your boyfriend - politely knocked on Minx’s door. She opened it for you and allowed you to walk in.

“Hello new neighbor,” you said. “I am new to the SMP and was wondering if you could show me to the mines so I can mine and then craft.”

Minx laughed. “Yeah, I can show you. I was gonna go mining today anyways. Swagger took my last two diamonds. Do you have any tools?”

“I do not.”

“Here, you can have my old ones until you have what you need to make your own.”

She threw you an axe, a pickaxe, and a sword. You added them to your inventory and went off on your adventure to find the mines.

“So what did Swagger take from you since you didn’t have diamonds for the tax yet?” Minx asked.

“Nothing,” you responded.

“What?!” Minx stopped suddenly. “He didn’t take anything? Not even some blocks of dirt?”

You shook your head, then realized Minx couldn’t actually see you, so you figured out how to shake your character’s head instead. “I figure he’s waiting until I get diamonds before he starts taxing me.”

“That’s very unlike Swagger. He’ll tax you no matter what you have.”

The two of you continued to the mines. When you got there, you found Selma and Ethan already mining. Even though you already knew them in real life, Minx introduced you to them again as the “new resident of the SMP”.

“Get this guys,” Minx said as you started in on your mining. “Swagger didn’t tax (Y/N)!”

“Wait, not at all?” Selma asked. You shook your character’s head again. “What the fuck?! He took all the coal I had when I didn’t have diamonds! He and Schlatt still tax me and I don’t even live in the tower anymore!”

“Swagger is totally simping,” Ethan said. “He’s not taxing (Y/N) because she’s his girlfriend.”

You laughed as Minx and Selma agreed. You assured them that wasn’t true and that you were sure Swagger would start taxing you once you actually had stuff worth taxing.

To your surprise, Swagger continued to be nice to you and didn’t tax you on anything, even when you started mining diamonds. He would even make a point of taxing Minx in front of you when you would be in her apartment, but not ask you for anything.

One day, as you started up your stream and joined the SMP, you could hear Swagger in his own streaming room. He was arguing over the taxing with someone, which caused you to giggle.

“What am I about to spawn into, chat?” you asked as the loading screen popped up. Messages came in so quickly you could barley read them, but there were mainly a lot of warnings for when you entered the SMP.

You spawned into your apartment. Near seconds later, the door opened and Schlatt walked in.

“(Y/N),” he said, “please follow me to the town square.”

You held back your laughter at his seriousness as you followed him. There was a small crowd in the town square already. You recognized Swagger, Minx, Selma, Ethan, Fitz, and Ross. There was a podium in front of everyone, which Schlatt stood as once the two of you had arrived.

“Thank you all for coming,” he started. “We are gathered here today because it has been brought to my attention that my business partner, SwaggerSouls, has been committing the cardinal sin: he has been simoing in the SMP.”

The group gasped dramatically and turned to look at Swagger.

“I am not simping!” Swagger argued.

“Then why aren’t you taxing (Y/N)?” Fitz asked. “I’m being taxed to hell and he’s just letting his girlfriend live in the tower rent free!”

“She’s new!”

“She’s been playing with us for nearly two weeks!”

“Everyone calm down!” Schlatt called. “This is an easy fix. I hereby make it SMP law that no one, especially myself or Swagger, can pick favorites within the EpicSMP. Swagger, you are going to go to (Y/N)’s apartment and get the diamonds she owes us.”

Everyone started to talk at once, applauding the decision. Swagger turned to you, exchanging a look for a moment before you both started back to your apartment.

“Well, that was a great five minutes,” you joked. “I don’t think I needed to be there for that, but I’m glad I got to witness like a trial or something.”

You walked into your apartment and realized that Swagger’s character had stopped following you some time back. You looked out the windows in the tower’s hallway, trying to find out where he could’ve gone, when the door to your streaming room opened suddenly. Swagger walked in, sans his familiar chainmail and knight helmet as you usually streamed with face cam off while he was home.

“I really tried, babe,” he said as he walked closer to you. “I was trying to make it so you could live in the SMP tax free, but I guess no one else was having it.”

“Of course they weren’t,” you laughed as he leaned down to your level to wrap his arms around you. “You and Schlatt taxed the hell out of everyone, they’re not gonna be happy that you’re not taxing me. It’s partially my fault since I told Minx first that you hadn’t taxed me, but you could’ve tried to make it less obvious, too.”

“Nope, you’ve admitted to partial blame, I no longer feel bad.”

He kissed your cheek and whispered a quick, “Love you” in your ear before going back to his own room, slamming the door shut loud enough for your chat to know he was gone. Everyone started messaging about how cute it was that Swagger wanted you to join the SMP without taxing, and in general about how cute the two of you were as a couple.

“I have a feeling he’s going to be making those surprise appearances a lot when he starts having to tax me and shit,” you said to the chat.

[beej-honnecticutt]

Personally, I could argue that Mulcahy’s role in the war is one of the most important ones for a lot of people.

Of course, the surgeons and nurses save lives.

But I think it’s equally important for religious soldiers, staff, or surgeons, to heal their souls.

I’m raised catholic, so I’ve been around a LOT of catholic people in my life ( I still am, ) and so I feel like I can offer an insight on intentions that perhaps can be unconsciously overlooked.

I can’t stress enough how much it means to catholic people to receive the sacraments ( confession, communion, last rites…) It’s — perhaps — the most important thing in their lives because they believe in an afterlife, in eternal peace or eternal damnation, which depends on what they do on Earth.

( I can only speak for Christians, but they believe that their lives on Earth are just a highway to either Hell or Heaven, like a test they have to pass, and a part of that test is going through some stuff that only a priest can offer. )

I can imagine Father Mulcahy wanting to offer that mental and spiritual comfort to the people who didn’t get to choose to be there or not.

So I consider his “wanting” to be in the war to be heroic and admirable, ‘cause it’s a completely selfless act. He doesn’t get anything out of it. He doesn’t want to win the war, he doesn’t want the destruction or damnation of one side or the other, he just wants to help, however he can.

He doesn’t want to help the U.S.A win the war, but rather the people forming that big green machine.

Even though he knows his ability to help is limited to the faith of others, he still tries his best. He struggles quite a lot with that. He told Hawkeye he didn’t think he was doing any good in a specific episode — Dear sis, I believe — and Hawk said he was doing his best. Father Mulcahy wondered if that was enough, and Hawk told him: “Best is best.”

I think it’s enough to convince us of how much his presence means to everyone that Hawkeye Pierce himself ( “that crazy agnostic!” ) repeatedly tells him his job is important.

And despite him not being really sure of the change he’s making in the big picture ( which let’s be honest, it’s close to 0 ), he actually changes quite a lot in people’s lives!

A few examples come to mind: helping the kids in the orphanage all the time, that episode in which he found the penicillin they so desperately needed, when he offers advice to everyone… not to mention every time he helps in the O.R or post-op, or how he’s always ready to lend everyone a hand.

I think he doesn’t see things as “what can I do for my country? / how can I stop this war?” But rather, “what I can I do to help the individuals who have been thrown into this hellhole.”

Also I think it’s really cool how he offers different options in case he encounters someone who’s not catholic. I remember one episode in which he started reciting what I guess were the last rites to a Jew soldier in Hebrew, much to everyone’s amazement. I also recall people asking him for Orthodox or Presbyterian masses, and him obliging.

He never imposes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him judge or force anyone into religion, no matter what grave sins ( from Conservative Catholicism’s point of view ) they were committing.

He never uttered a bad word to Klinger for wearing dresses, which I can assure you is labeled as “bad” everywhere I know lmao. He never frowned upon whatever coping mechanisms people used to get through the war ( drinking, gambling, sex… ) ( except on that episode where the Cardinal was going to the camp, but he apologized at the end. )

He’s not there to judge, only to help.

He’s “love thy neighbour” personified!

And on top of it all, he always tries to put on a smile for everyone else, knowing that he’s expected to have enough faith and hope for them all.

I have personally encountered all kinds of priests, and let me tell you, one like Mulcahy changes the whole game. It changes your whole life!

Even when I had my problems with Catholicism, I could trust a certain priest I’m very fond of not to fill my head with fantasies and tales. I could ask him not to talk from religion but from experience, and he would respect it and offer me the advice I very much needed in the way that I needed it to be.

That’s the kind of priest I consider Mulcahy to be.

To conclude this ( unwanted, unasked for ) post, I think Mulcahy put himself in a terrible position. But he did it out of love for his fellow man.

It’s true Hawkeye doesn’t want to believe he’s doing the right thing, or even fighting for the good guys, seeing himself as part of the problem ( OP, I so completely agree with you on that! )

But Mulcahy’s case here is different in my opinion. He can’t do anything to stop the war, he can’t do anything to save a life ( unlike Hawk and the other surgeons and nurses ), but he can and will try offer some comfort and help in any way that he humanly can.

I have never thought that he considered himself to be better than anyone else just cause he’s in touch with The Big Guy. But still a part of his job is to believe and never doubt that he’s on the right path, which I guess can come off as being a bit of a sanctimonious, self-assured man.

So many people have benefitted from his presence in Korea and I think that, to him, makes it all worth it.

I don’t think for a second that he thinks he’s doing enough good — but he’s doing the best he can, and that will have to be enough.

( He’s a great representation of what Catholicism should be — what it should aspire to be. )

P.D: Not trying to change your mind, OP! Just wanted to share my views on Mulcahy. It got a little out of hand!😅 sorry for the long post anyone.

P.D. 2: ofc anyone’s welcome to add! I’m no expert and I’d love to hear everyone else’s thoughts!

mulcahy holding up his catholic cross like it's the universal symbol of peace (ha!) when meeting people who he assumes do not speak english vs. hawkeye doing the same thing with the red cross.

i can give hawkeye a margin because hawkeye actually does save lives whereas mulcahy thinks he's saving souls and that that's equal to or greater than what doctors do (HA!). but hawkeye's race and uniform are still symbols of western imperialism and people have a right to fear and doubt him.