#I gotta stay the whole time
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I started my first adult job last week. It’s 8am to 5pm and it’s been a week. It’s been one week. And like. I gotta do this shit my whole life????
#no but I really like the job#I Love what I’m doing#I just HATE the hours#like ffs#also the workload in an office is wayyy less than like#in a classroom#you don’t have to constantly work???#you don’t have to give 100% the entire time??#which imo is dumb af#I could get my work done in half the day#but noooo#I gotta stay the whole time#so might as well do it slowly#personal
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OUTLANDER: 100th Episode Celebration with Sam, Caitriona, David and MBR onset(x)
#outlander#outlander cast#outlandercastedit#outlander: s8#outlander: behind the scenes#caitriona balfe#sam heughan#samcait#jamie x claire#david berry#mathhew b. roberts#gifs#mine#THIS IS ALL I HAVE BEEN YELLING ABOUT ALL DAY AND IM GONNA KEEP YELLING ABOUT IT#LOOK AT THEM SO HAPPY AND ALL SMILES JUST GLOWINGGGGGG#I would absolutely risk it all for them your honor#also my favorite thing about this is the fact that their hands stayed touching with no room for jesus#and Cait's arm wrapped around Sam's waist the whole time and Sam's arm behind his back most likely holding onto her <3#SO NOW I GOTTA GO CRY AND YELL ABOUT IT SOME MORE
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there's something i need to say and yall can boo me for it but deep in my heart i'll always know i'm correct: crowley already forgave aziraphale. like already would take him back at one flutter of his eyelashes. that's all.
#do i wish he wouldn't forgive so easily (tho i don't actually think aziraphale needs forgiveness since he didn't do anything wrong and#actually without his decision their love story would've been stuck as it was for more than 6000 years and also heaven would never change#without someone dismantling it and making it new)#yes i do wish that and i also wish he'd learn self worth but we gotta be realistic here he never once been able to stay mad at aziraphale#all those times they had fights where aziraphale was (mostly) in the wrong and rejected crowley what did crowley do? immediately come#CRAWLING and BEGGING back like pls yall this is why i don't read post s2 fics bc everyone suddenly seems to forget their whole canon#personalities and history w each other and it's annoying me so much like i get that we all are hoping crowley learns from his mistakes and#stops being so easy for aziraphale (not me tho) but realistically speaking it's just not gonna happen and once again aziraphale DIDN'T. DO.#ANYTHING. WRONG. yes he hurt crowley with his decision but CROWLEY HURT HIM WITH HIS TOO so if yall wants an apology dance it's gonna turn#into a waltz cause they'd both need to do it#good omens#good omens s2#azicrow#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#ineffable spouses#good omens season 2#ineffable husbands#go s2
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Do you ever just think that Zoro - the character that always gets lost - is the one that, whenever shit hits the fan, keeps Luffy and the SHs from losing their way?!
I think about that all the time....
#zolu#zoro#Firstmate behavior#I rewatched water 7 last week and now this is all I can think about#When Luffy and Usopp argue and everyone literaly runs after Usopp and Zoro's the only one that stays with Luffy inside the room#like he only walks out after Luffy himself leaves.#And later when they find out about Robin's betrayal from her and everyone is losing their mind#Zoro's the one telling them what their options are; what they should do; and Luffy actually pays attention. He listens the whole time.#I gotta pick up my old zolu water 7 draft that arc is insanity#§mine#text
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it just idea .......
#not art (yet) babeyy#had the thought of '' ogh hyperfem barbarian!fig'' the other day and. well thats another design set#and adaine's our Hoodie Kid™ this time#but the specifics of these silhouettes are kinda tricky#esp. with adaine and like. how to differentiate her and gorgug (who still wears a hoodie the normal way in freshman year)#still straight up have No idea what fabian and kristen look like yet...#they and riz are like the self-seekers coming into this freshman year and riz true to form looks like Nothing. just Absolute Squat#so it makes a Little sense if they go that way too. but thats like. idk I dont foresee that being visually interesting#no actually I dont think I can make kristen look like just some guy if I actively try. so we'll see about her#just thinking a little bit abt adaine showing up at school with a bag full of clothes she can change into so shes not wearing#the damn hudol uniform the whole day. but no second pair of shoes so she's wearing That with the mary janes#fig offers to switch shoes with her every day at school until adaine ends angwyn's life#(still gotta actually put it down on paper but I dont think fig stays hyperfem the whole way thru I think kristen is her awakening to#more aesthetics. which is funny bc I think kristen is the most Character character of them all. shes like naruto shes got a closet#of just the same pieces)#(this is a liittle bit informed by my exmo friend's stories. but also its an adhd thing sometimes. from experience)
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I've been thinking a lot about TNG's The Measure of a Man today, and how those kinds of episodes where they debate what it means to be a person are so important. The themes and arguments in the episode have been used throughout history to justify treating people as less than, and showing how the arguments can work in favor of existing injustice helps people recognize it when it's happening on a smaller scale: in the classroom, in the workplace, on the street, in everyday interactions. I think it's very important so that we can recognize the tactics that are being used against people and how easily the wrong narrative can take hold. We can debate philosophy forever, but if we're not still engaging in the moral conversations and implications of those philosophical ideas, then it's all for naught. If we can't engage with our own history of slavery, oppression, and injustice in a meaningful way, then the structures are upheld and the discrimination continues, with historical groups and new ones that emerge. What does it mean to be a person? How far do you go to stand up for another's personhood when push comes to shove and your ass is on the line?
Looking through a similar lens in Voyager's Distant Origin, what happens to the dissenting voices? The ones who stand up against history and doctrine, saying this isn't right and this isn't how it happened? Are they silenced by coercion or other means? Do they stand up for what is correct in the face of personal ruin? It's an especially important consideration in cultures that tend to be more individualistic than collectivist, as the US is. Do you sit and do as you're told, whatever it takes not to stand out among the crowd? Do you do the work to recognize the powers that are in play and structures that have existed since before your lifetime?
There are so many instances in the episodes where they debate morality -- they explore ideas relating to privilege and opportunity, systems of oppression and what it means to do the right thing. Even in an idealistic future, doing the right thing is difficult. Refusing to engage with the conversation and continue exploring those harder truths that fight with our social conditioning is an issue.
I just really appreciate that they were willing to explore those moral arguments, even if they basically end up being conference room episodes. Science fiction really lends itself well to those kinds of stories and can help start shifting paradigms of thinking. These stories can provide the impetus to thought then to action -- right now, right now, right now
#guess whose diversity/equity/inclusion background decided to throw a wrench into the whole afternoon and evening#i have been at a level 11 for hours#anyway i'm gotta have to talk to a PI and not like dixon hill status#idk last time i was involved in an investigation i was lowkey fired#but this time i'm actually 1000% more invested in the outcome because it's some racist bullshit#this is the way i think about practically everything but i rarely write down my thoughts lately#there are mega serious things happening in both the world and my life and i'm grasping onto the side of a starship trying to stay alive idk#meta#melts into oblivion
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there is something so crazy about the cognitive dissonance between 50% of my online art presence coming from self portraits of my own body in a resting position, where it's received specifically as fat art, people refer to it as body positive / plus sized (or sometimes bbw content. it's whatever), the notes are like yeeesss this made me feel so good abt my body, stretch marks rolls etc fat women are beautiful 🙌🙌 and then I take a picture Standing Upright, and then some of Same people who have literally Seen My Body Before go ummm... what tha hell. you are LITERALLY thin ?! you are literally doing this.
#(sits down and lays down) fat body#(stands up straight) thin body#...OKAY?#the pounds didn't change between these two positions#and neither have my lifelong experiences of living in This Body#girl these are the SAME WOMEN. I stay fat while sitting standing walking laying down etc. I know it's hard to understand.#like oh thank god you identified it for me. apparently I must've been drawing thin women this whole time too#like you have gotta try harder to not be so annoying.#you've GOT to.#sergle answers#i'm not 'thin' you're just not used to seeing my torso. but can you come w me to see my doc. maybe he'll stop encouraging me to lose weight
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OMORITOBER DAY 14: LIBRARY
i like to imagine spirit mari tossing down her favorite memories for omori to read while peeking around to see omori's reaction :3
i was thinkin of drawing her too, but honestly i wasnt very sure what pose to do and i was a bit tired !!
thanks to @/ntrogensolar for the omoritober prompt list!
extra rant in the tags ab why this isnt a full piece!
#artists on tumblr#omori#omori fanart#omoritober#inktober#ez_draws#ez_rants#so heres the deal#i get very tired easily with the whole onyl certain amount of 'spoons' per day thing#i spend most of my time doing my homework#and after that i feel like ive gotta finish the drawing for the day#this means i subconsiously sacrifice time doing things that i truly wanna do including spending time with my friends and doing other things#if i prioritize doing the things that i want to do a little more than this challenge#it ends with me kiiinnddaaa staying up pretty late trying to finish the art#and also lower quality art in general!#however i dont wanna quit the challenge just yet; we'll see how things go but for now i was thinking just doing a sketch! it allows me to-#still do a daily drawing which is great for someone who sometimes goes months without drawing and still not burning myself out on the dail#for example - this drawing took about an hour even though i took my time! and i was also able to spend time with friends and family and-#still be productive! i know i dont have to explain myself; its my art after all but yk i like to explain stuff especially when in relation#to my art! i wanna make sure the art i make is something i truly enjoy and not a plaguing responsibility- so i'll be adapting this-#challenge to my own needs! anyway thats all- sorry for the long rant! and congrats to the people who have enough time and motivation to do#the full challenge!!!#ok byebyeee! and i might be posting more silly sketches in my free time!#rant over <3
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confiding
#ffxiv#ffxiv wol#shadowbringers#shadowbringers spoilers#ocs#oc: yesui#it’s only impliedish but this does hinge on you being a Knower so#gotta draw more yesui and exarch stuff. the people must know.#essentially after getting accidentally brought back to life by him kinda#she went well since i can’t protect kiril right now i might as well throw myself at the next best thing: this guy#and despite the exarch telling her she’s free to go and she by no means has to stay w him at all times#it takes a while for her to be like wow. i can … do that….#cue her cryptid arc around the crystarium#she ends up assigning like. the whole crystarium as her charge#side note. she’s like. i have to devote myself to protecting [insert thing here] or else I don’t know what to do with myself#so a whole city rather than one person is honestly big steps for her good job#oh also she was another reason why it was so hard to grab kiril’s soul#bc she was actively batting the exarch away from it until he managed to snag her#so she was the last person to get mistakenly sent to the first#anyways that’s all my yesui lore for tonight good night
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2024 Chinese Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso
#hello here are your daily old man gifs!!!#every time im like no no i shant gif this no one will care#he always sucks me back in w his cute face#i just love his polite listening smile ITS SO CUTEEEE#this is MY race debrief#anyways about the race itself#im still a bit sad about the whole strat thing like agh idk if he could have done any better if not#but it was really so much fun to see him cut thru the pack like that at the end with fresh tires#it just felt so effortless and it was so hot. especially that part where he almost completely wiped out but saved it so easily???#but ofc the best part was the unintentional war criminal lockup#apparently it wasnt fully his fault but nah im blaming it on him cause its so funny#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#we do a little bit of f1#2024 chinese gp#also man aston takes so long to upload their fernando debrief vid#i wanna stay up for it cause i missed the other one and it was too far gone to gif#so i wish i could catch it but ah i gotta sleep its so late
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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐
#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um#so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of#which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time#but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work#BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one#i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule#so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule#and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one#sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me#sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore#n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr#i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT#I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO#like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days#but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2#BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there#bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a#trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION#im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like#we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up#i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING#i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid
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The urge to not go to work today is very strong… 😴😴
#mine#text post#I’m just so sleepy 🥺#I wanna stay curled up in my warm bed#but instead I gotta be an adult and go make money#😩😩😩#gonna grumble about it the whole time I’m getting ready#at least it’s Friday
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i might've fucked up -.-
#idk what's wrong with me#god im so tired of being stressed all the time and im tired of it#just being fully my fault ugh why do i keep fucking up this entire uni thing#im just so stressed i freeze and i don't do the things i have to do i dont send documentation#i didnt sign up for ANY class yet because i just couldnt get myself to look at them and i think i fucked everything up and its going to#be a whole thing#idk i would just rather stay at home and do nothing but i cant so i gotta go#but i feel sick at the thought ugh#i dont feel any energy to do any assignments of even go to class already and im not even there im still at home#ughhhhhhhhhhhhh#im so tiredd i cant do this#i have to pack and i cant get myself to do it either#vent#sorry sorry sorry#i need to talk about it i cant talk to anyone here cause ill just get yelled at or something my fam doesnt get it it just makes me#feel worse ughhhh#idk if i should even go#i feel like im wasting people's time and money and my own sanity just to underachieve and feel like shit all the time but the one thing#that therapist told me was that i shouldn't drop out because it's gonna solidify my views that im constantly failing at everything so this#has been one of the main reasons im still trying idk maybe itll do something one day#but heyy if i keep at it maybe next month my uni will give me money so i can go to a psych appointment or something#tho tbh the more i think about it the worse i feel about THAT like yeah i feel like shit but i feel like if just was better and stronger an#less lazy i could do it all easily
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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"It's about time you found each other." ASSASSIN'S CREED VALHALLA [2020] dev. Ubisoft
#ac valhalla#assassin's creed valhalla#eivor varinsdóttir#eivor wolfkissed#aartyom#videogameedit#gamingedit#vg: assassin's creed valhalla#c: eivor wolfkissed#c: stowe#c: erke#p: mine#mine: ac valhalla#valedits#eivor dsvjisdbvkd baby girl they were so obvious#i can't believe the first thing i did when i reached lunden was flirt with stowe#some clown behaviour#i hope they stay happy dksfbcd i was cackling the whole time they said anything that obvious#also gotta say a dane and an englishman canoodling in a church??#in front of god's salad??#they deserve the world
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i'm spinning in circles and giggling maniacally. i'm working on a super SUPER ambitious silver animatic and i've made so much PROGRESS i'm so EXCITED!!!!! i started it just abt a week ago and i finished the full rough pass in 2 days and by now, i have 40/60 shots fully sketched out. i want. blinks. i want to fully color it. i'm GIDDY
#hush catríona#i will be damned if silver doesn't get a big ambitious project. that's my THING. head in my hands#if i dont use my industry skillz for fandom good then what was the POINT of it all. i hate boarding but this is NECESSARY#if i stay on schedule i should have all sketches done by EOD thursday. then its clean/color and then i gotta relearn how to edit it togethe#i posted the rough unlisted on youtube for my friends on priv to see and i think its gonna come out good!!! im DERANGED i wont shut up abt#the whole thing is lettie's fault btw. we talked MONTHS ago abt a song so perfect for silver and i finally got a burst of inspo to DO it#and by inspo i mean that i realized my storyboard pro license expires the 27th and if i wanted to hash it out then i was running outta time
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