#I got it all yesterday- after A YEAR without logging. I GOT ALL OF THIS LOL-

[sadstrever]

i’m still 114lbs. i feel sick. yesterday was an awful day, i came home and had an out of body chew and spit session. i wish there was more research on this part of ed’s, or just more people who talked about it because i can’t be alone in this. i refuse to believe i’m the only sick person who does disgusting shit like this. anyways the reason why i call it an out of body experience is because it’s almost like binging-just without all the swallowing of food. i came home and immediately started doing it and filled up 1 and 1/2 2 liter bottles with food. i spent 5 hours doing this without even realizing and pretty much emptied out my whole families fridge. the guilt i felt afterwards was worse than a binge in my opinion. not only did i totally waste SO MUCH food, make a huge mess, ended up with disgusting bottles of mush in my room, i also have to face the consequences of my family coming home to an empty fridge. but when they got home they were happy that i “ate.” god i’m such a fucking piece of shit.

anyways after all that i took 4 laxatives to try and get the guilt of wasting the food out of me. i woke up in the morning today in terrible pain but still had to go to class, cuz what am i supposed to tell my parents? “yeah i haven’t eaten in almost a month and basically just threw all the food we have out in the trash and i also took 4 laxatives, can i please stay home tehe?” so i went to 1 class and ended up leaving because the pain was so excruciating. straight from class i went to the gym and somehow burnt 900 calories because i guess that’s what guilt does to me. i had to take the bus 2 hours home afterwards(bus delays and i went to a new further gym location this time), high out of my mind. i’m home now and my stomach hurts but the laxatives finally did their job. i don’t want to keep doing this. 4 years ago i said i’d recover and then i didn’t. since then i’ve forgotten about recovery (with the exception of a few random moments here and there that i block out immediately), i am so used to living in this fucking misery that i didn’t realize how abnormal my reality is. i don’t want to be a bad person anymore. but i can’t stop lol.

this is what bothers me about the girls who romanticize this disorder SO MUCH, when much of the time they haven’t realized how difficult it can become. i know i’ve done this, even now sometimes as a coping mechanism. but man, i’m sick of it.

i have a friend who writes poetry and she wrote a poem about eating disorders that make me so fucking angry. the thing is, i’ve known her for years and she’s always had the best relationship with food out of most of the people i know. she’s naturally pretty thin(not too thin but normal) and she’s very open about her struggles. i know every single one of her stories, i know she’s diagnosed with adhd. that’s HER disorder, that i don’t understand so i DONT write fucking POETRY about it. a few months ago she kind of forced me into opening up about my eating disorder. after i did, suddenly she started writing these stories about her eating disorder-very very very suspiciously similar to mine. i obviously didn’t tell her everything but i told her about how long this has been going on and just my emotions about it. seeing her start to adapt my fucking disorder into her poetry disgusted me. she glamorized the fuck out of it and made me feel so stupid for ever opening up about it. she’s naturally skinny so she got a bunch of support from our friend group from it and i’m just upset man. i’m sick of living in misery while other people can use the idea of living in pain for attention.

i promised my best friend that in 3 weeks i’ll go back to therapy and try my best to recover. it’s not true. man it’s never fucking true. it’s never fucking over. unlike ms.deep-poetry-girl i can’t just fucking write this and log off and then eat a good warm meal and talk to my parents without them mentioning my body. i can’t wake up tomorrow morning and hug them without worrying that they’re gonna feel my bones. i can’t wear shorts anymore without people noticing the bruises. i can’t go to school and keep my focus because i have nothing to feed my brain. i can’t let anyone get close because soon enough they’ll be just like YOU. OR they’ll hate me for not wanting to get better. i can’t love myself like you do because of the disgusting things i do each day. i can’t wake up thinner and suddenly stop hating myself. FUCK YOUUUUUUUU GOD IM SO SICK OF IT GOD. whatever im done. just sick and tired.

[mel-is-genderfluid]

-Yeah....... Maybe I'm back with Crk...?

[goldkirk]

.

[tender-rosiey]

from me to you — gojo satoru x f!reader

a/n: this takes place in chapter 268, soo sort of spoilers ahead? also long live gojo satoru; gojo leaves you a letter 🙏

“y/n-sensei, there is a letter for you as well!”

that catches your attention, and you look up at the first years. you tilt your head slightly, and yuuji hands you an envelope.

you gently take it from him, and the first thing you notice is “wifey” written on it then the doodle of satoru with his blindfold on. you feel your throat tighten, and your hands shake slightly.

you let out a small breath then shakily open the letter.

hey, honey!!

it first reads.

I feel like there is still much I didn’t tell you in our last meeting, so here I, your beautiful and handsome husband, am writing them down.

you swallow lightly, and a small smile appears on your face as you imagine satoru saying that, then you continue to the next line.

first, I changed all your computer passwords to variations of “satoruisthebest” at one point. your confusion was so cute!!

you quirk an eyebrow at the admission, but when you rack your brain, you remember that one day when you couldn’t log into your computer.

what you vividly remember was satoru being sat beside you the whole time, and now that you think about it. he was smiling so widely the entire time, letting out small chuckles every now and then. oh, that sneaky man.

“satoru, I am telling you it’s broken!”

“sweetheart, we spent over 2000$ on that. if it broke, then we could easily sue the company,” he chuckled, arm wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you closer.

“2 year guaranteed top performance my ass!”

you smile at the memory. it was pretty satoru of him to do that. your eyes then move to continue reading.

second, there are times when I would tell megumi that you would be coming with me, then he would turn and leave me when he found out I was tricking him.

your eyes glance up at said boy who is sat across of you. he made it out alive, despite everything. he suffered so much, but he made it.

it makes you relieved, and you can imagine satoru being bloody proud of him and saying something along the lines of ‘you handed sukuna’s ass to him, very cool!’

no matter how much megumi had frowned and grimaced at satoru’s presence or antics. it rooted itself as something—safe and familiar.

you can’t count on your hands the times when you and satoru would visit the siblings, and nobody really said it, but these meetings did all of you a favor, a chance to kind of wind down. maybe act like death might actually not be looming tomorrow.

it feels like just yesterday when megumi would cling to you when he got really sad or nervous, after so much time spent getting comfortable with each other.

he grew up well, you think, eyes gliding to next.

third, I hid your uniform every two to three weeks, so you have to stay with me.

at that, your eyes widen a bit. satoru’s schedule was pretty packed, but he somehow managed to squeeze time for quality time between you two.

it tugged on your heartstrings, and you made sure he knew how much you appreciated it, not a single space on his face left without a kiss. however, finding out that he went out of his way to make you rest and stay.

satoru’s care really showed in his actions, and you feel like this is the biggest proof of it.

“satoru, have you seen my uniform?”

“nope! maybe, it is a sign to stay home today? you’ve been working so hard, wifey!”

you cupped his face, pulled him down to your height, and kisses his cheek, “you’ve been working harder, ‘toru. let me take off some of the load at least.”

“we could both stay!”

“you’re kidding, right?”

“I already told yaga; I miss you!”

you try to stop the reminiscing further and try to compose yourself before reading the rest.

fourth, I’m the one who kept adjusting the thermostat. I just wanted an excuse to cuddle.

a fond yet melancholy smile appears on your face. you kinda figured that one out. satoru’s favorite pastime was cuddling, so it’s no surprise that he would go out of his way to create the need for it even further.

add to that, once you went to get some green tea and saw him from the corner of your eye teleport to the thermostat, click something, then teleport back to bed.

you figured that the room being chilly that night was not an exception in the middle of july.

“babeeee, it’s so cold! let’s cuddle!”

“maybe the problem is with the thermostat?”

“I checked! I think cuddling is the best solution.”

you giggle as you recall the moment, one of many similar. your heart feels a bit lighter as you go through the letter. something satoru managed to always do even in person.

he would plaster sticky notes, get you trinkets, and even pull pranks on other just to see you smile. feeling more encouraged, you keep on reading the letter.

then you feel your chest constrict so tightly that you might just throw up.

fifth, I am really gonna fucking miss you.

you read the line over again, and you purse your lip in hopes of silencing any noise that may come out as you feel the lump in your throat return, even worse than before. your breathing starts getting more difficult.

your grip on the letter tightens, and you find yourself thinking back to the good times. memories of late nights spent in each other’s arms, thinking about everything and nothing at once.

hushed whispers of confessions and quiet giggles as you reminisced on your highschool days. tight hugs when recalling the sad moments and the departure of a certain someone.

“you know, y/n, I think we might just be made for each other,” he said one night. you hummed and looked him in the eyes.

“three am thoughts?”

“three am admissions,” he grins slightly, “I am made for you, and you’re made for me.”

you remember him pulling you closer and kissing your forehead, while you teased, “and what would you need little old me for, so much that I got made?”

he feigns thinking then closes his eyes, burying his face in your shoulder, “grounding me.”

I love you. I really do, but you should know that already, right?

your eyes drift down to the corner of the paper, and that is when you feel your tears start free-falling. there is drawn a chibi satoru besides a chibi you and between them is a heart.

the chibi satoru is giving yours a big smooch, while she laughs. you never thought that the day your jealousy burns would be because of drawings, and drawings of you and your own husband, nonetheless.

“but wow, gojo-sensei is shit at writing letters,” you hear nobara remark.

megumi responds with a small chuckle, “I am fine with mine.”

“what about you, y/n-sensei?—”

the trio becomes silent as you let out a sob. a watery smile makes its way up your face as you kiss the letter gently and murmur, “so shitty.”

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do not copy or plagiarize or I will tell @callmemirro

check out my buy me a coffee!

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

MIDNIGHT CINDERELLA MEMORIAL POST

The Midnight Cinderella app will be closed on Monday August 26th, 2024 (5 PM JST). The English version was actively updated from 2014 to 2021 when Cybird announced the ceasing of operations for MidCin, but the app remained accessible until today. I'm sure I'm not the only one who mourns the loss of it even after all these years of discontinuation, so I wanted to put together a post to properly say goodbye to it. Trying my best not to make it all too sappy - I'd rather look at it as a show that reached its final episode. Some things might be left unresolved but in the end, you remember the cast and the emotions they made you feel more than the actual plot. Nowadays there arguably may be better titles by Cybird out there, but for me, the simplicity of MidCin was what made the details so memorable.

1. VIDEO - POV: You're playing Midnight Cinderella (for 10 minutes)

The 10-minute version (without sound) is accessible via the link above (opens in Google Docs) This one I was really excited about recording! It's just your normal day playing midcin, I'm sure many will find it nostalgic and comforting. You log in, claim your daily bonus (I used the chance to do a present box reveal, 90+ items, many of which you might recognize from route grace checks), play the garden gacha (in my case, I used up all the points I had accumulated, 7800 which equals 39 solos), do your princess lessons, change your avatar, greet your friends, read 1/5 of today's free story parts, check the ranking and your stats, look at your memories directory. The video has no sound, as the game wouldn't let me turn it on (you will see me try to do so throughout the video...) but later on I got it to work so I recorded a one-minute video (the one imported above) of me replenishing stamina just for those iconic sound effects that you either loved or absolutely couldn't stand the volume of, haha.

2. A Midnight Cinderella playlist (spotify link)

While I wasn't there for the early days of midcin, the songs I associated with the game almost always captured this very specifically nostalgic 90s-10s period, you'll see what I mean. Many of those are taken from 8track playlists dedicated to Midnight Cinderella, and if I'm not mistaken you can still look at what is left of them if you search them up. Others are just my very random interpretations of the route stories and the characters.

3. Fic recommendations

We have a lovely community of creatives and there are still so many works left behind which you can check out on the tags! But especially for fics I wanted to list some that truly touched me during the years (all links open in ao3) -

i'm on fire and its NSFW bonus scene bloodstream by a deleted user - words are not enough for this one. It's like it meant more than Nico's whole route for me at one point, and the songs are forever in my heart as Nico songs...

MidCin Works by DBMidCin (SoftSen) - ALL of these. This is my go-to collection of writings for midcin when I start to miss the game, it has a little bit of everything. The headcanon of Giles teaching his girls French for instance is one of the things I still remember reading like it was yesterday!

Bedroom Etiquette (NSFW) by RubyLeeRay - Because this is the dream. Doing something forbidden with your tutor Giles is the ultimate fantasy, I swear. I just love it.

And of course, many, many more. There are currently 166 works on the midcin tag in Ao3, and I'm sure there are a lot of hidden gems here on tumblr as well! Reminder that writers LOVE it when you interact with their old works, it's not weird, you shouldn't hesitate doing so if you find yourself enjoying any of them! <3

4. My own humble collection of MidCin writings on my writing blog @xxsycamore!

Maid, Butler, Chamberlain (NSFW) - Nico x MC with Giles joining them

Grabbles: 💋 Demand for a kiss, right here, right now (GILES); 👔 Stealing their clothes to cuddle when you miss them (BYRON); more coming soon as there are still some in my askbox and I plan on including midcin in future short writings request openings too.

Shared Moments (NSFW) - Nico x Reader - Secret relationship

Ice-cold heat (NSFW) - Byron x Reader - Temperature play

Double the Surprise - Alyn and Leo birthday fic

Leo Crawford having a misadventure with a cat (ao3 link) - crack fic featuring most of the suitors

5. Out of context Midnight Cinderella screenshots

This is a sideblog of mine dedicated to posting out-of-context funny screenshots that I took while playing the routes - @oocmidcin . If you have some of your own that are not on there, you're free to submit them and add to the archive!

6. The perfect MidCin song - The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives

When I first discovered this song back in 2020 I dreamed of making it into a midcin music video with simplistic art and animations... It ended up being just something you daydream in detail about while in the car, but that's alright. I could at least share my vision with you! Disclaimer, this is just an interpretation and obviously it can't fit all characters ideally - In the brackets, I explain how the lyric is related to them and usually it reveals their backstories. Some of the details I've already forgotten, sorry if it's inaccurate.)

Tell me once again

I could have been anyone, anyone else

Before you made the choice for me

(Giles - his family making the choice for him since birth and later disowning him once he failed to become a knight due to his illness)

My feet knew the path

We walked in the dark, in the dark

I never gave a single thought to where it might lead

(Nico - wandering the streets with his mother once they were thrown out of Stein castle because she was a commoner having an affair with Byron's father, the King)

All those empty rooms

We could have been anywhere, anywhere else

Instead I made a bed with apathy

(Robert - the empty rooms of the once flourishing palace of the country that Robert ruled and led to demise, nowadays becoming a mere court painter)

My heart knew the weight

Ten years' worth of dust and neglect

We made our peace with weariness and let it be

(Leo - the years in which Alyn didn't speak to him, after the death of their parents)

The moon will sing a song for me

I loved you like the sun

Bore the shadows that you made

With no light of my own

(Albert - loyally standing in king Byron's shadow)

Name your courage now

We could have had anything, anything else

Instead you hoarded all that's left of me

(Sid - his relationship with his fiance that he agreed upon just to find out more about his parents by getting close to her father)

Swallowing your doubt

Like swords to the pit of my belly

I want to feel the fire that you kept from me

(Alyn - searching for answers about the murder of his family and the fire that burnt down their home)

I shine only with the light you gave me

(I could have been anyone, anyone)

(Louis - being a nobody and MC being his sun)

7. It goes on

I went to read what I could of chapter 4 of Rayvis' route, using my last two chapter tickets as well, thinking it won't make me cry. And then I'm hit with those familiar things.

So let's close this with a word about the things that never change in the universe of Midnight Cinderella.

Stumbling down the grand staircase and right into the arms of somebody. Escaping the palace at midnight with Nico's help. Sitting at breakfast with Giles giving you your schedule for the day. Nico's teasing little smile as he accompanies you everywhere and listens to your relationship troubles. The way he's just a little suspicious at times. Finding Robert painting in the garden of Wysteria palace. Going to the room of your chosen suitor for the first time and meeting a pet there. Leo teaching you history and politics in his office. Dance lessons with Louis. Needing those dance lessons because King Byron is coming to Wysteria and a ball is going to take place. The bureaucrats being unhappy with you as a princess elect, no matter what. Galloping on a horse with Alyn who just protected you from an enemy attack. Getting information from a certain flirty merchant at a bar. Albert bickering with Nico, Sid teasing Louis. Being introduced to Archduke Herneit at Stein castle. King Byron appreciating the night sky. The sight of your yellow and orange princess elect room where on the large bed with its blue bedframe and tall see-through canopy you lie awake and think about the events of the day and how would a wise future Queen of Wysteria deal with the current situation. But ultimately you fall asleep, hearing the melancholically beautiful sounds of a violin coming from somewhere deep within your dream, and leave it all to the following day.

Thank you for everything, Midnight Cinderella!

08/26/2024

[fanartlover1234]

SKIP

Y/n and Hook are dating but he has to make up for forgeting their anniversery

All day long Hook couldnt think of a rrason of why his sweet Y/n was off and kind of cold to him, her respones were short and she shyed away from his touch.

He decided maybe she just didnt feel like talking untill he walked to his room to find a little box on his bed with a little note that said 'happy one year' and he felt like driving a his hook through his head, how could he forget.

He opened the box to find a medalion in shape of heart and opening there was a picture of them both.

》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《

"Im not ditching class with you" Y/n said trying to get away from her boyfriend not wanting to let him convince her as she was still hurt by yesterday.

She without noticing fell into a slower pace as her boyfriend slowly walked backwards infront of her trying to meet her eyes.

"Class happens everyday, this one doesnt?" He asked still trying to find his way into her gaze.

Y/n noticed he didnt have his hook with him so he must have left it in hurry, i mean he practicly ran to her.

"I cant fall behind" she said coming to a stop and finaly meeting his eyes.

Her eyes looked down when his hand rested on her hip, giving it a little squeeze.

"Ill help you study" he said and she rolled her eyes knowing his version of study when he pulls her on to his lap when she would try to memorize something, he smirked when he saw her expresion.

He smirked even harden when she lowered her gaze, shuffling from one leg to another, a thing she did when she got nervous under his gaze.

"I have a test soon" she mumbled a excuse even she didnt believe enymore.

Hook moved the hand on her hip to hrr waist and pulled her into an empty hallway.

"Ja-" she froze when on of his hamds fell under her jaw squeezing just a little to make her lips part as his other hand fell on her waist.

He kissed her softlt making her brain log as he pulled her close.

One kiss led to another and soon a little moan when he pushed his leg betweem hers and he squeezed her neck and he gasp letting his tounge dance in her mouth.

And when the sixth kiss came, James laughed when his sweet girlfriend jumped because of the bell for class.

"Great now im late" she mumbled.

"Well not that you are late anyways" he said playing with her hair and squeezing her hip as he smirked whem her eyes tried to avoid his, a ting she did after a kiss "you can come with me now"

"James" she said with a small pout he found very cute as her doe eyes looked at him a bit annoyed "im going to class"

"Love, please just come with me it will be worth your time" he said.

"Class is important to me"

"This is more important" he said taking a hold of her waist and draging her with him but when she still refused he picked her up bridal style to carry her there.

》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《

What Hook had to show Y/n was truly nice, a picnik by the enchanted lake while watching the fairy blossoms open up for summer.

Hook had apologized for forgeting their 1 year but promised to never let it happen again no matter what.

Now Y/n was studying by her table catching up on astrology classes she missed, taking notes she borrowed from Bridget to copy.

Hook was laying on her bed, he'd be lying if he said his sweet Y/n studying wasnt a turn on.

"You said you will help me" Y/n said turning to see her boyfried only to quickly turn away and look at her notes at the sight of her boyfriend with no shirt.

Its not like she hasnt seen him shirtless before, they had fucked so she could never understand why she still grew shy at the sighy of it.

Hook chuckled as he leaned hisbhead to the side to see the sides of her cheeks a bit pink, his eyes trailing down to her thighs that were clenching together.

"I am"

"No you are not"

Hook got up walking over to where she sat placing both hands on the table at either side of her body.

"Fine. Let me help you now" he whispered and smirked seeing her legs start to rub together.

"With flashcards?"

"Later. For now" he said steping back and turing her chair around as he kneeled before her on one knee " id prefer if those pretty thighs clenched around me"

As those words left his lips, Y/ns face turned shades darker in red as her hands flew up to cover her face.

Y/n was never the one to admit she was horny or needed him, Hook just simply knew how to read her body language.

Hook got up reaching for her hands to pull them away so he could look her into eyes.

"No need to be embaressed darling" he said before kissing her " i got you" he said before his lips trailed down her neck.

His fingers slowly unbottoned her shirt before his lips latched to the top of her breast slowly going down to her skirt.

He lifted her up as he walked to the bed before his lips kissed her flods over her panties.

》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《

Y/n floped down breathing hard, het legs giving out when Hook finaly pulled out of her.

His fingers ran up her pussy as he spread the folds and toyed with the clit a big more.

"James"

"Im making it up to you, just one more love" he said before sucking her clit before going up to kiss her as he pushed hia dick back unside bow going in a god like pace.

Y/n s eyes rolled back as Hook braught his finger to her mouth and she gladly sucked them while she was on her 8th orgasm this night.

When Hook felt the girls last orgasm he pushed his fingets down making her gag a bit.

》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《

"Im sorry darling" Hook said again as he kissed the girls shoulder.

"Its okey"

Not my original idea, saw a post and loved it so gave it my twist.

Original idea belonhs to @giveityourworst and i love their work

[99liners]

hello there :)

got an kaiho!jeongguk ask in your plate.

Just read the drabble and I honestly feel so enraged, this man needs some tight fierce kick from his wife.

Can it be like she makes him 'feel' sorry without him realising like it's a natural instinct, he gets a cold shoulder from her, she looks blank and lifeless, no reaction, he keeps on doing little things to make up for the fuck up. Though it's a big expectation from him he's kaiho! jeongguk but we can't ignore the fact that he loves her like crazy too.

It's like he warms up seeing her with their son, forcing out a smile for the little one. He notices the scars and bruises he gave her. Then it ends into a make up sex.

Don't expect a big reaction from him but this needs a healing drabble for the aching heart of oc.

have a good day/night 🤝🏻🥺

Anonymous asked: What are aeira thoughts about jjk after the drabble thingy

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

opus kaiho, drabble number 1.5 / tatemae series 建前:

pairing: detective!jeon jeongguk x trophy!wife reader extra character(s): kim tanaz (enouement) genre: angst, smut, a bit of fluff for our wounded hearts, marriage!au, age-gap!au (7 years). words: 4.338 warnings: hurt, toxic relationship, lots of baby kento cause we deserve it, breastfeeding, make-up sex, soft sex, fingering, orgasm (f), cowgirl position, missionary position, unprotected sex. original one-shot: kaiho continuation of: ➴ opus kaiho, drabble number 1 part of: tatemae; 建前 — a bts series

jeongguk watched for a while from the doorframe, watched as your body kept slumping down from the fatigue but you straightened up your back every time and kept sitting quietly, your fingers caressing kento's cheek while he continued feeding.

when kento's eyes started closing from the sleep, jeongguk walked away to the bedroom to wait for you.

five minutes passed, then ten minutes passed too but you were not coming back. curious, jeongguk stood up from the bed and headed to the nursery only to find kento in his crib, sleeping snuggly with his soft toys while you had fallen asleep on your knees leaning on the side of the crib. passed out would be a better term.

sighing, your husband made his way to your limp body, careful to not wake up his toddler. he picked you up gently before heading to your shared bedroom.

laying you down on your side of the bed, he switched off the lights and walked to the living room, to have another drink.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

jeongguk must have fallen asleep on the couch in the living room as he woke up with a heavy head. last night's scotch did a number on him. the rays of sunlight felt like small needles piercing through his irises. letting a soft groan, he tried to raise his left arm to cover his eyes from the invading sun when he felt the presence of a blanket on him. he did not sleep with one. his eyes opened in a snap, small black orbs still trying to adjust to the brightness in the room when he pieced it together that you must have put the blanket on him.

after all he did last night, all that he put you through, all that he made you endure — you still had the humanity left in you put a blanket on him.

pushing the blanket off him, he sat up when his feet planted on one of kento's squeaky toys making a loud noise. he retracted his feet at once, cursing at himself but his features softened when he heard kento's laugh from another room. the toddler appeared from his nursery, crawling his way to locate the noise and on seeing his father he quickened up his pace. bam came up behind him, his always on-duty babysitter. as far as jeongguk remembers he had dropped off bam at the kennel yesterday when he first realized that you had run away. the kennel keeper must have returned the sweet boy while he was sleeping like a log.

jeongguk stood up and walked over to pick up the toddler, "hey buddy, where's mum?" he looked around for his wife, his eyes searching the bedroom hallway.

kento's small wrist clasped around jeongguk's sweatshirt drawstrings, tugging at them as he babbled some ineligible sounds, to which jeongguk let a chuckle.

it was almost time for him to leave for work so he walked with the toddler towards his bedroom when he heard the faint sounds and understood that you are taking a shower. you must have kept kento in his playing space on the nursery floor with bam on guard before going to the bathroom.

jeongguk put kento down in the middle of the bed, bam followed and sat down beside the toddler, his body shielding him from the open end of the bed. knowing it was safe to look away, jeongguk quickly freshened up and dressed up in his work gear. he was putting his jacket on when you finished washing up and stepped out of the bathroom.

"where is my badge," your husband mumbled under his breath, looking around the nightstand.

patting dry your hair with a towel, you could see that the badge was in kento's hands; the toddler tugging at its chain, but you kept quiet and feigned a blind eye.

after checking all the drawers, jeongguk turned around and saw kento playing with his badge, "hey, i need that back," he gently tried to remove the badge from his son's hand but kento only tightened his grip, his face contorting into one of annoyance as he babbled some words, as if scolding his father for trying to take away his plaything.

"cmon buddy, i am already late," instead of trying to pull it away with force, jeongguk picked up kento again and tried to barter the badge for a squeaky toy he picked up from the floor. the house is filled with toys. that is jeongguk's love language, he is awkward when tasked with spending time with his child but keeps buying toys non-stop.

"see, this one makes noise," he kept squeaking it, trying get kento's attention but kento held onto the badge like his life depended on it.

growing impatient with his cellphone constantly vibrating in his trousers pocket, jeongguk somehow retrieved the badge from the toddler's death claws and tried replacing it with the squeaky chicken but the toddler, as stubborn as his father, started wailing. dropping the stupid yellow chicken on the floor, he started making grabby hands for the badge.

"cmon, you're on my side, right? we will play when i come back," jeongguk tried to talk to his son but was only met with the latter's high pitched wails in reply.

the entire time, you had just been doing your skincare routine, not giving a second glace towards the father-son duo doing their drug deal. taking out some neosporin, you applied it gently on the back of your left elbow where you had sustained a gash from last night's ordeal.

walking over to where you sitting on the ottoman in front of the dressing table, jeongguk placed the crying child in your lap and kept leaning as his eyes took in the bruises he left behind.

you did not meet his eyes and held your son, a small smile on your lips as you started to sway him in your arms which seemed to calm the demon child down a bit.

jeongguk wanted to say something but found himself at a loss of words. he quietly removed himself from towering over you and walked out.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

it has been three weeks since detective jeon jeongguk has heard his wife's voice. well that is technically a lie because he sometimes hear you talking to kento, your voice dripping with affection, adoration and love and then the moment you are aware of your husband's presence, it was like you retracted yourself. he has not even seen you smiling either, only ever seeing it from the side when you are smiling and playing with the toddler.

jeongguk has tried everything; talking to you is like talking to a wall. you do not even breathe in his direction let alone reply to him. no words, no gestures, no expressions — whatever he asks or says is just met with pin drop silence. he tried getting angry at you for that, raising his voice, threatening to punish you for giving him the silent treatment but there was not even a change in your expression to any of those empty threats. yes, they were empty threats and a part of you knew that as well; you had seen the worst of him that unfortunate night, it could not get worse than that. and even if it gets bad, what is the worst that can happen? he will end up killing you? well, death does not scare you anymore. as long as kento is taken care of, you just simply do not care.

jeongguk even tried to go on a hunger strike; he refused to eat any meals. well, it did not make a difference because you weren't exactly insisting for him to eat. food was made and kept in the kitchen, whoever wanted to eat, whenever they wanted to eat, they were free to do so and in case jeongguk does not eat, you just clean up and clear everything. so the hunger strike only weakened jeongguk but there were no other gains to it. you were still the unmoving pillar.

at nights, sleeping in the same bed, if his hands even accidentally touched you, you would just proceed to take your clothes off; still the same emotionless face. jeongguk yelled at you one night — it was psychologically fucked up — you were not a prostitute, you were his wife.

"what's wrong with you!" his yell boomed in the closed space before he threw away the covers in a hurry and made his way to the living room to sleep on the couch. ever since, he has slept on the couch. he is too scared to witness that sight again. it gives him nightmares, he wakes up some nights in cold sweat. when he cannot sleep, he walks over to kento's nursery and sleeps at the feet of the crib — in the same position he had found you, passed out, that night.

nothing — none of that incites a reaction or a reply from you. sounds only come out of your throat when they are directed at kento or bam. you eat alone when he is not home, you take showers in the empty house and refuse to step out of the house. when he is home, he only ever sees you with a book in hand.

this one time there were no groceries left in the refrigerator. simple! you just stopped cooking. one day was sustained by cereals, the next day by instant ramen and when all of the packeted food finished up, you just stopped eating. this went on for three days before jeongguk finally realized why you had stopped cooking. he just thought you were angry at him and did not want to cook for him anymore and since you used to do everything in his absence, it took him a while to catch up to the fact that the refrigerator was empty and that you had not eaten anything.

"are you fucking sick or what? kento depends on you, he needs you to eat."

you did not even turn to him, quietly making your way to the nursery with a bottle in your hand.

he followed you and watched as you started feeding kento with the bottle.

oh, formula. that still does not excuse the fact that you need to eat. giving up getting you to talk, jeongguk headed to the twenty-four seven supermarket and bought as much food supplies as his car could fit. he restocked the kitchen, the refrigerator and went to sleep on an empty stomach on the couch.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

another week passed, when on one fine sunday morning, jeongguk swallowed his ego and contacted kim tanaz. he was at his wit's end, he does not know anymore how to fix this. he needs to hear your voice, he needs to hear your laugh or he is going to crazy.

your dear friend refused at first but jeongguk insisted that you needed her. finding no further reason to reject the invitation, tanaz had begrudgingly agreed. it isn't like tanaz does not want to talk to you, it is just the fact that it's jeon jeongguk that contacted her. that raised red flags in her mind. had it been you calling her over, she would run to you and baby kento.

when the bell rang, jeongguk was overjoyed to open the door, if he was on better terms with tanaz, he would have hugged her, "thank you so much for coming," his smile was blinding.

"you broke her, didn't you?" tanaz asked, her voice unsure. she cannot forget that aura this man had exuded that night. she just cannot get over that.

completely glossing over that comment, jeongguk ushered her inside, closing the door behind her, "y/n doesn't know you're here so it'll be a pleasant surprise."

"is... is she okay?" there was a desperation in tanaz's voice. she sounded terrified.

"she just needs to talk, i guess," jeongguk flashed another smile before showing her to the bedroom where you were reading a book while kento slept curled up under the covers.

jeongguk sat on the small stool in kento's nursery. since the nursery was just on the other side of the bedroom, he could hear you. he did not care what you talk about with your friend, he just wants to hear your voice, that is enough.

"what did he do?" tanaz's voice was stern as she made her way to her childhood best friend and sat on the edge of the bed facing her.

"how are you?" you asked instead, after clearing the lump in your throat.

"i asked you something, y/n," tanaz reiterated.

"could you quickly check up kento? i haven't been able to make the paediatrician's appointments..."

"y/n...," tanaz interrupted but you continued.

"... i have recently started giving him formula. i am also giving him some mashed rice but mostly breastfeeding."

sighing tanaz turned to kento, "he will be fine, he has you for his mom."

"he is trying to stand up these days. he falls over but he tries his best. crawling isn't cutting it for him anymore," you mentioned, re-fixing the covers over kento, gently running your fingers through the wisp of hair on his temple.

you continued, "i think i should baby proof the furniture around here."

"y/n, i have to ask again, what has happened?" tanaz was gently patting kento's rising and falling chest, matching his breathing.

"i don't know what you're talking about. i'm not sure why you are here either," your words cut deep, your voice left no space for any empathy.

tanaz grimaced at such a reply, "uh i am here cause your parents have been worried about you. i think you should visit them with kento."

"they don't need to worry about me. no one does."

"you're talking like a crazy person, get yourself together," tanaz scoffed, "do you think that is going to leave a positive impact on kento?" she tried to strike where it would hurt you the most; questioning your parenting.

it seemed to work; not much but just a bit as your features softened, your eyes never leaving kento's, the eyes welling up with tears.

by the time a few tears escaped your eyelids, tanaz scooted over and pulled you in a hug. her hold was unmistakable, the grip tight and reassuring. she had locked you between her arms, scared that if she might just loosen the grip even a bit, you would disperse into thin air.

there were no words, you just softly cried in her arms, staining the material of her shirt. you refused to make a single noise, body vibrating to take in breaths between the non-stop crying.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

another week passed since tanaz paid you a visit. jeongguk still cannot get you to say a word until one day when he came back from work and head to the kitchen to find a pot on the stove. the stove was off and jeongguk was starving so he went to take off the steel lid when you swatted his hand away.

"it's hot."

"right, sorr-" jeongguk stopped mid-sentence as the realization hit him, "you.. baby, you talked to me."

you moved the hot-pot to the dining table with the help of mittens and served a plate, "eat it before it gets cold."

you meant to walk away but jeongguk caught your wrist to which your immediate reaction was to withdraw into yourself. he let go of your hand at once, "fuck, i am sorry but can we eat together? please?" his eyes sparkled as he stared at you, forcing himself to anticipate only a positive response.

you stood there quietly and turned again to walk away.

jeongguk grazed your hand this time, scared he will push you away, "please baby, i am begging you please. i will get on my knees if i have to."

you kept quiet, still facing the other way. there was a muffled thud causing you to turn back to see your husband on his knees.

"please, just eat with me. it's killing me, i just can't do this anymore."

it was pathetic, him begging for mercy on his knees — just absolutely pathetic. it hurt your ego a bit. he is supposed to be this amazing police officer, right? he broke too easily, you haven't even served him an ounce of what he made you go through.

scoffing, you walked to the table and sat down, arranging a plate for yourself. deciding against waiting for him, you started eating.

jeongguk hurried to the chair beside you and started eating as well, "it's delicious."

you chewed quietly.

"i know kento's appointment is tomorrow for the vaccine, i will be home around lunch and we will go together, okay?"

"you can take him alone, i don't need to be there," you casually mentioned, focusing solely on your food.

"you're dreaming if you think he'd last without you even for ten minutes. plus, i can never calm him down and the vaccine is going to hurt."

defeated, you sighed and gave a curt nod.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

five weeks after you came back following the unsuccessful escape, you finally stepped a foot out of the house, the house that you have treated like a prison the past few weeks.

there was a honk outside, jeongguk's car. it was exactly one o'clock and he was outside to take you and kento to the paediatrician's clinic.

with kento on your hip, you exited the house and were surprised to find jeongguk standing with the passenger door open. rolling eyes, you ascended the car and strapped yourself, holding kento on your lap.

the ride to the clinic went by without a word, the veil of silence broken by kento's babbles sometimes as he tried to beat open the passenger side window with the lollipop-shaped rattle in his hand.

you were sitting in the clinic, trying to hold down kento so he could get the shot but he kept wiggling away. your husband took over and held the restless toddler down, exposing his bum to the doctor who dabbed the smooth skin with a seventy percent isopropyl alcohol solution before pricking the skin with the needle. the needle size was bigger than usual injections and hence required more force to push it in.

kento's face contorted before he let out a loud wail, trying to wiggle away but jeongguk firmly held him down. you felt tears pricking your eyelids as you stood behind where jeongguk was sat on the stool. you wanted to take kento away, to make this pain stop but he needed the vaccine. trying to keep your hands busy you kept a hand on jeongguk's shoulder, gripping on the material of shirt tightly into a fist.

"almost done, bud," your husband cooed to your son, massaging the injected spot as soon as the doctor was done.

"there you go! he would need a booster shot in another six months," dr choi spoke after discarding the used injection.

you nodded, watching jeongguk stand up holding kento who was hugging his father, his head rested on his shoulder, fat tears still streaming down his face along with a string of snot.

by the time you walked back to the car to head back home, you tried to take kento but he refused to loosen his grip on jeongguk.

"it's okay, you drive," jeongguk walked to the other side of the car and ascended the vehicle.

you would have kept up with your silent treatment but since your eyes were constantly on the road, you could not help but ask him for updates.

"has he fallen asleep?" "is he still crying?" "does he want to come to me?" "if he's hungry let me know."

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

after jeongguk dropped you home, kento drove you absolutely crazy. he had a bump on his cute little bum at the spot where he got the injection. even an accidental graze there had him bawling his eyes out and he refused to calm down. poor thing cried himself to sleep every time he was reminded of the pain.

there was relief in the toddler's eyes when he saw his father at night.

"hey bud, what's wrong?" jeongguk picked up his son who was in your lap but he kept making grabby hands at him.

you raised an eyebrow as kento quieted down as soon as he was in jeongguk's arms. kento rested his head on his father's chest, his small fingers playing with the button of jeongguk's shirt. kento has never been one to be overly affectionate towards his father so such a reaction genuinely surprised you.

"has he eaten?" jeongguk brought you back from your daze as he walked towards the bedroom.

you shook your head, "he wouldn't eat, he has only cried himself all day."

"he's running a fever."

you rushed to kento's side and placed your palm on his forehead. he was fine just a while ago.

"try and feed him, i will get some meds," he handed kento to back you.

this time kento was quiet and latched to your neck, tired eyes closing up.

"hey hey, you gotta eat first," you reminded the child, much like you have reminded his father many a times and proceeded to lay him on your lap before breastfeeding. surprisingly, this time kento did not resist and latched on.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

that night, neither of you got any sleep as kento woke up every two-three hours, crying from the pain. his fever had lowered now but poor thing had a congested nose.

early in the morning when your eyes blinked open, you saw kento curled into your husband, whose arm was enveloping the toddler firmly.

you do not know how long you watched that sight but immediately closed your eyes and pretended to fall asleep when jeongguk's alarm went off.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

the next day, kento's fever was gone and he had started playing with bam again. his cackles filing up your abode.

your husband had taken a day off to be by his son's side and they played together for most of the morning.

you were quietly folding laundry when you heard jeongguk walking in the bedroom after he put kento to sleep after lunch.

"can we talk?"

you stacked kento's folded clothes one over the other, "kento does not have a fever anymore. we don't have to go to the doctor's, i talked to tanaz."

"that's not what i meant."

your hands stopped, "there's nothing to talk about."

"i know i can't ask for forgiveness but i can't do this either. i just went through five weeks without hearing your voice. please let's just talk."

"and i just told you, there is nothing to talk about. i am fine. this is what you wanted, right? pliant little housewife."

"i did what i did cause i was angry. you had run away with our son, y/n."

"and that excuses your behaviour?!" you raised your voice, unknowingly.

"i don't know! talk to me! tell me what to do."

"the fucking nerve you have," you turned around this time, eyes boring holes at him, "you think anything can fix what you did?"

"i don't know! i don't care! all i know is that i just fucking love you," there was brief moment of nothing — unsteady heavy breaths — before jeongguk closed the distance between you two, claiming a wanton kiss from you.

you could not fight him. well, mentally you wanted to but your body did not quite register the commands of your brain as you found yourself kissing him back. you grabbed his collar, not caring about wrinkling the fabric before pulling his face closer to you by the collar, kissing him back with the same fervour.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

jeongguk laid you down gently on the bed, making space for him between your legs and sinking down on top of you.

he broke the kiss, his hand caressing your cheek, "i love you," he left soft kisses on your lips, each one lasting longer than the last one. his other hand travelled down the valley of your breasts to nestle underneath your trousers. the pads of his fingers rubbing the slit of your entrance from over the material of your panties.

his touch was ghost-like, his lips ghosting over yours dipping down once in a while to plant a open mouthed kiss while his fingers worked your bundle of nerves.

short gasps left your lips at the subtle movement. it was like russian roulette, sometimes his fingers did not graze your nub but then sometimes it did, building up anticipation. your arousal soaked and formed a patch on your panties. feeling the faint wetness through the material, jeongguk pushed the cloth aside and finally touched you. his finger dipped in the arousal and lodged itself deep inside you. moving in a linear motion inside the wet cavern, his fingernail grazing along the ridges and bumps inside you.

your spine grew straight and dipped against the mattress when you felt jeongguk adding another finger in the mix. his lips attached to your neck, attacking directly at your soft spot, licking up a stripe and sucking at it while his fingers relentlessly worked your tensed bundle of nerves.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

"can we fuck now?" you asked after coming down from your high. chest rising and falling while jeongguk licked his fingers clean, tasting you carnally.

"no," he shook his head. using his upper body strength, he flipped the pair of you so you were on top of him. his curved hard-length poked at the flesh of your ass.

locking eyes with you, he guided his length to your weeping hole. the bulbous head gathering the arousal from your heat before sinking in, inch-by-inch. you propped your hands on his chest ready to ride him but it did not last long as jeongguk flipped you both again.

hah! you knew it, it was too good to be true. he would never give away his power, his dominance over you so easily. but you were too tired to fight anymore, its not just him suffering the adverse affects. it was eating away at you mentally. you just locked yourself up mentally, emotionally and physically for over a month.

letting go, you did not protest and let him take back the reins.

"i love you," jeongguk proclaimed for probably the third time that day before beginning to thrust into you. his thrusts were languid, he took his time serenading your body, kissing every inch between the slow thrusts. he used this newfound pace to reach deeper angles inside you, leaving red-purple marks everywhere around your neck and chest.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

feedback is deeply appreciated. ✨

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- jaimie

© 𝟫𝟫𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓇𝓈, 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟥. 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃.

[dr-trafalgar-law]

Trafalgar Law X CisFem Reader

**This is sort of a sister book to @quinloki 's Birds of a Feather (Marco x Reader). They take place in the same universe and you'll see some crossover scenes. **

1

Your drive to work was always a beautiful sight, even on a cloudy day. The early morning light cast purple shadows over the pine tree covered mountains that surrounded Lvneel City. It was a picturesque landscape, the perfect mix of a city plopped down in the middle of farmland.

You have worked at a very busy veterinary hospital for the past nearly five years as a receptionist. Phoenix Rising Animal Hospital was owned and run by Dr. Marco Newgate. It was a small animal clinic, meaning you only catered to dogs and cats. On very rare occasions Dr. Newgate would take on a special case from an animal sanctuary or rescue. He was an extremely talented board certified internist. As the practice grew a new doctor was added to the roster. An up and coming soft tissue and orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Trafalgar.

You didn't know him very well even though you saw him five days a week for the last two years. He rarely spoke to you and was very intimidating. To put it simply he was incredibly unfriendly. A pretty big contrast from your boss. He was also unfortunately infamous for being the reason assistants and techs quit.

You often found the doctors didn't deal with other humans quite as well as they did animals. He was no exception - blunt and a bit demanding, but an excellent surgeon. The world of VetMed was hard enough without having to deal with an uptight impatient doctor.

This particular morning wasn’t any different than usual. You pulled up to the hospital at 7:30AM and unlocked the doors before turning off the alarm and switching the lights on. Dr. Newgate’s classic Mercedes rolled into the lot not long after you.

“Good morning F/N.” he greeted as you powered on the computer and clocked in at the reception desk.

“Mornin’ doc.” you replied merrily, “I’ll get the coffee going in a few minutes.”

“That would be perfect, thank you.” he yawned heading into his office, “Don’t forget Chopper is training with you again this week-yoi.”

“I’ve already got his goals listed for the week.”

As if on cue the little reindeer in question entered the lobby with a small backpack hanging from his shoulders.

“Morning F/N!” he chirped trudging around the desk to drop his belongings and clock in.

“Hey Chopper, when you get settled would you mind checking the task log and start sending out appointment reminders for me while I go get the coffee started?”

“You got it.” he replied changing to his human point form to reach the desk more comfortably.

Chopper was in tech school and while he had to train with the medical staff, part of his schooling also required him to know the inner workings of reception. Not all practices have reception staff so it would benefit him if he ever left your hospital.

You made your way through the treatment areas and passed the doctors offices where the break room was. Humming a tune you started your routine of getting the staff’s coffee ready. This won’t be the only pot brewed during the day either.

While the machine groaned to life and the strong scent of breakfast blend filled the room you set out everyone’s favorite mugs making sure they were clean and started the dishwasher up with yesterday’s dishes. You continued to bebop around the small room heating up a poptart until you were able to steal the first cup of coffee. As you sang to yourself and focused on preparing your mug a tattooed hand reached out for the yellow cup to your left. You startled and let out a small squeak turning to the dark haired doctor that had so quietly entered the room.

“Oh,” you chuckled at yourself while he went ahead and filled his cup, “good morning Dr. Trafalgar, ya scared me.”

He wasn’t slated for surgeries on this day so he wore a navy button down with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, black slacks and boots.

His golden eyes swayed in your direction as he hummed and then turned to leave the room.

“Mornin’ F/N!” Shachi, the head scrub tech, called passing the doctor on his way out.

“Hey.” you replied with less energy than usual.

“Did he say something rude to you?” the redhead thumbed toward the doorway.

“No, he didn’t actually say anything. I’m pretty certain he hates me.” you chuckled.

“No one could ever hate you. He’s just a grump. Once you get to know him he isn’t so bad.” Shachi reached for the orca decorated mug that was next in line on the counter.

“Talking about Law?” Penguin, another tech, asked entering the room.

Technicians like nurses worked closely with the doctors and often addressed them by first name.

“What gave it away?” you laughed.

“It’s like Shachi said, once you know him he isn’t so bad.”

“It’s been two years guys, I don’t think getting to know him is an option at this point.” you placed your poptart on a small plate and got ready to head back to the front desk, “And that's okay, I don’t need to be friends with the doctors.”

“That’s hurtful-yoi.” your boss had now joined the conversation.

Blushing you choked out an awkward laugh, “Not you, of course,”

“Because I pay your bills.” he teased further.

“Y’know, I think I hear Chopper calling me…” you finally made your exit and hot-footed it back to reception.

The morning slowly continued on as consults and recheck appointments began for both doctors.

Chopper was slowly getting used to answering the phone but you stayed nearby and took over the more complicated calls. He switched back to his smaller form and sat on the desk next to you taking up less room.

Sometime after 9AM an emergency call came in.

The little reindeer was flustered as he hung up, "W-we have an ER coming in."

"I heard you ask if it was a hit-by-car. Is it a stat?"

"I believe so, it was actually attacked by people." he answered watching you grab the phone receiver and dial 999.

"ER 236 please." your voice chimed calmly over the hospital intercom, "ER 236."

Your extension rang almost immediately.

"Yo." Shachi said before you could say anything.

"Hey, we have a stat coming in. Can you send someone up to receive them? I'll get paperwork ready so we can make a chart when they get here."

"Bepo will be up in a minute and I'll let Law know."

"Thanks." you hung up the phone and turned to Chopper, "Next time we get a call like that we need a little more information so we can start a chart immediately."

"Ah, I'm so sorry F/N." he covered his little face.

"You're not in trouble, Dr. Trafalgar just likes to have as much information as possible when the patient gets here. I know the person you were talking to was probably a little panicked and in a hurry but it's helpful for all parties." you patted his shoulder gently.

Not long after the call the ER patient arrived being carried uncomfortably by an exhausted woman in blood stained clothes. Shachi and Penguin rushed up front with a gurney when paged to do so. They reentered with the saddest blue nose pitbull pup. She couldn't have been more than a few months old, shaking and covered in blood.

Humans were cruel.

Dr. Newgate escorted the client in after the poor thing threw up in the lobby. You assisted in directing her to the spare toothbrushes while Bepo gathered some clean scrubs from the laundry.

A little over an hour later, once things had settled your extension rang.

Knowing who it was you took a deep breath and answered,"hey there,"

"Hello F/N, the puppy will be staying for a femur fracture repair." Dr. Trafalgar's voice was soft and calm, almost tired, "Can you go over the estimate I've entered in the chart with the client and get a deposit?"

"Oh, uh actually she is not the pup's owner. I can ask Dr. Newgate what he'd like to do until we locate them."

"No need." he murmured curtly and hung up.

You sighed and leaned back in your chair.

"I wonder if they'll let one of us adopt the puppy if it has no owner." Chopper sipped a cup of tea.

"Yeah we get first pick of surrendered pets. I wouldn't mind taking her. It's been a while since I had a dog in the house."

"Good news for you then, F/N," Penguin had just stepped into the lobby and leaned across the desk, "she's not chipped."

[landinrris]

Snippet following Silverstone 2023 from the current pr fic wip!

Carlos calls Lando on Monday when he’s back in Maranello, if only to hear his voice. Collapsed into the sofa, fresh from the shower after his run.

Lando answers on the third ring, a warm, “Hey,” reaching Carlos’ ears.

It’s the single sweetest syllable Carlos has heard in the last forty-eight hours.

“Hey. I didn’t tell you yesterday, but congrats on the podium. You deserved it. You looked so good up there.”

Lando hums, an evident smile in his voice despite how hard he’s trying to fight it. “Thanks. It was pretty cool, not to rub it in.”

“It’s quite the view. I remember from last year.”

“Maybe next year I’ll be up on that top spot.”

“Maybe I’ll join you.” It’s quite the thought, one that has Carlos feeling more wistful than he was prepared for. They’re overdue a podium together— yet to fulfill their 1-2 wish from back at McLaren.

“You promise?” Lando asks.

It’s Carlos’ turn to hum, letting the conversation fall into a lull. He scratches at a spot on his neck he’d nicked while shaving and mentally curses when his fingernail catches against it.

“What are you doing right now?” Lando asks. Carlos would tease him about the suggestive nature of his question if he felt like they were at a place where they could.

As it is, Carlos feels like he’s walking across shards of glass.

“Just got in from a run and showered— in Maranello for now. What about you?”

“Spending a couple of days with my family before going back to Monaco. It’s nice to kind of just decompress for a bit. Log off social media.”

“Stay off the algorithm,” Carlos adds.

Lando sighs. “Suppose I should apologize for the last few weeks. My head’s not been great, and I’m trying to deal with it.”

“Lando, you don’t have to apologize.”

“No, I do because Max has already told me off about it. I’ve just been avoiding you without telling you why, and that’s not fair to either of us. I just kept thinking about what you said about the European leg and how she was just gonna be around all the time, and it's made me sick to my stomach. Fuck, it makes me sick just saying it again. But I don’t want this to ruin us.”

“Shit…” is all Carlos can say. He’s had a sneaking suspicion, but to hear it confirmed is something else. “I should’ve been more demanding about her not coming golfing.”

“It’s not just the golfing, Carlos—”

“No, but I should’ve been more demanding. I should have said I wasn’t going and done something else with you. This has already taken so much.” Carlos knew it was doing damage, but now it's different.

Their promises to each other are coming unraveled in real time despite how much they try.

“What are you doing this week?” Lando asks, an edge of hope palpable in his voice. “I could come to you or you could come to me, and we could kind of just reset? More than Canada. Just exist a few days and forget about the world.”

The proposition sounds like one of the best ideas Carlos has ever heard. He can practically picture Lando in his bed, sitting on the kitchen counter, pressed up against the glass door in the shower.

He thinks about Monaco back in May and the utter bliss those handful of days were when it was just them. They shut the rest of the world out. It would be so easy to say yes now. It would be so easy to buy Lando’s plane ticket for him with a couple button clicks.

Carlos’ brain slams on the brakes.

“I don’t think this week will be good. I think the plan is to let everything settle before the summer break. Either of us being spotted where the other lives will only raise Caco and Guzman’s hackles.” Getting them to agree to let him have this break in the first place was a lot. The last thing he wants to do is laugh in their faces and tempt them into something.

“Yeah, sure. That’s fine.” Lando’s tone is clipped— the opposite of fine, Carlos knows.

“Lando,” Carlos begs. “We can do things together on Facetime maybe. We can make dinner together tonight? Maybe watch something together even though you will fall asleep halfway through. It’s not that I don’t miss you, cariño. It’s that I am trying to finish this as quickly as possible.”

Lando sighs. “I know. I think I’d really like to do those things. I’ll be back in Monaco tomorrow night. We can cook dinner then?”

Something inside Carlos settles. “Yeah, that sounds good. I will figure us out a recipe. I can keep talking for now though if you are okay to.”

“I know I’ve been avoiding you, but I could still talk to you forever, you know.”

Carlos smiles to himself. “That’s good because so can I.”

They stay on the phone with each other for another hour and a half until Lando’s father evidently tells him dinner is ready. Carlos is morose to eventually let him go— he'd much rather choose to stay on the phone and talk about everything and nothing.

Carlos wants to hear more about the stack of old sketchbooks Lando found in the desk drawer in his room full of sticker designs. He wants to hear more about how when this is all over, Lando wants to bring Carlos home as his boyfriend and show him around.

Likewise, Carlos wants to keep telling Lando about the neighbors in his building and the people around town. He wants to talk about what color he should paint the living room because it’s too yellow as-is. He’s been spending more time there and has discovered he hates it.

Lando tells Carlos he’ll help paint it.

When they do hang up, Carlos feels better than he has in a while. It feels like something has shifted between them the tiniest bit. Not good or bad, but just different. It’s like they’ve taken a step back for a moment to something safer, and Carlos is oddly grateful for it even if he still wishes with every fiber of his being that he could have Lando here with him.

The next few days only reinforce the shift. Like taking a hit off an inhaler, suddenly Carlos feels like he can breathe again.

Sure, making dinner in parallel with each other feels silly, especially when Lando can’t get the peel off the garlic clove and he refuses to smash it with the knife because the instructions stated he has to slice the clove, and he can’t slice it if it’s crushed. If they were together, Carlos could help. Now, he just groans.

He feels less silly when they’re both lying in their respective beds the next night, the only light coming from each of their bedside lamps. Lando looks swamped in his hoodie, the hood pulled up and pushing some of his hair down onto his forehead.

“I want to kiss you so bad it makes my chest hurt,” Carlos murmurs. It feels like he’s shouting.

Lando gives him a sleepy smile. “I want to kiss you until my lips are so bruised it hurts. And then I want to keep going.”

“I want your name to be the first one I say when I wake up and the last one I say when I go to bed.”

“I want everyone to look at you and know I’m your other half.”

“I think the grid already does if I am being honest.”

“But I mean everyone. I want some random fan to think: Carlos Sainz? Oh yeah, he’s Lando Norris’.”

Just the idea sends a shiver up Carlos’ spine.

They go back and forth for an embarrassingly long time. Carlos doesn’t wish Lando was there any less. He wants to trace the dimples in Lando’s cheeks and on his chin. He wants to kiss each and every freckle and mole and memorize the pattern of color in Lando’s eyes.

Lando falls asleep on the call, his bedside lamp still on. If Carlos was there, he could turn it off for him. Instead, he just watches Lando sleep until his own eyes grow too heavy to keep open.

[moonshoon]

Miss Me Much?

MASTERLIST

paring: sunoo x reader genre: smut, a little bit of fluff word count: 2.7k

summary: reader is in a relationship with music major!sunoo, but they live appart for the time being. their long distance relationship is going well, and sunoo comes to town around christmas break to surprise reader. things get a little heated in reader’s dorm room

warnings: dom!sunoo, smut, degrading, smoking, fingering, cunnilingus, penetration, harsh language, mention of test stress, long distance relationship, mentions of death (no main characters)

shortenings: y/n > your name f/n > friend’s name

!WARNING! contains +18, MDNI

„i miss you so much, sun...", i mumbled out against my pillow. my head was buried into the fluffy fabric, voice muffled as i was still on the call with sunoo. since he had to move away for his dream music college i was left alone in this town here, with no one to talk to. naturally, i am happy he is living his dream right now, but I still miss him so much right now. especially since we haven't seen each other in almost half a year.

"don't worry baby. only two more weeks and then the christmas break will start and i'll be back for some time." i heard his voice through the speakers of my phone. "i already can't wait to have you back in my arms and hold you forever." this made me smile. so many people told us that our relationship wouldn't work out because we would be long distance, but no. i feel like as soon as i will be united with sunoo again, i will be even happier than i have ever been in my life.

the more we talked, the more i got excited about his coming back, i couldn't wait to see my boyfriend again after such a log time apart. "i hope these two weeks pass quickly so i can see you again soon... i feel so lonely without you here next to me in my bed" i told him. "it's okay, love. as soon as I will be there, i will spend all my time with you in your bed so you don't feel so lonely anymore." i giggled in excitement, pressing my head further into the soft, fluffy pillow.

"i'm sorry, babe. i'll have to go now, jay called me because we have soccer practice in twenty minutes. i will call you again as soon as possible! i love you." he promised as we said our goodbyes and then he hung up. now i was kind of lonely again.

i put away my phone and went back to my studies. for one because i had a few tests next week, and because i had to distract myself from thinking about Sun or else i would end up just missing him even more than i already am.

next thing i knew was, i woke up with my head on my desk and by back hurting more than a 98 year old's. hm... i probably fell asleep while studying yesterday. the physics book opened on page 204 that was laying right next to me on the desk proved my suspicion.

when i took a look at my phone and saw the time, i quickly sprang up from my stool, trying to get myself ready as fast as possible, because class was about to start in a few minutes. i quickly rushed to the bathroom, brushing my teeth, washing my face and applying a little bit of make-up before hurrying back to my closet to grab the first skirt and shirt i could find.

as i was running in the hallway, i saw some people from my class, which made me relax a bit, but i still didn't slow down because i didn't want to be late no matter if some others are.

when i quickly jogged up to my seat at the back of the class, i saw the seat next to me was empty. strange. f/n should have been here already, she's never late. and when the professor then walked in, and she still wasn't here, i worried she was sick. probably she was, but how dare she leave me alone?

The classes were honestly so boring without her, and i don't even know how i survived psychology class (i hate that fucking teacher). But I'm glad i did survive so i can make my way to my dorm room now. i put on my headphones, playing one of my favorite songs and walked on to the dorms.

when i arrived at the dorm building, i saw a man standing there, leaning right against the entrance. his hood was pulled up and a cigarette in his hands, rings adorning his fingers. reminds me of sun, but that can't be him. don’t tell me i’m starting to hallucinate because i miss him so much... i thought to myself while i walked closer, headphones still playing music.

when i made my way past person, they lifted their head to look at me. and when i saw the face, i almost freaked out and started screaming. my cheeks rose, as i smiled brightly at the person standing in front of me.

"miss me?", he said, voice smoother and deeper than i remembered, cigarette in between his lips. "why are you already here? didn't you say you'll be here when christmas break starts? that's like in two weeks..." i said, still shocked about my boyfriend standing in front of my dorm out of nowhere. "classes got cancelled for some time, because one of the staff members died unfortunately. but I'm happy i can see you again, babe." sunoo explained, wrapping his hands around me to pull me into a tight hug, almost squishing me to death. i gladly wrapped my arms around him too, responding with the same feelings as him as the smell of the smoke enveloped both of us.

"i missed you so, so much, sun..." And before i could stop it, sobs made their way out of my mouth, and some tears started streaming down my face. "don't cry. i'm here now, hm?" his hands were rubbing my back, calming me down a little bit. he swiftly pulled out my phone out of the back pocket of my pants before holding it onto the sensor at the entrance door, my access card being in the back of the phone case.

the little light on the sensor turned green and he opened the door before throwing his cigarette onto the ground, lifting me up and carrying me into the building.

"let's rest a bit and watch a movie, what do you think?" "But i have a lot of tests to study for..." "i don't care right now, you deserve some rest and i will stay here and make sure you will get your deserved hours of rest." i just nodded my head, not able to protest because I do really need some rest right now.

we chose to watch a movie none of us had seen, so i don't remember the name exactly, but it was a great movie. well, it was as long as i got to see it.

„you know what i really missed a lot when we were not together?" sun asked me, looking me straight in the eyes. i quickly shook my head to tell him I didn't know. „your pretty fucking lips..."

as soon as those words left his mouth, he smashed his lips onto mine, pulling me directly onto his lap with his beautiful hands. they were placed on my ass as i wrapped my arms sound his shoulders to glide my nails along his clothed back.

he didn't hesitate one second to swipe his tongue along my bottom lip, to ask for entrance. and as soon as he got it, he dominated my tongue with his. our saliva mixed together, his hands on my ass, my hands all over his back and hair. i must say, i really missed that feeling too.

„please, sun~" i whined out lightly grinding up against him, looking for some friction. „be my good girl and stay still for me now, ok?" he mumbled and continued kissing me slowly, also making his way down my neck, placing his soft lips on my sensitive spots. i let out little moans and whimpers at the feeling of him sucking on my skin to mark me as his. the thought of walking around with his marks really did turn me on a lot.

his kisses continued over to my collarbones, also leaving some hickeys there too, before they went lower. i could feel his lips at the top of my breasts, caressing my skin lightly. my hands settled themselves in his black locks, tugging at his hair and massaging his scalp from time to time. the v-neck shirt i wore - for which i also almost got dresscoded today - proves to be very practical right now.

“please, sun, do something~" i whined out, begging for him to do more. his lips slowly left my skin, a worried look on his face. „are you sure you're ready, babe? we’ve never done this before" so sweet of him to be concerned about me... his hands we're still holding me against him tightly, not letting lose for a second. „yes, i'm very sure, baby. you can continue..." my voice was shaky. this would be the first time we do more than just making out and leaving hickeys on each other.

„oh god, you're so sexy." he mumbled out before putting his hands onto the hem of my top, and looking at me again. i nodded my head to give him permission, and in no time my top was gone, thrown somewhere into my room. now i was sitting there on top of my boyfriend, just in my bra, his lips on my body again. i could feel his hands travelling up my back, brushing over the clip of my bra.

he hooked two of his fingers behind it and swiftly opened it. „are you sure?" He asked, voice still laced with concern. „if you're not going to hurry up you can completely forget it." i mumbled before pulling him up to capture his lips with mine passionately before puling my bra off completely.

and before i knew it, he already dove down to take one of my breasts and decorate it with more of the beautiful marks. he just hugged me closer and closer as he worked on my chest, switching from one to the other, so both have the same amount of attention.

as i let out a breathy moan, he turned us around and now i was under him. his gaze was focused on my expressions, checking if i was still comfortable. When i stretched my hands out and pulled up his shirt, he immediately tossed it off too, bare, lightly toned torso on display for me. i reached out with my hands and brushed over his skin, making him breathe out shakily.

“please sun, touch me more..." i said as i made circles with my fingertips all over his abdomen. slowly, his hesitation got less and less, and soon he was laying in between my legs, leaving kisses as he lifted up my skirt to get a good view of my panties. „so cute..." his fingers hooked under the fabric, slowly pulling it down to get a good view. „wet for me already i see, doll?" i just let out a little whine in embarrassment when he called me doll, i can't handle all the attention sometimes.

he didn't wait long before brushing his fingers over my folds, careful not to hurt me. over time, he got more confident and inserted two of his long, slender fingers. rings still on them. i could feel the cold metal against my throbbing core, pushing against the amazing sensation. he started curling his fingers inside of me, making me whine even higher. „oh- god please, sun"

his lips latched onto my bud, playing with the sensitive nerves there and making me squirm even harder than before. my stomach tightened as i felt my orgasm approaching slowly, my grip tightening on sun's hair. „don't stop, don't stop, oh-„ my voice got higher pitched, and my thighs started shaking. i tried to close my legs around his head but he held them open with a firm grip, biting on my clit lightly. with that, i couldn't hold back any longer and came right onto his tongue. he didn't stop licking until i was clean, drinking up my juces.

„that was delicious." he sighed, licking his lips. i slowly got up and pushed him down onto the bed, still trembling a little from the orgasm. my hands went to the top of his pants, tugging at the belt lightly. i fumbled around with the belt, trying to get it open. after a few second it opened and i pulled the zipper down, before trying to tug his pants down too. he lifted his hips a little to help me, and pulled off the pants to toss them off the bed.

my eyes wandered to his boxers, a wet patch at the front where you could see a big bulge. impressive. i also pulled down his boxers with a little help and started stroking him slowly. he let out low, breathy groans, bucking up his hips into my hand from time to time. „god, doll, i love you so much, but stop please. i don't want to cum into your hand right now." my face flushed red at his words, but i stopped, putting my hand on his thigh.

not even a second later he turned us around again and was hovering over me, gaze fixated on my body. "beautiful..." he mumbled, stretching his arm out to get a condom and lube from a drawer of my nightstand. he opened the condom package and rolled it on. the bottle cap popped open, he squeezed out some lube onto his hand, before rubbing himself with it. "i don't want to hurt you, y/n" he was worried, voice all serious now. “don't worry, sun, you won't. i'm sure." he slowly nodded before teasing me by sliding his tip against my folds. i whined lightly, pushing myself towards him to show him that i want it.

after a few seconds of just rubbing against me, he finally started pushing in. at first, it stung a little bit, but soon it turned into a pleasurable burn. "faster, please..." i breathed out, reaching with my hands to pull him down to me by his shoulders. my nails were scratching his back, his hands on my hips to hold me in place.

"so beautiful, doll. want to devour you right now." he groaned out as he sped up his thrusts. "oh- yes, please!" i shrieked as he hit my sweet spot, dragging my nails down his back harder, so there would be marks the next morning for sure. i had to guarantee that i had marked him good enough too...

"will you come for me, doll? cream all over my dick?" he whispered into my ear. i whimpered at his words. who knew I had a weak spot for dirty talk... i nodded my head quickly, trying to communicate to him that i liked it. "words, doll. i need words" he said and slapped my thigh harshly, his voice sounded like pure venom. "yes, yes." my voice was shaky, almost a whisper from all the stimulation i was receiving.

his hand made it's way down to my bud, rubbing over it in fast circles. i let out a loud moan at his action, never having felt this good in my entire life. "gonna, gonna-" i interrupted myself as i moaned out loudly against his shoulder, the knot in my stomach snapping. my eyes rolled back as i came on him, clenching down. his thrusts also started getting sloppier, he was close too.

"such a good girl for me, doll. i love your pussy so much" he breathed out as he thrusted into me harshly one last time, before he came into the condom. both of us were panting heavily, still trying to calm down from the intense session we just had.

when he slowly pulled out, i let out a whimper at the emptiness. sunoo stood up and discarded the used condom, before laying back down with me and pulling me close.

"how was it?" he asked sweetly. "amazing. i love you so much and i am so glad i could experience this with you, babe." "i love you more, and i would not mind if we would go for a second round right now, and i'll make you scream..." he whispered the last part into my ear while i could already hear his smirk forming.

[carionto]

"Trisha's Log, Day... I don't dare keep up anymore..."

Part 1 2 3 4 5

(Haespar: It's day two. Trisha: Stop ruining my vibe, you're still dead. Haespar: Yes, and I'm haunting you. With facts. Trisha: *hisses*)

"IT HAS BEEN AN INDETERMINABLE NUMBER OF DAYS since I began this expedition, now turned struggle for survival. I've lost Emily and am actively searching for her, but having not had a bite to eat in weeks and running low on water, I don't know if I'll succeed. To whoever finds this-" (Emily: I got the remote power module. And some snacks, here. Haespar: Ooh, melon flavored, my favorite. Thank you very much, Emily. Trisha: *already chowing down on some cheese sticks* Dankss Ehmilhy, yhour da bhest. *gulp* Where was I? Haespar: Starving despair and loneliness. Trisha: Right! Emily, you're currently gone, so just be your usual self and the audience won't know.)

"If you've found this log, I am dead. I died while carrying out my vital mission and searching for my lovely assistant, but failed catastrophically. Unless you're listening to this from a library archive, in which case I totally succeeded and became an awesome legend!"

Trisha continues to detail all of her future exploits and galaxy spanning quest for vengeance, love, mystery, and cake.

Meanwhile:

Haespar: Alright, adjust the telemetry of this unit to the one Valencio cooked up yesterday, and that should hook the biological scanners back up to the bridge. Emily: Done. Haespar: Excellent. *taps his datapad* Ira, bio scans are up on our end, confirm? Ira: Yup, all green. Reading you three down there nice and clean. Trisha's a bit heated up. Monologuing? Haespar: About her imminent demise after years aboard this derelict. Ira: *chuckles* Alright, good to know. While you're there, check on the tertiary power splitter two floors down, the main one up here is acting up a little. Haespar: Will do. Hmm? What's wrong, Emily? Emily: It's flickering between 27 and 28. Haespar: What? Emily: The number of lifesigns aboard.

Trisha: WHOA WHOA WHOA!!! Legit mystery time! *gently into the recorder* (Pause on seducing one of the heads of the three headed corrupt banker to blackmail him for trade secrets only to learn the evil tech startup was a Illuminati cabal all along) Let me see, where is this mystery life dot.

Haespar: It's jumping all over, is there a pattern yet, Emily? Emily: Need to log more data, but doesn't feel like it.

Trisha: It is popping up for a few seconds and disappears for about four times as long though. Hey, isn't that kinda like how you'd do a radio connection attempt? Brute force every frequency range. Oh wait, but then you'd just do all at the same time. Hacking maybe? Trying to get into a specific system without tripping any alarms?

Emily *into her comms unit*: Ira, please send an all frequency ping at these intervals towards us.

Ira: Alright, *shouting* Valencio, give Emily these pings. *normal again* Should be sorted in a tick, what's that about anyway?

Haespar: The lifesign readings are being weird, showing a 28th at regular intervals in random locations. Could be one of the system we haven't checked yet is acting funny and somehow interfering wi- Emily: Wait. It stopped flickering. A 28th. On the bridge. *To comms* Ira?

Ira: Uhh, yeah. I'm looking at him.

???: Hello, my name is Professor Iorvan Hal'Ahmat Garaamhan. Thank you for answering my call.

Continue->

[ejzah]

A/N: A random little fic where Kensi first recognizes she might feel more for Deeks than just friendship.

***

Missed Chances

“Well, you should come over and I’ll show you sometime.”

“Does that include a hands-on demonstration?”

Kensi stills in the tunnel as Deeks chuckles, a touch of surprise in his voice, in response to Agent Lesley Brown’s question.

“There will be a portion,” he responds, and Kensi thinks there’s a hint of flirtation to the words. Frowning, she slowly walks the rest of the way to the bullpen.

Deeks is casually perched on the edge of his desk, Agent Brown in front of him. The small blonde woman’s chest nearly brushes Deeks, her legs between either of his, and one hand resting on his right forearm.

Deeks and she had certainly found themselves in far more compromising positions over the years. Little touches, caresses, hugs, had all become commonplace for them. Yes somehow this seems so much worse.

As Kensi watches, Lesley reaches up and brushes a curl off Deeks’ temple. Something about the gesture, so simple yet intimate, makes Kensi’s heart clench with unexpected pain. She presses her fist to her chest, stunned by the intensity of her reaction.

Before Kensi has a chance to figure out what the hell is going on, Deeks shifts from behind Lesley, his lips quirking with a smile.

“Kensi! Hey, I didn’t see you come in,” he says, hopping off the desk.

“Hey. I’m surprised to see you here before 9 AM, Deeks,” Kensi replies, hoping she doesn’t sound as shaky as she feels. Moving over to her desk, she keeps her back turned as she sets her bag down, giving her the time to adjust her expression.

When she turns around again, Lesley is right at Deeks’ side again. Like they’re an established pair.

“I had a few questions about yesterday’s case,” Lesley explains with a fond, knowing smile in Deeks’ direction. She touches his forearm. Just a brief brush of her fingers. “Deeks was kind enough to come in early and help me out.”

“Yes, he’s very giving,” Kensi observes dryly. The space between Deeks’ eyes furrows, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Then somehow we got on hobbies, and Deeks mentioned how much he likes to surf. I think I’ve almost convinced him to give me a lesson this Saturday before I leave you guys,” Lesley continues without a hint of cattiness or possessiveness. Which would make it so much easier to hate her. She’s just too nice.

“I told you, I haven’t actually taught in years,” Deeks warns hers. Nodding to Kensi, he adds, “You wanna come with?”

She stares back at him. Is he joking? Making fun of her? Or worse, taking pity. Because there’s no way on earth she wants to accompanying him on a date disguised as a surfing outing.

“I already know how to surf. Besides, I already have plans.”

“Oh, that’s a shame.” This time, Lesley doesn’t sound all that disappointed.

“Ok, well, you know there’s always a spare board for you if you change your mind,” Deeks says.

“Thanks.” Kensi makes a show of getting out her laptop, logging on, and getting to work, though in reality, a blank expense report fills the screen.

After a couple minutes, Deeks and Lesley go back to chatting. She watches how comfortable they are with each other, the way Lesley gently shoves at his arm or leans in like he’s sharing something private. Deeks’ unbridled laughs at whatever Lesley has to say. The ache in her chest return, sharper and heavier than before.

It shouldn’t matter who Deeks flirts with or goes on surfing dates with. They’re just partners. Somehow that reminder doesn’t quell the ache.

[foxymoxynoona]

guys I got mega mega hacked yesterday with remote control software. I suspect it piggybacked onto my computer from some video game mods I downloaded this summer, but my brother-in-law suggested it may have been lurking since I bought my laptop as a refurb from BestBuy over a year ago. The person was able to access both my emails and set up filters to hide the email alerts, my amazon, and make a third party charge with my credit card. Because they were using remote-desktop, I wasn't getting alerts about unuathorized sign ins, and they were able to skip 2FA phone alerts anywhere that email was supported for 2FA. Based on the filters they set, I do know they had 3 purchases planning and I interrupted before they completed the third (amazon, antonline, and pixel.)

I got a credit card text alert for the $1500 antonline order but thought it was spam, so I went to my computer to log in and check whether the alert was real, then watched with shock that someone had my secondary email open and was typing in a 2FA code and I had no control of the cursor. I immediately turned off my computer and used a different computer to go in and change passwords, flag fraud charges, lock down accounts and freeze my credit cards. After a period of time passed, we turned the other laptop back on and began running scans --we found remote desktop hackware, and 4 other "Severe" threat programs after running every type of in-depth scan possible. I spent the whole night changing every password and deleting old accounts and confirming 2FA to my phone specifically.

I had a home burglary years ago that caused lasting emotional trauma which this elbowed again. The fraud charges suck but it's the impact on my kids and the invasive feeling that sucks even more. Changing amazon email/password broke my kids' accounts on their tablets and the refresh wipes over a year of their game data, which is upsetting for them. There's the emotional stress of knowing these assholes had full unhibited access to my accounts but also to all my personal stuff --my writing, my family photos, my medical record logins. I know they don't care about those things but they where there.

If not for my husband telling me to check email filters, I would not have realized they accessed my gmail. Without the security checks, we would not have found the hackware and it would have kept happening without me understanding why.

Please use this as your universe reminder to review your passwords, run security scans on your computers, and make sure 2FA is set up for important accounts that cannot be bypassed if someone gets acess to your email. <3 <3 <3

[deathgrimm]

Hello Everyone I’ve decided to dedicate this page/blog to being my own personal diary.

I’m recently homeless and will be talking about my day to day experiences, sharing photos, etc.

It’ll basically be photo vlogs that I post.

I’ll be calling them “yesterday’s diary log” posts!

Let me know if there’s any certain aspects of my life that you would want to see.

To give some background here…

I moved out at 18 after saving about $5000 from a part time job that I worked at for 3 months.

Other than that I had no previous employment.

My landlord assigned me to $300 in rent and 1/3 of utilities. My other roommates only paid $100 a month and her son who lived in a rook didn’t pay rent because his mom owned the trailer house.

I was later evicted because my landlord was not the actual owner of the house her husband was..and upon learning I lived there without his knowledge he forced his wife to kick me out and gave me a week to move.

I needed up homeless and flew back to my home state with my $200 that I got back from that months rent in hopes of making my life easier with navigating where to go, being closer to my original hospital, and overall just being more familiar with the area.

Now before anyone judges me for moving out at 18 I was living in a verbally abusive household that did not support me in getting a job because I was a girl and my job was to “learn the scripture, how to be a good wife, how to be a mother, etc.”.

If I wanted freedom I had to move out so I did.

Once I’d moved out I couldn’t obtain a job because again no previous experience other than 1 job as a dishwasher for 3 months. So all my rent and utilities was covered by SSI(social security for those who don’t know).

I receive about $490 at the first of every month and that all I’ve been supporting myself with.

I do plan to move back to FL where I lived for 2 years with my mother who supported my independence and separation from the church my family attended.

I have friends out there who are going to be getting apartments soon and are in need of roommates and they understand my situation and have extended the offer of me living with them.

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in September 11th and 12th, 2023 🎀

Did not have the time to make one yesterday as I didn't get home til almost 11 pm and was so tired that i immediately passed out. I had a really good day today(Tuesday), tho! I ordered a bunch of stationery off of Stationery Pal and Kawaii pen shop, and ahhhh, I love all of it, and they BOTH came in less than a week after I placed my order. The quality of everything is *chefs kiss* and I am so excited to start using all this stuff in my university academics as well as my self study goals! I might even switch back to paper notes because of all the stuff I bought, who knows.

Will not include What I Ate as I honestly don't remember, I am very tired at the moment(Tuesday night), having run most of today with 3 hours of sleep. This check in is going to be a bit more on the self care self compassion side as I had a rough two days honestly.

🩷 Personal Achievements -

Washed my hair

Made it to both classes on time

Organized my new stationery in my desk

Cooked steak *actually* good in my food fundamentals class

🩷 Academic Achievements -

Completed a PSYC writing assignment

Completed NUTR assignment

Completed pre lab quiz for my Anatomy Lab

Completed Osmosis lab report

Earned my Human Subjects Research Training certificate for my PSYC class

(I’m certified to use human subjects in research studies at my university for the next 3 years now, how cool!?)

Should I make a post about the stationery I got? Like a haul/review post? Let me know what you think! It’s all pretty aesthetic so I would love to share my opinions on the quality of the stuff I bought….and I bought a lot of stuff without realizing it!

🩷 As of today, Wednesday September 13th, here’s a little academic todo list for today:

Weekly Writing for my Food Fundamentals class

Take my Exam 1 for my NUTR class

Read Chapter 11 for my Personal Finance class + take notes on IPad

Complete my Nutrition Log for my Fitness for Health and Sport class

Study Japanese for 20+ minutes

🩷 And here’s a little personal to do list for today:

Change current fitted bed sheet to new one I just bought and washed, throw away old one

Take my bedroom trash out, throw out package box

Clean bathroom completely

Sweep bedroom

Organize desk more efficiently

Wash my current dirty laundry

Put away previous clean laundry

Change clear shower liner to my new one

Throw out old carpets and replace with new ones

Follow my skincare routine (my face is begging to be taken care of again)

Possibly hang up my string lights with clips behind my desk and attach BTS photos to clips 💜

Budget for paycheck tomorrow

This check in was definitely a little different than the others, especially cause I started it last night but had to save it as a draft cause I nearly fell asleep while typing it up. I will definitely post an update tonight to see how much of my to do lists I accomplished! Looking forward to having today to myself, as I didn’t go to class due to the extreme rain we’re having (I walk to my campus as I do not drive…at all) and I’m completely home alone today! Let the productivity begin!

Til next time, lovelies 🩷🤍

[zilabee]

Snippets from Brian Wilson's autobiography from 2016, that are kind of about Paul McCartney without necessarily being about Paul McCartney at all:

I wrote a song for [Frank Sinatra] once called "Still I Dream of It". He didn't say yes to the song, and that bothered me. It was a beautiful song about loneliness and hope.

I love that both Brian and Paul wrote weirdly sad songs for Frank Sinatra and Frank noped out on them both.

We went on our honeymoon at the beginning of 1965. I was sitting around, looking at the water or closing my eyes out on the beach, and a whole song came to me. It was "Girl Don't Tell Me." I didn't have any way to get it down. I didn't have a pen. I didn't have a guitar. I didn't have a piano. But I just heard the whole thing up there, from start to finish and I remembered it well enough to go later and write down the lyrics on a piece of paper. It was a real trip to write a song that way. I thought it would keep happening like that. It never did again.

He laid an egg! Like Paul with Yesterday. There's also another bit of the book where he says that he wrote Girl Don't Tell Me for John Lennon, and considered giving it to the Beatles, and that's why they didn't put backing on it or anything. Maybe you only lay eggs if you're thinking about John Lennon, that's all I'm saying.

Melinda and I got married at a chapel in Palos Verdas. I picked as the date February 6, because it was Marilyn's birthday. That way I figured, I would never forget the date. Melinda agreed.

Marilyn is his ex-wife. He got married on the date of his first wife's birthday. Apparently this is just something that makes sense and isn't weird at all.

Some answers are in my own songs, some answers are in other people's songs. One of the songs that never fails is "Let It Be". I sing it to myself all the time. Whenever it comes on the radio, it lifts me. Whenever I have mental problems, it saves me, big time. It's like a Valium to me.

There are other bits where he mentions Paul and Paul's music explicitly. Times they've met and sung harmony together. He calls him Pablo. He talks about hearing the Beatles and wanting to do something better and so on. He says that he'd still quite like to write a song with Paul but he's not sure that Paul would want to.

I could say that I really worked forever on it, that I spent a year imagining how the melody would work and another year on the lyrics. But the facts are that Tony and I sat down at a piano and wrote it in forty five minutes. […] If you look at the studio logs, it shows almost two dozen takes, but it didn't feel that way at all. "God Only Knows" felt easy. It came out like melted butter.

Writing emotional support songs for one another across the atlantic ocean.

I have heard those voices for a long time, maybe fifty years now. they first came to me when I was twenty-two, after I took LSD. LSD was something that people told me made your mind larger, and that sounded interesting to me. I was interested in exploring ways of getting expanded. The first time I took it, I had to go hide in a bedroom, and I thought mostly about my parents and whether I should be afraid of them. I also started to play what became 'California Girls' on the piano, that sound of the cowboy riding into town. I played it and played it until I heard other things inside of it. But about a week after that, the first voices started to pop up. They'd sound like a real person's voice, a person different from me who I couldn't control, but inside my own head. I didn't know what to do with them. [...] Doctors have told me that the voices didn't come from the acid, that they would have happened anyway, but I'm not sure. I didn't have them before.

That was 1964. I've never been able to work out how well known this was at the time, but Paul talks about not wanting to take lsd to begin with because he was worried he wouldn't be himself afterwards. He must have known stories like this, even if not Brian's particular experience. But if he did know about Brian, it would be even scarier, I think, because even then they must have seen a parallel in how they heard music, how their brains worked in some ways.

Because [Do You Wanna Dance] is a dance song, people don't think of it as a spiritual thing, but it is, because it's harmony.

Only including that because I love how he just believes that harmony is the most important thing in the world. It's a truly religious thing for him, it's one of the loveliest things about the book. His trying to explain how he writes music, is different from Paul, because he thinks it differently, but there's the same sense of 'you just sit there and then you write a song...' There's a great bit where he talks about being in the studio and sitting in front of the mixer, but not touching it, just needing to be near it so he could work out the song. And he's like 'after about fifteen minutes… I mean they said it was an hour or two, but about fifteen minutes… I went over to the piano… I didn't play the piano, but it meant I could explain the harmony'.

There was some big study at a university and the doctors who did the study said that anxiety and creativity are sort of the same thing: both of them are about dealing less with what's in front of you and more with what's in your head. Listening to what's in your head, especially when you're a person with anxiety, leads to negative emotions. But they're also a form of imagination. If you can worry about problems when there aren't problems around, then you can also think of stories or songs when there aren't stories or songs around. You can make things go from not existing to existing.

I'm sure there's another bit that I can't find now, where he talked about realising that if you can make songs, then you sort of have a duty to. Because if you don't make them exist they don't exist.

all quotes from I Am Brian Wilson by Brian Wilson and Ben Greenman