#I feel like I need to think about this design a bit more

[macapunoz]

UNREQUITED CLUB ; choi seungcheol

summary it’s not good to resort to breaking hearts if you’re afraid to admit you’re still in love with someone else.

starring seungcheol x f! reader

genre angst，fluff (i might be lying)，unrequited love，mutual pining at some point (?)，uni au，reader does fashion designing

contains reader is kinda toxic，same thing with coups (they’re just both not good ppl)，breakups and leading ppl on，based on a true story。。。 sorry 97z

word count 6k ( thankyu sophi for proofreading ) | playlist bad religion by frank ocean, japanese denim by daniel caesar, secret door by arctic monkeys, all because i liked a boy by sabrina carpenter, fluorescent adolescent by arctic monkeys, green by 12bh, toxic till the end by rosé, first love by sondia

from rhin，this was originally gonna be a smau oneshot but i need to clear my penalties😭 (only 2k words left🗣️) anyways this fic is dedicated to my friend who doesnt have blr but her bias is scoups and she hates the dude cheol is based on😹😊🫰

You always thought you could do well with love. As a kid, you dreamed of marrying a prince after watching way too many princess movies. As you got older—going into middle school—your standards changed once you discovered a few dramas. A lot of them happened to have male lead CEOs, so you wanted a hot, rich man instead.

Eventually, those fantasies died down once you ended middle school. The boys you’ve encountered made you lower your standards and began to think that all boys were full of shit. But you figured you’d find better when you’re an adult. Sure, you’ve found at least some guys cute, but you knew way too much about them to never find yourself together with them.

It was only then that the first year of high school changed something in you. You knew a few older kids since you were family friends with them, and some of them had friends that would tag along. One of those friends happened to be Seungcheol. He was in tenth grade when you met him—just a year older than you. Always smiling and always said kind words.

From there, you’ve been crushing on him. You always thought he was different from all the other boys you’ve liked before. But you figured it was more of a you problem. You remember how you couldn’t even say a word to any guy you liked back then. However, talking to Seungcheol was a piece of cake. You two were close, and others always told you that they think he makes it obvious he likes you.

Back then, you wouldn’t dare to tell him how you felt. He was way out of your league, and you recall that he mentioned not being interested in dating. Plus, you liked it when you thought of him as a friend more than a crush. But like they say, the more you suppress the feelings, the stronger it gets. 

Your feelings towards him lasted until his final year of high school. He was graduating soon, so you figured it was time to confess to him. You were hoping for a rejection, but he ended up reciprocating the feelings. Or, so you thought. Just a week before his graduation, he admitted to you that when he said he liked you, he meant it as friends.

He didn’t mean to hurt you, but all you could ever think of was how much he disappointed you. For a few days, you ghosted him, until the day before he graduated, he wanted to talk to you. Although he never liked you in that way, he still liked you as a friend. Neither of you wanted your friendship to be ruined all because of that. 

You ended up attending his graduation, since you thought it would be mean not to show up to a friend’s important day. It was a bit sad though; you realized your final year of high school would feel a little bit empty. But you reassured yourself that you’d use that time to get over him, because he promised you that it’s okay if you still like him since getting over takes time.

So about doing well with love right now, you’re certain you’re ready for it. You hope you’re at least ready for it.

“I gave your number to Mingyu,” your friend brings up. You two were talking about the men in your biochemistry class, saying how they were either too old or too mid. There were only a few guys who weren’t too bad, and your friend gave your number to one of them.

“Mingyu? As in biochem Mingyu?” You quickly got up from lying down on her bed, looking dead into her eyes in case she was joking with you.

“Yes, that Mingyu. He’s been eyeing you for quite some time, so I told him I can get him with you.”

You wish you could tell her you’re not too sure about this. You have some mixed feelings; a part of you says to YOLO it, but another part is hesitating about it, and you’re not sure what is exactly stopping you. Mingyu is a nice guy, very nerdy, and tall. Lots of girls want him, but it turns out he wants you. What’s the worst that can happen?

A notification from an unknown number pops up on your phone. The message was from Mingyu, and he was asking you out to lunch some time. It took you a while to respond since you and your friend were getting giddy over it. But you ended up agreeing to have lunch with him.

The lunch date with him wasn’t too bad. He was super sweet when you two were conversing. He always kept complimenting you, and it made your heart skip a beat. He did it often, and your pounding heart began to feel sort of different. You weren’t feeling quite ecstatic, but you figured you were just nervous.

From there, you’ve gone on several dates with him, and at this point, you’re just waiting for him to ask you to be his girlfriend. There’s no rush; he’s probably not ready, so you might as well wait for him. The more dates you go on with him, the more you’re hoping he doesn’t ask you. But on one date, he ends up asking you to be his girlfriend, and without thinking before speaking, you immediately say yes.

You never told anyone except your friend about the two of you being together, and you never found yourself with him during biochemistry. You weren’t too sure why you did that, but the relationship ended when you told him you couldn’t give him the same amount of love he gave you. That was only because you found yourself staring at Seungcheol for only two seconds. Your relationship with Mingyu lasted for only two months. 

When you told your friend about the breakup, she was surprised that you didn’t cry about it. She kept pestering you to tell her why you broke up with him, only to get a vague response from you that you just felt bad. You weren’t sure if it was the pang of guilt for staring at Seungcheol or the fact that you didn’t actually like Mingyu, but you were sure it had to do something with Seungcheol.

“Hah, Cheol just sent me another stupid brain-rotted reel,” you say out loud to your friend, scrolling through Instagram on your phone while she does the same.

“Seungcheol? I thought you said you guys don’t text anymore." Your friend’s curiosity piqued right when you mentioned that name.

“No, no. We don’t text like that anymore, but we send reels here and there. He probably just does it to annoy me or infiltrate our DMs. The only time he ever texts me is when he’s waiting for me by the studio,” you tell her, not realising she never knew that you always meet up with him at the end of the day.

“He’s the one giving you rides on Tuesdays? I thought that was Mingyu.”

“Nope. Seungcheol takes the same route going to the dorms, so he offered to give me rides once a week.”

“Is that why you broke up with Mingyu?” Your friend’s question makes your eyes go wide. You close your phone and get up from resting on her headboard to look at her properly.

“I–” You don’t want to continue your words; it’s most likely something you wouldn’t want to hear, especially if it’s about Seungcheol. “I’m… starving. Let’s eat first and talk about that later,” you mutter, hoping she forgets about it later on.

You never ended up talking to her about that, and you hope she never brings it up.

Seungcheol places a cup of coffee on the table in front of you. You were resting your head on the table, but immediately lifted up when Seungcheol sat next to you. “You look like you were dying today, so I got you some energy.” You thank him for the drink and start downing it like you were parched for days.

He picks up your notebook and starts analyzing the draft you drew. “What’s this for?” He asks, pointing at the lazy sketch of a jacket.

“It’s for my fashion properties assignment. We have to make an outfit out of fabric given to us. Mine is leather, so I’ve been brainstorming how to make this jacket look cute but comfy. I already drew the skirt for it.”

“I think you can easily come up with something. Your designs are cool and leather looks hard to work with, but you’re always dedicated,” Seungcheol assures you, hoping you don’t crash out in front of him over this.

You scoff. “Hah, what do you know about fashion?” Pointing out his every-day lazy black hoodie and grey sweat pants combination. 

“Okay, not everyone wants to wake up early and choose what to pair their tops with their bottoms! Some just pull out whatever they have,” he rolls his eyes.

“You would not survive fashion school,” you joke, making Seungcheol huff but grin. As much as he can be annoying and get annoyed by you, he’ll never take a joke seriously.

If only he knew how much he makes your day by his annoyance.

Life was calm. You were so close to finishing the leather jacket, only having to attach the pockets, but you decided to take a break and finish it another day. You still had to work on the skirt, but you had plenty of time—grateful that this project is due in six months.

While waiting in the mall for your friends to come back from the washroom, you were sitting down and sketching out a new design in your journal.

You were thinking of making a top for your friend since her birthday was coming up soon. She would definitely like a sweatshirt. Your name gets called out, turning your head in that direction, and you see your friends walk out the washroom.

The three of you walk around, thinking of what stores to check out. Jiwon brings up going to the shoe store nearby, so the two of you follow her. You roam around the store, looking at the different kinds of shoes. Platforms, Mary Janes, sneakers, boots, all kinds that were in your size and style.

“…Yo what the heck? I didn’t know you work here.” You overhear Jiwon. She was talking to one of the workers, most likely a friend of hers. He’s tall and kind of cute. His glasses sit on the top of his head, and you caught him glancing at you while talking to your friend.

You avert your eyes to the black loafers, picking it up as you examine them. Your other friend goes up to you and asks your opinion if she should get brown boots or black boots. After she tried both on, you told her to get the black pair since she already owns a brown one.

As you accompany your friend to the check-out, Jiwon goes up to you and says she needs to go buy some makeup after this. You looked at her friend, who was standing by the counter, catching him staring at you again. He quickly turns his head and walks away.

It only took a week later to meet Jiwon’s friend again at a café. You were sitting alone by the window and still sketching out the top for your friend, so focused that you didn’t notice someone was standing in front of you.

“Can I sit here?” He asks, making you look up. You nod and go back to sticking your head into your journal. He sits in the chair facing and starts a conversation. “You’re one of Jiwon’s friends, right?”

You put your pencil down and look at him. “Yeah, and you are?”

“Dokyeom,” he introduces himself with a smile, sticking his hand out for a handshake.

You shake his hand. “(Name).”

You got to know a lot about him and talked about how the both of you met Jiwon. He was her classmate since high school, and you met her in your fashion design courses. You ended up exchanging numbers, and the moment you left to go back home, you spammed your friend with multiple messages.

As usual, you laid on her bed while you yapped to her about him. It’s always been this way with every guy you both encounter since your high school days. You talked for a while, not even realising it was already midnight—at least it’s a weekend night.

You spoke to Dokyeom very often. Always texting during your lectures and even calling at night. Sometimes you would even call him while you were sewing. There was something familiar about him every time you talked, and it felt nice.

One time you were on call, he asked you about your ideal type. You never really had an ideal type, so you said common traits all your crushes had from the top of your head. “Someone tall, kind, and a cute smile too. I’d want them to be smart and productive as well.”

"So...me basically,” he jokes. You agreed without a thought and that conversation started your relationship with Dokyeom.

You really like him. He was kind and entertaining. He was always fun to your friends and was nice to everyone. He always took you out on dates and took you home. Unlike Mingyu, Dokyeom made sure that the world knew you were his.

He really loved you and wanted to show everyone that he did. And by every one, he meant every one. The news got to Seungcheol one day and it all just stopped. The daily brain-rotted reels he sends you ended up being three times a week. 

He barely got a response from you to the reels, and you only reacted to the messages. He slowed them down and sent them to you once a week. The only time you responded to a reel he sent, he left your message on ‘seen’, and then stopped sending you reels.

It’s not that he hated you or anything. He just knew you had a boyfriend now, so he didn’t want to go against your relationship’s boundaries. He would still pick you up every Tuesday, but the car ride conversations were always about school now or sometimes silent. He never asked about Dokyeom, and you never brought him up.

Being distant with Seungcheol kind of hurt, but you knew you were just getting over him and Dokyeom was there to help you. Or so you thought. Somehow, there would be conversations you have with Dokyeom, and you would absentmindedly bring up Seungcheol.

The first time you did, he asked who he was, and he didn’t sound jealous, just curious. You explained that he was just an old crush from high school and that he was basically a distant friend to you now. 

He got more curious about him so you showed him his profile once. He looked through his account and started saying how you downgraded so much, pointing out Seungcheol’s physique.

You didn’t want Dokyeom to be hurt, so you began assuring him that he was much better than Seungcheol. You admit that Seungcheol played you back in high school and that he’s not even all that. Ever since that, you would bring down Seungcheol.

You were convinced you disliked Seungcheol, but Dokyeom always thought otherwise. Even though you would talk badly about him, your boyfriend still listened to you talk about him.

“I think you still like him,” Dokyeom brings up while you were ranting about what Seungcheol did to you in your junior year of high school. You were taken aback and denied so quickly. “You talk about him more than me,” he mutters. You apologized and assured him that you care about him more than Seungcheol.

“You know it’s okay if you still like him,” he considered. 

“No!” You retorted. “That’s just morally wrong! Why would I like another man while I’m in a relationship?! I don’t like him anymore, and I never will. I have you now, and you already make me happy.”

Dokyeom still wasn’t convinced, but he didn’t want to see you angry again, so he just nodded and patted your head.

Another time you brought up Seungcheol was when Dokyeom asked you who your first love was. When you admitted it was Seungcheol, he already knew since you always talked about him. When you asked him who his first love was, all he did was point at you, and that already made you regret saying your answer.

I never will. You said that in hopes you won’t ruin your relationship because of an old crush. Why do you always find yourself talking about Seungcheol anyway? He did you so wrong, and you’re sure he doesn’t care about you. Why was he even your first love?! 

A week later, you realized you were lying. After you told Seungcheol he doesn’t need to drop you off at your dorm anymore since Dokyeom could take you there, you ended up deleting his contact on your phone and unfollowing his Instagram. But after one car ride with your boyfriend, you thought about Seungcheol and what he really means to you. Dokyeom was right.

You went to Jiwon for advice about it, and she figured he would want you to admit it to him since all he wants is for you to be happy. That night, you confessed to Dokyeom that you still had feelings for Seungcheol, but it was only 1%—since 99% is for your boyfriend.

However, the more you saw Seungcheol, the feelings kept growing more. You never told Dokyeom, but you didn’t want to keep hurting him. On one random Monday afternoon, you met up with him at the same café you first met him and broke up with him on the spot. You never wanted to admit it was about Seungcheol, so all you told him was that you were just the problem in the relationship—which was true.

Your relationship with Dokyeom only lasted for six months, but for some reason, you felt relieved and free. It only took you a few days to realize that Dokyeom reminded you of Seungcheol, and you used him to fill that empty void since senior year. But no matter how loving Dokyeom was to you, you secretly hoped it was Seungcheol instead.

Guilt held onto you and convinced you that you were a bad person at this point. You knew you were going to die alone, but honestly, you’d rather have that than break someone’s heart again. Not only were you single—which you could care less about—you were still distant with Seungcheol. 

You tried not to care, but every time you saw him on campus, it always hurt to think about how distant you two are. It got to a point where you walked past him and neither of you said hi. You figured he hated you until you once had a dream about him when you got a fever.

You were at a party, and all of a sudden Seungcheol’s friends made fun of you. You blamed it on him and left the party. The scene changed, and you were walking with your friend to your next lecture. As you walked down the halls, you noticed your mother’s friend was with someone, so you greeted her, not bothered by the fact that your “aunt” was at your university. That someone she was with ended up being Seungcheol. When he smiled and waved at you, you frowned and ignored him as you walked away. 

You instantly jolted awake, sweating real bad as the headache you had earlier stopped. You looked at the time, 4:27. It’s Tuesday, and around this time, you would wait for Seungcheol to pick you up. You thought a lot about the dream and how you were so mean to him in that dream.

“I don’t want to hate him anymore,” you think to yourself. You open your phone to Instagram, look up his username, and immediately hit follow. Then you go to your contacts and type his number to remake his contact in your phone—still remembering his number and putting it in your phone like the first time you two exchanged numbers. 

Right when he followed you back three minutes later, you sent him a message about how you don’t like the two of you becoming distant and wanting to start over as friends. He agrees, and you ask to see him over lunch.

The next day you met up with him for lunch, and he was still the same annoying Seungcheol: always watching brain-rotted reels while you two talk and always teasing you. It feels nice to have this back, and you’re glad the two of you are not going to be distant anymore. Well, you thought you two were on bad terms, but everyone, including him, never thought that. It should’ve hit you that he could never hate anyone, so what would make him hate you?

After that, you went to the design studio thinking about Seungcheol. You really do like being friends with him, and you’re sure you don’t like him romantically. You soon realized that you didn’t need to bring him down in order to get over him. Today made you realise why he’s your first love. 

You finally finished the leather jacket and the skirt. You never realized how you never got to finish the outfit while you were with Dokyeom, but only being able to finish it when you were alone. The good part of being a single fashion designer is that you have a lot of time for yourself to design anything.

The bad part, though, is that people like you always make apparel for others but yourself. It took you a while to notice that the leather jacket was too oversized for the skirt. It’s a men’s jacket, and the measurements were for Seungcheol.

After handing in your design, you finally took some time to design something for yourself. Maybe some jeans or a cute sweater. Since Valentine's Day was coming up and you and your friends were invited to a party that day, you had an excuse to make a whole outfit for yourself.

You took several days brainstorming and sketching out what to wear, but you finally settled on something simple. Maybe you were too focused on creating your outfit that you didn’t realise Valentine’s Day was about love, and all of sudden all your friends had a date to the party.

“I can’t believe we’re the only ones without a date!” Your friend complains. “Even Jiwon is going with that red head guy!”

“Hey, we have each other. You should wear that top I made for you for your birthday.”

“I definitely will.”

The both of you lie down on her bed, except this time you’re not talking about guys. It’s not bad to not have a date, but you’ll be disgusted if you see your friends all over their dates.

“Hey, it’s kind of ironic how all our friends’ dates are all friends too. And they have three guys who still don’t have a date.”

“Yeah, no. Saerom tried setting me up with Junhui because she thought we’d be perfect for each other, but he keeps sending me cat photos. And didn’t he like everyone?”

“Yikes. I forgot his friend group is odd.” Right when you brought that up, you get a text from Minghao, Jun’s cousin. He asks you if you already have a date to the party, and you reply with a no. The only person from that friend group you can tolerate is Minghao. He’s pretty much normal, but he’s just a friend.

Minghao then asks you if you want to go with him to the party. “Oh, wow, Minghao is asking me out,” you say to your friend. “What should I say?”

“Yes! Are you crazy (Name)?”

“What about you, though?”

“I’ll be fine. I have Hayoung since she doesn’t want to go with anyone.”

“I’m pretty sure she’s not going to show up.”

“Still. Just go with him!”

You sigh and send him a thumbs up. A part of you only wants to do this for the fun of it, but another part of you doesn’t want to since you like being alone.

The day of the party rolls by, and you just finished up the dress you were making for it. All your friends agreed you were all going there together. You quickly made a few adjustments to your dress in the car, putting the pack of pins in your handbag. If there’s one thing you can’t go out in public without, it’s a sewing kit.

You arrive at the house where it was being held, and you see several people entering. When you all entered the house, your friends easily found their dates and you met up with Minghao.

You honestly just wanted to stay with your friend, so you stuck with her as Minghao followed behind with his friend. No matter how many times you wanted to be with your friend, your other friends and his friends always pushed you into Minghao’s arms and took pictures.

You felt that same pang of guilt when you were with Mingyu and Dokyeom. You know that feeling a bit too well, and all you want to do is leave the party with your friend. You eventually gave up and just stuck with Minghao for a while.

As you left him to go get a drink, you bumped into Seungcheol, who you thought doesn’t go to parties like these. "Hey, I thought your mom banned you from going to parties." He mentioned as you two walked to the kitchen.

“I thought you don’t go to parties? And my mom doesn't care anymore.”

“My friends convinced me to go here.” He picks up his phone, and his screen reveals ‘Mingyu’ as the person calling him, making your heart drop. He answers the call, hanging up seconds later. “Which, speaking of, are looking for me. I’ll see you around (Name)!” He walks the other way, and you leave the kitchen without a drink in your hand, only leaving with a pounding heart. 

You went back to Minghao and told him you were going to go home with your friend, and you left him without giving him a chance to say goodbye. Honestly, you hope Seungcheol didn’t see you with him and hope that none of your friends upload those photos. 

You looked for your friend and left the house together. Instead of going back to the dorms, you two just walked to the nearest convenience store to just hang out and calm down.

“So you don’t like Minghao?” Your friend asks as you look through the candies in the candy aisle of the store.

“I like him as a friend, just not in that way.” You confirmed, picking up a pack of gummy bears and following your friend to the drink aisle.

“I heard Saerom’s man was the one encouraging Minghao to ask you,” she points out.

“Junhui got pissed at me because I took his last person he was going to be with, like I kept telling him he can have his cousin!”

“What made you want to leave, by the way?”

You stayed silent as you watched her think of what beverage to buy. She looks back, waiting for an answer. “I think it’s because of me.”

She picks out an orange soda, and you two make your way to the cashier. “What do you mean?” She asks, in the middle of paying.

“I think I just like being single.” You two leave the store and sit down at a table right outside, placing your stuff on the table.

“And that’s okay. It’s not bad being single,” she assures, putting down the drink and holding your hand with one hand.

“I know it’s not. I just don’t do well with love; I keep hurting guys.”

“I can tell. I was there when Mingyu asked for your number, when Dokyeom said he was your ideal type, and when Minghao asked you out.”

You sigh and chuckle after. “Wow. I can’t believe I’m such a manipulator. I just led on three guys.”

“(Name) as much as I love you, that’s not something to be proud of.” You nod in response, repeatedly muttering a bunch of ‘I know’ to her. “You always keep saying it’s about you and your emotions. But have you ever considered it’s about Seungcheol?”

This is what your friend has wanted to discuss since your days with Mingyu. You knew your breakups were because of Seungcheol, but you never realized it wasn’t him, it was about him. That feeling in your heart you had earlier when you saw your ex’s name on his phone brings you back to freshman year.

You like Seungcheol.

“I think I still like Seungcheol,” you admit to your friend.

“All because you saw him earlier? Cause I saw you two talking in the kitchen,” she brings up about that little interaction that made you aware of your feelings.

“No. I think I always liked him, but I was in denial about it. Just think about it. I caught myself staring at Seungcheol while I was with Mingyu. Dokyeom told me I talk about him a lot. And well, Minghao never reminded me of him.”

“I figured. Whenever I asked you if you were going to be with your man, you were a bit soulless. No offence, but you were never excited when you talked about them. Now that I think about you, when you were with them, you never talked about them at all to us.”

You lowered your head, mentally slapping yourself for doing that. “It was so different from Seungcheol though. Every time you looked at Seungcheol and talked to him, it wasn’t the same with the others. I saw stars in your eyes. You didn’t like him; you were in love with him.”

Your friend is still holding onto your hand, ignoring the fact that you’re in the middle of having a heart to heart in front of a convenience store. 

“(Name), I think all you needed was to be honest with yourself. It’s okay to love Seungcheol. No matter how many hearts you break, you’re not a bad person. It just shows how caring you are. You can still be friends with him even if all our friends hate him. Even though I think what he did to you back in junior year was so messed up, you were so strong to go through that heartbreak. You are amazing and loving, and I want you to tell that to yourself every day.”

With your free hand, you cover your eyes with it. Your friend gave you tissue paper from her bag, as she was quick to notice that you were tearing up. She moves herself closer and brings you into her arms.

“Choi Seungcheol is one lucky man to have you love him.”

You got your leather jacket and skirt back, getting a 98% on it. As long as you got over the nineties for it, you’re happy. You only lost a few points for making it a men’s jacket instead of a women’s jacket. 

Since you got the jacket back, it would make sense to give it to Seungcheol since it’s clearly his size only. Your friendship with Seungcheol has been calm ever since that heart-to-heart with your friend. He still picks you up from the studio, but instead of taking you to your dorms, you two go on little side quests for fun. 

The weather has been getting warmer, so you two would go wherever to hang around outside. He picked up a hobby of taking photos due to a friend of his gifting him a camera. So every time he would drop you off at the dormitory, he would take a picture of you in front of the building.

“Open your sweater so you can show off the new shirt you made,” he requests, looking at you through the lens as he watches you zip down your sweater. You made an unserious shirt, printing a picture of a sock monkey on it. 

After hearing camera clicks, he puts the camera down. “Cute outfit,” he points out.

“And we need to work on your closet!” You tease.

He rolls his eyes and tells you good night, driving off when you tell him to rest well tonight. Right when you turn around, you face Jeonghan, who happens to be one of Seungcheol’s friends and lives on the floor above you.

“Wow, and Jisun said there was going on between you two,” he remarks. If there was anyone nosy about you two, it would be Jeonghan. According to Jisun, several guys—including Jeonghan—would ask about you and Seungcheol, some of whom she didn’t even know by name. 

"Yeah, cause we’re friends,” you confirm, heading to the elevator as Jeonghan follows you in.

“I asked Seungcheol if he still likes you, and he said he likes you as a friend only.”

Even though you’re quite annoyed by him, you still manage to respond to that. “Well, he never had feelings for me, so he’s valid for that. Plus, I like it that way.”

“So you can’t be delusional anymore,” he jeers as the elevator comes to a stop on your floor. You step out of the elevator, hoping Jeonghan just minds his own business and stays in there.

“I like being his friend anyway, Yoon Jeonghan,” you mimic his tone as you watch the doors close in front of him.

You’re not wrong with your words, though. You love being friends with Seungcheol.

Seungcheol and you are on your usual side quests after he picks you up from the studio. This time there were bands performing at a nearby park, so you went there to chill. You brought the jacket, but held onto it considering he’s going to assume it’s yours.

As you picked a spot to sit down, there was already music and the sky was getting dark soon—before that, you two went to feast yourselves with cheap ramen and an unhealthy amount of soda. 

You hand him the jacket without saying anything; he takes it with a puzzled expression displayed. “It’s the leather jacket I was designing a few months ago. I accidentally made it your size,” you speak up, smiling as you watch his perplexed expression turn into an ecstatic smile.

“Accidentally? Or did you intentionally make it for me?” He jokes as he puts it on, making you push his shoulder.

“This is going to be the last time I’ll ever make you something.” You snootily look away. He laughs and apologizes—always apologizing after he makes fun of you.

You two stayed silent as you swayed to the music. It’s calm and sweet. You could stay in this moment forever, nothing and no one to bother you. Right now could be a good time for Seungcheol to make another stupid joke, but he seems to be enjoying the music too.

This is what you need. Nothing romantic with him, but close to him. The sky was dark, and you pointed out the fairy lights hanging around the trees. Seungcheol lies down his head on the grass, now staring at the sky, as you follow along.

“Sky is too cloudy to see stars,” he mentions. You avert your eyes from the sky to him, turning your head to comfortably gaze at him. He was still looking up. You don’t expect him to look back; he never does. But you enjoy this, just intaking his unforgettable face.

“Thank you, (Name),” he mutters, “for coming here with me.”

You don’t respond right away, still listening to the music. “Of course, but I’m sorry,” you let out, now turning your head to gaze up at the sky again.

“Sorry for what?” He asks, your no-context apology makes him look at you now, watching you stare at the non-existing stars—just like his love for you.

“Still being in love with you.”

svt masterlist .ᐟ

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

recently i've been decorating my guest room a bit more, now that you can auto battles, which in turn got me paying more attention to the kinds of style characters prefer. with some it feels pretty predictable (like lilia's unique + cute combo or azul's stylish elegance), while others are slightly harder for me to decode. since i feel like there's quite the intent behind those decisions (cater's preference for cute things as well as simple things or jade's preference being not only stylish but also simple, practical) and you're very insightful, i was wondering if you had any thoughts on the topic :)

I think the characters’ theme preferences make sense overall! Some might just take a little more brain power to come to a reasonable conclusion. For example, Cater might like Cute things due to his mother and older sisters’ influence—but also due to the shallow Magicam obsessed persona he usually shows the world. His true nature might gravitate more to Basic things, as we see him with makeup products that have minimal packaging and pretty toned down colors in his Relax in Room SSR card. Jade likes Stylish things, as he makes efforts to present as well-groomed… to get people to trust him. He also likes Basic because he has a talent for finding practical uses for things—both people and items, as he can easily manipulate both to suit his needs. I’m not going to comment on every possible character, since there’s way too many to speak about individually. However, you can basically follow this logic for each of them:

Riddle — Stylish, Unique

Trey — Elegant, Cute

Cater — Cute, Basic

Ace — Unique, Stylish

Deuce — Basic, Elegant

Leona — Elegant, Unique

Ruggie — Cute, Basic

Jack — Basic, Stylish

Azul — Elegant, Stylish

Jade — Stylish, Basic

Floyd — Unique, Cute

Kalim — Cute, Unique

Jamil — Stylish, Elegant

Vil — Elegant, Stylish

Rook — Unique, Elegant

Epel — Basic, Cute

Idia — Unique, Elegant

Ortho— Unique, Cute

Malleus — Stylish, Basic

Lilia — Cute, Unique

Silver — Basic, Elegant

Sebek — Stylish, Unique

Grim — Cute, Basic

Rollo — Elegant, Stylish

Fellow — Unique, Cute

Crowley — Stylish, Basic

Crewel — Elegant, Stylish

Trein — Elegant, Basic

It’s really interesting how furniture theme preferences can easily translate into other aspects of characters’ individual tastes. For example, themes could indicate something about the character’s… well, character, or personal style, even style preferences for a potential partner or for dressing friends.

If we looked at shared theme preferences:

Basic + Cute/Cute + Basic: Cater, Ruggie, Epel, Grim

Basic + Elegant/Elegant + Basic: Deuce, Silver, Trein

Basic + Stylish/Stylish + Basic: Jack, Jade, Malleus, Crowley

Elegant + Cute: Trey

Unique + Cute/Cute + Unique: Floyd, Kalim, Ortho, Lilia, Fellow

Elegant + Unique/Unique + Elegant: Leona, Rook, Idia

Stylish + Elegant/Elegant + Stylish: Azul, Jamil, Vil, Rollo, Crewel

Stylish + Unique/Unique + Stylish: Riddle, Ace, Sebek

Deuce and Silver, both children of single parents, share the same themes. Funny, cuz Silver says he’d want Deuce as his brother in his Union Birthday vignettes.

Malleus and Crowley having the same themes will feed the “Crowley is Malleus’s long last dad” theory 😂

Trey is the only character so far with a theme preference unique to him.

NOT LEONA AND ROOK HAVING SIMILAR TASTES… I just picture Rook hovering in their shared homeroom and blabbing about interior design and Leona hating that he agrees with ROOK HUNT of all people 💀 (Idia probably hates sharing his tastes with these two, lol)

Vil and Crewel having the same themes makes sense. They have similar aesthetic sense, I think. They also worked together in the Fairy Gala events.

Interesting how Ace shares tastes with Riddle and Sebek, two people he is shown to frequently butt heads with.

If we break the groupings down into their top preference (because yes, order matters and the first/top theme is given priority):

Elegant: Trey, Leona, Azul, Vil, Rollo, Crewel, Trein

Unique: Ace, Ruggie, Floyd, Rook, Idia, Ortho, Fellow

Basic: Deuce, Jack, Epel, Silver

Stylish: Riddle, Jade, Jamil, Malleus, Sebek, Crowley

Cute: Cater, Kalim, Lilia, Grim

bcjsbsjenke Crewel and Trein both like Elegant but they also fight like a dog and cat… The irony.

Fitting how “the outcasts” like Unique. Ace the Heartslabyul rebel, Ruggie the extreme poverty representation and disliked hyena, Floyd the flippant, Rook THE local weirdo, Idia the shut-in, Ortho the robot, and Fellow the man with unfortunate life circumstances.

Basic likers 😭 I was not surprised to find Jack and Epel here… They’re pretty practical.

Class 2E boys (Riddle and Jade) like Stylish. Dnsbkwdbkdks Aw, Sebek also shares this with Malleus…

Light/Pop Music Club share a love for Cute!! That’s a nice touch www

[infiniteeight8]

Ironstrange: soulmarks show potential/compatible soulmates and change (appear, fade, etc). Tony has one that has never changed, no matter how often he interacts with Strange. How does Stephen win him over?

I ended up doing a fair bit of mental world building to get this to work in my brain. I hope the result is interesting!

-

“Tony,” Stephen says, approaching him after an Avengers meeting has wrapped up. “Could we speak in private?”

Tony has been dreading this day ever since he spotted the mosaic decorating Stephen’s chest and realized that the design filling one of the hexes matched one of the pie slices in the circle Tony bears on his shoulder. But there’s no avoiding it, not really. “Yeah, alright,” he says, and Stephen’s brow wrinkles at the reluctant note that Tony doesn’t even try to suppress. Might as well start lowering his expectations now.

Tony leads them into a spare conference room. No point in making this too personal. Hitching one hip up on the table, he waits for Stephen to close the door behind himself and then waves for him to go on.

“We have soulmate potential,” Stephen says carefully.

“I’m aware.”

Stephen is quiet for a moment. “I take it you’re not interested in pursuing that.”

Well, this is already going better than expected. “I’m not,” Tony confirms. 

“May I ask why?”

“Sure,” Tony offers lightly and waits. 

Impressively, Stephen doesn’t seem frustrated or impatient despite being forced to ask the question again: “Why are you not interested in pursuing a potential soulmate?”

“Because I’ve been down this road before,” Tony says bluntly. “Three times, actually. Potential soulmates who come to me full of pretty promises about what our future could look like if only I’d let them in, give them a chance, open up. They push and they push and they push because they’re so sure we’re going to be perfect together, and when the mark never activates they get angry and resentful and blame me for not trying hard enough. I should have learned from the first two, but the third… The third was Pepper. At least I managed to salvage a friendship out of that one. 

“In my experience,” Tony went on, “soulmate potential doesn’t improve relationships, it ruins them. I’m not interested in going through that again.”

Stephen is quiet for a long minute. Tony waits for the argument for how Stephen is different. Maybe he’ll claim the silver mark—a platonic soulmate—on his chest means he knows how this works. Maybe he’ll argue that they have more in common, both being heroes. Maybe he thinks magic gives him extra  insight into the whole soulmate concept. 

“I understand,” Stephen says eventually. “I hope we can be friends, eventually, but I imagine you’ll want some distance first.”

He turns and opens the conference room door, and it’s then, when Tony is still staring after him in disbelief, that Tony feels the flare of heat in his shoulder.

Stephen stops, but doesn’t turn back. Tony yanks his shirt off and cranes his neck to peer at his shoulder. “Well, look at that,” he says, bemused. Stephen’s pie slice shines gold. “Apparently all I needed was for someone to respect my choice.” He looks up to find Stephen still in the doorway, shoulders tense. “Get back here, Stephen.”

Stephen closes the door and hesitantly comes back to stand before Tony. “You’re sure?” His eyes go to Tony’s shoulder and the golden mark.

“I’ve never had an activated mark before,” Tony says. “The variables have changed.” Stephen arches an eyebrow and Tony rolls his eyes. “That’s a yes. I’m sure.”

Stephen smiles. “Good.”

[artisicallya-rambo]

Pokemon trainer Batgirls (and Duke)! I also have a little extra lore for these guys adding on from my batboys one (Here) and my Yj designs (here)

(lore below the cut)

Like the previous batch all of these guys are part of Bruces ghost type gym (the 'W' emblem showing that). As I said in my last lore dump Cass would be at the gyms entrance with Jason, acting like fake out evil Grunts . And, because mute Cass has my entire heart, i'm making her mute in this universe too. Although I don't really know how that'd work in a video game? I did contemplate giving her some unknown Pokémon to act like sign language but 1) she would need an entire library of them to use effectively and 2) I was very attached to the idea of giving her a snorlax so she'd probably just use sign language or a text to speech app to communicate, but i think she'd be mostly silent because she isn't particularly chatty in any of the comics i've read. I imagine the group would find Duke right by the gates to the town the gym is located in. Duke would be the most nervous/ awkward of the group when it comes to Tim as he was added to the gym after Tims left and feels a bit weird about them meeting in a battle. Stephanie is probably also early into the town (I'm thinking near Dick) and I don't think she's technically part of the gym and more of a girl who lives in the town and became so close to Cass and Tim that she just wears the symbol and battles trainers for fun. Steph is the most talkative of the group and would talk thought the whole battle, most of it likely being her making fun of Tim while the rest of the Young Justice gang stares on in confusion. I imagine the battle with Steph would be when the team is beginning to get suspicious that something more is going on than Tim just having been to this gym before, and they would start to attempt to question him about it but Tim just keeps dodging his questions. ( I think that when the reveal after the battle that Tim is Bruces son happens, Bart is completely unsurprised and connected the dots like two gyms ago.)

Babs was a bit of a wild card for me, i'm thinking she'd play a bit of a nurse joy role in this world and run the poke centre by the gym. She'd be the only one of Tims siblings you'd (likely) meet after the reveal, and I think she'd be very nice to Tim but the moment he's gone she'd interrogate the rest of Young Justice to make sure her baby brothers' team doesn't suck. And quickly realises their good trainers but the dumbest people she's ever met. Which she is very concerned about until she sees them interacting and sees how happy Tim is with them and decides to let it go.

[local-null-nb]

Ok questions:

Does the urethra always need to come out in that spot or can you get a cloaca kinda thing?

You alluded to this but can someone be fully sexually active? Are there drawbacks? Are there benefits? Is it customizable?

Can pubic hair be retained?

Can other designs besides smooth be done?

Do people get cool tattoos there? Are tattoos often used as part of the process such as men tattooing a bell onto their penis?

IS THERE SOMEWHERE I CAN FIND SOME FREAKING PICTURES ON THE GOD DAMN INTERNET BECAUSE I HAVE FOUND NONE

Might be more questions later lol. Im very interested in this surgery type. Thanks for your time btw.

I believe there might be some choice available for the urethra location but very limited, I do not know enough about what you thinking of regarding a cloaca but I don't think so.

One can definitely be sexually active after as you can choose to keep all the nerves responsible for sexual sensation embedded under the skin, though typical frontal penetrative sex isn't applicable anymore, for the front it would have to be grinding, tapping, vibrators, ETC.

The main drawback IMO is that if one is starting from having testicles your body will no longer produce sufficient sex hormones and taking hormone supplements becomes medically necessary for bone and heart health. Recovery can be a bit annoying too but it's very short for bottom surgery.

For benefits see my daily reason posts, or just the rest of my blog.

The most customizable aspect to my knowledge is placement of the sensitive nerves, and if you choose to keep them. You can also choose what parts you do and don't want to keep if you like some parts of your existing genitals.

Pubic hair is retained, it's my understanding that if you want to get it removed that'll be a different matter.

I haven't seen people get tattoos there but it sounds like a lovely idea!! If you keep the sensitive nerves then it'll be quite painful presumably.

I found googling "Nullification surgery results" gave some pictures from surgeons websites, this one gives the clearest picture from a quick search.

davisplasticsurgery .com/uploads/4/9/7/8/49788699/nullo-3.jpg

All the photos though are within days of the surgery so they don't look the nicest - swelling does down over time and the wound heals.

I plan on posting my own photo soon since there are so few photos of it well past recovery.

Glad to receive your questions! Feel free to send more!!

[midnight---hollow]

Im probably gonna go into more detail on this in the future but its been tisming in my mind and i cant draw rn cus im waiting for my new drawing tablet so imma just drop this know and maybe sketch some cute designs when i can

So ive been think of after nrc cus i saw abunch of cute fanart of azul and floyd (weirdly not much of jade) and i started thinking of what my interpretation of after nrc would be and here are my thoughts

This includes abunch if my own headcanons but i try to stay close to the actual game and my hcs are based off of ingame quotes and implications

Jade 100% is gonna be the twin to take over the family business. I think jade and floyd would have equal power but floyds not gonna help unless he feels like it leading jade to do most of the work. Im my version of the coral sea the leech family owns the largest territory in the deep sea area so most days would be doing daily care for it and bossing people. I do think he would work extremely close to azul but that will be talked apon in azuls bit

Floyd is floyd. He does what he wants and goes where he wants. He helps jade then he gets bored and annoys azul. He disappears for a week and hes traveled the world in that time span and learned how to do the cha cha slide. He is literally floyd he can do and be whatever he wants though usually thats around azul cus azul is azul

I love mafia aus with octivenelle they are so good so yummy i eat that shit up, but in trying to keep this more ingame logical based and not completely biased (its still heavily biased) i dont think after book 3 azul would make a mafia. There is a quiet but still present shift in how azul handles business before and after book 3. We literally see him tear his own contracts in glomas and while yes he is very stingy and smart and conniving, he is not like how he once was.

This might be silly but its my favorite idea and makes me giggle and kick me feet alot. I like the idea of azul just buying an island and making his own tourism town from the ground up. There is a mostro lounge x his moms restaurant collab there, a classic tourism dock, a club owned by the leech family, and those cool shop towns. I imagine there would be shady back deals (hed build it in the leech family’s territory) but i think the general idea of it is more genuine with a bonus of fish mafia black market if it should so be. Idk i like the idea of him making something that ties humanity (the thing he clings to since its probably still a bitch hard for him to truly be comfortable in his mer form) with his merside (something he loves but was ruined for him because of the bullying). Maybe its cheesy but i really like the idea of it

Like i said the island would be build in the leech territory. I dont think they are gonna split up, i dont think im being delusional because i hold them all close to heart no i think they are all oblivious liars, they can not fool me with the “well drop him so fast” shit if that was the case they would have dropped him when he overblotted or threw his tantrum or during his dream. The twins are not the type of people to give three chances to someone azul is just built different in their eyes and i think they would still stew and plan together cus you know azul cares for them and wants them to stay. You heard the “floyd jade! You came back to me” these are some of the only people to give him a chance and show him affection (even if they 100% made him worse) they are sticking together.

In my other post i mentioned how i think the leech family business would be about giving into your desires based on how the twins both act, i think they would run a casino and or club on the island. Its a way to siphon money in their pockets, pour unfortunate souls who just need a bit more money to azul (who would still do contracts obviously just not as crazily impossible to win against as before) and entertainment for them. I think a successful tourist island would kinda be like a flex on the other territories because not that many have proper human connections. Its a power boost and the start of potential more leech family properties in the future if it takes off well.

Bonus round is my oc veeyuu (im prob changing the name but it makes me laugh which is why i havent yet). They would continue to stay by azuls side. Even with the contract being destroyed back in book three and veeyuus debt to the ashengrottos being paid off, they wouldnt want to leave him. I think they would work on the island with the more brighter peaceful side of things, helping shop owners, bringing in tourists, maybe even making their own crafts and pastries to sell though they would be bad at the money aspect of owning a business. They give azul all of the information he needs from around the island and doesnt mind getting their hands dirty again but i think veeyuu enjoys finally being at peace

These are just my thoughts from today cus it’s become my obsession immediately. I need to rework it and rethink it and make sure its accurate but thats my take and i want to draw them how I think they would look in 10 years to cus it makes me happy and i think jade would go a bit more punk and vee would have a cute hat and floyd would have tattoos and azul would have a more peaceful face. No more tightened eyebrows (he has them when floyd comes back from his trips)

[lucagray813]

Shí Xióng

Meet Shí Xióng (石熊), the Stone Bear, or Zǒu Xíng Shí Xióng (走形石熊), the Misshapen Stone Bear, to give him his full self-imposed title.

In the canon of Monkey Talk, Nǚwā was tasked by the Jade Emperor to carve Heaven a champion out of Monkey King's stone egg, which had mysteriously put itself back together and found its way into Heaven's hands, and while MK was the ultimate result of this, she had many failed attempts before him, Shí Xióng being one of them.

After creating MK, she vowed to dedicate herself to "fixing her mistakes", and Shí Xióng, being the most stable of her creations acts as one of her assistants.

He is largely in control of himself and his powers with the notable exception being his shape shifting abilities. Often, he is not in the form he wants to be in - he's missing an ear, one arm is shorter than the other, he's too tall, he's too short, or one hand is a bear paw while the other is more human. The list goes on and he can't really do anything about it. Thus why he calls himself "misshapen".

In addition, if he tries to use the 72 transformations to take the form of another animal they always look distinctly bear-like.

He harbours a great deal of self-loathing at his perceived failings and feels conflicted about just about everyone involved in the story of his creation - Nǚwā, the Jade Emperor, Monkey King, MK.

Ultimately, however he is loyal to Nǚwā. Even if he believes her to be misguided in many things - her faith in Heaven's plans, her approach to fixing him and his kin, her understanding of the Tao - he knows she is not malicious or cruel by nature and that she cares about him and his kin in her own way.

So if, and when, the time comes, he won't fight for Heaven but he will do what he can to save her from harm.

He is serious and hardworking and shows very little personality when Nǚwā is around. But while he is the most stable of her creations, he does still occasionally have lapses of control, and he has had episodes in the past where he has become angry and violent - attacking his kin, destroying property and hurting himself.

Nǚwā suggested meditation to see if that could help him any and it did, but not in the way she thinks it did. He knows significantly more than most about what's coming, all of his "broken" kin do, and he has no plans to stand in the way of change.

He's a very minor character in terms of the overall plot, might not even get a mention in the actual fanfic, but I'm working on a little project and one of the prompts was "bear" and I just ran with it.

So this is what he's "supposed" to look like but he rarely does. His clothes are Nǚwā's colours but simpler in design to signify his lower position as her assistant. Although there is inspiration taken from Monkey King's design for the belt/tie and for the colour of his fur. The red and teal marks on his head frequently change place and shape.

His design might change a bit but I think I'm more or less there with it? It was fun, and challenging!, trying to design an OC where there was no existing base model from the show to work off! (Although I did use Azure for proportions and for his hands and feet!) And I think I did alright! Definitely needed this How to Draw a Bear guide tho!

But yeah, all of this was essentially inspired by this one shot from the show:

[skyarly]

what if pachirisu had an evolution and also it was dragon type

[sysig]

Dr. “Has to get a good grade in therapy” Doran (Patreon)

[hana-bobo-finch]

tis here!! My stupid little beta pdbc comic!! UHHHHH

additional ramblings because I don’t know how to stop yapping:

I know the ending is extremely abrupt but honestly? I can’t even lie I think it’s funnier and somehow more in character that way. There is no way in hell he’d question what just happened he’d just lay on the floor and say “alas!” As if that is in any way is a proper response to what just happened. So no apologies for that, I genuinely think the ending is amazing and won’t hear anything else. Alas.

I WAS REALLY SCREWED OVER WITH THE TEN IMAGE MOBILE LIMIT SO THE PACING IS VERY IFFY!! That alongside the fact I wanted to get this out as quickly as possible to gauge opinions and such—therefore making this much less detailed than I’d like to have made it, yes that’s my own fault I know—means that I couldn’t properly show what the briar zome is like (HEARTBREAKING). It’s a lot more spacious and unending than what’s shown here. In this it only looks like you’re there for a few minutes but experiences there can last up to a week. There are also a lot more thorns and spiked vines, it’s just that, like I said, I wanted to get this posted quickly and coloring in all of those spikes probably took more time than some of the drawings themselves. Had I made this as accurate to canon as possible, it would be much more visually cluttered. The briar zome is VERY hard to traverse because almost everything is covered in thorns (hence the name). Also worth noting that although it’s seemingly wintry there, there’s no actual temperature in the briar zome which is why pumpkin daddy is not fucking freezing to death (you have to look DAPPER when you’re illegally eating crabs)

This technically isn’t canon. This is a mishmash of all of the stuff I have about the briar zome, but in canon it’s all much more spread out, e.g. the eyes weren’t discovered until a few trips in when they actually bothered trying to figure out if/where the briar zome ends, in which BAM they found a buncha eyes!! Speaking of the eyes, their official names are Sotes, and where they’re found is called the “Eyes Rink” (GET IT!!! EYES!!! ICE!!! GET I-💥💥💥)

you’re probably wondering what the Miika chimp incident is, which is a fair thing to be wondering, however I will not be elaborating because I think it’s funnier that way. sorry (I am not at all sorry)

AND THE TIIIIIIME yes indeed the time works differently there. As one could. Probably guess by the wack-ass watch positions. The briar zome does in fact have its own time system that’s displayed differently than most would be used to. Alas, I had to cut that part short because I realized I was quickly running out of pages and I really wanted space to draw some of those beautiful beautiful eyeballs. I has this whole lecture about different types of watch hand designs and their names but that was unfortunately cut for time (ironically)

anyway uh. hope this was somewhat enjoyable? *EXPLODES*

[andragoras-in-vanity]

im distraught, my rook has elgar'nans vallaslin.....

[buttercup-art]

hey

[arolesbianism]

Time for more eternal gales isat au, this time featuring Sier as Isabeau, creating a sprite I can never use next to Aris’ because despite my best efforts it would make them look tall

[kaurwreck]

fav chuuya trivia: he’s a lightweight and a wine collector. combine it with the fact that poisons a weakness for him, ability wise, and too much alcohol is in fact poison. he chooses that often.

bonus: combine that with the fact that dazai’s coming of age came with going to a bar, and i don’t know what that means

anon cause shy

Untitled I. My dear, even though you treat me kindly, I'm stubborn. After we parted last night, I went drinking and berated some weakling. This morning, Waking up, I remember your kindness And sadly reflect on my vile behavior. And now, I, a total fraud, will here confess that, without shame, Stripped of all dignity, and therefore lacking honesty— I was urged on by my own illusions, raving mad. [...] III. In this world we sadly live in like this, your heart— Don't let it grow stubborn my dear Because I hope for intimacy with you Your heart— don't let it grow stubborn my dear.

[Excerpted from Poems of the Goat, written by Chuuya Nakahara, translated by Ry Beville]

[musubiki]

okay im actually a little emotionally attached to mochis shop being a little cat bookstore now

[sysig]

Anyway, back to testing (Patreon)