#and how when shirase wanted to ground him and render him someone shirase felt he could face both honestly and to fight he poisoned him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kaurwreck · 10 months ago

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fav chuuya trivia: he’s a lightweight and a wine collector. combine it with the fact that poisons a weakness for him, ability wise, and too much alcohol is in fact poison. he chooses that often.

bonus: combine that with the fact that dazai’s coming of age came with going to a bar, and i don’t know what that means

anon cause shy

Untitled I. My dear, even though you treat me kindly, I'm stubborn. After we parted last night, I went drinking and berated some weakling. This morning, Waking up, I remember your kindness And sadly reflect on my vile behavior. And now, I, a total fraud, will here confess that, without shame, Stripped of all dignity, and therefore lacking honesty— I was urged on by my own illusions, raving mad. [...] III. In this world we sadly live in like this, your heart— Don't let it grow stubborn my dear Because I hope for intimacy with you Your heart— don't let it grow stubborn my dear.

[Excerpted from Poems of the Goat, written by Chuuya Nakahara, translated by Ry Beville]

#bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bungo stray dogs #japanese poetry #thank you for sharing!!#no need to explain anon to me #you are entitled to your mysteries and boundaries and bashfulness #i have anon on because i feel comfy and fine with people engaging however feels most comfortable to them #also i'm going to avoid commenting on what y'all share because i'm already sharing in return by offering up chuuya poetry that strikes me #and because i don't want anyone to think that a lack of a more specific response isn't because i didn't go !!!!! at what they shared #(this exercise is designed so I can also work throughout the day while getting chuuya enrichment)#BUT #alcohol IS poison and that's something I've thought about a lot in my framing of it for myself and generally #but I've never connected it with chuuya's vulnerability to poison and how it is such an equalizer #and how when shirase wanted to ground him and render him someone shirase felt he could face both honestly and to fight he poisoned him #i wonder if alcohol makes chuuya feel a teeny bit more visceral and real and like a person in a body #rather than an experiment or a leader or an act of violence or the salve to someone's loneliness or the vessel of a storm #or someone who wants terribly to lead and protect but is so unsure of himself because of how much he understands the gravity of that role #which isn't to say i think he doesn't want to be a leader and doesn't want to be an act of violence or a salve or a liberated ex-experiment #all of these things and the choices he's made for and because of and despite these things are inextricable from who he is #but every so often #it's nice just to be flesh and electricity

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