local-null-nb

[local-null-nb]

were you told if it was safe or not to pursue laser hair removal in that area post-recovery? i vaguely remember hearing it had to be done pre-op but its tough to find good info. thank you and apologies if this has been asked/answered before!!

Interesting question! Looking into it I seen to have you've what you'd heard about-

Hair removal surgery is necessary to get before phalloplasty or vaginoplasty in the relevant area so that post op hair isn't growing where it shouldn't be, so if you look it up you'll find that you need it before any bottom surgery.

EXCEPT for the fact that actually you don't need it for Nullification surgery!!! I certainly didn't! The reason you need it for other surgeries is because the genital tissue is used to construct the new genitals, and you don't want hair inside spots it shouldn't be, but since nullification surgery doesn't construct new genitals it all works out!!

Regarding getting it post op - I'm not finding anything regarding Nullification surgery specifically however I'm seeing plenty of stuff saying that generally you can get hair removed in areas where you got surgery, you just have to wait for it to heal up first. Exactly timeline varies and would be something to discuss with your own surgeon.

[local-null-nb]

thank you so much for publishing your post op nullification surgery pictures. I'd never seen real casually photographed pictures of a bottom surgery like that and it's been just so enlightening I almost cried searching for and reading more personal accounts from people whove gotten similar bottom surgeries you all seem so crazy happy with it I nearly cried haha. Since I found ur page the other day it feels like. Idk. It's a euphoria like first realizing there are other trans people in this world but all over again lol. Out of curiosity I was wondering what about your experience with the process of making the decision in the first place?? What were your biggest worries if any pre op? Much love!!!! 🖤

Sorry for the delay answering!

I'm so glad my blog and similar resources have helped you so! Getting asks like this brings me so much joy I'm so glad I was helpful towards you!

Regarding my initial decision - I remember never being comfortable with what I had going on before, and then I'm highschool learning about Nullification surgery but being nervous to pursue it (I'm generally averse to medical stuff) and eventually telling my parents and some other people I wanted to pursue it I'm college, though bring met with a push to wait till after college (I regret waiting that extra time) - generally I just knew that every time I imagined it I wanted it to come true, and it not being the case was super uncomfortable.

My biggest worry was that they wouldn't do it all the way, that they would like still leave some genetalia for some reason - I asked my surgeon like 8 times making absolutely sure I'd be left with just a tiny hole lol.

I was also though concerned about my hormone situation since my body would barely be producing any, which I definitely should have had sorted beforehand instead of experiencing menopause symptoms for a month before getting on hormones. (Get it sorted beforehand!!)

Though in reality the biggest concern was post op depression, which hit me very recently (hence the delayed response) - generally I struggle with depression after achieving big goals (my brain hates when I'm not looking forward to something) and surgery was a BIG success, with the depression only being delayed by me getting a good job. I'm good now and generally have been feeling better than ever!!! I just struggle with dumb brain making good things bad ("if everything isn't perfect now after that, it'll never be perfect since nothing will be better!")

[local-null-nb]

Anyone in interest of an in depth example of the actual reality and experiences of Nullification Surgery as well as some post-recovery photos please feel free to explore this blog! It's primarily my personal experience but also includes research and resources for learning about Nullification surgery!

On a mission to demystify bottom surgery for girls like

no the risk of complications is not as high as you think

no you dont need to only go to one of two expensive surgeons, you can get good results in tons of places that your insurance will cover

no you wont lose ur trans status or be exiled from the community

yes you will get wet and cum and have a cute vulva and never need to tuck again

[local-null-nb]

Could you make your pee hole smaller if you wanted to? Or is that the default size?

I didn't ask my surgeon about it, though I imagine that the size is fairly restricted for practical purposes.

For the record when my legs aren't actively spread the hole is basically closed, feeling or looking at the area it's hard to tell where the hole is unless I'm actively spreading my legs, and even then it's pretty subtle. The photos I posted showing it took me like 20 minutes to get it as visible as possible to show the result.

[local-null-nb]

Yeah for Nullification surgery I was actually surprised how little scaring there was. I'm fine with it but if I had realized quite how little scarring there would be I would have considered asking them to leave some extra if safe. Not sure - not worth dwelling on for me but def worth asking about for you.

Talking to a specialist about planning my top surgery and she’s trying to reassure me that advances in modern medicine mean I can look forwards to minimal scarring and I say out loud “Oh I don’t care about scars” because “I think top scars are super hot actually and I’m super excited to have some” might come off weird

[local-null-nb]

POV: mister Devon Price, PhD, telling me that I am right about everything

Source: Unmasking Autism, discovering the new faces of neurodiversity

[local-null-nb]

YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TRANSGENDER

[local-null-nb]

Omg that's great you've already done the hardest part! The rest should be easy!

Trust your gfs... Join us...

windows users love complaining about microsoft to me and when i suggest linux they're all like nooo installing it is too harddddd and when i offer helping them going through this process that is as easy as installing windows (while having none of the drawbacks) they're all like. but im scareddddd

of what? actually owning your computer???

[local-null-nb]

I believe in you! It's scary to start but once you begin the process you'll see how approachable it actually is now! You can start by dual booting Linux Mint so it's nice and easy and won't mess with anything already on your computer.

Take the first step! Trans your computers gender! It'll feel like a new device that is truly yours!

The hardest part of the whole process is just finding a USB drive lol.

windows users love complaining about microsoft to me and when i suggest linux they're all like nooo installing it is too harddddd and when i offer helping them going through this process that is as easy as installing windows (while having none of the drawbacks) they're all like. but im scareddddd

of what? actually owning your computer???

[local-null-nb]

What's it like to go from having a libido to having none? Like, are you ever in situations you know used to turn you on but now don't? How does the memory of sexual pleasure feel to you?

So I never really enjoyed having a libido, so it has been nice. The process was slow where post-surgery I still had some urges but couldn't really satisfy them (even with the nerves, since I was still healing I couldn't really use them) so that was mildly annoying/uncomfortable.

I haven't really experienced much stuff that would have turned me on previously - the times I have I did notice my body like trying to do something? But like it didn't really work? And there was no feeling of like a need to satisfy! No visible indications + no compulsions makes it very ignorable and makes me very happy.

TBH I'd only really experienced sexual pleasure a few times in the past, with it usually being more just sexual relief/release or staving off boredom/depression, and my memories of the 2 times I really enjoyed it feel comparable to like an average time chilling in a hot tub in terms of enjoyment. (LOVE chilling in a hot tub)

[local-null-nb]

You know secrets hidden from everyone who knows me IRL and share in the usage of it/it's pronouns.

In several meaningful ways you know me better than my parents do, you simply lack most trivia about me.

Thank you for the validation.

i’m really intrigued, what led you down the path of surgery? and if you’re sexually active or masturbate, how does that work with no genitalia?

Well for as long as I remembered I never liked having any genitals at all, with any acknowledgement of them making me incredibly uncomfortable. Also just the sensation and reality of having a dangling sensitive body part that I can't control the movement of right between my legs just sucked.

I often fantasized about just being smooth between my legs, and that's what I subconsciously expected and was always frustrated when that wasn't what I saw. I was considering seeking out typical FTM bottom surgery when I learned nullification surgery existed and immediately I knew that's what I wanted - combined with the easier recovery compared to typical bottom surgery it was a no brainer.

Regarding sex/masturbation. I never really enjoyed sex with my body, and masturbation was always a chore to me so I didn't want to keep the sensitive nerves, which would have resulted in frontal sex not being an option (prostate still exists OFC and I can bring pleasure to others)

I did wind up keeping the nerves (pressure from my mom, worried I'd regret removing them (I now regret keeping them but I've accepted it)) so there is a sensitive bump under my skin now, that can be stimulated with tapping, rubbing, ETC. - I think a vibrator would work well but I don't care enough to buy one.

With hormone changes I don't really get horny anymore (I intentionally managed my hormones to achieve this) and I haven't orgasmed while conscious once since my surgery. I tried a couple times out of curiosity but I didn't try that hard. I have had 2 wet dreams in the 6 months since which never used to happen, so that's weird. (With the hormone and surgical changes my prostate produced the equivalent to vaginal fluid, making me get wet enough to be noticable after these dreams)

[local-null-nb]

Glad to provide insight!

And yeah like, between actively choosing to stop being horny and being glad with the result, and the fact that all the times I've tried to have sex in the past was either for a bit or out of social expectation I think it's fair to say I'm on the Ace spectrum?? I guess?

i’m really intrigued, what led you down the path of surgery? and if you’re sexually active or masturbate, how does that work with no genitalia?

Well for as long as I remembered I never liked having any genitals at all, with any acknowledgement of them making me incredibly uncomfortable. Also just the sensation and reality of having a dangling sensitive body part that I can't control the movement of right between my legs just sucked.

I often fantasized about just being smooth between my legs, and that's what I subconsciously expected and was always frustrated when that wasn't what I saw. I was considering seeking out typical FTM bottom surgery when I learned nullification surgery existed and immediately I knew that's what I wanted - combined with the easier recovery compared to typical bottom surgery it was a no brainer.

Regarding sex/masturbation. I never really enjoyed sex with my body, and masturbation was always a chore to me so I didn't want to keep the sensitive nerves, which would have resulted in frontal sex not being an option (prostate still exists OFC and I can bring pleasure to others)

I did wind up keeping the nerves (pressure from my mom, worried I'd regret removing them (I now regret keeping them but I've accepted it)) so there is a sensitive bump under my skin now, that can be stimulated with tapping, rubbing, ETC. - I think a vibrator would work well but I don't care enough to buy one.

With hormone changes I don't really get horny anymore (I intentionally managed my hormones to achieve this) and I haven't orgasmed while conscious once since my surgery. I tried a couple times out of curiosity but I didn't try that hard. I have had 2 wet dreams in the 6 months since which never used to happen, so that's weird. (With the hormone and surgical changes my prostate produced the equivalent to vaginal fluid, making me get wet enough to be noticable after these dreams)

[local-null-nb]

What are your philosophical thoughts?

I think complexity through autonomy is at least very close to a complete ethical system.

Like generally just "let everyone practice as much autonomy as possible without secrificing the autonomy of others" lends itself to both complex social/societal interaction, as well as generally good morals. It's what I would ask of an AI that takes over the world.

Also I think the universe is likely some kind of "simulation" though not running on any kind of computer we currently can conceive of. This is mostly because of how much of physics seems to minimize data processing - there being a max speed (speed of light) and minimum time step and distance (planks constants) and processing deferment (quantum mechanics) - basically our universe send to have limited(but extremely large) processing power. Ultimately though it doesn't matter, no matter the nature of the existence of the particles that compose us, their interactions are the same.

[local-null-nb]

Yeah, I mean I didn't consider myself ace at the time (I'm now questioning) but I knew I didn't want those nerves, and if I wanted sexual pleasure there were other options. Like I'm not averse to sex, and I like the idea of pleasuring others, but I don't feel any active desire and never enjoyed being horny and related. Like I'm dating someone Ace now and it's great!

Regarding getting wet, basically pre-ejaculate / vaginal fluid is produced by the corresponding organs and comes out of my urethra.

For context pre-ejaculate is distinct in composition from ejaculate, which is both chemically different and contains semen, and is produced by the analogous organs as produces vaginal fluid. It is my understanding that with my prior development and current hormones my body is producing something between typical pre-ejaculate and vaginal fluid, with the large amount of discharge being akin to female ejaculation AKA squirting. This is not universal similar to how it is not universal for women to experience this.

TBH I wish I wasn't experiencing this at all, but it's only happened like twice in 6 months, and one of those was right after I shaved for the photos I posted, which resulted in increased sensitivity.

i’m really intrigued, what led you down the path of surgery? and if you’re sexually active or masturbate, how does that work with no genitalia?

Well for as long as I remembered I never liked having any genitals at all, with any acknowledgement of them making me incredibly uncomfortable. Also just the sensation and reality of having a dangling sensitive body part that I can't control the movement of right between my legs just sucked.

I often fantasized about just being smooth between my legs, and that's what I subconsciously expected and was always frustrated when that wasn't what I saw. I was considering seeking out typical FTM bottom surgery when I learned nullification surgery existed and immediately I knew that's what I wanted - combined with the easier recovery compared to typical bottom surgery it was a no brainer.

Regarding sex/masturbation. I never really enjoyed sex with my body, and masturbation was always a chore to me so I didn't want to keep the sensitive nerves, which would have resulted in frontal sex not being an option (prostate still exists OFC and I can bring pleasure to others)

I did wind up keeping the nerves (pressure from my mom, worried I'd regret removing them (I now regret keeping them but I've accepted it)) so there is a sensitive bump under my skin now, that can be stimulated with tapping, rubbing, ETC. - I think a vibrator would work well but I don't care enough to buy one.

With hormone changes I don't really get horny anymore (I intentionally managed my hormones to achieve this) and I haven't orgasmed while conscious once since my surgery. I tried a couple times out of curiosity but I didn't try that hard. I have had 2 wet dreams in the 6 months since which never used to happen, so that's weird. (With the hormone and surgical changes my prostate produced the equivalent to vaginal fluid, making me get wet enough to be noticable after these dreams)

[local-null-nb]

i’m really intrigued, what led you down the path of surgery? and if you’re sexually active or masturbate, how does that work with no genitalia?

Well for as long as I remembered I never liked having any genitals at all, with any acknowledgement of them making me incredibly uncomfortable. Also just the sensation and reality of having a dangling sensitive body part that I can't control the movement of right between my legs just sucked.

I often fantasized about just being smooth between my legs, and that's what I subconsciously expected and was always frustrated when that wasn't what I saw. I was considering seeking out typical FTM bottom surgery when I learned nullification surgery existed and immediately I knew that's what I wanted - combined with the easier recovery compared to typical bottom surgery it was a no brainer.

Regarding sex/masturbation. I never really enjoyed sex with my body, and masturbation was always a chore to me so I didn't want to keep the sensitive nerves, which would have resulted in frontal sex not being an option (prostate still exists OFC and I can bring pleasure to others)

I did wind up keeping the nerves (pressure from my mom, worried I'd regret removing them (I now regret keeping them but I've accepted it)) so there is a sensitive bump under my skin now, that can be stimulated with tapping, rubbing, ETC. - I think a vibrator would work well but I don't care enough to buy one.

With hormone changes I don't really get horny anymore (I intentionally managed my hormones to achieve this) and I haven't orgasmed while conscious once since my surgery. I tried a couple times out of curiosity but I didn't try that hard. I have had 2 wet dreams in the 6 months since which never used to happen, so that's weird. (With the hormone and surgical changes my prostate produced the equivalent to vaginal fluid, making me get wet enough to be noticable after these dreams)

[local-null-nb]

I'm bored, send me asks about Nullification surgery or my philosophical thoughts.

[local-null-nb]

who was your surgeon? (if you dont mind me asking) the surgeon nearest me has been nicknamed "the butcher" by some trans people in his area and apparently his urologist is weird, and im hoping for some better suggestions (getting there would be an added ordeal but. ive been told its worth it)

Dr. Praful Rameneni! He's located in DC and from my research seemed like the best option in the east coast of the US.

One thing to remember is that in the days right after the surgery you're not supposed to go on a plane due to the pressure changes, if flying is your only option you'd have to stay in the area for about a week. Consult with your surgeon for the exact details.