#I don't think he's a bad person in fact he consistently tries very hard to do the right thing

[canisalbus]

To me, Machete kind of has the energy of a secondary villain/coldhearted side character in someone else's story that a lot of fans latch onto, moreso than the protagonist. Question is, would he be the villain in anyone's story?

Why, thank you! I'm actually glad to hear he gives off that vibe. I don't think he set out to become a villain but a lot of people certainly view him as one.

[trans-queen-administrator]

Taylor being paranoid about her passenger is such a fun character trait. Like none of her friends really seemed to give much of a shit when they learned about passengers from Bonesaw, but Taylor consistently notes the times her passenger acted without her consent, she tries to talk with it, communicate with it, just anything to learn what this thing that can control her without her say wants with her. One of my favorite little details is that during the timeskip this was the focus of a lot of her therapy sessions with Yamada, trying methods like hypnosis to communicate. I think part of it is that she's inherently just paranoid about the fact that this thing is helping her sometimes and she doesn't know why and she HAS to figure it out because no one would help out of the kindness of their heart, and another part is just that she can't bear to not be in control and this is something that threatens that in a very ominous way.

Another aspect of her paranoia towards her passenger is that she doesn't want to take blame for her own actions I think. During the Behemoth fight when her ally tried to shoot Phil Sē, she pulled the gun off target with silk and got him killed. She's the one who pulled the string, but because she's genuinely unsure if it was her being wary or her passenger setting up the string she settles on the second option because it absolves her of the possible blame or need to admit she's paranoid and ready to betray people in an instance. When Glenn shows her the video of her being the most terrifying fucker in existence she ignores how horrifying she is and fixated on how her passenger moved her, and then she doesn't have to think about the fact that she'd fit right into the ranks of the Slaughterhouse Nine because well, she can blame her passenger and focus on that instead. This applies to other people too, she sees Lung not using his power and thinks that maybe he's concerned about his passenger like she is. She projects hard onto Sophia in my opinion when she says that she got violent because of her passenger. If this person she doesn't like isn't to blame for everything she inflicted on Taylor, the surely Taylor can't be blamed for the violent steps she took to take over a city. It's another way she rationalizes everything to herself, if something is so bad that she can't justify it immediately there's always the excuse of "my passenger made me do it." But crucially, Taylor ends up being aware of the fact that she's doing this during Gold Morning.

And I think it's really good that this is something she grows and accepts about herself. It's wonderful growth for a character who's so often too stubborn to move herself forward. She's generally more in touch with her passenger during Gold Morning, like the time when she thinks that her and her passenger were in agreement in wanting to hurt Scion on the oil rig. No one else in Worm really seems to accept their passengers, Riley is questioning how much of herself has been subsumed by it, Eidolon is always annoyed it doesn't give what he wants, and most other people don't even know about them. But Taylor forms a bit of a symbiosis with hers after a long time rejecting it at every turn. I think this quote really sums up her feelings towards the end.

And by towards the end I mean like, at the very end, because immediately after this thought she becomes Khepri, and yet another fucking theme and character trait cumulates and reaches its peak with Speck. God damn what a good arc. The blur between Taylor and her passenger that she always feared is finally an actual thing consuming her, and she can finally communicate with her passenger as well. I do wonder what this is like on her passengers end. It's clearly down for the idea of killing its maker, and it's heavily implied that her passenger does care and doesn't want to actually leave Taylor as a husk (too lazy to get the quote because I've been typing for 45 minutes but Contessa remarks upon the administrator claiming everything about her until there's nothing left and she feels fear that she thinks is from both her and her passenger. 30.7 I think, near the end). But there's still so much about Taylor's passenger that's unknown. Was communication something it may have wanted when Taylor kept trying to communicate, but doing so required punching holes in the connection that would lead to more bleed through and functionally destroy its host? Did it slowly grow to care for Taylor more than the cycle, or was it always wanting to fight Scion? Did Taylor's autistic swag convince a multidimensional alien made of crystal to rebel? Is Queen Administrator trans? Idk how to end this post if it's not obvious, sorry.

[thatgirl4815]

Sand & Perspective

So Sand finally gets the attention this episode, and it's demonstrated a lot of things: namely, that as much as he has brushed it off, he is down bad for Ray. Like really bad. Honestly, he's down even worse than I thought.

A lot of this is evident in his narration, a device which has been used quite skillfully up to this point (I'm usually pretty wary of narration in shows, but I think it suits the general tone of OF and its large cast of characters). It's also exposed something I didn't think too much about before this episode--Sand and Ray's relationship has been consistently filtered through Ray's perspective. We've witnessed Sand's lingering looks and blushes, but with the exception of a few scenes, we've always been right alongside Ray.

"I gotta work for everything I want."

So what do we learn about Sand? He's a caretaker by nature--we knew that already--but we come to understand the root of this trait in his upbringing; he was forced to grow up fast as a result of being raised in a single-parent household. He's managed to get his mother out of her debts in the past. From this, and Sand's ability to earn money from multiple jobs, we can gather that Sand is both pragmatic and determined. Though his lifestyle seems lonely and monotonous, there's no indication that he necessarily feels that way about it; rather, he sees it as the "way things are."

Again, this seems to be the marker of a person who has grown up paving his own way, not expecting others to give him anything for free. (This also explains why he was so uncomfortable with Ray throwing money at him in Ep 4.)

I find Sand's dreams interesting as well. We know he idolizes musicians, but when Ray asks him if he wants to become a famous musician himself one day, he instead describes going to music festivals. To me, this indicates that Sand might not be interested in achieving his own stardom so much as he wants to be part of a collective. It's the thrill of enjoying music with others that attracts him, and I don't think it's any coincidence that we see him doing that very thing with Ray twice prior to this discussion (once at the record store in Ep4, and once at the concert in Ep5). It's illustrating how Ray plays a part in Sand's interests, bringing the two of them closer in the process.

"Ray's Extra Hour"

Sand falls hard and fast, and a large part of this can be attributed to his obligations as a caretaker. He's motivated to help others and offer support, because that's just who he is. Still, the fact that he's willing to carve out an extra hour in his day for Ray is very telling of just how deeply he feels for Ray already. It all brings me back to the first sign of feelings Sand demonstrates in Ep1:

Sand sees Ray as someone in need of help, and I suspect that role will only become more prominent as he continues to unveil just how broken Ray is by his past.

"I've always thought Ray is my 25th hour, my extra hour. But the truth is everyone has the same 24 hours in a day.

I see these lines as Sand coming back to reality. There is no actual "25th hour"; it's a piece of time he's invented to categorize the part of his life he's now devoted to Ray. Sand is pragmatic, but he's allowed himself to live in what he thinks is a fantasy; a fabrication.

"And within Ray's 24 hours, I'm not a part of it. I'm not that special."

As several others have pointed out, Sand's language here mirrors Ray's last episode. Sand wants to be cherished by Ray the way Ray wants to be cherished by Mew. Will we see Sand resort to his old routine, pushing Ray away the way he tried to once before? Will we witness Sand recommitting himself to his dream, narrowing in on his goals and isolating himself from Ray in the process (to protect his own feelings)? I predict we will see some of that, but Sand will ultimately run back to Ray at the first sign of distress. Because like or not, he cares about Ray, even if Ray doesn't put him first. His feelings won't just disappear overnight.

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

The Darkling

Okay so this guy is the main bad guy of the series. He made “the fold” this barren wasteland of darkness and monsters dividing the land, causing like hundreds of thousands of people to die. He killed his mom. He psychologically manipulated his girlfriend (like, he caused her to hallucinate and a whole bunch of other crazy stuff). He made one of his followers (a young girl) use her body to slowly poison the king over time. He started a cult. He did a LOT of crazy stuff. However, we do see his backstory of him as a kid, and learn that he did all this in the name of equality, so people would stop torturing and killing the ‘grisha’ or the witches/magic users. Later, he fakes his own death and starts a cult worshipping him and acts as the leader of the cult, going by his old name Aleksander. He is a very complicated character. So tell my why everyone thirsts after him and is like “he did nothing wrong” HELLO?! He is NOT your poor little meow meow he is complies please please don’t sanitize him.

Mikoto Kayano

Mikoto is really kind and friendly, he gives people nicknames, and he tries to talk to everyone. He cares about his little sister and his mom; he doesn't want to worry anyone and will hide when he's really stressed out and try to act like everything is fine. He just laughs and hopes everything will work out. He overworks himself and thinks that he needs to keep working, even after he's already pushing himself too hard. He doesn't remember killing anyone and he's in MILGRAM because of it and he got voted to not be forgiven in the first trial which is making his stress worse.

Mikoto's characterization within the fandom is either sexy man or baby who couod never hurt a fly. Despite that in his introductory voice drama he folds a fifteen year old for several minutes abd the fact that he's now in a mystical prisoner for definitely committing murder. Like the entire premise of the series is contingent upon everyone who is in it killing a person. Mikoto has dissociative identity disorder the fandom uses this to basically go normal Mikoto the one Milgram arrested (the prison that can look into people's minds by the way) is the good one. He hates violence and I'd just a silly little office worker but the other one I'd the literal devil. An evil man who likes violence and just hates people real antisocial. The fandom is so bad at understanding moral ambiguity and dissociative identity disorder that despite his songs being called MeMe, Double, a line in the second song being literally "Just the two of us" and one of the creators puting out a statement after the seconds songs release saying "I wonder what will happen to the two Mikoto's now"- A good majority of fans have convinced themselves there is a third very normal and chill alter (because they seperate them by emotional states like this is fucking inside out for some reason) who is just a guy and consistently state Mikoto will be bad representation if there are only two. It's to the point that a good deal of the fanbase are fans of this character and not actually Mikoto. Only using his actual character for ship fodder to fuel their switch fetish. I don't know if it's not understanding moral ambiguity, just not knowing how to fucking read, or hating a minority of people simply based on how a dissociative disorder presents in them which is apparently a bias that the dissociative identity disorder community has had for a long time i.e treating people more poorly based on alter count but whatever it is I believe it's enough to qualify him for this.

[sokkastyles]

Am I the only one who finds Azula stan’s insistency that the mental institution was abusive and that Zuko only visited her because she wanted something out of her? Not only are these claims poorly founded in the canon comics, they try to use it to accuse Zuko of letting Azula be abused and how bad of a person he is. Any thoughts?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO

They don't like that Azula is being held accountable for her actions, so they try to make her the victim. That's also why I don't believe them when they say they want redemption for her. Or at least, I don't think their conception of a redemption would actually be one.

DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender) is one of the main reasons it is extremely difficult for abusive people to change. Because if they can make facing the consequences for their actions into the "real" abuse, it means they don't have to do it. If Azula was abused in the institution, it provides a convenient explanation for why she hasn't gotten better. It's not that she has a problem, it's that other people need to be nicer to her!

This is also why I push back so hard against the idea that Zuko or even Iroh need to help her, especially when the "help" focuses on what they did wrong and how they didn't care enough about her feelings. It completely takes the responsibility off of Azula for the fact that she hurt them. And once abusers figure out they can do this, that cycle tends to continue if allowed. Which means that any help they provide to her can be twisted into another way that she's a victim, so that she can continue to abuse them.

And I say "them" because if Iroh were the version of the character some of Azula's stans seem to want, someone who feels endlessly guilty for his "crimes" against Azula, that would be abuse. Because his crimes are things like getting her a gift she didn't like, which she burned. Notice the DARVOing yet? Another crime was helping Zuko, which is used to justify her nearly killing him.

People love to pretend that Iroh is endlessly forgiving with Zuko and that it's a double standard that he isn't with Azula, but the fact that Iroh is NOT forgiving of abusive people is one of the main reasons he could help Zuko.

Can you imagine if Iroh was to the type of person to make excuses for Azula? For Ozai? That would not help Zuko, because one of the things that Zuko needed was to be told that it was okay to prioritize himself and to feel hurt. Iroh helped Zuko realize he was abused by telling him that the way his family treated him was not okay, and one of the ways he did that was by consistently trying to protect him from Azula, who tried to take him back to his abuser. Azula stans trying to twist that into a form of abuse of her, or evidence that Iroh has a personal vendetta against her is transparent abuse apologism.

I mention this because the thing about this kind of abusive behavior is that it's a pattern. Azula complaining about the indignity of being in the asylum, complaining about the food, acting like her brother is mistreating her by trying to make her comfortable and trying to include her in his search for their mother, these are all part of the pattern of DARVO. If Azula had better food, she would find something else to complain about. Not that we should believe Azula that there is anything wrong with the food in the institution to begin with. Azula fired a servant over a pit in her cherry, remember? "Oh, but that was during her breakdown." Okay, how about her very first scene when she is at her peak and threatened her men because they didn't want to sail straight into dangerous tides? This is something we see Azula do over and over again. I don't know why we're still acting like she's a reliable narrator.

[chinzhillaby]

at first, sound didn't want to be around gun and his friends because he thought they were taking advantage of him. then, he wanted to take advantage of them to feel like he was winning over tinn. but in the end, he understood that they were good people who didn't want to hurt him and they really appreciated his talent, he didn't want to use them either anymore, so bit by bit he has been able to open his heart to the chinzhilla boys.

the sound of ep 4 that didn't smile, now smiles at his 5 friends, he is able to laugh with them.

his character development can be seen if you compare the way he treats gun, initially, he did not care about gun’s feelings when he became the leader of the band, but now, he has accepted gun and he even told him about his wrist’s pain cuz he was worried that their performance would go wrong because of him.

his change can also be seen with the rest of the band members, win included, but they have handled it differently. his relationship since the beginning has consisted of fighting, it seems like their personalities don't match at all. but in episode 6, even though they fight, at this point they know they don't hate each other, and they try to support each other because they are in fact friends but it's hard for them to show it. win bugs sound at first cuz ever since he met him, he felt that sound was better than him and he finally felt that he beat him at something. but sound felt bad about it. when win came back that night to play badminton with sound, ofc it wasnt because of the wallet, he wanted to help him and it was his way of apologizing to sound. sound understood.

it is difficult for them to show concern at first because it may seem that they will look weak because of it, because they have only known how to fight, because they are afraid of being mocked.

in ep 8, win is upset at first because he feels that sound doesn't care about them. he tries to fight him but he feels that there is something off, sound doesnt fight back, sound is a picky person when it’s related to music but suddenly he isnt. win has a hunch.

he follows sound, and seeing that he has hidden his pain because he cares about them, fighting doesn't seems important anymore, he doesn't need a facade to show his concern anymore. win really worries about sound. he wants to support sound because he’s important to his band but deep down he can't deny that it is also because he's his friend.

after seeing that sound is better, win and sound can fight again, but for now they are just joking with each other. their “fights” are to joke with each other, it doesn't seem like they are to upset each other anymore.

i think that deep down both of them should feel that they can finally breathe, that they don't have to fight anymore, that they can be friends who behave the way they treat their other friends. i am not sure how their relationship will develop because it is still very recent, and they have fought since they met. but at least they are both aware that they are friends and they care about each other. if any of them feel sad, they will be willing to be together to support each other in their own way.

[aihoshiino]

hello!!! you have no idea how hard it is (for me at least haha) to find a blog that talks about ai even semi consistently let alone analyze her this closely so i enjoy ur blog very much! thank you for feeding my ai brainrot :D

anyways any thoughts on ai and hikaru’s relationship? or just speculation since theres not much on it rn? its pretty fascinating to me, they were both children who were abused and exploited as a whole (that and their own respective fucked up relationship and idea of sexual intimacy which might be one of the catalysts for them jumping to sex so quickly despite both (i think?) being aware of the consequences with them being relatively active in the entertainment industry and what not) so its not too hard to imagine them potentially bonding even if it never quite reached genuine love romantic or otherwise

HAPPY TO PROVIDE, ANON! <3 I fully admit that my ramblings are mostly for my own benefit because if I don't talk about Hoshino Ai at least twice a day I will turn into the Oshi no Joker but it's always so nice to hear folks are glad to be along for the ride.

Hikaru and Ai's relationship has always been really fascinating to me, though! It's kind of an interesting subversion on some of our and Aqua's ingrained assumptions about the kind of person the twins' father would be – there's this sort of implicit, unspoken understanding based on the way Aqua focuses primarily on men who were already adults when Ai got pregnant that Ai was victimized in some way which resulted in the twins. Finding out who Hikaru is and the fact that he and Ai were peers immediately casts all of Ai's decisions regarding him in a hugely different light and raises a lot of questions about things that we otherwise assumed went without saying.

That said, given that we know so little about both their relationship and Hikari himself as a person, it's kind of hard to make solid guesses! I sort of have a rough shape of what I imagine it was like in my head just based on Hikaru's emotional function in the story VS what we know about him specifically as a person – Hikaru is very clearly intended to be a sort of bad end/dark mirror of Aqua, so I like to think that his and Ai's relationship probably contained echoes of the two main Aqua romances we see play out in the present. I had like a huge and honestly kind of incomprehensible ramble here originally while I tried to define what I meant by that but then I realized the series itself already lays it out...

In Hikaru, Ai found someone she thought would finally understand and accept her.

In Ai, Hikaru saw light.

Ai is tied to stars and light constantly through the series while also being tied to Kana pretty strongly as well, so I think it makes sense for her to be the Kana/light equivalent in this relationship. Uh, of course, I think I have accidentally implied that this means Akane is paralleling Hikari, so let's move on................................

It's also interesting to take into account 45510 when trying to pick up some info about how this relationship went. The stream at the center of this story is dated just after Ai came back from her hiatus following the birth of the twins, so around when she was 16/17 years old -- closer to the latter and so likely two or three years after her relationship with Hikaru fell apart. With that in mind, Ai's words here feel kind of... I guess, accidentally revealing? In some interesting ways.

When asked to describe her ideal type for a lover, Ai says: ""I guess I'd like to be with someone who doesn't lose their cool with me when I mess things up, ‘cause that happens a lot! Someone who gets all worked up over every little thing would probably get tired of me pretty quick. It’d be unfair for them, so I'd rather be with someone who's not like that.""

And unprompted, she continues from there with this: ""Love is all about trust, isn't it? They call it... 'recipricity', I think? Like, if someone showed me they love me, I'd feel the same way about them. But, I'm a bit of a scaredy-cat. It's tough for me to really believe in words like 'love' and 'like.' I've never actually fallen in love with someone before, so I'm not even sure what it means, you know?""

This is FASCINATING knowing this is Ai on the other side of her relationship with Hikaru. We know that this is Ai's true feelings because even the 45510 narrator, who calls her a liar every time she so much as breathes, admits that she knows Ai is probably telling the truth here. If this is the case, then this basically confirms that however intense the HikaAi relationship was, she didn't feel as though she loved him, which matches with the snippets we've gotten from the DVD and the movie where Ai's parting/break up with Hikaru was centered on Ai admitting that she couldn't love him.

Of course, this doesn't necessarily mean that their bond wasn't genuine or that they didn't have real feelings for each other – I totally agree with your take that they probably gravitated towards each other as victims of abuse generally and CSA specifically and found a sort of comfort and solidarity in recognizing and licking each others' wounds. But obviously, things didn't work out and I think we have a lot of clues already what this fundamental misunderstanding was.

When Ai tells Hikaru "I can't love you" this is an apology, an admission of weakness and self-blame. What Ai is saying is I can't love you, because I'm broken and I can't love anyone.

What Hikaru likely hears is I can't love you because you're broken and nobody could.

That sense of rejection, combined with the trauma he already carried from his abuse would have been bad enough but that Ai got pregnant and broke up with him was likely hugely retraumatizing for him, ripping open the scars of his abuse at Airi Himekawa's hands. He may have even misconstrued Ai's actions as an act of abuse similar to Airi's and everything went spiralling from there.

I don't have any really solid shots to call, unfortunately! So much about Hikaru is up in the air right now, but I think he's a super interesting character and his and Ai's relationship is something I really, really want to eventually see more of.

[flare-dragon]

Ron's Gone Wrong: An Analysis

I recently rewatched (most of) Ron's Gone Wrong and remembered a few reviews I'd read of it, describing how its message seemed muddied and not very clear...which, ultimately, is true.

But, with that said, there's something I realise about it that it almost gets right (literally, all the way up to its second-last climax is so perfect, and even its ascent to its final climax is still consistent with this realisation). The realisation is that there's one thing it describes really well:

Artificial/Algorithmic "Friendship" vs Organic Relationships

It seems almost simple or obvious that this is the message the movie tried to portray, but the way that it ultimately ended tells me that they either missed the point they were making or someone else forced them to have a different ending (sadly, I think it's the former). I cannot call it a bad movie for missing that point (it's still one my most watched recent movies), but it makes me wonder what it could've been had it brought this point home.

So, without waffling on for too much longer, here's a quick analysis on how it goes about this message, and why it's a good message that doesn't inherently contradict the pervasiveness of social media (even if it also didn't do much about that point)

Barney vs Friendship

The beginning of the movie shows us a "revolutionary invention", designed for making friends: The Bubble Bot (B-Bot for short). From the get-go, we're given a presentation of what the modern friend-making dynamic intends to be: Interact with interests and media, share them online, and the algorithm uses that to help connect with others who shares those interests and enjoyment of media. It's an intentional reflection of modern social media, albeit a somewhat simplified version.

It quickly shifts to a large number of kids connecting to their B-Bots for the first time in a short montage, cut at the end with a hand touching a similarly-coloured door. An assumedly unintentional, but well-placed, contrast and summary of the story. Here we meet Barney.

Without rehashing too much of the beginning of the movie, we learn that everyone else at his school (supposedly?) has a B-Bot and he's the only one without it. Similarly, he doesn't have any friends he talks to during school (or outside of it apart from family). He himself states that he "kinda, actually" needs a B-Bot to make friends these days. One could call this a simple set up to the idea of "You won't make real friends using computers" by starting us off with a B-Bot-less Barney...if it weren't for the fact that he gets one the next day.

This is when we really start to see what I mean by "Barney vs Friendship": His attitude towards what his new B-Bot should be is pretty consistent with how everyone else has been using them: "You are meant to be my friend, and know everything about me." It's hammered in later on during the friendship montage, with Barney making a board on "How to be my friend" (underline by me).

Barney's perception of friendship, then, is revealed as "You are my friend. You are on my side. You like the things I like." A very selfish and self-centred perception. This might seem to set up Barney to be a selfish person...but isn't that how the algorithm is supposed to work? Finding people with the same interesting ("the things I like") and rejecting those who don't share it (which we see at the school, two B-Bots rejecting each other, and thus the two kids, Savannah and Ava, simply walk away from each other). It isn't Barney's fault his understanding of friendship is like this. He's been inundated and surrounded by it.

Barney vs Ron

Up to this point (after the school "riot"), we see Ron as trying so hard to be Barney's friend, to the point of taking Savannah's words to heart and going outside to find people to be friends with Barney (since Ron wants to not be pointless and is connected to Barney). It isn't until now that Ron asks the question: "Barney, are you my friend?"

Barney's response is typical and expected: "What do you mean? My dad bought you for me." After all, Ron is just a robot, right? It does make the idea of the message "Artificial Friendship vs Organic Relationship" difficult to apply since Barney literally doesn't see Ron as a person. He's just a self-moving machine designed to be a friend.

But, interestingly enough, that makes Ron a perfect vehicle for the message. A machine that was intended to just follow the algorithm, instead forced to (and willing to) create their own way through life by whatever limited tools it has access to. Even in the moments Barney sees Ron as just a machine, he's also treated him as an important person in his life.

When they meet up again in Barney's shed, it all finally shifts into what it always should've been: A two-way street. They'd already spent so much time bonding, regardless of the way they'd perceived each other before then (Barney seeing Ron as just a friend machine, Ron seeing Barney as the one person he needed to be a friend to), that the change to actually being a friend to each other and allowing each other's individuality to shine but never be the only priority allows them both to be better friends, differences and all.

To contrast, we also follow in pieces the journeys of Savannah, Rich, Noah, and Ava's own experiences with their functioning-as-intended B-Bots. We see Savannah and Ava miss an opportunity to be friends (and Ava's loneliness from very few B-Bot owners showing an interest in science). We see Noah's constant struggle to be at the top of the leaderboard. We see Rich attention-starved and making as much "content" as he can just to get some. Instead of exploring the possibilities of relationships with people who may not share the same interests, they're steadfast focused on what they're used to, never really getting a chance to evolve it into something more joyful (more on that later)

Barney & Ron vs The World

...a dramatic subtitle, but this is when the two of them run off, away from Bubble's attempt to capture Ron to stem the damage they've seen from him. Barney still doesn't have any friends aside from Ron, and Ron doesn't have any friends aside from Barney. Barney refuses to lose his one and only friend, so they run off, separated from the rest of the world, and just...enjoy each other's company.

In the montage and subsequent scenes, we see more bonding from both of them. Ron is still trying to be a good friend, but Barney gives him a chance to say things for himself and to do things for himself, even if Barney doesn't like it. Even when they argue later from the stress of living outdoors in the woods, they stick together and try to keep warm.

There's not a lot to say about these scenes, except that we see a very stark differences from when they'd first met. It's almost as if this is where we get to see how far they've come as friends. We've seen the relationship grow over time, shifting from seeing each other as a particular purpose into treating each other as individuals. A shift that would've been impossible if Ron simply followed the same algorithm the others did.

Would Barney have found friends if Ron functioned as intended? Would Ron have shown the personality he does if he had ever been connected to the Bubble Network? Would there have ever been a discussion on how to actually make friends? It isn't until later that we find a likely answer to all of these: No. Barney would have fallen into the same trap every other B-Bot user did: A constant hunger for validation that only resulted in disconnection and loneliness.

It al comes to a head when they both find themselves in danger from being caught by Bubble (by remote-controlled B-Bots being controlled without user consent or knowledge. Makes one wonder~). Barney does everything he can to hide and protect Ron (which only succeeds due to Andrew's complete disregard to human life), even risk death from asthma. Ron then does everything he can to ensure Barney doesn't die in the woods, even if it meant being taken away and destroyed.

It's a beautiful relationship, given a chance due to them having to discover who each other were over time and in an organic matter. Ron had to learn Barney's interests manually and even began to observe new things about him over time. Barney shifted the way he looked at Ron to seeing him as his own person, and spent the time to learn his own likes and desires.

Barney vs "Ron's Gone Wrong"

I figure it's also important to include where - in my opinion - the movie loses the message and the storytellers mess up. In the last segment of the movie, we have Ron having been connected to the Bubble Network and losing everything that made him unique, each interaction with Barney being a shallow facsimile of what made Barney become best friends with him (right down to Ron's individuality being erased).

I'm sure there was a way to make this work, but it instead has Barney try to rescue Ron's personality (a backup Marc created somehow) and then, after getting it back, Ron sharing his personality with every other B-Bot (due to seeing how the original algorithm just lead to sad kids disconnected from each other) at the cost of his own life (although that's technically ambiguous, especially with the ending).

I'm...not sure what the intent is, but it misses something big. What made Ron special to Barney was not simply that he existed outside of the mould that every other B-Bot was forced to fit into. It was that Barney got to know him and his eccentricities, and Ron got to grow and evolve alongside Barney. They both grew organically alongside each other, and demonstrated the need for a more natural approach to friendship making compared to the rigidity of the algorithmic connections that occurred through the B-Bots (and not questioning this algorithm or given much chance to examine the issues).

By simply sharing Ron's personality to every other B-Bot, it only really achieves one thing right in relation to the message: It forces each person to operate on their B-Bots level and develop their own connection to their now-chaotic buddy (I suppose not focusing on "online vs offline" as far as friendships go was also a good point for it, as it didn't really feel like a strong enough point for the movie and there's better ways to go about such a message.)

Had there been a greater focus on how it was that Barney's friendship had developed - or at least some kind of portrayal that the updated B-Bots weren't just copies of Ron but had actually become wide and varied individuals for their owners(?) to get to know - the ending might've been able to work better. Ron's sacrifice was a tragedy, but it displayed Ron's sheer selflessness and self-developed kindness and generosity.

If there's one scene that at least supports the message of "Artificial/Algorithmic Friendship vs Organic Relationships", it's the moment Barney sees how unhappy his former-now-again friends as they stare at their B-Bots screens and try to make some semblance of happiness, however shallow it is. Having a contrast of their artificially-built connection compared to Barney and Ron's hard-earnt friendship felt like a good way to help demonstrate the point. I just wish it could've lead to a more satisfying ending.

Barney and Friends

This is just a short little bit, but I wanted to at least point out one other good thing that happens in the last segment and ending. Barney may have started out friendless, but his friendship with Ron and Ron's selfless sacrifice (to get him medical attention) allowed Barney to reconnect with his former friends. It was a moment of realisation for Savannah, Ava, Noah, and Rich: After all this time, they let their friendship decay and be lost.

Seeing them, then, be together and hanging out alongside Barney? It showed another element of an organic relationship: Organic connections. Algorithms can give you other connection points, but it may leave you limited to other perspectives too similar to your own. Organic connections, though, force you to figure out if this thing that you never really thought about before is something you like or not, and if this person's appreciation and interest in it is something you like. It's one of those things that can just grow on its own and become something beautiful.

Just to note: I do not believe online friendships are worse than offline relationships, nor more shallow. Rather, it's algorithmic friendships that fall flat. The power of the internet is that it lets you get in touch with so many people you normally wouldn't have the chance to. Leaving it entirely in the hands of an algorithm (and not thinking critically about it) has you miss out on the beauty of the mish-mash nature of the internet. It's why Tumblr's such a fun place to be~ ^^

Conclusion

So yeah. The thing that always disappointed me most about the movie isn't that it didn't stick the landing. It's that it has such a beautiful message and the story it tells is so heart-warming and charming, but the message isn't carried to the end so you wonder if it was ever intended (I believe it was, but it's hard to say).

Seeing the way Barney and Ron's friendship evolves - and the way they each grow as individuals - contrasted with everyone else using B-Bots as they were originally designed/programmed makes for a pretty compelling portrayal of the differences between a friendship formed and informed by entirely through an algorithm, and a relationship that grew from organic interactions that, even when influenced by expectations from and of each other, created something much more different and complex and much more fulfilling for the two of them.

It's a beautiful friendship, and it's still worth watching to the end~

Bonus

It's more a funny coincidence I noticed, but the way that Andrew kicks Marc out when Ron loses his individuality, and then how Andrew was removed and Marc taking charge again when Ron's personality was distributed to every other B-Bot? Almost feels like its own reference to that message (Algorithmic Friendships may be ubiquitous and everywhere, but ultimately Organic Relationships will last the test of time)

A funny comparison honestly~

[sk-lumen]

Hi I’m really going through it so would appreciate your advise/input💕 was basically in a talking stage/situationship for long time long distance. It was so draining for me because he kept continually hurting me but always flipping things on me trying to make it my fault when In reality it was always his fault and doing...he would be very attentive to me, consistent with communication and very nice to me with his words but his behavior told me otherwise...it was like a mind fuck. So now that it’s over, I am depressed and been like this for months. I keep up with self care, eat clean and workout but still feel SO. SAD. I have tried to go on dating apps again and gone on a few dates which went well except for the fact on one of them I was drinking and started crying so hard and talking about the guy to the guy I was on a date with and honestly just feel numb and have cried a lot over it over all these months . I know some girls just go on a hookup spree or just find a rebound but that’s not me and I’ve tired after months and not happy even still with the guy I was going on dates with that treats me well....Do you have any input?

Hi flower,

This is a textbook toxic relationship. Inconsistent behavior, love bombing, hot and cold, actions don't align with words, the list goes on. Another big reason such relationships are so damaging is because they mess up your brain chemistry. You literally become chemically addicted to the rollercoaster of it, and are not actually thinking clearly. When it's bad, the adrenaline and stress hormones flood you, but when it gets good again, the relief and happy chemicals flood your brain and you're addicted to getting that next fix. It's a constant loop. That's also why no contact is important, to break the loop.

That being said, it's normal that you're in shambles right now. Your nervous system is dysregulated. Your mind and body is a mess, your confidence is affected, and it's okay.

In my opinion, you should absolutely not be dating right now. You're in no mental or physical state to date around. You're not in a balanced, secure state, and as such you'll inevitably make decisions coming from vulnerability, from survival mode, from a desperate need-based mindset, and a dysregulated nervous system which is just looking for relief anywhere it gets. It's grounds to get exploited by the wrong people and a whole load of other messy situations that do not benefit you.

Sit yourself down and just focus on yourself. Breathe. Meditate. Journal and pray. Go to the gym, go for a run. Remember the things that bring you joy and peace, and focus on them. Slowly, you'll return back to yourself. And when your nervous sytem feels calm again, and you're paying attention to the glimmers around you, life feels lighter and you breathe in ease again, then, you might be ready to date again.

PS: For all the ladies out there, please listen to me when I say situationships are a scam. Unless you're the kind of person who can stay 100% detached with multiple partners for a long term, stay far away as possible from them. Men reap all the benefits, meanwhile you reap none (or a very shallow, temporary one) yet take all the risks. You're doing yourself a disservice and it's only in the detriment of your mental & emotional wellbeing, not to mention spiritual. All those people you give access to your energy and viceversa.... so if you play around with a lot of lazy, directionless, depressed people, you're literally absorbing all that energy into your own.

Be more discerning and selective, your feminine energy is so incredibly powerful and sacred, and should be treated as such.

Much love,

-L.

[petewentzssilkpress]

Episode 39 of Find Us Alive just curbstomped me. Nah. Nah. Nah. Nahhh. No. This podcast is TOO good. I'm legitimately dumbstruck by how fucking good every aspect of this shit is.

I MUST start off by saying that Raddagher's scream will haunt me for the rest of my life. I don't know if it's just my love for this podcast or the talent of the creators but I tend to get very immersed in it and I could legitimately feel the desperation and despair and agony and fear and everything that everyone was feeling this episode. In particular I have not been able to get the image of Raddagher closing herself off and silently losing her mind over Love ever since the beginning of the aneurysm storyline. Whatever Harley talked about how she was acting and how difficult it was to communicate, I kept thinking the main reason that she doesn't say anything is because if she opens her mouth she's going to scream. And she fucking did. That was the scream of a grieving woman. It wasn't even fear or anything, it was a sound from a woman who's physically been cut open and had something ripped out of their body and I really feel like Ingrid thinks she's lost her already. Maybe I'm stupid and naive but I just refuse to believe that she's gone and I will not give up on the hope of her waking up because I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't.

And Lancaster? Every time I think about Orion I just get so sad! Not only thinking about what he's going through but thinking about how him being contained is affecting everyone else. From the fact that Harley lost his best friend to the fact that Beatrix tried to do everything she could to prevent them experimenting on him even if that meant he would have to say locked up for longer to the way Ingrid cried over him keeping secrets even before they knew he was a dash three.....

He misses his friends and he wants to make things right but they won't even give him a chance to see them!!! And now this whole thing with Love.... not only does he not know what's going on and he hasn't even gotten a chance to see her, but he doesn't even have anybody to support him in his worry over her. Even though Harley, klein, and Raddagher barely spoke to each other, the fact of the matter is they still had the option to do so but they were just avoiding each other. Lancaster never had a choice but to stay by himself. And all he wants is so desperately to see his friend because it might just be the last time!+ Even though she can't talk to him even though she's not even conscious he just wants to see his friend he's just so tired of it all and I want to cry because he really doesn't deserve this idc if he tried to kill Harley that was a different guy!!!!!!! It was an accident that wasn't him!!!!!

And Kline my beautiful wife, trying so hard to keep it all together... as bad as it is I kind of understand why she was so reluctant to see Love because who wants to see their best friend like that? like let's be real. Her apprehension was totally understandable but at the same time I wish we had gotten to see all of them in one room just for this. Still, I kind of like the fact that they didn't have that big group get together and the whole gang wasn't in one place because it's kind of more realistic that way... not to mention it's really consistent with Kline's characterization cuz she's a very avoidant type of person.

In conclusion @raddagher You Are Literally Killing Me.

[coraniaid]

Arguing with strangers on the internet about whether or not fictional characters are "good people" -- especially supporting characters in network television, whose actions often vary wildly from episode to episode depending on the needs of the plot -- seems like an incredibly unwise and unfun use of a finite lifespan.

That being said, every time I stumble into a post positioning Giles as the Good Parent and Joyce as the Bad Parent I end up wanting to break something. Especially when people suggest that this is also how Buffy herself relates to them. Because that is simply not what the show depicts and it is hard not to be uncharitable about why you might claim otherwise.

Yes, without question Joyce is shown to do some genuinely terrible things as a parent (largely because the writers don't care enough about her as a character to write her consistently from episode to episode). The more seriously you treat the metaphorical reading of Buffy 'coming out' as a Slayer to her mother in Becoming -- and I think it's a reading that's very much intended, given the language used -- the worse Joyce's response is. And the retcon in Normal Again that Joyce had Buffy institutionalized and then, well, just forgot about doing it, is obviously horrific. (Crucially, though, it's also pretty much impossible to reconcile with how Buffy's relationship with her mother is portrayed in the first five seasons of the show. It's not evidence that Joyce is "actually" a bad parent: it's just laughably bad writing and the only sensible option is to ignore the retcon entirely.)

Yes, Joyce reacts badly to Buffy being a Slayer while Giles doesn't. That's because Giles has known about vampires and slayers being real for decades before he meets her, while Joyce found out about all that stuff earlier that evening. It's not because Giles is somehow naturally a good and accepting person while Joyce isn't.

(Within the reality of the show, it is entirely understandable that Joyce is angry at Giles for signing her daughter up to be his footsolider in a supernatural war that he knows will end in her early death. It is entirely understandable that she blames Giles for sending her daughter out alone every night to fight vampires and demons while -- at his urging -- lying to her mother about what she's up to. Not only might Buffy have died alone in some underground vampire nest without her mother ever knowing about it, she actually did die, and Giles never even thought of telling Joyce. Do you really think the woman who faced down Spike with an axe and no powers in School Hard -- "you get the hell away from my daughter" -- is just going to be okay with this?

It's fun to point out that Joyce's claim to have "tried to march in the Slayer Pride parade" in Season 3's Faith, Hope & Trick is a little disingenous, and it's true: Joyce does eventually come to terms with Buffy being a Slayer, but she's definitely not there yet. But her talk about "hating" the fact that Buffy is a Slayer in that episode comes when Buffy has just admitted that she was killed fighting the Master and -- thanks in part to Giles -- she never told her mother. It is not at all surprising that Joyce is upset by this!)

Yes, Giles gives Buffy various comforting pep talks throughout the show and obviously cares about her a lot, even being willing to risk his life and lie to the police to protect her. Guess what: Joyce does all this too, consistently, even not knowing why Buffy is acting the way she does. (And, again, as a fictional character Joyce's primary purpose on the show is to be Buffy's well-meaning but slightly clueless parent. The fact she doesn't notice the signs that Buffy is sneaking out to fight vampires every night doesn't make her an idiot, it is just part of the fundamental conceit of the early seasons of the show.)

Yes, Joyce almost gets Buffy killed in Season 3's Gingerbread. That's because she's being possessed by a literal demon (compare and contrast with what Buffy herself almost does to Dawn three years later in Season 6's Normal Again). What's Giles excuse for drugging Buffy, robbing her of her powers, lying to her about it and almost getting her killed the very next episode of Season 3? Oh, his employer told him to do it? He was just following orders? Cool. Excellent A+ parenting there.

("But he confessed to her at the last minute! When he thought the test was no longer valid and he wouldn't suffer any consequences for talking about it!" Well, sure. I guess the father of the year award is a shoe-in then.)

Yes, Joyce is excited for Buffy to have gotten into Northwestern and thinks she should try to go there after high school, but … oh, wait, despite the fact Joyce's detractors on this site repeatedly bring this up as some kind of criticism, it is actually not a bad thing at all. Joyce's reaction to the news that Buffy was accepted into Northwestern -- "that's wonderful" -- literally mirrors Giles's later in the episode; and Buffy herself tries to arrange things so that she can go to Northwestern after the Mayor is defeated (Buffy herself applied for Northwestern, after all!).

Buffy wants to have as much of a normal life as she can and not just be the Slayer. This is a very central part of her character. She wants to do well in school: this is the whole reason she befriends Willow in the first episode of the show. It is frankly ridiculous how often people suggest that Joyce wanting the same things for her daughter is actually a point against her. (It is meant to be sad that Buffy can't take part in ordinary school activities, that she struggles in class because of the Slaying, that she ultimately can't manage to go to Northwestern, that she has to drop out of college altogether later, and that she can't get a more fulfilling day job. We are supposed to want better for her. )

Like, obviously the writers care a lot more about Giles than they do Joyce, and obviously they expect us to care about him more too. We know much more about his back story and how he spends his free time, we get to see multiple recurring characters from his past, we're encouraged to care about his romantic relationships. The writers can't even be bothered to keep track of what Joyce's sister is called, let alone show us where she works or let her have any friends who live beyond one episode.

And yes, sure, Giles is a more interesting character. He appears in twice as many episodes and has more than four times as much speaking time, so it would be a little weird if he wasn't! But it is simply not true that Buffy cares about Giles more than Joyce. Nothing she ever says or does suggests it. The highest Giles ever rises in her esteem is when she tells him in Season 6 that having him around is "a little like having Mom back". And then he abandons her.

Ultimately, though, I think you have to approach Joyce Summers the way you should approach Buffy's friends. Yes, they do some terrible things (Joyce telling Buffy she won't be welcome back home if she leaves to fight Angelus; more or less everything that happens in Dead Man's Party; Giles's actions in Helpless; Willow and Tara living in her home rent free while telling her she needs to get a job to pay the bills; Xander ... well, being Xander; all her friends and her own sister collaborating in kicking Buffy out of her own house).

The thing is that you either have to believe that these are to some extent unusual or out-of-character actions -- that the show doesn't always do a good job of depicting conflict between friends and loved ones and is sometimes just poorly written -- but that nonetheless these people all genuinely like and respect Buffy and want her to be happy. Or, alternatively, you end up arguing that Buffy Summers is an idiot who doesn't have any real friends and wastes her affections on people who don't even care about her.

And I have too much respect for Buffy to think that about her.

(Even if she is a fictional character I've just wasted time arguing about on the internet.)

[everythingiguess]

hi rée, i was curious, what is your opinion on wandee goodday? (no pressure tho) have a lovely day :D

Hi, so sorry for the late reply! No worries. Thank you so much for asking and for the lovely wishes, I hope you’re having a wonderful day too. Honestly, I've been very busy, and I hadn't found the time to talk about this, so this is the perfect opportunity.

I really don't know where to start, the show is over so I will try to talk about it as a whole, nothing too specific.

Personally, I enjoyed the show a lot, although I must admit that there was a moment when I noticed that the story wasn't going where I wanted it to, so I had mixed feelings for a couple of weeks. But I got over it pretty quickly.

Before I talk about what I liked and didn't like, I want to say that I'm a person who takes things as they come; I start watching shows with expectations and ideas about how I'd like them to handle the story, but if it doesn't go my way, I easily change the way I'm watching something and try to understand why. A little bit of it has to do with the fact that I'm a believer that writers have the right to tell their stories the way they want to, as long as there is nothing disrespectful or discrimination going on being shown as something good.

With Wandee Goodday I understand that many felt frustrated for different reasons, which is completely valid and understandable. I will never judge people for liking or disliking something. At the end of the day, we’re all different.

So, what I liked:

The characters and their essences. I think the show was consistent in terms of the characters, their personalities, and behaviors. At no point did I think “this is a little out of character”, and I really liked that. And I have to talk about the chemistry! Especially between the leads; I think that was my favorite thing. It was all very natural, and I believed it a hundred percent.

I also really liked that they included characters from our LGBT+ community dealing with different situations and in different contexts. And I thought the information they were giving (like vaccines to prevent STDs and having safe sex, or the importance of dealing with mental health) felt natural too, not like a commercial. I think it's important to mention this, because it's definitely something you talk about with your partner and even with friends, and it should be treated naturally.

I have to say that I might be biased because I related to the characters a lot. I have a lot of Wandee's personality traits myself and some of Yoryak's. Both the good and the not so good, so it wasn't hard for me to understand them.

Now, what I didn't like:

There really aren't too many things I didn't like. I think the main thing was Dr. Ter's conclusion, it seems to me that the issue should have been handled differently. And I didn't like that he ended up paired with Taem. Maybe it wouldn't have bothered me so much if those scenes where he pressured Dr. Wandee or tried to kiss him didn’t exist, if that was the case my opinion would be different because it would mean that Dr. Ter had problems to deal with related to the way he connected with other people, but they took the character to a place that deserved a different ending, in my opinion, he should’ve faced the consequences of his bad actions.

I also think that Yak and Oyei's issue with their father could have had a little more depth, to understand it better. Maybe if they had introduced that situation episodes earlier, it would have been better.

And well, I would have liked to see more of Wandee and Yoryak in a fully committed relationship, but when I think about it I don't think there's that much of a difference in how they already treated each other, so that’s nice.

In general, I tried not to judge Wandee and Yoryak's relationship because I know a lot of people who have been or are in fwb relationships, and they all seem to handle it in differently, and I haven't had that particular experience, so I can't contribute much to it.

I would like to say that in the beginning, I thought the show was going to be way more on the silly and light side of things, so it was a surprise that they included a little more serious stuff. But in the end, I think I saw the whole show lean more toward the comedic side, with a lot of funny situations that even I might find embarrassing, but since the show had already set the mood, then I just enjoyed it. I'm also used to watching shows with very serious genres, so bls and gls for me are just to have a good time and I try not to get too worked up about it (although I still very much look forward to these genres to expand and have higher quality in all aspects, that would be so so nice).

Also, I don't know if it has anything to do with it, but I think it could have had a better development if it had had more episodes and more production time. I think the series was already more than halfway through airing and they were still not finished filming, so that might have affected the final product and its quality in terms of the script.

And well, just to finish, I just want to say that I truly enjoyed it and that the performances were very good. I look forward the most to Inn and Great's next project; they have huge potential and I think they could explore different genres within BL precisely because they seem to be very versatile and professional actors.

Sorry this got longer than I expected, and I feel like I didn't say as much and probably forgot a lot of things. But if you want to know my opinion on something specific, feel free to ask. It will be my pleasure to answer, and I would also love to read your opinion on the show, it doesn’t matter if it is positive or negative :)

[pimenita]

@nyehilismwriting​

It's been ages since I reviewed anything, so apologies if this comes off a bit rusty n_n"

Copious amounts of rambling (and spoilers) under the cut:

First I will talk a bit about my operative (and his choices) since I think that's a good starting point: Crux is a cis guy, he's bi, passionate, hard-headed, and a smart-ass. He's basically a space cowboy, just your stereotypical sci-fi hero (the two types of sci-fi hero: emotionally constipated mr. man, or wise guy himbo)

Chapter 1:

On that first mission, he did as much property damage while quipping as he could, and it pissed Nash off. Crux was defensive about it.

He backed Nash up in front of the Director. He dearly misses the friendship they had. He also wants to kiss them so bad.

The Bar. Rohan is a guy in my playthrough. I chose not to be touch-averse (in fact, Crux would be on the opposite side of that scale; he's the sort to get very physical very fast)

Tacky, but I'm into it, should be tattooed on his forearm tbh in mine too. Was all over Rohan from second one since he tends to not think things through most of the time, but after getting scolded by Nash and the Director, he was feeling downhearted. Toxic coping mechanisms ftw!

(As a side note, I love that you give us the option for casual sex to be something our operative doesn't indulge in, indulges in consistently, or indulges consistently just not with Rohan n_n Even if it doesn't come up again, it's a small piece of character lore that makes the operative feel more relatable, more mine)

Sex scene <3 Look at my Crux being bossy and Rohan being into it (I think?) Also, WET/HARD? Don't mind me stealing that for my next project ;)

The removal of IVI is *chef's kiss* The utter helplessness; we can't do anything to stop it and it's terrifying. Probably my favorite scene so far.

Once Crux could stand on his feet, the first thing he did was unholster his gun and go looking for Rohan. That Dancer#3 was so fucking dead.

He finds Joia and tries to make himself look non threatening—as non threatening as a guy carrying a gun, with blood running down his torso, and half high on anesthetics can look—before gently persuading her to come with him.

His first interaction with Rhaxa was to yell at Leanna to shoot it and skedaddle. His second meeting with Rohan had him trying to choke him to death. So, an all around great first impression on the crew xD

Chaper 2:

Nash asks about his history with Rohan, and Crux would rather eat glass than speak about it with the person he's crushing on.

He tells Nash he's going to kill Rohan (as if) and lets them talk him out of it for now. Crux does try his best to play nice in front of Joia, not even looking at Rohan.

Crux doesn't trust Rhaxa at all, and isn't afraid to speak his mind. He's also more sarcastic than usual when discussing Leanna's plan, but I get it; the poor guy just had his friend removed from his skull and is still trying to get a smidge of control.

He decides to go with Leanna, but before that, he realizes he still wants to screw Rohan's brains out. 'It's complicated' doesn't cover even half of his feelings. I do wonder if Rohan feels the same odd pull. Maybe they just happen to have amazing sexual chemistry together.

Flirted with Leanna and found out she isn't into guys.

I love the operative's relationship with Joia. I just want to keep her safe.

Chapter 3:

Tense chat with Rohan and Nash. I really liked this one.

I like that Leanna calls out Crux for being an ass. I'm not sure what her lingering looks mean tho.

Another tense chat with Rohan. I love that he brings up Nash and says that this could've happened to them, and the operative is like, "Do NOT talk about them." Yes, keep their name off his mouth. Love love love.

Rohan's slip of the tongue. He truly thinks Crux is an absolute dimwit, doesn't he? He keeps forgetting the guy is like a super soldier or something. Good >:)

The "It was... cruel," and the "Yeah, it was," made my heart twist. I love it so much.

Of course Crux sent a signal to the Project, and the entire scene with him pushing the barrel of his gun against Rohan's chest to make him back off kicked so much ass. The operative is so cool.

Of course he tried to kiss Rohan an instant later, and Rohan turned him down. We still have the option to tell him, "fuck you" which I'm so happy about (and his reply made me grin) Their relationship is so complex, I really can't get enough of it.

Chapter 4:

Captain Lance is an asshole xD The dick measuring contest between him and my Crux was so fun to read.

Nash saying, "How threatened are you?" was amazing.

Aw Crux, you aren't jealous, are you?

He lied to the Director to spare Rohan.

As I commented on that ask the other day, Crux is so lucky he decided not to trust these guys. He can be so naive sometimes.

The fight in tight quarters kicks ass too. Nash and Crux are a great team.

Crux knocked MacCready out instead of killing him.

dyiNG

My operative went to find the others instead of looking for IVI. And Joia's reaction when she saw him again. Ah, my heart. Also, Leanna calling Crux 'doll', is yes.

I knew trying to pry IVI from Rohan's hands would be useless, so I let him keep her for now.

It is.

It's a horrible feeling, isn't it?

Rohan jumped on the soldier's back, hah! Amazing.

Crux's so cool, I genuinely love him.

General thoughs:

I've noticed itchio games tend to be more booky than interactive-fictiony, but I will comment on a few things just in case you find something I say interesting. OC these are just my thoughts, not trying to impose, or tell anyone how to write their games.

I think there's a bit too many pages before we are introduced to the first choice. Your writing is engaging tho so, personally, I don't think the lack of player input at this point is too bad. You did grab my attention and kept me reading after all.

I'm not sure why our operative doesn't just punch Rohan in the face and takes IVI back. I understand that for plot reasons he has to keep her on him, but on a story level, it doesn't make a lot of sense. I mean, the bag is right there, just punch the twink. Maybe if we had the chance to corner him or something and demand he gives us IVI back, snatching the bag and turning it over only for Rohan to be like, "You don't really think I would be walking around with it on me, do you? You can't be that obtuse." So now the operative knows trying to kill Rohan would result in probably never finding IVI again.

The chat with Leanna in chapter 3 would tie everything together too.

So, back when CH3 was the newest chapter, I was able to kiss Rohan. My question is, was that a bug? Did you change it on this chapter? Does he still kiss the operative in another route? The way he reacts points to Rohan wanting to jump my guy's bones, but he's still holding back, and as long as I see interest I'm going to keep pursuing him. I'm a simp like that.

I don't understand why the operative tells the director about Rohan? I thought lying to her would mean also lying about his name and appearance, just in case Lance sent her the IDs of the people on the ship, you know?

My canon route is calling the project instead of Rohan's contacts, but I did take a look at the other route. I think my favorite part is being able to discuss our families with Nash since I had already headcanoned the only family Crux has left is a drunk father he despises. I wonder if we'll have the chance of having this chat in the future if we don't contact Rohan's people?

There's a part where Rhaxa turns violent and we try to calm them down by putting a hand on their shoulder, which reminded me of that ask someone sent you wondering if they could be less responsive towards Joia. I had a hard time picturing Crux touching an angry alien—if anything, he would have scooped Joia and kept as far away from the sharp hissing creature as he could.

I think having a bit more say in the way the operative reacts to their companions would add to the story, however I recognize this is a work in progress and you can always add stuff later on, so I'm not all that worried about it.

(I also recognize I've been thoroughly spoiled by HG and how interactivefictionity it is. You might stick to a more book-like approach and there's nothing wrong with that. Different strokes for different folks)

Anyway, this game is super solid and I'm excited to see what happens next :3

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

Hello, so this not a request per se; but seeing your reaction to the latest archon story quest, I was curious, but which nation do you think has the best story arc so far? Sumeru or Fontaine? what you like the most? Just want to hear your thoughts and opinions, that’s all.

oooh that's a good question!! i'll put my answer under the cut because it got kinda rambly and there are spoilers (i'm also quite opinionated i'm warning you now!)

in terms of a consistent plotline, i think Sumeru was better. but in terms of personal enjoyment, i liked Fontaine more.

as for why i liked Fontaine more (except the prison part, fuck that), it's for a number of reasons- i like the characters more (Arlecchino and Furina being two of my absolute favorites), the stakes felt higher and more mysterious (Sumeru i kinda figured out what Dottore and Scaramouche were doing early on), the NPC deaths hit hard because they actually stayed dead (rip Melus and Silver you two will not be forgotten), i really liked the trial aspects, and also FOUL LEGACY APPEARANCE!!!! HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY!!!!! it also helped that Fontaine was the first archon questline to not feature the Fatui as the main bad guys, which i absolutely love

oh and i like the narwhal weekly boss better than the Scaramech boss. in fact i have a bit of a hatred for the Scaramech boss because of how it's entirely based off of the floating rabbit-thing gimmick- the only reasons i generally enjoy doing it is because A.) we're beating up Scaramouche and B.) the music slaps

Furina is also one of my favorite characters in the entire game now. she doesn't quite top Childe/Foul Legacy, Arlecchino, or Baizhu, but she's up there. i liked her from the beginning because she was goofy and dramatic, and now i think her story was beautifully written and it was something i can also relate to in a sense, although obviously not nearly on the same scale as Furina's struggles. Nahida's story was also good and very tragic, but i don't have anywhere near the same attachment to her as i do to Furina (sorry little radish)

Fontaine also brought back the trend of Fatui Harbingers actually feeling intimidating. the last time i really felt in danger around a Harbinger was Dottore, and since he wasn't the focused Harbinger of the arc i knew he wasn't going to do anything super drastic- i kinda knew Signora was going to die (still in mourning btw) and Scaramouche lost his intimidation factor when he tried to become a god, so Arlecchino being a quiet but powerful force through sheer voice and stance is very lovely

also i generally enjoy underwater exploration more than the rainforest and desert desert MORE DESERT exploration in Sumeru, so that contributes to my Fontaine bias

obviously there are some parts that could be done better, like the implementation of the narwhal boss and the plotline flowing a little better and Chlorinde definitely needing more screentime (better than Sara at least), but yeah Fontaine is my personal favorite. also the whole "erase our problems from everyone's memory" conclusion in Sumeru is kinda ehhhh, i can see why they did that but also the tree containing literally all the world's knowledge is lowkey boring and becomes a bit of a plot hole if you think about it. why couldn't we just take a little trip back to Sumeru to find out the origins of Fontaine's prophecy? i'm sure Nahida, bless her heart, would be more than happy to tell us what's up, but obviously we can't do that because it'd be too easy

i think Fontaine had higher highs and lower lows while Sumeru was consistently pretty good, so if you want a good, solid plotline to show someone, show them Sumeru. i liked Fontaine better, but that's definitely personal preference, hope that answers your question!

[silvery-bluish]

Self and Know for Ars, Friendship for BB and Ris 👀❓

Questions from here!

Thanks as always for the ask Jazz!!!

Ars

Self: How is your OC's relationship with themself? Does your OC like who they are? Is there anything about themself that they would change?

Oh god very bad. Self-rival bad brain morass going on in there. They view themself more in terms of what use they are to other people, and unfortunately they don't think they have anything to offer except their mess of a crusade. Too sharp too strange too dangerous for anything else.

But the thing is they also don't... really want to change any elements of themself? They can't be anything other than what they are-- or, even if they change, become softer, more open, they still contain those other versions of themself, they don't stop existing just because they're out of sight? and they're torn between wanting that self to vanish within the safer names and shapes they wrap themselves in or just vanish altogether, and wanting that self to be seen and accepted and allowed to exist in plain sight.

Know: How well does your OC know themself—their wants, their goals, their motivations? Do they engage in any sort of self-reflection? Is there anything about themself they willfully ignore?

Ars Tries Very Hard not to think about themself. Blank Spot in the middle of their own perception, look Outward instead of Inward. They have approximate knowledge of their goals and motivations, although a lot of those are wrapped in a sort of. Recentering Off of themself? It's all in terms of getting justice for Anathema, in tearing things apart for other people, not in terms of their own hurt and pain (that is 100% factoring in to their decisions! they're just firmly not thinking about it being a factor).

And their wants, well. Those are Unimportant, even the ones they know they have, so what's the point in examining them? They want things, sure, yeah, but wanting them isn't enough anymore.

Arsinoe's in just. such a strange place about self-reflection. Because there's certain things they'll mull over and over again, refuse to let fade to background noise, but most of those are the things that hurt them? Museum diorama mindscape, preserve everything how it Was and very carefully not thinking about the fact that they could be wrong about their Totally Objective View of things. And all things considered they have a fairly firm sense of self, they just. Can't consistently articulate it to people.

BB

Friendship: What's your OC like as a friend? How are they at making new friends? What are the most important friendships in your OC's life?

I think BB considers a lot of people friends on a very surface level. He knows your name and smiles and nods hi and sometimes you get coffee but neither of you actually know what's going on in each other's more personal life, you know? Breaking the Sidestep Mold (because he's only sometimes a Sidestep) to front as Politely Friendly most of the time.

Actually close friends he has significantly fewer of. You've gotta unwind fifteen layers of his nonsense masks off first. When he's not being Sidestep, he and Ars were the original Ride Or Die team back during the farm days. Mutually deeply protective and very specific about not showing that externally when they could avoid it because that's a big no-no and a potential weakspot. When he IS Sidestep, he was genuinely very close to Julia back in the step days! Secret crush that was like 75% gender envy (it's faded out pretty much entirely esp after he flirts with her as the puppet LMAO 'oh im. hm. not actually into her anymore. interesting. wonder what that's about.') but even without that their like. Different personas that are Still Them depending on the social context sort of rhymes???

Ris

Friendship: What's your OC like as a friend? How are they at making new friends? What are the most important friendships in your OC's life?

Ris is a fantastic friend thank you and they're very proud of that. With them I'm trying to manifest like. Biker who has a kitten in their jacket energy. Absolute sweetheart. Deeply loyal, quick to make friends when that loyalty is returned (and even sometimes when it isn't but they're trying to make Healthy Choices lol). They're more reticent about talking about their own issues, because they're not supposed to be the one who needs help, they're supposed to do the helping.

Important friendship-wise, historically, pre-BG3 plot, their best friend is a Triton named Pike who is also their ex (affectionate). Pike's a pirate whose crew briefly pseudo-adopted a teenaged Ris for a bit while they were Rebounding from their ex (derogatory). The two of them broke up when it was generally agreed that Ris didn't make a very good pirate and should stop hanging out on a pirate ship LOL. They still keep in touch and Ris does consistently introduce them as "this is my ex pike." It's a running joke.

I don't want to turn this into a whole Ramble but them @ the whole party is basically "ive known these people for three weeks and i would commit murders for them" but some of that's probably the trauma bonding: this time with hivemind lite!

[catcomixzstudios]

For Trinity: 1, 5, 9

For Luca: 2, 4, 7, 10

For Leon: 11, 13, 14

For Ms. Shepard: 21, 22, 24

OH, lots of material to play with. Thank you, Clockie!!!

TRINITY

1 - What’s your chosen OC’s favorite color? Least favorite? PINK! She also loves purple, but she's absolutely the type to find the girliest clothes and accessories. Least favorite would probably be greens or browns - they just don't got with her style - but she's also less fond of harsh black tones since they make her think of Ms Shepard

5 - What do they like to do in their free time? Do they have any hobbies? Do they even have free time? She has a vibrant social life! As much as she loves her job, she's always looking forward to hanging out with her various friends, colleagues, and dates (don't worry she's always clear about her open relationship status). I choose to imagine that she sometimes relies on Luca to help her organize all of this stuff as a favor, which does often also involve getting Luca out more, so it's a win-win

9 - Tell me your favorite moment with your OC. (Either that you wrote or drew.) It's hard to pick a specific moment, since I had a lot of fun with her and Leon's back-and-forth in the first chapter, but I really appreciated the moment where Leon broke through her facade and actually made her upset for a moment. She's got a lot going on in that head of hers!

LUCA

2 - What do they think is their best feature? This can be both physical or personality wise. She's grounded. The sisters both have their heads in the clouds, but Luca is always there to try and pull them back to reality. It's not the most fun position to have, but it's a necessary one!

4 - What is something that they’re secretly good at? Do they have a hidden talent, such as being a brilliant kazoo player or a master chess wizard? It gets explored in the 2nd Chapter, but it's her gaming skills! Playing games is the main way she blows off steam, so it felt great for her to get to go to the Spring Fair!

7 - Who is your OC’s best friend? How did they meet? So Luca used to hang out with a group of other Tecktrins during her youth - the very same that got her into gaming - but hasn't kept in touch much. She mostly hangs around with one of the sisters outside of work, but now? Leon is absolutely her best friend. They're both laser-focused on what's important, and just enjoy hanging out together!

10 - Where is your OC’s favorite place? Like if they were having a bad day, where would they run off too? Besides an arcade? I imagine there's a wonderful spa sort of thing around the cities that Luca found out about, one that specializes in Tecktrin care. It's part of how she's managed to keep spry!

LEON

11 - Tell me a random useless fact about your OC He's one of those people for whom cilantro tastes like soap. People kept insisting he'd like if he kept trying it until he actually looked that up. Also, he lives in constant fear of becoming lactose intolerant - since much of his diet consists of cheese and milk - so he makes a dedicated effort to consume some of either every day.

13 - Is your OC left handed, right handed, or ambidextrous? Also, can they flip a pancake without dropping it? He's right-handed, but Leon's totally the type to try and become ambidextrous just for the sake of how "cool" it is, and believing it'll allow him to try and write out twice as much if he needs to (it will not)

14 - Does your OC have any superstitions? Good luck rituals? Do they believe in and/or practice the arcane arts? Leon tries to stay practical, so there isn't much of this stuff he'd buy into. The more you assign to powers outside your control, the more likely to are to act like you can't control it, he reasons.

MS SHEPARD

21 - What sets your OC off? What will make them go from a docile little lamb to a rampaging, fire-breathing dragon? People not taking her seriously. She tries to maintain a very professional visage, and anyone who would try to poke holes in that, or otherwise undermine what she's trying to accomplish, get right under her skin You can imagine how much fun she's going to have around Leon

22 - If your OC were a real person, would you be friends with them? Why or why not? Hmm... despite the hard shell she presents in the comic, once she's "off," she seems like someone who you could have a lot of deep conversations with. She tends to worry a lot, but she's also the type to DO something about it, which I would find uplifting

24 - What is your OC’s favorite food? Can they cook it? Where do they get their food? (And most importantly, do you feed your OCs enough? Don’t forget to throw them a meal once in a while.) Ms Shepard's a great cook! Whatever she may lack in other areas, she is confident her friends and colleagues will make up for. Still, she found it important for morale to be able to help provide for her people at Foundation B, so she took up cooking not long after landing the job