#only friends episode 5

[thatgirl4815]

When Only Friends is over and everyone has moved on, we will always remember that the fandom had such an outrage over a two second clip of a man touching another man’s hip tattoo that the director had to apologize and edit every version to put the scene back in

[tinycowboybro]

He's not even fully crying and I feel sick to my stomach lmaoooo (dying)

This is going to haunt me for all of eternity. This post X absolutely destroyed me but also got me thinking about how Sand "lost" his ex to Top, and now Boston is making it seem like nothing will be more important to Ray than Mew, and it all just makes this line more devastating than it already was.

Just the thought of Sand feeling like he wasn't special enough for his ex, and he can't be special enough for Ray even if he wanted to, and that for all of the confidence Sand has in himself and his dreams he's still just a guy who wants to be important to someone.

AUGH

[always-inmyheartx]

Did anyone notice, that in episode 5 the question „can i ask you something?“ was asked three times, by Nick, by Mew and by Sand. And that the questions showed us what‘s really important for the three characters and their journey in the series till now.

Nick asked Boston if there are other people besides him right now. His biggest wish is to be the only person Boston sleeps with and to be loved by him.

Mew asked Top why he loves him. His goal the whole time was to test Top and to understand if he really loves him or if he just wants to sleep with him.

Sand asked Ray about his mother. He really cares deeply for him and wants to understand and to know everything about him.

I really found this interesting and maybe someone else noticed this too? :)

[hotasfahrenheit]

This is what looks like a long one about the push and pull of Sand and Ray inviting each other into their lives in episode 5, sorry not sorry, but it's actually mainly because there's lots of pretty gifs? (because First and Khao are pretty obviously) here we go!

Ray spent this episode involving himself in every moment of Sand's day, dipping fully into Sand's world. Learning about Sand, following him around, being fed by Sand, letting Sand dress him up and choose his clothing, listening to Sand's music, going the places Sand wants or needs to be, meeting Sand's mom, finding out more about why Sand is who he is. Learning about how Sand takes care of other people, how Sand is always doing things for other people.

Getting up on a stage and singing a song to the boy who is used to being on a stage, singing for others.

Ray is taking steps in the right direction- towards Sand, away from Mew. Learning how to care for, and about, another person, who actually cares for, and about, him as well.

Sand is letting him in, but Sand is also not putting in the effort to learn about Ray and Ray's life at the same time. He's letting himself get swept away by Ray's charm and light but not trying to see what's going on in Ray's life that's driving him to seek solace in Sand's life.

The simplest representation of it is right here. Sand doesn't want to go in Ray's car; he doesn't trust Ray or his driving, he won't let Ray take him in his car. Ray can come with him, he WANTS Ray to come with him, but he won't enter Ray's space.

(that cute satisfied smile, how dare you First Kanaphan)

Sand is aware that Ray has something holding him back from being serious about a relationship, from being more than friends, but he doesn't try to find out what it is. He asks for one piece of Ray's truth in this episode, by asking what happened to Ray's mom- but he's asking about Ray's past, not about Ray's present.

Of all the things holding Ray back he clearly didn't expect it to be another person, but he also doesn't want to hear any kind of explanations or excuses from Ray after he finds out about Mew from Boston in the messiest way possible short of Boston sending him the make out video. He's been so focused on pulling Ray into his world that he wasn't prepared to get hit with this kind of information and immediately shuts down and closes himself off from Ray.

Ray tries, in the most direct way that he's done so far, to invite Sand in, to ask questions, to find out the truth, to find out about him.

But Sand still won't let this go both ways, he won't take the step to involve himself directly in Ray's life.

Turning over closes himself off physically from Ray and pushes him back out, and that's that. He's done, without really starting.

Could and should Ray have been more upfront that he had feelings for someone else when he started getting involved with Sand? Absolutely, especially as soon as he started pushing for more of Sand's time and attention. Ray isn't innocent here, though I have a lot of opinions about how genuine Ray's being in love with Mew is even by episode one, and definitely by this point.

It can also be really hard to process leaving behind old feelings for new ones, especially when you're dealing with people from what are or what feel like VERY SEPARATE parts of your life. Ray is a King of Compartmentalization, and his school life/friend circle/feelings for Mew have been kept almost entirely away from his time with Sand outside of the bar space that they all occupy, the overlap in the Venn diagram of Ray's life; alone at his place or Sand's, making out in his car at Sand's house after the party but barely directly interacting AT the party in front of Ray's circle, at the record store, at the concert, at Sand's mom's club, are all away from the rest of Ray's life. It can be much easier to keep the aspects of your life that make you miserable away from what makes you happy rather than deal with bridging the gaps between them, and Ray is honestly incredibly relatable for wanting to keep them apart even though it isn't the healthiest or best way for him to be dealing with things, for him or for Sand.

Nick is the first person to actually intrude on Ray and Sand's existence in tandem to each other, and he then brings Boston into their orbit and all hell breaks loose. This is probably exactly what Ray was afraid of happening- the two halves of his life coming together, in a way he absolutely cannot control; the bitter and unhappy side meeting the shining and wonderfully hopeful half, and an explosion that leaves everything in tatters.

Normally when Sand tells him no, Ray is able to use his puppy dog eyes on Sand to bring him around, but that's not going to work this time. Sand needs to be willing to go further into Ray's life to have Ray in his, and Ray needs to be open and honest about everything instead of only offering tidbits when directly asked or pressed into honesty by circumstance. Hopefully whatever it is that does work is something that involves them both being healthier, happier versions of themselves! But that's not what this show is about so we'll see how it goes.

[antisocial-burrito]

Thanks @hua-chengs-other-eye for making this for me

[victorialovesstiles]

Only just now realizing that Ray coughs, pulls his tank top down, and clasps his hands in front of himself in an attempt to cover up 🤭🫣😭

[hay1ock]

FFS, Boston. And there you have my review of Only Friends Episode 5. See you next time.

No but seriously, what the heck? There was nothing subtle or sly this time round, Boston went straight for the jugular with Ray this episode *takes a breath* My poor baby just wanted to drink, get high and avoid his problems. Give my puppy-eyed, depressed, alcoholic cutie pie a break would ya?

Ramble mode activated. I start these with good intentions of having some sort of order to my thoughts but think with every episode I get even more random and all over the place lol. So I shall apologise to anybody reading this in advance.

Where to (try to) focus first? I guess Sand (and Ray) as he opened the episode for us. I like the idea of us and our heroes sharing the same 24 hours. We might not fill them the same way but the fact it’s the same for everyone, not an hour less or an hour more, everybody gets 24, I never thought about it that way. I kind of like it. I don’t really have a ranking for the characters other than Ray, who is currently sitting very pretty at the top. And I think… probably… Top earned himself his position down at the bottom (yes even Boston’s outburst this episode didn’t have me yeeting him into the deepest darkest pit - I hate his actions, but also kind of love it all going to shit - however, this is under the assumption that everything, somehow, will work out for Ray and Sand in the end. If not, then Boston, sorry, I’ll be going ‘This is Sparta’ on your ass and you’re plummeting to the darkest depths of the rankings). The other 4 main boys currently all sit in between Ray and Top, shuffling around depending on the day lol. But I digress, what I meant to say was OMG I love Sand. He earned himself a little best boy badge this episode. For the time being at least, he seems the most grounded and stable.

It was great to get to see into his life and his routines. I love that he allowed Ray to experience his world. And I think that it’s the sweetest thing ever that despite all his whining, Ray went along with everything Sand said so he could spend the day with him - ate his breakfast, got on the bike, played dress up, waited in the crowd to save their spot, let Sand treat him to a beer, sang karaoke. He took an interest. He didn’t poo-poo the secondhand clothes simply said they weren’t his thing. He asked about Sand’s dreams (Like does Ray actually have dreams of his own? The hostel was a dream Mew had FOR him and his future. Does a guy slowly killing himself with alcohol think to dream, hope, plan for a future?). He wanted to help with the ‘debt collectors’ (I think even Sand would be willing to accept Ray bailing him out if for the sake of his mum), asked about Sand’s mum, answered Sand’s question about his own mum (god the way Sand faltered pouring that drink as soon as Ray said how his mum died), and even right at the end offered to answer any questions Sand had about what Boston had said about Mew (The way Ray said ‘okay?’ and ‘Sand’🥺). The little steps Ray, actually both of them had taken were made meaningless when Boston revealed what he did. I hated seeing Ray go straight for the alcohol in order to cope with what had gone down. I just hope they weren’t pushed too many steps back.

That last scene in bed was heartbreaking. They had shared so many intimate moments across the day, and not just the tension between them at breakfast and in the changing room. Ray had gotten to meet Sand’s mom - I couldn’t with his little face when he mouthed ‘Happy birthday’ when they sang the second time, as if it was a whole new world. I would assume his birthdays when his mum was alive were vastly different considering her depression and drinking. The girl at the concert, the way she was introduced to show that Ray’s attention was truly on Sand. And the way Ray was hanging off Sand and leaning against him so easily at the party and… Sighs. The bubble bursts and we’re in bed and Sand is turning away from him, thinking there’s no way he can fit into Ray’s 24 hours, that he isn’t special enough to get his own ‘extra hour’, gah I wanted to cry. I mean Ray had made time for you that very day, Sand! Noooo. It doesn’t help First plays the sad and hurt puppy face so well. There was a lot going on, they’d been drinking so don’t blame Sand for being overwhelmed and thinking it easier to back off, just shut the conversation down, at least right then. Hearing about Top again, the fact Top’s with someone Ray loves probably brought up some unwanted memories of his ex, along with finding out Ray had been in love with Mew for years and he probably couldn’t see how he could possibly compete with that. And then we have Ray, who I don’t know if he’s in any way equipped or sober enough to be able to comfort Sand or express himself in that moment, so just says ‘Happy Birthday’ as it’s now after 1 am. What a way to start the day 😭

Speaking of Ray. He was never going to win to be honest when he said he and Sand were just friends. Granted they’ve been all touchy-feely, and flirty (Ray has been that way from the start - ‘light it for me’) but we’re not aware of them discussing anything beyond the initial ‘friends’ agreement. We don’t know if they’ve had sex again, if Sand had kept to his one time rule. I would assume so. Is it just kissing and making each other feel good? Or has it mostly been Ray going round, drinking, and passing out? At first, when Sand said about Ray wanting to hang with him again I thought he was referencing the music store date and Ray driving him about that day. But when they were getting wasted, he did say any more than this and he would have to start charging rent, which implies Ray’s been hanging out and staying over a few times, probably not wanting to be at home, alone, drowning his sorrows in the bathtub every night. If they’ve been in each other’s company that much, I can understand Sand getting ideas in his head.

But what was Ray supposed to do? Go against what he still considered Sand’s wishes? Friends was what was agreed. Even this episode, regarding his birthday Sand said, “Who are you to think you need to know.” Granted, he’s expressed stuff to his mum and it’s written on his face (especially for the audience) that he does think more about Ray. But as far as Ray’s concerned Sand’s drawn, and keeps redrawing, the line at friends, very flirty friends, but friends nonetheless, and are far from declaring themselves boyfriends (I suppose he could have added they were friends who’d had sex and hang out and Sand likes sticking his hand in his pants… yeah maybe not). It hurts that Sand was hurt by what Ray said, but I can’t really blame Ray for choosing to say they’re friends. If one or both are feeling a way about their ‘friends’ label, they really need to have a proper talk. And soon. Sand saying, ‘It’s nothing to do with him’ and that he’s not special hurt him, Ray and ME!! And next ep we probably get the “What are we to each other?” argument. *Takes a breath* If Boston hadn’t interfered maybe they could have started to figure something out. But nope, he stole away any progress they’d been making, at least for now.

Extra random Ray and Sand things.

1. Sand has some interesting t-shirts. I liked the Home Alone one he had on when cooking breakfast.

2. Ray saying he’s no Bruce Wayne *eyes dead parents* I mean, Ray’s halfway there. Oops 🫢

3. I actually think Ray (Khaotung) suited the tighter fitting t-shirts. The yellow actually looked good, but gotta say that bold pink one… nice.

4. Sand’s mum is an angel (a loud, crazy, pretending to be in trouble to surprise her baby boy for his birthday angel) She’s so friendly and would love for her to dote on Ray a little. BL gods please protect her.

5. That cookie eating scene in the party montage 🫠

6. Yo is a queen and deserves to be treated as such.

Okay. It was quite a Ray and Sand heavy episode so not sure I have as much to waffle on about for the others but here we go. Top and Mew next. I just… why does their relationship fill me with so much anxiety? Taken as stand alone encounters, they’re actually super cute. The little dates this episode were really nice. A cute little bike ride and Mew snuggling up to Top’s arm. Like, they have some really sweet moments… BUT… I just can’t get over the small controlling aspects within it. Like this episode Top continues to trouble me with first saying about swapping the project to his hotel, the small dig at Ray and Boston over their parts in the project, then the LASIK thing (and the fact Mew appears to have gone through with it based on the preview.) The blind dating restaurant, I mean it sounds a really cool idea, but again it put Mew in a vulnerable place. I mean Mew was literally in the dark this time rather than figuratively over the fact Top slept with Boston. Ponders. Am I supposed to feel this way? Is it just because I know more than Mew does? They just leave me uneasy.

So, Mew decided to sleep with Top. I’m a bit sad he had feelings that he had to, though I do think he’d maybe reached a point regardless where he had fallen for Top enough and built enough trust to want to do it. I had wondered if the attention Top was getting from other men was in part Mew’s paranoia, though it might have been happening, whether his imagination was heightened by that fear Top might get bored. Despite the uneasiness I get from them, I do believe there are genuine feelings between the two of them. Mew was looking so enamoured in the end section of the date, but again, was the way that Top was behaving just part of Mew’s imagination. From paranoia to embellishing the romance of the moment?

The fact Mew phoned Boston though? 💀If not for last episode he probably would have called Ray, but as it was Boston was the next bestie in line. I can’t blame him for calling, there’s no reason for him to think Boston is anything but a friend. We don’t know how long they’ve been friends. They’ve been together 4 yrs via the uni course, but did any of them know each other beforehand? Anything Boston has done that we know of against Mew has been behind the scenes. And him sleeping with multiple partners isn’t what makes him a bad person. Also he is the one who introduced Top into the group, the first to voice his ‘concern’ about Top’s track record, and he’d certainly be the one to encourage Mew, and support what Mew had pretty much already decided.

The build up was again a sweet moment, I liked the clumsy knocking of Mew’s legs on the couch *side eyes the fucking huge bed* and I’m glad Top went slow and treated Mew well. And they’ve exchanged ‘I love yous’ so everything will hurt that little bit more when shit hits the fan. I can’t wait lol.

And then we have Nick and Boston. I can’t decide if I should be sad for Nick or a little bit scared of him. I do feel for him thinking that if he changes himself into a Top clone, he’ll maybe get Boston to want him more. But also, like if this was a horror movie I feel like it’d be going the direction of Nick actually becoming Top and taking over his life lol. I did wonder if it was more for revenge purposes, make himself more appealing, lure Boston in and then get revenge, but it seems he’s still as infatuated as ever and I do feel bad for him. Despite his questionable actions, there is something sympathetic about Nick. Well, apart from the fact he keeps walking in and interrupting Ray and Sand’s quality time lol. God damn it, Nick.

The pool scene. I don’t know what Boston is playing at. Part of me is suspicious of whether he’s found the wiretap in his car already (I mean dropping that mention of someone with a video is a bit of a coincidence) so he’s doting on Nick a little more than usual, or is it a kind of rebound thing? So Top’s discarded him but at least Nick is sticking around. Or is he being genuine and he’s looking for a change? Boston, genuine? Hmmm. Seriously, this show gives me trust issues lol especially regarding Top, Nick and Boston’s characters. The other three, I feel they’re more straightforward and as of yet haven’t been shown to do anything with malicious intent. Ray fucks up but his intentions aren’t from a bad place. Everybody looking at each other at the pool though… Top having some weird look of disgust/unease while looking at Boston with Nick, Boston looking back at him, Nick watching Boston, and Mew in his own happy world where Nick is nice and cute and he and Boston should definitely date. What a mess.

As soon as Boston hung up the call from Mew we knew he was pissed. I’m proud of him being able to keep up his performance on the phone to Mew. Boston likes sex, has been advocating for Mew to lose his virginity, so there was no way Mew would expect him to say anything but go for it. Boston - Safe sex ambassador. There’s probably a part of him hoping Top does fuck Mew and dump him, but I believe what Top keeps telling Boston about being interested in Mew beyond that, and think Boston believes it too. From here it was a series of unfortunate events. Because of the call he sticks to Nick for longer and then bumps into Ray and then all hell breaks loose. The way Boston was watching Ray and Sand… I really want to know if there is a reason behind Boston seemingly not wanting to see either of his friends happy. Or is it really just the fact he’s an asshole? Not everybody has some deep meaningful backstory. Some people are just assholes. He was mad Top rejected him, mad Mew and Top were going to have sex and he took it out on Ray? Saw an easy target, maybe thought he could blame it all on alcohol and drugs in the morning? And Sand was collateral damage?

I kinda want there to be something more, like is it Mew or Ray or both he maybe has a problem with? When Top was complimenting Mew and calling him cute in glasses all the way back in episode 1, Boston’s eyes were on Ray and how he reacted. He poked at him by calling him a burden. Was he after fucking Top to mess with Mew in order to mess with Ray? It’s been 2 years since the kiss, no idea what’s been going on since then, but for Boston still to be in the friends group he couldn’t have done anything to the degree he did this episode, and certainly not this direct. Though I guess maybe he could have around Ray, as who’s to say Ray would even remember anything that went down if he got himself blackout drunk like he did in episode 1. Also some of what he said. Why is he so obsessed with the idea Mew and Ray slept together? He keeps saying it like it’s a fact. But I don’t see why Mew’s flashback would be a lie. So I can’t see anything having happened between them after Mew rejected Ray. And then Boston mentioning ‘two-timing’. Is that in reference to anything in particular, or just a way to say loving Mew but dating Sand would be equivalent to cheating/two-timing? And asking why Ray was getting angry??? Dude, you just ruined his night, brought up Mew, told him you took photos of a not traumatic, but a personal and vulnerable moment, and were ‘keeping track’ of him, said him and Mew slept together, and everybody’s emotions were heightened because of drink and drug cookies. Still in love or not, I’d be pissed off too. *Deep breath* It’s fine. Everything will be fine… totally fine… Right?

Random things.

1. Sand telling Boston (and Nick) to go to their room. I love Sand.

2. Nick, come on baby. Everybody be telling you Boston is trash. I know you think you love him but, you know, maybe it’s time to take a hint.

3. Boston, you little shit. It’s a good job you’re entertaining and the whole point of this show is about messy relationships lol.

4. Drake’s character is back?! Why do I get this weird feeling Nick’s gonna go along with something he doesn’t really want to… threesome??

5. Very 6 mains heavy this ep, so hoping to get a bit more of some of the side characters next week at uni and Mew’s party. Though if I’m honest, I was so engrossed in the main boys I didn’t miss them. I’m sorry okay lol.

6. Shit is going down next episode. Am I ready to see Ray getting punched by who up to now has been his one shining light in his shitty life? No 😭

Right, I need to stop lol. I was going off in all directions lol. It’s so hard to believe we’re coming up to the halfway point with next episode. So much has already happened.

Thank you if you read all that.

Can’t wait to see what’s next.

Previous rambles

Episode 4

Episode 3

Episode 2

Episode 1

[jenyifer]

The big Boston Vs Ray fight… let’s talk about why?

1. Boston is only caring about himself. Boston wants to make Ray feel as shit as he does. He can’t take the cutesy shit when in Boston’s mind Ray should be as hurt by the truth as Boston is. (The boring answer. Kind of doubt this. Boston does like Ray and Mew there is a reason why they have been friends for years.)

2. Boston feels uncomfortable with SandRay because it is a side step from BostonNick. Boston likes to tell the truth. Ton is hurt by Mew calling him about Top (for whatever reason not going into that again). He has been omitting the truth from Nick about Top. Possibly he feels bad about it since Nick is definitely as in love with him as Sand is in love with Ray. When he’s calling Ray out it’s projection. He doesn’t think things are going to work out with Nick and it scares him. Boston loves the truth. Really look at his lines 90% are true. It’s probably eating at him that he and ray are stewing in lies so he cold shock treatment Ray and Sand because he can’t do that to himself and Nick although he wants it to happen subconsciously. (Humm maybe? But I think Boston is semi blind to what’s going on with him and Nick.)

3. Boston does want what’s best for Ray. Boston in his own fucked up way care about his friend that is genuinely why he took Mew and Ray’s photo. That’s why in his black room in the intro he has photos of the gang. Boston doesn’t want Ray to two time himself. Boston sees that Ray is still obsessed with Mew and to Boston it is for the best that Sand who is love eyes at Ray not waste his time. Ton was trying to save Ray from getting in deeper with Sand. Ton has only seen this tiny window into SandRay and Ton already feels like he’s failed Mew who is currently sleeping with Top. Ton is trying to rip the bandaid off for his friend in his own fucked up way. (Possible.)

4. Boston Likes Ray not in a friendly way. Talked about this before but is still going strong by this scene. Nick tries to pull Boston to his room initially but Boston wants to stay with Sand and Ray. Boston feels extremely competitive with Mew because that’s who Ray likes. Boston when he gets drunk can’t hold back the truth that might get his objective of getting with Ray. Ton believes Ray only sees Sand as a friend but he can’t hold back the truth that Mew is currently fucking Top. Ton bringing up the photo of RayMew is because Ton still feels salty about it and wants Ray to get over Mew and end things with Sand because it’s annoying and in the way. Ton has no problem pushing Nick out the way because he doesn’t care he’s 100% focused on telling Ray what’s actually going on. He wants Ray to get over mew not just play rebound game with Sand. But the reasoning is so Boston can move in because Ray is his actual type and has been his goal for years. (Unlikely but it’s fun.)

[asscemme]

i love sandray sweet moments but what i love more is angst and suffering and they are perfect in that version

[passinhosdetartaruga]

I know a lot happened this episode, but all I could think about is the fact the they just

THEY JUST LEFT THE FOOD BEHIND!

[krazycattgurl]

SandRay ❤️

[thatgirl4815]

Seeing the way he opened this liquor bottle so hastily broke something inside me

[tinycowboybro]

ok also, i'm not sure if i'm just bad at reading Top's facial expressions, but why does Top always look mildly disgusted at almost everything 😭

He's making the same face he does when he sees Boston and it caught me so off guard when they panned back to him in the cafe and he was making that face at MEW lmao like,. he does not hold back that stare with anyone

[0lk0s]

im a victim of the big brown eyes diseases when it comes to ray... like he does no wrong in my eyes lmao

but on serious note I just love how everyone and their mamas is toxic in this series, realest representation of gay men on god! mew is a shit friend but him and sand are the least toxic ones imo

[dramatothethirdpower]

I, personally, would not eat here after that look the waiter gave Mew. He’s gonna get pee in his food.

[antisocial-burrito]

I forgot to put on my clown makeup before I watched the new only friends episode today 😭