#I don’t want to be like this anymore but I can’t help myself
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Gojo x Reader x Geto "Squid Game"
Warning: [This story contains Yandere themes, possessive and obsessive behavior, graphic violence, gunshots, and blood]
Materialist
Part 3
In a deadly game where survival is the only option, Y/N, with a painful injury, relies on her two protective boyfriends, Satoru and Suguru, to navigate the perilous chaos, unaware that the true threat lies right beside her
Y/n's POV
Once again, I find myself in the room, a place where survival doesn't mean fighting for our lives at least, not yet. The air around me feels sterile, yet suffocating. It's a toxic mix of dread and denial that clings to the walls and presses on my chest as we sit to eat the tiny portion of food. My head spins as I try to process everything: the deaths, the sacrifices, the mind-numbing futility of it all. Lives lost in an instant, snuffed out like they never mattered.
And yet, the worst part? The nagging fear that my boyfriends might be next. The thought twists my stomach into knots.
God, I feel so fucking stupid for even being here.
“Hey, baby. What’s got you so lost in thought?” Suguru’s voice cuts through the haze, his arm draping around my shoulders like it can shield me from the weight of reality.
Satoru glances back, his striking blue eyes gleaming with that familiar mischievous glint. “Just so we’re clear,” he announces, loud enough for the whole room to hear, “I’m not sharing my food.” His voice is so random, so absurd that I can’t help but chuckle despite everything.
Suguru snorts, clearly unamused. “You’re full of shit. Didn’t you just feed her your food last time?”
“I was only talking about you, babe,” Satoru grins, his eyes twinkling as he shoves a piece of bread into my mouth with far too much confidence.
They’re always like this joking, bickering, pushing each other's buttons. Even here, in the middle of a deadly game. It’s both a comfort and a curse. Because when they shift gears? When the game begins? They turn into something else entirely. Something terrifying.
“I hope we win this time,” I murmur, my voice barely above a whisper. “I just want to leave. I don’t want any more of this.”
Satoru hums, popping a bread into his mouth and eyeing me with that devil-may-care smile. "Well, let’s just pray the ones who begged to stay already met their unfortunate end..”
I frown, the bitter taste of unease crawling up my throat, but before I can say anything, Suguru adds, so casually, “We made sure at least one of them did.”
My heart drops, the food in my mouth suddenly sour. “What… what do you mean?”
Satoru smirks, leaning his chin on his hand like this is some inside joke I’m too slow to understand. “Don’t overthink it, sweetcheeks. Some people just aren’t cut out for survival.” His tone is smooth, but there’s a cold edge beneath it that sends a shiver down my spine.
Were they serious? Or were they messing with me? I can’t tell anymore, and that’s what scares me the most.
Dread
"The votings will now begin..." The announcement echoes through the room, a chill running down my spine. A heavy silence fills the air as everyone rises, some frantically whispering their last prayers, others nervously laughing, awaiting their fate. The tension is suffocating.
"How cruel," I mutter under my breath, my gaze flicking to the men beside me. I can feel the weight of their presence, their proximity pulling me in, both comforting and suffocating.
“Y/N, you’re standing too far away from us,” Suguru’s voice cuts through the murmur of voices, his hand suddenly on my arm, pulling me closer. I’m wedged between him and Satoru, the pressure of their bodies making my breath hitch. It’s protective, possessive like they’re making sure no one can get too close.
I should be grateful, right? But there's a strange gnawing unease in the pit of my stomach. What if something happens to them? What if I can’t keep them safe?
Before I can get lost in my own thoughts, it’s my turn to vote. I take a shaky breath as I step toward the platform, the chaos around me escalating people shouting, crying, pleading. The noise is overwhelming. But I don’t care. I press the red button with a trembling hand. I just want out of this place, away from the madness, the fear.
Then
A collective groan, followed by cheers and cries, fills the room as the decision is made. We’re staying. Another round. Tears sting my eyes, and before I can stop myself, they spill over. I hiccup, my sobs coming in uneven gasps, and I can't hide them anymore.
“Hey, hey, sweetie,” Suguru’s voice is soft, a contrast to the storm of emotions inside me. His hand tilts my chin up, his gaze intense as he meets my eyes. “It’s okay. It’s okay, shhh…” He pulls me into his arms, but no matter how tight he holds me, I can’t feel at ease. I want to scream. I want to make it stop.
“I got you both into this,” I whisper, my voice barely a breath. “You two always protect me, but… but I’m the one putting you at risk.”
Suguru and Satoru exchange a look, but their faces are unreadable, a shared understanding flickering between them. Suguru pulls back, his hands still cupping my face, his touch gentle but firm. He wipes away my tears, his gaze softening, but there's an underlying intensity I can't quite place.
“Y/N,” he says, his voice low, every word wrapped in something that feels almost… dangerous. “Look at us. We’re here because we want to be. We chose to be with you, and we’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Even if that means playing these games again and again.”
His thumb brushes over my cheek, the softness of the gesture masking the unspoken promise in his words.
“Besides,” Satoru interjects with a smirk, his attempt at lightening the mood falling flat. There’s something darker in his eyes, something calculating. “have you seen me out there? I’m a pro at this. You’ve got the best of the best protecting you, baby.”
I try to smile, but it doesn’t reach my heart. How could I not love them? They’re the only thing keeping me anchored in this nightmare.
"Sweetcheeks” Satoru adds, his voice dropping, his tone laced with something darker. “This is our decision. To be with you. To protect you. Nothing else matters. Understand?”
Before I can ask how they even got here, how they managed to bypass the system, I’m struck by the nagging thought that keeps haunting me. They’re too loaded with money to have been invited into a game meant for people desperate for cash. I can’t fathom how they managed to slip past the system, how they of all people could end up in a place like this.
The thought lingers, a sickening twist in my stomach, but before I can voice my confusion, we’re interrupted by the announcement of the next game. My heart thunders in my chest. I want to stay lost in their presence, to bury the questions and unease that are gnawing at me, but I know I can’t let my guard down not in this place.
We’re ushered into a new room, and my eyes dart around. The doors are different colors reds, blues, blacks each one more unsettling than the last. It feels… off. I turn to Suguru and Satoru, hoping for some sign of reassurance, but their faces are unreadable, their eyes sharp and calculating.
“What game is this?” My voice trembles slightly, and I can’t hide the unease in my chest.
“This one’s easy,” Satoru says, his smirk returning, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. The cold calculation in his gaze gives me a chill. They're already thinking ahead, plotting moves, and I can’t help but feel a twinge of fear. I swallow hard, my stomach tightening.
Then I see them. Yuuji and Nobara. Their bright smiles stand out like beacons in the gloom, their youthful innocence a stark contrast to the twisted world we’re trapped in.
“Y/N-oneesan! Thank god you're doing okay!” Nobara calls, her voice bright and innocent, as though none of this is real.
“Yeah and we’ll get through this game, together again!” I say, trying to muster some semblance of courage. I don’t want them to see the fear that’s clawing at me from the inside.
But before I can say anything more, the voice of the game master booms, cutting through the silence like a knife.
“The next game will be ‘Mingle.’ A number will be announced, and you must quickly find your group and enter a room before the countdown ends. Failure to do so will result in elimination.”
The words echoed in my mind, and the first thought that came to me was that I had to prioritize them Suguru and Satoru. I groaned inwardly, the weight of the situation settling on me. This game… once again, I was going to be a burden because of my leg injury.
Let The Game Begin
The platform beneath us begins to shift, spinning slowly, and I’m pulled against Satoru’s side. His arm around my waist tightens, holding me steady as chaos erupts all around us.
“Four!” the announcer’s voice booms, and without hesitation, Suguru grabs my hand. Together, the three of us dash toward the nearest door, just making it through before another man squeezes in behind us.
Before I can catch my breath, Satoru pulls me into a dark corner, his body pressing close against mine. “Stay close, sweetcheeks,” he murmurs, his voice dripping with something dangerous and sweet, all at once.
The man inches forward, his eyes darting nervously between us. I glance at Suguru, who stands still, eyes locked onto the guy with an almost predatory focus.
"Two!"
The number echoes through the speakers, and my heart drops to my stomach. I gasp, spinning around to face them. “Y-you guys go with each other!” I shout, but my words feel useless. It’s like they’ve already planned it out in their heads, without even a glance at each other. Suguru doesn’t even hesitate he scoops me up into his arms, while Satoru bolts off in the opposite direction.
“NO! Please! Satoru! Suguru, just go with him!” I scream, my voice catching in panic. But they don’t listen. They’re already committed.
Suguru carries me into a nearby room, his grip firm yet oddly gentle, as if he’s trying to soothe me while everything around us falls apart. “Oh my god, Satoru…” I whisper, trembling uncontrollably, my mind racing.
“Shhh, baby, it’s Satoru. It’ll be okay,” Suguru’s voice is calm, but I can hear the edge in it he’s trying to reassure me, but even he knows there’s nothing really okay about this. I try to steady my breath, clinging to him for comfort.
“But what if—” I begin, only to be immediately cut off by Suguru’s voice, low but firm.
“You’ll hurt his ego if you think he’ll die over this. He’s not like them,” Suguru says, his words wrapping around me like a protective shield. But I can’t shake the feeling gnawing at me what if?
The sound of gunshots rings through the air, sharp and fast. My heart skips a beat, and I flinch, sinking into Suguru’s embrace as if it will somehow block out the noise. But it doesn’t. The gunfire continues, and my body trembles even harder.
Suguru holds me tighter, his arms tightening around me, though it doesn’t shield me from the fear. The only comfort is the steady beat of his heart and the knowledge that, for now, I’m alive. Safe.
Back in the platform a familiar voice cuts through the chaos, booming and undeniably confident. “I’m wounded, sweetcheeks. You think I’ll die over a game like this? Don’t lump me with them.” Satoru’s voice is loud, mocking the tension, even as the sounds of fighting continue around us.
Suguru growls in response, irritation flickering across his features. “Quiet it down, cocky bastard,” he mutters, his tone just as dangerous as Satoru’s bravado.
Despite the chaos unfolding around us, I can’t help but smile softly at Satoru’s voice, a sense of relief flooding through me. He’s alive. And that’s enough for now.
I don’t care about the judging stares or the whispers of the others. My hands find Satoru’s arms, gently caressing them, tracing the muscles I know so well. It’s my way of grounding myself in the moment. He’s here. He’s alive.
“Six!” The number rings out, but all I can hear are the panicked voices around me, the chaos intensifying. My heart races as I spot Yuuji and Nobara dashing toward us. “Yuuji! Nobara!” I shout, and they sprint over to us, barely slowing down before we all head toward the nearest door.
Suguru and Satoru are right behind us, each of them carrying an elderly woman between them. I breathe heavily in relief. Thank god they’re okay.
“Y/N oneesan, thank god you're safe!” Nobara's voice is full of worry as we hug, but my gaze drifts to the old lady in Suguru and Satoru’s arms, her frail body barely reacting to the chaos around her.
“Are you okay, ma’am?” I ask gently, but she doesn’t respond. Her face is pale, and I feel a pang of guilt. It’s like she’s completely checked out, her mind lost in some place far from this madness.
I can’t help but feel sorry for her, but then my thoughts shift back to the game. I just want my boyfriends to be safe, and honestly, that’s all that matters right now. I’m happy as long as they’re with me, but this game is getting worse with every passing minute.
When will this end? Are they planning to wipe us all out? The thought gnaws at the back of my mind, and I can’t help but feel the tension tightening around my chest.
The situation is spiraling out of control. People are fighting over doors now, desperate and vicious, as if they think that a door will be their ticket to survival. The fear is palpable, and it’s only growing.
"Three!" The number blares through the air, and before I can even react, Satoru grabs me, pulling me along with him as Suguru runs alongside us. Yuuji and Nobara split off, each taking their own path, but my mind is too clouded to follow them. All I can focus on is the one thing I can’t control.
“The doors!” I scream, panic flooding my chest as I watch them one by one slam shut.
“There!” Suguru yells, his voice sharp with frustration. His eyes dart to the door ahead of us, wide open, a moment of hope flashing across his face. We make a dash for it, only to come face-to-face with a man already inside.
“It’s taken!” I scream, my hands trembling as I turn, ready to find another exit.
But Satoru’s voice, cool and calm, interrupts me. “No, it’s not.”
I look up at him in confusion as he leads us inside. The countdown is nearing its end, and I can already hear the doors locking trapping us all inside with no way out.
“What do you mean? We’ll get killed if we’re more than three!” I say, my voice rising in panic.
Satoru chuckles, low and dangerously playful, his hands pulling me closer. “Baby, why don’t you just give me a hug?” His voice is teasing, but there’s an edge to it, a darkness hiding beneath the surface. I stare at him in confusion, but before I can respond, his arms wrap around me tightly, pulling my face into his chest. My heart pounds as his grip tightens, his presence overwhelming.
But then, it happens. I hear it the faint, desperate sounds of a man begging, pleading, “Pl-please, no!” My body goes numb, the blood draining from my face as I realize what’s happening. Suguru is going to kill him. I try to pull away, to stop it, but the door locks behind us. There’s nothing I can do.
The sounds of struggling of someone’s life slipping away—fill the room. I feel the urge to shout, to scream, to stop this madness, but it’s like I’m paralyzed. The door’s locked, my body frozen in place, but my mind races.
Why does this feel so... normal? Is it just survival instinct? Or is it something darker?
Satoru pulls away, his hands gently brushing through my hair, and I glance up, my heart sinking into my stomach. The man on the floor is lifeless, his eyes wide in death, a pool of blood spreading beneath him.
“Y/N,” Suguru says softly, his voice almost tender as he approaches me. “It’s bound to happen.” His words should comfort me, but all I can feel is the growing weight of dread. I step back instinctively, and I don’t even realize it until I see the way Suguru’s gaze darkens.
“Are you scared of me?” he asks, his voice barely a whisper, but there's an intensity in it that makes my chest tighten. I can’t speak. I can’t even look at him.
“I... I...” I stammer, my voice faltering as I try to process everything. My eyes flick to the blood on Suguru’s face, and my stomach turns.
Suguru's voice, smooth and dark, cuts through the silence. “Y/N, you know what I said earlier, right? We’ll protect you, even if it means I have to kill again and again,” he says, his words light, almost playful. But there's a twisted edge to them that makes my skin crawl. Satoru spoke up reaching for me “It’s inevitable, baby. He was alone. He was going to die.” He smirks, his eyes glinting with something darker. “No biggie, sweetcheeks.”
No biggie? I feel my blood run cold, and my mind goes numb. Am I hearing this right?
I finally look up at them—Suguru with blood on his face, his eyes dark and unreadable, and Satoru, his expression that sickeningly serene smile, as if this is all part of some twisted game.
I’m scared. I’m so scared. The terror claws at my chest, making my hands shake. But... they’re safe. Right? Aren’t they?
They’re mine. They’ll protect me. But at what cost? As I stare at their faces Suguru’s sharp, calculating eyes and Satoru’s playful yet chilling smile I realize something deeper is happening.
I’m caught. Trapped between fear and longing, between the twisted desire to feel safe in their arms and the horrifying truth that safety comes with a price.
But then, as my heart races and my breath catches in my throat, I realize something else:
Isn’t this what I wanted? For them to be alive, no matter the cost?
#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#jujutsu gojo#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk gojo#jujutsu satoru#geto suguru#gojo x reader x geto#suguru geto#geto x reader#jujutsu geto#jjk geto#satosugu
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Pls do Caroline Harvey HCs
with just an eeny weeny teensy tiny bit of smut plss 🙏🏾
Headcannons . CH
pairing: caroline harvey (kk harvey) x reader
warnings: a mix of fluffy content and smut, so read at your own discretion and minors and men please do NOT interact!
this is my peace offering for being so busy and slacking on writing, full length fic coming soon!!
also not spell checked, sorry!!
SFW (barely but no smut)
i feel like she’s a pretty domestic person, i think she’d prefer quiet nights at home with you as opposed to going out and partying. i imagine her being the one to beg you to stay and do date night at home anytime you suggested getting dinner or seeing a movie.
“but babe why can’t we just stay home?! we have food and plenty of movies here!” she’d whine when you asked “i’ll even make you dinner myself! come on, i jus’ want you all to myself”
on a similar note, i also think she’s not huge on PDA and that’s why she loves staying in with you so much. it’s not that she doesn’t feel comfortable being seen with you, it’s just that she’s kind of reserved and prefers to keep her personal life as private as she can. for her sake and for yours.
which has its perks, don’t get me wrong. you almost prefer it that way, subtle little touches when you’re out with friends or something like that, her hand gently resting on your lower back or her head resting on your shoulder when she gets tired. and then you’d get home, and she wouldn’t be able to help herself anymore. she’d be all over you in an instant.
“fuck,” she pants when you finally walk into your shared apartment for the night. you had been out for your mutual friends birthday, and you unintentionally intentionally decided to wear something fairly revealing “y’know what you do to me? wearing something like that?”
and believe me…she’d make up for the lack of public affection in other ways.
i’d like to think that her love language is acts of service. like she still loves to touch you and validate you and all that lovely girlfriend stuff, but she shows her love in more ways than just words.
she’d often leave you sticky notes on the fridge when you got home later than she did, maybe leave some on your nightstand when she had to leave early in the mornings when you’re still asleep. always leaving an “xoxo C” at the bottom to tell you she’s thinking of you.
not only that, but she’d do a lot of household chores for you when you were busy with school and work, run you relaxing baths when you were sick, or even something so little as running to the supermarket to grab your favorite ice cream when you started your period.
she’d be one of those stereotypical lesbians that just absolutely worships the ground their girlfriend walks on. she never fails to bring you up in conversations and is quite willing to do anything you ask.
one night you’re winding down after a long day, watching tv and painting your nails whilst caroline sits beside you to keep you company. she’s quite honestly not paying attention to what’s playing on the screen at least, rather her eyes are glued to you. she watches the way the lavender lacquer glides across your nail, how your tongue sticks out in conversation and she’s in complete awe of how beautiful you look doing the most mundane things.
“hey caroline?” you asked with a pout.
“yeah baby?” she hums in response, pretending like she wasn’t just watching you like a hawke.
“d’you think you could help me with this hand? i keep messing up”
and she’s already perching herself on the floor in front of you, pulling you into her lap as she grabs the bottle of nail polish to finish painting them.
she’s a snorer. i’m so sure of it. although i don’t think she snores like in a heavy type of way, but instead she lets out light little grumbles here and there.
i can just picture her, face pressed into the pillow, her cheek smushed against the fabric as she sleeps peacefully. her hair is all over the place and her lips are slightly parted. and then to top it all off, as if she couldn’t be any cuter, she lets out the softest snuffs.
definitely has a scrapbook, shoved somewhere deep into her closet, that her mother gifted her. it’d be filled with several baby pictures and photos/drawings from when she was in grade school, hiding it away because she was unbelievably embarrassed for you to see them.
you remembered when her family visited you both when you had finally settled into your place together, her mom bringing the scrapbook as a housing warming gift of some sorts. caroline immediately tried to tuck it away, but you were more than stubborn and demanded that you sit down and look through it.
it’s still one of your favorite memories. laughing with her parents at all the goofy pictures from when she lost her first teeth, when she won her first hockey trophy, and when she graduated high school. you even loved reading all the poems she wrote in middle school english, loved seeing all the ‘1st place” ribbons that her mom neatly taped to the card-stock pages.
you only got to look at it twice since then, kk utterly miserable whenever it was pulled out, but you cherished those pictures more than anything.
she’s probably such a dad in the sense that she pretends to not care about the cheesy reality tv shows you’re into, but then secretly starts getting hooked on it and makes you record each episode so you can watch it together.
“what do you mean lisa called meredith a ‘garbage whore’?” she gasped, running into the living room with a bowl of popcorn in her hands “wait, wait i told you to pause it! i don’t want to miss it!!”
her favorite place to kiss you is definitely your forehead. sure, she loves kissing you everywhere, but there’s something so intimate to her about small forehead kisses.
she never fails to give you one before you both fall asleep, before you leave for work, when you’re sad and need comforting or when you’re so excited and it’s her way of expressing her support. you’d probably get her kiss mark tattooed there if you could.
she often gets overwhelmed with sports and school and family and all sorts of things. she tends to be reserved with her feelings, but you’re the only person she can genuinely open up to. sometimes she comes home from practice with this look on her face, and you can immediately tell that she’s struggling.
most times she doesn’t even want to talk about it, she just wants you to hold her, run your fingers through her hair and tell her it’s all going to be okay.
and she loves to teach you new things. wether that’s teaching you how to skate, how to cook a family dish she always ate as a kid, or how play the games she learned in elementary school, she just wants you to be involved in everything she loves.
you think you love it more than she does. you’d never get over how excited she gets when you ask if you can help her make that ‘dinner she made one time’ or if she’d tell you a funny story from when she was a rebellious teen.
like that one time you were having lunch in the park one summer, sprawled out on a handmade quit atop the freshly cut grass as you laid side by side. you picked mindlessly at the dandelions beside you as you both chatted about each others day.
“you know i used to make those when i was younger?” she spoke, motioning to the flowering weeds “flower crowns, i mean”
“really?” you smiled “no one ever taught me how, i always wished i could though”
i didn’t take long before she was picking some herself and instructing you on how to tangle them together so easily. she took it as serious as she took hockey, determined to make sure you knew how to make a perfect flower crown. it wasn’t really a big deal to you in the long run, but something so important to her was just as important to you.
NSFW (for realsies this time)
getting straight to the point, i don’t think she’s huge on the strap. don’t get me wrong, you both still use it often, but i think she much prefers eating you out or scissoring.
there’s something about the appeal of physically feeling you on her that makes her crazy, a sensation that beats using the strap any day.
she loves it when you bite her or scratch her. it’s a pleasant mix between pleasure and pain and it’s probably her favorite part of intimacy.
she likes to look in the mirror the next day, just before she gets in the shower, to admire the long red marks that stretch along her back. she often teases you about too, but if you ever stop, she’s guiding your hands to her back again.
she’s not as drawn to the marks that your bites leave as much, instead she loves the feelings. when she’s making you feel so so good, so much that you can barely hold it in anymore, that you have to bite down on her shoulder or her bicep to keep yourself grounded. it’s like an ego boost to her, a sign that she fucks you so good that you can’t even function properly.
she’s cocky in bed, i feel like she’s the type to say:
“yeah baby? feels good huh?”
“come on, speak up, i can’t hear you”
or if you’re on top…
“fuck yeah, just like that, making me feel so good baby. keep going…gonna make me come”
a sucker for praise
she loves when you tell her that she’s going a good job, that’s she’s exceeding your expectations each time. she’s a bit of a perfectionist and an over achiever that way, but hey, you’re not one to complain.
whilst she loves fancy lingerie and nice dresses, she folds for you even when you’re in sweats and one of her t shirts.
“really? right now?” you huff as her hands dance up your shirt, massaging your tits roughly. she’s kissing up your neck painfully slow and you can’t help but wonder what’s gotten her so worked up “i look like shit”
“are you kidding?” she scoffs “i’d fuck the shit out of you no matter what you’re wearing, you look so sexy even in this”
i’m a firm believer (maybe this is a self insert but idc!!) that she appreciates all body types, especially a chubbier figure. like she’s absolutely obsessed with your pudgy tummy and your thick thighs, a sucker for how plush and soft your body is. don’t even get her started on those stretch marks of yours…
you’d be lying if you said you didn’t struggle with your body image often, but you never had to be insecure for long when caroline walked into your life. she seized every opportunity to make you see what she saw in you, willing to do whatever it took to prove to you that she loved your body.
“shit, look at you” she moaned, smirking as she watched you on top of her, grinding your wet pussies together. her hands gripped feverishly at your hips, often wandering down to squeeze your thighs. her hands were all over you the entire time, letting you know that she loves every inch of you “so pretty on top of me, i’ll never get sick of lookin’ at you, got it?”
#foreingersgod#lesbian#wlw#kk harvey#kk harvey x reader#caroline harvey#caroline harvey x reader#caroline harvey imagine#women’s hockey#hockey#hockey imagine#women’s hockey x reader#wcbb#wcbb x reader#caitlin clark#caitlin clark x reader#iowa wbb#kate martin x reader#kate martin#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x reader
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It honestly sucks how negative the Incredibox fandom has become as of the last couple days, I feel like I gotta say something about it:
I love Incredibox, I have loved Incredibox, I will continue to love Incredibox. Yes, even Sprunki. Even FIDDLEBOPS. Even Elementibox. I love all of it. No amount of drama, hate, or general negativity will ever ruin it for me.
We all know the issues this fandom is facing right now. I don’t need to repeat it, we all know it. It’s inevitable that one day it will reach a boiling point. This community will crumble very soon. There’s nothing we can do to stop it.
It saddens me whenever I see people say things like: “I want the community to die.” Or “Everyone here sucks.” I consider myself a part of that, and I’m sure a lot of you do too. The sad truth is, when bad people ruin a good thing, they ruin it for everyone. As much as we want to separate ourselves from that, the only way we could is to say we “aren’t part of it anymore.”
So… what can we do? You can’t feasibly and openly be a fan of Incredibox anymore without being associated with a toxic, harsh environment? Here is some advice:
- Stay away from large fandom spaces. This includes Incredibox discord servers with more than a hundred people.
- Refrain from posting about specific dramas or fights that you yourself aren’t a part of. If it doesn’t affect you personally, don’t comment on it. You’re just wasting everyone’s time.
- Almost exclusively talk about it with people who are your friends or who you trust. You don’t know what kinds of people are out there.
- Don’t look at comments. Be it on Scratch, Cocrea, or YouTube, it will never end well. Can’t help it? Disable them. At this point it’s better to be a ‘coward’ than engage with these people. Only enable them if you’re actively looking to start conversation.
- Separate the mod from creator. This is the most important to enjoying Incredibox in my opinion. It seems nowadays every single creator has gotten themselves into controversy, for both valid and invalid reasons. Referring to the second bullet point, if it doesn’t concern you personally, you shouldn’t feel like a bad person for enjoying it.
- Stop treating Sprunki like a disease. We get it, “it’s overrated,” “it’s not even that good!” “It ruined the community!” While those opinions can be warranted in some regard, please remember that this attitude is why what happened to the creator happened.
- Most of all: Be kind. I know it’s hard. We’re angry, we’re scared, we’re sad. But it’s important to know that negativity will only spawn more negativity. Anger and resentment are what’s causing this fandom’s deterioration. Be the bigger person and don’t attack people for no reason.
Though our community is undoubtably “cooked” by now, it won’t last forever. We will get through this.
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This but reader had been put on a different team…https://www.tumblr.com/justkitkatthings/768357089618903040/i-know-this-isnt-possible-but-just-hear-me-out-a
have a great day or night! 💋
I have several thoughts…
Thank you for being my first anon and ilysm
You’re a genius
I’m so so so so very sorry I took so long to answer this! I really wanted to get this done sooner but I’ve had serious writers block (or laziness idk) and just a bunch of personal shit going on, so getting this done is like a belated Christmas/new year’s/birthday present to myself
I can’t promise this’ll be as good as this was, I feel like I used all my good writing abilities up on that haha
Have a great day or night to you too 🩷
———
After losing your leg, you never thought you’d work for anything military affiliated again. Okay, well, maybe as a civilian admin person, but never in the field. But, with a LOT of physical therapy… and mental therapy… and retail therapy… it was like you were as good as new!
So, when Laswell called, you answered. There was an opening in a new Task Force, and they wanted you. You haven’t felt this way since… well, since John, Kyle, and Johnny. But now, they dint have to consume your every living thought. You can begin again.
It wasn’t long before you were on a new base, in a new country, with a new team.
They were all extremely welcoming, albeit different. You had to get used to the change in personalities and strategies, but it was refreshing to get new perspectives on things.
Months of training and bonding with your new team go by, and less contact with the 141. You’ve by no means forgot about them, but you don’t think about them as much anymore. You’re happy, and they need to respect that.
But when have those boys ever been good at leaving you alone? Never. Which is how you end up here, staring them down as your new Captain greets John, the Captain of the team you’ll be working alongside for the next however long.
You can’t stand this. Why couldn’t they just let you have one thing for yourself for ONCE?
The best way to handle this, you decided, was to not. Avoiding them was simple and easy, so you did it.
On the occasions you couldn’t avoid them, like missions, all your interactions were short and professional. There was no hint of the connection you had all shared.
The lieutenant who replaced you was big and stoic, but his was also a dumbass. Sure, it was an improvement in physical strength (which you were definitely NOT jealous of), but it was a loss in stealth and just common fucking sense.
Like, how can this man look you in the eyes and not realize you were his predecessor that the team still talked about? You hate him and his big muscles. Those very same muscles that eventually saved you from losing your other leg.
At first, you were pissed when he pinned you. But then the explosion happened.
There was a loud, obnoxious ringing in your ears, but at least you weren’t passed out, unlike the big oaf on top of you.
John helped pull him off of you and waited with you both until medevac came. Every protest from you was countered by your old Captain. He just wants you to be alright, luvie, relax.
Reluctantly, you did, enough to fall asleep. The first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was the blinding white lights of the hospital. When that faded, you saw John and your new Captain whispering to each other in the corner of the room, sending worried glances… past you? You weakly turned your head to look, and it was Simon, covered in bandages.
#I’m scared of dialogue#I promise there’ll be some next time#sorry for the cliffhanger#posting this before I get on a plane so I don’t have to watch my failure 😔#simon ghost riley x reader#john price x reader#johnny soap mctavish x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#cod#tf 141 x reader#poly 141 x reader
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HELOOOOO UR WORK IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING I LOVED THE CHAN ONE CAN YOU DO LIKE MORE ANGST 9th member LIKE TBH IM OUT OF IDEAS MYSELF MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE THE 9TH MEMBER GETS YELLED AT OR SMTH IM ABSOLUTELY 👍 stupid ANYWAYS U ATE
TY FOR THE REQ LUV!! THIS IDEA IS AMAZINGG
Mistakes
OT8!Skz x 9th member reader (fem implied)
summary- During practice for a solo you keep messing up and everyone keeps yelling at you so you just go off the radar for days until they find you.
Trigger warning- Overworking, Bruises, Crying, Screaming, Use of Noona, cursing and a cliffhanger ( lmk if i missed anything)
You were practicing over and over again. Your body was sore and stiff. You could barely do anything. You tried to move and you collapsed to the ground. The members were watching which made it worse. “Noona you need to take a break-“ “No she doesn’t. The last thing she needs is a break. Get up. Cmon we don’t got all day to watch you goof around” Minho said harshly cutting off Jeongin as Chan agreed. “You should’ve been had this down. Cmon go again.” You shakily tried to stand up but couldn’t and fell back down holding your bruised leg.
“God you can’t even stand?! I’m sorry but what are you even good for? This whole week you’ve been doing nothing right!! You couldn’t sing properly you couldn’t dance right either!! What’s not clicking in your tiny mind that we don’t have all fucking day to watch you fool around?!” Minho snapped and the others expect Han, Felix, Seungmin and Jeongin joined in also scolding you.
Lazy this.
Lazy that.
Lazy. Lazy. Lazy.
“OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” You snapped catching everyone off guard. “Y/N THIS Y/N THAT!! IM FUCKING TRYING!! I AM!! MY LEG IS BRUISED!! I’VE BEEN PRACTICING ALL DAY WHILE BALANCING MY FAMILY ISSUES BUT YOU FOUR OBVIOUSLY DON’T CARE!! I- I HATE ALL OF YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!” As the words leave your mouth you look up to see everyone’s eyes widened in horror. It was definitely too late to go back now.
“..Felix take her home. Everyone go home. Now.” Chan said harshly causing everyone to pack up as Felix helped you up and took you home. He helped you into the shower and into the bed. “Y/n I-“ “Just leave..please..” You said weakly. Felix looked at your tired face and nodded before leaving. The moment he left you began crying loudly screaming how you were nothing and were ungrateful.
3 days had passed and no response from you. You didn’t show up to practice anymore and you didn’t call or text any of the members out of concern they go to your house to see you. Chan took a deep breath before knocking on the door. The door opens and… “I’m sorry I think you have the wrong house.” It was an older lady. Looked about 60-65. The boys looked at each other. “Where’s Y/N?? Y/N L/N?” Chan asked concern oozing throughout his tone. “She’s gone”
.
.
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IM SORRY BUT I FELT LIKE A CLIFFHANGER WAS DEFINITELY NECESSARY!! LMK IF U WANT A PART TWO<3
#skz angst#skz fanfic#bangchan angst#lee know angst#changbin angst#hyunjin angst#han angst#felix angst#seungmin angst#jeongin angst#kpop#fanfic#stray kids#quxyivs
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Go to store
See snack food I want
Buy snack food
Tell myself I will eat it in moderation
Go home
Eat the entire thing in one sitting
Be upset that I failed to eat in moderation
Go to store
See snack food I want
Remember failure to eat in moderation
Do not buy snack food
Go home
Crave snack food
Be upset that I don’t have snack food
Go to store
See snack food I want
Remember craving for snack food
Buy snack food
Tell myself I will eat it in moderation
Go home
Eat the entire thing in one sitting
#the key to good health is all things in moderation#unfortunately I am terrible at moderation#I either have a binge eating disorder or something very similar to it#I physically can’t stop myself when faced with a food I like#sometimes even after the stomach ache sets in#there have been times when the only reason I stopped was a genuine fear of rupturing my stomach#at those times: the second the pain died down I’d start eating again then be surprised when the stomach ache came back#I haven’t gotten to that point in a while now#but I’m still struggling with this vicious cycle of unstoppable cravings#it’s a miracle if I eat a meat or a vegetable on any given day#I pretty much exclusively eat bread and crackers#my only protein is the chocolate protein shake I have each morning#and I mainly drink vitamin water in hopes of making up for vitamins that I’m certain I lack#I don’t want to be like this anymore but I can’t help myself#the mere thought of having to cook is painful#microwaveable meals fucking suck#and I can’t get delivery way out where I live#and almost everything my family cooks is gross to me#so I’m fucked
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It’s disability pride month, and if you are disabled in the U.S. from Long Covid I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re valid in whatever you feel. Whether that’s sorrow at your new problems or rage at society for failing you, you are valid, and it is truly messed up that society is continuing to fail you.
#disability#trauma#chronic illness#long COVID#COVID#Tbh I’m not sure if I have long covid or not but I keep swinging between despair and fury#The brain fog SUCKS#I might have always had it but it feels especially bad now?#And I have all kinds of respiratory problems that got exacerbated#And possibly chronic fatigue but it’s unclear#And I’m one of the lucky ones!!!#I can still exercise without needing three days of bed rest after!#I was so RELIEVED when it turned out I could do that#I did like. Three weeks of breathing rehab to make sure#Not sure if it helped but now I’m not getting post-exertional backlash nearly as much anymore#And I didn’t lose my sense of smell or get my taste messed up#And I don’t need a respirator just an inhaler and some allergy meds and to take frequent breaks#And like. I know so many people have it worse#And that suuuuucks#But EVEN THIS makes me want to scream and rail half the time#Update as of Sept 2024 — this is no longer true#Got Covid again and now I can’t exercise without being too tired to move for three days#🙃#Probably will die mad about this actually#I had SUCH a good time working out one night#But then the next morning#Nope#head-to-toe muscle pain#couldn’t do any chores#Couldn’t even feed myself
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#hplonesome art#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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when i remember the way things went and my stomach starts twisting
#i need to vomit#i desperately need to vomit#i fucking hate myself#guy i hate myself so much it’s not even funny#it hurts so much#i need to cut myself#i want to bleed out#i can’t heal#im so tired of being me#mentally unstable#tw depressing stuff#trauma#i wanna kms#i want to be okay#tw depressing thoughts#mental abuse#mentally tired#depression relapse#this account is a cry for help pls help me#depressing life#help me pls lol#im sorry for being me#what did i do to deserve this#it’s getting bad again#bpd stuff#i don’t want to feel like this anymore#depressing shit#kinda depressing#haha
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In the process of 1.5 hours, so much drama was revealed to me that I’m cancelling my next trip back to my hometown next year.
#Sigh……..#I cut off more than half of the people I knew here and it’s still this messed up??#I need to lie down#But I literally can’t until another full 23 hours from now#Why did I do this to myself#Liveblog count (Lia’s Holiday Trip Home Sunday Edition):#Friendships ended: 1#Friendships repaired: 1 - these guys were salty at each other since June jfc#Flights cancelled: 2#Hours of sleep: 5#Update 2 ->#Therapy sessions given: 1#Therapy sessions received: 1#Update 3 ->#This one was actually pretty relaxing#Hours spent yapping: 9#Update 4 ->#No energy to get into it. But I feel like I needed to go to a self help session or something after that#Update 5 (pure venting) ->#These people want to be involved in my life more so badly but they are only willing to do it on their terms and not mine#You don’t get to have that for free anymore!!#“There was no time to talk” BULLSHIT. There was plenty of time! I even brought up the topic first during lunch!!#To keep acting like this doesn’t exist and only want to talk about it when I’m exhausted and trying to sleep#You picked a time where you know I don’t have the energy to fight back because you’re too scared you’ll say the wrong thing#And I’ll cut you out of my life again
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being so honest I don’t understand how people can expect you to be doing things constantly every single day. I’m supposed to be on summer break but my university expects me to send in 80 sources for my senior thesis by next week
the very thought of doing school work right now makes me want to cry. I can’t even open a blank document and start writing for my own fics. I can’t even engage in my own hobby right now because I’m so mentally exhausted. how can you expect me to do thesis work? I’ve hardly had a break since finals
my personal life has been an ongoing shitshow since last summer. and has only gotten worse in recent months. how can you expect someone to function in society when you throw one thing after another at them?
I’m so tired and done. but I have no choice other than pushing through it because that’s what’s expected of me! that’s exhausting
#delete later#sorry I’m really frustrated rn#and screaming into the void is a better solution than keeping it bottled up#I really want to disappear rn#I’m not finding enjoyment from the things I love any more#I physically can’t bring myself to write#I’ve been stuck in this survival state since winter#everything feels so bad and overwhelming#I think I need a break or something#I don’t know#I don’t know what’ll help anymore#I don’t know what’ll make me feel better#I just want to cry#all the time#I miss writing. I miss being proud of what I wrote#I miss when I would be able to post something and I was happy with it#when I didn’t feel like I had to rewrite it over and over#I miss feeling like myself#lately I’ve just… felt like a stranger in my own body#going through the motions of life#and y’know what fuck I miss feeling like I was cared for#and loved#but I’m Me so yknow. I don’t get that#maybe I should take a nap
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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riding a wave of depression to the end of the worst year of my life and realizing that there’s not really anyone i feel safe confiding in… cool, cool, very cool…
#i don’t really have anything to say anyway…#i just feel bad. because things have been bad#it’s pretty simple#i’ve given far more of myself than i think ever existed in the first place and i feel hollow and broken#and all i want is a job offer on the other side of the country so i can run away to a safe place and heal myself#but i’m not getting that until January at the earliest and February or March more likely…#so until then i just have to keep applying for more and going through the motions of life#i am truly BANKING on my ‘winter break’ to make me feel better#bc i feel sooooooo bad rn#i don’t wanna do anything or talk to anybody#but i have to do bird counts all weekend#so no rest for me until Monday#and on Monday i have to help my friend with shit and hang out#and i don’t WANT to hang out#i don’t want to see anyone - i can’t do this anymore#John Darnielle really knew what he was doing when he titled a song ‘No I Can’t.’ with the comma and period included#cuz like. exactly!#NO!!!!!!! I CAN’T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#(and yet i keep going on like everything is fine)#(haha)#i’m not dying don’t worry#i will be fine once i can TRULY rest#this has just been the worst year of my life and i am grappling with that#and the vast unknowns of the future
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i won’t hold people to the same standards i have on myself in terms of friendship bc everyone shows they care in different ways
#this is a part affirmation and part intro to a rant i need to unleash#but i’ll leave it in the tags here bc it feels safer lol#it’s abt my housemate the other day when we had our last class which is online but our previous classes were in person so as a class we#usually just pull it up on the main computer and broadcast the zoom in the classroom#but on this day the class before this zoom class got out early so lots of people went home early to just watch it on their own zoom or wtvr#so the row i sit in was pretty empty except for me my housemate and our two friends#and usually my housemate sits on my right but she got up and moved to sit on the other side next to our other friend and said nothing#and i didn’t want to say anything bc i was kinda sad/offended even though#her moving seats probably has nothing to do with me and much rather her personal preference i can’t help but think negatively abt myself#also one morning we were both off she went to the smoothie shop and coffee shop and just went to pick up her orders and i felt the same#reaction of like sad/offended bc she didn’t consider me at al like what if i wanted a smoothie too! TF#or coffee even though i don’t drink coffee anymore wtvr#my thoughts on her and my friendship are kinda rocky bc we feel so out of sync#i feel like she’s always in her own world and it’s hard to get through to her and become real friends#it’s whatever not all friendships can be deep and meaningful
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I am now officially a whole two decades old
Everybody congratulate me on my two decades
#venting in tags#every birthday#I remember when I told my sister#when she asked me what I wanted to do for my (thirteenth? I think) birthday#and I said kill myself#I did not want to reach my teens#I was genuinely terrified of getting older#still am#because it meant that I had completely wasted another year#no normal teenage activity’s#no learning to drive#no proms or other dances#no first kiss#I’ve had only one friend since I was around 12 or so that I only talk to every few months#because I started pushing my childhood best friend away because being around her made me insecure and feel like I was immature and stupid#she was the only friend I had and she had so many#I remember feeling horrible for myself at her birthday party’s being surrounded by her school friends#and feeling like I wasn’t real#not a real person not a normal kid#like I was stupid immature and like she only spent time with me out of pity#I still feel most of theses things to be honest and it’s so embarrassing#being around people my age makes me feel so embarrassed#even with people younger then me#I was homeschooled and neglected if it wasn’t obvious#I’m so fucking insecure over everything#and im so embarrassed that I can’t even blame my parents anymore#I’m twenty I should have figured this shit out years ago#but maybe they should have fucking helped me#I’m so fucking embarrassed being alive#I don’t feel like a real person when I’m around other people like I’m walking on eggshells and everyone else is flying or something
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Real Friends Don’t Exist. Not In My Reality, anyway.
#mental health#mental health awareness#all alone#no one wants me#fake friends#no one likes me#blog#fake people#depression#mentally unstable#alone#zero friends#I have no one#real friends don’t exist#this is my fate#can’t carry this anymore#sad and pathetic#sick of being here#sick of myself#I’ve got no one#even a therapist doesn’t want to help me#life isn’t for everyone#I have no support#unwanted#unliked#hated#mentally ill#trying to survive this world#my reality is nothing#god must hate me
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