#I don’t recognize myself anymore

[generic-whumperz]

Finish character sheets? Work on masterlist post which is an absolute dumpster fire rn? Edit the several already started and unfinished chapters? Naaa.

Start new chapter? Fuck yeah boiiii! 🤘

[froegs]

augghhh I’m hitting such a wall in my life and have been spiraling so so so so so so so much my meds are barely doing anything and when I start to spiral and freak out and worry that I’m not doing enough I think of Shigeo kageyama. And life is ok.

[aeonsredemption]

i wish i could see myself for how i rly look. i want to know if im ugly or not cause i literally cannot tell what the fuck i look like. i see myself in pictures n i look hideous, but in the mirror n in other pics im so pretty like a cute little bunny rabbit. driving me insane.

[loverssunlight]

my life has changed in drastic ways in these past couple months and especially in this past week everything feels too good to be true

[quietwingsinthesky]

the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?

to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.

[luna-the-shark4254]

Ever love a character so much that you start going by their name and start using hir pronouns as your own and start asking for a bunch of charic genders based off hir and you basically just want to BE hir?

[angelstrawbabie420]

im so fucked LMFAO ive really done it

[nastytransmasc]

I think I’ve realized that if you get sober enough for long enough, you just end up remembering why you said yes to drugs in the first place

[lookedinfinite]

𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘: // tag dump: relationships

𝗥𝗘𝐈𝐈𝐆𝗡𝐎𝗡𝐌𝐄: // between the different shades of you.  [ Luke & Maeve ]

𝗥𝗘𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐈𝗕𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐎𝗡𝐒: // a dangerous hope.  [ Hotch & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝗥𝐈𝐔𝐒𝗩𝐎𝐈𝐓: // change your taste in men.  [ Elias & Maeve ]

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝗘𝐃𝐒𝐓𝐀𝗥𝐒: // but trauma is immortal and none of this is your fault.  [ Jami & Maeve ]

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝗘𝐃𝐒𝐓𝐀𝗥𝐒: // but I keep coming back this must be serious.  [ Kiwi & Maeve ]

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝗘𝐃𝐒𝐓𝐀𝗥𝐒: //  been in pain but not a quitter.  [ Savannah & Maeve ]

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝗘𝐃𝐒𝐓𝐀𝗥𝐒: // the only thing sure from the start.  [ Jill & Maeve ]

𝗗𝗔𝗡𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗜𝗜𝗦𝗠: // remember the fire remember her face.  [ Carol & Maeve ]

𝗕𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗦𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗦𝗢𝗙𝗔𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: // all those wonders sit in wait.  [ Kurt & Maeve ]

𝐂𝐇𝐋𝗢𝗘𝗩𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑: // wake me up before I’m gone.  [ Chloe & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐆𝐀𝗭𝐄𝐑𝐒: // at my own funeral I don’t recognize myself anymore.  [ Xandra & Maeve ]

𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓: // many moons of waiting on a steady sun.  [ Clara & Maeve ]

𝐘𝐎𝐀𝐊𝐊𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐄: // separation’s all that can save us love.  [ Spencer & Maeve ]

𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐈𝐒𝐌: // I need you to tell me I’m worthy.  [ Ray & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃𝐏𝐀𝗦𝗧: // it's not the life you thought you'd live.  [ Peter & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐀𝗧𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐒: // if you’re lonely can’t you speak love.  [ Felix & Maeve ]

𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐓 𝐏𝐔𝐓𝐍𝐀𝐌: // the touch of his hands were as cold as his eyes.  [ Bobby & Maeve ]

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝗘𝐃𝐒𝐓𝐀𝗥𝐒: // it's like I heard your heartbeat call.  [ Bethany Elliott ]

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝗘𝐃𝐒𝐓𝐀𝗥𝐒: // give my soul just to see your face.  [ Oliver Elliott ]

𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐈𝗗: // I'm a long way from home now.  [ Spencer & Maeve ]

𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐇𝗙𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆: // between comfort and chaos.  [ Ruby & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐇𝐑𝗙𝐋𝐀𝐖 // let me in the river.  [ Law & Maeve ]

[athetos]

Okay this is something that has taken me years to come to terms with and I just need to get off my chest especially since im not in therapy anymore and honestly only a few close friends know this but talking about it is still hard and I want to be able to better forgive myself and get rid of some of the internalized shame that plagues me because of this, and like, just be more comfortable admitting this fact to myself so I can better heal from it. And I know it’s also triggering to a lot of people so I never feel like it’s ever appropriate to discuss I should have a therapist again maybe sometime. But I’m gonna just say it and maybe delete this later. But I’m a rape + abuse survivor and it’s took me years to even “unlock” this trauma and properly process it. I’ve come a long way but idk I just wanted to get this off my chest because it’s been aching to come out but I also don’t wanna burden people.

[cloverkingsmith]

“she used to talk a lot about you, you know.”

“oh?”

“yeah. she really did love you.”

[whentherewerebicycles]

.

[kaiisers]

well, this is… likely unnecessary lol, since I don’t interact with anyone on here anymore (my fault for sure 🤡), but still there’s something pushing me to do this, so, here goes

it pains me to say, but this blog will no longer be active, as I’ve decided to move to a brand new one where i hope I can enjoy being on this app, and enjoy reading and not feeling like shit.

this blog has long stopped feeling like my safe space, my cozy/messy little reading corner, and… idk, I’m kind of in a funk right now that has left me feeling like… I’m not welcome here??? which is weird but I’ve been told those are remnants of my past so 🤡 we love that feeling 🤡 n e ways, the queue will still be running, everything will still be up since I don’t have the patience to actually transfer everything into my new blog, so maybe I’ll occasionally pop in… but that’s doubtful. if by any chance anyone reads this (and this far lol) and wants to follow me on my new blog, feel free to comment and I’ll be sure to send you the url :)

I’ll always be thankful for the people I met here and for being nice despite my awkwardness, and for making me come back here even when I felt like I didn’t deserve to.

love, vee <3

main pinned

[liesandbrokenhearts]

[crybaby-bkg]

anzai from devils line fic WHEN………

I’ve been writing so much about the Blond™️ that I haven’t taken the time to branch off and write for different fandoms again!!! I did it the summer of ‘21 and it was a nice break from exclusively writing for bnha and I wanna do it again

writing for pretty dead fandoms is a little suckish bc you don’t get as much interaction bc……no one is there lmfao but it’s worth it getting the thoughts down and having someone tell me that they’re glad they found that very obscure idea for an unpopular character lol

[placeinthisworld]

.