#𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓: // many moons of waiting on a steady sun. [ Clara & Maeve ]

[lookedinfinite]

starter call | @venturousheart

"we look... really young."  they have lived so long,  long since past what any sentient being should ever have to. long enough that - despite all of maeve's wishes, or preferences  -  they have all left their marks on history.  maeve had perhaps tried the hardest to remain faceless:  changing names as often as she could,  running from the myths left in her wake.  when she was alive, all she craved was permanence, for those around her to want her to stay.

now that she was endless, not putting down roots seemed the best way to avoid making too much damage whenever she was torn away.

still her body stayed stiff, tense as she sat on bench, eyes on painting on museum wall. a lost treasure, it had been advertised as... one maeve had truly thought destroyed.  "for once they didn't try to claim it's a man's work. or that we- the girls are 'gal pals'." thumb gently brushed over wife's knuckles, "when did I paint that? our... hundredth anniversary? it was before the flood."

[doctordonovan]

❝ i'll make us breakfast. ❞

early morning jog still seems to cling to her,   cold air tangled in curls as she ducks down to press little kiss to top of other's hair,  leaning over back of couch and lingering as gentle fingers brush locks out of way.  ❝ I didn't wake you when I headed out,  did I? ❞   it's a new thing:  learning a balance between old habits  &&   increasingly having someone there.  ( it's nice.   a surprising little fact.   she likes how often @venturousheart is here,  how apartment has become more and more a shared space. )

perhaps,  in the end,   being more than temporary isn't so bad.

❝ I can help,  if you'd like.  two hands are better than one. ❞   fingers squeeze clara's shoulders all the same,  finally stepping back to actually take dark windbreaker off.  ❝ not to brag, but I make great crêpes.  truly you'd be missing out,  I even have sugar and lemons in. ❞

[phdiism]

𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘: // tag dump: relationships

[lookedinfinite]

life had never been kind to her. but was it ever truly kind to anyone?  not to the gentle ones - not to the ones smart enough to see through all the layers.  clara's smile is... everything, breaking through the clouds own mind is so foggy with.  "funny, you've always struck me as the kind who knows most things."  other is enough. enough to make some shred in her find faith, enough that she sees the appeal of honey and prayers. enough that just maybe - just this once - she doesn't need to be so frightened of how she'll survive another brutal fall.  so her thumb brushes over other's hand, making no effort to break the contact first, "I appreciate it. your ability to believe in me, I mean." 

@ventureheart

What a tragedy. What a crime has been done to the beautiful woman in front of Clara to think like she does. Maeve has such a painful certainty to her words, and Clara has to stop herself from being too visibly affected by it. She blinks a few times and smiles, all sun. She doesn't release Maeve's hand. "Has no one ever told you?" She steps closer. "No one's beyond hope, not even you. And nothing is impossible. I've seen too much for that." There's a warm glimmer in her eyes. "I have faith in you, Maeve. And I believe in you. Like the stars believe in the night to show them. Nothing is gonna shake that. I don't know everything, but I know that much."

[lookedinfinite]

𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘: // tag dump: relationships

𝗥𝗘𝐈𝐈𝐆𝗡𝐎𝗡𝐌𝐄: // between the different shades of you.  [ Luke & Maeve ]

𝗥𝗘𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐈𝗕𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐎𝗡𝐒: // a dangerous hope.  [ Hotch & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝗥𝐈𝐔𝐒𝗩𝐎𝐈𝐓: // change your taste in men.  [ Elias & Maeve ]

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒: // but trauma is immortal and none of this is your fault.  [ Jami & Maeve ]

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒: // but I keep coming back this must be serious.  [ Kiwi & Maeve ]

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒: //  been in pain but not a quitter.  [ Savannah & Maeve ]

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒: // the only thing sure from the start.  [ Jill & Maeve ]

𝗗𝗔𝗡𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗜𝗜𝗦𝗠: // remember the fire remember her face.  [ Carol & Maeve ]

𝗕𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗦𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗦𝗢𝗙𝗔𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: // all those wonders sit in wait.  [ Kurt & Maeve ]

𝐂𝐇𝐋𝗢𝗘𝗩𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑: // wake me up before I’m gone.  [ Chloe & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐆𝐀𝗭𝐄𝐑𝐒: // at my own funeral I don’t recognize myself anymore.  [ Xandra & Maeve ]

𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓: // many moons of waiting on a steady sun.  [ Clara & Maeve ]

𝐘𝐎𝐀𝐊𝐊𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐄: // separation’s all that can save us love.  [ Spencer & Maeve ]

𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐈𝐒𝐌: // I need you to tell me I’m worthy.  [ Ray & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃𝐏𝐀𝗦𝗧: // it's not the life you thought you'd live.  [ Peter & Maeve ]

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐀𝗧𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐒: // if you’re lonely can’t you speak love.  [ Felix & Maeve ]

𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐓 𝐏𝐔𝐓𝐍𝐀𝐌: // the touch of his hands were as cold as his eyes.  [ Bobby & Maeve ]

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒: // it's like I heard your heartbeat call.  [ Bethany Elliott ]

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒: // give my soul just to see your face.  [ Oliver Elliott ]

𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐈𝗗: // I'm a long way from home now.  [ Spencer & Maeve ]

𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐇𝗙𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆: // between comfort and chaos.  [ Ruby & Maeve ]

[doctordonovan]

❝ did you just expect me to keep my distance? ❞

expect?  no,  not really.   hope for?   perhaps.  her adoration for other isn't enough  -   it never could be.  what power can a single moment ever hold when it's being compared to eternity,   to the endless planets that call the other's name and pray for her aid?    it's too much.  to think she could ever be more than a drop to the ocean to @venturousheart.  ( and yet.  and yet there's the way simple observation whispers,  then speaks,  then screams at her that she's letting a lifetime of issues blind her to an undeniable truth. )

she cares about clara…  and clara cares for her.  ❝ I don't know. ❞   at least she's being honest,  dark eyes looking everywhere  &&   anywhere but at other.  ❝ you're stubborn and hard to predict.  but I also didn't leave any honey at an altar to ring you. ❞   old joke comes back up,  a reminder of early meetings and early crush. 

[doctordonovan]

❝ you're so beautiful like this. ❞

❝ like this?   so there are times you do not find me beautiful? ❞   compliments have never sat easily:  a foreign tongue when the topic is anything other than intelligence or work.   it was not how she was raised   -  and maybe it just isn't in her nature to believe there are positives within own skin.   yet @venturousheart means it.  she adores other too much to do her the insult of doubting the truth in her words, of rejecting sentiment that flows straight from golden heart.    ( whether clara is correct,  or not,  doesn't matter.  )   instead she takes time to push unruly curls from around own features,  to pause what she's doing to press tender kiss to other's lips.

breakfast can wait,  it won't burn in the few seconds it takes to let noze brush against clara's cheek.

❝ how long until you need to head off again?   andy will have my head if I steal you away too long. ❞   eternity is too much,  far too much,  for any being...  except for when she's with clara.  it is only in moments like these where it's just them - where they are timeless and reunited - that eternity doesn't feel like anywhere near enough.  ❝ I'm making your favourite.  if you have to rush off I will hold a grudge for at least a decade,  do you hear me? ❞

[doctordonovan]

❀    ||      Claeve x Fleabag [ insp. ] || feat. @venturousheart

[doctordonovan]

©    ||      send me “ soundtrack ” and i’ll tell you the song that plays when ours muses are on screen together. | feat. @venturousheart

[doctordonovan]

❀    ||      closed starter    ||     @venturousheart​

 the promise had never needed to be verbalised.     no,    it had been written in a hundred implications,    a thousand half-had conversations    -    and in truth,    more than countless glances.    clara has always made it clear she will come when maeve needs her    (  and maeve has always avoided the thought,    has tried to not linger on the overwhelming weight of such a thing   ).    how terrible it must be after all:    to be so very powerful,    so eternal,    yet unable to rewrite the universe into letting people simply be safe.

 it was easier to believe it was just clara's general state of being...   caring for others beyond and rhyme or reason.     ❝   I appreciate the help, truly,  but you can stop frowning at me.   ❞   sighed words come with usual careful gentleness,    ignoring how very bones ache with how much of a close call recent hours had proven themselves to be.    ❝   I'm barely even hurt,    it's a win all around.   ❞

[doctordonovan]

❝ just stay here with me… by my side.  ❞

there's no need for more than this:   for more than the gentle encouragement to remain in spot, some ancient sentry left behind to stand guard as wife finally rests heavy eyes.  ( there is so much time,  and even with eternity in their veins,  maeve has never been much of a sleeper.  )  it's rare for any of them to have a full night without nightmares,  without the things that haunt them pulling on their sleeves threatening to sink them too deep in ocean to ever find their ways home. 

instead, she kisses the top of @venturousheart's head,  voice low and adoring.  ❝ I'll be right here, I promise.   let me keep an eye on world as you rest. ❞ she's no warrior - but for clara,  she will make exceptions for every rule.  gentle hand continuing rubbing wife's back, tracing patterns as she stares at dark walls in temporary bedroom.  ❝ sleep,  love.   it's too late for my sun to be up,  you can rise with the new day. ❞

[doctordonovan]

❝ We'll face the storm together, okay? ❞

it's one thing after another, one storm after endless storm.  she's seen it on embroidered cushions - on the mass produced art of this era - 'this too shall pass' or 'after every storm is a rainbow'. those promises that suffering is for a reason,  that there will always be some kind of beauty in the midst of loss. they've lived too long to believe that, to have hope that there will always be a reason, that there will always be some good. yet they've also lived too long to believe such things can ever be avoided. 

it's a constant, repetitive, circle of existence. the same mistakes coming around and around until all have been marked.

❝ you're my light in every darkness, @venturousheart. ❞ if this era too, like so many others, must burn to ash... maeve is glad to have wife by her side. ❝ and as with all the storms before, I'm happy to be the moon to your radiant rays. ❞

[doctordonovan]

[CARE] The sender prepares a warm cup of tea for the receiver to soothe their nerves.

maeve has,  for as long as she can remember,   avoided being fussed over.  at first it wasn't a choice:  foster families were quick and temporary,  she was either a paycheck or about to be severely disappointed at the 'damaged goods' they'd been given.  by the time the donovans fostered her  -   in the two years before they decided to adopt her  -   the lesson had been learnt.  as long as brunette has a purpose,  a true use,  people will be willing to make space for her.  it's when that purpose is removed that she should leave before she's sent away.

perhaps she'll never get used to @venturousheart's affection,  clara's undying and unrelenting love.

❝ thank you.  but really,  I'm fine. ❞   closed,  dark spaces don't exactly agree with her anymore. especially when there's no logic to cling to - no distractions.  she's fine,  or at very least… she survived.   things go wrong no matter where they are, but tragedy seems all the more likely in space.  ❝ thank you.  for coming, I mean. ❞   as hard as maeve might try to play fine:  she's not naive enough to not be aware a second or two later,  and she'd have been little more than a crushed memory.

[doctordonovan]

❝ when did it start raining? ❞

it's been hours:  hours since other fell asleep leant against her arm,  since furious sky finally opened and began to release all it had been holding back.    ( she's been the restless sort her entire life,  so what harm will it do for another night spent watching world rather than joining it or properly leaving?  )   @venturousheart came to her for company  &&   maeve has never been the kind to turn anyone she cares for away,  still gently rubbing other's back even as she stirs and mumbles soft question.

❝ a couple of hours. ❞   answer is as quietly uttered as light hammering outside window echoes in apartment,  eyes firmly set on watching little chunks of hail bounce off the cars below.   it's never dark enough in city to not be able to see,  and world continues spinning on around them,  ❝ it's about two.  you seemed like you needed the rest. ❞

[doctordonovan]

❝ i did a number on your back. sorry about that. ❞ (she isn't sorry)

somehow,  obvious lie gets a laugh.  warm,  vibrant,  painted with true amusement even if she doesn't even hesitate in the way brown eyes glance at clara and clearly label words as an utter untruth.  ❝ we made vows to be entirely honest with each other,  my darling. ❞   immortal teases gently,  finishing pulling on discarded top before twisting back on bed to press lingering kiss to wife's lips.  

were the world less messy,  if they had a little less weight on their shoulders, it would be nice to have more tender little moments like this.

still fingers brush back other's dark hair, pressing little kisses to clara's shoulder.  ❝ I actually think you're rather smug about it. ❞   maeve jokes instead -   a mock accusation marked by leaning up to kiss her,  only to shift back at the very last moment.  ❝ such mischief shouldn't be rewarded. ❞

[doctordonovan]

❝ the word ‘love’ can’t even scratch the surface of what i feel for you.  ❞

love is,  in the end,   all brunette had ever wanted.  it's a fact she's labelled as pathetic a thousand times over years:   all the times she's been told how it's one of her biggest weaknesses.    ( to be wanted is new,  and maybe she'll never get used to it.  )   to be loved is...  surreal,  utterly impossible.  and yet here they are,   the words that come from @venturousheart not dripping in the same honey used to entrap her in the past,  but instead they're so raw they can only be described as true.

they're true and maeve has no idea what to do with finally being handed the one thing she has been asking for since drawing first breath.

so there's no true answer to be given.  clara knows maeve loves her too:  brunette tells her in every touch, in every glance, in every tenderly stolen laugh or joke.   she has been writing her response for too long already without it ever needing a word.  so this answer must remain the same  -   leaning in,  focussing on kissing goddess rather failing them both in trying to find anything in any dictionary that might shatter under the weight of what they both feel.