#sobriety…ish lol

[nastytransmasc]

I think I’ve realized that if you get sober enough for long enough, you just end up remembering why you said yes to drugs in the first place

[bitch-butter]

at long last..........it's Lala's villain season

[sgiandubh]

Anon rebelde.

Menudo giro de guion para las antis, Sam y Cait juntos en un evento para fans donde no están obligados por Starz a participar, ya sabes, ese tipo de eventos con dinero de por medio que sus acérrimas fans siempre han afirmado que Cait no hace porque ella no es de esa clase de engañabobos como es Sam, siempre pensando en como hacer caja a costa de los bolsillos del fandom. Con eso demuestran que ya han pasado página de un fandom tóxico y empeñado en hacerlos parecer menos que compañeros de trabajo para hacer lo que les place, nadie haría ascos a una Venecia carnavalesca, sacándoles de paso ese dedo medio que tan bien saben utilizar y que creo que de aquí en adelante van a usar mucho más.

Dear (returning) Anon Rebelde,

Una vez más, llego muy tarde a responder a tu interesantísimo comentario. Sin embargo, esta vez, me atrevo a decir que lo hice por buenas razones: simplemente, encontré tu comentario provocativamente alentador. Me hizo pensar aún más en el asunto de Venecia, sobre el que ya se han mencionado muchas cosas. Sin embargo, faltaba algo, y ese algo es una perspectiva cultural más amplia. Pero, antes que nada, traduzcamos lo que me enviaste:

'What a plot twist for the antis, Sam and Cait together at a fan event where they are not forced by Starz to participate, you know, those kinds of events involving money her Stans have always claimed Cait doesn't do, because she's not that kind of con artist like Sam, always thinking about how to make money at the expense of the fandom's pockets. With that they show that they have already turned the page on a toxic fandom bent on making them look less than coworkers, and do whatever they like to do. Nobody would turn down a carnivalesque Venice, and they chose this giving the fandom that middle finger they know how to use so well, and that I think they will use a lot more from now on.'

Everything you wrote, dear Anon Rebelde, and then some more. If I weren't one of their favorite targets, I could even feel #sorry for this entire bunch of #silly people, who are now legitimately freaking out in public silence and inbox mischief. All of this just because their basic, binary tropes (S is a cheap scammer, C is an intangible saint) are seemingly being shaken to the core by what yes, is a very interesting and ironic plot twist. Granted, this is still an OL-ish related event, but it is just not your usual sort of event (a con, a panel, a promo-related interview) and it happens just as shooting is now completely over. It will be very difficult for all those people who are probably dumbfounded (and not in a good way) by this, to forget they were barking with great confidence no later than last week, that S and C will NEVER DO ANYTHING ELSE TOGETHER, that SHE WAS WAY OVER OL AND THAT PEASANT, that HE WILL DISAPPEAR INTO ALCOHOLIC OBLIVION AND SHE WILL OH, THE PLACES SHE'LL GO ON HER OWN. It turns out the opposite seems to happen and it goes to show spitting upwards is never a great idea, lest it would land on your own head. Therefore, we are met with a lot of sobriety and zero comments on those Mordorian outlets: when it's inconvenient - minimize, minimize, minimize and hope for better days (hooker, Tracula, Alphabet Fitness Harem, Orange Influencer, Brazilian fan with an agenda, etc).

Granted, this is not 'fair Verona', but literary tropes are very powerful and magic, like that, and it is almost impossible not to think about what happened there, 'when ancient grudge broke to new mutiny' (I hope I remember it correctly, as I write this). In other words, it is impossible not to think about the ballo in maschera at the Capulet's mansion, even if the official theme of the event is (oh, the irony!) Casanova's Venice (half of Mordor has no idea who that fine gentleman was, LOL). It also goes without saying the entire thing will probably look rather like Baz Luhrmann's interpretation...

... than the very aesthetically pleasing, but totally stiff Zeffirelli version:

Granted, this is happening in the context of the (nowadays) very touristy Venetian carnival, a horrific hullaballoo few people, snobbery put aside, really and honestly enjoy. But it is exactly the irony of this that seemed perhaps the most important of it all. In a form of poetic justice, the pretext is Carnival, that almost ridiculous, nonsensical, borrowed time of collective foolishness. You'd even be tempted to not think twice, yet there is nothing more dead serious and subversive than Carnival itself, and it has been like this since the Roman Saturnalia feast, when slaves turned into masters and masters into slaves, if only for a crazy day. Its deep meaning is not really about allowing freeform fornication in dark alleys and a brief respite before the long, austere dullness of Lent. Its deep meaning is, perhaps above anything else, about a giant, collective middle finger to what is perceived as oppressive, absurd and coercing authority. Since I suppose those fine minds across the street never read Bakhtin's Rabelais and His World, where everything is explained with luminous clarity, they will have to either believe me or shite over the same inbox you sent your comment to, first thing in the morning. Sometimes, truth seeps through chaos. Sometimes, things are not what they seem to be. Oh, the irony!

I am not even saying SC are aware of the...uhm... metaphorical implications of their choice to attend a rather profitable event. I am pretending to even ignore the fact that at such events, the invited co-presenters or hosts are, more often than not, real life couples, too. All I am saying (since apparently I have to thoroughly, boringly explain absolutely everything I write) is that this tiny coincidental detail gave me pause and a contented chuckle.

And with all this, I still haven't watched that Paley panel. Will do, in reasonable time. Thank you for dropping by, Anon Rebelde - it is always a stimulating pleasure.

[evita-shelby]

🔴 Red- What is a trait your OC has that those around them don't see very often? Is it seen by a rare few or completely overlooked? 🟡 Yellow- What is something your OC wants but knows they can never have? How does it feel to never get this specific desire? For Eva, please!

Thanks lauren 😘 🖤🖤

Red: people actually forget that Eva is capable of evil(and violence) and that she can be scarier than the guy she is paired with if you piss her off lol

Tommy has seen it once, in the og fic and has wisely never brought it up again. Jack took her to murder the American soldiers who killed her parents as their second date. And Luca kinda wins his vendetta because she drove Tommy to suicide by making him kill Lizzie, getting mrs ross to avenge her son by killing arthur and convincing him his family was turning against him all the while luca picked them off like flies.

Eva chooses to be good-ish because when she goes dark, there is no line she won't cross.

Yellow: eva desperately wants to be normal lol.

She was born to a filthy rich family with psychic abilities that manipulated the government and the economy for centuries in mexico, was baptized by the pope and was born in the sistine chapel, during a dictatorship that led to a 20 year revolution. Had her childhood home pillaged by american soldiers in the occupation of veracruz of 1914, was a political hostage for a week a year before that, became an Adelita(soldadera/female member of the army) in pancho villas army at 16, spying on the dictator while dating his son at age 21 (and havibg a secret romance with antonia who was engaged to her cousin)then was smuggled out of mexico 6 months into her house arrest(and forced sobriety)for treason which led to her meeting tommy in small heath while taking care of her senile romani grandma. Or in other fics, married a gangster she met once at the opera(luca) or was arranged to marry a millionaire for a green card after desecrating a confessional(jack)

Absolutely nothing in her life is normal amd she'd kill to be a normal person for a day atleast

[lungfuls]

Women's sobriety literature and media so often seems to focus on alcohol & sobriety in social situations, like the problem mainly being the social element, and it's very unrelatable for me. Even when I did other drugs, including ones like MDMA, I'd eventually end up doing them alone in my room more often than not. I'm very loser-ish about drug use. Because I'm generally loserish lol

[lover-praxis]

welcome <3

basics: gale | they/she | 20

studyblr, fandom blog, archive, journal, &c because i needed a place to scream into the void with relative anonymity

studyblr: tagged #academia

junior in undergrad. double major in chemistry & public health. based in philly. currently in pediatric infectious diseases research. questioning pre-med? 3 months sober and talking about sobriety as a college student! (tagged #sobriety if that is triggering content.)

fandom: tagged #fandom

oh god. screamed into the void for heartstopper s2 and then for the rwrb film in early august which is likely how i gained most if not all of my followers/mutuals (hi folks). current themes of brainrot: heartstopper, rwrb, grishaverse, marauders, aos, mcu up to 2021 (lmao). all tagged appropriately but also generally tagged if you don't want to see my fandom screaming.

archive: tagged #currently reading #currently looking #archive

currently reading for essays / poetry / literature / anything words, really. currently looking for art. archive for misc (personality quiz/uquiz results mostly).

journal: tagged #gale's journal

personal stuff / experiences / screaming into the void. i also use #vent for stuff i think is kind of negative? i don't particularly like to talk explicitly or graphically about sensitive stuff in my life, but cw tags would be used accordingly.

&c: tagged #general

such as this post! sorry for not making sideblogs lol, i honestly kind of forgot how to use tumblr after not really being on the site for two-ish years. like the queue? idk her anymore. uhhhh asks / dms always open but keep it classy. mwah <3

[xdarkabyssx]

Yeah fuck 5 ish years of relative sobriety I'm gonna relapse a little why the fuck not what's the worst that can happen lol xD fuck

[trilliath]

ok so without having done an exhaustive listing of every single outfit in every episode lolol, I think most of those I can remember seem to fit in that threatened/uncomfortable category (to varying degrees of severity)

like, in S3-E13 he wears that heathered maroon-ish brown tee at the beginning when he's starting confident albeit worried about TK getting his feet under himself again with his sobriety, and then later that more peachy-tan one where he's having trouble with his own jealousy/feeling inadequate in relation to Cooper & TK. And then we see late in the episode when he's realizing he's been wrong and is getting his head back in the game putting his fears aside to prioritize TK he's back in brownish maroon. Still scared for TK but he's moving back towards that secure and confident foundation.

That one properly orange shirt I think we've only seen once? (idk sometimes it's hard to tell with lighting changes) But he wears that after TK brings Lou the lizard home, in the scene where the lizard goes climbing onto his shoulder and him comedically freaking out, so I'd say that's like - in the brown family but with brightness for comedy? lol.

He wears that peachy-tan color shirt again, or a similar one when they announce their engagement to their friends, so I think that's a happy nervous but still - given his history of feeling like he needs to fly under the radar to family around his sexuality, he might feel a little insecure about drawing attention to this big gay milestone. But tbh that might be a reach, and it seemed like an odd costuming choice to me regardless of my pet theory here.

And i know somewhere in the S4 episodes with the wedding planning getting out of control he wears that tan buttonup - it's not serious, but he is uncomfortable with the situation.

I haven't rewatched everything with this lens though lolol so I'm sure there are plenty of other examples I'm not thinking of! What do you think?

oh dear god i've gone so deep into a ship again that I'm now having feelings around the emotional significance and symbolism of different clothing colors and anyway Green is for heart-on-his-sleeve Carlos being incredibly vulnerable but still brave enough to follow his (fragile, battered) heart (usually towards TK). Maroon is for when he's secure and confident in his love, sometimes to the point of being mischievous little brat. Grey is for focus and intensity and protectiveness. Brown is for when he's feeling threatened or uncomfortable. Blue is for happiness (light blue is flirty-happy). This is a completely reasonable thing to be spending my evening thinking about.

[hyukiee]

chapter 3: fate

warnings: drugs, drinking, gun mention, smut but not really lol

i’m always open to feedback again, this is my first story. i really wanted to put in smut but i feel like i’m terrible at it and just wasn’t happy with what i wrote so i left it out. i hope you still enjoy <3

“Hotel party tonight?” Julian smirked at you entering the elevator of the nearest hotel. “I thought you were wanting this to be a sober weekend?” “You’ve been teasing me all day, fuck sobriety.” He pretended to be angry by harshly pressing the button for level 5, using you as a excuse but you knew well that it took all his self control to stay sober this long. Your always down for a party but you couldn’t forget about Taehyung right beside you. This could successfully scare him away like you wanted but your starting to enjoy his silent company, just a little. “You should invite your members,” it was almost embarrassing how much you had to break your neck to look at his face. “I don’t think they would want to join but I can see.” You hate how easily you melt under men. Stupid daddy issues. All he did was smile down at you sweetly. You cleared your throat and looked ahead of you, ignoring how he made your heart skip a beat. You definitely need a drink, or two, or ten.

“Taehyung-ah, where did you go? You worried us but Namjoon said he saw you talking to a pretty girl so we’ve just been waiting to hear from you,” Jimin pouted through the phone making Taehyung laugh. “I’m with the pretty girl, she wanted me to invite you guys to this hotel party. I thought you and Jungkook would be the only ones interested.” “Ahh, you thought very correctly hyung, send the address and meet us.” Jimin hung up the call quickly. Jesus, excited much? Taehyung didn’t really want to invite them, he knows he’ll get yelled at by the end of the night. There’s bound to be a lot of illegal things going on but he liked the idea of them meeting you. He couldn’t deny all the feelings you made him feel touching him or even just looking up at him. “Are they coming?” You spoke quietly coming out of the room into the hallway. “Just two of them, their our youngest members, they should be here soon.” “Ok, come in and help us set everything up.” Just looking at you, no one would ever assume you did the things that you do. Maybe that’s why he’s crazy enough to look past it. Everything about you was pure and innocent looking. Any man would be stupid to not want to give you the world. This isn’t going to end well for him, not with these thoughts. But god, he couldn’t care less.

“Just a fair warning, there’s going to be people with drugs and probably guns. Just stick around me or Julian and you’ll be fine, no one is trying to hurt you. Actually, take a drink,” You tried to prepare Taehyung the best you could. It would be impossible for him to not make him stick out but maybe some alcohol will help. “You almost seem more nervous than me,” he chuckled taking the beer you offered, slightly touching your hand. “Yeah, I need drugs, let’s go get your friends first,” you continued to ignore Taehyung’s gaze, you couldn’t handle how he stared at you. “No drugs around the members, please,” he grabbed your wrist once again, stopping you from walking ahead of him. You don’t do favors but you know his group is far from the type to be okay with this situation. One favor wouldn’t hurt you. You nodded, accidentally getting lost in his eyes before he suddenly put his arm around you and started walking. “Jimin and Jungkook are major flirts, let them see us like this, it will save you a night of cringe pick up lines.” God, he could probably feel your racing heart from your shoulders. You’ve lacked this type of skin touch for so long. You prayed he wouldn’t look down and see your beat red cheeks the whole way down to the main lobby.

You didn’t understand how a group of men could be so attractive. Jimin had pink hair and the most beautiful plump lips. He was pretty short though, you can’t complain being as short as you are but you prefer taller men, like Taehyung. Jungkook looked like the definition of a tease. He had a dark-ish style that you could get on your knees for but no matter how attractive they were, they couldn’t top how Taehyung made you feel with his arm around you. “It’s really nice to meet you two, i’m sorry for stealing Taehyung from you. We’re on level 5 and we also have a lot of drinks by the pool.” “Wahh, your korean is very good! Where did you find her hyung?” You couldn’t take a compliment for the life of you. You could feel yourself curling up against Taehyung, it made him smile as he gave you a quick glance. “It might be fate, I haven’t decided yet.”

The more your with Taehyung and the more you drink, the more you just want to get alone with him. You haven’t even thought about running off to go do drugs with the dealers you know are here. That hasn’t happened in a long time, it’s dangerous. This isn’t going to end well for either of you but the alcohol in your system makes not give a damn in the slightest. “So, are you having fun?” You can’t deny you get very talkative when you drink, it makes you self conscious when your around people you give a fuck about but the heat in between your legs was enough to hide your concern of over talking. “I am actually,” Taehyung said with a smile, looking down at you, grabbing your hand. “Thank you for bringing me along,” you couldn’t help but let out a nervous laugh, “Are you drunk?” “Just a little,” His words slurred a little and your now noticing his pink tinted cheeks and permanent smile. He’s holding your hand, it’s such a innocent gesture that has your knees weak. “Should we get our own room?” You our on your innocent smile that is known to make everyone do what you want. You know you give off that innocent vibe and you use it to your advantage a lot. “Are you seducing me right now?” “I’d actually prefer it if you seduced me,” you both help eye contact with each other as Taehyung let go of your hand to put his arms around your waist, pulling you to his chest. “Oh really? Let me get us a room then. Maybe I can finally show you i’m not as innocent as you picture me.” Taehyung whispered in your ear, that smile still stuck on his face.

You wobbled yourself inside the room, almost regretting taking those extra shots while Taehyung was in the main lobby. “Y/n,” Taehyung spoke calmly as he placed his hand around your waist turning you to him. “You’re pretty drunk, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” you almost forgot he was a good guy. Your face almost dropped tears hearing him show some self control. Although, Taehyung is perfect in every way... that’s not your type. You lean towards guys that use you for drugs, sex, whatever it is but not Taehyung. “No, fuck me, please,” he let out a laugh after you desperately placed your hands on his cheeks. Taehyung suddenly grabbed your thighs and picked you up almost effortlessly, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist before he layed you on the bed. He stared into your eyes for a moment before gently placing his lips on yours. Time became non-existent as you focused on his lips. Everything was happening slowly and calm, nothing you wouldn’t expect from the literal angel from heaven. You don’t prefer the vanilla scene but you already mentioned the daddy issues right? Taehyung makes you forget all about it though, with those lips that create the cutest smile. Your sweet thoughts came to an immediate stop when Taehyung harshly slapped his hand on your ass, lightly gripping it. “Don’t start thinking i’m soft in bed, your thoughts are predictable but I don’t play that way,” he smirked at you gripping your ass again, leaving you in complete shock. “This is gonna be a long night,” you whispered with a smile. You smiled. Not one you faked to make everyone comfortable, it was genuine. “Good thinking,” Taehyung smiled back before burrying his face in your neck.

You haven’t looked yet but you know you have hickeys everywhere with a mix of some hand marks and just the thought puts a permanent smile on your face. “I didn’t realize how much I needed that,” Taehyung whispered wrapping his arm around your waist making you the little spoon. “Me neither,” you laughed. His body fit perfectly against yours. He might of been right when he said meeting you might be fate. Fate. You believe everything happens for a reason, it helped you decide you were destined to just fail. If this is fate your either going to ruin Taehyung or he will ruin you. Happy ending don’t happen for you, cliche but deadly true. Even though your very aware of this, you want to just live in the moment. Enjoy having him wrapped around you even though the bed will be empty eventually. The only sound in the room was both of yours breathing, calmly until a phone started ringing. Taehyung sat up and looked at his phone to see Jimin’s name on his screen. “Ah, I should go make sure their alright,” he looked at you, obviously guilty for leaving you already. “I’ll be back,” he whispered while gently caressing your thigh. “Okay.”

Taehyung now officially regrets bringing Jimin and Jungkook. They were insanely drunk, they didn’t even realize the type of people they were hanging around with. That’s good for him because he won’t get yelled at but it doesn’t change the fact that he had to practically drag two grown men up to a room right across from yours. “Hyungggg, y/n is so pretty. She looks a little familiar though.. have we seen her before?” “No kookie, just go to sleep, don’t get up until your sober, i’ll be in the room across from you. There’s water on the counter and some medicine-“ He stopped talking when he heard their heavy breathing. Their asleep. Taehyung sighed rubbing his forehead before quietly sneaking back into your room. You’re asleep too. He sighed again before carefully going back into the spot he was happily in before. “I think i’m going to fall in love with you but if it’s fate that’s okay right? I hope so.”

[joeshappyplace]

Active addiction 109lbs vs Sobriety 150 pounds

Never been a big guy but that is just fucken alarming lol. In the picture below you can even see how thin my hair was getting from the lack of food and vitamins cause I was always all drugged out and forget to eat. Geez I look horrible. Very greatful today for another sobriety anniversary. Killing it! Getting what I need to do, done! Very thankful for my mother and sister who have stuck around through institutions, jails, and even overdoses! They have seen my true potential no matter how dim the light got. I love them both with everything I got and don’t regret a thing. My mom even said to me today that she doesn’t hold no hard feelings about any of it including the past year cause it all amounted to this finally. And she’s not very expressive, so it meant a ton. 2019 was hell. But thankfully it was so bad that I never want to go back. I was homeless, alone, fighting for my fix and even just something to eat. In and out of shelters you name it. I’ve been there. I’ve been to the fringes of society, and back. Seen things regular people would have nightmares over for the rest of their little regular lives. Have endured pain that will forever resonate in my core. But thankfully, have learned things I will never forget. On Christmas, I drove around to all my old homeless hangouts and saw my friends again. A few dead, but most still in tact. Gave them some money for food and other essentials. You wouldn’t believe how much toilet paper means until you don’t have any. And I sat in my bed and cried the rest of the night. People are so fixated on their lives that they don’t take a deeper look into what’s really going on around them. Do me a favor, don’t a dick and pretend that homeless dude you’re walking past isn’t talking to you. Cause he’s asking for help. And that’s fucken hard to do. I would know. My first month I lost 20 pounds alone cause of how embarrassed I was to ask for a dollar or two. Very grateful for where I’m at today and thankful for those sticking by me tough. Thankful for the people who aren’t in my life anymore also, cause I’m sure they’ve taught me something! Wouldn’t change a god damn thing in my past. So blessed to have open eyes like I do now. There truly is something out there watching over me. I love you, mom and ish. And I love you, everyone else. Wish y’all could be here with me to celebrate! Also, james, buddy... this was your dying wish... I’m working hard for you and making every living amends I can. Still think about you brother.

1/10/19

[lovemesomesurveys]

Where all have you been in this world?: Arizona, Idaho, Georgia, and Mexico. Oh, and various places in California, where I live. I’m gonna make you brefagust. (: Whataya want?: Scrambled eggs with spinach and shredded cheese. Are there any words that you just cannot pronounce correctly?: Hmm. What’s in your copy and paste?: Well, this survey. What’d you dream about last night?: I had some very weird dreams last night.

Do you know anyone that’s painfully, socially awkward?: Me. Red or blonde hair?: I mean, I like red hair on myself.  What would you do if a gorilla ate your homework?: What’s of interest to me is why there’s a gorilla anywhere near my homework. And me. How do you usually pose in your pictures?: I always turn to the side. It’s about the angles. Are you clumsy?: Yes. Do you know anyone that absolutely freaks out if you try to take a picture of them?: I mean, I’m kinda like that. I don’t freak out, but I don’t like having my picture taken. I look even worse when someone else takes the photo. Do you pick on them for it and attempt to take loads of pictures anyway?: Have you ever caught yourself dancing?: Uhh. I mean I bob along to music sometimes? That’s about the extent of my dancing. I’m aware I’m doing it, it’s not something I was doing absentmindedly and then realized what I was doing or something, if that’s what you mean. How’s your posture?: Bad. Do you play an instrument?: No. Have you ever had to take care of a fake baby in family ed?: No. I actually missed that part in middle school cause I was in the hospital after having surgery. ^ were you a good mother/father?: What’s your favorite way to wear your hair up?: My hair is either in a pony tail, braid, or messy bun. Have you ever played tennis?: Nah. What’s the last thing you drew/wrote on yourself?: I don’t know, I haven’t done that in a long time. Peace or love?: Peace and love. *peace sign* Who do you love?: God and my family. Who do you NEED?: God and my family. Who do you miss?: Loved ones who have passed away. And Ty. Do any of your friends put ‘lol’ in almost every single text they send you?: No. What do you think of Sarah Palin?: Have you ever read a ‘banned’ book?: No. What does your screen name mean?: It means I love surveys. Pretty self-explanatory. Would you like you, if you met you?: No. I don’t like me as me, so.

What’s your first impression of yourself?: Uh. Where was the last place you went shopping?: The mall. How often do you take naps?: Often-ish. I try not to because I always feel groggy and crappy afterwards, but sleep often wins. Have you ever had to take a sobriety test?: No. Do you like movies more if they’re based on actual events?: I wouldn’t say I like them more necessarily, but it does add something to it. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done with your cell phone?: Nothing comes to mind. What’s your opinion on gold diggers? Selfish, or smart? Both?: I don’t agree with using someone for their money. What would you do if your bf/gf was hitting on someone else right in front of you?: I’d be pissed off and upset to say the least and say something. What’s something you’ve done that you’ve sworn you’d never do?: Ugh. Which ex of yours do you talk to the most?: I don’t talk to any of them. If you were given a country to rule, which one would you want?: I don’t want to rule a country, thanks. Why?: Do you know anyone who lives on an island?: No. Can you recall the first person you ever drank/got drunk/high with?: A friend. ^ are you still friends?: I don’t have any friends anymore. What time of day are you typically the busiest?: I’m not a busy person. I spend my days resting in bed, scrolling through Tumblr, doing surveys, watching YouTube, checking social media, watching TV, eating, and sleeping. That’s not what I’d consider “busy.” They’re distractions and things to occupy myself to get through the day... And what are you doing that keeps you thus?: Did the word ‘thus’ confuse you, or is your IQ over 10?: Wtf. Have you ever taken someone else’s vehicle without permission?: Uh, no. What were you doing the last time you were videotaped?: Something on Snapchat most likely. Is that something you’d be comfortable uploading and sharing?: No. Which friend wears the same size clothes as you do?: Is there anyone’s wardrobe that you’d like to steal?: No. What do you do when you can’t sleep?: Every night I Tumblr, do surveys, watch YouTube/listen to ASMR, and watch TV until I fall asleep. How often do you tell lies, including little white lies?: “Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...” Any secrets you’d like to share with the class?: Nah. How many scoops of coffee do you use to make a pot?: I have a Keurig.  ^ is it flavored or plain?: The coffee is just regular coffee, but I use flavored creamer. Have you ever been lost in the woods?: No. What did you last stretch the truth about?: Hmm. Have you ever had withdrawals from something?: Yes. Someone?: Something like that. How old is 'too old’ for you to date?: Date if you’re 100 I don’t care. What’s something that really pisses you off?: Blah. What’s something that always makes you smile?: My doggo. Have you ever taken your frustration out on the wrong person?: Yes. I get moody and snippy and short and my family are the ones I’m closest to and the only people I see, so they get that moody side of me, unfortunately. :/ How many nicknames can you think of for marijuana?: Mary Jane, weed, ganja, kush, bud... What about the police?: Uhhh. How do you feel about guys in tight jeans?: I don’t care? What about cardigans?: I also don’t care. Do you know how to use roman numerals properly?: Some. Longest period of time you’ve ever been awake?: Over 30 something hours. Favorite hour-long show?: I have a few. Favorite half-hour show?: I have a few of those, too. Best looking person you know of the same sex?: I think my mama is beautiful. I wish I looked more like her. I’m also very envious cause she has the best skin. My grandma did, too. I did not inherit that. What’s worse; flat soda, or warm soda?: Flat soda. Most people who’ve slept over at your house all at once?: 5. Have you ever stapled yourself?: I don’t think so. Steak or chicken?: Chicken. I don’t like steak. What’s one thing you’ve learned from a good relationship gone bad?: Hm. If you could pick to be any person in a movie, who would it be?: I don’t know. Who would you like to spend the night with?: No one. What stripper name would you give yourself?: Quickie. lmao. For those who don’t know by now, I’m in a wheelchair. Is flirting really cheating?: I absolutely would have a problem with a significant other flirting with someone else.  What’s something you own that’s /only/ of sentimental value?:  I’m big on that kind of thing, so I have a lot. What’s your choice of chips?: Doritos, either the nacho cheese or cool ranch flavor. What song would you use to torture someone?: That one song that goes, “this is the song that never ends, it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because it is the song that ever ends...” and repeat. What is the weirdest compliment you have ever received?: Some random woman thought I had polio since I’m in a wheelchair and said, “You look pretty for having polio.” ...... If someone REALLY fat was upset, and saying how FAT they were, what would you say?: I don’t know? I get uncomfortable when people make comments about their weight or appearance and do self-deprecating jokes. I do it, too, but I don’t know how to respond when other people do it. I try not to do it often cause I know it makes people uncomfortable.  What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard a kid say?: Kids say the darndest things.  Has anyone licked you today?: My doggo. Three things you can’t live without?: Oxygen, food, water. Three things you want to live without?: I’d love to not have health issues, both physical and mental. A random stranger walks up to you and says 'you’re hott’. You say: I’d probably awkwardly chuckle and be like, “uh, thanks” and keep going. 

[onetimeblast]

21 People Tag Game?!? I only have like 5 friends

Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 (ISH) people you want to get to know better. FIRST OFF, I was SOO flattered when @rulerofnocountry tagged me in this and second, this was so much easier to do on a laptop haha. 💻

Nickname: Manders, mandas, and Amanda Panda but that last one are pretty much reserved for my dad and my brother and MAYbe my future husband. please do not call me Mandy. You will be off the friend's list QUICK. 🙅🏼‍♀️

Zodiac:  I am a born Aries but I am on the cusp of Taurus! So Taurus love relaxing in the serene environment but us Aries also love to be the first starting a challenge. My personality is all over the place. 

Height: 5′2″

Last Movie I Saw: Avengers Endgame??? I think. 😅

Last Thing I googled: Katy Perry Russel Brand (because Jon Cozart tweeted about it) 🤷🏼‍♀️

Favorite Musicians: Okay, I really don’t have a favorite but I will recommend some plus songs!! Sad Forever by Lauv, Truth Hurts by Lizzo, anything by Shawn Mendes, Ed Sheeran, and John Mayer. Plus Robert Plant who is from Lez Zeppelin, especially his Raising Sand album which I listen to driving and while writing. Lastly, Dean Lewis and his work! Dean Lewis, Ed Sheeran, Shawn Mendes, and John Mayer are all on a Calm playlist! Can’t forget the lovely Harry Styles!!

Song Stuck in my Head: None actually! But I did have a mix of Harry Styles and Shawn Mendes yesterday while at work! 💃🏽🕺🏼

Other Blogs: protectteenwolf and uncommongracepublications! I may have others but ya gotta ask!

Do I get asks: Sadly, no... 😭🥺😞

Blogs following: Ummmm I think I follow like 536?? and maybe half of that follows me?? Honestly no idea. 😬

Amount of sleep: 8 hours are needed but I’ve been getting 6. Like tonight! 🤪

Lucky Number: Don’t have one

What am I wearing: Okay this is a creepy question LOL 😳 but it’s an XPLR black glow-in-the-dark shirt and light blue polar bear PJ pants

Dream Job: Legit, film director and producer!! I just applied to work in NBC this coming fall for two shows in New York! I live in Rhode Island so I can commute there and back during the day and may stay over the weekend IF NEEDED CUS it's HELLA EXPENSIVE  and I have student loans to pay. Hell, it's expensive to live lol 💵💵💵

Dream Vacation: Croatia, Italy, Canada, Iceland, New Zealand, ya know, all the lands lol

Favorite Food: Italian food plus all dem potatoes. Being an Italian, Irish American isn’t easy on the weight loss journey. 🍞🥔🍝

Playing an instrument: I am learning Ukulele m but I played the clarinet for about 6 years and I can sort of play the piano but it has been a while. I can read music but doing hearing to note match isn’t that easy for me.

Languages: English but slowly learning Italian!

Favorite Song: Just go back to the same question up top! I don’t have a favorite as its mainly when the mood hits me, I pick certain music at that time.

Random Facts: I am a twin and I am the youngest one. I also have to sleep with a fan on and sometimes hug a pillow at night. I also have 10 journals filled with diff things and I am trying to write a full book! So watch out for the publication's blog for some testing pieces of that book! I don’t drink and though I can’t say I won’t ever but I think I have an addictive personality and would like to stay away from an addictive thing.

Describe Yourself as Aesthetics Things:

Navy blue with some kind of black mixed in

Paintbrush strikes always dancing on my skin

Slow, visual reader

Waking up early to go onto a plane with the people dearest to you and leaving behind all of the worries at home.

An introverted extrovert who tells it like it is and will speak up if their opinion differs from those around especially when it may help the community to grow but also likes being alone and in peace with their own thoughts and hobbies.

Advocate for sobriety when driving and any other destructive decisions like texting and driving.

21 People are probably not the most possible thing but like we will find out!!

@shawmednes @mndes @bribethe-door @happymendes (that's literally 4 people. How the heck does any person know 21 people. How am I suppose to keep up with 21 PEOPLE?!?)

ALSO LIKE if you guys ever need a playlist to focus, I find this playlist of movie scores helps a TON! Spotify

[vide0-nasties]

all As for euffie ylfa and ww 😘

Aptitude

1. what are your oc’s naturalabilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

Eustacia: Because of her mother,Una, she's been practicing glamour and cursework since she was achild, but she's had an innate talent for transmogrification magicthat Una never possessed. That lapsed as she grew into adulthood, butit was a good foundation for her chaos magic.

Ylfa: Hunting and acting. Shegrew up with only her mother for company, very isolated in thecountryside, and because of her mother's work (research into theviability of alchemy in a residential setting), she largely had tokeep not only herself entertained, but the both of them fed andclothed. On the entertainment spectrum, this meant lots and lots ofreading and pretend games, playing multiple roles to flesh out herstories. On the practicality end of things, she took up hunting smallgame after being taught by a few traders how to track and use a bow.

Wildwood: As the second youngestof eleven children, with a twin brother that required constant careand attention, Wildwood spent a lot of her time being her mother'sshadow. That meant cleaning, and chores, and laundry. But it alsomeant cooking and playing music. Her earliest and nearly onlyremaining memories of that time are being taught to cook for crowdsand playing her mother's autoharp. When that finally and blessedlywent to shit and she and her mother were rescued, her adoptivefather, Jocko, taught her to play the fiddle.

2. what activities have theyparticipated in?

Eustacia: massive militarycampaigns, guerrilla warfare, black budget operations, regionaldestabilization, “advanced interrogation,” memory retrieval andfabrication, necromancy and ransom, state-sanctioned mass murder,riot suppression, insurrection suppression, leading violentrevolution, participating in the illegal sale of banned magicks,vigilantism. Nothing very good or cheerful.

Ylfa: Court intrigue, in-depthschooling, world traveling, counter-espionage, big-ass bat stunts,giant bat care, formal dance, learning world languages, deep coverespionage, counter-terrorism operations (for lack of a better termig!), mithridatism, selective dog training, getting shoved into avery loveless arranged marriage for political convenience thatneither party wants, warrior monk training, administering religiousrites and ceremonies, being a good kept court monkey for her queenand spitting out as many prophecies as possible.

Wildwood: Her criminal record islong and varied and includes but is not limited to: hostageransoming, bank robbery, horse thievery, identity fraud, dowry fraud,murder, improper disposal of human remains, train robbery, stagecoachrobbery, attempted murder, grand larceny, prostitution, materialproperty scams, assault and battery, assault with a deadly weapon,breaking and entering. On the less illegal side, she has attended twocotillions, plays concert-level violin, competed in shootingcontests, raced horses (both mounted and driven), acted as a honeypotand diversion, and uhhhh orchestrating the personal hygiene of themen in camp bc they fucking STINK.

3. what abilities do they havethat they’ve worked for?

Eustacia: Living a relativelynormal civilian life. From the time she was five, she's either been acriminal accomplice on the lam, an enslaved Black ops soldier, or aguerrilla revolutionary. Having a place that is HERS, that she comesback to everyday and has to maintain is a HELL of a lot differentthan anything she's used to. Not to mention the fact she wasadjusting to life with the better part of her humanity removed fromher body, making her incomprehensible on good days and utterlyvicious on bad ones.

Ylfa: Unlike Euffie, Ylfa had toadjust to enlisted life lol. Hey previous home lives had beenextremely casual, sedate, and private, so getting thrown to thewolves in the form of looots of resentful priestesses (who'd allbusted their ass to join the Beserkr's order, while Ylfa had beenforced in as punishment for a percieved crime) and an obscenely harshtraining regiment very nearly killed her from exhaustion if nothingelse. The loneliness and constant moving didn't help her either.

Wildwood: Sniping, bodydismemberment/disposal, empathy/sympathy. These all have to do witheach other. As a child, one of her older brothers (Atlas, he whocertainly acted like he had the world upon his fuckin' shoulders, andhe who was certainly built like it) put his hand on the back of herhead and smashed her skull against a tree. While it fucked her upphysically (broke her skull, injured her right eye, broke out herlateral incisor), it also gave her lasting brain damage. It becamevery easy for her to kill people because she didn't see them aspeople. She had to work very hard to give a shit about anyone (thatwasn't her mother or adoptive father) as an individual. Over 25+years, some of the damage has healed, and through her own work herempathy has gotten much better, but it's made killing more difficult.

4. what things are they bad at?

Eustacia: Domesticity ): my girlcannot keep a house to save her damn life. She's never stayed oneplace long enough for it to feel like home and she's always watchingthe door for her cue to leave. Her house is messy, dirty, anddisorganized and feels deeply, deeply impersonal. She simply doesn'tcare about the place she lives. Minor thingsshe's bad at: playing musical instruments, cooking food that is notbreakfast related, remembering important dates, self-restraint,healthy coping mechanisms, wearing colors that aren't black.

Ylfa: She'sabsolutely terrible at being her genuine self. She got too used totrying to be helpful or unobtrusive or sneaky, and as a result shebends her personality to best match whoever she's interacting with.It's gotten to the point that she thinks she doesn't actually have apersonality of her own--she's doesn't exist outside of whoever she'spretending to be for someone else, and she doesn't know who Ylfa issupposed to be. Minor things: consistently lies, doing laundry (hasdestroyed many sets of robes), disciplining her dog (Jokeri is aspoiled little tyrant and it's only tolerated because he's tiny),respecting books (serial spine-breaker and dog-earrer), makingfriends, respecting (or even remembering the names of) the othergods, huge blasphemer.

Wildwood: Woodputs the needs of others ahead of her own and if that isn't just asMary Sue-ish as shit. But it's ruinous and gets to the point ofself-destruction, literally forgoing basic self-care to tend to anylittle thing asked of her, leading to big, BIG fuck-ups as a resultof the neglect and wear. Most often this leads to exhaustion andfatigue, leaving her close to functionally useless when shit hits thefan. Minor things: she pinballs between booze hounding/cocainefiending and sobriety, is religiously intolerant of most Christiandenominations outside of Catholicism, says odd oblique shit ALL THETIME, double-talks, can certainly be cruel for the sake of beingcruel, gets entitled and aggressive when challenged or has factsthrown in her face.

5. what is their most impressivetalent?

Eustacia: this bitch has created LIFE. It was ugly andan abomination and she crushed it was a book, but the little freakmistake did live for a minute, and it was a result of her chaosmagic. Making something out of the nothing that is the universe'svast untapped stores of energy.

Ylfa: Ylfa is an *astonishing* airborne mounted archer,hitting targets from a distance of half a mile while flying at topspeed in the dark. She can also tie cherry stems in knots with hertongue and can pick locks faster than anyone she knows.

Wildwood: Besides being able to dismember an grown manin ten minutes and being able to land a headshot at almost a mile,she has a drinking toast for every occasion and can cook a full-onspread for 20 people with little to no notice if called upon.

[whipped4qrow]

Alright kids, sorry to intrude! Hold on to your butts because I have some THOUGHTS.

I'm not trying to throw shade but truthfully, I get a bit more disappointed in wlw and mlm shippers that don't support Fair Game than I do with the typical Hetero-coded naysayers and "bromance enthusiasts". These are the fans that went through the same validity arguements and struggles with thier ships yet I've seen so many write off Fair Game for a number of weak reasons in my opinion. I've heard many accuse Fair Game as being bland because of a lack of conflict between the two or "Clover is too perfect and Qrow is boring now". Excuse me, what?

If any of you were ever 2000's-2010's anime trash, especially boys love shippers..... you'll have noticed that Fair Game is distinctly different than most other M/M ship tropes;

There is no rivalry between Qrow and Clover.

There is no jealousy, either between them or from an outside yearner.

Neither of them neatly fit in a (sexual) relationship role, See: Dom/Sub, Seme/Uke.

There is no power struggle or fight to assert dominance.

They aren't "cute". (You know what I mean. No constant blushus and stammering).

There is no possessiveness or obsession.

They are both self sufficient adults. None of that bullshit "You're my better half I can't live without you" narrative.

Their lives are not glamorous. They have issues they need to work on in and outside of a relationship. Qrow needs to work on his attitude, self-worth and sobriety. Clover needs to work on his emotional vulnerability.

While they have thier virtues, they also have very obvious faults they need to work on. (More so Qrow at the moment. Story pacing wise I don't expect CRWBY to delve into Clover's demons until S8-S9).

They both have much they can actually learn from each other but they aren't codependent. They are individuals. Late 30's ish/early 40's individuals. There is an a level of experience there when it comes to navigating interpersonal relationships.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm trash and am a sucker for some of these tropes in certain scenarios but GUYS. We've GOTTA start normalizing relationships that don't fit into that stereotype box, even if they aren't "uwu so cute". We've gotta start supporting HEALTHY mlm couples as much as we do wlw couples (who seem to get a 'right to exist pass' more readily.)

And we have to STOP putting unhealthy relationships or fetished relationships on a pedastal to boot. Mlm AND wlw.

Peace ✌💕

(How do i put this bad boy under a "read more" cut? This post gettin' THICC lol)

I find a lot of the time ppl get uncomfortable with the idea of Qrow and Clover being love interests is bc they arent "uwu cute!" to them. These are two grown men that are in love with each other and they hate that, bc it isnt something for them to fetishize. and those kind of people are so so gross and I would gladly drop kick them miles away from rwby. I hope I am wording this right jdjfifnfjffjjd

Yes, holy shit, this! They can’t look at Qrow - the recovering alcoholic with metal health issues - and big, strong, handsome Clover and go “awww so soft and pure, so innocent”

Qrow is quite frankly a mess and his entire V6 story was messy and frustrating and not pretty in the least. He didn’t sigh softly and stare out the window wistfully, he got blackout drunk, collapsed in front of the house he was staying in, was pessimistic about everything in a way that wasn’t charming…not to mention he’s middle aged and scraggly. Like, any of those alone is already a deal breaker for so many people - so many super gross, messed up people - but then Clover comes around and isn’t shy, he’s very forward and beefy and definitely not the soft spoken, androgynous boy toy these people usually go for

They’re both very real and very adult and very much not written by people who have never met an actual gay person before

These men aren’t fanservice, they have depth and act like real people and that makes people uncomfortable. It reminds them that gay/bi/pan people actually exist and aren’t just there for their consumption

Man, sorry, I’m ranting, I’m just so angry!

[determinedburito-blog]

H-hey M*burp*M-m-morty where the,where the fuck is my p-portal gun M-Morty?!

Aw g-gee Rick I-I-I dunno..I thought y-you had it..

D-do I look like I *burp* have it M-morty?! I I swear if J*burp*Jerry has it I’m gonna,I’m gonna kill him!

I I don’t think he does….R-rick….

Th-then who does Morty?!

I-I-I told you I don’t know!

Heh,this is payback for last week,butthead……

I wonder what Rick did to Ani? lol

Don’t worry,he’ll get his portal gun back,safe and sound(eventually)

Just a piece to show that Ani is not always apathetic and drunk,she has a soft-ish side and can maintn sobriety(though she often prefers not too) she’s actually quite easygoing.

[momofaddict]

Now a New Life?

D ended up going to SS after all, but not without more trials and tribulations. We got him a bus ticket for Sunday afternoon. The SS representative was going to meet him at the bus station when he arrived down there, which is about 45 minutes away from SS.

We got to the bus station and they had overbooked his bus. So they made him get his bag out from underneath the bus (storage) and wait inside for the next bus which was supposedly "coming soon". 45 minutes later, they announced that it will be 3 to 4 hours before the next bus will arrive. I simply said, "come on, we're taking a road trip." It's a good thing thing that I stayed with him at the bus station.

While waiting at the bus station some crazy bitch was yelling at the people at Greyhound, anyone who would turn their head her way. Just cussing them out, I still don't know what about, maybe a lost bag? She kept screaming, "I'm going to sue y'all I'm going to sue y'all, you just wait, I'ma put y'all outta business!" and in my head I'm just thinking yeah right, go on girl, you go ahead and do that. As if. What a dumb bitch. If she had the money for a lawyer she damn sure wouldn't be taking the bus. It always cracks me up when people say they're going to sue somebody over something super petty. Nobody cares, nobody believes you, get over yourself.

It was shoulder to shoulder in that hot & humid bus station too. Mostly people looked and smelled homeless. Not that D looked any different, or me for that matter. I had simply planned to drop him off. I hadn't showered yet, so I too looked and probably smelled like crap. I fit right in. And the employees there are complete and utter assholes! Now, in their defense, everyone in that bus station where assholes too. So the employees probably had to be assholes in order to even get by. I would kill myself if I work at that place.

Anyway...

So I drove all the way down there, had some traffic along the way, and around four hours later we arrived. I was worried that the SS people would recognize my car from when I dropped M off the week before, so I parked just a little ways down the street. I don't want his relationship with my daughter to interfere with either one of their attempts at sobriety.

After weighing all of the options, this was the fastest way out, they had a bed waiting, so I just went for it. When D was in detox, they pumped him full of Librium which apparently takes a couple of weeks to leave one's system. This meant we would have to wait for the other local place for two ish weeks. He was required to test clean of benzos and alcohol before setting foot in there, since those two drugs can cause death buy withdrawal. No fucking way. So off to SS we went.

A friend of mine had some extra Hotel points, and hooked me up with a room for the night, for which I was eternally grateful. I didn't get much sleep that night however because there was a horrible storm that blew in, knocking the power out in the hotel for several hours. I don't even know when the power came back on cuz I finally went to sleep around 2:30 a.m. Of course I woke up at the butt crack of dawn, so I went down stairs, got some free breakfast, and hit the road. This time the drive was only two and a half hours because traffic was perfect and I was on the north side of the city which is closer to where I live, saving me a good 30 minutes to 1 hour. I was exhausted, and still had to work from home. But I was just glad to be home with my cats, and no druggie drama.

I haven't heard a peep from M, but that was expected as there is supposed to be no communication for the first two weeks. I was however hoping for at least a letter, but that's totally okay. No news is absolutely, 100%, badass news. It means she's still there. So that makes her there for one whole week & a day, all after 5 days of detox too. I will take it!

I did get a text from one of the counselors there last night saying that Mel is doing well and asked for more cigarettes. LOL. I am definitely hoping to hear from her this weekend. I don't expect to be driving down there again for at least three more weeks. She needs to focus.

So I'm back to having a peaceful house again, which is also bad ass. I have a ton of cleaning to do but other than that, nothing but stress free living until the next shoe drops. Of course I'm always praying that it never falls. Dare to dream...