#I don’t know you. I don’t know how you treat trans people yet.

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

with all the discussions around pronoun circles and similar practices, I’d like to add my thoughts as a Baby Queer TM:

u don’t get pronoun privileges until I’m sure you are cool.

“You” in this context can refer to a person or an institution, but the point stands. Unless I’m sure you’re gonna be chill about it, you don’t get pronoun privileges. Knowing my pronouns is a privilege, not a right.

Does having a compulsory pronoun share communicate to me that you’re cool?

Eh. Not really. It just tells me that I have to decide if you my pronoun privileges right now. And I’m probably not ready to share that yet.

[genderqueerdykes]

i know that tme/tma are intersexist and not great terms to use and i agree. but i also see people saying that transmascs who might get clocked as transfems don’t experience real transmisogyny, it’s just misdirected so it doesn’t count. i guess that’s never made sense to me? i’m intersex so i don’t really fit anywhere within tme/tma, i experience transmisogyny and transandrophobia.

my main question is can (perisex) transmascs experience transmisogyny, or is that not a thing since it’s misdirected?

this is a fantastic question and i'm glad you took the time to ask!

the thing is: the queerphobe addressing the transmasc in a transmisogynstic matter doesn't know that person isn't a trans woman. they don't know or care how that person identifies. at all. they are treating that person in a transmisogynstic fashion becase they think they're interacting with a trans woman. queerphobes don't have like, magical laser vision that can see your true identity from the outside. in fact, they could not care less what your real identity is. what they perceive you as is the most important thing to them in that moment.

this doesn't make it suddenly not transmisogyny. femme cis gay men are also affected by transmisogyny, i don't get why people seem to wanna forget that, too. like. there are femme cis gay men that queerphobes think are trans women, all the time, and get the same slurs and threats thrown at them. like. transmisogyny affects with the person perpetuating it THINKS is a trans woman. it has NOTHING to do with how that person identifies

trans men get called dykes because the perpetrator thinks that person is a butch lesbian. the perpetrator doesn't care that that trans man isn't a butch lesbian- they're a butch lesbian to the queerphobe and that's literally all that matters to them. people think for some reason the queerphobe somehow cares about your identity, or that they can tell the difference between trans men and trans women.

they can't.

the average non queer person does not know what a trans man is. people outside of the queer community do NOT understand that people willingly transition into manhood. your average person only understands transness within the frame of a male-to-female trans woman. i know that someone who isn't a trans man won't experience this, but i have had multiple occasions in real life where i explained to someone that i am transitioning into becoming a man, that i am taking testosterone, that i primarily identify as a man now, and they still go "Ahhhhh. so you're a woman. do you still have your penis?"

i have to literally routinely explain the concept of trans manhood to most non queer people i meet because they think the only kinds of trans people are trans women.

this means that transmisogyny affects a very broad range of trans and queer people, because that is who the queerphobe thinks they are attacking. that is not ""misdirection""- the queerphobe thinks you are a trans woman, and is attacking you for being what they think is a trans woman. they are convinced they are hitting their mark. the trans man is still affected by it. even if the trans man isn't a trans woman, it's still going to affect them. it's still going to hurt them to be treated in a queerphobic manner. like i don't get why people also don't care that it's still going to hurt them even if it's "misdirected". it still sucks. it's still painful. it's still transphobia

tme and tma literally don't exist. those terms make no sense in the real world and only exist to police people's bodies. "tme" means afab and "tma" means amab to these people, that's literally all it means. it's just people recreating the sex binary yet again. it has nothing to do with how people identify. if afab trans men are FORCED to identify as "tme" and amab trans women are FORCED to identify as "tma" then you recreated the sex binary literally all over again. nobody is liberated by using these terms

[velvetvexations]

I’m. So baffled by that one dude saying that trans men being able to pretend to be women is a privilege, because in his tags he says that it’s a thing specific to transmascs. Does he mean pretending to be cis as a means of safety is a transmasc specific thing?? Because uh, I’m… pretty sure that’s something that can be done regardless of a trans person’s gender? There are transfems and nonbinary people who can also pretend to be cis [whatever their agab was], too?

Its also not a privilege. Having to hide what you are out of fear isn’t a fucking privilege lmao

strangely people understand that when it's about trans women

just saw a post on my dash saying "'infighting' is a dogwhistle which frames transfems as aggressors". i really hope the tide is turning like you said, bc this shit is getting exhausting and im still seeing it from random people i follow who otherwise gave no indication that they drank the koolaid.

they make me out to be the aggressor all the time!

Nazi imagery anon here

These are the pics I was referring to.

As you can see it’s posted on the verified border security account and you can see two different nazi symbols on him :(

yeah it looks like standards for what they allow soldiers to adorn themselves with are low and the person taking and posting the pics aren't paying good enough attention because that guy also straight up has a naked anime bitch on his knife sheath

as I said this is an individual thing and they need to start knocking their heads together like the Three Stooges and sending them into trenches first

You know who saying that th**fab is actually a storied term that trans fems have been using to identify transmisogonists is fucking insane like girl that's such obvious lie give us nothing

they aren't even trying

It’s crazy how almost every other day on this site I see a new post with like 50k notes talking about how absolutely NOBODY deserves to be harassed, sent death threats or be put on blast yet once again I’m seeing people trying to justify the harassment of another transmasc teenager. Honestly people should just start openly admitting Tumblr is becoming increasingly hostile towards trans masculine individuals, I don’t see clownery on this level on any other platform-

Tumblr...is really bad.

I think the reason why this whole headcanons discourse bothers me so much is that is really is just fuelled by petty spite. Like all these characters are cisgender in canon. We make headcanons because it’s FUN to expand on characters in ways that reflect our different life experiences in whatever form that may take. Intentionally going after transmascs, especially young transmascs, for doing this with characters like they like and accusing them of all these different things genuinely does just feel like bigotry. Who cares if a head canon may not make the most amount of sense? It’s a cisgender fictional character we’re playing around with! Why does it have to be some grand act of activism to say blorbo number 3 is transmasc? We have much bigger fish to fry here.

exactly it's such dedication to not letting anyone else have anything

So sick of people acting like trans men are the same as cis men under the patriarchy and moreso im really sick of the "you're privileged to not be surrounded by men". Like, for lack of better phrasing, saying that about a group of people that is generally perceived as "failure women" pre transition (and sometimes during and post) is a little tone deaf. All about acknowledging how women and people perceived as women are harmed by misogyny until the ones perceived are men. Gender essentialism is ugly and tasteless and nonsensical. Please feel free to delete this im just rambling without a point

rambling is okay anon <3

„wow ur so privileged to not fear men”

i fear the fucking everyone asshole, i just realized that isnt everyone elses fault so i should still treat them with respect !!!!!

that woman called me a "self-hating doll" and I hate the second part a lot more than the first

[ashleymilesphil]

Hello Everyone, How Are You?

Please take a few minutes to read this post.

I’m writing these words out of sheer desperation. I feel like the world has turned its back on us. Just today, I came across a statistic that Tumblr has over 100 million downloads. That’s an enormous number! But imagine what if 100 million people saw you and ignored you? How would that make you feel? Deeply disappointed? Invisible? Or perhaps wishing you didn’t exist at all?

For us, the LGBTQ+ refugees in East Africa, that feeling of being invisible is our daily reality. We live in constant suffering starving, battling disease, and enduring relentless persecution simply because of who we are. Every day, we fight to survive, knowing that the world seems unaware of our struggles.

Right now, it feels like so much of the world’s attention is focused on the situation in Gaza. And please don’t misunderstand me I’m not saying that takes away from the urgency of what’s happening there. The suffering in Gaza is real and devastating. But I’m asking you to also keep an eye on what’s happening to the LGBTQ+ community in East Africa.

Here, we’re losing lives every day. Our friends and loved ones are dying from starvation, disease, and violent attacks. Yet none of the mainstream media shine a light on us. We are invisible to the world, but our suffering is just as real.

If I wasn’t in desperate need of help, I wouldn’t be here asking. This isn’t just about me it’s about my fellow LGBTQ+ refugees who are starving and homeless, with no access to basic medical care or safety. Every day, we face hostility from those around us. We’re shunned, attacked, and left with nowhere to turn.

Please, don’t ignore us. Be our hope. Be our voice. We’re begging for your support not just to survive, but to have a chance at a life free from suffering.

Even a small donation can make a huge difference. If just a fraction of those who read this post contributed $5, we could feed our community, treat illnesses, and begin to rebuild our lives. If you can’t donate, please consider sharing this post. Each share spreads awareness about our situation and brings us closer to finding those who can help.

Your kindness whether through donating or sharing—could save lives. Imagine being in our place one day, needing help from others. What you do today could inspire others to help you or someone else tomorrow.

We survive on barely one meal a day, and some days, not even that. Can you skip a meal and donate what it would have cost to help LGBTQ+ refugees who are suffering?

To everyone who has supported us already, thank you from the depths of our hearts. Your generosity and compassion mean the world to us. For those who are willing, please share your donations publicly or send a screenshot privately to encourage others to join in.

Our posts might get likes, but we desperately need donations to make it through another day. If you’re reading this, please help us. Follow our account, @ashleymilesphil to stay updated on our ongoing situation and the struggles of LGBTQ+ refugees in East Africa.

You are our last hope. Be part of the change. Help us survive.

Thank you so much for your time and kindness. We wish you all the best.

Your Trans Doll

Ashley.

[pillarsalt]

hi um

I was? transmasc but recently I’ve been seeing a lot of really misogynistic sexist transphobic stuff from trans community and it’s just been totally accepted, even by other transmascs. It’s been going on for a while but recently there was a murder of a nonbinary afab person and yet the whole trans community here has been silent, instead screaming about a transfem user being banned or something? This isn’t the first time an afab trans persons suffering has been dismissed, but now right after this awful death, i see transfems making posts about how transmascs talking about their oppression are terfs.

I didn’t want to think about it but all i could think about was that it was weird how despite everyone claiming trans men have all this privilege, trans women always come first…they get the most representation, they get the fame the admiration and the opportunities, their voices are always the loudest and their problems always always come first no matter what.

But despite popular belief trans men’s issues aren’t actually less significant, in some cases we suffer far more than trans women especially in regard to sexual violence. Yet we are silenced. We are frequently left poor, we are discriminated against for our sex we are discriminated against for being trans we are discriminated against for being perceived as lesbians. Yet we are made to be silent?

Why are our voices less important than trans women’s?

And all I could think about was that this is how females are treated in every other area.

I don’t know what else to say… I tried so hard not to reach that conclusion because I don’t want to be transmysogynist but I kept coming back to it and I couldn’t find an argument against it. This is how females are treated. This is what male privilege look like. And if trans women have male privilege, then why the fuck am I sitting here letting them talk over me?

I just feel really really angry. Your a blog who I liked your art but I blocked you when I discovered you were a radfem, but I sort of had you in the back of my mind for some reason and now I feel lost and confused, and I don’t think I want to be part of the trans community anymore.

Hey anon, firstly I really appreciate your willingness to have an open discussion with me. This must be weighing on you pretty heavily.

Secondly, holy shit, you're right. While the entire website is treating this user's ban as a national travesty, I haven't seen a single person talking about Nex's murder despite how much they claim to care about trans people. That's really fucking low, and this situation does very much encapsulate the state of misogyny within the trans community.

And you're right, this IS how females are treated in every other area. Throughout history, the suffering and injustice women face is minimized, laughed at, ignored, and when we want to talk about it, we're shut down and told we're making people uncomfortable and our pain isn't that bad. And here we are again, with a female person's death outweighed by a male person's inconvenience.

The denial of sex-based oppression that permeates trans spaces is a blatant lie that can only be held together if nobody is allowed to acknowledge it, and those who do are punished. If the trans community truly stood behind what they say, discussion would be encouraged! The foundation of their movement would be backed up with facts and replicable science! But instead, they'll call you a bigot for pointing out systems of oppression you can see with your own eyes. Because if you do, transwomen's position as Most Oppressed, and therefore the final authority on what's right and wrong, collapses. You are correct when you say that it seems like transwomen always come first; I don't remember who said it first, but just look at magazine covers featuring trans people -- the transwomen are fully clothed CEOs, athletes, movie stars, but transmen mostly get on magazine covers for... being pregnant and half naked. Misogyny is built into every society on earth, and individuals simply calling themselves something else doesn't change that. And when you give male people free reign to be as misogynistic as they want without consequence, they'll grab that opportunity and hold on like their lives depend on it. The way they weaponize transmen's sex against them is indistinguishable from what 'cis' men do to 'cis' women, but if you ever speak out about it, somehow YOU'RE the one hurting THEM. They do not want transmascs to find solidarity with other female people, because then they would have to face the reality of their own place in a patriarchal world, and face the fact that there are experiences exclusive to female people and that we have the right to speak about it. I mean you see shit like this and the motives become completely transparent:

I do find it funny how hard the trans community and their allies work to prevent anyone from hearing what radfems have to say in case they "corrupt" you with mere words. A lot of the time, it's simply listening to transwomen themselves that sparks the feeling of "something's not right here" in your brain. That's what happened with me too. I'll tell you that most of us also used to be proponents of trans activism, many formerly identifying as trans too. You are seeing through manipulation, and I know it's quite shocking to realize. Even when I first started having doubts about trans rhetoric, I thought "well everyone else agrees about this, so I need to shut up and be nice about it even if I don't agree." It's an unpleasant place to be in. The cognitive dissonance is exhausting though, and it becomes impossible to ignore.

The mistreatment of transmasc people in the trans community by transfems is brutal, and It's hard to watch from the outside because I just want to say "Hey, you know you don't have to take this shit, right?" And you really don't. You are not at all a bad person for recognizing the frankly absurd amount of misogyny in the trans community. Feeling lost and confused is shitty, but it's normal for this situation. The best thing you can do is keep observing, keep reading, form your own opinions, and never let anyone tell you to shut up. Above all, prioritize yourself and your mental wellbeing. If you need to remove yourself from gender-related spaces and discussion for a while, that's totally alright. Just know you're not evil or a bigot for not blindly agreeing with everything the trans community has told you. Your opinions and experiences are worthwhile too.

[cephalon-celaeno]

update i REALLY didn’t like this quest. it’s just that usually i consider warframe to be a game with extremely competent writing and this is… hmm. not.

huh! I already knew I wouldn’t like this quest so my opinion doesn’t count but I don’t like this quest!

[frooogscream]

This show who’s creators said time and time again that it is kind and that it knows how important it is for queer people just spat in my face and told me that I don’t deserve a Happy End. 

To me the worst part about Izzy dying, is that right before he gave the "piracy it’s not about glory it’s about belonging to something in the world that makes you feel like you don’t fit in it’s about finding your found family" speech! This is the last thing we see of him before he fucking dies. 

Why is this so bad? Well, why do queer people love pirates, vampires, monsters, every representation of something that is deemed unnatural and bad? Because this is how the world treats us till this day. We don’t belong. We don’t fit in! Izzy’s statement is something that every queer person can identify with, something very essential to the way we survive as queer people in a world that doesn’t treat us kindly. 

And in this show full of outsiders that don’t fit in with society, Izzy is the one character that even in the world of the outsiders still doesn’t fit in, still is portrayed as the antagonist even though looking back most of his actions are very understandable and human.

Even in this show, where pretty much everyone is queer, Izzy still symbolises the queer outsider, the one who doesn’t fit in, the one who is demonised, the queer person that is not plateable to society, the angry queer who has been through so much that they lash out to protect themselves.

Izzy represented a very essential aspect of being queer and his statement right before his death reinforcorces that yet again. And then he has to die!

Because after all only the queer people who are acceptable to society deserve a happy end. But as soon as you get bitter or start having problems trusting people, because of the horrible way this world treats you, then the best you deserve is a noble death. 

Some queer people are just not acceptable to society, I loved every single one of these characters but THE ONE that I can truly see myself in, as somebody who is scared, who is hurt, who as a trans person gets demonised more than ever, was Izzy! 

This show who’s creators said time and time again that it is kind and that it knows how important it is for queer people just spat in my face and told me that I don’t deserve a Happy End.

[aoi1dee]

hi everyone, i was asked to do renee too so i will! because apparently people are misgendering renee too 💔

the thing is is that i don’t really know that much about renee, i mean i found out she was trans through the our life wiki in november 😭 and most of the information im getting for this post is from the wiki which honestly i don’t really trust because anyone can edit it so if there is anything incorrect please correct me!

also i’m basing this off of how i would feel if i was in renee’s spot…

it’s the same thing for qiu if you are telling a story that is based in step 1 you can use the name darren and he/him but if you are talking about how she was in step 1 then you call her renee and she/her

example: “omg renee in step 1 was super mean to tamarack :(“

example 2 set in step 1: “darren muttered something to himself though you can tell qiu definitely heard it”

it’s the same thing that the game does where in step 1 at the time renee was darren

BUT

do not misgender renee in step 3 she goes by she/her

for step 2 i’m not absolutely sure.. on the wiki it says that at the time renee went by ren and he/him but i’ve seen people call her renee and she/her in step 2 so im not completely sure sadly :(

conclusion:

renee is a trans woman and you should treat her as a woman because she is

and if you are writing a story in the time of step 1 then you can use darren and he/him

yet again i’m not completely sure about any of this so if i messed anything up please let me know in the comments and i will fix it!! 🩷🩷

and please stop misgendering and/or deadnaming our life characters and anyone in general

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[indiestsnake]

I am of the opinion that In Stars and Time does the best kind of minority representation, that being silent representation. It does not explicitly state that it is doing representation. It does not even acknowledge any variety of “us vs them” conflict. It just shows us a world where it’s a normal thing.

Lemme explain. In the game, there’s this random conversation about how in vaugarde, most people have multiple names. Just cuz it’s a thing with their culture of change. And they mention that it’s helpful for changing genders cuz you’d already have a few choices from ur other names. And then Odile says “ok what are ur guy’s other names if u don’t mind” and Isabeau says:

“I’ll keep them secret. So that way, if I ever decide to change again, you guys won’t already know what to call me.”

THAT.

THAT RIGHT THERE. TAHT IS THE SHIT.

It implies that Isabeau is FTM bcuz he used He/Him. BUT ISABEAU ALREADY PRESENTS LIKE AN EXTREMLEY FEMININE CIS DUDE. THE GUY HAS HANDS THAT COULD CRUSH SKULLS YET PAINTS HIS NAILS.

So to the characters, it’s a normal sentence. But to us (or at least me, a dude still shaking off growing up in an environment where cis/het is the norm) it’s a fucking liver shot bcuz it raises a million questions about his preffered gender and appearance and how it works and all that non-conforming stuff that left me REELING from confusion. AND THEN THEY JUST MOVE ON ITS PERFECT

it does not give any fuel to the idea that Trans folk are abnormal because it doesn’t even bring up the concept. it spits in the face of cis/het being “normal”. And completely avoids subconsciously reinforcing that being Trans is fundamentally odd.

I have no clue if this is coherent but I love representation like this. Representation that treats itself as representation can lead to a subconscious undertone that lgbt people are weird or abnormal, even if they’re accepted. “Oh they’re definitely weird, but we love them anyway!” Is what it ends up reading as to me. But silent representation, the representation In Stars and Time does, ends up feeling like “they are people, and we love them.” It fully normalizes it. It shatters the barrier between Cis and Trans, Straight and Gay and all that.

Very sorry if this is nonsense or comes off as rude. I love gay people I swear I am a gay people actually. I just wanted to talk about this. In Stars and Time punched the cis/het side of me in the nose and I love it for that.

[kaelidascope]

Fandom and LGBTQ Hostility and My Experiences Trying to Exist in Both Spaces Online

I came into these spaces with a very strict rule that I would not react or do anything cancel-worthy out of an overabundance of caution. Digital footprints are dangerous. The things you say online will follow you around forever. I know that first hand. I’ve bottled up and stayed silent about a lot of things I’ve either witnessed first-hand or experienced because I was trying to maintain a clean online persona. I’m not an ‘airing out dirty laundry’ type person. 

In light of recent events however, it’s gotten so bad that I can no longer sit here and not say something about how I feel. I’m disappointed and frustrated with the experiences I’ve had both in fandom and LGBTQ+ spaces and I can’t be complacent. I’m tired of getting treated like this, I’m fed up and I’m not going to put up with it anymore. I feel it’s important I voice what I’ve been watching and what’s happened and how I’m not going to tolerate it anymore by calling it out first hand. 

This is a two-topic rant. They overlap in some instances, but it directly has to do with how fandoms behave in general towards each other on Twitter and Tumblr, and also how absolutely hostile LGBTQ+ individuals are nowadays to each other on the same platforms. 

I come from a different generation and a different social media platform. I wasn’t on Twitter and Tumblr until last year. I’m not dismissing the fact that I may have missed out on decades worth of culture and social expectation. The places where I come from aren’t exactly fantastic either, but at least here, more queer people are interacting with each other with shared interests much more widely than in places like DeviantArt. The amount of culture and information I’ve absorbed in one year is more than I ever had within the past twenty years. It should be a good thing, and I’m disappointed that it wasn’t. 

This is not the way I wanted to come out online to anyone. I’ve been figuring out where I sit on the gender and sexuality spectrum for a while now. I will not document a specific timeline for anyone because that’s nobody’s business but my own. Within the last year, I took a massive stride forward in exploring things I legally didn’t think I was allowed to. I expected backlash from cishets and the usual thing I see LGBTQ+ folks write essays over, about how the world hates us, but at least we have each other. Shockingly, the backlash didn’t come from straight people. It came from other queers. 

I am 27 years old and I am entirely self-sufficient. I’m mixed Puerto Rican living in a red state. English wasn’t even my first language. I don’t have a network, so I’m teaching myself these things. I'm asking questions. I'm reading materials and expressions of self-experience and self-identity through fanworks and other autobiographical content. I'm actively trying to seek community and support through transgender and non-binary individuals with shared interests and so far all I've been met with is hostility and assumptions. So much so that I've now been made to feel like I'm on a timeline to figure it out so I can have a well-practiced, short introduction to copy and paste to every person who comes across me. And the only reason I even need one is so that they can make the decision to pass judgement over whether or not I'm allowed to speak, write, draw, wear, act, breathe the things I do. I'm disappointed. I'm anxious. I honestly feel more shoved into the closet now than I ever did before and I shouldn't be. Nobody should be treated this way when trying to figure out who they are. I probably won't even get an apology for the things that were said to me, either. I pride myself on the extraordinary caution I take to be politically correct, vetted through reputable sources, and as close to authentic as possible. And yet somehow I’m still getting called things like terf, transmisogynistic, triggering, when I’m fucking trans myself and all of my content gets vetted/REQUESTED by trans individuals. I get promised up and down that people are kind and welcoming in these sorts of spaces and honey, they aren’t. The people you choose to be friends with aren't as inclusive and friendly as you think they are. You don’t even know me and what body parts I have. The fact that you need to know in order to decide whether or not to treat me with respect is telling of an internal issue that has nothing to do with me. 

I have no reference point. I live in a place where laws ban anything gender and trans. I have no local resources or community. I've barely met any LGBTQ people in person. If I have, they never came out publicly. Most of my queer exposure has been online, and the fact that I've seen nothing but angry, mean, exclusive and discriminating behavior without any sort of reasoning why other than selfish defensiveness, I don't know where else I'm supposed to go for support. Something a lot of you guys need to take into retrospect is anyone who identifies as LGBTQ gets shot where I live. We have sundown towns here. If you don’t even know what that is, good, but also that’s telling of your privilege that you need to consider when talking to others not from blue states. I didn’t grow up in an environment where we had these highly liberal culture points and the word ‘gay’ was never allowed to be said out loud. We did not have gay clubs in school. I'm about as fucking late to this as you possibly can get. The only reason I know anything about our history, representation, and barely anything about what's socially acceptable and what's not, is because of the internet. So many of you had the privilege of being exposed to this information as young as under the age of 10. I didn’t. Sue me for not immediately knowing what every gender label means right off the bat. Half that stuff isn’t even legal here. 

I can't believe it's boiled down to the fact that I have to somehow justify my existence on this Earth and give an explanation that fits into predetermined boxes just to do anything to engage with other people. I have no time or space to figure it out. I’m disorganized and overwhelmed because I can’t ask questions about ‘can butches do this?’ ‘How versatile is transmasc/transfem?’ ‘Am I more genderqueer or do I fit under the trans umbrella?’ Gender and identity is fluid and ever changing. I have actually seen people harp and attack individuals for "defaulting" or "detransitioning" when they change their mind after giving this big coming out speech. It’s like support on these platforms is entirely conditional and a one-time thing. Y'all really expect people to wear the first style of shirt they buy for the rest of their life? Are we not allowed to do anything unless we know for sure? How’s college working out for you, for those who believe this mindset?

The vocally aggressive ones who use big words that contradict their statements can do, say, and be whatever they want.  But people like me can't. The ones who have to straight pass in public to keep their jobs and maintain their life safely. Some of us have been on our own since 19 with no family support. Consider the environment someone lives in before assigning your harsh assumptions. I can’t just change myself on a whim without doing significant damage control. Half the jobs I work for don’t even allow unnatural hair colors. If we list our pronouns as anything other than our assigned sex at birth, it causes legality issues with taxes. The way I have to navigate how to explore my identity and also keep a roof over my head and my bills paid may seem highly conservative to most. It’s in no way shape or form meant to reflect disrespect on how others live and express themselves. I am doing the best with the environment I have. The way I do things is not meant to be read as a message of ‘you’re doing it wrong because you’re not doing it the way I do.’ None of us are wrong. That should not be the subliminal message here. 

You know someone actually challenged me on that? Saying I was being harmful for purposefully straight presenting in public? Please research your country and state specific laws before you say that to me. If I could afford to live somewhere safer and queer-friendly, this conversation would be different. I am working on getting the fuck out of this state. But I don’t have a partner or parents money to default on. I’m doing this by myself. It’s not impossible, just a slow process. 

I'm disappointed and fed up. I've reached my limit, and I don't really care anymore if someone uses this essay to try and cancel me 5 or 10 years from now when the world goes through another gender renaissance of terms and identities. I will not put up with being treated like this when you refuse to listen to anyone else other than the sound of your own voice. I’m trying my best to learn, adapt, and express myself. I do not need to be lectured or be called derogatory things just because you think I’m coming from a malicious place.  

It’s not just about the hostility and gate-keeping behavior exhibited in online queer spaces. The same exact thing happens in fandom spaces too. People get pissy about queer headcanons and presentations so much to the point of taking it upon themselves to police the fandom and scrub it clean of “impurities.” I’ve watched y’all go through people's social media pages for any type of ammunition for justification of a personal grievance. It shocks me how much hyperfixation gets put on specific and morally harmless things when there are people out there writing diabolical shit way worse than what I have to offer. And y’all happily support them too but bark at me about what I make cus that author fits your social criteria and you assumed I didn’t. Don't think I'm ignorant to every single scrap of hate mail and harassment I've gotten over the past year and a half in my inboxes. Including the passive aggressive posts about my work, vague tweets, and discussions about me in discord servers. Over what? Have you actually read my work? If it’s actually as problematic as you say it is, provide me with a modern and unbiased example why this particular scene and execution is harmful. And not because you got triggered or disliked the kink, or read the summary/tags and assumed it was something it’s not. I don’t know how much more caution tape, massive warnings, obvious clear-cut tags (that were provided to me by queer individuals to PUT on there in the first place) out of insane amounts of caution I can do. I have always been willing to provide spoilers and explicit details in case someone is unsure how they’ll be affected by something I make. If you already don’t like it based on my warnings, that’s always been more than okay! My work is not for everyone. I’m getting tired of politely and respectfully saying please move on, because the message seems to be getting lost in translation. So let me be clear; 

Get off my pages if you don’t like what I make. It’s not for you. It will never be for you. Dead dove. DO NOT EAT. PREFERRED DEMOGRAPHIC 25+ ADULT CONTENT RATED E FOR EXPLICIT. I can recommend so many other fantastic creators with better suited content for you! If I could hide my content behind a roped off section deliberately keeping you from seeing it, I would. BLOCK ME. 

If your response to this section is ‘well then just don’t write it’. Honey, there’s people out here in the RWBY fandom writing trans incest actively commenting on all your shit and you respond back. A magic grimm-goo strap and monster smut featuring a transfem character (again, requested by literally 3 trans people and WRITTEN by one) should be the least of your worries. 

I have actively chosen not to address the harassment and hate mail, because it's sad that half of you hate me so much you need to make a point of telling me so regularly. I sincerely hope moving on with your lives will grant you peace of mind. Truly.

This is why I barely interact with anyone. Nothing but hostility, harassment, and expectation to behave in ways I cannot emotionally commit to. I am exhausted, uninspired, and have such a bad taste in my mouth it's proving extremely difficult to want to do anything creative. It’s been worse with my recent exploration of my gender identity. Opening one door to write about certain things somehow, miraculously, closes ones I previously existed in. I’m practically getting kicked out if I’m not 100% one way or another. I don’t go out of my way to shove my content down your throats. Why you feel the need to come to me and tell me you dislike my existence because you read it, despite me stating this is not for everyone and probably not for you, doesn’t have anything to do with me. Idk what else I can do. Disappear off the face of the planet, I guess. That seems to be what the overall solution is when y’all find something you don’t like. I can't believe I witnessed grown adults in their mid twenties with self-proclaimed senses of rightness start a trend on Twitter to go through people's mutuals and their likes to see if they’re socially acceptable in Fandom spaces or not. That was fucking ridiculous. And especially not fair to those who had their private accounts leaked and put on blast when it was already behind an vetted follower wall. Believe it or not, people draw weird, lewd, diabolical shit. They’re actually being responsible by putting it behind a paywall, or some type of ‘proof of age before following’ requirement. It falls on the people who go on there, take screenshots, and post them publicly for minors and non-consenting individuals to see without filters what was previously hidden. It’s irresponsible and immature. 

For fear of getting canceled by the Fandom, I moved all 600+ accounts I was following onto a private alt. I don't interact with my main anymore. I went so far into hiding and didn’t dare share anything about liking content made by people I wasn’t allowed to like, because that’s how cruel it is out here. It's honestly stupid I even felt like I had to do that. For what? People glazed over the brief moment of drama within a few weeks and went right back to posting the same shit they always have. They find new things to gossip about on their privs. New enemies to cancel on Twitter. New things to deem problematic and attack. 

I will be heard with this letter. I don’t care to be associated with anyone who treats people like this. I don’t believe in it, I won’t support it, and I’d rather have a small circle of people who won’t be rude or attack other people for existing. I’m not going to sit here and take the abuse any longer. Leave me in peace. There is no reason any of this should be happening. 

This is not meant to undermine the support I have gotten from the few who know what I'm going through and have given me the space to figure it out. I appreciate every question answered and insight provided as much as your abilities allow. I'm so grateful for it. I just wish it wasn't 2 people while everyone else is an asshole.

[memory-and-sky]

hobie x male reader """""""""dating"""""""" hcs?

okay this is something i can work on and get done relatively quickly. THANK YOU FOR THIS ANON! to everyone who’s sent in asks for fics, they are being worked on, i swear🙏 hope you like this though!

word count: i dunno, it’s a good chunk of headcanons

containing: explicit mention of homophobia, brief description of injury via fighting, small small small sexual reference, hobie brown x m!reader, could be cis or trans but i wrote this with cis males in mind

the rest of the headcanons are under the cut!

“dating” headcanons

hobie brown x male!reader

since Hobie lives in the 70s in Britain, gay rights weren’t really…. y’know, the best.

for your safety and his, the most he’d do in public is holding your hand. and even that was a big sign of rebellion. holding hands with a person of the same sex? how scandalous!

anyway, while holding your hand, he’d love to put both your hands in his pocket, especially if you run cold (like me :P).

he’d totally be the type to rub his thumb slowly on your palm, too.

Hobie knows a lot of people, especially in the queer and punk scenes. he gets invited to a lot of house parties, and feels safer to put your relationship on display more then, but he’s definitely not over the top with it.

a simple arm over the shoulder, around your waist, or a hand in the back pocket of your jeans, though he doesn’t need PDA to show your relationship off.

“Have ya seen this new patch on the ol’ battle jacket? Or this pin? Yeah, my lovely boyfriend made ‘em fo’ me. Gorgeous, innit?” [speaking to a random friend]

“Have ya had the pleasure of meetin’ my boyfriend yet?”

“I thought you said you hated labels…?”

“Mmh, (y/n)’s influential like tha’. Clearly ya haven’t met ‘em.” He’d say, undoubtedly with a smirk plastered on his face.

i really don’t think Hobie would get particularly jealous over you.

of course he loves you with all his little gay heart, but he doesn’t feel insecure or get upset at you or anything if you talk (or flirt) with another guy (as long as you communicate). if anyone is flirting with you and you seem really disinterested, he’ll totally intervene.

maybe hold you in a way that makes it clear you’re together, or explicitly tell the dude that you’re not interested.

but he doesn’t like treating you like an object he ‘owns’ at all, it’s why he’s pretty hesitant to slap the ‘boyfriend’ label down on your relationship right away.

and the 70s were a sexual revolution! revolting against gender norms and relationship norms, stuff like that.

if anybody ever dared ask you two ‘so who’s the man and the woman in the relationship?’ or ‘who’s the top and who’s the bottom?’ Hobie would be dreadfully disgusted and educate them immediately.

speaking of sexual revolution and whatnot, Hobie would be down for polyamory if you were.

you two have a very good line of communication, and if you wanted to open your relationship and communicated that to him, he’d be fine with it.

you’re so great, he gets how other guys might fall in love with you, too.

Hobie would give the best gifts, try and change my mind. whether it’s for your anniversary, birthday, or just a random gift, they’re always handmade.

maybe he’ll make you a piece of clothing like a shirt, hand-pick a bouquet for you, or even customizing/fixing one of your old clothing pieces with a bit of added Hobie flair.

Even small things, like a charm, pin, or patch have so much love put into them because he loves you!

touching on my first point again, homophobia was very present outside of the queer/punk scene, even in some aspects of the punk community he didn’t feel welcome at all.

usually, he’d tell people where to shove their opinion, but sometimes he’d feel completely unsafe to be himself around anyone.

yeah, he’s spider-man, but he’s also a very young adult. he could fight people, and he definitely used to, but he hated coming home to you being worried sick about all the horrible bruises, cuts, and scrapes on him.

back to the lighthearted stuff, he’s definitely the type of guy to cook for you.

doesn’t matter what meal it is, he’s gonna make it for you if he has the chance to. and he actually makes good food, despite living in Britain his whole life.

if you’ve got issues with trying new foods, his place will always be stocked full with your safe foods no matter what.

you’ll eat together, and he’ll gaze dreamily at you, wondering how he ever got so lucky to land such a stellar guy like you.

this man loves coming home after a long day, popping in a VCR for a movie of some sort (TV could be in your bedroom or living room, doesn’t matter), and just cuddling with you.

he doesn’t mind being either the big spoon or little spoon, but tends to like being big spoon cause he likes holding you close to him so much.

he’s very scrawny, but doesn’t mean he won’t love you all the same, and hold you tight.

one more thing, Hobie loves you above all else. he’ll protect you and fight for you anytime you need. when it comes to his partners, he does not play around!!

[scientia-rex]

If you don't mind, I saw your post about smoking while on hormones recently and I have a couple questions.

Obviously quiting smoking is better for you in general. But are the adverse effects while on hormones the same for testosterone and estrogen?

Secondly, is this mostly about the nicotine in cigarettes (generally what people mean when they say smoking) or is it about smoking anything at all (weed, vapes, nicotine vapes, etc)?

Thanks!

Good questions and unfortunately I have to say that we don’t have enough solid data for great answers on either.

Testosterone raises risk of heart attack or stroke, in part because it causes an increase in red blood cell production. You might be familiar with blood thinners that can be used to prevent heart attack or stroke; blood thickeners do the opposite. However, this data is nowhere near adequate in the transgender population. I cannot tell you much at all about how dose, method of delivery, duration of treatment, or T levels during treatment affect this long-term risk, especially over decades. The best response to this uncertainty is for trans men and transmasc people on T to protect their cardiac health from all other risks as much as possible.

Which then leads to the question of type of smoke. I would love to be able to offer you conclusive answers on that, but the Feds made it virtually impossible to study marijuana until a couple of years ago, so I can’t tell you whether marijuana is as dangerous as tobacco or not, or whether mode of intake matters. I can tell you that tobacco is bad but that people consistently underestimate the risks of nicotine by itself. Nicotine is the insecticide component of tobacco. It will cause your small blood vessels to contract, decreasing blood flow to critical areas of the body and heart. Nicotine impedes healing—smokers are notoriously bad at healing after surgery to the point where I know multiple surgeons who will literally do a blood test for nicotine metabolites before doing higher risk surgeries. They don’t trust patients to tell them whether they smoked, and they have reason to distrust. You want top or bottom surgery? Quit smoking. Now.

I had an attending once describing to me watching what happened to a woman who had fingers reattached. He warned her that if she ever smoked again, she would lose the fingers. She didn’t believe him and thought just smoking a little would be fine. The fingers necrosed—died—immediately, because those small blood vessels are critical to healing a process like a reattachment or transplant. So then she had open wounds with gangrenous fingers attached to them. Great.

We don’t have long-term health outcomes data on vapes yet but for my money they’re going to turn out to be really bad for you as well. Nicotine is a poison. Your lungs don’t love poison delivery by any mechanism. The combustion products of tobacco are also REALLY FUCKING BAD for creating cancerous mutations in your cells, but don’t inhale poison if you want to live a rewarding life where you get to enjoy doing things you want to do, like fucking. (Erections also depend on blood flow and healthy blood vessels. Treat yours with kindness.)

[genderqueerdykes]

I saw your post about AMAB Enbies and how non-binary isn’t a monolith and wanted to say I appreciated seeing it. As a 25-year-old socially anxious, autistic, and ADHD AMAB enby person, it’s hard for me not to feel like a lot of trans and LGBT spaces treat me like a fox in the henhouse, especially when there are physical attributes I can’t change, like my height and build, and how “manly” things like my hands and face are. I can’t exactly change my facial structure, nor do I think it’d be authentic to myself if I did or could. (Apparently, it’s a problem to have a well-kempt and styled beard?)

Unfortunately, when I interact with the local trans community, most conversations circle around whether I’m planning on medically transitioning or “getting some work done.” I don’t feel like I have something to transition to; I just need to work on improving my physical and mental health. They also often ask if I’m happy with my style/aesthetics, which I’m not. But it often feels like a catty jab because, one, who has the money for a professional boy-mode-ish wardrobe, a boy-mode/family-safe wardrobe, AND a gender-affirming wardrobe? There is some overlap between those three concepts, I know, but still… I can’t wear a tank top, fun/crazy button-up, and a pair of khaki booty shorts in an office setting, or god forbid, around parents or certain friends. XwX

A lot of my autistic and ADHD tics were “corrected” in harmful ways that have made me more restrained and subdued to a point where my excitement might seem a bit disconcerting at times. I used to talk with my hands a lot and fidget a lot, but since it wasn’t something “good boys” did, the behavior was “corrected” by my parents and the community I grew up in. I’m always kinda anxious and paranoid now in groups of semi-strangers that I’ll make a major faux pas and everyone will hate me or dogpile in correcting me.

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble in your asks. I just wanted to say thank you for speaking out because some of us are afraid to. ^^;

hey i just wanted to say thanks for sending this ask! i really appreciate it because it irks me that people just participate in this behavior and act like that's what's to be expected or right. it's not okay, and i'm sorry you have firsthand experience with this, but i absolutely do not blame you at all whatsoever. it's fucked up that a lot of spaces for people who fall outside of the gender binary are beginning to police AGAB which is just. absolutely outrageous behavior from a community that is supposed to embrace and celebrate diversity in identity and how we experience gender outside of the binary...

but instead toxic people become obsessed with the biological sex binary. i don't know how to put it any other way than it is transphobic as fuck to say you don't feel safe around an entire group of people with/born with one specific genitals. their genitals have nothing to do you with you! nothing! those are their genitals, leave them the fuck alone! this is LITERALLY the "we don't give a fuck about AGAB" community and bioessentialists and transphobic queers are loudly and proudly excommunicating anyone from the community who was born assigned male at birth or has a penis in general.

i'm sorry to hear that people are so uptight about your body and physical appearance. the thing is that we are supposed to be embracing diversity in our bodies and appearances and experiences but yet they see someone who is... tall? or has a defined chin? or an adam's apple? or dense muscle tissue? or facial hair, like you mentioned? and suddenly they're... a threat? what the hell is this? it's transphobia, that's what it is!

you shouldn't have to transition if you don't want to. the thing about being non binary is that you presenting that way, especially if it's how you want to present, is literally challenging and stepping outside of the gender binary as we know it today. you are not required to go over the top and be the most femme person to have ever walked the earth. you're not required to have surgeries done or take hormones or dress different or change your voice... you don't have to change anything about you that you don't want to. that's one of the core principles of the trans community and we are letting down such a massive part of our family by behaving this way.

you really hit the nail on the head by bringing up your tics. i am so sorry that you have to deal with that worry- a LOT of people who are hostile toward amab transfems, trans women, and transfemmes in general target them specifically because of their mental health and/or neurodivergence. i've noticed this in person, especially if the amab non binary person in question has a loud voice and doesn't notice or has hearing damage and has to speak loudly, if they have tics as you mentioned, if they talk a lot or enjoy long conversations, if they try to explain... anything, people will target them for being "hostile" or for "arguing" when they're doing nothing wrong

people have gotten too comfortable in calling people with these features, especially people with deep voices, facial/body hair and penises, make someone "scary" or "dangerous". people are literally gladly applying radfem logic to the nonbinary community and not questioning it. radfems are attempting to rope in nonbinary afab people as they view them as "confused women," so the more we support this behavior, the more we lose grasp on our own family and community. we can't allow people to think this is okay behavior

i don't understand why people are okay with cis butch women but not okay with butch or gender non conforming transfems, trans women and amab trans people. i despise the notion that amab and intersex people can't be gender non conforming. why is gender non conformity reserved for afab people? has everyone forgotten (or patently ignored) the rich history of amab non binary and gender non conforming people we've had over the many decades of recorded history throughout our community in this modern era?

amab people should be allowed in these spaces, because there are just as many ways for amab people to step outside of the gender binary as there are afab and intersex people. everyone is capable of stepping outside of the binary for their identity and nobody has the right to police what that looks like. nobody. if one genuinely has trauma being around people of certain body types, seeking some type of therapy is crucial, because this is projecting one person's specific trauma on to an entire group of people, and it's spreading like wildfire and becoming the default in these spaces

this is not an attempt to derail, but rather to point out that this affects ALL trans people: fearing these traits in any person of any agab affects trans men, transmascs, intersex people, and other trans people in general. someone can have these features for a variety of reasons. also, if we're leaving out trans men & mascs, and we're leaving out trans women & femmes, AND we're leaving out AMAB people in general... how the HELL is that a trans community? there's no community to be had there whatsoever! that's an echo chamber! that's a radfeminist belief breeding ground!

we cannot let radfems and transmisogynist let nonbinary spaces become "gender non conforming women, afab trans people and people with a vagina only" spaces, because at what point, why are you calling it the nonbinary community? people need to be brutally honest and call those spaces women's spaces, or EXPLICITLY tell people that they are made only for people assigned female at birth. that wouldn't be ideal but it would at least make this transparent so people would know to avoid that and possibly start up their own safer spaces for ALL trans people

leaving out amab trans people no matter how they identify means your space is not safe for ALL trans people. it needs to be safe for every trans person no matter what they were assigned at birth. we are failing a huge portion of our community for no reason other than for people to project their trauma onto a group of people that haven't hurt them. we can't let down our family like that. it affects us all. we are stronger together and the nonbinary communities become more nuanced and develop better resources and enable all trans voices as opposed to 1 very specific type of trans person

thank you for this ask, sorry for such a long winded reply but i am so sick of people being awful to amab trans people in general. you deserve to be able to be non binary openly and talk about it with other queer people. i hope you're able to find safer spaces to be who you are, you deserve that just like any other queer person. you don't deserve to feel like you're walking on eggshells the entire time you're around other nonbinary people because you were assigned a different sex at birth, and you have different genitals than they do... that's literally antithetical to transness as a concept and queer community on the whole

you don't have to adhere to a strict binary just because you are amab and trans, i hate how people tell you and other folks in your shoes those exact things. you know who you are, you are a non binary person, and i hope more people begin to challenge this behavior and speak up for others, because this is literally not queer community. this is petty infighting being influenced by transmisogynist politics that does not belong. that has nothing to do with queer community, that is an attempt by radfems to disassemble our community at every possible level.

please for the love of god stop giving them that. it's hurting us all

[theraddestfemalive]

Y’know what? Fuck it. I’m going to say this

I don’t think any non-gc or tra lib gives a fuck about what im about to say, even considering that im going to tag the cr fandom.

I’m only adding one radfem tag because this post is centered around another topic.

i feel like ever since the trans population has tripled, it hasn’t been the same. Before any of you cucks think im talking about the idea of being trans, im also talking about the community behind it. Their ideas within the concept of it.

the concept of being ‘transgender’ was built on the foundation of sexist stereotypes; although the origins had a different purpose in ancient societies (varying ofcourse), it was ultimately used as a weapon to oppress women in the modern times, the goal was to make a person ‘feel’ like a male or female and now trillions of micro labels and gender identities are used to describe people who feel slightly above the normal and they’re treated as if they’re some kind of clothes that you put on instead of an identity.

Because of this, most people don’t even know what a woman or a lesbian is. They try to replace the definition of something that was exclusive to one sex to cater to the whims of men.

Ever since last year, most my friends that weren’t into that shit now identify as trans and I saw a dramatic shift in their personality. Most if not all of them were autistic women that did not conform of societal standards of what a ‘woman’ is. Some people may argue it’s because of how lightly a transgender identity is perceived. But on my end, I think it also has to do with the lack of representation of quirky female characters in media.

likely I would’ve fit into one of those micro labels or some shit like that but I was lucky enough to discover characters and things that I aligned with so I didn’t have to deal with shitty gender dysphoria (alongside with my very obvious mental issues and me being neurodivergent myself)

When I look at the older cookie run art (2016-2021), or even from eastern countries (eastern countries aren’t really politically correct) I could truly see the characters in the scene. There is passion behind it. The artists are either older or they know what they’re doing. And it doesn’t seem like an overload

when I see newer cookie run ‘fanart’ esp when there’s a lot of people within the western community, I don’t see a lot of what the characters truly are. All I see is their interpretation of what their character would look like if it was an unoriginal copy of a 14 year old gendie’s oc. Alongside with that, they add a thousand headcanons and sexualities, making the character unrecognizable. And if that wasn’t the cherry on top, they’re so obsessed with lgbtq and race stuff (no im not a bigot, don’t even try to fucking label me as one im a bisexual woc ) that’s all what they talk about besides stupid discourse topics. Oh, and also changing a dough color is ‘racist’ (they’re fucking COOKIES. Their dough color was based off of their ingredients and complimentary colors, even the devs had to explain and yet the western community still bitches about it like whiny 5 year olds. They come in all colors, not just fucking skintones.)

I think the characters and ships of the community would be much more likable for me if it wasn’t infiltrated by the discourse gang.

I think instead of giving drugs and cosmetic surgery to children, we should get deeper into the psychology of why there’s a lot of trans people on the rise. Don’t you think it’s weird that it has to be an ‘urgency’ to get surgery or children will kts? Maybe instead of thinking it as a life or death situation, think of how most of these people are mentally ill compared to the other lgbtq demographics.

I probably sound like a fucking dick here and im going to get a lot of hateful notes and messages, but honestly.. idgaf

Before you water this down to ‘trans people bad’ im just highlighting the problems of their community and its immense effect on teens my age (13-15 age range im not telling you) before dickriding the movement, I think *again* we should get deeper into the psychology of these people, thank you for reading.

maybe one or two people know who i am because of the image i will show below, who cares lol

i will block if I receive any threats :)))

[rivetgoth]

I’ve definitely expressed this sentiment before more eloquently but oh my god can y’all stop conflating being a GNC trans man with being a pre/non-transitioning trans man who is perceived and treated as a gender conforming cis woman. I’m not in the business of invalidating identity and I don’t think there’s something wrong with presenting in such a way or whatever but it’s INSANE how often I see takes that are like “being a gnc trans man means nobody will ever see you as your actual gender and you’re doomed to be misgendered and invalidated forever“ with a billion notes when like. Dude I go out in club clothes like fishnets and short shorts and crop tops and a full face of makeup and I’m read as a man. I have had bouncers not believe my ID is really mine because I hadn’t changed it yet lol. Like I know it’s the hot word on here right now but I have been called a faggot like… in real life 😭 And I am immediately treated as an effeminate man even when I’m just in jeans and a button down. People read me as and presume me to be a queer man when I’m just in my work clothes. Like I’m not sure how to say this tactfully but it’s kinda insane to me to see how allergic trans internet is to suggesting that trans men are capable of actually passing as men without being some extreme caricature of masculinity and anything other than looking like FTM Arnold Schwarzenegger will get you instantly she/her’d. Like cis gay men are just privy to some special kind of gender nonconformity where they’re he/him’d in makeup but trans men will just never have that privilege. Hello.

[daezedglownut]

I thought I’d already found all the possible little hints in XI that Sylvando/Sylvia is trans-coded.

There’s the throwaway party chat line at the French private school:

Ah, to travel from place to place collecting mini medals, learning all about the world and blossoming into lovely young ladies! The students of this school are so lucky!

If we find any mini medals on our travels, we should bring them back here right away so that we can blossom into lovely ladies too! Wouldn’t that be wonderful, honey?

There’s the fact that Sylv in Act 2 bends down to pick up items in the exact same way the girls at the academy practice with mini medals, echoing the statue at the gates of ‘La Collectrice’ - “an elegant young lady picking up a gold medal in a distinctly dignified fashion”.

Very demure. Very mindful.

There’s also the name angle to consider. Though it could be argued that if you leave home and don’t want news of where you are getting back to your dad, you’d probably go by a pseudonym or a stage name. So I don’t think that Sylvando/Sylvia not going by Norberto is a very strong piece of evidence at all.

Adding to that, the fact he ran away from home could yet be seen as a gay young man running away because he didn’t feel accepted at home. But it could also be a trans character doing the exact same thing, so I’d say it’s still very plausible. Not to mention Sylvando inadvertently following in his mother’s footsteps during Act 2 with his gang of gay little ducklings, as mentioned by the Ringmaster is actually a really cute detail, however you want to slice it:

I saw her when I was just a child. She was simply the most incredible performer… She led a parade of people out of a kingdom destroyed by monsters, and on to a new home and a brighter future. And she kept them smiling from start to finish! You can’t imagine how inspirational it was for those of us who were lucky enough to wave them on their way.

You remind me of her, you know. The look on her face as she proudly led all those people out of danger, spreading joy and laughter wherever she went…

Then there’s the fact Sylvando/Sylvia goes by female pronouns in the JP version of the game. Again, not concrete evidence based on the fact that “extremely flamboyant gay male characters” in JP media are often (sadly) treated in the exact same way, reducing them to a comic relief sort of “hodgepodge mix of everything queer” Okama stereotype. This doesn’t erase their cisness or their homosexuality. But I can see why from a western viewpoint it might seem like really strong evidence of their transness when it’s something particular to Japan that got lost in translation. The closest comparison I can think to make to “make it make sense” is in the west where gay femme—but entirely cis—males call one another “she” and “her”.

However, I found what could be the most concrete “HEAR ME OUT” evidence completely by accident:

Boxer shorts are a common suit of armor in the Dragon Quest series. They are generally considered a gag piece of equipment notable for their low defensive properties and they can only be worn by male characters.

And wouldn’t you know it, only the Luminary, Erik, Rab, and Hendrik can equip the boxer shorts in XI…

I checked.

Now. I don’t want to say this is canonical or 100% proof by any means. Sylvando could just be a flamboyantly gay man who has too much self respect than to be seen dead in those striped monstrosities. After all, I can’t imagine someone like Jasper would deign to equip them either lol

What I love most about Sylvando/Sylvia is how open to interpretation the character is. I’ve seen so many conflicting theories that are all written beautifully, and all hold merit. (I myself enjoy dabbling with how I interpret the character depending on the needs of the story I’m writing, and whatever tf my gender is doing on any given day…)

And the best thing about Sylvando/Sylvia is the overwhelmingly positive reception to the character from fans. How Sylv could’ve been a cheap throwaway gag without substance, yet arguably became the character who ‘stole the show’ at every turn and got some of the best storylines.

In the end, I didn’t want to save the world for the rest of Erdrea - I just wanted to do it so Sylv could go home and make up for lost time with his adorable, crotchety dad! 🥺💕