#and all of that for the sake of… what? humanizing the stalker? setting up a plot point that won’t resolve for years

[lincolndjarin]

fine art

javi gutierrez x moviestar!reader - installment #1 of sparrow's spectacles

main masterlist - other spectacles - kofi

summary : you were an up and coming actress, javi is your biggest fan, he'd do anything to have meet you.

word count : 3.9k

warnings, tags : dead dove do not eat, !! dark fic !! mdni 18+, noncon, stalker!javi, kidnapping, capture, stockholm syndrome, m&f masturbation, sex toys, briefly mentioned periods, exhibitionism, voyurism, so much internal thought processing regarding readers situation, briefly referenced suicide, reader is undescribed other than briefly being mentioned as young in her acting career, in my head she's late twenties, probs other tags i missed sorry. tldr: you have spent so much time with javi against your will that you unwillingly start fantasizing about him and give in to destructive urges in an attempt to escape him, everything is bad here.

a/n : is this stupid and probably bad? who knows, i have a terrible sense of self judgement lately so i'm just gonna post this and hope it's good. also can you tell that i blatantly stole the set from You LMAO. anyhow this is the first installment of my little 'horror' series. but it's less horror and more just odd little stories i wanted to write tbh

Desk, bed, lamp, television, door, chair.

Desk, bed, lamp, television, door, chair.

Desk, bed, lamp, television, door, chair.

On days where you’re feeling particularly bored you list the things you can see. Unfortunately for you, your surroundings rarely change. Of course you could change that, if you asked him for something he’d give it to you, anything you wanted. Unless of course it was something he thought you could hurt yourself with or contact the outside world with. 

You didn’t often ask. 

Whenever you can have a conversation with him he always says the same thing. 

“If you stopped being so stubborn you might actually be happy.” 

“I would do anything for you.” “Then let me out.” “Anything but that.” 

“It’s not as terrible as you make it out to be. It isn’t an actual cage, it isn’t so bad.” 

So you don’t talk to him unless you have to. 

But some days you’re just so painfully, agonizingly, bored and you can’t help yourself. So you scream at him, or you pound on the unyielding plexiglass, or you hold your hand up against it, hoping he’ll touch the other side and you can briefly imagine yourself having physical contact with another human being. 

Sometimes you’ll even play his games. 

You’ll read the scripts he slides through the small square opening in the cage that can’t be more than a foot wide, and act out scenes with him simply because it gives you something to do and for fucks sake you’re desperate for something to do. It’s so easy to get caught up in him, if it wasn’t so easy you’d probably let yourself do it more often, thankfully, it’s so fucking scary. If you spend too much time in the box you’re worried that eventually you’ll forget that you aren’t a doll and you'll grow to like your box. So you do your damndest to maintain a wall between the two of you, but when that wall is glass it is destined to break eventually. So you scream and you fight until you get tired, and then you let the walls down as you rest, before returning to your struggle. And everytime you let the walls down they take longer to put back up. 

At the end of the day it never matters how you treat him, he loves you all the same. 

Even on days where you scream your throat raw and throw your furniture against the walls, if you ask him to get you takeout from your favorite restaurant, or watch a movie with you, he always will. You asked him about it once. Why didn't he just make you do what he wanted? Why didn’t he just make you obey? He had looked genuinely offended, as if he couldn’t believe you thought him capable of such a thing. 

And he told you that he loved you.

More than anything. 

That you were his most prized possession. 

That he would never do anything to hurt you, it would be like if he were angry and he threw a priceless vase, the only person it would hurt is himself. 

You had nodded as if he was making any sense and you’d turned back to the movie he’d picked out. 

You were a vase. 

You were a collectible. 

A priceless, collectable. He kept you in perfect condition and never took you out of the box. Not even to play with you himself. A small, rather demented part of you, is starting to wish that he would. Of course you don’t want him to force himself upon you, you aren’t that far gone. (Yet.) But it’s been so long since you’ve touched another person. You would give your left arm just to be held. If your calendar serves you well, it’s been just over two years since you last saw someone who wasn’t Javi. 

And Javi wouldn’t touch you. 

Not ever. You were too perfect to be defiled in such a way. He would sometimes hold his hand against the glass when you held up your own, he even kissed you through it once. (Although it had been rather awkward and neither one of you ever talked about it again.) But he never touched you. 

Sometimes you can’t help but wonder what would have happened if you’d met Javi in a social setting. He is rather handsome, and though you hate to admit it, when he isn’t leering he’s almost charming. 

Almost.

Everyday you slip further into the fantasy where Javi does something to break up the monotony. Is that his goal? To make you so desperate for human connection that you eventually snap and beg him to touch you? You shudder as you wonder how long that would take. After the first year you stopped wondering what would happen when he got bored of you. You know deep down that that will never happen. If anything his devotion  for you only continues to grow with each passing day. If it’s possible he probably loves you more now then he did at the start of your stay here. Despite everything he takes care of you, in his own strange sort of way. 

Like how he tracks your cycle, always making sure you have anything you need on those days. Sometimes he even knows it’s starting before you do, he’ll bring you baskets with blankets and candy and any other little trinket or gift he saw that made him think of you. 

Jewelry, little plush toys, and books. Anything to try and make you feel anything other than the misery that constantly loomed over you as you waited for his next visit. He never goes more than a few days without seeing you and he always apologizes when he does. He returns with your favorite shampoo or lotion to make it up to you, but it never really changes how you feel about him. It’s nice to fantasize a world in which you enjoy your only source of company but you’re careful to never let that fantasy bleed into reality. 

If he were actually your partner you’d have locked him down ages ago. A part of you knows that he doesn’t want that kind of relationship with you though. He doesn’t want a girlfriend, you’re much more than that. You’re more like a goddess in a cage to him than an actual human being. A beloved pet bird. It’s clear he feels something more than simple love for you. It’s a devotion, a conscious effort to worship you. 

You are to be kept in pristine condition. 

Of course that doesn’t mean he can’t look. 

Two and a half years. 

That’s how long it took for the looking to escalate into something more. You were watching a movie. 

50 First Dates

You had picked it out, Javi liked action movies but would never complain when you wanted to watch a rom-com. You were on your bed, curled up under the blankets in a hoodie and sweatpants. You haven’t worn makeup since he took you, you rarely brushed your hair, you never put much thought into your appearance, and Javi wouldn’t give you a mirror. 

You had one, a long time ago. Within the first week you’d smashed it, threatening to slit your own throat if he didn’t let you out. All that resulted in was you no longer being allowed to have breakables. Plastic cutlery and paper plates were wordlessly passed to you from that point forward.

You had been watching in silence, he sat on the couch outside the cage like he always did and it wasn’t until you heard a shuddering groan that you turned around to see him kneeling beside the cage, one hand pressed up against the glass, steadying himself, the other wrapped around his cock.  

You were frozen in place. 

What are you supposed to do in that situation? 

You watched, slack jawed as he took his time. His gaze made you feel naked, like he could see through the layers of blankets and baggy clothing. 

He had looked you in the eye when he finished. Briefly staring wide eyed before his eyes squeezed shut and with a long, drawn out moan and a strained cry of your name. His cum painted the glass and before you could form any sort of response he was already stuffing himself back into his pants and standing. You want to say something, anything. Something to hold him accountable for what he just did, but you can’t think of anything, and he’s already leaving. 

Before you can even blink he’s gone, without so much as a glance in your direction. And you’re left alone, in the lamp light, unable to escape the sight of his filth on the glass. Covering your head with a blanket as you waited for it to be late enough for the power to cut out and leave you in a safe, and comfortable darkness. 

A part of you hoped that the white speckles would be gone when you woke up but you weren’t that lucky. 

You faced away from that wall, with your head buried in a book until you looked at the clock and knew it was almost time to face him again. When he returned he had an aura of shame around himself, his arms were full of grocery bags and his eyes were red rimmed and teary. 

“I’m so sorry- I just- I love you so much, I don’t know what came over me.” If this was a normal relationship and the two of you had maybe gotten into an argument or something you would have forgiven him. After all he looked genuinely remorseful as he stared at you, going through the bags before setting down several takeout containers with labels you recognized. He had gone out and gotten all your favorites. Your favorite fast food place, as well as a high end chinese restaurant you loved for special occasions, and a clear plastic case with a slice of your favorite flavored cake from a small bakery near your apartment that you frequented. (You’d never asked him to get you anything from there before, you’d never even mentioned the place to him.) 

Through his mumbled apologies he set down your favorite bubble tea flavor and a water bottle. 

He had passed everything to you through the opening in the cage with trembling hands as he sniffled. Once you had everything he sprayed the drying remnants of his release with Windex, pulling several paper towels off the roll and wiping it until it was as if it never happened. By the time he was finished his cheeks were red and big tears rolled down his face. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Before you can stop yourself you’re comforting him, as if he’s the victim in this situation. 

“It’s not okay, I don’t want you to think that that’s why you’re here.” He mumbles sadly, letting his forehead hit the glass. Through your disgust for your own words you sense something else.

Opportunity. 

The only chance you’re going to get for escape involves him unlocking the door. Something he hasn’t done since he put you in here in the first place. You’ve tried in the past. Not often, there weren’t very many chances, you had everything you needed here, running water and a bathroom, any other sustenance was provided by him through the little opening. There was so rarely an opportunity, and when there were he always anticipated your plans before you got to put them into motion. But you’ve never tried deception. You think you would have, considering you’re an actress but it had never crossed your mind until just now. You can’t half ass this though. If you decide to do this you will get one chance to do it right. 

Go big or go home. 

“No really, it’s okay. It’s sort of… flattering.” His face drops the second you say it and regret starts creeping in. You’re going to die here. He’s going to keep you here until the day you die and no one will ever know what happened to you. A young starlight, taken out in her prime. 

“It’s not, it’s disgusting.” He tosses the paper towels away, sniffling to himself as he stands with his hands clasped in front of him, swaying anxiously back and forth. You take a seat on your bed across from him, fighting the urge to put your hand on the glass. You don’t want to lay it on too thick, he’ll see right through that. 

“It’s fine, it’s- it’s natural.” You’re struggling to find the right words that make it feel real. At one point you were a rather talented actress but you’re out of practice. “Seriously. Especially from you. It’s really sweet.” Fuck, are you doing too much?

He doesn’t respond. Instead, he chews his lip as he stares at you, you can tell he’s skeptical. He should be. You so rarely speak to him and when you do it’s never to be kind. 

“Actions speak louder than words.” 

Someone said that in a movie Javi picked, you had sat and let him read the scene to you afterwards. 

He wants an actress, you can give him that. You can perform, as long as that’s all it is. If it’s a performance you can keep your wall up. You stumble off the bed, your legs feeling like jelly as you pull open the drawer on your nightstand. 

This plan feels stupider by the minute but you need to commit.

He didn’t gift you sex toys the way he did with other little things to make you happier. But they were always just sort of there. In their original packaging, shoved in your nightstand drawer with a few batteries he’d left as well, they’d been here when you woke up in the cage. You doubt you’ll be able to relax enough to do this without a little help, and you have to be convincing. If you aren’t believable he’s unlikely to trust you in the future. If you fuck this up now you’ll never get another chance. 

It’s a pale pink rabbit. You’d probably never buy something like it for yourself, it looks… expensive. The silicone is smooth against your fingers as you rip open the packaging, twisting the base open to pop in two batteries. Rushing in an attempt to not lose your nerve. When you gather your courage you risk a glance up at him, just fast enough to watch his tongue dart out and wet his lips.

So he does want this. 

Good. 

Pressing the button on the toy makes it buzz to life.  

Okay. 

This isn’t so bad. It’s just masturbating, if you do this for him you can take advantage of the obvious attraction he has for you. Even if it doesn’t work immediately, eventually this ends with him letting you out, or at the very least letting himself in, which is all you need. 

So you get back into bed, and you lean on a stack of pillows before really focusing on him. 

And you ask him the question he didn’t bother to ask you.

“Is this okay?” You hope the trembling in your voice comes off as endearing. 

His throat bobs as he nods. Maybe he doesn’t mind that you’ve been laying it on a little thick. Maybe you’ve denied him your affections for so long that he doesn’t want to risk rejecting any advance from you. No matter how out of the blue it seems/.

You push your sweats down to your ankles before kicking them off the bed. No time for embarrassment or regret now, if he senses hesitation none of this will be worth it. He’s moved to be sitting on the couch directly outside the cage now. His knees pressed together as he sits with his hands in his lap, looking almost comically polite. 

No sense putting off the inevitable. 

It’s been a while, there’s a camera in the corner of the cage so you don’t masturbate often, and when you do it’s late at night, once the lights are off and you can hide under your blanket. You can’t do that now though, that would defeat the purpose. 

You leave the toy off as you shove it down the front of your panties. Pressing the soft head of it against your slit, finding it surprisingly easy to tease your entrance with it. 

Are you wet? 

It’s been a while, that’s why. 

Javi certainly hasn’t wasted any time. If he were sitting any closer he’d be fogging up the glass, his hand is shoved down his pants, his face already flushed red. His usual rigid posture is lost as he leans back into the couch cushions, refusing to tear his eyes off of you. Pulling your bottom lip between your teeth you push the toy into you, holding back a gasp as you swallow. At least it feels sort of good. Good enough to make you wish you’d swallowed your pride and used this before today. 

Your body moves instinctually as your free hand reaches forward to push your panties down and turn the vibe on in one motion, the silicone attachment pressing against your clit as you press the toy deeper into your pussy. It’s a little too easy to relax suddenly. Javi now slowly strokes himself, his cock in his hand, looking painfully hard as he squeezes the base of his shaft, almost as if he’s scared of blowing his load too soon. 

Good. 

The less time it takes the better. 

At least that’s what you tell yourself as you angle the toy, letting the tip of it brush against your g-spot and drawing an authentic moan from you. Fighting the urge to cover your mouth in surprise, you repeat the motion. The combination of sensations making your toes curl and your back arch into the mattress. 

“Fuck-” Your voice catches in your throat, your fingers twitch against the button to turn the vibrations up a level. 

Once you find your rhythm it’s easy to forget about the nerves and what’s at stake. It’s easy to get lost in the sensation and the sight of Javi shuddering as he gasps. It’s easy to focus on the attractive parts of him for a brief moment, to make things easier. And it’s easy to wonder if his cock would feel better than the toy that hums and makes your body tense up deliciously. 

It’s actually terrifying how easy it is. 

It’s enough to make you horrified for just a split second. He wasn’t lying when he said you could be happy if you stopped fighting. Twisted into the pleasure you’re feeling is something else. Relief. Relief for the peace you find when you stop fighting him. You could feel this good all the time if you wanted, you and Javi could have your favorite food for dinner, you could watch your favorite movies, and act out your favorite scenes. 

You could feel good. 

You could have nights like these where you watch him jerk off his pretty, thick cock and know that someone loves you enough to take care of you like this. You could let him buy you pretty things and toys that make you feel so so so good. 

And that thought terrifies you. 

If you stayed in this cage you would eventually become entirely complacent. 

It might not be tomorrow, or next week, or next year, but eventually.

You will be happy to flutter about your cage once you’ve forgotten how to fly. 

His pretty little bird. 

It’s your orgasm that snaps you out of that living nightmare. You hadn’t even realized you’d still been fucking the toy, pleasuring yourself to that little daydream. This wasn’t a good idea and you shouldn’t have done it but it’s too late for that now especially when you’re groaning out his name as you remove the still buzzing toy, now slick with your wetness. Javi’s eyes are wide as he clearly can’t hold back any longer as he dirties his shirt and pants with his own release. 

As you quickly reach for the toy, turning it off, you pull your panties up in a hurry. Maybe you should push your luck and ask him to come into the cage now. A sense of dread is settling in your stomach as you realize that you can’t be here much longer, who knows how quickly you’ll crumble if you keep letting yourself do this. It’s best to make this a swift process where you don’t have any more time to sink into the hell that is acceptance of these four glass walls. 

You’re about to do it. About to tell him that he should join you, that it would feel better for the both of you if he was in the cage as well but you don’t get a chance to as he zips his pants back up.

“Go to bed, when you’re asleep I’m gonna leave you a gift.” He stands abruptly, giving you a reassuring smile before pressing his hand up to the glass. You don’t hesitate to crawl up the length of the bed and press your own to his, it’s brief but you can feel the connection here. 

This is just the beginning. 

After today you’ll put more effort in. You’ll make it happen and you’ll make it happen fast. You can put the time and effort in, it’s not like you have anything better to do. You’ll convince him that it’s real before you lose yourself entirely and when the day finally comes where he opens the door you won’t waste the opportunity. 

You’ll leave your room. 

You can figure out the logistics of it later but for now you take the sleeping pill he slides through the opening every night he visits. You don’t usually take it but you need sleep and this will be easier if he thinks you’re compliant. With a sip of your drink the little pill goes down and your eyes close. 

And you dream that you’re a bird, flying through a blue sky.  

You sleep better than you ever have before in the cage. 

Until you wake, the lamp being on is the only indicator you have that it’s daytime. Your hair stands on end as you sit up. He was here. Things have been moved, little things, noticeable things. Your empty drink is tossed in the bin and it smells of cleaning supplies. He doesn’t ever come inside the cage, that goes against everything he tells you. Your head is spinning as you try to figure out what’s different. How long were you out? The pills have never made you feel this fuzzy before on the rare occasions that you’ve taken them, you do your best to focus but it’s difficult when everything’s so muddled. So you do the one thing you know will clear your head and you list the things you see. 

Desk, bed, lamp, television, chair.

Something’s wrong, different. 

He said he was going to give you a gift. What the fuck did he do? Did he leave it in here? Was it too big to fit through the opening? Is that why he came into the cage? 

You don’t catch it immediately, but there is a note taped to the inside of the glass. 

I knew you’d learn to be happy : ) 

See you tonight.

Love, Javi 

You look back around the room, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Desk, bed, lamp, television, chair.

Desk, bed, lamp, television, chair.

Desk, bed, lamp, television, chair.

Oh. 

i no longer have a tag list, follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates on my writing!!

[cephalon-celaeno]

update i REALLY didn’t like this quest. it’s just that usually i consider warframe to be a game with extremely competent writing and this is… hmm. not.

huh! I already knew I wouldn’t like this quest so my opinion doesn’t count but I don’t like this quest!

[constesplanetarium]

✩╔═*.·:·.✧✦✧.·:·.*═╗✩

Scales Scraping against Wood.

☾⚠︎ Stalker Naga x GN! Researcher-ish Reader

✩╚═*.·:·.✧✦✧.·:·.*═╝✩

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

a/n: something small, more in notes at the bottom. this is my first oc fic not made for tumblr, but instead, one i made on my own time :)

Darkness: 2/10: "The smallest mention ever."

TW!!! Light Yandere shenanigans (possessiveness, stalking, collecting your fallen things as a collection.).

Word count: around 800

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

Dark brown eyes look your way as the leaves and twigs crunch under you with every step. Shame you haven’t noticed him yet, up there in the trees, his pale white hands grasping onto the branches as he hopes, for just a little, that you’ll look his way. His tail flicks back and forth happily as he sees that adorable smile on your face that he loves so dear.

Humans never venture into this part of the forest, that he knows, so it’s intriguing to find you here, observing the wildlife without a care. Whether it be nagas like himself, or orcs, or even werewolves, you’ve seen it. Even more, this isn’t your first time. You don't even know about the poisonous, and perhaps carnivorous flowers that lie deep down here, do you? How silly.

Why do the other species get your attention, but not him? Why not?

Maybe one day you’ll observe him from afar, just like he’s watching you now.

White strands of hair fall off his shoulders as he stares at you dreamily, claws scraping at the darkened bark as his white tail, speckled with dark orange and brown, curls around the branch in content as you pick and peer at the daffodils, writing down some things in your small journal, than plucking some up and setting them into your basket.

What he would do for just a peek into your head…

Just a small one. It’s all he needs.

Having lived for so long, humans come and go everyday that passes, as he’s witnessed first hand, but why’re you still here? Why do you keep coming back after all of these days? What’s the purpose? To just gaze at the flowers? It must be more than that, surely.

Medicinal purposes, maybe? Or just for the sake of it?

He jolts up, breaking out of his daydream-like state to see you wandering off again, humming that familiar tune he’s heard from you before.

A wince forms and twitches on his face as he watches you go farther, and farther away from him, claws digging into the branch with frustration. You might hear him if he moves from branch to branch, so maybe moving on the ground is a bit better…

His eyes stay put on you for just a bit longer, watching you bend down to pluck up more flowers and herbs, and you set them down into the basket.

Finally, after some time, he sprawls out his body slowly against the trunk of the tree, claws digging into the bark as he starts to slither down.

The branch feels weak around his tail. Ah, wait, the branch-!

The branch snaps loudly as it falls to the ground with a thud, and you look around as your eyes dart to it, shakily grasping your journal harder as you fidget with the basket in your other hand, rising up onto your feet to make a run for it.

“Wait.” He tries to murmur, reaching a hand out to you, but before he can even get a syllable out, you’re already running away in fear, slipping onto some mud, in which the basket tosses itself out of your grasp. You wince, yet swiftly get up and run off, leaving the basket in fear of your life.

… How pitiful. How unlucky.

Or maybe not unlucky?

It looks like you left a small gift for him.

Slithering down the tree, he gazes dreamily at the fallen flowers on the ground, covered in dirt and mud with the basket beside it all. With a small look around to make sure no one's nearby, he scoops up the flowers and tosses them back into the basket, snatching the handle up. If only you had dropped your journal too…

Well, it doesn’t matter.

Wiping the filth and muck off the petals of each flower with a finger, and flicking it onto the ground, he holds a daffodil up to the sun, small bits of sunshine raying through the petals. He twists it around as the petals become semi-transparent due to the light. How pretty.

Oh, he got so lucky today, to finally have a small piece of you, after watching you for all these days and nights.

Hopefully, you do come back to the forest sometime soon. Did he scare you too much? Ah, what a terrible thing to think about! No way! No way, no way, no way! You’ll come back, won’t you?

Right?

Right? You will, right? Won’t you? He could even give you a small bunch of flowers from deeper inside the forest, so much deeper that no human in their right mind would go there! No one else would ever do that for you, so it makes him special. So, so, very special. And you're so special to him too, even from afar.

Without even noticing it, the flower he was holding has been crushed and ripped beyond repair, his twitching hands wrapped tightly around the basket as he fights back the urge to chase you, never stopping until he finally gets the chance to wrap his arms around you.

Please, do come back.

ミ★ 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴. ★彡

heyy, im back again, sorry for leaving :( i'm trying to get back into the swing of things, but it might take me some time.

it wasn’t burnout, i just had a really big disinterest in writing ever since thanksgiving, and i think its mainly bc of lack of ideas, but also restricting myself to that yandere label, so i think ima branch out a bit from here on out :)

still expect yandere’s though!!!

also i’ve been watching jujutsu kaisen recently, but lets not talk abt that…

[angelkissiies]

- brat

abby anderson x reader drabble

nsfw (tension mainly | primal kink | dom!abby) | tiny angst

“are you kidding me, (y/n)?” abby grunted, throwing her bag onto the floor as the two of you entered your room. she’d been too quiet on the way back after the incident which usually meant she was pissed, which you’d began to put together once she’d practically dragged you through the compound. “i mean, what were you thinking? were you even thinking?”

you knew the moment it happened that you’d fucked up, but despite the urge you had to let her win the argument you’d caused, you scoffed. whilst you knew grabbing the stalker as you did was stupid, it worked. you’d bore witness to it working, seeing as you were still alive. though, you couldn’t quite shake the image of abby’s horrified face out of your head- but that fear turned into anger before you’d been able to react. she kept her cool around the others, only muttering a snippy comment under her breath before moving on.

“abby, give me a break. okay? i’m alive, aren’t I?” you huffed, sitting down on the edge of your shared bed to unlace your boots. you didn’t even dare to look at her, slightly nervous at the way she’d react to your given backlash due to her overprotectiveness.

you heard her choke out a noise of surprise, followed by a short laugh. “god, i asked you to do one thing, (y/n). just one!” she struck, pacing around the same stretch of floor as she spoke. “all i asked was for you to not engage with them, and what did you fucking do?”

the color rushed to your face, heart hammering at her harsh words. whilst inside you knew they came from a place of love, you were only human, the anger bubbled inside of you until finally it spilt over the edge. “christs sake, abby. you’re not my fucking mom, i can take care of myself.” you spit, standing up to face her fully (even though to be quite frank, you had to look up which ruined the defiant mood you’d set.)

“you are such a fucking brat.”

her words went straight to your cunt, almost instantly clouding your anger with a lustful haze only she knew how to bring out of you. you wanted to be angry, you wanted to find something to clap back at her with but you came up empty. mind occupied on the way her eyes burned into your own, making you unconsciously take a step back.

“what? nothing smart to say now?” she prodded, raising an eyebrow slightly as she took a step forward, trapping you between the edge of the bed and her body.

instinctively, you looked down wanting to break the spell she had entranced you with. her crystalline eyes had a bad habit of trapping you within, holding you hostage to your own devious thoughts of her.

“look at me when i’m talking to you.” she growled, her hand coming up to tip your chin upwards. you now had no choice but to lock eyes with the girl, finding them to be filled with a fire you knew better than anyone else. one not of anger, no she wasn’t angry anymore, she was looking at you with the hunger of a predator. “you don’t want to be a brat anymore?”

you shook your head gently, swallowing roughly as your mouth ran dry.

you had become her prey.

[argentoheart]

i just watched the mlb movie and i have THINGS to say. this is gonna be veeery rambly so pardon in advance.

Also be warned, this contains spoilers (not to much in the first part, but at the bottom) (long post so i'm cutting it)

First things first!! I absolutely loved the animation, it's really good and the backgrounds and settings felt so real and alive! (and there are actual people walking the streets of Paris A WIN!) Plus the characters felt, again, so alive and realistic! They're all pretty, and I love the expressions they make, they're not overly exaggerated like in the series and I think it just fits better with the story and visuals in this case. I HAVE to mention Chloè, my girl was looking so pretty and gorgeous, like i'm sorry that's my child i will love her forever and i don't care they discarded her redemption arc, she has one IN MY HEART you cannot change my mind!! and i appreciated Sabrina a lot more, that too, she's kinda nice.

Marinette was actually just awkward and clumsy without being borderline a stalker and i love her so much, i really really like this Marinette, she's nice and sweet and has actual development and growth that feels realistic.

Adrien was even more different than his show counterpart but honestly? he's such a lovable boy here too! it felt like they were trying to incorporate more of his chatnoir-esque sides into the og Adrien, and i think it balances perfectly.

I really ADORED how they managed the dynamic between Ladybug and Chatnoir, it was cute, fun and full of tension, I wish we could've seen more of them being kind of frenemies in the show, it really builds up their relationship better and who doesn't love rivals to lovers?

The Adrienette dynamic was cute too, i feel like Marinette being less "crazy" was the best choice to push their relationship forward without making it look forced or rushed. Very very nice!!!

As for Plagg and Tikki i don't really know how I feel about them? Like Plagg was barely in the movie and he didn't do much other than eating, farting and complaining he was hungry (seriously, movie?). I don't want to say he's completely different from show Plagg, but I feel like they didn't do him justice. Tikki, well, I liked her. Definitely less sensible than show Tikki, but I still think it makes sense for her to be a little reckless, she's literally the kwami of creation, she probably thinks she can fix anything if it goes wrong (and that would also be kinda right, sooo).

I actually also liked Gabriel for a change, too. It reminded my of early seasons Gabriel, with all his humanity and just wanting his wife back, and not just the villain who's evil just for the sake of evilness. They brought him back as a three-dimensional with a purpose and regrets. I truly believe this is what Gabriel should've always been.

I am very confused about Emilie's body being there, i thought the movie was a one-shot, but it feels like this is a tie for a sequel maybe?

Also i was wondering why Marinette never used her lucky charm in the beginning only to realize she doesn't have that power here LMAO

NOW TO THE JUICY PART

SO

THE LOVE SQUARE WAS RESOLVED

I couldn't believe my eyes, I was in SHOCK when i realized Marinette saw Chatnoir without his mask and heard him call Gabriel dad and I literally thought nothing was gonna come out of it because it felt impossible BUT THEN she goes and calls his Chatnoir during the ball and reveals herself and I really didn't think we were gonna make it this far tbh adskdsdfh i was squealing and just rejoycing.

Then they still robbed me of the kiss. WHY MUST I ALWAYS SUFFER AT THE HAND OF THIS SHOW WHY

Overall I LOVED the movie, the only thing i didn't really like was the songs. Don't get me wrong, they're good songs and i actually really like some of them, but it just felt like there were way too many and interrupted the flow of the show in awkward places. So it's a meh, I think the movie could've done with less songs, but it still was very enjoyable, and as I said I very much liked it.

[fernrisulfr]

Bolverk

Having gotten passed the properly used (or intended to be used) characters, we now trickle down into the “good idea” pile. These are concepts that are largely fleshed out (With room to fiddle dependent on the setting) and just waiting to be used. The first is a character named Bolverk who I thought up a very long time ago.

Fighter (Rune Knight*)/Ranger (Monster Slayer) - Anthropologist - Half-Orc - Backstory Concept: Born in a small farming village on the outskirts of civilization, pressed against the mountains, his birth came about as many half-orcs do, for the sake of politics. Under constant threat by a nearby band of Orcs, the human villagers were able to strike up a deal. Not exactly an alliance, but more of a non-aggression pact; not that the orcs had anything to fear from a village populated mostly my trappers and farmers. The orcs seemed to accept due to being on the tail end of a bad winter, low supplies and disease having impacted their numbers. In order to seal the pact, each side would one of their number to pair off and conceive a child, with that child acting as a diplomat between both sides in the future. The villagers for their part offered up a farmer, a mountain of a man who was the only human among them large enough to look an orc directly in the eye. They had hoped by providing someone physically capable, they'd be able to please the orcs and strengthen the pact. For the orcs part they offered up a woman heavy with scars, only barely shorter than her counterpart in this deal. The act was loveless and quick, but by luck or fate, bore fruit rather quickly. Thus -insert name here- was born. Raised for the first few years of his life amongst the Orcs, though he was made present during all interactions with the humans. Once he was old enough to learn, they began passing him back and forth between sides, expecting him to absorb the culture, language, and politics of both sides. This is not to say however, that he was passed between his mother and father. In fact he had very little interaction with either, excluding a few encounters during his lessons, and a few birthdays. On the humans side, he was instructed by the Village Chief, an aged and slightly tottering man, and the only one particularly capable of tutoring him in any sort of politics. Among the Orcs he was a taught by Drukvar, a scout and hunter with sharp senses, and a brusque personality, who likely would have throttled you for using a word as fancy as brusque.  All seemed to be progressing smoothly with both -insert name here-'s education, as well as the pact, until one night without warning, the Orcs attacked. Nothing and no one were spared from blade and flame, not even -insert name here- himself. Only through the unique nature of his mixed blood, did he survive the massacre of the village, and through it witness the victorious declarations of the the orcs new chieftain, Drukvar. The following morning, once he was certain the orcs had departed, -insert name here- salvaged what very little he could from the ashes of his former home, and set out in search of civilization, for there was none here.

Variant*: Fighter(Echo Knight)/Ranger (Gloom Stalker) - Anthropologist - Half-Orc -

Variant Backstory Concept: The Underdark is of danger, unimaginable horrors, and betrayal. -Insert name here- came about not by the union of human and orc, as do most of his kind, but rather the by drow and orgog. Under normal circumstances, the only thing that Drow share in common with any variation of Orc is the belief that their own race is superior to all others; however both have been known to form alliances in the face of true threats. In this particular case, the threat in question was an illithid hive which had begun to venture beyond it's normal domain. Rather than a proper city, the drow resided in something of a military outpost, meant to protect the city proper from the threats of the lower levels of the Underdark. In the orogs they saw some much needed muscle, as well as disposable meatshields to aid them against the encroaching threat. The orogs for their part had no more love for Illithids than any race, and understood that they presented a threat which couldn't be combated with physical prowess alone. Thus an alliance was forged, and to seal that deal, as well as aid in the future such arrangements, a child was born. They would have one of mixed blood act as an ambassador to both sides. Of course, the Drow are a Matriarchy, and the Orcs a Patriarchy, each treating the opposite gender as little more than trophies, pets, or tools. The situation was thus, rather more like two parties agreeing to breed dogs, with neither bringing their prized hound to the pen. For the Drow's part, they provided a lesser male, neither magically gifted nor particularly talented. He was promised advancement in their society should he perform well, all the more so should he produce a female through this conception. The orogs presented a woman with unblemished skin, and petite frame. Neither a good sign in orc society. From this pair, -insert name here- was born. He spent his first few years among the orogs, though his interaction with his mother ended the moment he was weened. The drow were disappointed both with his gender, and lack of visible magical talent, however he would suit their purposes. Thus from the moment he was old enough to learn, the two races passed him back and forth, instructing him in their language, customs, and culture. While -insert name here- was raised, the combined forces of the orogs and drow made several raids against the encroaching illithids. On the night of what was to be the final raid, the finale of a decade of skirmishes, the orogs attacked. The drow had, of course, always planned to betray the orogs of course, but they had been so utterly convinced in the superiority of their number and their mental superiorirty they never expected the orog to do the same. The outpost was overtaken in a single night, the drow there slaughtered or enslaved, -insert name here- only escaping due to hiding in a mound of corpses, and not intentionally. Once he was clear of the outpost he managed to reach the drow city of which the outpost had been connected, only to learn many harsh truths of the world. Drow had no love for a mixed blood of their race, particularly not a male, and the outpost was not as significant as he had been lead to believe. It was a place to send outcasts and undesirables, those whom could not be killed outright, or simply weren't worthy of the effort. The orog occupation was quite convenient in that sense. So it was that -insert name here- was cast out by both his people, but a Half-Orc does not die easily even in the Underdark. Having no reason to remain, he made his way to the surface, using the same skills he'd learned intending to be an ambassador in order to more easily mingle and mix in with other cultures.

Appearance: Uncertain height and weight, or even eye colour. Probably black hair hair (White for variant). Skin is probably reddish brown if not the traditional green. Variant would be black skinned because orog x drow. Definitely not a slab of meat, but strong enough. Which class I chose and what stats I rolled would be a factor. Definitely has a nice thick beard. 

[sortofanobsession]

hellooo previous anon asker here!

the story takes place in the first season (could be continued to the other seasons if you’d like) frenemies to lovers trope, reader goes by she/her pronouns and is also latina and part of the umbrella academy and the story alters through 3rd and 1st person pov? essentially she’s a badass and is besties with klaus and five? I don’t really know what a good power would be so you can have creative liberty with that. hopefully this was enough details, thanks! <3

Author's Note: I can very much work with this. I'm still working on a plot outline but here is the establishing info for the story. But before we get into that please keep a few things in mind...

The power set was initially a hang up for me, so many different fics uses various power sets and I didn't want to accidently be too similar. But I think I came up with something not used as often in fics with supers. I have been listening to some Lore podcasts and while trying to figure out what type of powers the team somewhat lacked I got an idea. The Lore episode alluring details ghost lights and it seemed like a decent place to start and if you have read my writing you know I looooove folklore and mythologies. It also plays off, in a way, an idea I had back when season 1 was airing. I'm Caucasian of European decent, so please forgive any cultural confusion. I am not of Hispanic decent and really not trying to disrespect anyone. If anyone is willing to help with this aspect I would greatly appreciate it.

I really hope this is sort of what you were looking for.

Please note that since this is season 1 I will be using Vanya for Viktor. I fully support Elliot Page and have major respect for the show's writers for working a transition into the character Elliot portrays. I love how they handled in the show. But for sake of "canon" I use Vanya for now. BUT if you all would prefer I use Viktor and male pronouns let me know. I'm human and far from perfect, so I am always willing to listen and learn. I support all members of the LGBTQ+ community. I love and respect all my readers, but I do not tolerate hate so be nice in the replies, please.

Minors DNI

So as it goes, Y/N = your name. Reader pronouns She/Her.

Tag Requests are Open just message me.

Primary Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Female!Reader

Part 1 of a new WIP Series.

Series Masterlist

Content Warning: Canon typical neglect, violence, death, depression, anxiety

Will o' The Wisp

Chapter 1: #8-The Wisp

Her powers are that she can create a being of pure light and seemingly energy, separate from her own entity. It started as a flickering ball of light. Pogo had said the faint light was like the Will o' the Wisp in old English folklore. But she would go on to learn that most cultures had phantom lights. The name Wisp stuck, but the light didn't stay small or weak for long. Sir Reginald Hargreeves trained her to give it form and capable of independent motion. She gave it a humanoid form to make it easier to manipulate when she took it over. But more often than not, she lets it clings to her like an inverse shadow. She eventually found that she could split her consciousness and control it. Something her father would push her to explore. She can will it in and out of existence, but it still sort of radiates from her if she doesn't give it an external form. It gives her an ethereal glow when it doesn't have its own form. She can weaponize the light in multiple ways. She can use it to blind opponents. It can temporarily stun and disorient someone. She can use it as a projectile. She can also use it to fight as multiple beings, something she tries to limit because fragmenting one's psyche can be both disorienting and unnerving. 

Her siblings had stuck with the Will o' the Wisp idea and jokingly called her Will, but she preferred the name Y/N that Mom helped her pick. They initially called the light entity Wisp due to a lack of creativity. Then they got more "creative", calling it her shining stalker, bright bugger, and many other weird and rude names. She would remind them it wasn't a sentient being. It only became so when she was the conscious one controlling it. And tell them they were just jealous they couldn't be in two places at once. 

Her arguments with Diego were usually more direct.

"You're just jealous I never run out of weapons or have to retrieve them," she would tease when Diego would start to bug her about it.

"At least I can blend into a crowd," Diego would shoot back. "You stick out like a glow stick even when your stalker isn't burning its image into people's retinas."

"And yet, they still like us more," she would shrug and guide her glowing glimmer to do the same, making it seem more like a twin or a doppelganger as she does. 

She had two siblings that were drawn to her by her light. They would cling to the light as the light clung to her. Ben and Klaus. Ben, because the warm light helped cancel out the cold darkness his powers seemed to bring with them. Klaus, because despite the ghost light jokes, her light actually helped keep his ghosts and demons at bay. It would remind him he wasn't in the dark mausoleum that their father would lock him in. So it wasn't unusual for one or both of them to hide from nightmares in her room. She didn't mind. If it helped them, she'd do it, even if Sir Reginald didn't approve. That was what they had their powers for, wasn't it? Helping people, being heroes, wasn’t that what they were supposed to do? For her, part of that meant putting up with Klaus drooling or Ben mumbling in his sleep. 

Her other siblings mostly liked or at least tolerated her, other than Diego. Diego liked to argue with her almost as much as he did Luther. He often called her la bruja after the witch lights that taunt and trick people. Luther and Allison had told her he was probably just jealous that Y/N has useful powers. He is jealous that she has successfully molded her powers the way their father wanted her to. They told her she was as good at what she could do as they were, which was what pissed him off.

Luther didn't mind her as long as she followed orders and did her training. He liked her well enough, but she wasn't Allison. Allison liked having another sister with powers, but she wanted attention more, and since Luther was happy to give it to her, Allison spent most of her time with him. Y/N and Vanya got along well enough, but Klaus would usually drag Y/N and often Ben off on a whim and rarely left much time for the seventh sibling. 

Y/N and Five liked to challenge each other. It was a playful rivalry, unlike Luther and Diego. She and Five would see who could get somewhere faster, him or her speed of light Wisp. They would race, push each other, and make each other faster and more focused. They'd take turns critiquing their techniques as they trained and just genuinely got along. They could be competitive and still be companions. The competitions made them both better. They thrived due to their competitiveness but always ended the day as equals. 

A few days after Five vanished and failed to return, Vanya had come to her. Vanya was always observant, despite the neglect she suffered. Vanya had noticed how the Wisp wasn't out as much. The ethereal glow around her sister was dimmer, darker, it was less like a warm candle and more like the pilot light on a stove or a heater. A deeper, almost blue core to it. Blue as if tainted with her melancholy. And when the Wisp was out, usually in training or at their father's insistence, it was less of vibrant sunshine at high noon or a beautiful yet powerful sunrise. But more harsh like a wildfire flame at night. They had talked, cried, and missed their brother. Vanya gave her sister a sad smile the following day at breakfast. Happy that her sister's glow had warm colors back in it, but it still lacked some of the vibrancy it once had. 

The blue tinge returned and deepened after Ben died. The Wisp was now a being of blue light that clung to her as the loss clung to her soul. People found it eerie and ghost-like, a more authentic Will o’ the Wisp. But when she took it over, the Wisp was more like a vengeful house fire than a being of sunlight. It was unsettling. Sir Reginald had insisted she cease it at once. So she would will it to be different at times, but it always looked off. She would think more of the ghost light stories, the darker ones. The witch lights, or even luz mala or La Candileja. Maybe those were more accurate these days, a bad omen. 

When the Umbrella Academy drifted apart, she had moved to a small rental home in the suburbs. She found work in a local shop. Somewhere her glowing companion wouldn't bother anyone.

Klaus would drop by when he had nowhere to crash or needed general necessities. She would check in with Vanya and Pogo every week or so, but it was mostly solitary existence. After Vanya's book was published, she would catch her neighbors staring. They would keep their distance. Although a nice older woman named Joan who lived down the street would often stop by on walks with her dog. She was a fan of Allison's movies and was always happy to hear the stories the book didn't tell. She was the only person that didn't seem to think that her powers made her weird. Or at least she didn't think they were weird in a bad way. 

But it all changed when she was notified about the death of Sir Reginald Hargreeves.

[0littlestwolf0]

Clever as a fox

Yandere! Stiles Stilinski

Ship: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Warnings: Stalking, overlooked obsessive behavior.

Requested by: Anonymous

You had almost wondered why he was following you.

I mean, for someone else it would’ve been extremely unsettling to see that same sky-blue Jeep everywhere you went, or the same brown eyes glancing at the distance, but it was Stiles, and everything that involved him was weird.

At least that’s what you kept telling yourself. He probably had an explanation, you thought, maybe he thinks that the newest threat in town is following you, or maybe he thinks you are the newest threat, that made you shiver.

How could you be a threat?

You had been on their side from the beginning, well, your beginning at least, since the first time you discovered you weren’t human it was as if Scott had smelled it immediately, well he literally did, and then came the questions.

What do you want? How long has this been going on? Are you the benefactor?

Soon followed by your newest stalker hitting his best friend on the back of his head “Do you really think she would tell us if she was?” And then you laughed, histerically, it wasn’t even funny, it didn’t even make sense, for fuck’s sake!

But there you were, laughing uncontrollably at the entire weirdness of your actual situation, who would’ve thought that the same girl that had been so worried about failing a class was now equally worried about not getting killed by a werewolf, or the mute, and don’t forget the berserkers!

Stiles, you recognized him from your economy class, was raising a brow at you “I don’t even know who the benefactor is, I’ve been like this-“ you gestured to your newely discovered supernatural self “since last weekend, and no, I can’t control it”

“She’s telling the truth” said the one with a crooked jaw, Scott, you remembered, those two were hard to forget after years getting in trouble with the coach.

And with that Stiles just shook his head, a low, breathed laugh left him “Of course she’d be supernatural” he mumbled ironically, not fully understanding, you tilted your head, and just like that Scott nudged him and with that Stiles’ ears turned pink, he’d said too much, yet too little for you to understand.

After that everything became a rush, you had to be quick to get ready in the mornings for school, make sure to get there on time, be a good student during the day, as soon as the bell rang your priorities shifted and now it was about surviving another day, going with the boys (they usually took you on their little quests before you could ask) or Malia and Lydia to find the big bad and try to keep everyone alive, then you back home and finish your homework.

It was truly tiring.

But also fascinating. You loved this new normal of yours, even if it didn’t leave much time for yourself, but being in the line so constant made you feel alive and you loved it.

Also the friends you’ve made were amazing, each one of them had shown you how ready they were to fight for you and that warmed your heart. Scott always made sure to keep you and everyone else safe, Stiles helped you at all moments, you didn’t even understand how he could be so good to you, somehow he knew your favorite warm drink that he would buy every morning for you before you arrived to the school, then he’d help you with your homework and save you from angry professor glances.

Malia literally had said that she would kill for you, and with that look on her eyes you believed her, Lydia was more quiet about it, but she made sure to keep your social life alive, and if you were in danger she wouldn’t hesitate to help you.

And just like them you were blindly devoted to the pack.

Which brought back the question, why was Stiles following you? Then you decided to make a move, you saw him groan and look everywhere but behind him “Where are you? Where are you?” He’d keep mumbling.

You traced the back of his neck with your index finger trying to scare him and he turned around with a little scream, his eyes widened and you noticed that in all the commotion he had taken a hold of your wrist.

You were at an empty alley, making it even weirder about why would he follow you there. “You scared me!” He whispered/yelled and you giggled, his eyes softened at the sound.

“Care to tell me why you were following me?” You asked and he looked down, his face becoming pink, if you’d known him better you would’ve known that he was always quick with answers, and that didn’t mean they were true “I wanted to give you my notes” it was a quick answer, not a change on his voice.

You tilted your head “But I went to the full day today” you shrugged, believing he might have thought otherwise “Oh! But I tought you could use them for the exam” now he was shrugging, way more confident in his answer than before. You believed the lie, if you’d known him better you would’ve noticed the little details, the way he spoke faster when he was lying than when he said the truth.

It was funny, you realized a bit too late, how he was more confident in his lies than he was in anything true.

But we haven’t reached that point of the story yet.

It became a little better after that, he would still do those little things for you that went a long way plus he would appear in your door every evening to study with you, he’d said you both needed to study because you were all falling behind.

You however didn’t notice the angry looks he’d give everyone other than Scott when they approached you, male or female everyone whose eyes lingered a little too long on you was a rival on his eyes.

For you it was almost like puppy love, you didn’t notice the things he did, and it wasn’t naivety, he is probably the most cunning and cleverest person you knew, clever as a fox you had said once and his whole demeanor changed.

That you didn’t fail to notice, but you tried to shrug it off, he’d tell you when he was ready.

Things would’ve never escalated if everything continued like it had been, him always by your side, you might study different things but he had already planned renting an apartment with you, he’d convince you, and then you’d be with him forever.

But no, Theo Reaken had to come to town and ruin everything he had going on.

The first time he knew he’d hate him was the first day of their senior year, when Theo winked at you, Stiles frowned and thought of a thousand ways to kill that freaking werewolf. But you had held his hand and whispered reassuring things on his ears, that calmed him down, and again it could’ve worked like that.

But the doctors wanted you, so Theo took you while you were asleep, he tied you up and set you on a cell before you woke up, pretending to be another victim there, he was a pathological liar who seemed unwilling to risk his facade, even as the doctors experimented on your blood.

Not seeing you that morning at school started to make his anxiety override, but he breathed and tried to convince himself that maybe you’d gotten a cold, or something, but you weren’t answering his calls either.

He missed first period running to Roscoe and then getting to your house, then the day became a blur on his eyes, your entire house was empty, but your car was still outside, your kitchen clean and the house seemed undisturbed, but as soon as he set foot in your room his stomach dropped.

Your bed was a mess, as if you’d tried sleeping but then woken up in a hurry, your shoes were still on the floor, but it was the window that convinced him that everything was wrong, your window was open.

You heated leaving any door or window open, you were too proud to admit it but you were scared of what could get in or out.

He called Scott and in a matter of minutes he was there, he said that he smelt a second scent in your room but he couldn’t place it, whoever did it was good at hiding their tracks.

They searched for you for a week, when they got a big clue, they knew to go in the sewers, they found the lab but retreated to make a plan (that didn’t include Stiles) and for once he didn’t fight it, because he had his own plan.

He knew it would be dangerous, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to get you back like he was. The idea scared him, but the thought of losing you killed him. So he stole the wooden box.

It would be different this time, he convinced himself. Because this time he wouldn’t fight it.

With a shaky breath he placed it inside his backpack, he’d try getting you back on his own first, and if it didn’t work...

It had to work.

But he didn’t get too far when he started hearing you screaming in pain, his legs began to shake, and his eyes watered as he ran towards the sound, every scream was a knife settling in his heart, and he doubted he’d ever be free of the sound.

And then he saw you, lying there in a metal bed as three very scary figures loomed over you, injecting things in your arms and legs, whatever it was was hurting you. He didn’t have to consider it twice, those figures would kill him if they saw him.

He tried swallow the lump in his throat as he opened the intricate box, the irony of it being him who seeks that power would overwhelm him in any other situation. But the fly didn’t waste time as it flew directly and entered his ear, Stiles groaned, trying to stay quiet as he felt almost as if his brain was being ripped in pieces.

Let me in. I can save her. He heard in his own voice, but he doubted, the Nogitsune had killed Allison-

Your heartbreaking scream followed by sobs made him choose. He let it in.

[therealvinelle]

Answering the ask about Carlisle killing humans: take two

In this post, @effervescent-influenza​ asked me what it would take for Carlisle to intentionally kill a human. Sadly for effervescent-influenza, the thought of Carlisle killing people was apparently so inconceivable to my brain that it said “Error. Did you mean: accidentally kills a human?” and so I wrote them a post about Carlisle losing patients as part of his work as a doctor instead. [Insert the meme about Michael asking for a file but getting a cactus from The Good Place here.]

Anyway, here’s me trying to give effervescent-influenza an actual answer and not just another cactus.

What could motivate Carlisle to kill a human?

He was willing to kill newborns in Eclipse. This was in self-defense and to defend others, and he had no other means to stop them. These were unique conditions that had not arisen before in his near four-hundred-years long life.

He’ll never need to defend himself from humans. If he needs to keep a human from hurting other humans, then he will have an array of options, as it is we see him do this in canon with Bella’s would-be rapists. They’re drugged and taken to a police station, where the police have outstanding arrest warrents on them. (Question I’ll return to below: What would he have done if those would-be rapists weren’t known to the police? If they would go back to raping and murdering as soon as they woke up?)

Beyond that, looking for other motives...

Carlisle isn’t going to kill a human for his own benefit, as there would be none. He’s not willing to kill them for their blood, he would not benefit materially, and there’s nothing humans could do to him to provoke him. A patient could become obsessed with him and become his Misery-style terrifying stalker, or a capricious colleague could set out to make him miserable at work, and he’d probably fail but if he didn’t, if a human succeeded in being such a nuisance that it bothered Carlisle, then Carlisle can just move. Always, if a human becomes a problem for him, he can just pack up his things and move. He has a low threshold for doing this.

Carlisle’s not going to kill any humans for his own sake.

But, we do in canon see that he allowed Rosalie to kill her rapists and that he took it for granted that something had to be done about Bella’s would-be rapists.

To take Rosalie and her rapists first, Edward (who is not the best source, but I’ll write a separate post on that. Basically, read the below closely - notice how he inserts himself into this.) explains how it went down:

“In the first year of Rosalie’s second life, before she had disappeared on her several missions of revenge, her thoughts had given her away clearly and thoroughly. I knew what she was planning, and I’d informed Carlisle. The first time, he counseled her gently, urging her to let go of her past life, certain that if she did she would forget, and then her pain could lessen. Revenge could not bring back anything she had lost. But when his guidance met only the implacability of her fury, he gave her advice on how best to be discreet about her forays. Neither of us could argue that she didn’t deserve vengeance. And we both couldn’t help but believe that the world would be a better place without the rapists and murderers who had ended her life.” (Midnight Sun, chapter 18)

For the record, I disagree with the notion that Carlisle would wish Charles Evenson (Esme’s abusive first husband) harm, or harbor revenge fantasies, and this is why. Killing Charles wouldn’t take away Esme’s trauma, it wouldn’t undo any of what happened to her, and it wouldn’t help her heal. It would be for Carlisle’s own benefit, for him to feel better, at the cost of a human life.

More, this would make Carlisle judge and jury of which humans get to live or die. In his life as a doctor, Carlisle has seen countless of cruel men who abused their families. Most of them still have their wives and children living with them, with no rescue in sight. If Carlisle were to kill Evenson, what justification does he have not to kill other abusers?

We know, through Carlisle’s condemnation of Edward’s actions when he ran away to eat rapists, and again when he’s delighted Edward didn’t eat rapists in 2005, that Carlisle doesn’t think humans lose their right to live - or perhaps, to rephrase in light of Rosalie’s situation - killing isn’t worth what it does to you, the killer.

When Rosalie wanted revenge, Carlisle urged her to move past it, to heal without making herself a murderer. That had nothing to do with Royce, or whether Carlisle thought he deserved to die or not, and everything to do with Rosalie. She had a very long life ahead of herself, and Carlisle did not want her to start it off with murder.

Of course, Rosalie refused to move past it, she had to have her revenge to move past this, and so Carlisle agreed. I imagine his consent came because of several factors:

This wasn’t a vampire killing humans, as Carlisle killing Charles would be, or Edward killing rapists for that matter. This was personal: this was a rape victim killing her rapists. Had Rosalie survived and been given a gun, she likely would have done the same thing.

Had Royce and his friends been convicted of the rape and murder of Rosalie Hale, they would have received the capital sentence. Unfortunately there was no body, so no one would know what happened to Rosalie and no charges could be pressed against anybody. Even if they could, and suspected who did it, Royce King II was a rich white man at the top of the social ladder in the 1930′s. He was untouchable. He did what he did to Rosalie because he knew he’d get away with it. Rosalie killing him and the other four rapists was what the legal system would have seen to in an ideal world.

Royce King II would likely have done what he did to Rosalie again, to other women.

Rosalie deserved justice after what was done to her.

Royce King II was a perfect storm of conditions for Carlisle to approve of a killing, and even then he would rather have Rosalie not do it. Rosalie and Edward found out how far Carlisle would go, and that turned out to be not very far at all.

And yet, when Bella was accosted in Port Angeles, there was no question to Carlisle as to whether he should do something or not.

I think, and this is me headcanoning, that when Carlisle has found himself facing the Royces of this world, people who are only going to hurt others, and there has been no legal recourse, his preferred course of action has been nothing, or as little as possible. Action means making himself judge and jury of mankind, and that’s not what he’s for. He walks with humans to help them, not to act as some vigilante above us all . He doesn’t have that right.

In extreme cases, though...

There will always be extreme cases. Serial rapists, child molestors, the worst of the worst. And they’ll be hard to catch for humans, especially in times preceding modern forensics. Carlisle, with his nose and hearing, has likely known the identities of culprits and of undiscovered crimes he knew he could never bring to the police. “Yes, your honor, I smelled him all over the crime scene. He’s guilty!”

I honestly think, in the most desperate situations where to do nothing would be to condemn the innocent to suffer monstrously, Carlisle has gotten creative. This could mean anything, could mean bundling up the offending human and putting them on a boat headed to Australia, could mean gathering up his surgical equipment in the dead of night and making a eunich.

Doesn’t mean murder, though. He made that quite clear with Rosalie and Royce. No matter the evil of the human offender, becoming a murderer would only make it a greater tragedy.

TL;DR: “Cool motive, still murder” - Carlisle Cullen.

[gothamslittlejester]

Obsessive Ledger!joker x reader

I’ve been spoiling you all recently with all this Ledger!Joker, so you’re welcome 😎 (but also so sorry because I did go on a hiatus without saying anything for half a year 😬). Let me know in the asks if you want something in particular, I love writing for J so much! I have a few already that I am working on as we speak, so stay tuned for those 💜

Below are headcannons for a more yandere and darker joker than I usually write 👻 nothing abusive here because J is still very much my comfort character, but it definitely includes over-possessive, protective and stalker themes, as well as encouraging reader to join in on his murderous chaos

Warnings: morally ambiguous reader, joining joker on his “fun” i.e. mentions of torturing others, blood, weapons, severed body parts as gifts, implied seggsy time

· Before adoration, fondness or love, the first feelings Joker had for you was pure obsession. Obsession with what you thought and felt, what you liked to do and why you liked to do them. Obsession with your safety and the need to protect you, which led to jealousy and possessiveness very often. It was primal, and longing, and left him thirsting after your presence like a greedy, hungry wolf. He wanted you- needed you- and he was going to get you

·In spite of a period of flirting, suggestive jokes and hinting touches, Joker made it clear pretty quickly what his feelings were for you. Because of his lifestyle death is like a waiting shadow, and wasting time on what he wants is just not his style  

· Quite soon into the beginning of your more romantic relationship, you move into his hideout for the sake of your safety, which calmed J down with some of his possessiveness and paranoid thoughts. He knew his home was the safest place in Gotham, excluding Bruce Wayne’s cave, and with you in it that meant you were safe too.

·When he’s gone, he’ll leave a huge shotgun behind for you to use in case of emergency, as well as Chechen’s Rottweilers. You’ll find some stray knives and pointy objects hidden in your coats too, “just in case”, but its more heartwarming to you than annoying

· He loves to lay on you at night, whether it be right on your chest to hear your heartbeat, or on your belly where he can feel your soft skin pressed against his scared cheeks. Not only is it pleasant and lets his touched-starved soul get some attention, but it also makes him hyper aware of every shift or move your body does while asleep. It also prevents you from sneaking out of the bed to run away, which is one of his more paranoid thoughts. Don’t try to move away or push him off, he will smack your hand back and snuggle in deeper, wrapping his arms around you like a snake

· He doesn’t care what insecurities you have regarding your appearance; he admires every single piece of you and will cuddle with whatever he wants, so push your anxieties aside because Joker hungers for all of you

· His gifts can sometimes be very macabre. Generally, he loves to spoil you with an array of things, such as new clothes or lingerie, plush toys of your favorite animals, snacks you said you’ve wanted to try, or even just random knick-knacks he stole from his victim’s homes. However, if he’s feeling adventurous or extra flirty that day, he will bring you certain body parts to symbolize his feelings for you.

· You’ve definitely found your fair share of human hearts in your fridge, because he adores how your heart races when your scared. You’ve found a pair of lungs stuffed in there too, because the little gasps you make when frightened or anticipating his touch are delicious to him. You went to get milk once and right behind the carton was a tongue, symbolizing how much he relishes your little talks and midnight conversations

· Once, he brought over a whole corpse, the body decomposing and gnarled, skin ripped to shreds and a face pummeled so brutally it had concaved. “Don’t need to worry about them any more doll,” he giggled, spitting on the body with a fervor that thrilled you. It took a few minutes of intense staring- why did they look familiar?-  but then it clicked in your mind; it was the very person you had fumed and vented to Joker about last night, right before he had spontaneously left

· “J,” you began, eyes nearly popping out of your head. “Did you kill him... for me?”

· “ ‘Course I did, sweetheart.” He rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You know I’d, uh, kill anyone for you. Nasty fucks like them especially-ah.”

· If you have to leave for longer periods of time, whether that be for school or work, Joker will always have a few of his men stalking you from a distance, making sure you’re safe and that no one dangerous is within a 1 mile radius of you. They also have explicit instructions to take photos and send them to J, because he likes looking at your oblivious little face.

· He’d do it himself if he has the time, which he sometimes does, but he too is quite busy with his own things (when anarchy calls, as they say), so hiring lookouts is the next best thing. If he could, he’d have you right by his side at all times… how pretty you’d look in a soft purple leash... but that’s just daydream fuel for now

· Speaking of photos, Joker knows his ways around a camera. He makes... lovely home videos that he sends to news channels in his free time (rip fake batman) and he continues to practice at his craft from time to time. He even won a deepweb award for best snuff film of the year, which boosted his ego to ungodly heights. He’s absolutely delighted about it and hints that you should watch it on one of your movie nights, but he does warn it’s not for the faint of heart

· Taking videos and photos are one of his favorite hobbies, and if you’re down to clown… he’d certainly bring it in the bedroom

· Speaking of his more thrilling hobbies, Joker will constantly suggest you join him on his escapades or help out behind the scenes, especially if he picks up on any sort of interest from you concerning his ‘job’. Joker is an observant man, and he reads you like a book. He knows you likely have some dark, sinister thoughts running around in your head - you must, if you’re with him- so he does everything he can to encourage you to let them out. Joker will never judge this side of you, no matter how grim. He’ll try and harness it, bring it to light. He hates the thought of you shying away from your true self, embarrassed of your darker nature, but what he hates even more is you thinking he’ll be disgusted with you or disappointed. How can you think that?

· “No no no, bunny, not me. You’re my muse, so give me some inspiration hmm? Tell daddy exactly what’s going on in that mind of yours...”

·  If you do show interest in the darker side of his job, he’d smile so big that his scars take up his whole face. He’d teach you everything; how to fire a gun, how to stab someone, how to hide a body and how to torture one. He’ll spread out all his weapons on the floor and let you choose which one calls to you, like a deranged ceremony, informing you on the pros and cons of each one. He’ll even invite you into the warehouses he designated just for torture, which are just as gruesome and sinful and they sound

· J let’s you watch as he hurts his victims, whom are purposefully rapists and killers to make you feel less guilty, and let’s you join in on the fun whenever you gain the courage. He even went as far as to buy a whole torture set off the black market, from scalpel to needles, just to give you options. Joker loves to see how creative you can get, and it’s one of the few times he lets you take complete control

· “The floor is yours, bunny. Impress me.”

· He is down for pretty much anything, and that mindset is not exclusive just to the bedroom

·Any couple activity you fear might be too far or creepy for other people… is right around J’s alley. Weird kinks or foreplay games you want to try? No problem. Making love in abandoned houses or cemeteries? Now that’s his type of romance. You want to carry a small vial of his blood around your neck? He is all game, but only if he gets one of you as well. Matching knives? He’s blushing. Satanic blood ritual from a sketchy website that’s supposed to bond your souls for eternity? Perfect, his weekend plans were centered around you anyways

· Now…If he feels that you’re not giving him enough attention or start to push him away, he will resort to crazier means to obtain your love back. He’ll set off random bugs, rats or even henchmen into your home to scare you, gleefully waiting to hear you cry out his name in fear. Like a small, dependent little kitten, mewling for their protector. He’d come in, guns ablaze, looking for whatever scared his darling angel, killing them on sight. You’d run into his arms, tears streaming down your face as you cling to Joker like your life depended on it- just how he liked it. He’d coo mockingly and pull you closer, rubbing your back as he unashamedly basked in your physical touch.

· In general however, your soft caresses, kisses and reassuring words are enough to keep him very pleased. He knows you adore him and are head over heels obsessed just like he is, and that truly does put a smile on his face.

[mammonshuman92]

- Watched -

Mammon & GN!MC

** TW: Stalking, cussing, religion (ish? I guess?)

| part two | | part three |

It’s been nearly 6 months since you left the Devildom. You picked up where you had left off in the human world: college, work, home, repeat. Sure, you missed your family while you were away, but now your heart aches almost constantly for the new family you loved so much, that you had to leave behind. (Not that you really had a choice in the matter.)

 As much as it hurt to leave the brothers, Diavolo was right. Establishing harmony and unity with the three realms won’t go over too well if one of the human representatives doesn’t go back to the human world, now will it? Still, it sucks. Life is so boring without all of them.

And quiet.

It’s not like you don’t talk though. Yeah, Diavolo has that rule in place where they have to take turns talking to you because “human’s lives are short” and they were “taking up too much of your time”, but that’s not really going to stop them, is it?

Well kinda, actually.

You can’t really argue with a direct order from the demon lord, after all.

-

Is it Asmo's day to call? You thought to yourself, trying to remember (not that you ever could) the schedule Lucifer came up with. Your own schedule was hard enough to remember.

You had been picking up extra shifts at work and staying late to study at school when you could. Finding any reason to stay busy or get out of the house. The deafening silence was too much to bear.

"I wonder when I can go visit? I should call Diavolo.." you said to yourself quietly.

You were walking home from your shift at the coffee shop near campus. The sun was just starting to set and the air was slightly crisp, causing you to pull your jacket a little tighter.

If it weren't for the brilliant pinks and warm oranges cast on the sky by the setting sun, it would've felt like a regular night in the Devildom. Memories of your last few days spent there came flooding back, bringing the sadness along with them.

In just one year, you had gotten so close to everyone, but you had gotten especially close to Mammon. He was responsible for you in the beginning of course, but the connection was undeniable (no matter how much he did deny it). He was a total simp for you, and you for him. It was rather cringey to everyone else. He could be a handful at times, but that tsundere really is a great boyfriend. Leaving him behind was... well, there's no words for it.

Rounding the corner, you could see your house perfectly. Now that the sun had gone down a bit more, it was getting darker and you were suddenly thankful that you remembered to turn on the porch light before you left.

You pulled your keys from your jacket pocket while climbing the few steps to your front door, and something caught your eye. Your stomach dropped.

Not again..

You plucked the folded piece of paper that was stuck in the screen door and quickly made your way inside, locking the door behind you.With a heavy sigh, you tossed your keys on the table by the door and dropped your bag on the floor beside you. You immediately went to shower and change not giving the paper a second thought.

Not everyone in the human world agreed with the Devildom exchange student program. After you and Solomon had arrived in the Devildom, there were numerous protests by a group much like the Westboro lunatics. They were without a doubt against the program and called for it’s immediate termination. Thankfully, their personal hatred was no match for the opportunity for the realms to find peace.

 When you had returned, you noticed people whispering about you, calling you names and giving you dirty looks. You've even received quite a few pieces of hate mail. Granted, the people opposed to the program were very small in numbers, even if it didn’t seem that way. It didn't bother you though. Demons ended up being some of the most important people to you. Not to mention you were kinda in love with one of them. People could say what they wanted about the Devildom and about you, their words didn't bother you.

You were still towel drying your hair when your phone rang. Tossing the towel, you rushed to the living room to fish it out of your bag, Asmo's face popping up on the caller ID. You were right, it was Asmo’s night. You were secretly hoping it was a certain greedy demon’s turn to call (not that he doesn’t text you almost constantly.)

Asmo was the same as usual. Talking animatedly about this and that, gushing over new beauty products and outfits, filling you in on all the gossip you were missing. While he was rambling, your eyes fell onto the paper that was in your door. Might as well look at the newest piece of hate mail, right? 

You began unfolding the paper, quickly giving Asmo an “omg!” about the gossip he was dishing (even though you hadn’t been paying attention.)

Upon seeing the contents, all the color drained from your face. You were sure your heart sank into your stomach, but you could hear the rapid beating in your ears. You suddenly felt hot, and the air around you seemed thick.

Then the adrenaline kicked in.

With shaky hands, you quickly checked the front door making sure it was locked, and headed to the back door to do the same. You rushed around checking the windows and pulling all the curtains closed. Everything seemed fine, nothing out of the ordinary. Still, that didn’t settle your nerves any.

“MC, dear? Did you hear me?” The sound of Asmo’s voice brought you out of your frantic state.

“Huh? S-sorry Asmo. I guess I s-spaced out.” You tried your best to keep your tone normal and steady your breathing, as to not alert him to anything. You really should give him more credit, though.

“MC? Is everything alright?” His tone was different, no longer playful and flirty. You could hear the concern.

Shit.

“Yeah, I’m fine. More hate mail is all. No biggie.” You lied. Maybe he would believe it..

There was a pause on his end, “You’re STILL getting it? Don’t they have anything better to do?” Good, he bought it. For now, anyway.

After about 10 more minutes Asmo said his goodbyes, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

This piece hate mail turned out to be something much worse than the run of the mill stuff you usually received. Inside there were pictures. Of you. At work, at school, the grocery store, ...outside your house. There was also a newspaper clipping that had a picture of you and your family, from when your parents first opened their bakery a few years back. There were red ‘Xs’ marked through everyone’s faces...

The only words scrawled inside read, “I’ve been watching you. You will pay for what you’ve done, whore. And don’t even think about telling your demon fuck buddies. I know everything about you and your family. It’d be a shame if anything happened to poor old Mom and Dad because their child is an unholy slut.”

You read it over and over, tears streaking your cheeks. Hate mail was nothing new, but now this? A stalker? 

Maybe I’m just over thinking it. The other hate mail was spicy too. But these pictures... There is NO way I’m over thinking this..

“Regardless, I can’t tell the brothers.” You shuddered at what their reaction would be like. It would definitely make all of Diavolo’s hard work on the exchange program obsolete. It wouldn’t be good for any of the three realms. There was still a long way to go, but the program was a giant step in the right direction to obtaining peace and understanding. If dealing with some backlash and hate mail could help get closer to that goal, then for the sake of the greater could, you could handle it.

“For now, I will bear this burden myself.”

- {3 weeks later} -

“Are you okay?”

The simple question nearly made you squeak and nearly jump out of your skin. You turn and meet the worried gaze of your lab partner. You weren’t super close with her, so you knew your current state had to be bad if she was picking up on it.

God, do I really look that bad? You got a good look at yourself this morning, and yeah, you absolutely look that bad. But then again, you haven’t really slept in a few weeks. You had gigantic purple eye bags, your hair looked like a family of birds took up residence in it. Your skin was pale and lifeless, and you began skin picking at your nails due to the anxiety. You’d even lost about twenty pounds.

“Sorry, I guess I was spacing out.”

“It’s alright. It’s just- no offense, but you look awful. Have you been sleeping?” She asked, eyes scanning your face.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Promise.” You lied. She nodded and gave you a weak smile, dropping the subject for now.

You hadn’t really been paying attention to class today. Well, for the last several days, really. You’ve been putting in less effort for a lot of things lately. You’ve been slacking off bad at school and barely keeping up at work. Not to mention you never sleep anymore. How can you though?

You left class early and although it was still early in the day, you decided to skip the rest of your lectures for the day. You’ve always been a fantastic student, so taking a day off wouldn’t really hurt anything. And seeing as today was Thursday, you didn’t even have work today. Same as every week.

 Upon arriving home, you were relieved to see that there weren’t any notes left for you. Yet, anyway.

Ever since the first letter a few weeks ago, they’ve been showing up constantly. Only a few times the first week or so, but now you get at least one every single day. They’re also increasing in severity. The sender seems to be becoming more and more unhinged with every passing day.

“Dirty demon whore!!”

“You’re a HUMAN!! How dare you taint your body with demons!”

“I will cleanse you and make you pure again.”

There was so, so much more. All of it growing more and more explicit with each letter.

The whole thing was taking a huge tool on you, but what could you do? Your family’s safety was on the line. You so badly wanted to tell Mammon of even the cops, but you couldn’t live with yourself if anything bad were to happen. Whatever this psycho had planned, you would gladly put yourself in the line of fire to save those closest to you.

The whole situation has also affected your relationship with Mammon and the rest of the brothers as well. At first, you tried to hide what was happening, but they started getting suspicious and asking questions. Always wondering why you sounded so tired and why you kept cutting their phone calls super short. You always rejected their face time requests, knowing that your drastic change in appearance would be alarming and alert them that something was wrong. Lately, you’ve barely talked to any of them. Especially Mammon. He’d be the first to figure out something was wrong with you and come here ready to fight.

That honestly didn’t sound too bad. You wanted nothing more than for him to hold you while you ugly cried. Breathing in his scent while he rubbed soothing circles on your back.

Your heart started to ache.

-

When you got home you decided to take a nice, hot shower to hopefully help ease some of your tension and possibly begin to get a handle on your quickly deteriorating self care status.

Once you felt somewhat normal again, you put on your comfiest pj’s (which included one of Mammon’s shirts) and plopped yourself on your bed in the fetal position. It was the only thing that kinda helped ease a tiny bit of the feeling that everything was spiraling out of control. The warm scent of your most favorite demon helped calm you.

*bzzz* *bzzz* *bzzz*

Damn. I almost fell asleep..

You sat up, rubbing your eyes and reached for your D.D.D. on your nightstand. The called ID made your heart rate accelerate and your palms sweaty.

It’s him.

“Mammon..? I thought it was Beel’s turn to call?”

“I don’t care about Lucifer’s stupid schedule. I need to talk to ya.” His tone made him sound like he was on edge.

“Oh, ok. What’s up?”

He scoffed, “Really? You’ve barely messaged me back in three days. The last time I called, ya hung up after five minutes.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy.” Every lie helps break your heart just a little more. 

“You’ve never been too busy before. Besides, shouldn’t ya be in a class right now or somethin’? It ain’t even noon.”

“I left class early and I’m skipping the rest of the day.” You explained.

“..Hmm.” He replied, you could detect suspicion in his response.

It was quiet on his end for a moment.

“MC?”

“Yeah?”

“..Do ya got another boyfriend? Cause The Great Mammon is definitely better! And-and, I’ll kick their ass!”

“What? Mammon, no. One boyfriend is almost more than I can handle.”

“Wha- hey!”

For the first time in who knows when, you actually giggled. It felt so good.

“So, you swear nothin’ is wrong? You’ve been actin’ so weird.” His voice was heavy with concern.

“Yeah, I swear.” Lie.

As good as it felt to talk to him, you needed to end the call before he ended up dragging the truth out of you. If any one could figure out what was wrong with you, it’d be him. The two of you had spent so much time together, that you can practically read each other like a book.

“I gotta go, ok? I have work later and I need to get ready.” Lie. But, you needed to get off the phone with him before he suspects anything.

“Yeah, sure.” He sounded so defeated. You could almost hear him pouting.

After a quicker goodbye than you usually have when getting off the phone with Mammon, you fell back onto your bed with a heavy sigh.

That was a little rough, but he seemed to believe it. I hope this will all be over soon.

With that, you quickly fell asleep, lulled by the memory of your demon’s voice. Although you wouldn’t sleep long, at least you got to fall asleep to the thought of him.

-

*bzzz* *bzzz* *bzzz*

Geez, are ya gonna answer or not? Ya always pick up on the second ring when I call ya.., Mammon thought.

Finally, on the sixth ring, “Mammon..? I thought it was Beel’s turn to call?”

Man, hearing your voice is like music.

“I don’t care about Lucifer’s stupid schedule. I need to talk to ya.” His tone made him sound a little rougher than intended, but it was all the same. He needed to hear you voice.

“Oh, ok. What’s up?”

He scoffed, “Really? You’ve barely messaged me back in three days. The last time I called, ya hung up after five minutes.”

I miss ya like crazy. Ya keep avoiding me..

“Oh. I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy.” 

Huh? But, MC is always busy doing somethin’ and it never stopped em’ before..

He started getting an uneasy feeling deep in his stomach. He could tell something was off, but he just didn’t know what it was.

Is it ...someone else? Nah, MC wouldn’t do that. ...Right??

“You’ve never been too busy before. Besides, shouldn’t ya be in a class right now or somethin’? It ain’t even noon.” He didn’t try to hide the pout, that he knew you could hear, in his voice. His own thoughts were beginning to hurt his feelings.

“I left class early and I’m skipping the rest of the day.” MC explained.

“..Hmm.” He hummed. Thoughts started swirling around in his head.

MC never skips school, not even at RAD. Somethin’ is definitely going on. And what’s with the short answers? MC always talks like crazy. Maybe they’re mad at me?

It was quiet for a moment while he tried to sort through his thoughts.

“MC?” He asked, finally breaking the silence.

“Yeah?”

“..D-do ya got another boyfriend? Cause The Great Mammon is definitely better! And-and, I’ll kick their ass!”

“What? Mammon, no. One boyfriend is almost more than I can handle.”

“Wha- hey!” You giggled at his response. It was small, but he heard it. It made his heart swim.

All joking aside, he did believe you. Something was definitely not right with you though.

“So, you swear nothin’ is wrong? You’ve been actin’ so weird.” His voice was heavy with concern.

“Yeah, I swear.” Those three words caused his heart to sink.

That was a lie.. MC only says ‘I swear’ while tryin’ to act like somethin’ ain’t wrong..

He pushed his thoughts aside for the time being and continued the conversation. It only lasted a few more minutes before you started saying your goodbyes. Again, cutting the call short.

“I gotta go, ok? I have work later and I need to get ready.” 

Hmm. Why does that seem weird?

“Yeah, sure.” He sounded so defeated.

There was, without a doubt in his mind, something going on. Something that would make you lie to him..

One way or another, he was going to find out.

-

“Mammon? Are you alright?”

Mammon was sprawled out on the couch in the common room. After talking to you, he was lost in his thoughts and feeling rather down. Beel passed by the common room on his was back from the kitchen when he saw his older brother. Noticing that he looked sad, Beel went to investigate.

Mammon looked up to meet Bee’s concerned gaze and with a sigh, he sat up.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Mammon said, as he stood up to leave. Beel could tell he was obviously lying, but decided not to press the issue.

Mammon stopped a few paces away from Beel, and turned back around to face him.

“Hey, Beel. Was MC actin’, I don’t know, “off”, the last time ya talked to em’?” He asked the sixth born, thinking maybe you had accidentally let something slip.

Beel’s face seemed to twist up a little bit, and he nodded.

“Yeah, kind of. MC used to sound excited when I called, but now they hardly talk at all. And they used to send me pictures of the food they were eating and new recipes, at least twice a day, but it’s been about two weeks since the last one they sent.” He explained, sadness in his voice. While in the Devildom, you were his favorite person to eat with.

Mammon nodded at his brother, getting lost in his thoughts again.

So, it’s not just me. MC is actin’ strange with Beel too..

Neither of them had paid been paying enough attention to see Asmo enter the room.

“Mammon, there you are. I’m going out, and I need my new bag from Majolish. The one I let you borrow. And i swear, if you sold it-” Asmo stopped mid sentence when he noticed the sad state two of his brothers.

“Is it about MC?” He asked, nonchalaunt.

Mammon’s head snapped toward his brother.

“What do you mean? Did they say somethin’ to ya?” Mammon asked quickly, taking a few steps closer to his brother.

MC and Asmo always gossip with each other, so maybe they’d tell him somethin’..

“Calm down. MC really hasn’t talked to me much in the last month. I’m so hurt! Who else am I going to talk beauty products with? Lucifer? Goodness, no.”

“Asmo!” Mammon said loudly, trying to get the fifth born back on track.

“Oh, right. Let’s see.” He put a finger to his chin and thought about it. “Hmm. The only thing I can think of was during the last normal conversation I had with them. They said something about receiving a piece of hate mail. They said it was no big deal, but I distinctly remember MC seemed flustered by it. Which I thought was weird, considering it’s definitely not the first one they’d received..” Asmo explained.

Hate mail? MC has only mentioned it to me a couple times. Do they really get it that often..?

“How long ago was that?” Mammon asked. He felt like he was on the brink of something. Just a few more puzzle pieces..

“Hmm, it was right before MC started acting distant toward me. So, about three or four weeks, maybe.” Asmo explained. That’s around the time you had started acting weird with Mammon too.

“So, maybe something happened to MC.” Beel suggested.

“No, MC would tell us. ..Right?” Asmo questioned.

Mammon was so confused.

What is goin’ on with you, MC?

-

After talking with his brothers, Mammon holed himself up in his room. He didn’t really want to be around anyone at the moment. His thoughts were driving him crazy and giving him a headache. What was he not seeing? What piece of the puzzle was he missing?

He started going over your last conversation again, for the millionth time, looking for any kind of clue. But, you seemed normal. Well, your new normal, anyway. Distant, short answers, not giving too much to the conversation. What were you hiding?

It was something about the end of your conversation, but what was it?

He remembered your small giggle. The memory caused a smile to break out across his face. It gave him a tiny bit of hope that you were still there. That you still loved him. That whatever was troubling you, wasn’t making you forget them completely.

It was after that though. You had said “I swear”, which was a red flag, considering you only say it when you’re trying to convince him you’re ok when you’re really not.

He sighed, and rolled over on his bed. He looked at the alarm clock on his night stand, numbers glowing an angry red.

MC is probably at work right now..

Something caught his eye.

Today is Thursday... MC never works on Thursday. I guess the schedule coulda changed. No, cause MC specifically requested to always have that day off for some reason. Delivery day at their family’s bakery, I think. ...MC lied, again..

Then it hit him.

The small little lies. Avoiding all of them, even him for weeks now. Barely talking when you do answer the phone. The way you always sounded so tired and out of it.

It had something to do with what Asmo said about the hate mail.

“Hmm. The only thing I can think of was during the last normal conversation I had with them. They said something about receiving a piece of hate mail. They said it was no big deal, but I distinctly remember MC seemed flustered by it. Which I thought was weird, considering it’s definitely not the first one they’d received..”

Mammon didn’t even know that you’d been receiving that much hate mail. Sure, you’d told him about it a couple times, but he didn’t think it was that bad. Maybe it was actually pretty serious. Is that why you’d been so distant.

Mammon got up from his bed, and began pacing around the room. He almost had it figured out, he could feel it.

Asmo said MC seemed flustered, so it had to have somethin’ to do with the hate mail they received that day, since after that is when MC started actin’ weird.What if it’s somethin’ bad. Like, bad bad. 

He stopped pacing.

The thought of MC being in danger was...

Mammon grabbed his jacket, where it was thrown onto the pool table and left his room in a hurry. He was on his way to Lucifer’s study, mentally preparing himself on the way. He was sure he knew what his brother’s answer would be, but he wasn’t going to just sit here. He needed to know that you were, in fact alright, with his own eyes.

I’m going to the human world. Whether Lucifer allows it or not.

| part two | | part three |

[yanderecandystore]

hey, that jerk albedo strikes me as a tsuntsun. since i have no good taste for people, i wanna maybe request Al being a softie to his human darling in an alternate universe please - 🇧🇷

"- I have no good taste for people." Honestly, me.

Tsum tsum is awesome, but I prefer Yan tsum cause I'm a hoe-

Absolute mood, honestly- I wasn't sure if anyone would like him but honestly?

That's- Awesome actually! Sure thing boo!

TW/Tags: for the sake of my own sanity I'll make Albedo like- 6/7ft tall cause in the oneshot I imagined him as like- 5 inches tall (and the Reader as 3 inches tall-) // tsundere asshole alert (secretly a softie acting like a douche-) // gender neutral reader // be aware of the fluffy danger // [🧚💐🍄]

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

"- You're not the center of the world." [Tsundere!Fae OC x Human!Reader - Headcanon]:

This man is a lot of things. Beautiful, paranoid, an asshole and a person secretly looking for love. Albedo is a genuinely romantic person but he is so tired of fake love and stalkers, he has grown to be bitter towards most people, even those that had done nothing against him.

That could be another fairy trying to get in his pants, or some random human randomly deciding to be friendly with a creature they know nothing about- With the last option being, of course, you.

Some stupid human who entered the woods probably looking for some thrill in their lives- Maybe trying to finish a quest, maybe just lost and trying to walk through the forest as a shortcut, or maybe just someone inexperienced with nature trying their luck in the woods and almost getting trapped into a fairy ring because you didn't pay attention.

I doubt you would have left your guard down while walking into a well known fairy forest, you probably tried your luck into getting a pretty fairy to get you, which just the thought alone made Albedo gag- The idea of a human wanting to sleep with a fairy sounds repulsing to him yet he is aware of the existence of some of these ungodly creatures.

Just the thought of someone like you stepping into his ring made him feel disgusted, which led him to give you a severe wake-up call about how you're in fairy territory.

"- You're lucky I warned you before you had set yourself as another fairy's plaything- Considering how dumb you are to not even pay attention to the ground, I probably have saved someone else from the trouble of having you stucked with them." He scolded you over and over again- Although honestly, you weren't paying full attention-

The shock of a sudden fairy coming out of nowhere just to warn you about your mistake in the most verbally aggressive way imaginable took over the fact he was saying something really important. You took more time to look at him and observe his features than to actually listen to what he says-

Tall, lanky body; butterfly wings that reminded you of a monarch butterfly, but instead of being orange they had a mosaic rainbow pattern to them; dark straight hair; white irises and black scleras. He was clearly mad at you for being naive and not listening to him at all- But you didn't really care because you were still hypnotized by his looks and too shocked to formulate a defense for yourself.

It's not really your fault if you had fallen into one of their traps, since technically you would have been the victim of their doing, yet you should have paid more attention to your surroundings though. It doesn't matter what you were actually looking for inside the forest, because Albedo will have taken you out of it the moment he sees you're not even paying attention- The woods are too dangerous for someone who has their head in the clouds.

When you got the chance to notice what happened you were already in the edge of the woods, the exact direction of where you came from, as Albedo has already flew away, before you could say anything to him before being obligated to go back home.

Still, you didn't finish whatever task you needed to complete inside the woods, so you went back the next day. However, you couldn't do much since he was constantly pestering you, he was surprised you came back yet he was still annoyed at your foolery.

He considered walking away multiple times, but he felt guilty knowing that you would eventually get hurt if he wasn't there.

You managed to ask him a lot of things about his fairy life, while he got to save you time and time again from the magical wildlife surrounding you two.

You didn't get to find what you were looking for, so you had to go back home to take some rest, you gave a goodbye to Al yet he didn't reciprocate it thinking it was too intimate, and that he never even considered you a friend to begin with.

You went back day after day, going through the same routine, not being successful in completing your task. Still, you had an immense amount of fun each day you came back, being protected by someone so grumpy was sure a lot more fun than you expected it to be.

He was mean and rude sometimes, to the point you had to call him out for it because it felt like he was crossing the line.

"- I'm not like you, I know that, but me being a human doesn't make me any less special than you." You pouted, feeling aggravated because of his constant comments about how low humans are compared to the likes of him.

"- It's not…. It's- It's not what I meant-" He tried reasoning, but couldn't find the right words to apologise.

Even if he didn't properly apologize, he did try to make it up to you, confessing that maybe he is just a bit insecure, especially compared to someone who seems so mysterious to him. You come here everyday to do something he doesn't really know what it is, yet feels really important since you keep trying each day to reach it, maybe he envies that perseverance a little more than he thought he did.

Even after you thought you two were very acquaintanced with one another, it seemed like you discovered more and more of this puzzled man and his bitterness. He wouldn't have told this to any person unless he really considered them a trustworthy friend, yet he considered you to be a really important person to him at this point, so he decided to tell you about the events involving him and another fairy.

Although he has his own way of exaggerating while telling the story, you understood what he was trying to imply even if he was being really vague. Another fairy had gotten weirdly obsessed with him, and even after being told "no", they kept stalking him and doing things that terrified him. He said that even after they were gone, he felt awful remembering the event.

You can't really imagine what type of creature would be so devastatingly evil to make Al so scared.

You showed him comfort, you showed him kindness and you showed him forgiveness despite him being so rude to you. It felt like the first genuine friendship he had in decades yet it also feels like more than friendship.

Even after you find what you were looking for, he hopes you'll still visit him. He hopes you'll stay, even if he doesn't know your name at all- Which is probably for the best-

He won't stop being his sassy mean self, but he will be a bit sweeter to you, waiting to the day he can repay you for giving him these wonderful moments you two shared.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[keenmarvellover]

POSTS FOR YOU - 1

Some links to posts with valuable content you want in one place.(BASICALLY EVERYTHING IS THERE)

Suggestions and Recommendations are appreciated and accepted.

Last Updated : 16/10/2020

NOTE: Some of these post are written in a crude and unruly fashion. But they contain valuable tips, guidance and information. If you can't/don't want to read such posts, then don't read.

Mental Health

Do you need a Hug?

Maybe you’re having a stressful day. Maybe you just need a deep breath. Maybe you just didn’t realize how stressed you are. You can get your comfort here.

Some stuff to help you sleep

This is definitely not a google drive full of the sleep stuff from the Headspace app, including sleepcasts, music, and wind down meditation, that normally costs 17.99 a month, no siree and you definitely shouldnt share this with people

Anti-Anxiety Tools

Some tools to help you before, during or after an anxiety attack

100 Reasons NOT To Kill Yourself

READ IT. SHARE IT. REBLOG IT. Save a Life.

HOBBIES MASTERPOST!!!!!!!!

A really excellent way to reduce anxiety is to pick up a new hobby. Find something you’re interested in, learn it, then use it as a healthy and productive way to cope.

Health

Some very Important Lists for Rating PAIN, FATIQUE AND MENTAL HEALTH

It is MUST share

PSA Rregarding Hospital bills

Also how to pay hospital bills when you are broke.

How to differentiate between COVID-19, FLU AND COMMON COLD

Anyway, as we enter cold & flu season in the YEAR of corona, this will come in very handy.

Treatment for HIV

VERY IMPORTANT. Please Read and Share.

What does the Color of your Period mean?

A must read for individuals who get periods.

How to differentiate between Period Cramps and Appendicitis

A MUST READ

From a Person who is Hard of Hearing

Types and levels of deafness

General Tips for Vagina Health

Some stuff they don't teach in sex-ed.

Undo the damage of Sitting

Are you always sitting down? Then these are some exercise you should probably try out for better health.

Guide to Proper Bra Fitting

Guide to Proper Bra Fit and Measuring. Please Read and Share.

Washable, Reusable Menstrual Pads

(Part II)

Reusable menstrual hygiene product, and are an alternative to disposable sanitary napkins or to menstrual cups.

Artists

Art Masterpost

How to draw *insert whatever you want, its there in the list*?

Book Binding

Some video links to different types of DIY Bookbinding

For Artists who Need Photoshop

If youre an artist who cant afford photoshop, definitely DO NOT go to this google drive to pirate the program, that would be so bad!!!

Do’s and Don'ts of Designing for Accessibility

Please consider this when designing for ANYTHING. For BUSINESSES and ARTISTS.

Writers

Color Synonyms

For both ARTISTS and WRITERS

How to make a Masterlist

Simple but efficient instructions to make a masterlist

ULTIMATE NOVEL WRITING RESOURCE MASTERLIST

This is an ultimate masterlist of many resources that could be helpful for writers.

List of AUs and Ship Tropes

For when you run out of ideas.

AUs

Ship Tropes

Legal sites to get some much needed Info

If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

Resources for Describing Characters

For writing about physical appearances, character traits, talents,and skills and other related stuff of your characters, here is a comprehensive list.

Resources for Describing Emotions

Having trouble writing jealousy, happiness, motivation. Here you go!!

Some Resources for your Writing

Body Language

Reverse Dictionary

Character Traits

Things to Keep in mind when naming Characters

Valuable advice. Trust me

Words to Use when Writing Smut/Romance

This is for smut/romance writers. Kinda like a thesaurus.

Tips to write Pain

How are you supposed to write about pain you’ve never experienced before?

References for Greek Mythology Characters

Link to an extensive site every single detail of Greek Mythology from Gods to Family Trees.

Tips to write Blind Characters

Some tips that might be invaluable when writing character that are near-blind or blind

Things to Remember when writing a Highly Emotional Scene

Just small things that could make a great difference

How to write with Multiple POVs

Tips on how to write multiple POVs with diverse characters

Synonyms and Antonyms

The person who made this list is a blessing to writers. Just saying.

Good Qualities for Female Characters

Females don't always need to be protected and be weak. Make them more realistic.

Words to Use instead of ‘Said’

Every single situation is listed. Check it out.

Limits of the Human Body

All extremities listed

Readers

Legal Sites to Download Literature

From children’s books to rare books, from philosophy and religion to nonfiction. I guess you can find anything here.

The Rights of the Reader

And some (lots of) bashing of Helicopter Parents.(You want to read only the rights. Here it is)

Wet Book Rescue : Steps to save a Wet Book

Valuable information if some of your prized books were affected by recent flooding. The video even shows you what to do if you can’t dry the book out right away.

Cheatsheet to Navigate AO3

Makes your time on AO3 a little more easier and interesting

How to trick Writers into giving you More Fanfic to read

Works for Comics and Art as well.

Get a Book Suggestion

This book website gives you the first page of a random book without the title or author so that you can read it with no preconceptions

Books written by POC Writers

Only POC authors included in the list.

Students

Basic ASL (American Sign Language) Movements

ASL Hand Movements for beginners.

Tips for studying with ADHD/a>

Made by a person with ADHD themself.

Resources to Learn New Languages

Ten fairly useful general language resources

How to properly take notes

It helps. It really helps.

FREE ONLINE LANGUAGE COURSES

Here is a masterpost of MOOCs (massive open online courses) that are available, archived, or starting soon. I think they will help those that like to learn with a teacher or with videos.

A Thread of Tips

A thread of tips to help High School and College students academically

LEARN THINGS FOR FREE

FREE ONLINE COURSES (here are listed websites that provide huge variety of courses)

Google like a BOSS

Some life hacks which make student's lives easier.

625 words to know in your Target Language

If your learning a new language, these words will help you build a strong foundation.(Some tips and sites are include too)

Miscellaneous/Life Hacks

How to add music to your Blog

How to add your very own, custom homemade playlist to your blog?

How to Walk with Purpose?

Some tips on how to hold yourself in public and why.

Cheatsheet for Laundry Rooms

Saves a lot of money in the Laundry Room

How to Gird up your Loins?

A lesson in how to gird your loins.

How to Disappear Online

Please read and spread for the sake of abuse victims or stalker victims.

What to do during a Nuclear Attack

I hope you never have to use it but here are some guidelines to follow in the event of a nuclear attack

How to pull an All-Nighter.

A to-do list

Write a Thank You letter after your Interview

It leaves a good impression on your interviewer and increase your chances of passing the interview.

Laundry Tags: Meanings

A life hack that you’ll definitely need at some point.

Where to find free Movies and Series Online

Lots of sites. Lots and Lots of sites. I am not Kidding. Now go and chill without netflix. (Part II)

How to get a Refund?

Get your stuff or a refund.

HOW TO DO EVERYTHING FROM SCRATCH

This starts at the most absolute basics of gardening and planting, provides definitions, and hopefully is easily understandable. This is a MUST-READ. (Farming)

Discuss your wages

It’s your right to share your salary, not doing so could be holding you back.

Youtube Tutorials for Basically EVERYTHING

This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult.

Safety

Emergency Evacuation - Items to Gather

A text list of suggested items to acquire in the event of an emergency.

If someone you know is in an abusive relationship

AN ABBREVIATED GUIDE TO ‘Holy shit!!! My friend is in an abusive relationship what do I do’ and what not to do.

Defense Tips for Women

Defense and Safety tips a woman MUST know. (Part II)

An app that informs your Emergency contacts if you are inactive in a set period of time.(Could prevent rape attempts if used correctly)

If a Man gets Physical

How to check if a mirror is one way or two-way

If you are trapped in a smoke-filled apartment: What to Do

How to get out of Hand-binds

How to get out of the bunker of a Car

How to track Anonymous asks.

How to pick a Lock

Traits and Warning signs of an Abuser

What to do if a bigot pulls your Hijab (from behind)

What to do if someone pulls of a Muslim Woman's Hijab? (To do List for both Men and Women)

[bisexual-horror-fan]

For the Drabble giveaway….

Can We get some Human!Freddy X reader… but make it Platonic?

Like….. a ‘My best friend is a dream demon’ kind of thing almost?

Oh hell yeah I can do that AJ! Human!Fred is SUCH a weakness of mine! And lord knows I could do more platonic stuff, the idea of having a friendship with him is a fun one! Everyone is feeling the softer vibes this time around, hmm? I love it. What a change of pace! I hope you dig this! Let's go!

---

Rating. SFW. Length. 802 Words. Human!Freddy Krueger X GN! Reader. Platonic. Warnings. Literally none. Uhm. Mentions Of Cheating? Hot Takes On Sandwhiches? Legit This Is Pretty Inoffensive.

---

Lunch Buddies.

---

How had it started again?

You couldn’t quite recall the exact day. See every single Friday you liked to come to this little diner in Springwood for lunch. You loved to come by and look out the window onto the main street, just people watching and eating. A relaxing break in the middle of your day, it always refreshes you before going back off to work, always makes you finish your day strong and give your weekend a great start.

The food was always really good. Frequent specials, a wide selection, coffee was good, they even made all their own desserts and the lemonade in the summer? To die for.

Funnily enough he was the one who turned you on to that. You were looking over the menu, having trouble deciding on what to get to drink and that is when he put forth the idea. He was in the booth next to yours, he turned and interjected, “If I may suggest, the lemonade here? If you haven’t had it, amazing.” and you decided well fuck it, why not?

He turned back around and was reading the paper and you were people watching like usual and when your lunch was brought, you did it absentmindedly, bringing the ice cold glass up and taking a drink. The reaction you had was natural and immediate, “Oh my God.” You set the glass down and turned around, “You weren’t kidding.” That made him look over his shoulder as he said with a smile, “What you doubted me?”

And that was how the conversation was struck up. You both kept talking over the back of the shared booth seat that day. Next Friday you saw him again and the same thing ended up happening. And the Friday after that. The next Friday when you saw him and greeted each other and he said, “We both know we are gonna end up talking all lunch again. Want to just sit with me?”

You had lunch at the same table that day and it was so fucking nice. It was the next Friday when he asked, “Why are you always looking out the window?” You glanced at him and smiled, “Oh. Well I like to people watch.”

“Yeah? Is it that interesting?” He asked curiously and you nodded, “Yeah! Especially coming to the same place every week. I love the food here but the location is the best.”

“The location is a factor?” He seemed unconvinced and you fired back, “Duh Fred. We are right on main street, heart of town, you get all types running through here and you can start to see repeat people, learn their routines.” You said it so excitedly and that made his eyebrows raise, “Learn their patterns, eh? You some kinda stalker?” He teased, “Never took you for the type.”

“Well when you put it that way it does sound a little creepy but it isn’t like that!” You both got along so well. He convinced you that any sandwich that claimed to be a grilled cheese but had more than cheese and some kind of spead on it wasn’t a TRUE grilled cheese, but a melt. That day was hilarious because who knew he could be so passionate about something trivial about food, you almost snorted into your malt as he defended his point until you conceded “Okay! Okay! I believe you! A bacon grilled cheese isn't a thing! It’s a melt, now can we PLEASE drop it?!”

And you in turn showed him that yes people watching could be fun and enjoyable. He denied it but one day when you weren’t even looking out the window he nudged you and said “She’s back again!” You looked across the table to him, seeing he had his gaze fixed outside as you asked, “Who?”

“Mrs.Green. She is back. I think she is going to meet him again. I mean she is married for Chirst’s sake, can you belie-” and he looked across the table to see you smirking and you said, “Oh I thought you didn’t CARE about people watching.”

He muttered, “Alright, maybe you’re right and it is kinda interesting.” He brought his coffee cup up and took a deep drink of it before trying to change the subject but you didn’t let him. “No, no, go on. So you really think she is going to meet him?”

And he took the in you gave him to talk about it and you listened to him go on about how he was utterly convinced of the illicit affair of the suburban housewife outside. Making up stories and concocting theories was half the fun of people watching after all.

It was an unlikely friendship, who would have thought that if you could have decided on a drink that day that it might have never happened.

[nntssy-old]

Time Heals

Written for Writer's Month 2021, Day 12 - Time. 

Fandom: Gintama Characters/ships: Hijikata/Mitsuba, Hijikata/Tae, Hijikata&Gintoki, Kondou&Sachan Word count: 4396 Rating: T? Also on AO3

They say time heals all wounds. If they haven't healed, there hasn't been enough time.

He already left her behind once. But this time was different. There will be no spicy crackers sent to their headquarters every month. There will be no peeking over Sougo's shoulder while he's reading the letter that came with them. There will be no hope that she'll be able to find her happiness one day despite everything. There will be no chance for him to atone for ruining the only chance at happiness she had got.

Every once in a while Hijikata goes to the stash of crackers she had been sending them and takes a pack. The pile is gradually decreasing — he suspects Sougo is eating them too, although he has never seen him do it.

He bites on one of those crackers and thinks about what he could have done differently. About her spending the decade alone in her house, after everyone she knew and cared about left her behind. He could have stayed with her. They could have taken her with them to Edo. They could have found some way to get her a proper medical treatment…

His vision gets blurry, but he blames it on the damn spice. Because he has no right to cry after everything he had or hadn't done.

He finishes the pack by adding some mayonnaise occasionally. Both his eyes and taste buds burn by that time, but he feels a little bit better. For the time being.

*** 

It is the middle of the day, and the chief of the Shinsengumi is nowhere to be seen, but there's some minor thing the vice-chief can't do without him. Knowing Kondou's habits, Hijikata goes straight to the Koudoukan doujo. Next stop would be Snack Smile.

There is always a ladder or something else left near the enclosure wall — usually from the back side of the doujo — that Kondou probably used to get in. This time it's a few crates stacked upon each other. He jumps on them and over the wall easily, and, indeed, here he is — the commander of the Shinsengumi, lying unconscious on the grass, no doubt after being discovered hiding under kotatsu or something. The vice-chief doesn't feel sorry for him one bit — his stalker of a superior had it coming.

After a sigh, Hijikata just grabs at the back of Kondou's jacket and drags him towards the exit.

He has done it a few times before — before Mitsuba's death, that is. But now, for some reason, the situation brings the memories of a more distant past — how he dragged Sougo to the doujo practice back in Bushuu.

Passing by the front side of the doujo, he glances at the porch, and for a moment he sees her — Mitsuba — again. Seeing him away, as she used to back then, and smiling. Startled, he even drops the cigarette out from his mouth.

But as sudden as it appeared, the vision goes away, and it's Otae who is sitting on the porch.

"Good afternoon, Hijikata-san," she says to him with a smile. "Good work, as always." But then her face and tone change to concerned as she adds, "Are you alright? You look pale… like you've seen a ghost."

He might as well has seen it.

Hijikata tries to compose himself again, but all he can muster is a nod in response, not even the usual apology for his superior's behavior. He proceeds with dragging Kondou-san away in silence.

For the next two months, he sends Yamazaki on the dragging-Kondou-back duty.

***

He hasn't been to Mitsuba's grave since the funeral. A good chunk of the Shinsengumi was present then, with Kondo and Sougo doing all the speeches, so he just mixed in with the crowd and didn't stand out much.

He brings her a bunch of her favorite flowers. He didn't do anything like this in her life even once. In retrospect, he probably should have. The flowers are of the wild kind, and while in abundance in the countryside, it's not so easy to find them in a big city. But there aren't many impossible things for Hijikata once he sets his mind on something.

He sets them near the gravestone and looks at her name etched on it. Looks at the dates. Thinks how in between those numbers there is an entirety of human life — her life — even if it was a rather short one. Thinks how one day he too will be reduced to just a name and numbers on a stone — and that's a best-case scenario. Thinks that, if he ever gets a proper burial, he would like for it to be here, next to her.

Hijikata barely suppresses the urge to touch the stone. His throat feels strained.

In a hindsight, he should have probably brought the spicy crackers with him. But there are many things he should have done.

Hijikata leaves without saying a word. But his imagination decides to play tricks on him. Because turning away, he catches a glimpse of Mitsuba in the corner of his eye. She looks saddened.

***

It's late autumn, and they are still a bit shorthanded after the Itou incident, and there's no one brave enough and available to get the chief back, so Hijikata goes himself for once.

He hesitates a little bit before getting over the wall. Like a damn thief. Or worse — stalker.

From here it's the usual routine: locate Kondou-san, grab him, pay respects to the hostess, leave.

Otae is sweeping fallen leaves with a broom near the entrance. He raises his hand in a silent greeting.

"Haven't seen you in a while, Hijikata-san," she says with a smile. But there's something else to it. Hesitance? Concern? Sadness? "I'm sorry… Gin-san told me about what happened… I'm sorry for your loss." She bows her head.

Someone has his tongue a bit too loose.

"There's no need…" he starts, but he's unsure of what to say.

"He also told me that I might have reminded you of her. I'm sorry."

That damn Yorozuya!

It is true that the first time — the very first time — he saw Otae, she reminded him faintly of Mitsuba. But he has given it a thorough thought recently and came to a conclusion that the similarities were rather superficial. Both were in charge of their younger brothers after being orphaned, which made them mature faster. There are also devotion to a proper lady image and a slight similarity in the hairstyles. Also the smile, the kind of which makes your heart skip a beat — although he is pretty sure that with Otae it's because of fear half the time. That's about it. Mitsuba was a delicate and humble woman. Meanwhile, Yorozuya calls the Shimura girl a gorilla woman, and he's… not entirely wrong, as much as Hijikata hates to agree with him.

Kondou lets out some grunting noise breaking a rather awkward silence. Talk about gorillas. He seems to be coming about though, so it is time to leave.

"Apologies for the disturbance," Hijikata says as he turns towards the exit.

"Take care," he hears her voice in response, slightly muted.

***

Next time is less awkward. Or so he thinks at first.

"Hijikata-san, you're dropping the ash all over the place," she reprimands him. 

It startles him a little bit. But luckily, there's no threat in her voice. He's not quite sure what he can do about it though — it's not like there's a—

"Here." She holds out an ashtray towards him. "I keep it for when someone like Otose-san visits."

Hijikata stands there for a moment, holding Kondou by the back of his collar and looking uncertainly at the object, but then taps the cigarette on the edge of the ashtray, while Otae is still holding it.

Somehow, the gesture feels way too intimate.

***

There are usually several bottles of sake stored under a certain loose piece of flooring back at his quarters. They are there in case he needs some time alone to unwind after an especially stressful day. Or to drown away his sorrow and guilt — like in today's case.

Recently he has relied on his stash perhaps way too often. The amount that usually lasted him for months he now drinks up in a matter of two or three weeks. He has forgotten to restock, so right now there is only one half-empty bottle. Not enough to calm all the intrusive thoughts. 

But it's too late into the night, and Hijikata isn't in the mood to go anywhere or deal with anyone, so he will need to make do with what he has. He hopes that it at least will dull the anguish inside of him.

He doesn't even bother with getting a cup, just uncorks the bottle and drinks straight from it.

From the corner of his eye, he can almost see Mitsuba again. She looks concerned. With a hint of disapproval. 

***

This time it is tea.

"Oi, Hijikata-san, would you mind joining me for some tea? I prepared too much because I thought Shin-chan and others were coming, but it seems they're running late. We wouldn't want it all go to waste, would we?" Her voice sounds way too innocent. "Please, I insist."

Otae isn't a woman who will take no for an answer, and he isn't feeling very adventurous today, so he props unconscious Kondou's back against the wall of the doujo, and reluctantly joins her at the porch. The ashtray is already waiting at his side as he sits down.

They do some small talk — well, mostly her — about the weather and the sorts of tea — but otherwise sit in silence, sipping on the hot liquid, watching the clouds pass by. 

It's not uncomfortable. Rather soothing actually.

Perhaps having a calm moment like this wouldn't hurt every once in a while.

***

Next time when Kondou is missing from the Shinsengumi compound, it is right on time for the quarterly reports, and Hijikata is drowning in the paperwork. Reading a particularly lengthy account of accomplishments, complaints, and suggestions from the 1st Division — Sougo apparently does it on purpose — he finally snaps and goes looking for his chief who is supposed to do at least part of this. 

But Kondou is nowhere to be seen at the doujo either. Hijikata has done two circles around the building, checked all the pits, but the usual perpetrator is nowhere to be seen. But Otae is clearly at home today, so her devoted stalker is probably somewhere inside as well. He is starting to lose his patience.

Hijikata cautiously knocks at the main door.

"Excuse me," he starts, trying to suppress the irritation in his tone, but the door slides away too quickly for him to finish, and now he is standing face-to-face with Otae. At a rather close distance. Perhaps too close. He even forgets about being annoyed.

She smiles at him in a greeting, without saying a word, and puts a finger to her lips as in saying "be quiet". The smile on her face is a mischievous one. She gestures for him to go towards the west side of the building. It almost feels like they're accomplices of some sort. But he just wants his chief to get back to work — there's nothing wrong about that. 

As Hijikata follows her directions and goes around the building, she slides the door open there and points under the floor. He squats down and looks under it. It's pretty dark out there, and it takes time for his eyes to adapt.

Once they do, he is able to discern two silhouettes lying on the ground facing each other. Now that he listens carefully, he can even hear some muffled sounds and their muted voices. There's also a faint smell of natto and potato chips.

One of the people hiding under the floor is unmistakably Kondou-san. Another seems to be the Glasses Ninja girl who usually follows Yorozuya around. And they're playing Uno of all things. While Hijikata has been buried in paperwork in a stuffy room back at the headquarters. His blood is about to boil.

"Sarutobi-san..." Otae meanwhile has bent over the wooden flooring to peek under it, her body half-suspended upside down.

The two stalker buddies turn right away. Their faces are pale like they've seen a ghost.

"I wondered why we had problems with rats recently," Otae continues, "but perhaps it is because of all the food crumbs the two of you are leaving around." 

"Kondou-san," Hijikata says in turn, trying to sound polite despite the anger, "if you're feeling bored, there's plenty of reports for you to read back at the Shinsengumi compound." He is grabbing at the hilt of his katana. Otae has already jumped to the ground next to him — he doesn't even ponder on when she has managed to get her naginata. 

But the ninja is fast. She grabs Kondou by the collar and swiftly crawls away in a perpendicular direction. By the time he and Otae catch up to them near the other side of the building, the so-called Sarutobi-san is already jumping over the wall carrying the chief of the Shinsengumi with her arms under his knees and back. 

Hijikata lets out a sigh.

"Any idea where they might have headed?"

~~ Intermission 1 - Sachan ~~

She was hoping to find Gin-san at the doujo today, especially after he loudly proclaimed such an intention yesterday.

But it seems there's only Otae-san now, doing the chores in the yard, not even her brother or Kagura-chan are hanging around. And Sachan doesn't even have any work today to busy herself with.

While thinking of what to do, hanging on the ceiling, she hears a rustling sound from somewhere under the floor. Perhaps Otae isn't completely alone after all.

Avoiding being noticed by the hostess, Sachan crawls under the floor, and indeed, Kondo-san is also on duty today — well, not on his proper duty duty — snacking on some potato chips and watching Otae's feet from afar. She decides to sneak up on him. It is so easy to startle him that she has to forcefully cover his mouth so as to not betray their presence.

"Ah, it's you, Assassin girl," he says in a muffled voice.

"You seem to be bored."

"I'm not bored, just taking a break!"

"Do you want to play some Uno?"

They start playing, but the chief of the Shinsengumi seems to be as unlucky in games as he is in love. Which, of course, gets him frustrated. She occasionally forcibly covers his mouth again to prevent him from getting too loud.

Suddenly, while they are still engrossed in another round of the game, her instincts kick in, and Sachan feels some sort of dangerous presence. Perhaps, even a killing intent.

"Sarutobi-san..." she hears a very familiar voice, as if right on cue.

Sachan turns to the voice — Otae's head is upside down as she is looking at their hideout under the floor — menacing aura and all. But she's not alone. There is also the Demonic Vice-Chief of the Shinsengumi right beside her, looking angry and just as his nickname suggests. Each of them alone would look like pretty bad news right now, but together... they are like a match made in Hell.

Sachan doesn't even hear what they have to say, her self-preservation instincts taking over, and all her senses telling her to run. She grabs Kondou-san by the collar of his jacket — in an act of solidarity, or perhaps she has already grown rather fond of him to just leave him behind in the imminent danger — and retreats.

Jumping from roof to roof, with protesting Kondou in her arms, she thinks that her love rival and the vice-chief actually look rather good together. She wonders what is the relationship between the two.

Sachan drops the chief of the Shinsengumi off at his headquarters. Literally. Through the roof.   

~~ Intermission ends ~~

Next time Hijikata is unlucky enough to come just before lunch.

She sees him from the east side of the building even before he's able to find Kondou-san. Out of courtesy, he comes closer to ask her. But his stomach betrays him in a rather loud voice.

"Oh my, Hijikata-san, you must be hungry. We are actually about to have some tamagoyaki. Why don't you join us?"

Oh, shit, the infamous abused eggs. They are slowly becoming a local legend. Of the horror kind.

"No, I'm in a hurry actually…"

"Oh… But you can't work on an empty stomach, can you? Wait here, I will bring you some." And she rushes back inside before he even has a chance to stop her.

Hijikata ponders on how rude it would be to refuse now. And what body part he should protect from the punch. But before he comes to any conclusion, she's already back with a small plate and a radiant smile on her face.

Otae doesn't take no for an answer. But he isn't even capable of saying no to such an enthusiastic face. Perhaps because he just has difficulties saying no to women in general. Yes, that must be it.

It's just burnt eggs, how bad could it be? Not to mention he has his emergency bottle of mayonnaise with him.

~~ Intermission 2 - Gintoki ~~

"Look, he's about to put mayonnaise on it!" Kagura lets out a loud whisper, peeking through a slightly open sliding door. "Ew!"

"Shh, maybe it will cancel out somehow. The more he eats the less we will need to. Until Shinpachi makes some normal food." Gintoki's head is just above hers, as he's peeping in the next room as well. He is expecting Otae to stop Hijikata from desecrating already desecrated eggs any moment now.

But it never comes.

"He's eating it!" Kagura exclaims.

Hijikata is sitting with his back towards them, so they can't see his face. But lately, the vice-chief of the Shinsengumi has been looking… not his best. He has reasons for moping around, but it has already been like half a year since the death of Okita's sister.

Like you're the one to talk when it comes to coping.   

They keep watching as Hijikata finishes his plate, without either choking or puking. He is about to return the plate and doesn't even look like he's in a dire need of a bathroom.  

"Hijikata-san, you need to take better care of yourself. If not for yourself, then for people who care about you," Gintoki hears Otae's quiet voice suddenly.

Says the woman who is about to give him a food poisoning.

"There are fewer and fewer people like that lately," Hijikata responds in a bit of a grave voice after some pause.

As he returns the plate, their hands — Otae's and Hijikata's — touch. The man freezes.

"You're… mistaken," she responds. There's seemingly an eye contact, and the vice-chief looks somewhat surprised.

Gintoki hears Kagura hold her breath and lean in a bit closer. Like she's sometimes doing when watching a romance drama.

Coming to his senses, Hijikata is visibly flustered and suddenly in a rush to leave. So much that he almost drops the plate. But still, it doesn't look like diarrhea is the cause.

"It seems Kondou-san is not here today… So I'll be on my way… Thank you for the meal." The vice-chief bows exaggeratedly and turns away to leave.

"Here goes our hope of salvation," says Gintoki after Hijikata isn't in sight anymore, but the possibility of food poisoning isn't what occupies his mind at the moment.

Otae hasn't moved from her place yet.

Kagura turns away from the door. She seems to be contemplating something. Perhaps processing what she has just seen. Gintoki follows and can't help but plunge into thinking as well.

Meanwhile, Kondou slides from under the kotatsu, looking rather sleepy. 

"Has someone called me?" 

~~ Intermission ends ~~

It is late into the night, and the silence seems too loud again. Hijikata is thinking about opening up his stash — he has restocked recently after all.

He gets one bottle out and is looking at the label, contemplating.

People that care about me, huh?

Kondou's concerned face comes to his mind. Sougo hasn't tried to kill him as much lately either. He remembers Yamazaki and his other subordinates exchanging glances when he was shouting at them while still being hungover. Even Yorozuya hasn't been as cocky when they happen to cross paths lately.

You're… mistaken. 

Eventually, he decides to put the bottle back.

Perhaps a cup of tea might be better.

As he's about to head towards the kitchen, Hijikata catches a glimpse of Mitsuba in the corner of his eye again, but the vision disappears as soon as he turns his head.

He's pretty sure there has been a trace of a smile on her face this time.

***

It's early spring and another drag-Kondou-back-to-work day. 

Hijikata is making a circle around the Koudoukan doujo in search of his superior. He's about to pass by the main entrance, expecting to see the irresistible — as in you have no chance of resistance — owner and her charming smile.

But it's Yorozuya's uncouth mug instead.

"Yo," he says simply.

Hijikata gets startled.

"What are you doing here?"

"Were you expecting to see someone else, eh, Hijikata-kun?" says the silver-haired samurai in his insufferable tone. "Someone prettier maybe? With a ponytail maybe? Am I not enough for you, Hijikata-kun?" He pauses but then adds with an even more shit-eating grin than before, "How were the tamagoyaki last time?"

Hijikata is reminded of accidentally touching Otae's hand instead.

You're… mistaken.

"I… You…" He is considerably flustered — there's no way around that — but for what reason?

"She went out to buy some groceries. Must be back soon," Yorozuya adds simply, picking at his nose, not even looking at him.

Hijikata calms down — more or less — and just goes past the other man, intending to proceed with his search.

"You know… if there's such thing as Heaven" — there's seriousness in Gintoki's voice that makes Hijikata stop in his tracks — "she probably just wants for you to be happy. Just as you did for her."

He remembers Mitsuba's concerned face conjured by his imagination.

"I know," he responds out loud without facing the other. But in actuality, it is a rather fresh thought in his mind. 

"You wouldn't want to disappoint her, would you?"

He didn't think of it like that before. Not explicitly, at least.

"Anyway, the Gorilla should be just around this corner. Otae has knocked him out just before leaving," Yorozuya says in a more casual tone.

Hijikata finds Kondou-san just where he was told. He grabs his superior by the collar and proceeds to the exit, raising a hand in goodbye to Yorozuya, still without facing him. The vice-chief's mind is deep in thought.

As he's turning out of the gate, Hijikata comes face-to-face with Otae. Again.

She's smiling radiantly. While he feels like he's getting flustered for the second time today.

"Good afternoon, Hijikata-san. Are you leaving already?"

He only manages to say something barely intelligible in response. He can almost hear Yorozuya laughing.

"Too bad… Thank you for your hard work anyway."

He nods and proceeds with dragging Kondou-san away past her. There are a lot of things on his mind. 

***

He comes to visit Mitsuba again.

He brings her a bunch of her favorite flowers. He always forgets their name, so there are certain difficulties when talking to the florists, but he is persistent in trying to describe them to the best of his ability. There aren't many impossible things for Hijikata once he sets his mind on something after all.

The grave is well tended to — Sougo must be visiting much more often than he is. And he better be.

He sets the flowers near the gravestone and looks at her name etched on it.

"Long time no see."

That's not exactly true. She has come to him — to his mind — quite often, almost every time he was left alone.

Hijikata sits down in front of the grave and starts talking. 

He starts with little things: the stuff that has happened recently, how is Sougo doing, how are Kondou and the others.

He talks, and talks, and talks. 

He bows his head and apologizes for not visiting sooner, and more often in general. He voices all of his regrets. The things he should have done. Apologizes for both the things he had done and the things he hadn't.

He promises to take good care of Sougo.

He tells her of all the connections they have made since coming to Edo. Yamazaki. Matsudaira and his daughter. Yorozuya. The Shimura siblings. Tells her of the weird rivalry Sougo has with the China Amanto girl. How their days are almost never dull.

He tells her all this so she doesn't have to worry. So she can rest in peace.

In the end, he asks her permission for him to move on. Not to forget — because her image will forever be ingrained in his heart. But he also feels that there is still some place for others too. To move on, for the sake of the people who depend on him. Who — just so happened — care about him, as hard as it is for him to acknowledge this. 

Then Hijikata sits in silence, with his head down, for a long, long time, as if indeed waiting for someone to answer.

When, in the end, he stands up, he feels lighter. Like the cage around his chest has finally broken.

"I will bring the crackers next time," he says with a smile before turning away to leave. After a few paces, he stops and slightly turns back to look at the grave.

He sees Mitsuba in the corner of his eye again. She is holding the flowers and smiling. He intends to keep it that way.    

***

The spring is in full force now, and the trees are blooming.

He doesn't remember when he stopped even thinking of sending someone else to retrieve the chief of the Shinsengumi from the Koudoukan doujo. 

For once, he decides to enter through the front entrance.

It doesn't take long for Otae to notice him. She's already waving at him. And, of course, smiling. And he cannot but smile — just a little bit — back.

They say time heals all wounds. If they haven't healed, there hasn't been enough time. Or the right words haven't been said yet. Or, more importantly, heard.

[bewitching-elizabeth-olsen]

Press: Elizabeth Olsen’s 20/21 Vision

The Marvel star takes us inside her transformation to a new kind of hero

GALLERY LINKS

Studio Photoshoots > 2021 > Session 002

Magazine Scans > 2021 > Grazia

  GRAZIA: Elizabeth Olsen is a trooper. We are in a field in Surrey on the outskirts of the Marvel studios; it’s a biting minus one and she is standing in a Chanel broderie anglaise sundress and increasingly soggy UGG boots. Her feline cheekbones face skywards, but Olsen is slowly sinking into the mud, trilling out high notes to keep herself warm (possibly distracted) and of course with spirits high. “It was the wind I think, that was worse than the sideways rain,” she jokes as we trundle back to the soundstage hangar that we are using as a studio. It’s the kind of moment that could go viral on Instagram, that is, if Olsen were on social media. Yet one of the biggest stars of our current cultural moment is completely offline – and that surprising fact might just be the least interesting thing about her. If anything, it is a sign of how Olsen has come into her own as a confident, decisive star with the power to create her own universe.

On the cusp of her 32nd birthday, Olsen is fastidious and professional, yes, but also bright, engaging, creative, and collaborative. Born and raised in the California sunshine, she is surprisingly at ease in the blustery conditions that deluge the English countryside in late January – or, it’s that she’s very good at acting. “It was one of the ugliest days of this winter – just hilarious – but I knew we wanted the shot,” the 31-year-old actress says.

Since October, Olsen’s been living in the leafy British countryside with her “man-guy-partner,” musician Robbie Arnett, just a short drive to the Surrey compound where Doctor Strange is being filmed. It’s a closed set, masked in secrecy as much as the socially distanced masked crew dotted all over the 200-acre studio. “It feels right being in a small city right now,” she says.

Indeed, Olsen is a modern-day Renaissance woman. Learned and dedicated to her craft, she studied at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts, with a semester at the Moscow Art Theatre School studying Stanislavski. (Surely, no matter how much of a genius the Russian theatre master was, he never could have conceived of the Marvel universe.)

Approached with the concept of WandaVision, “I thought it was perfect for television, and a very original idea that made me excited,” Olsen says. Also, she was happy she would get to work with Bettany again: “He’s very precise, like me.”

In many ways, WandaVision is a love letter to the first American television heyday. Olsen, who stayed up late watching Nick at Nite reruns as a child, says it’s a bit of a homecoming in that way. “I was a very hammy, performative child,” she explains. “So, I do think I got to live out some sort of childhood dream doing the show.”

“The highlight was really getting to tell a story about these superhero individuals told in different decades of American sitcoms, trying to match the tone of those sitcoms in order to help orate the story,” she says. “But keep it playful and fun.” Little did she know just how much we’d need that.

Half-filmed pre-pandemic in Atlanta and half post-pandemic in LA – with a six-month hiatus in-between “until all the unions figured out to work safely” – WandaVision was released almost a year into the pandemic. In many ways, it is an artifact of its time: centered upon a yearning for the simplicity of earlier days, yet shot through with the creeping realization that such days may never return, and perhaps never existed to begin with.

Indeed, the weekly story of suburban superheroes Wanda and Vision has played out like a parable of our times: Wanda living in her chosen bubble, her trauma resonating in the world we find ourselves in today. Olsen appreciates a good metaphor, but feels people may be projecting a bit much. “I see Wanda as a victim of extreme trauma, who does not understand how to process it,” she explains. “She has been a human experiment.” (Not to belabor the point, but haven’t we all?)

Being summoned by Marvel is like being called to a parallel universe for an actor: thrilling, yes, but not without a tinge of terror and a dash of the unknown. Six years in, though, it’s become like family in some ways. As a member of two dynasties – Olsen and Marvel – family is key to Olsen. She checks in on her mom (who still lives in California) and, like many American daughters, is researching which vaccine mom should get.

The performative gene runs strong through her family, of course – and no, we don’t mean her sisters. Olsen’s mom was a ballerina. Still, when she first started auditioning, Olsen took special care to carve her own path – one far from Full House. “Nepotism is a thing and I’m very aware of it,” she says. “And of course, I’ve always wanted to do it alone.” She did just that, her acting credentials consistently rising as her sister’s cemented their fashion kudos. Olsen bears a noticeable resemblance to her fashion-designer older sisters and her sartorial DNA is similarly low-key. She loves The Row (of course) and NYC label Khaite’s denim and cashmere.

For Olsen, her day job is like playing dress-up. This time around, she walked away from WandaVision with the girdle worn underneath her 50s wedding dress, laughing, “I mean, to have a custom undergarment like that, I felt like it was necessary!” Her WandaVision co-star, Kathryn Hahn, also became her shopping cohort when filming.

“She’s dangerous!” Olsen says. “She has the most exquisite, minimal but expensive taste.” It was Hahn who led Olsen to the independent boutique where she found the belted Julia Jentzsch trench that she wore to our shoot.

At the rail of samples compiled by the stylist, Olsen gravitates towards a spacious linen boilersuit and longline cashmere cardigan. Has she always been a tomboy, I ask? “I think I felt uncomfortable being a child being told they were pretty,” she says of her early auditions at age 10, adding that her love of ballet and musical theater could leave her “feeling exposed” at a young age.

Speaking of over-exposure, Olsen is distinctly offline in a time when so many are defined by their social media presence. Among celebrities and regular digital citizens, the perfect balance of online and off is up for debate, but Olsen is clear: social media saturation is a choice for all of us, and everyone needs to draw their own boundaries.

“It has to be a personal decision, right?” she begins. “So, my opinion has nothing to do with what anyone else does or doesn’t do with it.” Her own journey began when she momentarily dabbled with Instagram (since deleted), while filming Ingrid Goes West, director Matt Spicer’s frightening and funny debut feature about a social stalker, co-starring Aubrey Plaza.

Up until that time, she says, “I had never touched it before. I thought, ‘This is an interesting social experiment for myself, to see if it is a good source to talk about charities or a good source to talk about small projects, or to share something goofier about myself.’ But I think at the end of the day, what I discovered was one, I’m really bad at creating a perceived identity!”

“I didn’t find it very organic to who I am as a person,” she continues. “I found some joy in putting up silly videos, but I think the main reason I stopped – not I think, I know the main reason why I stopped – was because of the organization in my brain.”

“Lots of horrible things happen all the time. Or, lots of great things happen all the time. Whether it’s something terrifying, like a natural disaster or a school shooting or a death, there are so many things that happen, and I love processing information. I love reading articles. I love listening to podcasts. I love communicating about things that are happening in the world to people around me. And what I don’t love is that my brain organization was saying, ‘Should I post about this?’ That seemed very unhealthy ….”

“And to then contribute to these platitudes that I don’t really love, you have to subscribe to two different ways of thinking,” she says. “So, I didn’t like that, and there was a lot of it that was just bothering me for my own sake of what value systems I have.”

That’s not to say that there’s any inherent value system – pro or con – in using Instagram. Olsen is clear that like any other method of expression, it’s up to the individual to use it as they see fit. “I do see a use of it and how you can use it well for work,” she says. “But I don’t think that I would like to use that tool to promote myself.”

She’s private for a millennial yes, but not prim. On the photoshoot, lockdown experiences were shared, and Olsen recounted her (hilarious) first at-home bikini wax: banishing her husband upstairs “for an extended chat with his therapist,” her trusted waxer on speed dial, and microwave set to ping! (Yes, Olsen is a trooper, as I mentioned.)

We catch up over Zoom a week later, her hair once again pulled up in a casual topknot, her cashmere turtleneck simmering in a dark claret, and her entire being suffused with covetable understatement. She chats buoyantly against an unexpected backdrop of pirate ship wallpaper in the playroom of a house she shares with Arnett, who proposed with an emerald and diamond ring in 2019.

“We first started to try to make it the gym, but it was so cramped,” she says of the jolly space. The home gym was instead awarded a larger room, where Olsen loves to maintain a varied fitness regime – running, yoga, dancing, more – though after all the intense Marvel filming, she jokes, “maybe it’s time to give up on my body?!” Being comic book fit does sound grueling or “time-consuming fun” as she anoints the “strenuous physical demands.”

Like most of us, she is longing for the spring, but she still takes a regular constitutional walk in a nearby Richmond park, whatever the weather. “The deer are incredible; every time I see them I feel alive,” she says. “We have been lucky to have nature around us in lockdown.” It’s a marked difference from her paparazzi-populated home in the Hills. “They know our walks, where we get coffee, work-out…,” she trails off.

Her haven in Los Angeles is her backyard, complete with a mid-century swimming pool and an edible garden. “It’s crazy the blackberries grow like weeds! I love watching a kid’s first reaction to an edible garden,” she gushes That has been the part of the pandemic travel restrictions she’s found hardest: missing her friend’s children growing up, and others who have been born this past year that she’s yet to meet. They will no doubt all be treated to her homemade blackberry sorbet on her return stateside.

Yet, her time on British soil will likely be prolonged, with a prospective indie commencing filming here when Doctor Strange wraps. Prompted for more detail, her firm charm kicks in. “I can’t jinx it!” she insists. Still, she will share that she’s heavily involved in the creative, and that funding smaller productions in the current climate has been a challenge.

Through it all, Olsen has remained determined and calm. “I feel patience is my superpower. But my weakness also,” she says. “I feel like it gets tested more than others who don’t have a lot of patience. If someone learns you’re easygoing or that you’re relaxed, sometimes it gets taken advantage of.” While she waits for the green light on that film, she is busy producing a new children’s cartoon with Arnett, “about loving and caring for our world,” and has also written a children’s book about to be published by Random House, all while the demands of Marvel life continue to surround her.

Indeed, Olsen is a superhero for the modern age: Multi-hyphenate, but fiercely devoted to the craft that she loves; instantly recognizable, yet thoughtfully protective of her private life; a woman with style, substance, success, and deep rewarding relationships with those around her; focused on a vision of a better world for us all.

Press: Elizabeth Olsen’s 20/21 Vision was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen