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lightblueminecraftorchid · 5 months ago

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with all the discussions around pronoun circles and similar practices, I’d like to add my thoughts as a Baby Queer TM:

u don’t get pronoun privileges until I’m sure you are cool.

“You” in this context can refer to a person or an institution, but the point stands. Unless I’m sure you’re gonna be chill about it, you don’t get pronoun privileges. Knowing my pronouns is a privilege, not a right.

Does having a compulsory pronoun share communicate to me that you’re cool?

Eh. Not really. It just tells me that I have to decide if you my pronoun privileges right now. And I’m probably not ready to share that yet.

#blue chatter #I’m all for an opt-in system #but any compulsory system throws into sharp relief an already painful struggle;#do I out myself or do I misgender myself?#just with less room to go back and change your mind later #bc here’s the thing. once you’re out. you’re *out*.#but if I have to officially declare my pronouns day 1 #then you can be so sure that I’m not saying my actual pronouns #I don’t know you. I don’t know how you treat trans people yet.#best to say ‘she/her’ and stick with it #but then there becomes an issue. because if I have a name tag that says she/her on it #or if all my official documentation has she/her on it #then if I decide later to come out. now it’s a Thing. now there’s an administrative process involved.#and what the heck happens if you’re genderfluid? and ur pronouns don’t stay the same every day?#nah. nah. opt-in system.#deciding I can trust you should not be an administrative process I have to do paperwork about

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