#I do this because I enjoy making myself cry

[hanniebaeee]

Code Love

Hyunjin x fem!reader

Warnings: nothing!!

Genre: colleagues to lovers, flufffff

Summary: Hyunjin is a brilliant post doc at the lab where you're perusing your PhD. He is such a sweet and sexy genius, and you are completely in love.

a/n : For all my science/research girlies 🤭

It was another late night at the lab. You were squinting at the test tubes in front of you trying to make sense of the results. But you were struggling to concentrate with the way your heart was pounding.

He was just sitting there, at his workstation, effortlessly spinning a pipette between his long, elegant fingers. Nothing for your dramatic heart to pound like that.

“Did you hear me, Y/N?” Hyunjin’s soft voice cut through your thoughts.

“Huh?” you blinked, attempting to act like you hadn’t just been imagining how those fingers would feel on your - never mind.

“I said,” Hyunjin grinned, “you’re incubating that reaction too long.”

“Oh, um, I knew that” you fumbled with the timer, cheeks heating up. “Totally knew that. Thanks, Hyunjin.”

“Sure, no problem,” he said, eyes sparkling like he enjoyed watching you unravel.

God, why was he like this?

That face? Those lips? And that brain? This was unfair. He had to have some flaw - how can a man be this perfect?

“Are you staying late tonight?” he asked casually, leaning back in his chair.

“I have to,” you mumbled. “This experiment is dragging on, and I have to submit the report by the end of the week.”

Hyunjin hummed, and said, “Oh good, I'll have some company then.”

You could literally see him doodling flowers into his book - he had nothing to do here. But yet every time you had to stay in late, he'd be hanging around too. Just the two of you.

Your brain immediately betrayed you, fueling your wild fantasy where he wasn’t staying late for work but because he secretly wanted to spend time alone with you. You were fighting so hard to maintain a shred of professionalism, but it was so hard when he was looking at you like that.

Hyunjin hummed softly under his breath as he continued to doodle, the sound sending tingles down your spine. Of course he was a good singer too. You just didn't understand what the universe even wanted from you anymore.

---

“I swear to God, Ji, if he twirls that pipette one more time, I’m going to launch myself across the lab bench, and just -” You were sprawled on the sofa in Jisung's apartment, sighing dramatically.

Jisung was your work bestie, working in the lab next door to yours. And he was the only one in the world who knew about your extreme devotion to Hyunjin.

Jisung burst out laughing, as he said, “This is bad, babe,”

“Bad? Jisung, I seriously can't even think when he's around.” you said. “Oh my God!!”

“Have you considered just telling him you like him?” Jisung smirked.

“Right, and ruin the perfectly good thing we have going where I pine silently while he ruins me with his brilliance? No, thank you.”

“You’re hopeless.”

---

The next late-night session happened way too soon, where Hyunjin wandered over to your bench, peering at your data from over your shoulder. He leaned in close, the scent of cologne (or whatever pheromones that he's sending your way) invading your senses - it's simply intoxicating.

“Want me to take a look at that?” he asked, “You've been spending way too much time on it.”

“Yeah,” you muttered, trying not to stutter. “It’s just...a lot of noise in the data.”

“Let me see,” he said, pulling a stool next to you. He reached for the keyboard, and your heart fluttered as his fingers brushed yours.

You wanted to cry. Please don't be so sweet and sexy at the same time, you begged internally. You cursed your body for betraying you with every glance while he explained what he was doing. You could feel the tension in your shoulders as you tried to focus on what he was saying.

Get a grip, Y/N, you reminded yourself. This is professional. Stop fantasizing about this ridiculously hot man who’s inexplicably obsessed with helping you.

When he finally looked up, you realized you’d been staring at him the whole time.

“What?” he asked, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

“Nothing... thanks. You’re really good at this,” you stammered.

He tilted his head, studying you for a moment.

“You’re good at this too, Y/N. We all have our bad days. Don’t sell yourself short.” he said, patting your shoulder gently before standing up.

You felt your heart squeeze at the sincerity in his tone, and you watched as he went back to his own seat.

Stop it. He’s being nice. Don’t read into it. Just focus on the work.

But it was so hard not to read into it. The way he leaned closer when he spoke, the way his fingersa brushed against yours when he passed you something, and the way he was always so soft with you.

Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it.

“Y/N, I’m begging you. BEGGING. Tell him. I'm sure he's dying to hear it.” Jisung said, smiling at the girl who handed over our coffees at the cafe.

“You don’t get it! I can't risk it, if he's just being nice, then -”

“Babe,” Jisung drawled, “what world do you live in?!”

“Don’t give me hope, Ji.” you sighed as you walked towards your lab, the early morning breeze cool against your skin.

“Hope? The man stays late every time you do, flirts with you nonstop, and compliments you after he does your work for you. At this point, I’m falling for him,” Jisung said, throwing his hands up. “Seriously, babe, if you don’t jump him soon, I might.”

---

The cold room was your least favorite part of the lab. You hated everything about it - the freezing temperature, its claustrophobic size and the damn protein extraction procedure that drained the life out of you.

But here you were, miserably clutching your samples and praying for the nightmare to end soon.

“Y/N?” Hyunjin’s voice echoed through the door as it opened, and you turned to see him stepping in.

Great. Now you were cold and flustered.

“How's the extraction going?” he asked, his tone light as he slipped on his gloves.

“Going wonderfully,” you muttered, shivering despite your layers.

He grinned, coming closer and watching you work.

“Do you want me to take over?” He asked, making you sigh.

“And miss out on the joy of freezing to death? Never,” you joked weakly, and Hyunjin laughed. “You're too nice, Hyunjin. But I've got this.”

“Nice?” he repeated, leaning back slightly but still watching you intently. “You sure about that?”

You froze, suddenly way too aware of how close he was standing. Was he teasing you? Was this flirting?

“I- I mean, yeah,” you stammered, breaking eye contact. “You’re always helping me...”

“Maybe I have my reasons.” Hyunjin tilted his head, his smile softening.

Your heart leapt into your throat as you asked, “Reasons?”

Before he could answer, the door swung open.

“How's your favorite experiment going?” Jisung's loud voice floated in. “Oh, hi Hyunjin!”

You didn't know if you wanted to strangle Jisung for ruining the moment or hug him for saving you from it.

Hyunjin, ever the sweetheart, just laughed and said, “Hi Jisung, I think she's doing just fine,”

“Of course she is,” Jisung said, moving aside for Hyunjin to step out.

“What was that?” He asked as soon as Hyunjin left.

“What are you doing here?!” you hissed. “We were getting somewhere, but also, if you hadn't come I would've fainted. Like I feel so dizzy, my gloves are all wet from sweating-”

“Y/N,” Jisung said, gripping your shoulders and shaking you lightly. “You like him. He obviously likes you. The universe is literally freezing you together in this cold room to force you to act. Next time, please -”

It was barely 5 am, and you groaned as you shuffled into the lab, your hair in a messy bun and sleep still stinging your eyes. But the bacterial cultures didn’t care about your sleep schedule - or lack thereof.

Throwing on your lab coat and gloves with the grace of a zombie, you started checking the growth plates with bleary eyes.

You’d barely managed to finish when Jisung strolled in, carrying two steaming cups of coffee.

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” he teased, setting a cup in front of you.

“I love you, Ji,” you muttered, taking the first sip and feeling a spark of life return to your body. “I don't know why I wanted to be a scientist.”

Jisung plopped down next to you, snickering, and started scrolling through his phone while you leaned your head against his shoulder. And he rested his head against yours, before placing a quick peck on your temple.

You were starting to fall asleep, when the lab door creaked open.

You both glanced up to see Hyunjin walk in. His cheeks were pink from the cold and he stopped at the door for a second, his eyes fixed on you.

“Morning,” he greeted, and you gave him a small wave, still too sleepy to form words. Jisung returned the greeting, and then left quickly.

You noticed Hyunjin’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. That's new. He moved to his workstation, setting down his bag and pulling out his laptop.

You sat up straighter, something about Hyunjin’s silence gnawing at you. He didn’t even glance your way, which was unusual.

Hyunjin, meanwhile, was battling a whirlwind of emotions. He knew you and Jisung were close friends - you’d mentioned it so many times. But seeing the way your head rested against his shoulder and Jisung had kissed your temple - it just looked way too intimate. Too cosy.

He hated feeling this way, especially when you weren’t his to begin with. Still, the disappointment twisted in his chest and he didn't know what to do about it. So he focused on his work.

But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop his gaze from drifting back to you.

---

You let it go on till about noon. But it was killing you - you weren't used to this kind of behavior from Hyunjin and it was starting to stress you out. So summoning your courage, you walked over to Hyunjin and said, “Hey,”

He glanced up, his expression neutral as he said, “Hey.”

“You okay?” you asked, trying to keep your tone light. “You're so...quiet.”

“I’m fine. Just a lot on my mind.” Hyunjin said, giving you a small smile.

“You sure?” you pressed, feeling a strange pang of hurt.

He nodded, but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah. Don’t worry about me.”

You stood there for a moment, unsure of what to say. He was being so distant, and it left a strange, hollow ache in your chest. Finally, you gave him a small nod and walked back to your seat, feeling totally crushed by his uncharacteristic coolness.

Hyunjin’s silence stretched into the next day. And the day after that. In fact he hadn't spoken more than a couple of words to you in the past two days. And it hurt so much, considering the fact that you don't even know why he was doing this all of a sudden.

You tried to brush it off at first. Maybe he was just busy, or stressed. But the space he was putting between you felt deliberate, like he was doing this on purpose.

Hyunjin, on the other hand, was crumbling inside. He adored you. And that too for long enough that the thought of losing you was nearly unbearable.

You and Jisung were so close. And you looked so comfortable. He couldn't take it. He wasn't going to let his heart shatter like that.

So, he’d made a decision: if he couldn’t have you, he’d rather step back than risk the heartbreak of watching you fall for someone else. Even if it meant burying his feelings.

---

The next morning, you were back in the cold room. You’d been trying to salvage your protein extraction for hours, but nothing was going right. Your hands were trembling as you loaded yet another sample, and your vision blurred with tears of frustration.

“This is so stupid,” you whispered to yourself, your voice cracking. “Why can’t anything just go right for once?”

You sniffled, wiping your cheek with your sleeve, as you continued your monologue.

“I just want my Jinnie back. Why does he hate me now? What did I do wrong?” your voice wavered as you spoke through your tears.

What you didn't see was that the cold room door had opened quietly, and Hyunjin had stepped inside. He froze at the sound of your voice, his chest tightening at the sadness in your words.

Your Jinnie?

Your name slipped from his lips, soft and hesitant, “Y/N?”

You stiffened, your body freezing and your heart racing as you heard his voice.

“What?” you croaked, refusing to turn around, too mortified to meet his eyes.

“Why are you crying?” Hyunjin asked, taking a step closer.

You shook your head, refusing to face him.

“Why do you care?” You asked, and it broke his heart to see you wipe your tears.

“Please don't say that, of course I care-”

“It’s nothing. Just this stupid experiment. And... everything else.”

“Y/N,” he said again, his voice firmer now. “Please. Talk to me.”

You gripped the edge of the table, your knuckles turning white.

“I can’t do this anymore, Hyunjin,” you whispered. “I can’t keep pretending everything’s fine when it’s not. You won't even talk to me, and it’s killing me. I just... I just want my Hyunjinnie back. Just stop hurting me like this.”

The silence that followed was deafening. You felt the tears spill over again, your shoulders trembling as you waited for him to say something. Anything.

And then you felt it.

Warmth. His strong arms wrapping around you from behind, his chest pressing against your back as he pulled you into a tight embrace.

You gasped softly, frozen for a moment before leaning into him, your tears falling freely now.

“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin whispered, his voice trembling as he buried his face in your shoulder. “I’m so, so sorry.”

You turned your head slightly, just enough to catch a glimpse of his face.

“Why are you mad at me?” you asked. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” he said quickly, his hold on you tightening. “It wasn’t you. It was me. I was scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Of losing you,” he admitted, his voice barely audible. “I thought... I thought you and Jisung -”

“Jisung?” you repeated, blinking in confusion. “You know he’s my best friend, Hyunjin. He's like a brother to me.”

“I thought I was protecting myself,” he admitted, his lips close to your ear. “I thought I’d lose you to Jisung, and I couldn’t handle it. But I didn’t realize... I didn’t realize I was hurting you in the process.”

“I can't believe you never saw me thirsting over you, Hyunjin” you said, your voice incredulous. “What are you even saying?!”

Hyunjin let out a shaky laugh, burying his face into your neck. “God, I’m an idiot.”

“You are,” you sniffled, though your tone was softer now.

He pulled back just enough to turn you around, his hands gently cupping your cheeks.

“I love you, Y/N. I’ve loved you for so long. And I was so scared- ” he stopped short as he saw the look on your face.

“You... you love me?”

“I adore you,” he said, giving you a shy smile.

You let out a breathless laugh, the weight on your chest lifting for the first time in days.

“I love you too, Hyunjin. So damn much.”

His smile widened, and before you could say another word, he asked, “Can I... can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” you whispered, and when his lips met yours, it was the most beautiful thing in the world. He kissed you so softly (even though you just wanted to eat him up.)

You both stepped out of the cold room together, the door clicking shut behind you. Your cheeks were flushed, your lips swollen from the kiss, and as you glanced at Hyunjin, you saw he was in no better shape.

You didn't get to take another step forward as the door to your lab opened and Jisung's head popped in.

His eyes flicked between you and Hyunjin and you could hear the gears turning in his head as he tried to piece together what he was seeing. And then he smirked.

You glared at him, because you know that look on his face, and Hyunjin just stood there, his arms crossed and a smile that said “I got what I wanted".

“Congratulations,” Jisung said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m so happy for you both. But oh my god, you two idiots…”

The grin on his face was priceless. He was enjoying this way too much.

“I swear, if you don’t shut up -” You swatted him on the arm.

Jisung winced dramatically but couldn’t hide his laughter.

“What? You guys make an adorable couple... but honestly, you both are just so dumb.”

Well, you couldn't agree more.

Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght

[pharawee]

I usually don't do yearly recaps because my memory sucks December is one of the busiest months for me and I'm lucky if I get to gif at all but this year I thought I'd take a look at all of the gifsets I did in 2024 and see which shows, pairings and moments I liked the most.

✨FAV BLS OF 2024

1000 Years Old: 2024 was supposed to be the year of vampire BL (going by all the announcements and pilot trailers) but in the end only this one aired (edit: wait, I forgot about OMG! Vampire to protect myself 🥴) - and it was neither spicy nor particularly spooky. Instead, it was all heart and quirkiness and when it was over I cried for a week because of the bittersweet ending.

Playboyy: This show is truly a masterpiece, with layers of subtext and social commentary. Also, it's fun and camp and sexy and ridiculous. I'm so glad it's going to get a second season.

Caged Again: How come that a little show about a penguin and a panther is legit one of the best - if not THE BEST - Thai BL of the year?

Knock Knock, Boys: I came for Best and Seng and Pak but then Almond and Latte bewitched me body and soul. Kongthup now owns me.

Every You, Every Me: I don't know what I was expecting (well, okay, a whole lot of Mick & Top - which is exactly what I got) but it surely wasn't crying my eyes out for two episodes right in the middle of the show.

Spare Me Your Mercy: Long awaited and currently still airing - I actually love this show a lot because it reminds me of all the detective dramas (esp Endeavour and Grantchester) I used to binge. Morse but make it queer is actually all I ever wanted.

7 Days Before Valentine: This show's depth and artistry and stageplay-like character absolutely blew me away.

I Saw You in My Dream: WeTV absolutely blew it out of the water this year with their many diverse productions, and this unassuming and charming little show with a supernatural twist (love me one of those!) was no exception.

Monster Next Door: Big Thanakorn in his first main role with his first acting partner in an extremely fun and all around lovely Kongthup/WeTV production. And I just love how nuanced it was when they could have just stuck with the whole introvert/extrovert cliché.

✨FAV PAIRINGS OF 2024

Hope x Save (Jack & Joker): These two completely took me by surprise, especially because I had such an intense reaction to Pee Phiravich's character in La Pluie. I had originally set my eyes on PromMark and while I definitely ate up their crumbs, HopeSave just checked all of my boxes: morally grey antagonists (at least for a while there), doomed by the narrative (until they actually got their happy ending, yay!) and ride and die for each other.

Pete x Kenta (Pit Babe): I'll be a PeteKenta truther until the day I die (see all of the checkboxes above), and if Change2561 didn't subscribe to the branded pair model, they'd agree with me. As things are I'm actually kind of meh about Pit Babe 2. I bet KentaKim won't have knives at each other's throats!! (PeteWay is delicious though.)

Prom x Nont (Playboyy): Uhhh, that's a lot of the same checked boxes. So maybe I have a type. Thanks 2024 for making me realise. Also, I hope these two make each other worse in season 2 (before they get their HEA because ultimately I'm vanilla like that).

Latte x Almond (Knock Knock, Boys!): Oh God, these two. I was prepared to be ride or die for Thanwa and Peak but then LatteAlmond barged in with a pink sex toy and it was over for me. They just have so much heart and so much sincerity between them (and while their dynamics are different in Caged Again I'm really enjoying Nokia and Jaonine there too for pretty much the same reason + their incredible comedic timing).

X x Namping (Every Me, Every You): It's probably a good thing we got these two for two episodes only because we might not have survived a whole 8 or 10 or even 12 episodes of them. Plus, the anthology-like character of the series made a sad ending possible in the first place, and I really appreciate it - even if it almost destroyed me.

✨FAV MOMENTS OF 2024

Twins: For a moment there we had FrameRyan and it was beautiful.

The Sign: Chalothorn stole the whole show for me and then when he inexplicably vanished I kind of stopped watching. Whoops.

Deep Night: I have seen the throuple light thanks to SeijiPanKen.

The Rebound: Frank Thanatsaran's acting (but also that scene...) overshadowing pretty much everything else (and now he's with Star Hunter which... you know... ehnnnn 🥲)

To Be Continued: Fluke Pongsapat and Junior Khajbhunditt starring in a way underrated 8-episode netflix show with one of the most beautiful love scenes ever, and I've been wanting more of them ever since.

Two Worlds: Kongthup giveth and Kongthup taketh away (aka for one and a half episodes I had Phupha and Khram and now I will never know peace).

Century of Love: Offroad Kantapon as a sultry fox spirit.

Sunset x Vibes: When Star Hunter remembered Fong and JJ exist and then they stole the whole entire show (there really wasn't much to steal though...).

The Sign: Whatever was going on between Heng Asavarid and Nat Sakdatorn in this scene BUT I NEED MORE (pls Idolfactory I'm begging you release Heng from his solo actor prison).

Two Worlds: Kongthup choosing violence by giving Pak and Mon one of the spiciest love scenes of the year.

The Rebound: THESE TWO (boxes checked!! But also I need more Nammon in my life).

Kidnap: GMMTV's strategic placement of Papang in a suit.

The Hidden Moon: Whenever that tiny low-budget show got surprisingly deep and artsy (and also spicy).

My Stand-In: When I watched a whole show for one (1) character that wasn't really a character at all. Oh, the tragedy of it all (and yes, I'm still scared of Ming).

Pit Babe: When I made several posts about the Pit Babe novel but then I actually ended up loving the villains more than the main characters. I'm watching Pit Babe 2 for them and them only. Winner of my heart here I come!

Aaand that's it, my first ever yearly (Thai) BL recap - which actually ended up way longer than planned (guess my memory isn't as bad as I thought. Then again, I had my gifs to fall back on).

2024 was an amazingly diverse year for Thai QL (along with the wonderful news of marriage equality in Thailand finally becoming a reality) and looking back I now realise (not that I was ever seriously worried) that gmmtv's monopoly is actually way more of a blessing than a curse because not only did it cause WeTV to heavily invest in their own productions, it also leaves more than enough room for innovation and creativity via smaller and indie companies (along with the truly big players finally paying more attention - see: Spare Me Your Mercy). Innovation which in turn enriches gmmtv's portfolio as well (judging by their line-up for 2025 the years to come). In short: the Thai BL ecosystem is truly thriving.

And with that, may 2025 be even queerer than 2024 with tons of marriage proposals and actual marriages (PorschArm here we go!), and a favourite little (or in gmmtv's case not so little lmao) BL niche for everyone.

I hope you had as much fun with BL in 2024 as I had. I really appreciate everyone's commentary posts and meta and fanart and gifsets and tag games and reaction posts, even if I didn't spend as much time on my dashboard this year as I wanted to. I'm so glad tumblr BL fandom exists. ILU guys. Only the bestest and kindest things for you in 2025!🌈✨

[talesfromawannabewriter]

@beef-brisket @things-arent-what-they-seem66

They ate their breakfast in tranquil silence. It had been so long since he got to have this kind of moment with Lucifer. Adam wanted to soak it all in. Especially since he had something he wished to discuss with him. Once they were finished eating Adam beckoned Lucifer to the family room where he placed Avery into her play pen and faced the king. Adam: Lucifer I wish to discuss an important matter. It’s regarding my decision. Lucifer swallowed a lump in his throat.

Lucifer internally: Here it comes, whatever makes Adam truly happy I’ll support his choice.

Adam: …I want you Luci

Lucifer felt something awaken from within.

Adam: I want to remain married to you. To rule Hell by your side and support you. I also want our family to grow as well. Because during this time though I enjoyed the time alone to myself. It also gave me time to reflect. These past few weeks made me think about what I loved most about you and our history. Luci I don’t want to give it up. Lucifer felt tears of joy drip onto his cheeks he was about to embrace his husband when he put his hand forth to stop him.

Adam: I wasn’t finished, that being said Lucifer if we are to continue this relationship, changes must happen. First off, you need to get an assistant and create a proper schedule to help manage your duties as both king and father. Second I want to continue couples counseling. Only until we’re out of shallow waters. I feel like it is really helping us and getting us to go deeper into figuring out the problems in our relationship. Third I want to be supported in this relationship. I will always support the dreamer I fell in love with all I ask is for you to do the same. Final thing…I just want my husband back.

In consideration of all that Adam had gone through he began to cry. Matching his husband’s tearful face. Lucifer gently got close to Adam and brought him into his arms. Once he was sure Adam was okay with it he squeezed tightly. Fuck he missed this. The two just stayed like that for a while.

Lucifer and Adam simply wished to be in each other’s embrace after so long without their king/queen. Lucifer was given a miracle. A blessing in disguise that was this separation trial. He was showed that his actions were hurting the people closest to him and he was given this opportunity to fix it. He was certain that he would still stumble once in a while but he would never hurt his loved ones, especially Adam.

He now had a second chance with the true love of his life and he wasn’t going to take advantage of it.

The End ❤️

Separation Trial

@beef-brisket @things-arent-what-they-seem66

Adam tapped his fingers against the table in a distracted manner. He had been there at the restaurant for a while now. Waiting for his...waiting for Lucifer. He needed to talk with Lucifer, he wanted to talk to him at home about it, in private. However, when he asked about meeting him, Lucifer simply nodded his head and said they could meet at this restaurant.

He didn't even take Adam’s idea at eating at home into consideration. Although the place Adam sat currently was upscale and nice it wasn’t what he wanted to do. This wasn’t where he wanted to have…the conversation. He sighed to himself as he saw Lucifer approach. He barely even said hello before Lucifer kissed him on the cheek before seating himself.

Lucifer: Hello my dearest, what’s going on? Why’d you want to talk at a restaurant? You know we could have talked over the phone. You made it sound so urgent.

Adam took a moment to keep his anger in check. Once again Lucifer wasn’t listening.

Adam: What I wanted to talk to you about couldn’t be said over the phone. It had to be in person. Lucifer we have been married for three whole years now.

Lucifer: Yeah I know, last week was our anniversary. Don’t you remember Addie?

Adam felt his breath hitch and he struggled to not cry then and there. Their third anniversary had been a disaster, he didn’t want to go into it. But Adam had would forever hate that day. It was what made him bring this meeting with Lucifer.

Adam: I do remember, and so should you.

Lucifer: But I literally just said that I

Adam: No, I’m talking about what happened that day. Can you please tell me what happened?

Lucifer was nervous at his husband’s harsh tone but answered him.

Lucifer: Well, I do remember that both of us were so busy, I with handling a fortis problem, then Charlie called and she needed some help with the hotel, and I didn’t get back till late at night. Oh and you had that concert of yours, by the way how was it? I don’t think I asked before.

Adam felt his eye twitch.

Adam: It was not JUST a concert Lucifer.

Lucifer: …Did something happen at the concert?

Adam: More like what didn’t happen.

Lucifer: Did no one applaud you? Were they booing you? Honey don’t worry your a great singer, you’ll bounce back.

Adam: No, there were no applause nor cheers. Because my audience wasn’t there.

Lucifer: Oh, Adam I’m so sorry.

Adam: You weren’t there Lucifer.

Lucifer: What?

Adam: You were not at my concert Lucifer, You were supposed to be there. Because you were meant to be my audience. Because that concert was going to be dedicated to you! It was supposed to be my wedding anniversary present to you!

Lucifer: But, but, but it’s not my fault if you don’t tell me in advance!

Adam: Lucifer I told you weeks prior about it. And you always said that you’d be there. But of course you lied.

Lucifer: I didn’t lie! Shit came up Adam this isn’t my fault. If anything you should have told me before I left that day! On top of that what did you expect me to do? Not do my duty as king. Tell the goetia to handle it themselves!? Say no to my own daughter, your own daughter, I shouldn’t have helped her at all?! Geez you can be selfish sometimes.

Adam’s eyes widened at that statement. He was shocked to his seat still. Then slowly he nodded his head in understanding. He was an idiot for ever even considering giving Lucifer a second chance. Taking a deep breath, Adam looked directly into Lucifer’s yellow, red eyes and said,

Adam: Lucifer, I want a divorce

[whatispersonalspacejyp]

Comes animae 5 - Stockholm Syndrome

Genre: Mature, Smut

Pairing: Chan x reader

Warnings series: Stalking, Kidnapping, Non con, depression

Warnings chapter: mentions of suicidal throught, selfharm, calling Chan master, depression, long smut

Smut warnings: oral, force, shower, usage of slut

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I was in complete shock, but he was right. ‘I wasn’t strong enough to fight him and allowed him to do that…’ Chan sits up and puts his clothes back on, then proceeds to pull my underwear up and a shirt back on. I tried to catch my breath, rolling away from Chan and curled up. ‘It did turn me on, and I did enjoy it… But I shouldn’t, what he did is a crime. It’s all so wrong.’ I whimpered a little before putting my hands on my head, tears streaming down my face. “Just shut up, SHUT UP.” Chan was startled by my outburst and got up. “Well doll, I’ll leave you to yourself for a bit.” Chan didn’t know that I was a danger to myself when I felt low, I got up and looked around the room, but saw nothing useful. So I started scratching myself, hoping that the voices would stop and make me less stressed.  Even when I started to draw blood, it didn’t stop me. Maybe just maybe if I become obedient he wouldn’t do this again. Chan walks back into the bedroom to check on me and raises his eyebrow, “I see… I can put you in the most empty room of the cabin and still, you manage to hurt yourself.” I just smiled at him, before going into a hug. “Please don’t leave, I’ll be a good doll for master.” I whimpered, falling on my knees while holding onto his legs. Chan looks down suspiciously, quite at a loss for words. “Yesterday you wanted to kill me, with a poor attempt to be honest, and now you are begging me not to leave.” I keep my head down, holding him a bit tighter. “I’m sorry master, please just don’t leave. I don’t want to be alone with these voices in my head.” I said starting to cry. “I see how it is.” Chan sighs and lifts me up and walks back to the bedroom I was in before before putting me on the bed. Chan crawls onto the bed and sits against the headboard, observing what I am doing. I instantly curl up in Chan’s lap. “I’m sorry master, that I disobeyed you and that I’m broken beyond repair.” Chan hesitantly lays a hand on my head and plays with my hair. I crawl a bit up and lay my head on Chan’s chest. “I will try not to disobey you.” I closed my eyes and slowly fell asleep.  Chan still finds himself confused because of my sudden change, but lets it slide to spare himself a headache and then throws an arm around my shoulders to keep me close. Once Chan knew I was in a deep sleep he got up and checked everything and also locked the last few things before going back into the room to lie down with me.

Chan didn’t sleep all night, not that he even needed it, but he decided to keep a watchful eye on me throughout the night. I shifted and opened my eyes just a few seconds later after Chan shifted his position. ‘I have never felt such a comfortable pillow.’ I slowly took my head off of it and looked around, when I saw Chan there I quickly moved my head down again. I didn’t expect him to lay there, especially not being the comfortable pillow. I moved my head to a pillow and mumbled a sorry to Chan, while I was looking at the wall, feeling worse and worse with every second. Chan slightly smirks and snakes his hand around my hip. ‘It’s like they became obedient in a blink of an eye. I thought it would take me way longer to get them like that.’ I closed my eyes again and sighed. “May I take a shower?” I wanted to get rid of the awful dirty feeling I felt and I just needed a moment alone. Chan thinks to himself a bit and then nods. “Yes, I’ll show you the bathroom.” Chan crawls out of bed and stands straight, “Can you walk by yourself?” I nodded and slowly got up, following Chan to the bathroom. While walking to it I looked around the cabin, even admiring it a bit. Chan stops in his tracks and stands in front of the door, opening it, “It’s in here, help yourself.” I bowed a bit and moved into the room. “Uh, Chan? could you maybe bring me some clean clothes?” I said while I started to undress, I didn’t even care if he was there, he had already seen it all last night. Chan’s eyes glow almost a pinkish color when he sees me undress. “Of course, I’ll be back in a bit.” He turns around and searches for a clean set of clothes. I stepped into the shower and let out a soft moan when the warm water came in contact with my skin. Chan found some that he brought with him along with a clean pair of underwear and carried them to the bathroom. He casually opens the door and drops the clothes in front of the shower. he licks his lips, having an idea and he undresses himself.

I ignored Chan when he stepped into the shower and continued to wash my hair. Chan looks me up from head to toe a couple of times and steps behind me, slowly trailing his arms around my waist while breathing on my neck. I tried to ignore him, but I felt myself getting excited by his touch. I grabbed my body wash and started rubbing it on my skin. “I know what you are doing.” Chan hisses and runs his fangs over my neck. I closed my eyes and leaned into Chan when I felt his fangs on my neck. “Yeah cleaning myself.” I hastily say, not wanting to let him know that I felt hot and bothered. “Very funny.” Chan immediately pierces his fangs into my neck and starts sucking, moaning at the taste of my blood. I also started moaning at the feeling, it felt like a was putting me into a trance, a feeling of sex lust. So I pushed my ass against his cock while moving my hand down to play with myself. Chan moans, feeling himself getting hard already and he roams his hands under my arms to play with my chest while leaving hicks on both my neck and shoulders. I dropped down on the floor and took Chan in my mouth, leaving small licks before trying to get all of him in my mouth, hollowing my chees, and started sucking him off. Chan’s breath hitches from all the pleasure he’s getting and lets out a loud moan. “Such a good doll.”He reaches his hand to my head and grabs a fistful of hair, moving my head up and down, taking back the control.

I started gagging when he started to push down my throat. Chan started fucking down my throat without stopping making me slightly panicked as I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Chan’s grip became tighter and stopped while at the back of my throat and cums into it, before pulling out. Tears were streaming down my face as started to cough, spitting out some of his cum that didn’t go down my throat. Once I slightly composed myself I look up at him while still being on the floor. Chan was catching his breath while watching me with bedroom eyes. He then quickly pulls me up from the floor and pushes me to the shower wall, grabbing my face and kissing me roughly, establishing dominance. I kissed Chan back, moving my knee up to touch his cock, the one thing that felt like could break me out of the sexual trance he got me in. Chan felt himself getting hard again and lifts my legs up to wrap them around his waist, and with no warning, he slams his cock inside me while also pushing his tongue inside my mouth. I moaned against Chan's lips, while my eyes rolled back. “Chan!” I moaned out before grabbing him to hold myself closer to him, afraid I would slip. “Fuck yes, moan my name doll.” He breathes out and starts trusting at a rapid pace. “Please Master, use me like I’m your doll.” I cried out. “That’s what I like to hear,” Chan whispers in my ear. “I’m going to make you feel so good, you won’t even think of anybody else,” Chan mumbles as he starts playing with my chest again. “I’m going to fill you up so good.” He moans before he comes deep inside of me while trusting to ride out his high. I moaned at his cold cum, but felt like I wasn’t close yet, so I cried out for him not to stop. Chan pulls out anyway and puts me down on the ground before moving his head to my core. “My little slut, can’t get enough of your master.” He said before pushing his tongue inside of me. I moaned out and reached my hands towards his head, but Chan quickly grabbed my hands and shook his head. “No, no doll.” Chan looks back at my core and saw the cum leaking from it making him smirk. “You’re not going to finish yet, I still want some more fun.” Chan shuts off the shower and lifts me up only for me to get thrown on my stomach on the bed and within less than a second I could feel that I got chained up again. Chan smirks as I lay there bare and for him to see everything. It made him smirk, made him want to do even more to ruin me. So he walked closer to my bare ass and slaps it. “Let’s test your limits doll.” He gave me another slap and I squirmed, trying to get out of the restraints. “such a beauty.” Chan mumbles before lining his dick against my core again before pushing it back in, making me scream out his name. “Oh scream my name. that makes me even harder.” I cried out in pleasure. “Even when I fucked you earlier you are still so tight.” Chan got back to the fast pace he had earlier and started again with the hickeys around my shoulders and neck, liking it when it started to look like a painting he made, with reds and purples around the area. “Your my little cumslut aren’t you, you just want your master to fill you up.” I moaned out in agreement, feeling Chan hitting the right spot again made me want to cum, I felt Chan lean down and whispers in my ear. “Come on doll, come right on my cock.” I cried when I felt my high coming and came all of his cock while Chan shooks a second load of his cum in me. Chan then pulls out and groans at the sight of the cum dripping down. So he quickly moves to grab the Polaroid camera he had and snaps a picture. “That’s a sight I won’t get tired of.” Chan groans to himself before moving to the bathroom to get both the towels and the clothes. Then he cleaned,  untied, and dressed me, before doing the same to himself.

I smiled at Chan, I was exhausted by what just happened. I even had to admit, that it felt really good. Chan moved me to another place in the cabin and put me on the couch since the bedsheets were both wet and dirty. Chan quickly changed them and moved to sit on the couch next to me, pulling me into his arms. “You did so well for me baby,” Chan whispers in my ears as he leaves small kisses around the place. I cuddled up against Chan with a small smile plastered on my face. “How old are you?” Chan sighed. “I’m 157 years old, but in physical age, I would be around 22.” I nod at him and close my eyes. “How did you turn into one?” Chan smiled. “Curious one, aren’t you? I was actually born a vampire. My mother was a human slave for my father's family, but they fell in love and turned her into a vampire so they could have me and my siblings.” I nuzzle my head into his neck and close my eyes. “You feel so warm… I thought vampires were ice cold.” Chan’s neck hair stands up and licks his lips, feeling my face so close to his neck. “That a myth people would tell, just like crosses, garlic, and sunlight.”

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[starshiphelix]

I got back into converting again but this fking dress is literally giving me a mental breakdown.

I have been working on this bitch almost half a day long and first it had apparently way to many poly's, then I decimated them and now I have this! WHAT IS THIS?? I gonna cry. Send help.

[flamboyant-king]

Howdy, I'm still alive. Not many drawings lately, but a lot of ling fun time. I just wanted to share my crafts hehe

My niece had fun playing with the ling plushies, I taught her about the goolings, and she drew Wiwi a couple times. I made her a Wiwi plushie and I'm gonna make a Lewling and a Hoardling too since she really wants her own. Makes me happy. That's what they're made for to make folks happy.

But sewing is so tedious 😵‍💫

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

they call me the griever because halfway through a thing I enjoy I’m already sad that it’s closer to being over

[sophiethewitch1]

in my hater era

[ajxrn-archive]

i would be so powerful if I wasn’t full of anxiety. btw.

[victory-cookies]

I wish I could handle myself in an argument without fucking crying

[tortademaracuya]

Everyday is the same wake up look for jobs eat look for jobs talk with my friends who are also looking for jobs apply to a job get rejected look for a job get ghosted get ghosted a driend has shared a job they think I would like I share one for her back we get ghosted look for jobs we cry together

[mochiwrites]

good morning little people in my phone

[merevide]

it’s one of those nights.

[agenderarkham]

What if I exploded rn. I think it’d be good for me personally

[dinopant]

Iv been crying so much more recently int he past few month I feel like I'm going crazy, I keep freaking out and losing it and hating myself more and more

And now my eyes sting while I'm crying and that hurts and I don't know what to do I don't know