#I can’t help myself anymore | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tv1xx · 9 months ago

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ican’t help myself.

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the-real-couchrat · 4 days ago

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I finally have enough songs on this playlist to feel like I can post it so. Enjoy.

This fic (by @etheralisi ) has literally had me frothing at the mouth for MONTHS. It’s so beautifully written, and a really fun concept! Most living corpses are from being reanimated in some way, but the idea of the spirit never leaving is so interesting!

Anyway. Doodles

edit: THEYRE NOT APPEARING. I DONT KNOW WHY. But for SOME REASON my photos haven’t been syncing between my tablet and my phone. So that might have something to do with it

#transcendence au #my art #playlist #I guess we’ll see if this shows up in the tags #I’m posting this now bc I may or may not have something related being prepared #so keep ur eyes peels!#peeled #whatever #please let me know if you have any song suggestions #I can’t help myself anymore #every fic needs a playlist #!!!!#or at least my favorites do #wither into grave dirt #Spotify

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kkolg · 1 year ago

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I was possessed btw

#God what am I doing with my life I hate myself #murder drones #serial designation n #god help me #buff n #I guess #idk anymore god take me now #I gave him shorts btw some of y’all are weird-#Can’t be taking any chances with you ppl smfh

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9ofspades · 6 months ago

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It’s disability pride month, and if you are disabled in the U.S. from Long Covid I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re valid in whatever you feel. Whether that’s sorrow at your new problems or rage at society for failing you, you are valid, and it is truly messed up that society is continuing to fail you.

#disability #trauma #chronic illness #long COVID #COVID #Tbh I’m not sure if I have long covid or not but I keep swinging between despair and fury #The brain fog SUCKS #I might have always had it but it feels especially bad now?#And I have all kinds of respiratory problems that got exacerbated #And possibly chronic fatigue but it’s unclear #And I’m one of the lucky ones!!!#I can still exercise without needing three days of bed rest after!#I was so RELIEVED when it turned out I could do that #I did like. Three weeks of breathing rehab to make sure #Not sure if it helped but now I’m not getting post-exertional backlash nearly as much anymore #And I didn’t lose my sense of smell or get my taste messed up #And I don’t need a respirator just an inhaler and some allergy meds and to take frequent breaks #And like. I know so many people have it worse #And that suuuuucks #But EVEN THIS makes me want to scream and rail half the time #Update as of Sept 2024 — this is no longer true #Got Covid again and now I can’t exercise without being too tired to move for three days #🙃#Probably will die mad about this actually #I had SUCH a good time working out one night #But then the next morning #Nope #head-to-toe muscle pain #couldn’t do any chores #Couldn’t even feed myself

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hplonesomeart · 2 months ago

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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye

#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff #hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this #seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things #like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork #but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating #my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts #like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular #maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well #I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now #I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others #anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period #one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK #Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT #proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy #PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD #all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL #okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3 #doodles #sketches #hplonesome art #not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me

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cipherr · 9 months ago

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#swtor #sith warrior #eralei audroti #gonna ramble in the tags real quick hope u don’t mind #six years ago today i created one of my most beloved characters of my whole entire life #and i may not really Go Here(TM) anymore but i still love her just the same #i can’t even really put into words how much she means to me #without getting too much into it…as corny as it sounds she really did help me realize so much about myself #im no stranger to putting myself in a character... i have been doing this since i was a child #but there are such sacred precious pieces of me in eralei #pieces i never even realized i planted #and i will forever be thankful for this beautiful little creation of mine #she inspired me so much #led me to deepen some friendships even #even though i don’t play swtor anymore she will always have a special place in my heart #i will seriously cherish her until the day i die #she may just be a fictional character in a video game born from my imagination #but to me she is so so so much more than that #happy birthday eralei #i love u

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girlyteengirl16 · 2 months ago

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when i remember the way things went and my stomach starts twisting

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intosnarkness · 9 months ago

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What part of anxiety disorder life is “panic attack at the dispensary” asking for a me

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lialox · 1 month ago

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In the process of 1.5 hours, so much drama was revealed to me that I’m cancelling my next trip back to my hometown next year.

#Sigh……..#I cut off more than half of the people I knew here and it’s still this messed up??#I need to lie down #But I literally can’t until another full 23 hours from now #Why did I do this to myself #Liveblog count (Lia’s Holiday Trip Home Sunday Edition):#Friendships ended: 1 #Friendships repaired: 1 - these guys were salty at each other since June jfc #Flights cancelled: 2 #Hours of sleep: 5 #Update 2 ->#Therapy sessions given: 1 #Therapy sessions received: 1 #Update 3 ->#This one was actually pretty relaxing #Hours spent yapping: 9 #Update 4 ->#No energy to get into it. But I feel like I needed to go to a self help session or something after that #Update 5 (pure venting) ->#These people want to be involved in my life more so badly but they are only willing to do it on their terms and not mine #You don’t get to have that for free anymore!!#“There was no time to talk” BULLSHIT. There was plenty of time! I even brought up the topic first during lunch!!#To keep acting like this doesn’t exist and only want to talk about it when I’m exhausted and trying to sleep #You picked a time where you know I don’t have the energy to fight back because you’re too scared you’ll say the wrong thing #And I’ll cut you out of my life again

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graythursday · 1 year ago

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season 10 daryl >>>

#daryl brainrot has been so bad to me lately i can’t even sit down to watch the show bc i need to be there so bad like yall don’t get it #really been trying to keep this to myself but i can’t help it anymore #i deserve to be in that show man put me in that universe that’s my FAMILYYYYYY #save me long haired fictional man SAVE MEEEEEE #daryl dixon #twd #mine

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gojoest · 8 months ago

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do you ever think about the last night you spend together with satoru holding you in his arms before he goes off to fight sukuna and then never comes back

#— ai rambles #:’’’’’’’)#sometimes i can’t help it but hurt myself a little bit thinking about this #and you just don’t know what to do in that house anymore. wherever you look he’s there #you can still smell his scent around the house in your bed on your clothes and everywhere literally but when you look around you don’t see #him…you don’t dare touch the things he’s laid his hands on last #his shirt is hanging on the chair he tossed it there in the morning and his mug is still sitting on the table even weeks later #you haven’t changed the bedsheets to savor his scent until it’s gone completely #why do i do this to myself #:’)

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weezerlvr228 · 24 days ago

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hi fam !!

#weezer #rivers cuomo #brian bell #patrick wilson #mikey welsh #ahhh omg :( i just fumbled so bad socially #and i just need to like. never speak again i feel.#and i’m trying to comfort myself because like. my friend started talking badly about me #and said i only use her to vent which makes me sad because i didn’t think that was true and i try to do sm for her #i made physics study guides for her ; compliment her when she posts ; and post her on my story a lot and always wave to her and talk to her #and i dunno. it makes me sad to think that but i can’t help it; you know? i just need to be alone sometimes and not speak to anyone #and it isn’t like i don’t wanna be her friend ; of course i do but like. it just hurts my heart she doesn’t wanna be my friend anymore #and it hurts my heart so bad and i dunno what im meant to do. and yesterday i had a party #and i said a bad joke in front of the wrong people and i just. accidentally embarrassed one of my good friends and i feel so bad #and everyone js went quiet and it’s just. i feel awful and need to be like. beheaded.#and i try to comfort myself like oh it’s okay. today is a new day. but today i feel even worse about it and there’s nothing i can do #to fix this; like on one hand THERES NOTHING I CAN DO TO FIX MY BLUNDER!!! but on the other hand; there’s nothing i can do and i have left #my imprint in their minds and it’s so bad. i wish i was like. dead or something; yk? like not even weezer can make me feel better and it #sucks so badly . i wish i could just not think anymore and ignore everything in my life. i just hate myself so badly right now ; and i can’t #even be sure that i’m gonna be better cuz i just lack so much social awareness. i wish #i was more socially aware . i just hate when i get too comfortable. i wish i awkwardly sat in the corner and #didn’t speak to anybody the entire night to spare myself from any awkwardness. i hate parties!! i shouldn’t have gone :(#SORRY FOR THR BENT POST I JS NEEDED TO TELL SOMEONE AND LIKE. GET KT OHT YK?#it’s just so. ahhh i hate everything sm rn :( but liek me and the friend joke like that all the time and idk. im just. :( i feel terrible #and i’ve apologized and he said it was okay but embarrassing cuz some ppl looked at him for his reaction #and i dunno. i just feel awful and need to just. focus solely on academics until my brain is fried and i can’t function or something !

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kitten4sannie · 3 months ago

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look at the way i ride ~

#lyss.vent #been feeling very much on the edge lately #of what? i’m not really sure #a classic Meltdown ™ maybe #i have a therapist i talk to weekly now and that’s been a huge help fs #but it’s still like #my boat has a hole #too many to count actually #i’m constantly dumping out the water but it doesn’t matter yk?#i’m still sinking #there are so many things i should be thankful for #friends and family that care about me #i have hobbies that i enjoy #a good consistent job that pays well #i’m working 40 hrs a week and making enough to save monthly #this is what it means to be successful right ?#i should be happy…i have everything i need…#yet i feel rundown and empty #i’ve also realized that there are horrible ugly things that still live deep inside my bones #why do i blame myself for them when i was just there? when i was the victim?#i’m the only one who can save myself from it all so why can’t i?#what’s even worse is that i have to watch from the sidelines while life single-handedly fucks up my loved ones too #i’m so powerless in all aspects of my life #everything’s out of my control #and it hurts so much :(((#tbh old me would’ve given up by now but that dumb bitch isn’t in the driver’s seat anymore #she’s just along for the ride now but she won’t give me the aux #tho new me is stubborn and has something to prove so i’ll keep driving :3 vroom vroommm #i’ll play my own music soon #i love queue ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

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frogmoisturethief · 2 months ago

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ughhhhhhhhh I’m gonna fail my lab practical tomorrow

#college #complaining yeah #how does one. have motivation to do schoolwork #I feel like I had everything so together in high school #straight A student/semi-popular at my theater/got to sit with a few friends at lunch and study hall and in class #and I was drawing! and helping in other ways! and everything!#everything.#too much “everything” can add up after 4 years or so.#4 years of doing my absolute best and getting rewarded for it #things are different. things have changed.#aged out of theater. don’t see anyone from school anymore.#and I know it’s my fault #I know I need to reach out more #I have reached out #something’s happening #I feel like I’m ruining my own life #I’m ruining everything.#all because I can’t bring myself to care anymore.#I just can’t.#sorry I.#didn’t mean for this to turn into a vent post.#idk if anyone’s even going to read this.#thanks I guess. um. /gen haha #…#yeah… yeah.

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mochiwrites · 8 months ago

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being so honest I don’t understand how people can expect you to be doing things constantly every single day. I’m supposed to be on summer break but my university expects me to send in 80 sources for my senior thesis by next week

the very thought of doing school work right now makes me want to cry. I can’t even open a blank document and start writing for my own fics. I can’t even engage in my own hobby right now because I’m so mentally exhausted. how can you expect me to do thesis work? I’ve hardly had a break since finals

my personal life has been an ongoing shitshow since last summer. and has only gotten worse in recent months. how can you expect someone to function in society when you throw one thing after another at them?

I’m so tired and done. but I have no choice other than pushing through it because that’s what’s expected of me! that’s exhausting

#delete later #sorry I’m really frustrated rn #and screaming into the void is a better solution than keeping it bottled up #I really want to disappear rn #I’m not finding enjoyment from the things I love any more #I physically can’t bring myself to write #I’ve been stuck in this survival state since winter #everything feels so bad and overwhelming #I think I need a break or something #I don’t know #I don’t know what’ll help anymore #I don’t know what’ll make me feel better #I just want to cry #all the time #I miss writing. I miss being proud of what I wrote #I miss when I would be able to post something and I was happy with it #when I didn’t feel like I had to rewrite it over and over #I miss feeling like myself #lately I’ve just… felt like a stranger in my own body #going through the motions of life #and y’know what fuck I miss feeling like I was cared for #and loved #but I’m Me so yknow. I don’t get that #maybe I should take a nap

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camgoloud · 9 months ago

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you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups #and the later regrets of the parties involved #anyway. tell me not to text her #it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength #she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life #and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever #going to get back #and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔#the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that #really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you #felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way #instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’#and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out #so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃#i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least #we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she #like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have #said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc.#it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me #and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person…#caseyposting

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