#I am really fucked up now
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
How can I have started a book, read the blurb on the back, the title and 30 pages, but only when I’m tracking my progress on the StoryGraph and only finding an English version of the book when searching by isbn I realise that the book is in fact in English and not in Dutch as I’d been convinced?!?!
#I also doubted for a second whether I read little thieves last week in English or Dutch#but it was English because I was thinking about how I did not vibe with how the English handled the German like words#I think this is the second time this happened to me with a book but damn#I am really fucked up now#this confuses me so much#I’m blaming the library’s Nieuw sticker#oh and the blurb the library put on the inside is also in Dutch#so it didn’t even click when I first read the English blurb on the back and then the Dutch blurb inside#I am not observant#my thought process was: huh weird the title in the app is english#checks the title on my book: is in English#me: huh weird but then sometimes they don’t translate titles#*checks the blurb* *is also in English*#*frantically checks the inside* *is also in English*#me: …#just like I kinda often read bits of text where I could not tell you the language right?#like I Google something and I go to Wikipedia and sometimes that’s Dutch Wikipedia and sometimes it’s English#and I don’t really notice or care#but now I was CONVINCED I was reading in Dutch#and that’s what’s getting me here#if you ask me what language this Wikipedia page was I would just not know#but if you’d asked me what language my book was I’d have said Dutch with full conviction#but it’s not????#i made an original post#part time booklr#books#reading#part time langblr
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
[SCENE: driving back from my appointment]
dad: ...am I going to have to teach you how to shave?
me: uh yeah! at some point, lol
dad: hm. well I can show you the way I prefer, with mug soap and a brush, because the aerosol cans are just no. I showed your brother my way and he likes it a lot better too...
dad: [rambles for a bit]
dad: ...it's really just another chore, you look in the mirror and go 'ugh I have to shave soon' so it's just one of those things you do every once in a while
me, externally: haha yeah, I can't wait :]
me, internally: he's talking about this like it's no big deal, it's not weird at all,,, he doesn't mind the idea of teaching me despite the fact that he never expected to be doing this with me,,,, he's my dad and he supports me even if he doesn't completely get it,,,


#i legit got this close 👌🏻 to tearing up in the car#anyway i am really going to take that nap now so g'bye#ftm radio#<3#transgender#trans#ftm#trans guy#nonbinary trans guy#trans masc#trans man#trans masculine#nonbinary man#nonbinary guy#ftm positivity#trans positivity#holy fuck this one's really goin round again huh#6k 😵💫#7k?!?!?!?!?#8k#9k#good lord#10k#11k#12k#13k#16k
18K notes
·
View notes
Text
I want to scream and cry (istg who tf am i lying to, i am already crying)
To every non-ukrainian that reads my tumblr — if Ukraine is going to be given to russia, I will die. For being openly pro-Ukrainian or openly queer — one of those two, definitely. It is, like, a fact. And the possibility of that is way higher then the possibility of me dying right now from a missile or a drone (even though there's an air raid right now, yeah). Fucking crazy, but that's the reality.
Don't want to be spreading defeatism, but the things that happened in the White House today very clearly show that the US is siding with russia.
I believe in our military. They are doing absolutely unbelievable things. They are probably the only reason why I haven't given up on my life yet.
But oh my fucking god, it is so obvious that the US is trying to sell us to russia. Honestly, it is fucking unbelievable. After threatening to sanction the hell out of us in the 90s in order to make us give up our nukes and destroy missiles and military aircrafts, they failed to react when russia broke the Budapest memorandum and attacked us in 2014. They did fucking nothing. And now they are actively betraying Ukraine (sorry, I can't call it otherwise). I hate trump and every person that voted for him. I wish them to spend the next 11 years like ukrainians — actively suffering and with everyone telling them to shut up and die already.
I genuinely don't know what else to say. Support Ukraine, please. If you are not from the US — look up the info about pro-Ukraine rallies in your country. We need the support of other countries. At this point I am literally begging everyone who can read this — push your government to help us. It is crucial right now.
If you are from the US — honestly, i don't know what to tell you. Either hire a hitman who can do their job or riot and overthrow him. Yeah.
Ah, also, yeah, never fucking ever give up your nukes 🙂
#ukraine#ukraine russia war#war#at this point i have come back to my january 22 state when i was considering killing myself if the full-scaled war starts#rn my mental health has come to the point when every damn thing that comes out of trump's mouth makes me consider jumping out of the window#yeah i am really close to ending it all right now i am not joking#but yeah i believe in armed forces of ukraine#im tired angry and scared#honestly what the fuck i should be worried about finishing school rn not about how i will die if usa sells us to russia#this is so fucked up
964 notes
·
View notes
Text
taking all my american followers by the shoulders. listen to me. just because you have a more promising candidate now doesn't mean you just assume it's going to be fine and don't bother voting. assuming trump wasn't going to win is how you got here in the first place so you go out and fucking vote for harris and give everyone a fighting chance.
also if you're still in the 'they're both as bad as eachother' delirium, please take your head out from between your cheeks and consider that your options are an imperfect president and the literal worst person alive who is going to get masses of people killed. i've said it like this before, but it's like deciding between maybe getting food poisoning or definitely having a brain aneurysm. take your pick i guess but don't be surprised when you drop dead.
#ramble#sorry to keep posting about this but i am so worried about this fucking election#which is crazy bc it's not even my country#idk there's just lots of people i don't want to be horribly killed or tortured#i was really afraid when it was biden but you have a BIT of hope now#the 'burn it down and start again' revolution isn't coming you have to use your brains please#not to be dramatic but if you think harris and trump are the same you might be the actual dumbest person walking on earth#when we look back on stuff in history and say 'i would've spoken up. how did nobody stop this?'#this is how you stop it.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
when helena says “irving” in that smug chastising way that you speak to a misbehaving child god I would have waterboarded her ass too
#Britt lower your acting choices are so delicious im slurping them up with a spoon#her EYES she really looked at him like. come now irving#just behave. I AM A PERSON YOU ARE NOT BEHAVIOR#severance#severance spoilers#I need someone else to talk to me about her choices holy fuck and IRVING. JOHN I WANT TO STUDY YOUR BRAIN
905 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’ve never talked about 911 on here but i have to say this. why the fuck did they do that? and why are the cast all acting like that. what’s going on.
#there’s like a million dead serious interviews but also the cast is trolling on sm#i am deeply confused#and i don’t really find it funny anymore ffkfjfj#they fucked up soooo bad like everyone in the fandom is crashing the fuck out#you’d think i’d be used to tv shows shooting themselves in the foot by now
365 notes
·
View notes
Text
rhinestone eyes
#look at my gif boy#still dumbfounded at how many notes my june doodle is (still) getting#i understand that june stocks are through the roof rn but still over 450 notes is. a lot. 0_0#like most notes i've received for any of my posts ever on this website (holy moly)#but enough about her.#(slowly skulks on to the stage as lights dim. a spotlight shines on me.)#(i hunch over silently. hesitating for a few seconds. then i tap the mic to test it.)#(everything is working just fine. test done.)#(i take a deep inhale. ready to say all of my peace on the matter.)#“yuri.”#(IT'S A STANDING OVATION. IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE.)#(AND SHIT. WE ARE IN FACT SANTA HINSELF.)#can't believe the vrisrezi sauce completely flew over my head in my first reading of homestuck#basic media literacy in the pits#mostly cuz i was impatiently skimming over most of the later acts because god help me#now that i'm well into act 6 of my reread (which i am taking NOTES ON AND EVERYTHING) i am now atoning for my sins#on my knees and repenting yo#purgatory and all#this art is a public apology to vrisreziheads everywhere#i'm so so sorry that i was a fucking IDIOT#hope u like da gif tho :3#i'm really proud of it myself#thank god for doomed yuri (sobbing in my little timeout corner)#but i'll shut up now (smile! :D)#homestuck#homestuck fanart#vriska serket#terezi pyrope#vrisrezi#my art
259 notes
·
View notes
Text
you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
990 notes
·
View notes
Text
you ever think about how the horrific thing dorian almost had done to him... is exactly the thing iron bull went to the reeducators to beg them to do to him. yeah. me either. for ten years straight now. what the fuck. wanna be my narrative foil dude. we could fuck about it if you're game and single
#what if I am your mirror image and what I see in you changes with what I see in myself but we're always reflections. messed up honestly#I really want to write out the proper coherent version of this one day b/c it drives me nuts but for now. truly what the fuck dude#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#dorian pavus#iron bull#adoribull#'I wanted them to *fix* me. like they'd fixed them' god. bull.#the horror and desperation of 'you tried to -- *change* me' vs. the horror and desperation of 'I wanted them to *fix* me'#bull's greatest fear is madness. I feel sick.
694 notes
·
View notes
Text

From "Unadulterated Loathing" in which Charlie chains these two idiots accidentally together by @otsmosis (who made this comment at the end of the last chapter and inspired me to do whatever this is above)
#i was forced to colour this and its always painful and out of my comfort zone hallelujah#let me just tag this real quick i have a lot to say#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#radioapple#appleradio#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x lucifer#okay we are back#FIRST things first#oh shit i forgot#my art#i watched silence of the lambs for the first time#and i think that hannibal lecter is just normal smart#but everyone else is really really fucking stupid#OH THE FIC I FORGOT TO SAY#i needed something uplifting and im so happy that i found it#if any of you is in need of some cheering up please give it a read#i am EXCITED for the next chapter#i just love it when charlie screams in someones face#AND THAT “ALASTOR HEAVED OUT A DISGUSTED SOUND” is absolutely me and my best friend every five minutes if we dont like something#i now use a screenshot of that sentence to express my discomfort in our chat#wow im so shit at giving compliments and i am stuck in an endless loop of “wow i loved it so much it was great”#BUT I REALLY LOVED IT
459 notes
·
View notes
Text
SEVERANCE 2x10 | "They give us half a life and think we won't fight for it."
#severance#severance spoilers#severanceedit#myedits#as someone who is still pretty new to gif making i would like to whinge about the red light#it looks fabulous in the show - it is a nightmare to try and edit#that last one nearly fucking broke me i do not know how to noise-reduce any further than i have without making it look shit#because the red reflects off her face and then is actually ON her face and then asdalsdnlasknlaksasdkjk#i've seen gifs that have done it way better than this - someone teach me how to do that plz?#also i've never tried black and white and i'm not sure how i feel about it i 👏 have 👏 no 👏 idea 👏 what 👏 i 👏 am 👏 doing 👏👏#i don't think black and white really works with the flickering fireplace light tbh#but this is where we're at i guess and i'm not changing it now i need to go to bed#but also hi hello i need to yell about this show with somebody#i have no severance fans in my life and it is a PROBLEM because i need to make a lot of noise about it#i'm having a GA next week and i'm pretty concerned that i'm in so deep thinking about this fucking show that i'm going to wake up#and just instantly start talking fucking gibberish about innies and outies and ortbos and goats#apparently i woke up from a GA once and just started reciting a cookie recipe and refused to shut up#anyhow#someone come be my severance buddy because i need to discuss but fyi: i am firmly team#innie-mark/helly (but also outie-mark/helena because it's spicyyyy) and i love gemma but i'm ... okay? ... with how the season ended?#don't @ me - i contain multitudes#and for better or worse i will unapologetically chose helly in every universe#and in closing can i just say what a win this season has been for the hand-porn enthusiasts we are winning my friends#also cobel's hair looks like a bad wig for some reason okay goodnight everybody enjoy the internet
207 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Whumpee who has spent their entire life under the control of another, without any autonomy or independence.
One day, after their rescue, they finally realize that they now *do* have autonomy, and that the others in their life respect that. They have independence, they can do whatever the fuck they want, they don't need permission anymore.
And that feels... weird. Surreal. Freeing. Confusing.
They're just holding this revelation in their hands like "What is this? What do I do with it?"
#potential soup#whumpblr#whump prompt#whump idea#hurt/comfort#whumpee#dude. I have a great parent. fully recognizing and respecting my autonomy. and that made me fully realize that like-- yeah. I am an adult.#I really can do whatever the fuck I want. that's cool. but also it feels incredibly weird. I've been yearning for this for so long.#and now that it's fully understood that I have this power- I don't know what the fuck to do with it. lmfao I could do whatever the fuck I#want right now. but what am I gonna do instead? absolutely nothing new.#i yearn to do something new though. like-- something adventurous. bike out to the middle of fucking nowhere and stay at a random ass motel#go to a little town I've been wanting to explore and bring back some dutch letters. go to a bridge in the middle of nowhere in the middle of#the fucking night and just stare up at the stars and cry tears of pure joy as I stare up in wonder and awe at something that I feel like I#was never meant to comprehend yet to people 200 years ago that sight would just be an average tuesday.#God. that reality is so much closer than I ever could've imagined and that's so fucking weird. that's so surreal. what the fuck.#also boooo light pollution I wanna see the universe every night so fucking badly. grrrrrrrr
186 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
3K notes
·
View notes
Text


collection of some loz origin au stuff i've been chipping away at for awhile now ^_^ with a healthy amount of dunmeshi insp for good measure LOL (the ooccoo isnt relevant she's just here for size comparison purposes)
feat my beloved good friend @linkvcr's hylia design also. because i am obsessed with her and you should be too 🫵
#sitting here hoping and praying these images dont get crunched too badly <- guy who knows its in vain#WELL WHATEVER. i had fun. kinda. enjoy bcus i am still playing ffxiv and will be for the foreseeable future#loz#hylia#link#tloz#loz au#loz fanart#skyward sword#zelda#sksw#hylink#yeah it gets that tag too. sorry. but his name isnt/wasnt link either he's just the og dude#'well what is his name then' whell..... idk <3#we really have just been calling this dude the first hero or her hero for a few weeks now. hope you enjoy whatever vision is going on here#bcus i dooooo ^_^#speaking of which he definitely came out really messy but. gotta start somewhere i think. loved drawing weird and fucked up hylia though#OKAY NO MORE RAMBLING. see you later#my art
608 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think if you're in a relationship that's anything less than ROCK FUCKING SOLID you should consider not messing with too many of your partners interests. You'll think ohh nooo I'm being a good partner engaging in the stuff they loveee we can bond over ittttt No. you don't want all your hobbies and shows and books covered in their stank.
#i have a huge fucking library of stuff that is tainted with BAGGAGE NOW#because we read it together. or watched it together. or they recommended it#or i talked about it with them a lot. bitch. i should have left some of that FOR me#do you want the fucking list because it's a long list and it's a bunch of shit that's unavoidable#and a lot of other stuff that i still really like but AGAIN. TAINTED. COVERED IN TOXINS.#i should have kept my interests separate bro i should be my own person. read your lil books listen to your own music#I'll be over here with my own shit#THAT'S what i should have said but since we've been best friends since we were both 16 i didn't think i had to worry#and i am absolutely getting drunk tonight dude i don't care about my body#sergle.txt#everything is fucked up and it's my fault because I'm the one who wanted to show that I'm putting in the effort#girl FUCK you. fuck my effort. make them osmosis YOUR hobbies and interests. i don't give a shit
210 notes
·
View notes
Text
spent the last couple nights watching the handplates (<- @zarla-s if you’ve never read it) comic dub with a friend of mine :-]
gaster ^
#EDIT: I JUST REALIZED I FUCKED UP WHICH EYE . IN THE THIRD PICTURE I AM FUCKING SO STUPID AUGHHH#that specific picture is an au where his left eye was fucked up instead ok? no one point out my mistake#i am clearly struggling enough here as-is#or we can say they accidentally triggered that fucked-up magic loop like as babies somehow before they were really aware of it.#and gaster somehow let this happen. i don't KNOW i'm embarrassed. i drew these at 5 am so everyone gotta be nice to me#undertale#sans#papyrus#gaster#handplates au#sketches#it is CRAAZYYY to me that the comic is like officially over. last time i watched Handplates Comic Dub was like.... 2018#and the comic officially ended in 2023 right? and it's now 2024 going on 2025#that is INSAAANNNEEE#every time gaster opened his damn mouth me and my friend were both like IS HE STUPID? for like. the entire duration of the dub#objectively untrue but also like. i mean. a little#i couldn’t really do the I AM 13 YEARS OLD comic because�� he is like. two-ish maybe. and also an adult kind of#so i did what i could. LMAO
204 notes
·
View notes