#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb

[tanadrin]

I would love to hear the rant about social media doomerism and conspiracy

I’m on my phone right now but the summary version is something like:

Humans are bad at integrating information into their worldview accurately bc of various cognitive biases

Social media incentivizes us seeking out content that excites fear or anger or irritation

Social media thus causes us to form negative impressions of the world bc it mediates so much information consumption and discourse these days

This general negative affective impression is subject to high confirmation bias and ppl in general are really bad at divorcing an affective impression of a thing from their dispassionate reasoning abt a thing

(Bc one of the functions of an affective impression is to “cache” our conclusions about a topic to save time and effort later)

(In general if you are a cynic and pessimist you can fall prey to these biases w/o social media but I think social media makes more ppl susceptible to them)

People don’t want to be dupes so they seek refuge in cynicism. We treat cynicism as wise or worldly when in fact cynicism makes you a dupe and an easy mark for grifters. Cynicism and low trust foster conspiracism, paranoia, and antisocial politics

(This is why so many congenitally contrarian folks seem to flit effortlessly between the far left and far right; it’s not horseshoe theory, they’ve just cooked their brains on this stuff)

This is a world where populist anti-social politicians like Trump and the AfD thrive, bc they will lie about how everything is terrible and people will nod along, bc it explains why their social media is full of awful stories of, like, immigrants eating pets and shit

But it doesn’t just have to be insane lies only a moron could believe. It can be any impression about a fact in the world that it is difficult to personally check and which is vulnerable to being swayed by anecdote

This is how we get a word where people think crime rates are higher than they’ve ever been when in fact crime is falling

Or child predators lurk around every corner when in fact children are safer than ever

Or the American economy is in a recession when in fact it’s doing historically well by just about every available metric (now with full employment AND low inflation!)

Because in a big world even where things are in general good and getting better you can always produce infinite individual examples of shitty things and pipe those in a steady stream into people’s eyeballs, and then point to that and leverage people’s low trust attitudes and their cynicism which tells them they are smarter than the experts and go “statistics is just a fancy way to lie! The world is secretly terrible! Every bad thing is even worse than you thought and every good thing is a lie!”

(Nevermind the whole phenomenon where anything that is complicated or that someone does not themselves understand gets treated like it’s actually secret and a conspiracy.)

And here I know I have to include some disclaimer about how this is not to discount individual cases of suffering or struggle, which are real, or that there are indeed some really awful things happening in the world right now, which there are, but you know what?

I’m tired of doing that. People with reading comprehension operating in good faith ought to be able to deduce that general statements do not obviate particular exceptions, and people who cling to their doomerism as a kind of emotional life raft do not generally argue with me in good faith.

Sometimes doomerism is a load-bearing pillar of their politics, which I think is dumb—I think you can be a leftist or a progressive without being a doomer! In fact I think doomerism is antithetical to useful politics!

Sometimes they are just depressed and treatment-resistant. Sometimes they are just angry misanthropes who want to feel justified in their misanthropy. Some doomers are themselves in bad circumstances and feeling hopeless about that—to them I am enormously sympathetic. Though a lot of doomers will admit they personally are doing OK—this does not seem to be most doomers.

But I think in general cynicism and doomerism and a worldview dominated by a general nebulous air of Everything Is Awful and by abstract nouns with threatening auras is not conducive to wisdom or understanding or useful politics or leading a happy and fulfilling life.

[the-clumsywitchtarot]

How to Survive the Holidays Pick-a-Card Reading

Because the holidays aren't always magical.

Cards

The Empress (Reversed)

Page of Swords

10 of Pentacles (Reversed)

I feel like this pile doesn't really want to go back home for the holidays but I feel like you would feel guilty if you didn't. For some of you who chose this pile your family financially supports you and if you didn't return home for the holidays they would withhold that financial support. I feel like going back home to your family is just dreadful for you in general and I feel like the main reason that you don't like going back home is actually your mother or stepmother. With the empress in reverse I feel like this woman is the exact opposite of what you would expect a mom or a mother figure to be like. And you really don't feel like dealing with that! But with the Page of Swords here I'm getting that maybe changing your mindset will be of some help. Instead of thinking "oh goodness, I know that this is going to be a horrible time for me", think of any positives that come out of these holiday visits. Do you get gifts? Do you get to eat good food? Is there one family member or friend that you really enjoy that you only get to see around holiday times that you'll be excited to see? A mindset shift can really help you to survive the holidays this year.

Best of luck to you and I hope this reading gave you some help!

Cards

Judgement

Ace of Pentacles

5 of Swords (Reversed)

For this pile I feel like you and your family share opposing views, especially religiously. You may come from a family of devout Christians and they may not be able to understand the spiritual path that you're on and for most I don't feel like they are interested in understanding it. To survive the holidays you might want to consider some serious grounding before you leave to go visit your family! I feel like dealing with your family can sometimes be a dystopian experience that leaves you feeling completely frazzled. With the five of Swords in reverse you may want to avoid getting into any conversations that you know will spark a debate that could end in a falling out with your family. I feel like the two topics that would cause this issue are religion and politics. So in addition to not sharing the same religious/spiritual beliefs as your family I feel like you also do not share the same political beliefs as your family, at all! Ground yourself and avoid any conversations that you know would be triggers for your family members and I feel like you may be able to survive the holidays (semi) happily.

Cards

The Fool (Reversed)

Page of Cups (Reversed)

Queen of Wands

I feel like this pile isn't exclusive to those going to visit their families for the holidays, I can see you being the type of person that everyone relies on when it comes to making the holidays flow. For instance if someone ran out of an ingredient while they were making Christmas dinner you'll be the one that they asked to run out and get it. Or if you are having a holiday celebration with your friends everyone else may bring one dish and you may be asked to bring two or to pick up something extra for another friend on your way there. Or you could get someone a really great gift and they get you crap that no thought was put into. And I feel like you may be coming to the point where you're sick of this. To survive the holidays you may want to consider asserting your boundaries. If you know that there is a friend that always buys you a crappy present maybe get them something a little less thoughtful, if someone asks you to go and fetch something like you are an errand boy, tell them no. You are just as worthy of enjoying the holidays as anyone else in your friend group or family and you do not have to constantly be doing something to prove that you deserve to be there.

I hope you're reading resonated with you and I hope it helped, please feel free to leave a comment! 🩷

- Erika, The Clumsy Witch

[samytheshoulderdemon]

IM VERBALLY POSTING MY OPINION ABOUT A CONTROVERSIAL CHARACTER AND IM SORRY IF YOU DONT AGREE BUT ALSO IF YOU DONT PLEASE TELL ME WHY ID LOVE TO HEAR OPINIONS ABOUT HIM EVEN IF THEY DIFFER FROM MINE CAUSE MOUTHWASHING IS MY SPECIAL INTEREST AND IDC IF PEOPLES OPINIONS ARE DIFFERENT THATS WHY ITS AN OPINION!!!!!!!!!! RAHHHH

Okay, so....

CURLY FAILED AS A MAN AND AS A CAPTAIN BUT I BELIEVE THAT HE WAS A GOOD PERSON!!! THOUGH I DEFINITELY FELT LIKE THE 'TALK' HE HAD WITH JIGGLESHIT WAS A PATHETIC SLAP ON THE WRIST. LIKE. AT MOST.

But I also appreciate that he's very human, very morally Gray, He believed that what he was doing was best for the whole crew. (The bigger picture) He didn't want to start more trouble, he didn't think it was NECESSARY to start more trouble... And I LOVE that about him, he doesn't understand that something like what happened to Anya could happen because he thought knew Jimmy well enough to know he wouldn't do that. I believe, it was not CURLY trying to be malicious it was him trying to regulate the crew in the best interest of EVERYONE (which was NOT the correct thing to do in this situation, but he was trying his best.) ((HES SO HUMAN RAHHH I LOVE HIM))

He definitely paid for what he did in the worst way/ in a way he didn't deserve. (Because no one deserves what happened to Curly) (Except jiggleshit) In my eyes, Curly learned the hard way to not let abusers get away with what they do.

He seems like one of those people (I know one irl, they are a good person, but TOO good to understand why anyone would do something horrendous like Jimmy did) who cant fathom someone like jiggleshit existing, It's not that he didn't believe Anya, he just had NO idea how to go about the situation she was in. [In short, he's naive. *respectfully*]

he was so stuck on jiggleshit being a good person that he wasn't able to change his opinion quick enough to help her... I think I like him because I believe that he learned that lesson throughout the game!!! He's such a beautiful character!!

To close, I know that because of what he did people don't like him, and are 100% entitled to their opinions of him!!! But because their opinion entirely depends on what they believe makes someone a bad person and because of this, everyones opinion tends to differ a little bit🥺🥺🥺

ANYWAYS!!! IL SHUT UP NOW SORRY IM OBSESSED NDNDJDNDJDJDNSN UM SORRY IF THIS WAS REPEDITIVE!!! I was kind of Frankensteining my previous thoughts left in comments and text responses together, so thats why it might not be very coherent thank you for reading my rambling if u did, it means a lot 😭😭😭

I wanted to post this on my actual account as well as the mouthwashing community :b

[just-your-average-shiz-student]

There’s probably a discussion to be had on how much Madame Morrible, respected as she may be, can effectively groom two young adults, but regardless, I am delighted by how the movie highlighted how manipulative she is from the moment Elphaba steps into Shiz.

I keep thinking back on that brief moment during What Is This Feeling when Glinda stops and Elphie is jumping from excitement (an openness of emotion she can scarcely express in front of other people) before Madame Morrible reaches out and holds her.

She actually trusted that woman, someone who saw her potential and believed in her from the get-go, who (at least outwardly) barely even took notice of her green skin. And all that newfound validation gave a boost to Elphaba’s confidence that was probably crucial for her sanity as a social pariah in Shiz. Madame Morrible did that for her!

Really, the only flaw in Morrible’s and the the Wizard’s evil scheme was that Elphaba’s principles and desire for justice were stronger than her need for anyone’s approval.

And that is so crazy to me, because if there’s a person who by all accounts should be subjectable to doing things in exchange for validation, it would be Elphaba. There’s so very few people in the world who have her back. Really, there’s only Glinda, Fiyero, Dulcibear, and Dr. Dillamond, who has been arrested and can’t help anyway. It’s amazing (read: depressing) how small her support system is.

And still, AND STILL, she managed to walk away from an opportunity of belonging somewhere, doing something she is good at (magic), with people who could grant her everything she ever wanted!

But as she herself said in Defying Gravity, she “can’t want it anymore”. So it’s not even a case of her not wanting that validation and acceptance anymore, it is her deliberately choosing to let that go in favour of something greater. And I know this addition was mainly about Morrible, but truth is, I’m not sure if she would be able to have the strength to refuse her and the Wizard’s offer if it wasn’t for Glinda.

Glinda, who could not have made a less favorable first impression on Elphaba. Glinda, who had the social power to make the whole student body accept Elphaba, but chose not to due to her own desire to be seen as a martyr for tolerating Elphaba’s presence (even if she seeks her out during times she really doesn’t need to for some reason). Glinda, who desperately wanted Morrible’s attention, the one thing Elphaba had that she did not.

But once their friendship blossomed, Glinda really became Elphie’s biggest defender.

She didn’t change a single thing about her appearance during Popular; when Elphaba’s invitation to go to Emerald City came, she was there right at her heels, supporting her, being proud of her, not really trying to shift the crowd’s attention to herself at all.

When the train comes, even though she is happy for her, there’s a part of her that’s morose about the prospect of being away from her best friend (“How will I manage without you?”), even if for such a short time.

While they’re going through the Wizard’s palace, Elphaba is anxious the whole time, and so is Glinda, but she is the one who pushes her forward with motivational words (“You can do anything.”).

And finally, during Defying Gravity, Glinda takes the first step back in their relationship since Ozdust, refusing to go with her. But even then, she doesn’t belittle Elphaba’s decision.

She initially resents the fact that Elphaba’s reaction “hurt her cause forever”, but once she sees what the other girl’s planning to do and that there’s no convincing her to give up, Glinda’s still supportive.

She gives Elphie a cloak so she won’t feel cold during her flight, she smiles at her even though it’s obvious she’s doing everything in her power to not fall over in a sobbing mess. Even her simple “I hope you’re happy” shows how she’ll always stand for Elphaba herself, even if she can’t stand with her cause.

And for as much as we like to make fun of how Madame Morrible clearly couldn’t stand Glinda from the very beginning and was always throwing really unnecessary jabs at her, I think deep down she saw the danger that could come from a friendship between the girls, how more difficult it would be to get Elphaba to be so reliant on her validation if she could get it from another source.

That’s why she seemed specially dissatisfied seeing that Glinda had gone with her to Emerald City, that’s why the Wizard himself felt the need to extend his offer of a permanent stay to Glinda too: because they both could see the influence she has on Elphaba.

And contrary to them, there’s no ulterior motive there. Glinda believes in Elphaba for who she is, and regardless of how strained their relationship becomes in the future, that never once stops being true.

you noticed how Glinda doesn't really let go of Elphaba basically from the Ozdust scene on and she's basically always holding Elphaba's hand or hanging onto her arm, even when its physically awkward to be doing so. and even during Defying Gravity after its clear that Glinda isn't going with Elphaba, they're still holding hands right up until the point where Glinda is grabbed by a guard and forcible pulled away from Elphaba

[ladykailitha]

Howlin' for Yule

Hello and welcome to my Christmas AUvent Calendar! Every day from now until the 24th I will be posting a ficlet that is 500-1500 from an AU I've done over the years.

All stories will be marked with the tag #12 aus of christmas so you can follow along as I will only be tagging my permanent list for this (it would get too confusing otherwise).

The next one on our list is: Werewolf verse. You can read the story here. All links will be to the first chapter, but the chapter itself will have links to the rest of the story.

Do you know how ridiculously proud I am of that title? Do you? Because I am so damn proud of that title. Also welcome to the one that got away from me. I could have kept it short. They dance, they schmooze, and they go home.

But I wanted to write more with this one and when I realized if I wanted this to end on the 24th, I should have started on the 13th, instead of the 12th, I figured I could extend this and post it Christmas Eve.

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9

~

Eddie stood in front of a mirror and fussed with his tie. He usually got a chuckle from seeing his reflection in a mirror because according to Wayne that one only became a myth recently with them no longer using silver to back them anymore. But not even that thought could bring a smile to his face.

Because he had to look super nice for his boyfriend’s big Yule Tide ‘do up at the new vampire coven’s place. After the Creel house had almost burnt down when Jason attacked, Chrissy thought it would be better to move the coven somewhere safer. Closer to civilization so that if that happened again, they could get help faster.

They had bought a beautiful mansion in Loch Nora that was able to house all the remaining members of the coven comfortably. It even had a large room just for balls. Which is what this most certainly was.

When Chrissy suggested it back in October, she had merely suggested party including the vampires and werewolves as a way to foster peace between them. But Steve, the beautiful big brained and even bigger hearted had suggested a Yule Ball for all the supernatural beings in Hawkins.

So that meant that all Eddie’s friends were going to be there and he had to look nice.

“You look like you’re going to a funeral,” Wayne groused from behind him. “Probably your own judging from the sour expression on his face.

Eddie whirled around in shock. Wayne was standing there in early 18th century clothes in golds and browns. He looked amazing. “Why can’t I look like that?!”

Wayne looked down at his attire and then back up. “Would you like to?”

Eddie cocked his head to the side. “I mean we really don’t have much time to make me something like that.” He waved at Wayne’s outfit. “Because I don’t think your clothes will fit me very well.”

Wayne chuckled. “Oh ye of little faith. You take that monkey suit off, and I’ll play fairy goduncle. Go on.”

Eddie raised a questioning eyebrow but did as he was told. He hadn’t been gone two scant minutes when he came back and all the clothes were laid out on his bed. Silks, velvet, and lace all in black. He would cut a dashing figure for sure.

He hurried to get dressed and then rushed out to the front to the kitchen and poured out a bowl of milk, placing it on the windowsill.

Wayne chuckled from the living room. “She owed me a favor, but I’m sure she will appreciate the treat anyway.”

Eddie shook his head. “It’s just good manners.”

Wayne nodded solemnly. He had raised this boy right. Not just in the ways of the supernatural, but in the ways of being a good human, too.

Then the sound of horses arriving, clattered outside their window and they both exited the trailer to see an elegant coach and four black horses.

“Your boy sure has a flare for the dramatic,” Wayne huffed as he was helped into the carriage by an actual footman. Something that Wayne had never experienced in his long life.

Eddie could only agree. In the last light of the shortest day of the year, the driver and footman seemed to glimmer as though they had a glamour placed over them to look vaguely human.

They pulled up to the coven’s new home and Eddie let out a wolf whistle. “The new Dominus seems to have her own flare for the dramatic.”

“Nah,” Wayne said as he exited the carriage, “that just comes from being a vampire.”

They were shown into what Eddie could only call a ballroom. It was massive. It was currently setup with long mahogany tables with little nameplates in front of every placement. The eating utensils were gold, the glasses were crystal, and plates were fine china.

It screamed opulence and once Eddie would have turned tail and ran. But not anymore. Being a vampire changed that, for sure, but what really cinched the deal was the man, standing next to the Dominus in a beautiful red and gold outfit similar to what Wayne and Eddie were wearing.

Steve Harrington, Roane Pack Alpha.

To be continued on Dec. 24th

~

I could have waited until the 23rd to post this one, but there was something symbolic about posting it on the day of the winter solstice. The longest night

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @cryptid-system @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006

5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @genderless-spoon @fearieshadow @thesecondfate

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Stray Kids Tea Sessions

Okay, I held off doing this and now that I did this. I can see why I dreaded doing this lol Anyway, kept to my word that I would do this. All of this is alleged, some aren't that wild, but some I just wish I didn't get the messages I get, but fu** it. I am not filtering my readings for anyone, so here it is. Take this with a grain a salt. This is my interpretation of the cards/messages I got. I did not really enjoy doing this, it was kind of tiring. I just did this to test it out and see what I get. I won't say I will not do another group, but it will be a while, until I try another group, because this reading is exhausting, or if I do another group, I will have to do it in segments, until I release another one, so that may take time, we'll see how I feel.

Bang Chan

Things are pretty much handing to him. He has really great manifestation skills. Like, boy seemed to have an easy life. He is pretty much coddled, great loving family environment. He has the power to create the life he wants. Wouldn't be surprised if he understands manifestation and how that works. He's good at manipulating his environment and others around him, doesn't necessarily need to be bad. He's quite shielded and can't cross certain lines or has strong boundaries around him. There is a lack of maturity or a stunted child within him. I think I saw this in his perspective reading. Maybe he wasn't able to be a child. You know how people are stunted, because they never got to be a child, so they remain that way. Balance, fairness and harmony are important to him, so if things are not stabilized, he will struggle. He may come off as mature, but there is a strong inner child there that he hasn't evolved from. But he does try to come off cold, calculated and stern in his decisions. This isn't that wild to me, really, this is all you are giving us lol Okay, I take what they give me.

Lee Know

He is persistent in achieving his goals and moving along in his career. Okay, I see a woman standing in his way. She comes off as like she will help him offer him advice, but she can be brutal with words. She could have beaten him down with her words. He seems pretty defensive around her, like he has to protect his energy and be on guard around her. There is something with water or could be a mixed drink here, so I see in one card, 2 cups of water being mixed together, and the next card, a fish appears out of the cup. I am trying to understand what that means. This is not easy to extract information from this group, so I am struggling here. There is some type of concoction they take or make that help them climb up the pyramid scheme, how I get that is that this card at the bottom has a pyramid on the sand and the person with the cup has their foot on top of that pyramid, so you got to look what you are pulled to on the imagery and come to conclusions as to what that can mean. He's kind of showing me he has to deal with a lot of BS to get to where he is at but will defend it if need be. So, in the middle of this spread there is a man pretty beaten up with a pentacle behind him a bit shattered. This shows me he will defend what he built no matter what. I got even from that cold bi*** referring to the woman I was talking about earlier, like she comes off as trying to help, but she is cold and emotionless and kind of makes things worse. Okay, this one a bit more interesting from what I got from Bang Chan. He gave me some actual tea.

Changbin

He is showing me people or he himself being puppeteered to fit a certain image, okay already got this message before. There are snakes in the industry or within the company. I see him having to be in competition with others. He is showing me whatever desires and creative work he has it pretty much is vaulted. I see them harnessing a lot of their creative energy, so industry folks are not about creativity, but mostly about money, so they focus on work that makes them money. He wants his work to be more creative. They handed him this fantasy or idealized version of what things would be like. He wants things to be more balanced. People to compromise more with the idols. He isn't sharing much about himself, more so about the industry and his struggle as a creative artist, so yeah, that is all he is giving me, moving on. Boy really don't like sharing too much tea about himself. I get it through. I don't push things.

Hyunjin

Well, this industry is mentally tasking and burdensome for him. He has to hide things, which can be a burden to him. I think he hates not being able to express his pain and mental struggles. I see him dealing with depression. The Moon card and 10 of Swords gives me that. His Mom may play a major role in his career, could be one of those Momagers. She may have wanted him to be famous. Umm, getting something dark here of course, but got some blood contract here may have been made, it could between the Mom and company. I just see the 10 of Swords with blood spilled over and knives on the person's back. I can see that as Hyunjin, but than The Empress card, which I see as Mom energy also has blood on some weird dagger next to her spilling into the water and blood contract popped up, so there's that. The Sun and the 6 of Wands gives me Ego, so all he seems to know is to be famous and be an idol. Don't really think he knows who he really is. It was like he was born to be famous. It is like he shines when he is in the spotlight, but behind the scenes he is very, let me say depressed. The Mother card being in the middle just makes me feel she is very instrumental to him being an idol. I wouldn't be surprised if his Mom dabbled in Magic and manifested this life for him. I see her having high standards for her son. I mean as most Asians Mom are, so are we surprised here?

Han

He is also showing me the cutthroat business and how there is competition, and you have to take others out to be on top. Is this with the members or does this have to do with the trainee period, like why are they showing me this? It is like they may always be put against one another. I am getting conquer and defeat and he was able to shine above that and find success. I am not getting great messages from him, it is kind of freaking me out what I am getting, so I didn't really understand why I got the 2 of Pentacles, but the wolf on the card is calling my attention, he looks really creepy and scary to me. And I got the message wolf in sheep's clothing. Ya'll can look up what that means, not saying it. I am not sure he is how he appears. There could be something more sinister to him I am just going to say I don't care, this alleged, ugh this is why I didn't want to do this, His energy kind of creeps me out. Sorry Han stans, but I am not faking what I get. Ya'll can ignore this if you like. I am not going to pretend that I know what this 2 of Cups is, he may have made a pact with someone, who knows. I am not trying to look into that more, kind of done, moving on.

I think that extra protection I have started doing is working, no sickness, but we will see if it continues working for the future.

Felix

He is showing me similar things to his reading. A disconnection, unsatisfied with what people have to offer him, numbness, a lack of emotional connection to the world and others. Something about protective barriers on him. Being coddled, not able to grow up, lack of freedom. This Wheel of Fortune, on the card I see day and night, so this gives me there are two sides of him, a lighter, bright side and a darker side. Once again, nothing new here. He has a strong creative energy. A lot of potential for success. He does have this vibrant inner child in him. I say if he is freely able to express himself, he will thrive, but he cannot, so that is probably where the disconnect comes from. He is stunted and stifled, but there is a light in him that cannot be tamed, or shouldn't. His inner child wasn't able to flourish. There is something about his childhood that they keep wanting to show me but can't fully grasp that. Until that inner child can be freed or expressed. I don't see him being fully happy or satisfied. There is something in his childhood he has not addressed and that will keep him stuck. That is all I am going to share there. I know some of ya'll will be confused, that is all they are sharing. I can't clarify anymore.

Seungmin

There could be something about him wanting to get away from home, maybe step out on his own. Maybe he wanted to face a challenge, maybe he felt coddled at home. This seemed to be his decision, even though he may have been pretty young when he signed. Like in most cases family plays a big role, but he seemed to want to do it on his own. Now, once again similar to Han, there is some pact here. There is some sort of pact, maybe with the company that has to do with water and cups. It is like they make some sort of pledge with water and cups. He is showing they sold them a fantasy, like it will be like this, kind of filling them with hope, but it is not like that. And now he feels like he has to defend himself. Like there are so many obstacles and challenges. Nothing like he thought it would be like. This doesn't seem too wild from what I already learned about the industry and idols, so moving on.

I.N

He isn't showing me anything to crazy, which is what I expected. He is showing me that this is something he wanted as well, wasn't he like a baby when he joined? But he seems pretty coddles and protected. I can see people babying him honestly. He kind of stands on his own. He kind of follows his own inner compass. Although young, childlike and vibrant. He can follow his own guidance and intuition pretty well. He does have a passion or desire to obtain the things he wants. He's not giving me anything wild. He seems just like a normal kid immersed in the idol world, like it is wild how some idols are into the wild stuff, but then you get ones that are just normal, nothing to see here. I adore this boy, he is a sweetheart, but he is too normal that his tea isn't that interesting to be honest. You know what I did get some tea, but wasn't comfortable saying it, but fu** it this is a tea session, and I asked for them to share it, he may like the same sex. I am seeing that. You got the Lovers card with 2 dudes on it and the knight of wands, which could indicate sexual attraction, and he is moving towards the lover's card, remember imagery is important, so yeah, I am interpreting it that way. I am not filtering my interpretations and what I am feeling, so there you go, and I shouldn't filter a tea session lol

Okay, if I do another group. Girlie will need some time, this is not an easy one for me to do, but this group is hard to get information from, so that could be why it was difficult for me. Reading this after doing it. I actually did feel I got interesting messages here, but it is draining to do it at the time.

[yandere-fics]

♡ How They React To Their Darling Sighing For Attention ♡

(I tried to edit the original one but that one wouldn't accept my edits soooo... Honestly Fixing this fi was a long time overdue because the formatting on this was just not great and I'm pretty sure this was my second or third fic back when I only had the main three on this blog.)

♡ Miriel, the poor thing is panicking. Most of them would anyways but her especially due to her being an elf, the connection is not nearly as deep as it is for the others and so she can't just feel your emotions or know if you're actually sad or not like the others are able to. She worries about how long you've been sad without her even knowing! It could have been forever, really she feels like a terrible mate for this but don't worry she'll do everything she can to remedy this situation! ♡

♡ Explaining you were just being overdramatic for attention is not helping anything either honestly, if anything it actually only makes the situation worse. Did she leave you feeling unwanted and unloved for so long that you felt as though you had to resort to drastic actions? Did you feel as though you aren't allowed to ask her for attention? She really feels as though she's a failure and so obviously she must have been working too much, she needs to take time off and work even less so you can get the attention you desperately need! ♡

♡ Eliza can feel your emotions but that still doesn't make her feel any better about this because at this point she's honestly doubting if her connection to you is strong enough because while you didn't feel sad or anything, if you had she would have rushed over to you, the sigh just sounded so sad so maybe she's not as good at reading her mates emotions as she thinks she is. Werewolves rank second in ability to read their mates emotions, behind Demons who are quite excellent at it. ♡

♡ Explaining it to her will confuse her and make her call you silly all night while she gives you all the attention you could want. Honestly though it is rare there is a moment when you are in the same room with her and her attention is not solely on you, she doesn't even cook because she eats her food raw so there's not many chores or tasks she would be doing to take her eyes off you. This is most likely to happen outside if she's securing your area for a picnic at a park but even then not likely. ♡

♡ Despite claiming to be desperately waiting for her mate, though admittedly not very good at that either, she didn't ever look more into the mate bond or pay attention to what other wolves experienced when they felt the mate bond so she wouldn't know how strongly she can feel your emotions, sure she can have a vague sense at times but beyond that she's lost so when you sigh she thinks you're really really sad and that she can't feel it. ♡

♡ Don't worry she will forgive you for not stating what you wanted directly so just come cuddle with her, she'll give you all the attention you need. Just uhm, forgive her if she gets a boner during your cuddling because she was very turned on by having her mate crave her attention. Much like Eliza though there's not many times her attention will be off you, the only time would likely be when she's out running. ♡

♡ Kassien views this as cute though it's actually very rare you do something that she doesn't view as cute, she might not get to say it very often but you're so cute to her when you actually behave yourself for once and while she would prefer you just ask for the attention, wanting attention from your mate is very good behavior that she would like to reward though she would like to work on making sure you get a bit better at communicating with her. ♡

♡ She can feel your emotions though so she knows for sure that you're not actually sad, just wanting her attention. It does show her that the mate bond is actually working on your side finally and she's extremely smug about that. Come to her lovely, she'll give you all the attention you need or if you won't come to her then she'll come to you because to be honet she does very much enjoy having your attention too. ♡

♡ Nikki actually does know exactly what it is you want. She's a high ranked demon so besides the boss, she is the one who would have the best sense of her mates wants and emotions though she can't always tell why you are having the emotion like when she can sense you're upset and sad because she killed someone but assumes the reason must be because she didn't kill them brutally enough. Anyways she knows what this is for because lower ranked angels will occasionally engage in the same 'play' behaviors with their mates because sighing and acting tired is the faster way to catch your mates attention. ♡

♡ So basically the conclusion she comes to from this is that you wanted her attention to nap with you which she will gladly indulge as long as she doesn't have any paperwork to do. If she does then she'll just soothe you to sleep with her scent and join you as soon as she finishes. She is glad you are finally doing something she recognizes, maybe humans aren't as weird as she thinks they are. ♡

♡ Runa is like Miriel except she's a huge overreactor and assume something horrible must have happened to make you sigh so sadly. She'll kill the problem for you though, Love! She's such a great mate, she'll make sure it's extra bloody too if you want her to! When you tell her you just wanted her attention though she feels like she could cum on the spot, she just kiss you right that second, it's just too exciting! She obviously knew you loved her back but this is just extra proof. ♡

♡ There won't be many times her attention is off of you, even when she's gaming you're on her lap while she poorly explains her game to you so her attention is still pretty much on you and you are her favorite little toy, she likes just watching you in the apartment sometimes, she used to be bored all the time except for when she killed but now she has you to occupy her. Even when she kills in front of you she is paying attention to your reactions. ♡

♡ Nora doesn't know what to do, she's very attuned to your emotions and what you want because she is walking on thin ice to be your perfect girlfriend but she doesn't know what to do with this. She doesn't know how intense she should get with the attention and affection she's giving you because she doesn't want to scare you off because then she'd have to kidnap you. ♡

♡ Honestly she's probably frozen debating all her options and you might think she didn't even hear you but she did, she just doesn't know how she needs to go about this, it's an opportunity for her to make you love her more but she could also screw this up badly. You're much better off asking her to cuddle or kiss you because otherwise she's going to have a hard time. ♡

♡ Sawyer knows exactly what it is you want, she could sense your agitation in the mate bond and while she does think it's cute and does appreciate you wanting her attention, she wants you to ask for what you want directly so she's going to ignore this. You have to be a good girl and tell her what it is you need or she won't give you anything. If you continue to sigh or do nothing then she'll eventually tell you this. ♡

♡ You may not realize this but even when she's filing paperwork all day long, her attention never leaves you for a second, if you're in her office she is listening to every sound you make, it cheers her up actually and she longs for your attention too. If you're at home she hones in on every emotion she feels through the bond and will even order food for you if she feels you're hungry in the penthouse or she'll text you to tell you to order whatever you want to eat. Either way while her attention isn't always apparent, there is never a single second she is not focused on you. ♡

[epickiya722]

I already made my predictions here on the epilogue, but I want to focus on the Yuko Ozawa part since I know some shippers are in panic about it.

Everything I'm about to say is from the POV of someone who did read MHA and been though 431 and someone who does ship ItaFushi. Do I think anyone should agree with me? No. But what I hope what I'm about to say at least ease your panic for the time being.

With that out the way!

Now, I'll reiterate from my other post.

If I were to guess what Yuko's part will be about, I think she may meet Yuji again. It makes sense. However, Gege being unpredictable, I feel like he may not go about making it something "romantic".

If anything, I think he may go the route as to what happened with Hana and Megumi. It's not going anywhere.

A piece of me feels like with this epilogue Yuji and Yuko will have a heart to heart, but Yuko comes out having a new revelation about herself which is to love herself.

If there's one thing about some of the female cast of JJK is that they're unapologetic themselves.

Nobara and Maki are the biggest examples of this. Other examples are Yuki and Uro. Yorozu even is an example as she didn't care what people thought of her.

Miwa may have a little ship tease with Muta, but even that doesn't stop her of being herself. When we do get a bit of her "hiding" herself, it wasn't for a boy. It was because her mother told her to dye her hair black (as it is naturally blue).

Maybe Yuko could get that treatment here and that's why she was chosen. To give closure to her character that allows her to move on.

Again, Gege is unpredictable. I have a feeling that the reveals of the epilogue was to give fans a heads-up and... what is the word I want to use... I can't exactly explain it, but maybe make fans feel like they're getting this possible romance as a "red herring" as to hide that "Actually, no, none of that here".

Think about what happened to Hana (who is no different than Yuko) and Megumi. Most of the story, she was spent crushing on Megumi but that went nowhere.

Thinking about it, when it comes to F/M relationships here, it really doesn't go anywhere romantically.

Miwa and Muta? Muta is dead.

Got a bit of ship tease with Yuki and Choso and guess what? They're both dead.

Nobara deadass states she would never date Yuji (and I'm sure this extends to Megumi, too).

Shoko says Hell would freeze over before she fell in love with either Gojo or Geto. And those two are dead and happy together in the afterlife. 👀

As I mentioned Hana's crush on Megumi? Girl, might as well move on.

Utahime straight up doesn't like Gojo and he's dead now.

Yuta had that childhood romance with Rika and she died and whatever he has with Maki isn't really canon. They're just friends.

Yorozu had a thing for Sukuna, but he was not feeling her at all. And they're both dead now, so...??

See the pattern here? Wouldn't it be odd for Gege to give Yuko and Yuji something explicitly romantic when they haven't done much before?

Out of the four characters, Yuko is one of the most background of background characters (I say that will love before someone comes for me). Nobara, Uraume and Panda all have some involvement with the more active parts of the story. Much like Fumi and Saori was to Nobara and Tsumiki is to Megumi, she was a character part of Yuji's story.

However, what did those other characters have that she didn't?

A close relationship. You know who else was like this to Yuji?

Rin Amai. "But Kiya, he didn't--" Ah! Rin was also someone from Yuji's past that also was affected by Yuji's presence in some way. And he managed to get some bit of closure to his character. He gets this in 270. Rin apologizes to the kid he didn't stand up for and allowed bullies to harass. Despite not getting forgiveness, he still was able to apologize, accept what is done and move on.

Yuko may get this. Last time, she didn't tell Yuji her feelings because she didn't want him to like her for her looks. That's a regret and one time about JJK characters is they don't want to live with regrets. With Yuko, she may need to tell Yuji her feelings so that she can move on from that regret and focus on being her most unapologetic self.

I don't know Gege personally, but I do feel that this could be the case and honestly, I do hope that it is. It would be good for her and yeah, I don't really feel threatened by her presence. I'm going to still ship ItaFushi so...

[agrlsname]

Thank you @therealsaintscully for the tag! I'm soon about to post what might be my very last fic, so it's quite fitting to look back on my journey now.

How many works do you have on ao3?

38 – all Johnlock, except for one GO fic. On New Year's Eve I will post number 39!

What’s your total word count?

371,360 (will soon top it off with another 221 words ;))

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Friends Do (by FAR), Who I Really Am (personal fave), The General Idea, Coldness/Heat, Tomorrow's Song

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

At first I responded to every single one! And I still try to respond to every single person. But now, I sometimes only respond to the last one if it's a reader who's commented on every chapter and I get all the comments at once. I like staying connected to the readers, that's one of the most fun parts about fandom!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

It has to be This Is Your Song. I mean, there's another one within a series that end in an angsty cliffhanger, but MCD surely has to take the prize?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Oh my, nearly all of them have happy endings – so what would count as happier than happy..? Maybe it's actually the one that isn't posted yet – stay tuned for the resolution of the New Year's Kiss series!

Do you write crossovers?

Nope. I've written a fusion though (Johnlock and Moulin Rouge!).

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yup. Some people get really angry at John in What Friends Do and they take it out on me. It's interesting because many MANY others adore the story with all their hearts! I even wrote a sequel from John's POV just to try to get people to understand, but the haters didn't understand anyway.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Even though at the beginning I said I'd never, half of my works are now rated E or M. What kind? Um, is "emotional, gay sex" a genre?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Many of them, into five different languages! Coolest thing ever.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I think I'm too pedantic for that. I've loved working with my beta on some poem translations, though, that The Sky is Full of Fiddles is based on.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

38 fics – you all know it's Johnlock, right? There are others that I love, but nothing can ever compare.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don't have WIPs! I'm too much of a control freak and perfectionist when it comes to writing – I want to be able to change the beginning when I'm writing the ending. I don't even have unpublished WIPs – I hate the idea of leaving works unfinished. If I was still in those first years of writing frenzy, when I was single and didn't have a child, I'd have expanded on This Time – but as it is, I knew that I wouldn't have the time to do it justice. So I purposely ended on a cliffhanger that would still allow it to stand on its own the way it is.

What are your writing strengths?

Emotions, according to my beta! If you ask me, I'd say describing things – often emotions, I suppose – in new, poetic ways that play on different senses and therefore make them immediate. It's something I love reading myself, anyway, so it's something I've been practicing for... well, decades now. I'd like to think I've gotten at least somewhat good at it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm weirdly bad at coming up with the small details that aren't important, but needed. A recent example is I needed a character to text another with an invented problem to try to get him to come over. It wasn't at all important what the problem was, but it also couldn't be just anything; it had to be in line with his character. I could not for the life of me come up with this problem myself – eventually my husband did it for me. So those kinds of details in my stories are rarely from my own brain!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm, well, I've tried not to do that. As a reader I find it annoying to have to look things up, or scroll down to the notes. I have three fics in which characters aren't English; in This Is Your Song I added a couple of "Bonjour"s for flavour, which is about as far as my own French knowledge reaches... In the Fiddles series they're Swedes and speak my mother tongue, but I've written everything in English except for the words that English doesn't have (like for example "polska", a kind of dance), and at the very end, some song lyrics that are then translated into English in the end notes that come immediately after. I did want to add that song for flavour, but I didn't want it to be annoying.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Johnlock! I started in the aftermath of season 4 back in January 2017 and then couldn't stop.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I'm wondering whether I will come back to fic writing at a later point, but for another fandom. I've long wanted to write more for GO, although I already have written one fic. It would probably be a lot of fun to write for OFMD too. Doctor Who maybe? I don't know, it intimidates me to write for a new fandom where I don't yet know the characters as well as I know Sherlock and John.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This question is too cruel! There are so many of them that I love. Maybe I have to say The Sky is Full of Fiddles, after all – it holds such a special place in my heart for many reasons that go beyond the story itself (although that's true for several fics). Other faves are Your Daughter, The Zebra Sheets and of course Who I Really Am, which I'm liking enough to turn it into a novel I'm now trying to get published. See, I couldn't pick one!!

I'm on Tumblr way too sporadically to have any idea of who's already done this and who hasn't, so I don't dare tag anyone... Feel free to take it and tag me if you feel like it!

[rainykthebroken]

As promised, an actual response to this amazing comic and the great letter underneath it!

First, for the comic:

I love it! I adore how you interpreted “Sectonia” and especially her eyes. It just radiates with something that goes far beyond mere hatred or anguish. Black abyss except for small dots that pierce through your mortal flesh. It has such an otherworldly vibe that fits that surreal moment nature so perfectly. Also, the way “Taranza” (or the representation of his self-loathing and depression) seems to hatch from the wasp queen like if it was a chrysalid, body all inky and black- *chef kiss*

It captures perfectly in images how it was Taranza's own insecurities and self imposed misery that clouded his vision!

And the way you drew Taranza! I recognize a bit of @nokk0‘s lovely interpretation of his outfit in this comic, and you made our favorite spider so expressive (especially with his upper eyes). He goes from anger to sadness to numbness… and finally joy when he finds Magolor again (I like how Magolor’s calls slowly reach him after the whole experience to snap him out, and how Taranza never lets go of his top hat). Seeing Taranza’s memories of his friends was a special treat.

Impossible to point out a favorite panel, they’re all perfect, but I have a particular fondness for the one where Taranza looks at his reflection. It is exactly what I was trying to describe in the story: he looks at himself, all tired, a bit melancholic and worn out from what happened… but now, it’s really him that looks back: him, and his flaws, and his qualities. Taranza is whole again.

The whole comic was perfect, and I’m honored that my story inspired you to take time and draw all of this. It means a lot to me.

Secondly, for the letter at the end:

Again, I’m genuinely honored that you liked A Wonderful Attraction, and my other Kirby stories. I wanted to say that it is good that you took some creative liberties! That is what I (personally) love the most! Seeing people having their own interpretations of the scenes and the outfits!

Each panel of your comic filled me with such happiness and giddiness! I love your style and the emotions you managed to paint on these little characters’ faces.

It feels also good to see that I apparently succeeded in making secondary characters interesting. I always tried to develop Susie, Marx and Lor because while the ship is the focus, it would fill hollow if they were mere wallpaper on the narrative background. Reading that my fanfic have your favourite characterizations of them gave me a serotonin boost. 

It’s a bit hard to write since English isn’t my native language, so it’s double the work. I write the paragraphs in french, and then I have to brainstorm to find metaphors or specific words that will fit the english language. I always was afraid that it was showing too much in my work.

As for what will happen after A Wonderful Attraction: I will try to write for other fandoms (Metroid, Bug Fables perhaps?) for a bit. I feel like publishing another Magoranza fanfic only weeks after the ending of this one would be a bit too much. I want the finale to sting a little, give weight to the fact that it is the last page of this story… or at least, it will be for a while. I have small ideas for new fanfics taking place with the gay wizards (however they’ll be far much smaller).

Finally, I wanted to say it again: 

THANK YOU!

You, not only by your wonderful art piece and your kind words, really give me strength. I will never be able to thank all of these incredible artists that draw my fanfic enough, nor the ones who comment on it.

Thank you all for making this adventure, which started a year ago now, even more enjoyable!

"LIVE"

A short comic based on "A Wonderful Attraction' by @rainykthebroken

i hope you enjoyed it!!! it gets a little rough around the edges towards the end-- but i hope that can be forgiven LOL. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read the original fanfic by the wonderful Rainyk (@rainykthebroken)!!! it's a fantastic work that i couldn't hope to capture with this little comic of mine :) to rainyk: i hope this comic was able to instill in you even a fraction of the joy that i got reading not just AWA, but your other Kirby works as well!! im sorry if i couldn't fully capture it as you envisioned, drawing is hard and i had to take a few creative liberties for a comic (>n< '') !! i wanted to put this short footnote for you because as someone who is not just an artist but a writer, i find that written works are often gone less noticed / less praised, and i wanted to make sure to share mine with you!! while reading AWA, i was deeply captured by your extremely beautiful and descriptive writing style- i could almost picture the scenes you were painting down to details, and your use of metaphors throughout the story had me genuinely close to tears a couple of times LOL. your characterizations of the entire kirby cast show such a deep understanding of the characters, especially within the main 4 (+lor...) that genuinely helped shape how i view them myself. they are by and large my favourite characterizations of them period-- theyre filled with such nuance and interesting development, and most importantly you gave time for all of them to develop with the other characters, instead of just focusing on the ship!! when i first read that your native language wasn't english, i was so shocked!! you honestly could have fooled me LOL. your writing showed such a deep understanding of the language art i found myself mulling over some of my favorite lines for way too long (><''). to end this long note off, i just wanted to say that since AWA is coming to an end- for my own selfish purposes, i honestly hope you'll continue with more Kirby works, or more works in this 'timeline' even, since i fell in love with these characters so deeply i'm almost broken to have to let them go -- BWAHAH. but i also believe you have a great talent that i know you can take very far from reading what i have- so i will be excited for whatever it is you decide to write next, even if that isn't kirby!! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ i hope that you enjoyed my little work in tribute of yours!! (and that it isn't too incomprehensible because it got super scribbly LMFAO.)

[whateverisbeautiful]

First. I love your breakdowns. After reading your analysis something has came up that I’ve never considered. As much as I want there to be rainbows and unicorns after the ending of TWOL, I actually think Richonne has their work cut out for them… specifically with RJ. RJ is a little boy, and has always loved his dad. Like Maggie rightfully grieved Glenn , Michonne loved that man so much she made sure their child knew about him as if he never disappeared; nevertheless, I could see the mental breakdowns Rick would have seeing baby pictures of the child he wanted so badly. I could see Rick and Rick Junior instantly having that parental bond that comes with father and child, but I do think Rick would be possessive in a way that anytime RJ would want to ask for help outside of Rick, even if it’s to Michonne, he’d take it personally. I love how the generally consensus in the Richonne fandom is that Rick calls RJ “ junior” and only he is allowed to call him that, and based on the way RJ was hugging his daddy, no one in the world is coming near those two. Do you think Rick is the jealous type, in the case of raising his Junior?

Thank you for reading the breakdowns! Every time I think about Rick calling RJ “Junior” it makes my heart happy. 😊 I wrote out my thoughts on the rest below ⬇️💗:

I don’t think Rick would be possessive or jealous when it comes to RJ’s relationship with Michonne or take it personally if RJ gravitates more toward Michonne at first. I think Rick would understand why that is. And he would of course feel some heartbreak that he wasn’t able to establish a relationship with RJ for as long as Michonne got to, but I think he actually would be really happy seeing that RJ is close to his mom.

Because just like Rick would be in awe of RJ as the little boy he created, he’d also be in awe of RJ as the little boy Michonne created and Rick would love that RJ gets to call the woman he loves ‘mom’ and have qualities like her and have a special bond with her. I think that would be one of the more uplifting things in Rick’s life, knowing his mini-me loves and trusts Michonne just like he does.

When it comes to RJ turning to others, if it ever felt like RJ was consistently seeming closer to other people it would be a very natural human response for Rick to feel jealous of that. But like you mentioned, Rick and RJ’s bond took root pretty instantly and Michonne did ensure her kids still felt a connection with Rick even in his absence, so I don’t imagine that it would take all that long for RJ to start turning to Rick more often than he turns to others outside the family.

Certain things would take time of course and it wouldn't just be a perfectly smooth road but as Rick and RJ’s bond strengthens more and more, like you also said, nothing in the world would come between them and cause Rick to have to feel jealous or possessive. I think about how even when Shane was practically trying to replace Rick in Carl’s life, while Rick was very protective of his family he also didn’t allow Shane to really ever make him feel threatened that he could legitimately take Carl from him because he knew Carl is his son no matter what. So while circumstances are different with Rick not getting to raise RJ from birth, I think Rick still felt such an undeniable connection to RJ that even if jealousy or possessive thoughts crossed his mind he'd ultimately land on knowing RJ's his son no matter what and nothing can truly infringe on that.

[giantkillerjack]

Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!

Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*

Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[livvyofthelake]

ok sorry for getting depressing last night life is literally horrible and unlivable and the lowest it's ever been without dipping into active suicide risk territory. but we move i suppose

[brittlebutch]

actually, having a kind of revelatory moment here of if HRT was something i have been considering for this long, but has remained inaccessible to me, then that means i Do actually have opinions about my appearance/presentation, so just because i can't take That Particular step doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of other avenues i could be pursuing (ie, clothing/accessories/etc.) that i just haven't let myself up until this point. like i don't have to shove it All aside just because there's one thing i can't get -- I'd probably still wind up a lot happier if I took those other steps I've spent all these years ignoring