#I am handling it very very badly so I'm just trying to not have emotions in his direction

[dancingplague]

My father's platelet count is so low that he is apparently at risk for a symptom called "spontaneous bleeding" so he is being hospitalized

[uzurakis]

as a fellow nagumo lover, how about i request nagumo saving reader (who’s also an assassin) while she’s badly injured and teasing her as she recovers 🙃

your eyes flutter awake, and you're greeted by the sight of yoichi nagumo lounging in a chair by your bed, his feet propped up on the edge. those dark eyes light up the moment he sees you stir.

"well, look who's decided to join the land of the living~!" he exclaims, a wide grin spreading across his face. awhile ago, you slowly regain consciousness, the beeping of the hospital machines faintly registering in your ears. the body of yours feels heavy and sore, memories of the mission flooding back; remembering the ambush, the fight, and then the pain. but most of all, you remember nagumo’s face, his expression uncharacteristically serious as he saved you. and you don’t see that often, never, actually.

you try to speak, but your throat is dry, and all that comes out is a croak. nagumo jumps up, leaning over you with an exaggeratedly concerned expression.

"oh no! have you forgotten how to talk? i guess i'll just have to handle all the conversation from now on," he says, feigning a dramatic sigh.

you roll your eyes, managing to croak out, "water."

he grabs a cup of water from the table, but instead of handing it to you, he holds it just out of your reach. "first, you have to answer a riddle. what has four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening?"

"nagumo, seriously?" you rasp, your annoyance mingled with a slight, very tiny hint of amusement. man, i just woke up, you say in your head.

he only chuckles and finally gives you the water. "fine, i'll let you off this time. but only because you look like you’ve been through a meat grinder."

the cool liquid soothing your parched throat as you take a grateful sip. "thanks.. for the rescue," you manage to say.

nagumo waves his hand dismissively. "oh, don't mention it. just another day in the life of your favorite assassin."

don't mention it, he says with a casual wave of his hand, his trademark grin firmly in place. but beneath that easygoing facade, he's a whirlwind of emotions. the memory of finding you bleeding and unresponsive still haunts him, a gnawing fear that he might lose you forever. he can still feel the cold dread that settles in his stomach when you don't respond to his frantic calls, the way his heart pounds in his chest as he carries you to safety. every step is a desperate prayer that you'll hold on, that you'll survive. seeing you lying so still, so vulnerable, shakes him to his core. regardless of his lighthearted demeanour, he can't shake the residual anxiety of nearly losing you, the concern that one day his abilities may be worthless to keep you safe.

"favorite, huh?" you tease, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the pain.

"absolutely," he says, winking. "and you know, you gave us quite a scare. i mean, i had to carry you all the way back here. do you have any idea how heavy you are?"

you glare at him playfully. "maybe if you weren't so scrawny, it wouldn't have been a problem."

the guy laughs, the sound infectious. "touché. but really, you had us all worried. even sakamoto looked like he might actually break a sweat."

"i'm sorry," you say softly, feeling a pang of guilt for the trouble you caused. “i really thought it could handle them by myself. sorry..”

nagumo's expression softens for a moment, his usual levity giving way to genuine concern. "hey, don't apologize. i've got your back, and you've got mine. besides, it’s not like i’d let anything happen to my favorite partner, riiight? why are you looking at me like that?”

before you can respond, he suddenly leans in close, a mischievous glint in black pupils. "oh, by the way, did i tell you? i told the nurses you’re afraid of needles. so they might have a surprise for you when they come to change your IV."

your eyes widen in horror, and he bursts out laughing at your reaction. "relax, i’m kidding. or am i? guess you’ll find out soon enough."

"you rascal," you mutter, shaking your head.

"you owe me a box of pocky sticks," he says with a grin, leaning back in his chair.

despite the pain and exhaustion, you can’t help but smile. "i guess i do."

he reaches over and gently squeezes your hand. "get some rest. i’ll be here when you wake up. and who knows, maybe i’ll have another riddle for you."

"great," you say sarcastically, if it’s not for your injuries, maybe you’ve already thrown a pillow at his face. though, you know you can always count on him to be there for you, pranks and all.

@uzurakis

[scoobydoodean]

i think even though cas was in there stealing the journal, i think he was trying to legitimately convince dean to come to his side, because he does it the Very next episode (although he doesnt seem to realize that hes being manipulative about it..im not trying to infantilize him i just remember him being confused/surprised when dean points out that crowley gave him the same line)

like i do think theres a bit of double think in how castiel acts and behaves and he doesnt seem to grasp the emotional consequences of his actions, especially in this season.

like he thinks hes saying "if you trust me (please trust me) i can get crowley to release lisa and ben, because you wont be a threat anymore to his plan"

but dean hears "if you want lisa and ben back, you'll have to fall in line"

thats not to say dean is wrong for hearing it like that, but castiel really seems to be struggling with communication because he did this all for dean (in his mind) and once it's all over everything will be fine, lucifer and michael will stay in their cage, and dean and lisa will be safe at home.

but at this point hes killed too many and hurt too many people to turn back so when dean pleads for him to back down hes hearing dean say "im fine with risking the apocalypse again, and i cant trust you to do a plan that you are certain will work" when dean is just worried about another eve slipping through

its just very delightfully complex (imho) i dont really have a conclusion

Cas definitely wanted Dean on his side. He didn't need to wake Dean up or have a conversation with him to get the journal. He chose to wake him up and have that conversation because he desperately wanted Dean not to think badly of him. It's just hilarious that at the same time, he was also like. There to steal shit. When he saw Dean sleeping on that couch, he just couldn't help himself. He wanted to talk to Dean.

Trying to get Dean on his side was important to Cas because he loves Dean and values their friendship, but it was also important to him because Cas had, to some extent, tied his self-image to everyone else's perception of him over the whole season. He lies to all of his friends—Sam, Dean, Bobby, Balthazar, Rachel. He lies to the Winchesters because he wants a place he can come to where someone still recognizes him as the person he used to be and not the person he is becoming. Crowley puts this best:

CROWLEY: The big lie -- the Winchesters still buy it. The good Cas, the righteous Cas. And long as they still believe it, you get to believe it. Well, I got news for you, kitten. A whore is a whore is a whore.

This is a period where Cas was doubting everything and wrestling with moral quandaries. He sees his own actions as monstrous, but also believes that monstrosity is necessary. He and Dean have a conversation about this very early on in 6.06, after their last interaction in 6.03 had Cas causing a child excruciating pain to gain information.

DEAN What happened to you, Cas? You used to be human, or at least like one. CASTIEL I'm at war. Certain... regrettable things are now required of me.

I've talked about how the title of this episode, "You Can't Handle The Truth", shows Cas's hand in that he doesn't believe anybody else can handle the dirty work. He knows it makes him look bad and that's why he lies about it—to protect his image.

The whole of 6.20, he's struggling, but he's doing it alone. To his friends, he presents his actions with surety—telling Dean insistently that Cas knows what he's doing and that there's nothing broken about his plan, while he says privately praying to his father:

Am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right path? You have to tell me. You have to give me…A sign. Give me a sign. Because if you don’t…I’m gonna ju– I’m gonna do whatever I�� Whatever I must.

And to himself about working with Crowley:

I asked myself, “what was I doing with this vermin?”

And while betraying Crowley briefly by killing demons Crowley sent after the Winchesters:

For a brief moment…I was me again.

Sam and Dean and Bobby's belief in Cas's goodness (that he was himself) was so important to Cas that he was spying on them all of 6.20 despite his alleged busy schedule just to check in and see what they were thinking about him. And when they did trust him again for that brief moment, he felt relief, but also knew it was all an illusion and felt shame and guilt about it:

Wonders never cease. They trusted me again. But it was just another lie. 

The same discomfort and shame seeps off Cas in 5.17 when Sam and Dean thank him for saving them, while Cas knows Astropos was only after them because of him, and that if they understood the full picture, their feelings about what he'd actually done to "save" them would be very very different. He knows he's receiving praise he doesn't deserve, so the esteem they place on him is hollow.

On the other hand, I do think Cas grasps the emotional consequences of his actions for the most part. That's why he lied the whole season—because he was afraid of the fallout among every single person he knew and even more as the lies stacked and stacked. He knew none of them would agree with what he was doing. But the consequences with Sam and Dean also extend a little deeper than Cas thought they would, and that's what wounds him the absolute most, I think. I don't think Cas expected Sam to question whether Cas intentionally left his soul in The Cage, or for Dean to question whether or not Cas was involved in the plot to kidnap Lisa and Ben in 6.21. He is genuinely and deeply wounded when his care for them is essentially questioned at the very foundation and it leaves him feeling betrayed in his own way.

The thing is, Cas's privately held doubts still do not match the picture he presents to the Winchesters even after he is exposed. Privately, Cas is starting to see the pride and hubris underlying some of his choices:

I wish I could say I was clean of pride at that moment…

I see now that I was prideful. And in all likelihood, I was a fool.

I see now that was arrogance…Hubris 

Privately, Cas reveals that his motives aren't as pure as he presents them to be:

I had no choice. I did it to protect the boys. Or to protect myself. I-I don’t know anymore.

Hiding…Lying…Sweeping away evidence. And my motives used to be so pure.

Crowley had a point, of course. My interest was conflicted. I still considered myself the Winchesters’ guardian.

But to the Winchesters? He says "I did it all for you" and "I did it to protect you. I did it to protect all of you" and "It's not broken". He doesn't let them see his doubts, because he might crumble under them—and because sunk cost fallacy and his own pride won't allow him to accept being questioned even by his closest friends. In other words, he continues to lie, and after the big reveal, Dean can see right through him.

CASTIEL: I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you. DEAN: Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me.

Cas's pride also comes out in this conversation at night in Bobby's house.

DEAN: I'm not gonna logic you, okay? I'm saying don't...Just 'cause. I'm asking you not to. That's it. Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family -- that you are like a brother to me. So, if I'm asking you not to do something...You got to trust me, man. CASTIEL: Or what?

Dean says he isn't going to logic Cas. Bobby and Sam and Dean already tried that earlier that day, Balthazar will also try later, and it doesn't register. Dean puts all of the technical arguments aside and is trying to say (coupled with his earlier assertions) "I know you think you have to do this, but all of us can see you're going off the deep end and even you know that deep down. Please trust us on this." But Cas's response is "Or what?" He turns it into a battle of wills, then adds, "You can't stop me. You're just a man", which is also a dogwhistle for Dean when dealing with angels, who repeatedly over the course of the show, have called him a monkey, a dog, a pet, and other things to express the idea that he is beneath them as a justification for using and hurting him. It immediately turns them against each other because Cas feels like Dean is basically calling him crazy and is offended by the idea that he doesn’t know what he’s doing (even though he has his own private doubts, because at this point his self-image hinges on turning out to be right). Dean is seeing the angelic sense of superiority come out—something he’s far more familiar with than he’d like to be—something common to the angels who have used and manipulated and threatened him and acted entitled to him… and coupled with all the questions about exactly how involved Cas was in using Dean to get alphas over the course of the season and how he knows Cas used him in “The French Mistake”? It doesn’t paint a pretty picture for Dean.

In addition to their profound bond, I think Dean saying, "Cas, we can fix this!" and Dean being Cas's defender the entirety of 6.20 is also why Cas comes to him at the end of the episode. Dean is the weak link in the chain at the time (that completely changes in the next episode when Lisa and Ben are kidnapped). But Dean is also so devastated about all the faith he had in Cas's honesty being crushed, and he's reliving the demon blood arc in some sense, and he's probably reevaluating what he felt when Cas used him in "The French Mistake" and what exactly was going on in "My Heart Will Go On" and how—when Crowley forced him and Sam into doing his bidding, Cas knew it and he let it happen—he let it happen because he wanted the alphas. Not only did Cas know Crowley was using them—he went to great lengths to cover up his involvement and keep them off Crowley's tail. Cas's speech in the following episode demanding Dean's trust again is not only ill-timed while Dean is worried sick about Lisa and Ben—it's full of lies and half truths and even a little shit slinging that Dean knows isn't fair and that is deeply reminiscent of Sam's speech full of falehoods about trust in 4.21.

On Cas's side, I think you're spot on about his lack of cognizance on how he comes across when he says:

CASTIEL: I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. Stand behind me, the one time I ask.

I don't think Cas meant to suggest that the first statement depends on the second one (we can judge as much when he heals Lisa at the end of the episode) but that's absolutely how it comes across.

[system-venting]

i don't know if you guys are still active or not, but if you are, i'm going insane right now and have nowhere else to go, so hi.

im losing my fucking mind. i'm splitting very badly and am in the middle of a BPD episode, so take everything I say with a grain of salt, but FUCK man.

our partner system got mad at us for making a friend. not even somebody we talk to necessarily, just a mutual. they *flipped* out on us and lost their minds, and are currently still flipping out on us as we speak, despite it having been over a day now.

i don't fucking get it. they have friends. why cant we have friends?? our relationship is already weird because we're minors with a three year age gap (us on the lower end of it, being 14). it's easy to make us uncomfortable because we have trauma and are paranoid we're being groomed and controlled, and they *know* of this paranoia and still do this kind of shit where they very blatantly try to control us.

ive brought this up with them, I told them it made us uncomfortable as soon as it happened and tried to communicate it, but they immediately shut us down and explained how we were somehow in the wrong for "waking them up to that." waking you up to WHAT?? I didn't give you any devastating news, I told you we MADE A FRIEND. CRAZY FUCKING CONCEPT, I KNOW.

i don't even know what to do with them at this point. I'm stuck comforting them after they threw us into an episode and trauma response. I honestly am just appalled that they're acting this way. this is something we've talked to them about a number of times and they continue to do it. gross.

We are still active- well one mod is, the other mod's system is going through smth so they can't handle the vent page. Anyhow-

We.. honestly understand that situation, and it is really difficult. We were lucky enough to get them to mostly listen, and when they started up again our protector was plain out like "nope. Bye. Goodbye. No more of this.". It's.. difficult to get out of, but I wish you the best, if anything you could try to break up but obviously I know its hard and isnt always on the table for most.

Also, Not to make it worse, but it might be grooming. Our system was groomed by someone three years older than us and they mainly would manipulate and gaslight or guilt trip, and honestly your situation reminds us of our own

Grooming by definition is:

"Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a person [typically young but can be any age] so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them. Children and young people who are groomed can be sexually abused, exploited or trafficked. Anybody can be a groomer, no matter their age, gender or race."

[moonfang256]

This is gonna be me during Deltarune's Chapter 3:

❤️ <( Going back to the rabbit hole, huh? I don't know what's going to happen, but I believe we need to play our cards carefully from now on.

…

Look, I don't really want to control you, not anymore, but even if I say "no" you wouldn't allow me to do that, right? You want me to control you because you and Ralsei need me to stay so I can do some stuff for you and your friends, am I correct?

❤️ <( You see, I'm a player who play videogames and you sadly became the main character from this game world, and the only being who can hold and handle my soul well.

❤️ <( Without me or if I die you die, and if someone else grabs me, well… I don't really know what's going to happen. Whoever does it will probably end up dead, so my existence in this place, something that you, Ralsei, and a certain someone watching us not gonna like.

❤️ <( If I've to be honest: I genuinely ended loving and caring too much about your world, your friends, even you mostly, and I don't want anyone to get hurt. That's why I'm willing to help and stay until everything is done. After this, I just want to go, and I'll probably never come back here again.

I'm sorry, it must have been really awful, isn't? You had to deal with so much stuff by yourself…

I won't bother you anymore with anything, so I'll try to make things easier for you. I'll respect your agency, but I'll also keep my distance to moderate things.

❤️ <( What do you want us to do now?

❤️ <( I won't stop you, but I just hope you know what are you doing. Also Ralsei, I know you're listening from afar. No need to pretend anymore, your cute charms don't work with me. *mischievous smirk* Good acting though, but I forgive you anyways.

❤️ <( You both put yourselves into a very horrible situation, I can tell, but I won't say more.

--------

Well, I admit I ended too immersed with the story and the characters. Heck, I even shared my feelings and thoughts through my dreams, my art, and even a little music, but I think it's time for me to step back for now before I get more obsessed and that won't do me any good.

Everything has a limit.

I still have a life to live, some things I need to figure out on my own, study and work, some other games I want to play (I'm even making a fangame of something else), etc.

Man, never a game has ever touched me this personally, messed with my mind and emotions so badly, and even made me vulnerable…

The positive side is: It helped me to be more open and even improve my drawings a little, so I guess it's okay.

[callmearcturus]

I find the idea of Benji having like 20 exgirlfriends, boyfriends, and personfriends; while Ethan has dated like 3 people in his entire life, to be hilarious, and now I'm going to integrate it into my headcanons for both of them.

I MEAN I tend to think that before the Prague Job, Ethan was an ethical slut, and it's implied he's having a threesome with Jack and Sarah. (I mean, I literally do not know how else to interpret that line, I have put on my Straight Person Goggles and that line does not make sense unless they are all three dating.) He's flirty and openly teases people.

Then the Prague Job goes fuckways, and Ethan's entire demeanor feels like a very sharp object that neither he nor anyone else knows how to handle. He def fucked Max in the back of that car (I feel like this is even implied by her later dialogue). But its not friendly and fun anymore, it's sharp and dangerous and almost his barricade Ethan is using for his own protection.

AND THEN THERE IS CLAIRE. Claire is trying her best to manipulate the shit out of Ethan, to keep his attention on her and her 'mourning' of Jim rather than the fact Jim is alive and both of them are toying with Ethan.

That extended sequence where Ethan and Jim are talking about "what happened in Prague" intercut with Ethan figuring out what actually happened in Prague-- there's a moment when Ethan pegs Claire as having killed some of the team, but he changes his mind and casts Jim in the role instead because... he doesn't want Claire to be part of this.

TAKE ALL THAT and marry it to the fact that Claire keeps initiating touch with Ethan, tries to get him to comfort her-- that scene with her sleeping on the floor and taking his hand to kiss it is tremendously fucked up.

(I once listened to a podcast that mentioned claire was kind of ethan's love interest and like WOW no. nope. that's not what's happening even a little.)

oh my god i'm rambling but WHAT I AM SAYING is that Ethan has immense trauma that is fueled by sexual manipulation and it honestly feels like it. Twink Ethan as an ethical slut had fun and didn't have to worry about this shit and was all about fair play. Then he has a brief stint as a bad boy that goes badly because robert towne can't write a movie. Then the next we see him he's GETTING MARRIED and leaving the game.

This post is already too long so lets continue. MI3 is fascinating because it's the one I hate the most but Julia and Ethan are tremendous, and the work put into humanizing him is amazing. He's enjoying playing as a doting husband (and 'playing' is inaccurate, he's not lying) and it actively trying to carve himself out of the IMF while multiple people (INCLUDING HIS BEST FRIEND LUTHER) undermine him.

But he still tries, and he leaves, and he's out.

And it all goes to shit. Which is this tremendous tragedy of Ethan Hunt frankly. He put in the work and-- you know the phrase "he's got skin in the game"? Well Ethan had a lot of skin in the game and he let it flay him on his way out just for a chance to actually be out.

GP Ethan is a wildly changed man, but in a way that honestly makes perfect sense to me. The trajectory of his character by design or by accident is an easily tracked arc. (I think McQuarrie gets me on this, or I get him, either or.)

After GP, there is simultaneously an emotional honesty to Ethan... but there's a physical distance. He's older, he's wiser, he's tired, and he's not dragging Benji or Ilsa into a pharmacy closet to have sex. That's not him anymore. But also, there is more raw emotion to everything he does. He feels like he's always on the back foot.

(He comes across as incredibly asexual to me honestly.)

Compared Twink Ethan flirting his way through MI1 to Fallout Ethan getting kissed by the White Widow and having ZERO reaction.

/clutches Ethan to my chest. i love this tired old man.

MEANWHILE: Benji is hot and has a hot bossy streak and has amazing fashion sense. He can get it, he just can't keep it because when Ethan has a job, so does Benji, sooooo yep. lmao.

[fatuismooches]

ITS 💌 ANON!! as per usual i come to you with a headcanon at ungodly hours of the night in my time. i’ve been playing too much honkai star rail…BUT!! fluff and angst combo again 🏃 ure the best :(( pls don’t follow my example and get proper rest !! thanks for always being cool hehe

Dottore making a medicine that actually does work!! you can move around like normal, no longer as tired, and ofcourse- Dottore is thrilled. He’s done it, he kisses them and he takes reader everywhere, every single place he wanted to- he checked everything, they were fine…until suddenly, they fainted and he basically finds out that the medicine could only make everything good for a short amount of time before putting reader in the most excruciating pain possible after, so sadly, zandik curses himself and gets back to work :(( he dosent care about the sacrifices, he dosent care what he has to give and what gets taken away as long as you don’t. He’s a committed man and he’s committed for until after life. Literally will reincarnate with you if he can because he will *not* let go.

TO THE FLUFF THOUGH! zandik taking atleast 1 hour everyday to do something that you like because he realizes that you miss him (and he misses you too). At first he was wary because he wanted to ensure that he could get you cured as soon as possible, but he couldn’t handle it if you were all sad and gloomy either. He didn’t want you to think of yourself as a burden and god forbid, you try to leave again (referring to that one ask where reader leaves bc they feel like a burden,, in feel like he’s be so damn scared…even if he won’t admit it). So reading you a book? sure, just be prepared for many side comments if it’s some cheesy romance novel or him reading a textbook. Drawing? hell, he’ll draw an anatomical heart with you holding it! Cuddling? he’ll wrap you up in his fluffy coat and hug you as much as you want.

- 💌 anon

AWW ILYY 💌 ANON!! Hehe I am trying my best to go to sleep earlier... it's a work in progress. Also i feel you on the HSR brainrot but I'm TBL 57, have no good artifacts since I haven't farmed, and stuck on the deer boss fight 💀 i gotta get on the grind soon 😫🫠 But you better get proper rest too!!! Or else- 💖💖

NOOO THE FLUFF GETS IMMEDIATELY WIPED AWAY TO ANGST- I can't imagine the sheer happiness you two would feel. Reader, of course, would be absolutely elated and very plainly show how delighted they are. You're running, hopping, Dottore even twirls you around and you do a pretty little spin as you fall back into his arms. You're so happy, you haven't smiled or laughed this much in ages. Dottore, as usual, doesn't show nearly as much emotion as you, but don't let that fool you. Internally, he's feeling something he has never felt before, so foreign that normally he'd be trying to get rid of it but this time he knows exactly why he's having this feeling. Thrilled, excited, proud, enthusiastic, words that could not even begin to fully describe this feeling. Centuries of work finally paid off, never to have to be repeated again. To see you so purely happy, makes him look forward to things going back to how they once were. Oh, how much fun you'd have joining him as his assistant again. The whole atmosphere and feelings of the clones in the lab are in sync for once.

Except... it all comes crashing down. Literally. When you collapse in his arms with ragged breaths, skin searing to the touch, actual tears begin to form from how badly it hurts. Immediately the mood from early deflates as he rushes to get you back to normal and ease your suffering </3 To have something he desires right in his hands, just to be snatched away from him with no warning is something he's never experienced before. He is a scholar, possibly one of the most intelligent beings in Teyvat. Such a thing shouldn't have happened to him. But it did, and he has to start over. He probably killed some people to blow off steam. No remorse. Just anger.

Sigh sigh I LOVE THIS SM. Normally, he'd scoff if it was any other activity. Especially when it's boring meetings. A whole hour? For nonsense? He finds it meaningless. His 24 hours are spent doing important things. Important things being research, experiments, notes... and you, of course. You're right, when Dottore has a goal or something he wants to reach, he just throws himself into it. No breaks, nothing, he just wants to make progress, progress, progress. Especially when it's you on the line. He'll refuse any and all contact. But he's come to realize your state deteriorates even more if your needs are not met by him. Not to mention the clones are sending messages to each other internally about how sad you are, which he decides he overhears way too frequently </3 So he knows he has to put a stop into it. (And yes, that ask was sad as hell, I still think about it 😭🥺)

Love how we agree he's a pro at drawing anatomical stuff hehe. You cut out the hearts he draws and put them on your walls or something ;( And also AHHHH THE FLUFFY COAT CUDDLING... No words can describe how much I love that scenario. It's so cute to think about both of you wearing it at the same time... you're on his lap, he's wearing the coat but it's swallowing your whole body up anyway since it's wrapped around, the fluff tickling your face!! <3 The book is in your hand, you both take turns reading it but Dottore interrupts whenever something dumb is said or done. Oh.. but you end up falling asleep since his voice is so relaxing and his chest is so comfy..

Ughhh eternal lovers with Dottore is hitting me right now ;( Especially when you talked about his commitment... hell yes this crazy doctor will not bat an eye at anyone else besides you it doesn't matter how long it's been. For you he has no limits. He always be intrigued and into this person who managed to worm their way into his cruel cold heart...

[esther-dot]

If good chunks of people are refusing to see Dark Dany even after reading books and watching show, could it be grrm fault somewhere? I am not saying that he is a bad writer or Dany is a badly written character. But sometime I wonder that writing could be better. Especially related to handling of POCs in her arc and her unnecessary sexualisation. She was the one character whose show character was close to book according to author.

I don’t think he’s playing games with the audience the way D&D did. People often say the show just needed more seasons, but I think the problem was, D&D wanted Dany to be a heroine in the audience’s eyes until the moment she burned KL, so their choice there, to essentially force-perspective things by excluding dark moments from the books re-writing Tyrion, Jon, even Davos once they came onto the screen with her, that makes them “responsible” for the audience not getting Dark Dany in a way Martin is not.

If, say, they had left in Dany’s command to kill everyone wearing a tokar, and we had witnessed teenagers being slaughtered at her bidding, I think the audience would have realized the story we were watching. Or, maybe if Davos who had just lost a little girl he adored to a fire obsessed woman had cautioned Jon, or if D&D had Jon admit his fears to Sansa... There are so many things D&D could have done that would have permitted the audience to draw their own conclusions as characters responded to Dany in a more believable way, but D&D didn’t want to give away the twist. I don’t think Martin is doing that.

What he is doing is expecting readers to engage with the emotional world of characters while simultaneously exerting some judgment about larger ethical ideas. I believe agentrouka-blog has written on this. Martin is dedicated to the reader doing the work and not compromising his artistic standards, we all come to different conclusions about what his moral framework is, hence all the contradictory spec. Because of how he's written ASOIAF, and since it is so much more demanding than one might expect from genre fiction, I can't really blame the casual reader for not coming to firm conclusions about what his view is/how it all will end. It can be difficult when reading something to tell what's merely being presented to us, and what the author is endorsing (two different things!) when we don't have the end of the story.

Do I blame Martin? Well...I certainly can't criticize him for not being didactic, no one wants to read that nowawdays, but when you try to be a hands-off writer, to show not tell, all sorts of different interpretations are gonna happen. As I've tried to improve my own writing and make it more immersive, I've gotten readers upset with me as if *I* am saying something about Sansa or Jon, and I had to clarify, well, that's how they see the situation, that's how they feel, that isn't the reality of the situation, and it isn't what *I* am telling the reader to think. Now, I am not a subtle writer, and Martin is far more sly than most, and yet in my very limited experience, you can be pretty dedicated to undercutting a character's version of reality to communicate something more to a reader, and they can still miss it. If good writing is showing, if respecting your audience is assuming they'll intellectually engage rather than immediately react, I'm not sure if you can fault him for people not picking up on Dark Dany. He's trying to write literature, not spoon food people. (This of course, is with the understanding he won't pull a D&D and destroy other characters to keep the burning of KL /Dany's final descent into darkness a surprise).

Something I have lamented are his blog posts assuring people how different his books will be from the show when he has to know, the vast majority of the fans are upset about Dany's ending, are taking his words to be about Dany. He isn't being dishonest--the journey to his ending will be quite different, he does have characters that weren't in the show etc, but I think we all know how misled people will feel when we get TWOW. Still not technically his fault tho! And I should note, he did make it clear how awful slavery is in his fictional world right at the beginning of AGOT, and then he had Dany witness the slavery and rape and death that happens as a result of a war campaign and then had her use forced labor and profit off of the slave trade. It isn't his fault people have chosen to defend it and convince themselves that we aren't meant to judge her. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It also isn't his fault that some of the smart fans, the dedicated fans, know Dany will burn KL, but still theorize that she is a hero who will die saving the world...ya know, after she commits mass slaughter. It isn't his fault the ASOIAF "experts" assure people Dany murdering countless civilians isn't her downfall, and is instead, a speedbump. This is the peril of mature writing, of trying to elevate the genre. You give your audience space and they may run in a…surprising direction. If he ever finishes, it will a wonderful pay-off, even if it is a headache for us Dark Dany fans. Even so, I know why other fans don't see Dark Dany. Literature is an emotional experience as well as an intellectual one. I read some of the posts about what Dany meant to abuse survivors after s8 and even though it didn’t change my mind about who she was/the fact that she had to be stopped, it did make me realize why people couldn’t fathom that she was always intended for such a fate.

I agree that Martin has issues with his writing, how he's handled POC in his world, how he has sexualized Dany in the text and how he has spoken of her in interviews…that’s on him. I do think you're onto something that if he had done more to flesh out the characters that surround Dany, people would have been clued into where it was all going. Maybe that's his thought process, if you aren't enamored with Dany, if you think of the people who suffer in order for her rise..we might be less lost in her struggle, less caught up in the moment, and perhaps he doesn't intend the reader to fully grasp it all just yet. However, I don’t think hiding Dark Dany is why she is overlysexualized or why he wrote the Dothraki the way he did. I attribute that more to the norms of the era he grew up in/the problems with the works that he was formed by.

[whentherewerebicycles]

mmkay i'm almost done with ina may's guide to childbirth, which i thought i wasn't gonna read bc too crunchy for me... but it turns out i am a little bit susceptible to crunchy content lol. i want to do some THINKING ALOUD about BIRTH under the cut.

after doing lots of reading (not just this book lol) i think i want to try for an unmedicated birth with minimal interventions. "try" being the key word because i also want to keep things very flexible and be able to respond to what i'm feeling in the moment. it seems like one of the surest ways to be disappointed or lightly traumatized by your birth experience is to go in with a rigid or overly idealized plan and then feel blindsided when things go sideways and you have to suddenly deviate from the version of birth you'd been really invested in. i am totally willing to get an epidural if i find contractions unbearable or to have an emergency c-section if it becomes medically necessary or to be induced if i am way overdue. but i also feel like... idk. i am not someone who takes a lot of pride in my Ability to Weather Pain or anything and i don't want to try unmedicated birth as way of Proving Something to myself or others. but i feel like, if i look into my heart, i kind of want to see what that experience is like and i want to see if i can use these different kinds of tools to reframe my understanding of what's happening to me in a way that feels empowering instead of "oh my god the worst thing imaginable is being inflicted upon me."

i have some complicated feelings i want to untangle around this, but i think the core of it is that my pregnancy loss and surgery last summer really fucked with my head, and a big reason was because the process was so intensely medicalized, felt so out of my control, and was handled with a painful lack of sensitivity by several of the medical providers i interacted with. that experience would've been shitty enough on its own, but it also happened to come at the end of a highly medicalized conception process where i spent months having my body obsessively monitored and scanned and tested, and where i spent a ton of time stuck in a pretty dark place in my head feeling like my body was fucked up in some way and incapable of doing this thing i wanted it to do so badly. idk man it really messed with my head. and then when i got pregnant again, the first trimester was just this terrible haze of bloodwork and transvaginal ultrasounds and intense surges of dread/anxiety every time i had to go in for a new test or scan. i know that some of that was necessary! the IUI process was necessary, the surgery was necessary, the monitoring to make sure i didn't have another ectopic was necessary. but now i am 34 weeks into a healthy, low-risk pregnancy and i don't think there is any reason to believe that birth must be a highly medicalized experience for me. i feel this tentative but real desire to give my body a chance to at least try this thing that it may only get to do once. i also feel keenly interested in the emotional and intellectual work of preparing my mind/body for birth. i want to understand in detail what's going to happen to my body and i want to approach the experience itself from a place of curiosity rather than fear. i want to practice ways of reframing birth as a process that animals' bodies naturally know how to do rather than a pathological condition that needs to be intensely monitored and managed. i want to experiment with different tools for calming my body/mind. i also know that i want to be able to move around for the entire labor process! for some reason this is the thing i feel most absolutely sure about... like i'm MUCH iffier on the whole experiencing intense pain thing lol but i'm absolutely sure that i want to be able to change position, walk around, move, etc., for as long as possible.

i also feel like my SIL's experience was a little bit illuminating for me. she was SO terrified of giving birth, like crying and having panic attacks about it for weeks leading up to the event, and ended up having just about every medical intervention you can have short of an emergency c-section. all of those things were meant to ease her anxiety/make labor simpler and faster, but instead they just resulted in a really long, scary, kinda traumatic birth experience that really freaked me out. so like, idk, i may have to have the exact same cascade of interventions she did! i can't predict how it's going to go or how i'm going to feel. but i think that maybe just doing the work of preparing for an unmedicated birth will stand me in good stead even if i choose or am required to go a different direction. like i think if i can really do the work of understanding what's going to happen and respecting the intensity of that experience without fearing it, i will probably feel better about whatever happens even if i do decide to get an epidural or discover i have to have a c-section. idk if i've articulated that well but it's like... part of what was so traumatic about the pregnancy loss was just like, feeling like i had no options, no time to think about it, and no possible positive outcome, and also feeling very afraid and grief-stricken and overwhelmed by how fast everything happened. and in that case i really did not have that many options - like it was always going to end sadly and it was probably always going to end in surgery. but now i am facing a different situation where there are a whole range of positive outcomes before me and also a number of meaningful choices that i get to make for myself. and i want to make them. i want to choose to try one thing, and then if things change i want to choose to try something else, and i want to feel like i understand all the choices available to me and am making a decision for myself instead of wholly handing it over over to the doctors. idk. lots more to think about but! i think one good thing is that i was feeling quite scared of birth before doing all this reading, partly because my SIL's labor was kinda scary/intense to hear about from the outside, and now i am feeling quite excited about having this human experience because i have a better understanding of what the process actually entails and what i can do to manage my emotions around it. i think it will be uhh not Fun lol, but i think it will be meaningful and i am deeply curious about what it will be like to go through it. so! so.

(also fundamentally i just get to have my own ideas about what i want to try!!! i get to try something even if other people are like wow i would never make that choice. the things i am curious about do not have to be things anyone else is interested in or curious about!!)

[5ivebyfive]

re: q's after reading chapter 12

can u talk a bit about that scene with kim showing up to trini's apartment? i mean, it's of course pretty evident (kissing slowly, asking to be held...), but i would love to hear your thoughts/process. tia!

Hmmm. I'm thinking about what I can say without revealing too much of what you're supposed to find out later...but I am happy to talk about this scene because it's my favorite in the chapter.

So up until this point, Kim has been...well a huge bitch about everything. Somewhat justified...just..not in how she handles it. But she's angry, and she's hurt, and she doesn't know how to deal with those feelings. She doesn't know how to deal with them in a way that isn't so obnoxious. She's like a child really. Kids aren't great at regulating their emotions. They have to learn to do that. Kim never learned. So anyway. Moving to that night.

Kim, despite how she handled it and reacted to it, was betrayed. It's fair to say. Trini kept this from her for months all while trying to build Kim's trust in her. All Kim knows is that she doesn't know how to trust. Trini said trust me, trust me, trust me...and in the end it was a lie. So she felt like the rug was pulled out from beneath her. And her way of dealing with that is anger and rage and blame. Recklessly.

But even she runs out of energy. When she showed up at Trini's apartment, she was at the bottom of all of those feelings. The rage was gone. She's been pushed aside her whole life. In her eyes, everyone abandons her. They don't stay. She loses them. Now she's lost Trini, and she doesn't know how to handle it. And they are so drawn to each other in every way. They can't be apart even when they are mad at each other.

Kim said Trini was her best friend, and that's true. And Kim has never had a best friend. She doesn't know what to do when she needs her best friend, but it's the same person that betrayed her. So she goes to Trini anyway.

Kim has deep, hard feelings that she hides really well. Feelings she can't understand or put into words. She knows she feels better around Trini. And she wants to feel better. She wants to forget. But she's still so hurt and angry. So for Kim, going to Trini isn't about getting laid. She needs comfort. She can't ask for it. She can't go to anyone else for it. So she finds her best friend. She kisses Trini the way she does, because, even though she doesn't realize it, it anchors her. And she needs an anchor badly.

She doesn't want to talk or argue, she definitely doesn't want sex. She wants closeness. So she asks Trini if they can sleep. She isn't going to say she needs to be held, ever. But she asks in her own way. And Trini can't deny Kim anything, so she does.

But, remember, Kim is very drunk. She would have never done any of this sober. So when she wakes up and she's in Trini's bed, in Trini's arms, she's sober and...well, thoughts I can't reveal yet, and she leaves. She can't bear to acknowledge any of it with Trini.

There is so much to learn about Kim still, and the way her mind and feelings work. Hopefully I didn't give too much away, but despite Kim's outrageous personality, she has feelings too. And a lot has to happen for her to be able to understand them.

[skrunksthatwunk]

ok the last post i reblogged sent me on a minedai spiral and i wrote a massive textpost i didn't actually finish and watched like 30 mins of cutscenes including the whole finale rooftop stuff [yakuza 3 spoilers to follow] and god WHAT THE FUCK I'm actually crying like multiple consecutive tears over fucking. MINE YOSHITAKA. not that he's not worth it but i Did Not Care That Much when i first saw that scene but after spiralling over his emotions i am apparently DEVASTATED. cannot stress enough that i do not cry very often at all. this is a rare event. but it's just so fucking sad. when you know what's happening and what's going to happen and how mine feels the atmosphere is so fucking miserable and mournful. god. fuck. the way he looks at kiryu when he's like what are you going to do to daigo you bastard. THE GUILT THE HESITATION. HE'S NOT WELL. the love of his LIFE got hurt under his protection and he is NOT HANDLING IT WELL HE'S HANDLING IT SO FUCKING BADLY that he's decided to kill him because he's basically dead and he can't stand waiting for the other shoe to drop. he's losing his mind over this he's actually losing his entire purpose and ideology and he's fucking. gay as hell. and the way he says "oh yeah you know how it was growing up as an orphan. no one trusted or loved me. i had nothing" when, frankly, kiryu DIDNT have it that bad. but he did lose those people, one of whom's death has a striking resemblance to mine's in a minute. idek how i wanna unpack that rn. like he just assumes it's universal and it's not. but if they grew up in the same circumstances who's to say kiryu wouldn't have ended up like him? and when he collapses after the fight and his secretary calls him and he tries to open up to her about the shallow but meaningful (to lonely ass mine) relationship they have and she starts talking about stock exchange bs and he's like kiryu do you ever feel like your world is falling apart around you. he's been worried sick he's been agonizing he almost killed his dead beloved chairman. and the way daigo uses the same gun mine used to shoot at kiryu and was gonna use to kill him to save mine and kiryu. how his first lines are that he's not ready to die yet. how mine cowers and falls to his knees when daigo wakes up. fuckkk dude. and how mine starts all rational and explanatory and calm in tone and when kiryu starts pressing him he starts freaking the fuck out and when daigo wakes up he finally has a mournful tone. him saying he doesn't deserve to live but not admitting he betrayed daigo. he never even told him he loved him, as far as we know. (god the fact that it still manages to be devastating even with richardson's CHOICE acting and daigo's coma trickshot is insane.) and how he tells kiryu he hates those who always try to help others even when that's the trait that drew him to daigo, and when he lets kiryu help him (read: beat a moral into him) he wishes he'd met him sooner, as if the belief that there wasn't only one person who could care about him would have saved him has set in, as if he realizes now that he never accepted help and that's why he was wrong about those do-gooders, and that perhaps he was wrong about them and himself, that it wasn't because they were lying to him or because he was unlikable, but that he did not let them in. because that's literally what's happening. AND I FUCKING. FORGOT DAIGO ASKS KIRYU IF MINE WAS THE TRAITOR AFTER HE WATCHES HIM FUCKING KILL HIMSELF AND KIRYU SAYS NO HE WOULD NEVER BETRAY YOU. HE LIES TO COVER HIS ASS BECAUSE HE UNDERSTANDS HOW BROKEN HE WAS ABOUT THIS AND CANT BEAR TO RUIN HIS IMAGE IN THE EYES OF THE ONE PERSON MINE REALLY CARED ABOUT, REALLY LOVED. FUCKS SAKE.

[isolde-illustrates]

AU/Headcanon idk that Brant is an Orphan

Technically, all we know about Brant's family is that their last name is protected, they did not want to help him after the fire, and had to have some type of ability related to pyrokinesis, but not closely related to an actual revealed pyrokinetic otherwise Brant would not have been allowed at Foxfire. Technically, his parents could be dead, so we're going with that.

This is at some point during one of Marella's lessons, before the canon conversation in the bonus scene of Stellarlune.

Marella did not expect Fintan to applaud, but he could have at least smiled when she told him that she figured out how to make a flame as small as a lushberry grow into the size of a thinking cap and back in seven seconds.

"What's with the persistent pout? You've finally achieved one of the basic levels of control that an eleven year old would learn in a week," Fintan told her, mumbling something more about the "dumbing down of the youth." Marella watch him pace in the little space of his ice prison before he came back to face her and the uncomfortable chair she sat in. "You need to begin another technique, one that focuses on breathing exercises and lighting and extinguishing fires without being able to see them. Have your Hydrokinetic blindfold you, then practice your regular forms. Come back when you get the total run time to four seconds."

Marella rolled her eyes, her freshly dyed hair falling to the front as she leaned forward to glare at Fintan. "I don't need any more breathing exercises, and I certainly am not going to lose control of my fire in this frigid place. I'm not you."

She immediately regretted mentioning the accident, because Fintan came so close to the glass that Marella flinched. "Don't."

"Why not? Every other Pyrokinetic that's been around you died, either because of their ability or external factors, but they all had one thing in common: you. You probably convinced them to go call down Everblaze, and you dragged Brant into it. I can't go to school and learn from a regular mentor because of you."

"You. Know. Nothing," Fintan responded, his hot breath fogging up the ice. He was not at the yelling stage yet, but his tone had already gotten hostile enough that Marella knew that she was about to endure one of his tantrums again.

"You know what?" the girl said, putting her gloved hands on the armrests, "I don't have time for this." She gathered her cloak closer to herself, trying to find that pocket of warmth she was learning to keep inside her. "Besides, the only thing your schedule is packed with is ice."

Marella stood up just as Fintan whispered, "Wait."

His image flicked away, and Marella was left in silence. She could just leave, do the very thing he normally asked her to, but the sound of a plea in his voice was so unnerving that Marella wanted to know what it was for immediately. She doubted it was for an official apology for the Lost Cities' finest screw up, but Marella reminded herself that she was strong. She could listen to what he said without betraying her emotions and caving. Line was just a long staircase away if she needed her. Marella could handle a conversation with a frail old guy.

She chose to sit in another one of the ice chairs, one closer to the exit, to show that she had the power in the conversation, not him. Fintan would have to walk over to her if he wanted Marella stay.

As Fintan flashed into view, Marella crossed her leg over her knee; however, when she saw that he had already been standing right in front of her, Marella's leg fell to her ankle. He always seemed to do that. It was like he knew exactly where she stood even with the opaque ice wall. Marella swallowed, preparing to ask him what he wanted to say so badly.

Instead, Fintan freely gave the information. He loved so much to talk. Marella observed that he would talk about anything, except what really mattered. That always came with a price. "You want so badly for me to bend over and apologize for all that I have done to hinder the lives of Pyrokinetics. You want me to say that I regret everything I helped with the leader of the Neverseen—"

"You were just one of them," Marella mumbled, "You people can't keep control of your hierarchy."

Fintan narrowed his eyes. "As the best leader," he corrected, "of the Neverseen. While I do say yes," he told her, bowing forward, "and accept that role completely, I cannot apologize for the good that I have done for all pyrokinetics, especially your generation."

Glancing at the exit, Marella wondered just how much of a mistake she made not walking through it.

"I have always done the best for my people, and you will eventually realize that." Fintan walked away from Marella in the opposite direction of the exit. Reluctantly, she followed, noticing that Fintan waited until she had sat in her regular freezing chair before he opened his mouth again. "You're wrong about Brant. I have done nothing but the best for him."

Fintan sat down on the icy floor, which Marella imagined was even colder than what she was sitting in. "He was doomed to have a hard life. Teaching him how to use his ability was the best thing I could do for him."

"He killed his fiancé in a fire," Marella reminded Fintan, "I don't think that counts as a 'best thing.'"

Fintan rolled his eyes, tucking a piece of hair behind left ear. It had just grown long enough that it did not fall back into the middle of his face. Combined with his softer features, the Neverseen member looked more like a girl Marella would gossip with during Ability Detecting than an evil monster. The longer these lessons continued, the more Marella had to remind herself of the murderer behind her mentor. She could not afford the cost of seeing him like a normal person when he was anything but that.

"Brant had a... complicated childhood. His parents were much older than most parents his generation, and consequently, he had little interaction with children his age, or even other children at all. They were very reserved people." Fintan sighed, lowering his head. "He was ten when his parents died in a fire. I'm sure you can figure out how. He awoke in a bed surrounded by ashes. Medics found him in the rubble, called him a miracle. It took a few years with no detected ability for me to realize that he was a Pyrokinetic."

Marella avoided Fintan's eyes as she added a few more braids to her hair. She never was told the last name of the other Pyrokinetic who was closest in age to her, but hearing that he killed his parents when he manifested the same way Marella did was too much. "I get it; you're trying to prove your point that you're better than what I said. I shouldn't have mentioned that."

Marella uncrossed her legs. "I really should be going and starting on my practice."

"A family volunteered to foster the unfortunate child," Fintan continued, ignoring Marella entirely. She was not sure he even remembered that she was there as he muttered, "I should have said something to Bronte. I should have told him that the kid needed to be put with an empath, someone who could help him through it." Fintan's gave looked helped as he began to argue with himself that "then the parents fotos have found out" but that it would have been better than keeping Brant where he was."

"What's your point?" Marella had to finally ask, voice firm, but nor harsh.

Fintan looked up, surprised, as if he really had forgotten that she was there, but then he told her, "They didn't care about him. The moment he didn't show signs of some special ability during Ability Detecting, those nobles practically disowned him. They had never adopted Brant in the first place, but after that, they treated the kid like garbage." Fintan grinned, scooting even closer to the ice wall. "It really is a shame they died in that city fire."

Marella gasped, putting her hand over her mouth. She knew that the fire when Fintan escaped extended beyond that tower, but no one other former Councillor Kenric were really mentioned after the fact. His Planting was by far the most attended. The others were completely forgotten by the Lost Cities. "Thanks for another reminder of who I'm working with," Marella muttered under her breath.

Fintan shrugged. "They deserved it. They completely abandoned him after the accident that left him scarred."

Marella was tempted to ask which one because the guy seemed to be pretty messed up both mentally and physically, but decided against starting a fight with Fintan.

After a while of Fintan being quiet, Marella wondered, "So that's it? That's what you wanted to stop my training time for?"

Fintan stood up. "That's part of it," he commented, "but there's another part." He motioned for her to come closer. Marella leaned as far forward as she could, wondering why she was even listening to him. "You wanted to know why I act the way I do." This time, he got so close to the wall that his lips touched the ice. "Your ancestors were part of the five."

Marella raised her eyebrows, eyes opening wider.

"Yes, that's where your ability comes from. And Brant's. That's why I care so much about you practicing the basics." He turned away from her. "Now, get out of here and go practice."

[kitkatopinions]

New rwby ep dropped V9 ep6, my thoughts, praise, and criticisms (as well as obvious spoilers) beneath the keep reading.

Praise:

I'll give it to rwby, the twist that Alyx had a brother was not expected! I'm proud of them, actually, the two falling lights and the guy in the portrait, and even the footprints in the sand, that was all well done foreshadowing! Good on them.

The blink and you'll miss it reflection of Summer in the water is well done, not a lot of attention drawn to it.

Might hate that Jaune is here, but his line delivery of things like "I was the Rusted Knight" is well done too. Perfectly captures Jaune having wanted to be that, it captured his old feelings of pride that he must've felt, while obviously still bittersweet.

The thing is that I'm half-convinced that Jaune is going to be a secret accidental antagonist, and that his story about Alyx is him being an unreliable narrator, and if that's the case then to me the scene where he talks about Alyx seems - as of right now - pretty good!

The animators are once again knocking themselves out of the park on Blake's facial expressions.

I've already said it in another post, but it deserves repeating that after ten years, rwby confirmed main characters as queer. No matter how it's done (and I talk about my problems with it below) and how badly it's been handled before, it's a point blank period good thing and every bit of rep we see on screen helps normalize it and encourage it as expected for future media.

Again, I have very little praise.... Um, the sound effects remained good? That's all I've got tbh.

Criticism:

Me seeing even a moment of Jaune's POV going through a similar thing to Ruby in the beginning of ep1 was a curse. I am sincerely starting to hate him, and that's such a sad thing because I'm one of the few rwby critics who ever liked him at all (mostly as a concept, he's been used so badly,) but I just get so sick of seeing him and now me at Jaune is like:

Honestly they really just wanted Jaune to get a time-skip and be super old but needed an excuse for why the same thing didn't happen to Team RWBY so they went with special time fruit that he picked that sent Jaune back in time in the Ever After and created himself as the rusted knight he knew from the story in a time-loop worthy of Doctor Who. But I think it's stupid as hell. Sure Jaune jus yank a clock-fruit off of a clock-tree, that sounds like a good idea. /s Sure writers, just make a clock-tree that sends Jaune back in time, that sounds like a good idea. /s

Little is still an annoying intrusion.

Weiss being into Jaune is a bad choice.

I know it's hard for these writers because Jaune fans make up like fifty percent of their most loyal fans (the other fifty are bees shippers,) but if they could stop trying to convince us that Jaune is hot that would be great. Especially because let's not forget that Jaune was a total nice guy to Weiss, bothering her when she'd made it very clear she wasn't interested and I know 'times change' or whatever but it's a bad look to have her thirsting after him now and again it's just gonna feed the more misogynistic Jaune fans.

They cut away from Jaune actually telling Team RWBY what happened of course. Why would the audience want to see characters react to things when we can just understand they had emotions off screen? /s This is just like Yang's story about landing in the Ever After, we just brush it aside, but it makes the emotions so shallow and lacking.

Ruby: "We lost Atlas and the Relic." Blake: "But we got everyone out safely." NOOOoooooo babygirl, you did not do that. Not only were tons of soldiers sacrificed to try and hold her back, but Cinder attacked citizens on that bridge and apparently they were dead in the explosion, and also the Mantle and Atlas citizens were tossed into the middle of a sandstorm and got attacked by Grimm and that last one might not something the girls know, but they know the rest and nobody protests that Blake and Jaune both just think everyone is safe? This is especially weird to me considering that they don't know that Qrow, Robyn, Maria, and Pietro are safe (and they might not be!) And Penny is literally fucking dead. Like no, you guys are just delusional tbh and at this point I legit feel like the writers are trying to manipulate their fans into thinking that what they watched wasn't actually what they watched.

Ruby: "What good is saving anybody if Salem just destroys the world anyway?" Yang: "That's how Ironwood thought." So that's boiling down the volume 7 problem to being incredibly simplistic and tbh in not a very fair way (this is acting like Ironwood didn't want to save anyone in volume 7 and it's acting like Team RWBY had any real plan in volume 7 themselves,) but it's also.... Not wrong. If Salem gets all the Relics, the world could end and kill literally every person alive, Ruby is just saying 'we should've prioritized her not getting a doomsday key because not doing that could lead to Salem KILLING EVERYONE ALIVE ON THE PLANET. Yang is acting like being slightly realistic for two seconds is being on the path of villainy!

Blake's like "Hope the Cat is okay." I understand that the girls are processing a lot, but some of them didn't even think about the Cat risking itself, risking death, after having been freaked out by the Jabberwalker, and now the most they can muster when they remembered it existed at all is "yeah hope it's okay." Shouldn't they be slightly more worried about the life of an ally?

Jaune needs to take a million chill pills. Mr. Trauma he may be but if it's a choice between him or the Cat... I'm taking the cat. And he needs to not pull a "team RWBY" and draw his weapons on people. What was he gonna do, kill the cat? Nice thought, that Jaune might want to be a cold-blooded out-of-anger murderer as well as a it's-what-she-wanted out of kindness murderer.

Weiss: "We've been following this story the whole time and it's not even true?!" Okay, let's review. They arrived in the Ever After and a couple of things that happened to Alyx also happened to them so they assumed that they were going through the story in the same way as her - which is why they played the game with the Red Prince - but then when they beat the Prince's game same as Alyx, they got wildly off track without any of them mentioning it while none of them recognized the Cat right away and encountered a whole character who didn't exist in the book and then said they were off book, and then they went to a market to get a growgurt with none of them even sort of saying Alyx had done the same iirc, And now Weiss is insisting that they have been following the story? No, they stopped doing that like two episodes ago, right? The only thing they've been trying to do in the story is just go to the Tree, and they've been relying on the Cat for that since they ran from the Prince, not the book. So why is Weiss now acting like they've been following in Alyx's footsteps the whole time? They already know the Ever After contains lots of things that weren't in the original book - like the concept of Ascencion and the Caterpillar and other things they act like they don't know about like the loop, so why are they now acting like the story not containing everything in the Ever After is new?

So because of people being mad at the Cat, either the Cat or Ever After itself put everyone in a "punderstorm" (stupid name,) which is a "physical manifestation of a mental or emotional problem" (It's implied the Cat did it, but I'm unsure.) This is another thing that isn't in the Ever After book based on the reactions of the girls, and it immediately punishes Weiss for saying its the pits? Implying that the Ever After itself is an entity with enough consciousness to be offended? Also the gag where Weiss falls through the hole and then reappears falling on her back is very Marvel, very Spongebob. Oddly enough Weiss is just like "yep my bad lol" and doesn't say something like "omg did the Ever After itself just punish me for insulting it?!"

Jaune says the only way out is to fix the problem or 'wait for the storm to pass' before he directs them to keep moving before saying that Blake and Yang must've had 'something bigger' to work out. Here's the thing with that. Yeah, Blake and Yang did have their feelings to talk to each other about, but the Ever After forces them away from the others to talk about their emotional problem, and didn't like, force Jaune and Ruby into a place where he tells her he killed Penny? It doesn't force Ruby to stand across from her teammates and tell them she can't take everything anymore and it isn't fair that she's carrying them on her shoulders? The Ever After doesn't trap Weiss until she works out her clear emotional problems about losing Atlas? The Ever After doesn't put Jaune across from the Cat until they make up again over the situation with Alyx and Lewis? Why is it that Blake and Yang get singled out? Oh yeah, because the writers are singling them out. They might as well have had the RWBY writers appear on screen and shuffle Blake and Yang away from the others while breaking the fourth wall to tell the camera Office-style that they just can't write for characters to do things naturally so please stick with 'em for this brief intermission.

Blake and Yang need to get to the platform in the middle!

It's too bad that they aren't hunters who can launch themselves into the air or have weapons that help them with that!

Yang earlier: "Wasn't Alyx bad? She lied and cheated her way through the whole book." Jaune now: "She wasn't just a little petulant, or inconsiderate. She was selfish, cruel." Either Jaune misread Alyx in the book or Yang did, lol. 'A little petulant' is a minor character flaw (and every character ought to have at least one character flaw,) being a bad example for little kids on what not to do and a liar and a cheat through the whole story is something else entirely! This is hilarious, Jaune and Yang would've been out there accusing the other of being brainless antis who didn't read the same story. XD

So Alyx poisoned Jaune and he died? He says "I was dead" So... how did he come back to life? Is he alive?

Also it's worth noting that Blake and Yang don't even call for Weiss, Ruby, or Jaune and don't act worried about them at all despite the fact that "punderstorms" and their role is clearly also not part of the book. That's not helping the 'no they do care about other people' argument tbh.

Yang: "I like that you've never been intimidated by me." No lie, when I heard this, I burst out laughing. Blake has never been intimidated by Yang? She acted like Yang would hit her because Yang chose to go on a separate mission! Blake has been animated to make worried faces all season long while she tries to patiently coax Yang into not losing her temper like one would talk to a five year old. Blake has acted hesitant to express her worries with Yang - heck, throughout most of season six, Blake was acting like she was waiting for Yang to hit her, and their 'triumphant' moment in volume six was Blake sobbingly trying to assure Yang that she wouldn't ever leave her. Again, these characters are acting like they're delusional. Yang claiming that Blake has never been intimidated by her when Blake as recently as three in-universe days ago at least was ducking her head with a sad face and hunched shoulders while she waited for a scolding looking like she feared being hit because Yang had left her... It just makes Yang look like she doesn't pay any attention to Blake really, and during their love confession, that's a very bad look!

I would so much prefer a love confession where Blake and Yang naturally just told each other how they felt or kissed in the heat of a moment or something rather than having them forced into it, not only is it very fanfic in the worst way but it's also.... Cutting it kind of close to uncomfortable. If I was forced to confess my attraction to another girl, then no matter how sure I felt about my own feelings or how sure I felt that she felt the same way, I'd be pissed off. The fact that Blake and Yang are just like "aww I think we have to tell each other how we feel uwu" and not being like "god the Ever After doesn't even know if we're out and they're forcing this on us?" is weird lol.

Blake and Yang start telepathy communicating with each other?? I think??? And neither of them reacts to it????

Also here's the thing, being completely honest when I don't ship something, the attention and focus the ship gets and the shipping scenes are annoying to me. It's the same thing with Arthur and Gwen in Merlin, it's the same thing with having to watch Aragorn kiss Arwen. It's a complaint that I don't expect or even want to be adhered to because I'm not the only person in the world and I do think Blake and Yang needed the confirmation they got (though with most ships I don't ship my problems usually extend to not thinking they're super well done,) but it did lessen my personal enjoyment of the episode that such a large chunk of it was devoted to this ship that I honestly don't really like. This would be a skip on every watch through tbh.

Jaune: "Feels like I've been waiting forever for that." Buddy, when have you talked to Blake or Yang for more than a minute? Jaune is not only like twenty years removed from this situation but has very little established closeness between either girl involved. I feel like this would be like if I went back to my hometown in ten years and saw two friends of my sister kissing and I was like "I've been waiting forever for that!"

At first I thought I liked the Celtic Women style song that plays when Blake and Yang kiss, but on my second watch of this ep, I feel like I don't.

Anyway, those are my thoughts.... 2/10 episode. Pretty bad generally.

[m34gs]

An Anon ask from someone you definitely don't know, I swear.

Tell us your head canons for Ichigo Kurosaki from Bleach 👀

Well, I wonder who this could be from. Hmmm. Not a clue. No idea at all. (based on this post)

Thank you for the ask, anon! It's been a hot minute since I talked about Bleach and Ichigo Kurosaki :D I have a few headcannons about Ichigo and I am rather excited to share them! (some of these are pretty heavy and serious headcannons...sorry, not sorry😅)

PTSD and Night-terrors: Ichigo has both. From flashbacks, to angry outbursts, to panic attacks, to waking up screaming in the middle of the night from a dream he can't even remember. Sometimes it's things directly related to Aizen, Ywach, and the wars. Sometimes, it's little things: a flash of something shiny moving too fast in the corner of his vision, an innocent noise from a tv show that sounds like a hollow, or even just not knowing where his sisters are when they're late in coming home. This boy literally died and became a hollow (briefly). There's no way he doesn't struggle with PTSD and/or night terrors.

Fear of Becoming a Parent: Let's be real. Even with a loving father, and knowing how much his mother loved him, Ichigo is probably gonna have issues. He's going to worry about another life to protect. He's going to stress and probably think "How can I be a dad, when I can barely get my shit together" every time he has a melt-down from one of his PTSD triggers. I would find it highly unlikely that anyone who's been through what he has would feel really confident in parenting. There's also the fact that Isshin, while definitely trying his best to parent and at the same time pretend he doesn't know anything about Soul Society, wasn't exactly the greatest dad to Ichigo. I just don't think he gave his son a lot of emotional support through the series, and I think that really messed with Ichigo's head. I don't think Ichigo would see him as a role model for parenting.

Substance Use Disorder: in the form of: addiction. I think, building on my other headcannons, Ichigo is probably not gonna cope very well. (We've seen how badly shit went down in the Fullbringer Arc. This boy has Issues and No Coping Skills whatsoever.) Whether he gets an addiction to some sort of drugs (probably pain killers or something else he has easy access to) or alcohol, I think he'll need a serious wake-up call (probably from Chad) before he's able to get through the addiction.

Fear of Being Alone: I think he would be very afraid of being left out and alone again. Especially after the Fullbringer arc. He can't handle not being able to protect his friends or family.

Let's have a couple slightly more light-hearted, not-so-heavy ones, lol:

Forgetting what's normal: I think Ichigo has been so wrapped up in fighting Hollows and Aizen and working with Soul Society for so long now, and through so many large events with so many people changing sides, that he sometimes forgets what is normal conversation for regular people. This leads to some very odd/concerning conversations that leave others wide-eyed and going 'what the fuuuuuuuck' and leave us, the audience, in stitches laughing. ("How did you and Grimmjow meet, Kurosaki?"/ "He tried to kill one of my best friends and then kidnapped the other one. We beat the shit out of each other"/ "...what")

Suspicion: Ok, so Ichigo has been burned so many times by someone promising him something or pretending to guide him, only to then turn around and demand something or betray him or some other form of deception. So, I think he'd be Extra Suspicious of people, especially in positions of authority. Which means, I'm picturing him going to university and the prof going "this assignment is worth 10% of your grade" and Ichigo going "Is it? Is it really? You're not gonna make it 20% at the last minute, are you? Hmmmm??? HMMMMM???????" except you know, in his Ichigo way. Meaning. He'll probably corner the prof after lecture and intimidate the shit out of him. Poor little old professor. Or: Other Professor: "As long as you follow what I say, you will do just fine and pass this class easily". Ichigo: "Fuck that" /does the opposite. gets a bad grade. Shocked Pikachu emoji/ LOL.

Tiredness x 1000: Ok, so this one is kind of not funny but also kind of funny. I think that due to being wired all the time from adrenaline and such, and not being able to get a good night's sleep, Ichigo is exceedingly tired. Always. And that leads to slightly funny (but also realistically dangerous) things on the surface because he becomes That Friend who will fall asleep on anything as long as the surface is vaguely horizontal. In class. In the cafeteria. While shopping with friends. On a train. On a bus. On the sidewalk. In the Park. On a bench. In a pool. Upside Down. One time, he falls very deeply asleep in the middle of a spar with Grimmjow, and Grimmjow freaks out and thinks he's actually killed Kurosaki. Grimmjow panics and starts planning the funeral to calm himself down. When Ichigo wakes up, Grimmjow is so relieved but also annoyed because how Dare he fool Grimmjow, that he kicks Ichigo.

Thanks again for the ask, anon! Hope you enjoyed these headcannons!!!

[ineffectualdemon]

Let me know if it's just me but did anyone else feel that once the Culling Game storyline started that Jujutsu Kaisen got a little...boring?

To be clear I don't think it's because Akutami is a bad storyteller. I think it's because he got burnt out and I am fully sympathetic to Akutami and just feel kinda sad about it

SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA AFTER THIS POINT

Maki's storyline was so good and so strong and impactful but it was really obvious how stretched Akutami was by the end as some of the last pages were not finished and were more sketchy and rough (artistically I think it worked bit it was clearly not intentional)

And he had a long break right after that

When JJK came back it lacked passion. There were some good moments at the start of the next Arc but once the Culling Game story arc really got going it started to feel more like exposition dump after exposition dump with a lot of time spent with characters I didn't really know or care about

It felt...rushed. like he was trying to get to the end as fast as possible because he was so burnt out

Gojo's death should have been a bit emotional moment. Even how it was portrayed it should have hit

But because we got the stats exposition dumps taking up most of the time and it was following a not very engaging arc it just felt flat to me

I wanted to care but I couldn't

And it kinda felt like that's how Akutami felt making it

And I'm not shitting on Akutami. The manga industry from what I understand is brutal on artists with their deadlines and their need to keep momentum and their place. And there was a lot of pressure that came with a really successful anime series as well

I totally get why he might have burnt out and burnt out badly

I just think it's a shame because the story up to that point was so good. Especially with how he handled Maki and her storyline and how everything seemed to be developing

And it just feels like the pace required to be a successful manga artist has eaten Akutami alive and in some ways killed their story and that makes me a bit sad. I haven't caught up with the latest chapters and I will because I still want to see how it ends but it's a shame what happened to JJK in my opinion

I still think Akutami is a good storyteller and artist. I love how he writes women in particular but I hope he gets a chance to recover from burnt out properly and make what makes him happy

[the-andromeda-effect]

10

"How was the first night of wedded bliss?" Theron teased as he entered Caliban’s office.  He noticed his friend was alone and wondered where Adira was.  Hopefully, things had not gone badly, that would not bode well for a working environment, and he really did think that she would be a great asset to their operations.

"I can thank that thunderstorm for convincing my new wife to fall asleep in my arms.  If our good night and morning kisses were any indication, then we are off to a good start."  Caliban replied, trying not to laugh when Theron froze and just stared at him with brows raised.  Clearly, it was not the reply that he was expecting.  

"Would you like to be serious now?" Theron rolled his eyes with a chuckle, and headed over to the thermal coffee carafe in Caliban’s office with his head shaking.  He was obviously going to need more caffeine to deal with his friend's sarcasm and jokes.  Hopefully Adira was in as good of spirits as Caliban when she appeared.

"I was serious.  Completely, in fact.  I do have to thank you again for the joke regarding me marrying her.  I think I might keep her.  I would have to say having her around is definitely growing on me." Caliban sat back with a smug grin.  Watching Theron become dumbfounded was enjoyable, it happened so rarely.

"She's not a pet, Cal.  You have to do more than feed, water, and go for walks with her occasionally.   Even diamonds once a month or so won't cut it." Theron took his usual place on the other side of the desk, an amused expression now firmly in place.  "I don't know what went on last night but don't toy with her just because she fell into your arms during a highly emotional time.  She is brilliant from all accounts, seems very sweet, and Mircea is a tyrant. The last thing she needs…"

"Is for you to assume I was anything but a gentleman or wish to rush anything with her.  I'm not even sure why I'm feeling as I am.  For both our sake, I want to do this right.  Don’t think I am not acutely aware of all the complicating issues here, Theron.  So, you can save the big brother speech for when I actually do fuck up something later." Caliban winked and took a sip of his coffee.  There was no doubt that at some point that he would make mistakes, and Theron would be the one to counsel him.  They had always been the sounding board and counsel for one another.  Something about Adira told him that she would become more dear to him, so Theron's counsel would be appreciated during those times.

"Well, you and the new Mrs. Andros are now officially legally married." Theron reached into his attache case and pulled out a folder containing documents.  From that he pulled a marriage certificate and laid it on the desk. "So, I guess it is good you want to keep her around.  I'd hate to have to draft a divorce so soon after getting this filed, then seduce her to marry me.  One of us needs to make sure she’s locked down…for the business of course."  Theron winked over at Caliban who was now looking at him and shaking his head.  Theron really wasn't too surprised Caliban was attracted to Adira, it was the inverse that had him a bit mystified.    Having just escaped from one head of an organization who wanted her dead, she showed remarkable trust in the one who was sent to kill her. Could Mircea be running some kind or game?  No…Caliban had been hired to kill her, and Caliban never showed mercy…till now. 

"I'd hate to make you disappear, Theron, you are my oldest and dearest friend." Caliban teased back, fully laughing now.

"Then who would handle your legal troubles?  Do you have another lawyer I don't know about?" The two men might have gone back and forth more except that there was a knock at the door before it opened and Lars stepped in. Both men's expressions were that of confusion and concern, seeing as how they had expected Adira or at least her to be with him. If she wasn’t, then where was she?

As Lars looked in the room the color drained from his face and fear grew in his heart.  When he'd turned around and Mrs. Andros had been gone from the table outside where she’d been eating and they’d been chatting, he'd assumed she'd joined the men in the study as they had discussed when he’d helped her down from the upper floor.  Now he was deeply concerned.  He already knew she had not returned upstairs because of her still limping from the twisted ankle the night prior bothering her; if he hadn’t helped her, she wouldn’t have been able to get down the stairs.

With a shaky voice uncharacteristic for him, the bodyguard explained his reason for appearing.  "I apologize for the intrusion, but it appears Mrs. Andros has gone missing somewhere on the property, sirs."  Lars didn't move, waiting for the explosion.  He just hoped it would not include being shot.

"Missing? How the fuck has she gone missing?  She was supposed to be with you!" It wasn't an explosion but Caliban was upset and had gotten up and out of his chair to head to the door before it had even sunk in for Theron what Lars had said.  No one should be able to get onto his property, and he had no indication she wished to leave.  It was quite the opposite in fact.  So if she was missing, something was very wrong and he was going to find out what and who caused it.

"Sir, she was at the table on the back veranda having something to eat when I turned around to get her more coffee from the carafe left for us.  When I turned back she was gone.  I didn’t hear anything." Lars explained as he backed up out of Caliban’s way.  At least he hadn’t been shot, yet.

By the time Caliban made it to the door his gun was drawn with the safety off.  Theron was behind him in the same manner.  Neither man believed she had left willingly, which meant someone on the property had her and that her bodyguard wasn’t that person was not a good sign.   Lars hit the button on the mic pinned to his collar, "The new Mrs. Andros has been abducted, scour the estate. No one in or out of the gates.  She was last seen on the back veranda." Then he fell in line behind the other two men.

Guards all over the estate were looking for a female they weren't familiar with, most having no clue there WAS a new Mrs. Andros.  Just the name was enough to get everyone moving though, no doubt their boss was not happy about the situation.  Lars was the only one who knew what she looked like, however since the other females were all regular staff, she shouldn’t be hard to spot.

The entire mansion was searched, including closets and areas that were only accessible with keys or codes. Inside every vehicle was searched, including the trunks.  Staff were duplicating efforts, just in case something was missed.  The longer that it went without Lars hearing anything in his ear from one of the other estate guards, the more his stomach fell.  He remembered hearing Mircea Kalavati's name the night before from her, and her obvious terror regarding the man. If he had found a way onto the property, it could be a disaster.  Men in their line of work knew very silent ways of killing and bodies often weren’t found.

"I don't know who she is but Kondrat is dragging a beautiful dark haired female in beige pants and a light top towards the front gate with his gun to her head. Looks like they are arguing about something.  Come on Lars, that's not her is it?  Shit, he just hit her!" Svarog's voice came through Lars' earpiece and the bodyguard almost stumbled.  What the fuck?!

"Yes, that IS Adira Andros!" Lars all but yelled into his mic as he spun to head the other direction.  "Whoever the fuck is closest to Kondrat, stop that fucking idiot and get Mrs. Andros to safety immediately!" As he stopped yelling into his mic, he could hear Caliban and Theron swearing behind him.  They were close on his heels, so they’d all find out what the fuck was going on at the same time. There was little doubt that they would be looking for a new guard for the estate soon.  No one threatened, let alone abused, those dear to Caliban and lived, this was not news.