#I am aware that not many people will understand this feeling

[jyndor]

I'm sorry, I do not want to be condescending or disrespectful to people who were more casual fans of rogue one, but it does not escape my notice that the initial response to this show before it aired was mostly "who asked for this???" so for those people, people who did not care a lick about cassian before the show, yeah of course they did not come in with expectations about who he is or the things he has to be and do in order to fit with a film that they don't really care much about.

for many of us who HAVE cared, who WERE ride or die for a cassian show from the moment it was announced, this has been an exercise in frustration and frankly even hurt. so when I say what I am about to say, it isn't because I think we are the only people whose opinions matter. but I am tired of being told since s1 aired that I just don't get what tony gilroy is trying to do, or that I am just a petty shipper, or that I lack media literacy which LMFAO. and I am also aware that my love of this character and the film has absolutely colored my feelings about the show - which I think is probably a better watch for people who did not come into the show knowing or caring about cassian andor as a character.

I understand what gilroy was trying to do. I think he was very successful with s1 even if I didn't like the choices he made for cassian's backstory. but s2 is a different story, and I think the show failed to deliver on what was setup by the first season but more importantly by the film. rogue one is about love - same as andor. the different kinds of love that exist between people, that people have for their communities and for all living beings. the idea of a revolution, to rogue one/andor, is beyond just hating the oppressor - but loving the oppressed, and having a clear understanding of what is to be done to build a brighter future.

this is why the relationship between jyn and cassian in rogue one is the HEART of the film. full stop. whatever the end result (which is of course what matters the most) this was a central part of the story very early on in development of the film, and it also is present in so many of the supplemental works - including in official art, in comics, and of course the novelization.

basically at one point in development, the character who ends up cassian andor is an isb spy who is in a relationship with rebel soldier jyn erso, and only when he sees what happens at jedha (probably jedha, may have been called something else at that point but i don't remember, this is all off the top of my head) does he become a true rebel. at another point, the film ends with jyn and cassian escaping scarif, and then there is a wedding, presumably theirs in the future. of course this ends up getting scrapped because lucasfilm lets the writers kill off everyone at the end, but that doesn't mean that jyn and cassian do not have a romantic element to their relationship.

jyn and cassian are loosely named after the original legends characters who get the death star plans - jan ors and kyle katarn, who are romantically involved.

multiple people involved in the film have said there is probably a kiss that was filmed in the elevator. diego luna was always VERY clear even through andor s1 press that jyn erso was at the very least extremely important to cassian (and back in the day he even said they'd be together and selling fridges lmfao), was his mirror and someone that he felt a serious connection with. diego and felicity clearly played their dynamic as romantic, even if nothing ever happened between their characters because they did not have the time.

the novelization by alexander freed is FULL of clear romantic subtext and outright text especially from cassian's pov. absolutely none of this makes it canon that they WOULD have gotten together had they lived, but it does show an intention that existed for almost as long as the characters did in development - that jyn and cassian's story is a love story, and that it is a love story that ends before it can really begin. that is the tragedy of rogue one - these are people who finally find their home (all of them, not just jyn and cassian, in the cause) and they have to die to save that home. and also it is their home because they WOULD die for it - for the rebellion.

though rebelcaptain has one of the most intimate scenes i have ever seen in star wars (the elevator scene) it is not physically intimate. so to many people that means it's not romantic. which is a shame because it's such a beautiful moment of emotional vulnerability, where these two people finally have a quiet place to just be together, to let all their walls down and belong, but since people are fucking idiots now they think cassian is wishing jyn was ANYONE else lmfao

but that doesn't change the reality of how beloved rebelcaptain is. rebelcaptain immediately inspired so much from the fans - for a mf ship to get as much love as it does to this day is a real testament to how much it is loved by fans. over 5k fanfics on ao3 for a niche non-explicitly canon mf ship is wild. it's the 7th most written about ship on ao3 for all of star wars media. again, for a ship in ONE movie.

of course, a prequel was never going to make jyn and cassian's relationship canon before they even meet. still it is a core part of rogue one and as such I would expect it to haunt the narrative of andor, which it does to some extent, especially in the first season but also in the second. this is not my issue with the show at all because again i understand where they are going with it.

my frustrations with the show are not about cassian having a committed relationship with someone else either. arguably that could have done a lot to move his character to the man who we see in rogue one - and to me it didn't all that well imo because the show doesn't treat cassian andor as if he is an established character with established motivations that we have known for almost TEN years.

my problem is that the show spends more time and energy building up a wonderful ensemble and doing pretty great plot for THEM than it does building cassian into the man we see in rogue one. it wastes too much time in s2 doing a whole lot of nothing, actual nothing, when it needs to be GIVING us what we need. not just what we want. meaning, if you are going to make the case that cassian is talking out of his ass on eadu, you better make that case well - or it won't fucking work.

SHOW us your work, gilroy. don't just tell the audience that cassian is suddenly a great leader, we need to SEE IT. i believe he is but the show does not give any real evidence for it.

it's storytelling 101 - show, don't tell. and considering this is CASSIAN'S backstory, it's a cardinal sin for so much of the development of cassian's core motivations in rogue one to be afterthoughts told to us offhandedly.

an egregious example of this is his relationship with bix.

in a single film, we see more evidence as to why cassian and jyn are so well suited to one another - be it as partners in the rebellion, as friends and/or as potential lovers - than we see of cassian and bix in the entire show. i do not say this to disrespect bixcass shippers, you do you boo, but because honestly I believe this is part of a fundamental problem with andor.

because I actually think the intention of the show is to make that point to us - that bix and cassian are NOT well suited to one another, that they may each be someone that the other WANTS to love, but they are not who they NEED. but I don't think the show gives this the time and attention it deserves.

we are told that bix and cassian are exes in s1, and we see that they broke up because of various incompatibilities - cassian running off and being inconsistent, cassian prioritizing his own needs and wants over bix's, cassian not being open to emotional vulnerability, bix wanting a normal life with a normal guy, etc. no matter how clear it was to me that they had unresolved emotions between them, it was also clear that one of them was always going to hold the other back.

s1 has the room to breathe but also isn't trying to overcome these issues. that is why their friendship, their dynamic, in s1 works on multiple levels - even if I do not ship them - because the show isn't trying to push aside their issues in s1. the first season sets up multiple paths: one that is two first loves who romantically reconnect after a period of personal growth, and one that is two first loves who find that they are better off as friends because their incompatibilities would not be sustainable under the weight of building a revolution. both of which, in order to line up properly with rogue one, would have to end in great tragedy of some sort. not necessarily fridging, but a separation or complete severing of ties because their GOALS ARE NOT THE SAME. not necessarily their goals for the rebellion, although the show does make that clear, but their PERSONAL goals.

it seems as though the show understands this too. the problem comes down to s2 not having the time to explore some very important foundational parts of this supposedly central relationship - or the interest in doing so either.

we do not see them reconnect, which is whack. so not only do we not see how their first teen romance worked (we are just told about cassian sneaking into bix's room lmao) but we also do not see how they fall back in love. because I'm sorry, love is a choice. love is an active thing we must work for. it is not easy, especially in conflict. we see how not easy it is between them once they have already committed to each other, but we do not see WHY they made the choice to rebuild their relationship with one another again, or HOW.

yes, cassian saves bix at the end of s1. okay? bix is deeply traumatized, and we never really see her deal with it. no, the girlboss 2015 era bad bitch coruscant blowout does not count. we also do not see cassian deal with literally any of his traumas either, but we don't see him deal with much.

it seems as though they get back together because they feel like they SHOULD - okay, well then show us WHY. this is supposed to be the heart of the show, right? well show me why that heart beats.

because what I see is cassian and bix fighting, being unwilling to let the other make choices for themselves (bix especially but cassian is guilty of this too) and bix basically reverting to a version of herself we never see in s1, which is a docile, tea-making housewife. cool cool but WHY?? where has it ever been established that bix caleen wants to be a homemaker? that CASSIAN wants that in a partner??

in fact, in the first fucking episode of s1, cassian EXPLICITLY mocks timm for picking a woman who is unruly and rebellious. that moment establishes that cassian understands bix will never be passive, it is not in her nature, and that he doesn't WANT her to be. he thinks timm is a bad match for her because of timm's own preferences for a partner being kind of incompatible with who cassian understands bix to be.

and yet - am I supposed to believe that bix's traumas have changed that core part of her? that a woman who chooses the rebellion is content with not doing ANYTHING? with tea making???

not only is this strike three for tony gilroy passifying a rebellious woman in some way for another character's story (jyn erso, cinta kaz and now bix caleen) it is also totally hard for me to buy because it's not even EXPLORED.

WHY does bix spend her time doing very little (except of course all the stuff she does earlier on offscreen apparently)??? WHY is the rebellion not utilizing her very important skillset (comms and mechanics) when the same revolutions that gilroy has clearly studied so much for this story would have made her very, very useful?

as I said earlier, I think the show makes a decent case for why they ultimately are incompatible. in the end, it comes down to a lack of trust that the other will do the right thing. bix leaves cassian (when she is pregnant; clearly the baby is meant to be cassian's) to go back to the place where she was sexually assaulted for Reasons because she is "choosing the rebellion" but what she is really choosing is to raise a child that cassian would probably want to know about without him even being aware of their existence.

what she is choosing is to not distract cassian from ~his destiny~ which lmao okay sure whatever but GIRLFRIEND you should not have to make that choice. you should trust that he is committed to this ideal you believe so strongly in that you are willing to leave everything behind for good.

because the truth is that yes, bix says that she'll find him someday, and yes, cassian thinks he'd like to find her someday too, but the truth is that this is a betrayal. this is a partner not only forcing the hand of someone they love for an ideal they both supposedly believe in, but also taking away the choice of the partner to have any say in whether or not he has a relationship with a baby that he helped create lmfao. of course a woman has no obligation to involve the genetic father in a baby's life but it's clear that we are supposed to think this is an act of love on bix's part, but... i'm sorry, bix seems to understand (like cassian) that there really is no likely future for their relationship. so if anything, it is selfish. okay. cool, then why is the final scene shot in a way that makes it look sweet and hopeful??? lmfao it looks insane because it IS an insane thing for a person to do.

and am I supposed to believe that cassian and bix would be having unprotected sex during a war???? with their traumas of losing their parents young????? sorry its always been a no for me with rebelcaptain and its a no period.

cassian, who has had his choices taken from him all his life, has this choice taken too - and fuck no I do not get with that, especially not when bix was not forced to do any of this. she CHOSE to leave cassian at his most vulnerable, after witnessing a genocide, something he himself is a survivor of, in order to keep him in the rebellion? girl bye

cassian is overprotective of her to a fault, and it gets them into fights. after her girlboss moment does she even do anything for the rebellion besides "choose" the rebellion for cassian? i literally do not remember a second of her doing anything besides pouring tea and yapping.

so we do not see her recover from her traumas, but we are to assume that she's better now because she tortured her torturer. okay cool, that COULD have been an interesting way to show the audience that revenge does not heal, and certainly not using the pain and suffering of oppressed children to do so will not heal. this could have played into cassian telling jyn to leave krennic at the end of the film, juxtaposing the way he led bix to harming herself further with the way that he asked jyn to spend their last moments together, free from the taint of an easy kill when he knew it was likely krennic wasn't gonna make it.

nope instead we get absolutely nothing. bix suddenly seems okay! great, cool but how did she go from drug addled and struggling with ptsd to beautiful sexy housewife who just so happens to never do anything with any of her skills again from that point?

and that does not serve cassian's story at all. it doesn't even serve her own.

one thing the show does well for her is how it handle's bix's assault. but again, this is how tony gilroy radicalizes bix, as if being tortured by the audio of oppressed murdered children is not enough. there's another avenue for her radicalization: in the first episode, timm mentions a wobani job. meaning bix and timm are working with the prisons (aka labor camps aka concentration camps) for her business. okay well imagine what it would be like to realize that you've been directly profiting off of a system that your friend/lover was enslaved by???

bix as an undocumented woman of course IS of course at risk, and it isn't wrong to show us what that means. the show does make a point of exposing how at risk marginalized women are - from kerri possibly being at the brothel to the way the imperials speak about the dhani women to bix's assault, it's a part of the story and i have no problem with it.

but the purpose was to radicalize her. and what is the purpose in radicalizing bix? to force cassian into serving the rebellion.

even though by then, cassian should be BEYOND committed.

and it's not even something he gets to confront, not really. while it seems to me that they both know their relationship is done for good, while the show seems to recognize that bix was out of pocket for that, why then the image of bix with baby??? why make it seem like she did something good for cassian?

i know, i know. legacy. but i'm sorry that's a legacy that cassian has no ties to but blood. and that's just genetics. not relation, not choice, not family. not necessarily.

it would have made far more sense to show a scene of what cassian was running TO - maybe to jyn, which would have made sense given the shot of saw, but also maybe to bodhi and galen, maybe to anything but what who left him behind and what he was always supposed to LEAVE behind in order for the show to stick the landing.

[lilianade-comics]

Has Danielle tried considering Danny's perspective on Vlad? The guy tries to hit on your married mom the instant you meet him, has attempted multiple times to kill your dad, *clones you* (which, as the clone themself, I can see this being a morally grey dilemma because they wouldn't exist if that didn't happen), etc, etc. Is she truly aware of the type of sleazy scumbag he is and simply doesn't care? Is her perception of him warped that much due to bias?

Not saying she isn't allowed to love Vlad as a parent, of course, especially when she's the first and likely only person he (in your AU) genuinely cares for and treats with any amount of respect.

I was just wondering when the two finally form a mutual understanding that, "Yeah, Vlad sucks as a person. I won't betrayal him, and you can't change my mind, but I at least acknowledge how he's made your life hell." Surely, they do at some point since they're seen causally hanging out and getting along in your other comics without much issue. They don't have to entirely stop being enemies, either, as they're naturally on opposing sides because of her loyalty, but she can still sympathize with him and find the whole situation a bit depressing to say the least.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. Merely wanted to spill my thoughts and curiosities after seeing your Eye-for-an-Eye snippets. Would love to see or hear about the first time they sit and have an actual heart-to-heart conversation about everything that doesn't devolve into an argument or physical fight.

Danielle at this early stage in this AU is more in denial about Vlad's villainous behavior than she is later, and she's mostly ignorant of Danny's personal experiences with him. She thinks the best of Vlad because she's his child, and because Eye for an Eye isn't exactly the most ideal circumstances for her to meet Danny, they're going to be pitted against each other in an antagonistic rivals relationship for a handful of "episodes". From Dani's POV, Danny is the so-much-better-than-her ideal golden boy that her father (used to be) obsessed with, and Danny had her home destroyed, so Dani is not currently keen to hear Danny's justified objections to her father's lengthy rap sheet.

Urban Jungle is going to be the much needed Danny & Dani relationship development episode, because it's the perfect backdrop for them to come to an understanding since they'll be the only two people who escaped Undergrowth's control. Two incredibly similar rivals, one town to save, and a ton of interpersonal issues to work through. They'll end that story on much better terms than they did in Eye for an Eye, and Dani will begin to morph into Danny's chill cousin instead of his bitter rival.

(In the meta sense, Dani's stubborn defense of Vlad is meant to mirror Danny's stubborn defense of Jack. I'm not saying either one is right or wrong for this or that Jack and Vlad are a 100% fair comparison, but I am saying the kids are kindred spirits and both feel they are in the right. That being said, Dani becomes a relatively neutrally aligned character rather than a traditional antagonist, and she's just as likely to side with Danny later on as she is with Vlad.)

Thanks for the ask! Rambling is great, and it's helpful to me to have to try to articulate what I'm doing with this AU. (I originally envisioned this monster as half semi-serious canon rewrite, and half obnoxiously self-indulgent fanon fluff. And since it's based on season 3, there are so many pacing and narrative direction issues to try to account for that I. Simply haven't done that. So it's kind of all over the place & I couldn't tell you how the AU ends because I don't know :P)

[catherine-clover]

Alright. Time to finish this draft.

@sophieinwonderland

Rejecting dehumanization isn't some lofty moral virtue or a form of tone policing. It's a safeguard against self-deception. This stance isn't to protect others. It's for your own benefit.

Sure, at this moment, you feel confident in your understanding of the world. You stay informed and can clearly distinguish right from wrong. But confidence today will blind you tomorrow, when the boundaries of truth start to shift.

Something new will always come up. New challenges and perspectives constantly emerge. The intense convictions you hold are liable to backfire over time. Mistakes are inevitable. You will be wrong, and eventually, you will stand on the wrong side of history. The question is how quickly you'll get back. But if you've already decided that everyone who disagrees with you is lesser than an animal, that's going to take a long time.

To repeat the old trope, there are a lot of former hippies who are now senior conservatives. Or to point at a more recent example, all the middle-aged TERFs/FARTs taking power. Dehumanization breeds closed minds. This is why it is so often used by closed minds.

And relatedly, no matter how disgusting or horrifying it is to think about, those people are part of the same species as you. They are running the same jelly hardware as you. Many of them are, in a neutral sense, just as intelligent as you, or more so. ("Um actually they're automatically less intelligent because they believe-" No True Scotsman Fallacy.)

This is not calling for "appealing to a shared humanity" I am stating a biological fact that is very important not to forget. That common phrase is shorthand for an appeal to shared human virtue. And if there is none to appeal to, then fine. There are some "low roads" that are effective and necessary tools. But there are many more cursed ones like this that will always fulfill "live long enough to see yourself become the villain".

Do not confuse what humans ought to be with what they are or must be, or what defines them. A human is a living organism of the species Homo sapiens. Refusing to acknowledge your own potential for cruelty and prejudice, even and especially unto the extreme, is much like ignoring your vulnerability to manipulation into a cult, or any scam: losing awareness makes you more susceptible than ever.

This mindset also incentivizes you to drag anyone who opposes you into the dehumanized "other" category. It makes them a lot easier to deal with, because you can do anything, very cathartic things, to an evil subhuman. You will justify your actions as righteous, and be confident in your righteousness.

The real danger isn't hating them. The real danger is how good it feels to hate them. Once you decide your cruelty is righteous, you'll keep escalating to chase that high. And you won't even notice the lock clicking shut on your own mind.

I'm sure you've already heard all of that, of course. I'm sure you've seen these kinds of points made plenty elsewhere. I don't expect to change your mind with a single post. But I'd like to see you defend yourself against this bulk of reason. And when you've finished writing out your response, overbloated as always, I want you to give it a long, slow read and really consider the kinds of arguments you're making.

It's not different when you do it.

[azaharinflames]

Idk I’m failing to see any positivity towards bucktommy from Oliver.

He had so many opportunities to mention how grateful he is for portraying this particular queer love story alongside Lou but instead catering to a fanon ship pushed by a horrible subset of the fandom.

Just feels like we as a fandom are invisible to him and I’m sorry to doom in your inbox and you can just ignore if you want but I envy your enthusiasm

Respectfully, Nonnie - am I being enthusiastic? Or am I pointing out past patterns and expressing personal theories based on what I've seen? Two different things.

I am no one to tell you how to feel or what to do. And at this point, and I don't mean to be rude here, I've realised there is nothing I can do for the people who will stay negative, no matter what we see or what we say.

Again, not trying to be rude, but Oliver has spoken positively about Bucktommy in the past, and of Lou. If you chose to ignore that, that's on you. I am a bit tired of people saying he's not a Bucktommy warrior when he's doing press, when, first, he doesn't have to, and second, whenever he's been directly asked about his opinion, he's never been negative about it.

Should he be asked about the actual queer rep instead of a fanon ship? Yeah, I can agree with that. Or, hell, about actual storylines on the show. We know why they ask (engagement) and that it does not go anywhere, but I understand the frustration. That being said, is Oliver catering to them right now, when just yesterday he explicitly stated Eddie is a straight character? Do not go to the justifications Buddies find. Look at what he said.

Anyway. Like I said. I can't change anyone's mind and I don't intend to. Nor am I super enthusiastic about things. I just answer things the way I see them, plenty aware I could be wrong about everything. Who knows.

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF THESE MFS, HALF OF WHO DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT CURSED CHILD, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT AN ANGSTY TEEN DARING TO BE AN ANGSTY TEEN, I WILL FIGHT THE LOT OF YOU

(this is gonna be a bit long and probably incoherent so sit down and fucking listen to me 🔫 stick with me because I'm not just complaining about albus haters)

eVERYBODY wants cOoMmpllEeXx relatable HUMAN characters - and then SHIT themselves when the flaws a CHILD has isn't just 🥺 uwu im socially awkward and traumatised 🥺. that's why scorpius doesn't get this fuckass treatment, because his terrible human flaw is that he's a bit shit at conversation and gets sad about his dead mum (generalised understatement, but this post isnt about him. dont come for me i love him 🫶🏻)

god forbid albus, who feels unloved and unwanted (with valid evidence for a teenager), albus who feels completely out of place and outcast from his entire famously-close-knit family, ablus who is well known by the world by default via Harry and hates the attention and high expectations, albus who then gets targeted and bullied by his peers because he's not as perfect and brilliant as his father, albus who is then isolated from his one friend because Harry is making irrational ptsd fueled decisions, albus who tells Harry completely sincerely that he knows he's unlikeable but he'll try and change himself and be more like his siblings because he genuinely believes that's what Harry and everyone else whos had the misfortune of meeting him wants, albus who spends the entire play trying to prove himself and fix things via idiotic childish decisions BECAUSE HES A WHOLE UNSTABLE CHILD

god forbid that CHILD doesn't react like a patient, supported, well adjusted, level headed adult. god forbid he reacts outwardly. god forbid he reacts at all, my bad. clearly he should just sniffle a bit as if he doesn't feel suffocated and helpless by everything in his life, because obviously hes just a spoiled brat who doesn't know what real suffering is. god forbid he complains or feels anything negatively, or doesn't quite grasp that other people are struggling too because he is too busy trying so hard to deal with himself and his declining mental health the best he can with basically no support or understanding. god forbid he isn't completely perfect.

you all sound like some fucking boomer telling teenagers they don't know what real struggling is, they aren't mentally ill, they dont have any problems because they have a roof over their head, they should all go to war kids are too soft these days 😫😖😱 fUCKING‼️SHUT UP‼️

he does things wrong but he knows he does and he does everything he can to fix it! and he is fourteen!!! do none of you remember what being fourteen is like 😭😭 I swear half of you have got to be basically fourteen yourselves cmon man

cause I'm seeing this fucking pattern a lot recently. not just for albus, not just in this fandom, everywhere. ‼️ no one can fucking handle flawed characters anymore ‼️ the only thing any character is allowed to have wrong with them is trauma apparently, otherwise they have to be perfect, and I'm getting sick of it. characters and stories are meant to reflect real life, they're meant to help shape our world view, why are you expecting everyone to be fucking perfect??? what happened to nuance? what happened to understanding character development? you are all acting like characters and people are so black and white. either they're perfect or they're insufferable and evil. I won't lie, the most common victims i've noticed of this are women. but the flawed women are typically demonised, whereas the men are typically turned into uwu baby boys who actually aren't capable of doing anything wrong and then fanon goes nuts making them into ittle wittle victims. and I'm so fucking sick of all of it, I hate this. (obviously this is not a strict rule. Albus Potter, and also Albus Dumbledore now I mention it, are demonised beyond belief)

BRING BACK FLAWS AND BRING BACK NOT COMPLETELY WRITING OFF A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DARE TO BE HUMAN

I AM FED UP, ALBUS POTTER GET BEHIND ME

[lilybug-02]

My trip to Kaua'i, Hawai'i

Yellow Hibiscus: The state flower of Hawai'i. Called the “pua mao hau hele” or “Ma’o hau hele” in the Hawaiian Language (ʻŌlelo).

Nēnē (Hawaiian Goose): The rarest waterfowl in the world. Nearly brought to extinction in 1990 with 50 wild individuals. Captive-breeding programs and reintroduction efforts have given the native nēnē a chance with now over 3,862 birds statewide. I was lucky enough to see wild nēnē goslings. Very special.

Honu (Green Sea Turtle): An endangered species most commonly found near the Hawaiian Island Chain. Typically reaching sexual maturity around 20 years of age, Green sea turtles nest on the same beach where they hatched. This is a photo I took of a female rising up from the shore to lay her eggs.

Landscape photos I took on my trip in Kaua'i.

Kaua'i is one of many islands comprising the Hawaiian Volcanic Island Archipelago. I bought a Kaua'i Geologic History Book to learn more about the island and I am very excited to read it.

[charliespringverse]

i think it should be possible to scream without making any noise or disturbing anyone or inviting any questions . just sometimes . as a treat .

[sskk-manifesto]

\\

[fireheartedpup]

Can I please get some friends who want to talk with me on a daily basis like fuck I'm trying

[butch-errant]

.

[sos717]

Yes, Im Back

Here it is you guys, this is going to be the clearest and most simple explanation I’ve done so far of manifestation and your identity as conciousness and what that means for experience & the world unfolding. Don’t worry if you’re new to this, this will help!

THIS IS A MASSIVE POST, TAKE YOUR TIME AND GRAB SOME WATER, YOUR ABOUT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE 😉🤭🤭

————————————————————

So around 7 years ago I started stepping into the world of what people typically call manifestation. I went down the rabbit hole of Subliminals, Law of Attraction, Law of assumption, NonDuality and finally to where I am now, the unlabeled.

I want to preface by saying, I have been through an unimaginable amount of turmoil, and growth while on my journey to understanding reality and the way the world appears.

I’ve spent all of my time from back to when I first found out about this side of reality, to today while I’m writing this post, constantly looking at a multiplicity of teachings and teachers to figure it out, except until the very end. I really want you to know this because it’s very important to not brush this off as if it’s not possible for you, as if you have to adapt a technique or secret. This isn’t something that’s to be exhausting. With that being said, let’s move forward.

We all want things, we all have ideas of a life we hope to live, we want to fill it with all the experiences and specific details that match our taste. But this is actually, where the problem begins.

The way manifestation is taught is inherently wrong, I’ve fully stopped watching and consuming content that has anything to do with manifesting all together, because no matter what it is, Law of assumption, Law of attraction, all of the other ideologies that promise your desires, they all have a fundamental flaw, identity.

They usually all entail a similarity: methods, techniques, specific things you can do and ways you can act to make an outcome happen. All the while throwing in a random “because you’re the god of your reality”. And instead of focusing on the phrases that relate to the center of all of it, YOU, it’s simply just brushed past.

And not just the typical “your source”, “your operant power”, “you are the manifestation,

We get it but wtf does that actually mean, and why should you care??? Well, let’s get into this, because once you start from point A, everything else makes sense.

What all these teachings of the world get wrong is the idea that you can want things and desire, as source. Fundamentally this is a paradox, you can’t exist in desire and want if you are the source of reality. It’s not to say you aren’t, but it’s to say, you don’t ACTUALLY want and desire, but the illusion of being separate from the world is what makes you want and desire.

Let’s break the illusion.

Ask yourself this for me. “Am I aware”.

The answer will always be yes. Undeniably. And no matter how many times you repeat this, the answer is always yes, no matter a feeling, no matter a pleasant or unpleasant experience in the world, no matter any circumstance, you will always say yes.

Why is this so important to explore?

Because you are able to see from direct experience what source is.

When you asked yourself that question, did you notice something weird that happened? It’s almost like everything paused for a split second and your attention went somewhere to find the answer, and a response came from there. Look closer, ask yourself the question again, and this time try to find where the answer is coming from.

You’ll find that it comes out of nowhere, and if you try to trace it as far back as you can, to even before you answer yes, there this empty space of knowing that the answer conjures in.

This is consciousness. This is you.

Whether you name it consciousness/awarness or knowing, it doesn’t matter, it’s all interchangeable. But the important thing to note is, this thing doesn’t ever go anywhere. That is your true identity, the starting point of all ideas, the starting point to anything that can possibly be known. Every decision is from here, every expression comes from here, everything leads back to knowing. When there is emotion, it is known, when there is idea, it is known.

You being able to know that you are aware comes from this. This is the unseeable, the thing that can’t be perceived in any way, this is origin, its source, and its you. Take a shot at it, try to see what knowing looks like, its weight, its shape, its color, its dimensions, what its favorite color is, what it doesn’t like or does like. You’ll be left with nothing, as in no descriptions, but definitely knowing that there is a presence there that never goes away. Now try finding its name, its age, its skin color, its voice. You cant, and yet, from this very nothingness comes your undeniable answer that you exist and you are aware of your existence.

You don’t need and feelings to know, you dont need sight, sound, and sense of perception, you don’t even need to acknowledge the body in any way, but you know you “are”.

At some point when there were no worlds and universes, there was an unseeable, dimensionless plane from what everything came from, does this sound familiar? Before there were things, there was no-thing, a presence yes, but no objects. And from this, reality was expressed, but source can’t go away, the fundamental key to everything there is today, has to remain, or else everything else would not exist.

Concouisness is what you are. And it IS the origin.

Now how tf do you live you dream life???

By understanding that the world is also just an expression of source, conciousness/you.

I need you to understand something that I thing we can all agree on, if everything has one source, it would only make sense for everything to be the extension of that thing that gives it life. The world is no different, and trust me I know this without a reasonable doubt. I’ve spent closer to a decade trying to figure this out. Everything exists in/on the field of consciousness/you.

I need you to trust me, because no matter how far you have been in your journey and how tiring it might have been like it was for me, I promise you, this is worth it all.

Step away from the ideas of wanting and needing, put on your neutrality glasses and perceive the world as 2 simple things, conciousness and conscious expression. These are the only 2 things that drive experience itself.

Understanding that you are source, more things become clear. Where do all the stories of all the unfavorable problems in your life activate from? Where does the idea of good events activate from? Where is it that any form of knowing come from, you. Whether it’s about struggling with money, or about someone loving you, the story or ideas, conjure from you.

We already know that we are conciousness, but now let’s acknowledge the second mosy important part, reality begins at us, draw yourself into something that you don’t really like, something you’d like to change, now notice where it activates from.

From knowing. Knowing the idea or story is its creation

Now when we see it casually, as just another thougt about something the world is showing us we brush it off and move on with our day, until we have to face that thing, but, what if this was actually in reverse?

Because if everything is an expression of source, doesn’t that mean the world is too? It would have to be. Doesn’t that mean, anything registered by the senses has to abide by its source? And doesn’t that mean, that the world is not truly something of its own will?

The short answer is yes absolutely. And I can tell you, this is it. THIS WILL BE VERY F$&#*NG IMPORTANT.

Admitting to the idea that there is one source for everything is literally acknowledging that everything can only show up IN ACCORDANCE AND RESPECT TO WHATEVER ITS SOURCE IS.

THIS MEANS, the the world is a PROJECTION of source, IT DOES NOT STAND ALONE. It does not OPERATE ON ITS OWN.

The world is the projection of consciousness.

Following me??

Like a hologram, like a school projector QUITE LITERALLY a projection.

From us, an infinite array of stories and ideas come, and they only become activate or exist if we allow them to, if we give permission to this thing to exist.

That story that you’ve had about SP (Specific Person) or Money or Success, has always been activated by you. TELL ME WHERE ELSE IT STARTS. You can literally even prove this to yourself right now. WHERE DOES THE STORY BEGIN.

And because the world is just an expression/extension of its source (YOU) it is ONLY GOING TO BE WHAT SOURCE IS. Because it is source, just with senses and perception. It is coming face to face with what you are aware of.

The way the world shows and all of its details are projections of whatever you decide to activate. How do you activate something? BY KNOWING IT.

How do you know “red apple” ? By knowing it. That is the origin for this idea. And you can run this test for every single story you play on loop, find its source, it will always be you.

Now, for the important steps moving forward. Stop treating this like an on and off switch, truly stop caring about a feeling, stop letting yourself get so swayed out of understanding your identity as the source, do NOT give up this beautiful opprotunity just because it seems or feels different.

You’ve been taught for so long that the world has to be struggle, so that’s all you know, you’ve been told that things don’t always come easy, this is all you know, take the time, take the days and weeks you need to break out of this useless cycle of exhaustion and understand who you are as source

Do not double down on doubts, double down on the truth, regardless of how you feel, take your time to feel, take your time to be, but never allow yourself to slip back into the brainwashing of the world.

Moving forward you need to understand the world objectively, not with the ideas of wants and desire, but for what it is. Source can’t want, you turn it into desire by creating a sense of divide for yourself. You pretend the world is something to change, drop this. You pretend that the body is all you are, drop it, you pretend that there has to be more to this but knowing, DROPKICK this into the damn ground.

This all is very simple. Everything being the expression of source is only projecting what source (You) are. The world is a direct projection of conscious activity. Whatever is know is given permission to exist, it’s given life. It’s created. THIS. IS. IT.

Whether it be blue butterflies, getting a free coffee, or changing your eye color, it all is just knowing. And this isn’t something that turns off. This is reality, this is you. Start noticing the random things the world shows up as when you were just thinking about it the other day or a few hours ago. It is not a coincidence I assure you.

That friend you were thinking about calling you? Yeah.

That song you were thinking about suddenly popping up? Yeah

That “problem” you were thinking about suddenly reappearing? Yeah

It is all the same, yes it will take getting used to, but please understand me when I say this, it took me a painful amount of time and effort to finally see this as the truth, the amount of months I’ve spent isolating from content and other teachings allowed me to take ONLY personal experience, I tested it day in day out and this IS it.

Currently I expand my comfort on how seamless existing is, and I can assure you, if I can come to this conclusion, you 100% can because it has NOT been easy for me, and it almost didn’t want to accept it. But the moment I did, and kept seeing it to be true time and time again, I knew I had to go fully in.

You create the idea of wanting by doing this.

“I really want Sp to text me”

This is what you’ve given permission to exist, this is now activated, it now is conscious activity, and because the world is source projected with senses the world IS this.

You treat it like an absolute, but when it comes to something like this:

“Sp loves texting me”

You treat it as effort, and something to do and wait on. Now tell me, does that make sense? Does the idea of waiting, wanting, desiring, changing, even make sense with the knowledge you have up to this point? Nope.

You need to understand. The world is not a story, it’s projection, and it can only be projecting you. Stop turning to the world as if it can make statements, as if it’s feeding you ideas, when you’re the one activating them. You NEVER actually change the world, it’s you that activates a new idea. THATS IT. It exists because you know it. A feeling cannot stop you from knowing, the world cannot stop you from knowing, ONLY YOU can stop yourself from activating a story. A story can’t exist if it isn’t known.

So, don’t you think it’s about time you see past the illusion of wanting and see for yourself what you are?

Don’t you think it’s time, to wake up.

[eulaties]

general thoughts about the 2025 小红书 boom

i feel like we're at a really interesting point in time right now, particularly in regards to the shift in american consciousness + changing world order, so i thought it would be fitting to document my thoughts about the xhs situation as a chinese american. however, please note this post is NOT speaking on behalf of any community, and i am only speaking to my own personal opinions.

the good

american propaganda is getting dismantled in real time. there's so much cross-cultural communication right now in relation to america's political issues, everyday life, and what china is really like

im already seeing people starting to learn the language, becoming interested in visiting china, etc. and i truly haven't seen this kind of mass interest in chinese culture in a long time

to be precise, the last time there was really "chinese soft power" in america was during the mid-to-late 2000s. notably this time period included the 2008 beijing olympics which was monumental for china on the global stage, as it showcased their prosperity, openness ("北京欢迎你"), and equal footing in the modern world. ive seen people compare the xhs phenomenon to this event and while both are drastically different, i do think this is an apt comparison (though obviously this xhs thing is on a muchhh smaller scale...)

so many new friendships and connections are being made!

the bad

to add on to what op said, theres definitely a difference between just generally understanding that as diaspora, most people around you will hold sinophobic views about china and chinese people VERSUS actually having empirical evidence that most normal people didn't see chinese people as human before. its jarring to say the least. like everyone is praising chinese people on xhs now, but just last week everyone was fearmongering about us?? really reminds you that in the eyes of the public, favor for any asian culture (and by extension, its people) is fleeting and will often change easily with the season

and yes, its definitely weird to see people talk about chinese people as if they've never seen a chinese person in america before. like obviously there's a HUGE difference between mainlanders and diaspora, but there's also international students that come to america to study so... ??

the memes are funny, and i like how the people on xhs are playing along with them, but something about the "chinese spy" memes rubs me the wrong way. tbh, most mainlanders actually have a positive view of westerners and america, and if they don't study abroad themselves or know anyone that went abroad, they will never truly understand what it's like to be discriminated against simply for being chinese (there's a difference between knowing and understanding ofc; not saying that they're ignorant & don't know anything lol). this is just the honest truth, just like how i'll never understand what it's like to live and grow up in mainland china since im diaspora. anyways, i kind of question if mainlanders are actually aware of the loaded context behind those words. while americans are using the "chinese spy" memes as jokes now in reference to why tiktok is getting banned, it doesn't change the fact that many other americans truly do believe that there is mass chinese surveilliance/planted chinese spies in america (i.e., see modern-day mccarthyism, like how chinese researchers are often stripped of their titles/reputations, interrogated, and then silently deported). like language and framing does matter, and it has actually affected chinese people in america, but now you guys are treating it like a joke?

anyways, even with all of the bad there's still overwhelming good that has come out of this, and i do feel like its better to be more positive than negative about these things in the long run! who knows where tomorrow will take us but at the very least i hope everyone actively continues pissing off the american government 💖 amen

[creatingblackcharacters]

Black Character Design Poll: Event Rules

I am an avid lover of graphs. I like numbers, I like trends and the absence thereof. I like the mindsets that make people make decisions, I like recognizing the biases, both conscious and unconscious, in sampled populations. I like how you'll always gain some sort of answer, even if it's not the one you expected (it's the scientist in me)! Best of all, I like making people question themselves! So... Why not a poll?

This is going to be a TWO-PART event. The first portion is going to ask the First Question, starting Sunday April 13th and I will stop taking submissions Saturday April 19th. The second portion is going to ask the Second Question, starting Sunday April 20th, and I will stop taking submissions Saturday April 26th.

See below the cut to find out all the details!

The goal is:

To see how different groups feel about the same character design, specifically Black audiences

To make participants question how and why their own beliefs may be affected

When I tell you "consider your Black audience when you create Black characters", that's not me pointing you to an amorphous concept- I'm talking about real people who are looking at a work! And very often, we find out that a creator's intent, versus a particular audience's perception, are not on the same page. That's not always a bad thing, nor something we can always control. But sometimes, it can reveal some lack of understanding, or biases we aren't aware of. So let's test that out! Let's have that conversation!

Submissions:

You will be submitting characters! There are three things requested in an ASK format:

A good, clear picture of Black Character from the Source Material

Black Character's Name

Title of Black Character's Source Material

DASSIT! No, I don't want leading arguments or why you love them in the ask. I will delete it. Let people make their own conclusions!

Responses:

Your options will be "Peak", "Mid", and "Nah".

Answer honestly and instinctively! If you thought it was great, choose that! If you thought it was ass, choose that! Don't let a need to "look nonproblematic" or "to be nice" affect your answer. Just take the time to consider why your opinion may be different from others. This is an opportunity to consider something new!

That being said! I'm not arguing or doing discourse with y'all in the comments or tags- I'd have to keep up with far too many conversations. Think before you speak! That thought that you think might be racist- you do not have to say it!

I will be organizing responses into three groups of viewers: "White", "Nonblack POC", and "Black". One, so that the Black voters have a little more chance to be seen (and we're not like, 97-3 every time 😅) and two, because sometimes I think people of color assume they are immune to antiblackness. I want everybody to think!

Do not send me an ask or message telling me why you're uncomfortable and why you think I shouldn't ask these questions. It's meant to bring people out of their comfort zone. Considering that you may have a different perspective on the presentation of Blackness than an actual Black person is not a bad thing, and no, it's not causing racism to have a conversation about why that may be an issue. Just don't participate.

I will add the questions and rubric in a reblog- stay tuned!

[krystella-shifts]

Ignoring symptoms/outer world and detaching while entering the void state

So I got this question & post idea in my DM and it's a great suggestion cuz I personally used to struggle with that and seen others struggle w/ it too.

So y'all are focusing too much on the 3d AND the thought that you are focusing on the 3d and that you shouldn't focus on the 3d. How to detach from it?

1. First of all stop focusing so much on the thought/belief that you ARE focusing on the 3d and to enter the void you HAVE to NOT feel it AT ALL cuz if you while inducing think like "ok I feel this symptoms but I'm also hearing this and why do I still feel my pillow" LIKE DON'T. Just relaxxxx we're not telling you'll to relax for nothing! Cuz I realised form my experience that if I stress that my family is being loud or if I'm feeling symptoms and that i shouldn't move AT ALL (as if I'm in some statue statue game olympics 🗿🥴) it brings my focus back on the physical world. But when I am relaxed i just don't give a fuck. Think about the time you were SO tired after a long day of being outside and you just wanted to go home and sleep, when you finally got to go in bed did you have any care in the world what's going on in the 3d? Ask yourself

2. You have two rooms if you don't wanna be in room A you just go in room B. Be in 4d to not be in 3d. Like as simple as that. Think, affirm, daydream whatever the fuck you do like literally have a party in your mind i don't care as long as you're not aware of the 3d anymore! You know what works best for you. You do not have to follow a damn method EXACTLY step-by-step. Make it your own. For me I can't only affirm and be only in the 4d cuz it's daily life for me to affirm so what I do is affirm while imagining or just imagine. And many time when I wasn't even trying to induce but was just imagining scenarios to sleep i wasn't aware of the outside world at all. Sometimes while thinking myself to sleep i felt whatever I was seeing behind my eyelids literally form and become more vivid as if I was actually in front of it (it was fun ngl 🤡) so yeah basically do what works for you. I can't tell you what works for you, no one can. Only you. (I wEnT cRaZy OvEr YoU)

3. For some people it can be fear. Fear of suddenly having everything they want (unlike what the damn bitch society have told everyone) so just accepting if you have this fear and telling yourself it doesn't have to be hard, painful the way society told us, everything is meant to be easy and just flow for us. Or your body/mind might be scared of "leaving" your body here or find it unusual but regardless telling yourself and body "you're safe, I am safe" is a great way. Writing down your fear and tearing it can also help.

Understand actually having it/ being in the wish fulfilled state

So you said you're in the void in the 4d but asking for help, even tho I obviously don't mind helping at all, you wouldn't be asking for help if you were actually in the wish fulfilled. F the terms you ARE actually in the void. I'm not just saying it as an aff or whatever. You actually are in the void 25/8. The void is within you. The void IS you. It is YOUR God state. Wdym you have it in the 4d and not in 3d??YOU JUST HAVE IT. You don't TRY to get into an awake or asleep state you just are in it when you are. Void is just like a mix of both being aware but asleep. You're not entering some completely different realm you are going within. When you force yourself to sleep you're just becoming more and more awake. But when you just let it happen it not only happens, it's effortless. Why treat Void state any different? It's not some magical thing getting you your desires YOU ARE. you can manifest anything in awake state too and you are the one manifesting in the void so don't put it on a pedestal please.

Nothing is holding you back from inducing the void state. If you believe nothing is, nothing is. Nothing can. Nope not even the 3d, not even the doubts. The law is always working. Stand in your power.

- Krystella

Wow this is something I needed to hear myself in my journey (i'mma pat myself on the back) thank you for the person who suggested this idea and let me attach the ss :D I'm grateful to be able to help! Feel free to ask. Thank you for reading !

Happy living our dream life 🥂💋🩷

✿˖˚ ༘𐙚

[bennetsbonnet]

I came across this screenshot of a YouTube comment about Pride and Prejudice on Pinterest ↓

Ordinarily, I don't go out of my way to pour scorn on other people's interpretations, and certainly not without good reason. But this one really, really irked me.

I don't know what's more depressing; that someone interpreted Mr Darcy and Elizabeth's dynamic in this way, or that 12,000 people apparently agreed...

...because there are two major problems with this interpretation:

Firstly, Darcy is an asshole.

Secondly, he's very much not a stupid man.

This isn't just my opinion. This is canon.

Elizabeth doesn't think Mr Darcy is a terrible person because she happened to feel like it one day. Darcy gave her every reason to think he had absolutely no redeeming features. I mean, their very first interaction, before (contrary to what adaptations portray) they had even said a single word to each other, was when he insulted her.

Not only that, Darcy knew what he was doing, as this excerpt from chapter 3 proves:

'Turning round [Darcy] looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said: “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me.'

Darcy wanted Elizabeth to hear him. There is no mistaking that. Yes, Elizabeth should have listened to the repeated warnings she received from others that Wickham was not all he seemed and that, perhaps, Darcy wasn't so bad... but you can completely understand why she was prejudiced against him. I wouldn't forgive someone saying something like that about me in a hurry.

There are other examples of Darcy's rudeness to Elizabeth. His tone of voice is described as 'grave' and 'cold' when they dance at the Netherfield ball in chapter 18; when he visits Hunsford Parsonage in chapter 32, he ends their exchange in a rude manner '[Darcy] experienced some change of feeling; he drew back his chair, took a newspaper from the table, and glancing over it, said, in a colder voice: “Are you pleased with Kent?”' and there are too many examples in the proposal in chapter 34, but for me the worst is, 'towards him I have been kinder than towards myself.'

If a man implied that separating my beloved sister from the man who loved her, was kinder to them both than the agony of him proposing to me... well, I don't think he would've walked away from that exchange. Elizabeth Bennet you are a better person than me.

Regarding the other point: Darcy's intelligence is never questioned. In fact, the narrator devotes time to ensuring we understand that in chapter 4:

'In understanding, Darcy was the superior. Bingley was by no means deficient, but Darcy was clever. He was at the same time haughty, reserved, and fastidious, and his manners, though well-bred, were not inviting.'

Again, this man knew exactly what he was doing. He wasn't sorry about any of it, and he certainly was not 'internally crying.' Mr Darcy was a conceited, spoiled rich man who needed to be made aware of his flaws and reflect on them in order to become a better person; or at least, improve enough that he ceased to give the impression that he was not, at his core, a compassionate man with many great qualities.

At the same time, Elizabeth was not a poor, innocent angel who was slighted by a man and who subsequently never did anything wrong. She didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of Darcy's unpleasantness, no; but she, too, was absolutely blind to her own flaws... until she read Darcy's letter.

I just think that if you don't grasp this fundamental aspect of their respective personalities and subsequent interactions, then how can the payoff possibly be satisfying?

Pride and Prejudice is, amongst many other things, a story about two flawed people whose love for the other shapes them into the best possible versions of themselves. It's really beautiful and it's a shame to think such a key part of it is being misinterpreted.

[thewritingfairy]

↪ 05. Tim doesn't understand you

inspired by acid-ixx, rizzanon and nikovraskol

PREV PART trigger warnings: medical + emotional + physical neglect, Stephanie and (Name) don't mix, misgendering (reader isn't out to the bad family yet), shouting, manupilation attempt, shouting, filler chapter main m.list      series m.list

Tim doesn’t understand you, he doesn’t understand why you were never told about their ‘nightly business’. To him you seemed the most trustworthy, the best at empathy and quite frankly the least problematic one, so he doesn’t understand Alfred’s anger. He doesn’t understand why he shouted at you the minute you walked through the door, he doesn’t know what to do except just stand there as Stephanie comes to look for him. They were supposed to play video games, after all. “Geez, Alfie is really laying it into her,” she comments, popping some popcorn in her mouth. “nice, finally it isn’t one of us.”

“Alfred,” You interrupt his yelling, painfully aware of how Stephanie and Tim are watching you two. “you lost the right to be concerned over me a long time ago.” Those words brought tension in the air Tim had only ever felt at his home. It was the tension of anger, righteous anger. Anger that Tim knows all too well. “I was spending time with my friends, my family.”

Those words made Stephanie scoff; “Hey genius this is your family.” But Tim knew better, he just hadn’t calculated that their neglect would harm you this much. He wants to keep you safe, but, oh he should have stepped more after what Jason did to you.

“Is it?” You ask Stephanie. “Oh, Stephanie, you of all people should know that blood doesn’t equal family.”

Alfred grabs you by your pulse and you try to pull it back instantly. “Your anger has become childish,” he hisses, squeezing your pulse tighter and Tim notices the way your eyes become numb. They look like those dead eyes Kon-el always show’s him (the clone had always been worried about not looking like he was human, even with all the reassurance that he is). “I am disappointed in you, and you will apologise to miss Brown.”

Tim turns to Stephanie as he sees her nostrils flare out, she’s furious. “She’s right,” he whispers to Stephanie, and she looks at him betrayed.

“This is not you, (Name),” Alfred scolds you, his voice harsh and unfamiliar to not just your ears but Tim’s as well. “where has my sweet girl gone, where has she disappeared to?”

“Let me go, Mr. Pennyworth,” you say, your voice shaking but steadfast at the same time. “you lost my trust the day you let Jason beat me, but you started losing me long before that.” You finally get your pulse lose and step back, the glare you had on your face was one that the whole family had only seen twice. It was the glare you had given Damian when he attacked Tim, just after he attacked you, and it was the glare you gave the family the day Jason beat you. “I was never that easy, I made myself that easy so that I at least got your affection!”

You were shouting back at Alfred, and to Tim it felt like the dam finally broke.

You could be strong and still feel hurt, you could be strong but still tell Alfred the truth without faltering.

“Be glad I haven’t showed anyone the scars that Jason gave me,” you laugh out. “I didn’t press charges, because I couldn’t. And I am too tired to even think about that man,” Stephanie and Tim were frozen. Tim felt like they were intruding, but Stephanie wanted to see how this would end. After all, to her you were just throwing a tantrum about the past. “I could ruin your precious Wayne family by just leaking a few photos. But I haven’t, don’t make me change my mind.”

Alfred says nothing. He was taking your threat seriously, but Tim knows better. He threatened the same so many times, this was just a method to make Alfred back off. Threats were the only way to make this family listen to you. Tim feels guilty, but what can he do?

“She wouldn’t, right?” Stephanie asks. “I get that Jason messed up but isn’t this too far?”

“She doesn’t have all the context,” Tim couldn’t help but defend you. “how can we expect her to understand when she does not know the full story?”

Stephanie hums. “I guess that’s why she made that comment about my dad, huh.”

“Yeah,” Tim agrees, just to placate her. “she was beaten to the point she couldn’t leave the house for almost a year. I think (Name) is rightfully pissed still, she was attacked in her own room. And the last things she had gotten from her mother were destroyed by Jason.”

While Tim understands your anger is righteous,

he doesn’t understand you, for that he has to know you and he never took that chance. Oh, how many chances you have given him, them.

But if he was to try now, would you still let him after all this time? Would you still accept him when you realise that he neglected you because he thought that was better for you? Would you protect him again if you knew the truth about why he kept you in the dark. Would you view him different from the rest of the family (and team). Would you love him? Would you be siblings?

Would you let him in so that he can learn to understand you?

 NEXT PART this isn't my best work, but I got the motivation for this chapter idea again thx to the ask about Tim. 

Taglist: @prettiest-thing-in-the-morgue, @shadowytravelerlover, @1abi, @leeiasure, @frank-vanderboom, @stove-top96, @amber-content, @lithiumval, @bunniotomia, @chericia, @marsmabe, @cssammyyarts, @lingxio, @foolishseven, @kore-of-the-underworld, @bunbunboysworld, @homeless-clown, @alwaysholymilkshake, @miashico, @kittzu, @ironsaladwitch, @pix-stuff, @hopingtoclearmedschool, @icefox8155, @seemee3, @nxdxsworld, @princessbonnie-bell, @kenman00001, @exactlynumberonekryptonite, @welpthisisboring, @devotedlyshamelessdetective, @rtyuy1346, @lilyalone, @lettucel0ver, @dirtydiavolo, @leogf, @trashlaternfish360, @itsberrydreemurstuff, @plsfckmedxddy, @cheappremingerfromdelululand, @smithieandy, @xzmickeyzx, @holderoflostmemories