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#hhhhHHHGHGHHHHHH
charliespringverse
·
10 days
Text
i think it should be possible to scream without making any noise or disturbing anyone or inviting any questions . just sometimes . as a treat .
#hhhhHHHGHGHHHHHH
#jay screams into the void
#(deeply personal rant incoming feel free to ignore)
#a friend of mine has just been undiagnosed with bpd which . lovely for them but it sure as fuck invites a Lot of questions
#suddenly a great deal of previous shitty behaviour that was excused on the basis of bpd has a lot more to answer for
#(obligatory I Know BPD Isn't An Excuse To Treat People Like Shit . im aware . i have bpd myself and i have v high standards re my behaviour)
#(however allowances were made bc they were unmedicated & out of therapy through no fault of their own)
#(and our whole group has enough experience with untreated mental illness to understand that it can make u a bitch sometimes)
#but yeah no there have been a LOT of instances of b&w thinking + manipulation + unfair judgement + high emotion + snap reactions
#and every situation Could be explained by untreated bpd and the bad times have never been prolonged or often enough to outweigh the good
#but Hoo Boy if that wasn't bpd then what the FUCK was it
#like either the new psychiatrist is wrong (possible but i seem to be the only one questioning it) or they're just Like That
#and again . not enough to outweigh their numerous positive and loveable traits
#but the whole group has been destabilised on a number of occasions due to their actions during a bad spell
#and i'm really not sure Any Other Explanation is enough to justify that
#ah well . this seems like the kind of thing that will eventually come up during a sleepover heart to heart
#but rn i'm stuck in a bubble of MAJOR rsd & brainfuck abt it . which is unfortunate bc now is exactly the time i Don't need brainfuck
#anyways ✨ goodnight tumblrinas i am . kind of hoping nobody read this bc i fear i sound like a bitch
#i am genuinely happy for their undiagnosis it seems to have put many things into perspective for them & theyre v happy about it
#i'm just . uncomfy w some aspects of it that i have only been halfway brave enough to discuss with them personally
#That's One To Bring Up With My Therapist In A Few Weeks
#Bit Of A Shame I'm No Longer In Therapy And Now Have Only 2 Quarterly Reviews Left Before I'm Discharged From The Service
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