#I WAS GOING THRU IT OKAY!!!!!
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secret rendezvous
#my art#kh#xehaqus#hey everyone i rendered!!! a background!! wrow#embarrassingly watched all of dark road again thinking i wouldn't feel NOTHIN#had to draw them Kissin....#i've had a fic idea for Years and went back and rewrote stuff and it's like 12 pages now LOL#and an old playlist...#I WAS GOING THRU IT OKAY!!!!!#if people care for my thoughts or snippets i guess i could share#posting at midnight bc i can't believe xehaqus has a grip on me goddammit
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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They're at a cafe on a rainy day bc.. I want to sit at a cafe w someone and just vibe tgt
#jon is just scrolling thru tiktoks while damian is talking about whatever#also the way they look in my art constantly fluctuates bc for some reason I do a lot of experimentation with them as the subjects#like what do you mean I drew a whole background HUH? I hate to work hard!#i consider going back to rework some previous pieces because my learning has been large over this last month#I'm really really loving how my art looks these days fr tho#i think it feels very pretty to look at :)#anyway no more art for fun and leisure I HAVE A BIG COMMISSION TO DO đđđ DON'T LET ME DRAW FOR FUN GUYS đđ#art#digital art#fanart#screentone#manga style#illustration#jondami#damijon#damian wayne#jon kent#jonathan kent#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne#also the sketch layers for this were so bad I didn't even put them in the digi sketchbook HAHAHAHAHA#maybe I'll fish them out tomorrow#might be kinder to myself then!#also.... the way I draw hair at the moment? freakin nice I love it#they're both having hot chocolates btw#me vs everyone should drink hot chocolates actually#also do Not Look at the shoes I know I need to do shoe studies I KNOW. OKAY. I know đ#jon tilting back his chair and slouching hard bc uh yeah he absolutely is doing that#also as always I don't know how to draw children so they're young adult age đ#yes I know I have to study how to draw children but please forgive me I am just so silly
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feeling very soft for them lately
#really and truly they just need a moment (or a few years) of peace#also in their future in a time of tolerance#and they could be together#and I cry for them often#their story is a tragedy#I want to cry again#LET THEM BE HAPPY AND IN LOVE#going thru the stages of grief rn#okay goodnight#house md#gregory house#james wilson#hilson#greg house#hate crimes md#hatecrimes md#house#hugh laurie#house md fanart#my art :3#traditional art
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I think theyâre crushing on each other your honor
#localgardenweed#the weed is rambling#hetalia#hws#hetalia america#hetalia russia#hws america#hws russia#rusame#amerus#hetalia england#hetalia france#hws england#hws france#fruk#ukfr#hetalia x codename: kids next door#hws x cknd#hetalia au#theyâre way too silly i needed to let it out okay#Alfred doesnât wanna admit he kinda likes Ivan just a teeny weeny bit#Ivan is all over him he wants him to like him even just as friends#Francis and Arthur are totally like dating or smth but they dont know it yet#on and off relationship and theyâre like barely in the 5th grade or smth dawg#they grow up to be that couple in school whoâve been dating for like years and air their laundry in the hallway#Alfred has internal homophobia heâs going thru it#WHY WAS THIS ON MATURE HELLO????#SORRY ABOUT THAT
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â even the gods bleed [ pt 4 ]
{â} characters arlecchino, furina, lyney {â} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {â} warnings blood {â} word count 3.7k {â} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ]
Fontaine was bathed in darkness, not even the moon daring to illuminate where the common man fears to walk. The streets were bleak and empty save for the constant, rhythmic ticking and clanking of machines marching on endlessly, dauntlessly wading where even the bravest dared not to venture. Not even the sharp click of the Gardes boots followed the occasional hisses of steam as they walked the barren streets.
It was haunting, and it'd been like that for days now. It showed little signs of stalling in the slightest, too. Every inch of Fontaine was practically crawling with Gardemeksâ like a swarm of rats skittering about.
Arlecchino had secluded herself in the Hotel Bouffes d'ete for days at this point, waitingâ biding her time. Her nails clicked against the wood as she tapped at the table in a stilted rhythm, the subtle click of the clock mixing into the clanking outside, weaving in and out of earshot as the patrols slipped by. She reached forward after a moment of thought, reaching for the white king.
She leaned back against the chaise, tilting her head just enough to catch a glimpse of a patrol of Gardemeks as they vanished behind the rows and rows of buildings. It wasn't enough to keep her attention for long, however, her features twisting in disinterest as she glanced back to the chessboardâ and the letter neatly resting beside it. The seal was unmistakable and a sobering sight, demanding her attentionâ the soft hues of blue etched into the shape of a dragon stared back at her in a way that almost unsettled her.
She had already parsed through it's contents hundreds of times, but she was met with only vague, flowing script that only served to irritate her more then anythingâ it filled the page top to bottom yet managed to say nothing at all. Her hand reached out again, but instead of reaching for the letter she plucked the black rook from the board, setting it down with a soft click.
Arlecchino had all the time in the world to sit back and observe her prey, but all that time would be useless if she lacked the information to act.
And he was quite tight fisted about it, evidentially. None of her inquiries or attempts to decipher any potential codes in the letter left her empty handed. She could not act without even knowing the reason for his summonsâ it was almost worded like a personal affair rather then one would expect for a foreign diplomat. In truth, she'd expected a scalding report on her operatives, but it lacked any mention of anything of the sort.
She was no stranger to people masking hostility behind pretty words and compliments, not that it was ever unwarranted per seâ the Fatui did not create connections through honesty and genuine kindness. They have strong armed more then their fair share of people into cooperation to the point distrust is all the Fatui are met with outside of Snezhnaya. Every word was meant to conceal the deceit, every action meant to conceal the price later paid.
So she had been..skeptical of the letter, to put it lightly. She doubted the Iudex of all people would offer a hand to the Fatui without a price attachedâ a trap, perhaps, meant to lure in the most powerful piece left on the board. Her eyes narrowed, reaching for a white rook and moving it to the right.
Or he was hiding something. Something that he simply couldn't risk getting out to anyone, not even the Divine themself. A tempting prize, whatever it was.
..A dangerous prize, too.
She'd considered burning the letter and forgetting it all togetherâ the risk was great, and she couldn't risk getting caught up by whoever else the Iudex may have on his side of the board. But she could hardly pass up the challenge and the prize that he fought so hard to keep from prying eyes and ears. Even her agents came back empty handed each time. She lazily picked up a black rook, sliding the white pawn aside.
"Lyney," Arlecchino drawled, crossing one leg over the other and turning her gaze to the door as it slowly creaked open. The pale visage of Lyney stepped through, though his siblings were noticeably absent. The weariness that weighed down on his shoulders was apparent in the slightest furrow of his brows and the subtle creak of leather as he clenched his fists behind his back. "Father." He choked out, the title dragged out by the sharp inhale and shaky exhale.
He looked out of breath, she noted.
The silence that lingered after the small exchange was punctuated only by the click of another chess piece being moved. She sets aside the black rook, letting it sit among the dozen other pieces that had been wiped off the board. She can see the conviction glinting beneath the fog of exhaustion, but if he would utilize it was another matter all together.
He had seemed to make his choice quickly, at the very least.
"Our contacts and operatives within the Fortress of Meropide have gone silentâ all we have is their final confirmed missive.." His voice is confident, but it is rigid as the words spill from his lips. He takes a sharp step forward, unfolding his arms from behind his back and opening his handsâ the small, water stained and messily folded note catches her eye, plucking it from his palms with a half hearted interest. "They believe the Duke left the Fortress of Meropide..and that he may be coming to the Court of Fontaine."
Her eyes narrow dangerously, nearly crumpling the thin paper in her handsâ yet just as quickly, she collects herself.
But she cannot get rid of the bitter taste on her tongue, lingering as she sets down the note and slides it to the side, her lips pursed into a thin line.
So the Iudex had shown one of his pieces..she tightly grasps a black rook, tipping over the white rook, letting it roll against the board.
If the Duke was involved, things were much more complicated then she expectedâ he would be a problem, she was certain. She couldn't blame the lamb for fearing the wolf, either. Whether her agents had been killed or captured by the man mattered little. He had his ways, and he was a force that could instill fear in even them.
Which meant the possibility that her operation was already compromised was far too real.
What had the Iudex so concerned he had gone through the trouble of bringing in the Duke and herself? The Fatui was one thing, but to specifically request one of it's Harbingers..
The Prophecy? The thought had her clenching her fist, but..no. If it were to rear it's head now, the Iudex could simply not afford to waste time on his contacts deciphering his nonsensical scriptâ If the prophecy were to be the issue, there time would be limited to mere minutes in the worst of cases. Which meant it was worth biding his time in order to ensure absolute secrecy.
So if not the prophecy, then what?
Her next moves were..limited. She was already walking on eggshells considering her position and the reputations of the Fatuiâ especially with a Harbinger in the midst. If they caught wind of her operations, they'd weed out her operatives and be on guards for any snakes that lingered in their garden.
She reached for the chessboard again, picking up one of the white rooks from the board with a scowl. The sharp click as she sets down the white rook and sets aside the black pawn draws a shaky inhale from Lyney as she moves another black pawn, the dull click of the pieces drowning out the distant clinking of machines.
..A draw, perhaps.
The pieces were all falling into placeâ the players of this game were slowly being revealed. Whether she could secure her victory..she was unsure.
She wasn't even sure who her opponent was. Only that the Iudex himself was but another piece in their game.
Arlecchino reached for the board again, yet this time she hesitated. Perhaps she could still swipe the win from beneath them, if she played her cards right.
She would simply have to capture the kingâ or, if need be, let it end on a draw. Either way, she would not concede. She could not afford to concede. Down to the last piece, she would drag out this match until she was in a position to force their hand into the outcome she desired.
She stood slowly, picking up the king piece and observing it for only the briefest of moments before she set it down on the table, taking measured steps around the table and across the room. She was hunting a much more dangerous quarry todayâ it would be no simple runaway traitor this time.
"Do you remember the directive?" She inquired coldly, her hand lingering on the door for that long, tense moment. "..Yes, Father." Lyney faltered, taking a hesitant step back and bowing at the waist. "Then do not stray."
All that was left was the silence and click of the door shutting behind her as she disappeared down the hall, her boots clicking harshly against the floorboards. The rest of the agents knew better then to linger in her path as she stepped down into the lobby, adjusting the cuffs of her sleeves. She barely even acknowledged the Fatui agent standing at the ready by the heavyset doors, their gloves hands held out with her cloak held loosely in their palms. She quickly snagged it from them, tugging it over her board shoulders and clasping it around her throat.
With a quick tug, she brought the hood up over her head to conceal her sharp features, lifting her hand and placing a neatly folded note within their waiting hands. She had only one chance to make the right moves and secure her victoryâ no matter the cost.
Each piece had it's purpose.
Oft, that purpose was a bloody and horrible endâ but for the grand goal of the Fatui built on the backs of the dead, it was an honor.
She didn't bother speaking a word as she dismissed them with a wave of her hand, pushing open the heavyset doors and stepping out into the barren, damp streets. The rhythmic clink and whir of Gardemeks was still distantâ she needed to move. Her boots clicked and splashed in the rain soaked stone of the streets as she slithered between the buildings, ducking through the openings in the patrols.
It was almost too easy.
She tilted her head back, taking in the towering Palais Mermonia with a scowl, her hands clenched into fists. The final moves were being playedâ the king was within her reach, yet she felt no more confident then when she began.
The air carried a sense of unease, thick and heavy, filling her lungs until she felt her breath still in her chestâ listening to the empty, bleak night that seemed so..quiet.
She'd done her fair share of research, had more then her fair share of her agents try to peer into the Iudex's office or the Archon's supposedly hidden chambers, but every attempt was a failure. She had to give them credit, they were quite elusive when they wished to be. Though now she only thought about it bitterlyâ this was all a risky gamble, in the end, and only time would tell if it paid off.
With minimal effort, she'd managed to pull herself to the flat, tiled roof, eyeing the massive tower peaking out of the center cautiously. At least here the wandering patrols down below weren't likely to notice her..she could hear them passing by the spot she'd been in only a few minutes ago, just beneath her. She pulled the hood further over her face, peering through the sheer darkness of the night for any oddities, but it was almost impossible to see in the dark.
Her boots clicked softly against the tiles as she approached the tower jutting out from the Palais, her hand gliding along the smooth stone, pressing against odd indents or crevices. If it was for the Archon's chambers, she doubted they made it very difficultâ she'd only met the woman once, but she doubted the Iudex make it all that complex just from a brief glance. And it surprised her little when one of the stones sunk into the wall, gears whirring as the walls split open to reveal a stairwell straight into an inky black hall. Only the barest hint of light peaked under the door at the bottom, but it's occupants must have heard her, considering it went out not a moment later.
She cautiously stepped down into the small crevice, her breath visible in the bitter cold airâ her shoulders tensed at the subtle sound of muffled footsteps behind the door, her vision flaring with a molten heat between her shoulder blades as she reached for the worn handle of the door. The heat of her vision was enough to just barely heat the metal, her vision flaring like a quickly building inferno.
Arlecchino was prepared for a fight, if it came down to it.
The door creaked as she pressed against it, shoving it open with a grunt of effort and surveying the room with narrowed eyes and a biting remark on the tip of her tongueâ the lavish opulence was expected, she supposed, but the lack of the towering figure of the Iudex was not.
Yet before she could get a word in or even take in her surroundings properly, the light flickered back on and she had to squeeze her eyes shut with a hiss at the sudden brightness. She could hear the door being shoved closed behind her, the hurried footsteps retreating just as quickly as her eyes adjusted to the light.
..This was a joke, wasn't it? It had to be.
She'd expected the Iudex, perhaps even the Duke if she'd been unlucky, not the Hydro Archon. She had half the mind to test her worth as an Archon then and there, her temper flaring like an uncontrollable blaze, barely kept at bay. It took all her self control to force herself to smile politely at the woman rather then snarl.
"Miss Furina," She sneered beneath her hood, x shaped pupils locked onto the startled, trembling Archon with thinly veiled contempt. "What a..pleasant surprise. You'll have to forgive my manners, I assumed I was meeting with the Iudex." She observed her body language carefullyâ the way her eyes darted about like a frightened rabbit seeking escape, the slightest tremble of her lips..
Arlecchino opened her mouth to offer another scathing remark, but her jaw audibly clicked shut as her entire body seemed to lock up. Even her vision went cold against her back, a chilling feeling creeping up her spine as someone, or something, crept up behind her. Their footsteps were almost silent, the slight rustling of their clothes the only thing she could hear over her heart pounding against her ribcage.
Arlecchino had always prided herself on being on the other end of that sensationâ she was the monster, and her target was the prey frozen like a deer between the hunters crosshair.
It was a chilling feeling to have the dynamic shifted on it's head.
She couldn't even swallow, her jaw clenched so hard she could hear it creak as she tried to reason with her quickly splintering mindâ a futile effort, her joints locking up almost painfully. Black spots were quickly swallowing her vision from the lack of air in her lungs, the sound of shuffling behind her barely audible over the ringing in her ears.
For a moment â a moment too long to have only lasted the seconds that it did, yet so quick it gave her whiplash â she thought she would hit the floor dead before she could even glimpse her assailant.
And then it was gone. She came crashing back into reality with a startled inhale, her lungs burning and her knees nearly buckling under her. The instinct to lash out and kill whoever had done it was intense, yet she couldn't bring herself to move even a fingerâ it would be so easy to twist around and ignite them with searing flames, but her feet were rooted in place.
She almost didn't notice the surprisingly gentle hands unclasping her cloak, tugging it off her shoulders, if not for the sheer intensity of the presence still lingering behind her. Her mind was still fractured, struggling to right itself after the ordeal, and it had her seething.
"..Are you certain you held back enough?" Furina croaked, the normally soft lilt raspy and almost hoarse. "Notâ not that I doubt your capability, most Divine!"
Arlecchino felt her nails dig harshly into her palms, heat swelling beneath her skinâ Divine? Had she lost her mind? The Divine was..
The Divine was upon their throne where they belonged. She'd seen them!
"Hm. Well, maybe? Sorry, I didn't think it'd affect you too." Their voice was sickeningly soft as they stepped around her like she wasn't even there, focusing their attention on the Archon who seemed more then delighted about it. "What gave you that impression, most Divine? Aha, I..was completely unaffected, as you can see! Perfectly fine."
Furina let out a small squeak when they pinched her cheek, but the almost affectionate smile that tugged at their lips revealed the lack of malice behind the action.
"You're a bad liar, Furina. You might want to sit down..please?" They didn't take her protests for an answer, gently pushing her to sit on the bed before abruptly turning to face Arlecchino once more, a forced smile on their lips. "Oh, good, you're..uh, not dead. That's good. I thought I fried your brain. Sorry?"
..Had she hit her head on the way here? The Divine should still be on their throne, yet she couldn't shake the weight of their stareâ it felt tangible. She felt like she was standing face to face with the starsâ galaxies and constellations bearing down upon her.
She grit her teeth and clenched her hands until she felt the sting of her nails against her palms, grounding herself in the pain through the sheer overwhelming nature of their existence.
"You.." She croaks, reaching out with a shaky hand and grabbing them by the collar of their shirt, lifting them up until their feet left the floorâ she pays no mind to the startled protests of the Archon. Arlecchino would crush her like a bug before she even got the chance to intervene and they both knew it. "You shouldn't existâ you aren't them, and yet you..you're the imposter, aren't you?" Her grip tightens yet they face her without an ounce of fear, meeting her unyielding glare with a pondering look.
Arlecchino wanted to make them bleed just to see if she could, the urge to sink her teeth into skin welling up in her chest to the point she visibly snarled, her mask of politeness long . "You're the imposter." Her expression falls for a moment before she schools it into one of apathy, setting them back down and holding them there for a moment, finally releasing them after a tense moment. "Or you were supposed to be."
Hers brows furrowâ she wants to demand answers, to throttle them for damning them to being nothing more then dolls for the supposed Divine to break at their whim, but none of the words come to her.
"..Why now? The current Divine has been in power for years, yet you descend now?" Her shoulders tensed, lips pursed into a thin lineâ it's impossible to ignore the truth that lay before her. The Divine is a fraud and this..imposter is the true Divine. How many years had they been in power, now? How many years were they waiting? Why did they wait? Was the suffering of Teyvat not enough? Was the blood that painted the steps of their stolen throne not enough?
She'd personally been on the wrong end of the Divine's wrathâ she wonders..had they watched? Had they seen the cruel hand of their imposter and turned their back on Teyvat?
"I.." They hesitated. It made her seethe, her hands clenching into fists at her sidesâ her vision flickered, flames swelling within it's casing just to be smothered by the presence of the Divine. But once that spark had been lit, she refused to let it go out. "I didn't know."
The answer does not satisfy her. There is an itch beneath her skin that she cannot scratch, a fire that burns in her chest so hot it scorches even herself.
"And what about now? Are you content to cower like prey in the safety of the Palais Mermonia?" She snapped, taking a step forward, her brows furrowed and her glare intenseâ she can see the slightest bit of worry in their eyes. She revels in it. "Will you let them use your acolytes like pawns? How many more need to be broken on the steps to your throne before you act?"
Again, her vision flares and dimsâ it refuses to be used against the Divine that created it.
"Have you no answer?"
The room is silent. They do not speak and neither does she.
Even the world itself seems to quiet in the face of her accusations, fury boiling to the surface so hot it incinerated all it touched.
"I will kill them myself."
Their words are quiet, but they are not softâ there is a vindictive, searing anger that explodes out like dying stars within their eyes. The sight of constellations replaced by a void that would not be . The smell of ichor grows strongerâ to the point she feels almost lightheaded.
"..I am aware that I have failed in preventing this, but I had no choice in the matter. Still," They muse, their voice like the tolling of bells. A solemn melody that stills the swelling fury burning in her chest, if only for a moment. "I will rectify itâ I will tear down their throne of lies and let not even the earth tarnish itself by burying their corpse among it's soil."
They pause for a moment, holding out their handâ scarred and bandaged by the weapons of the devout, yet still they take upon the burden of dirtying their hands to save those who did not save them.
"Do you trust me, Arlecchino?"
Did she?
"Will you help me?"
She exhales heavily, meeting the starry iris' of the Divine with a scowl still tugging at her lips. Arlecchino trusted no one but herself.
"..Yes."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#imposter au#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#arlecchino#lyney#furina#you do NOT wanna know what i got put thru writing this fic#trying 2 find out where arle was in the few times we DO see her and going down a rabbit hole of fuck fontaine and its layout actually!#I spent like 3 hours looking it up and checking in game it gives me a migraine thinking abt it. ew#anyway trying to write a really smart character is surprisingly difficult when ur as dumb as rocks#also used an actual chess match for this and gave myself an even worse migraine trying 2 make sure i didnt repeat moves or smth#furina doesnt get a spotlight yet just imagine her sitting in the corner trembling like a wet kitten you found on the side of the road#arlecchino goes thru a crisis more at 11#shes a tired single dad shes isnt getting paid enough for this okay#hands u a fic over half the length of the other THREE PARTS#ehe :]#is arle actually on ur side??? is she gonna double cross u???? who knows!!!!!#shes unpredictable she might stab u for funsies#anyway im gonna go nap in a ditch now this took SO LONGGGGG OH MY G-D#also just think acolytes who arent buddy buddy w reader and even resent them is so tasty#bc how r they supposed 2 know reader was a human vibing 5 minutes before their got eebied 2 teyvat..#reader gotta roll up their sleeves and get 2 WORK sometimes murder IS okay#they gotta fix some shit around here and that means committing several crimes all at once. sometimes more#a group can be g-d (just got here) their dragon (neuvi) their cat (archon) their dog (wrio) and their wolf (arle)
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day 129
so was anybody going to tell me @adorkastock had their own random pose generator now or was i just supposed to find that out on my own
#day 129#year 5#aradia megido#homestuck#so hey genuinely i think adorkastock taught me to draw???#well among other things obviously. BUT.#in high school when i was just starting to like. understand anatomy as skill that i could Actively Practice#instead of just drawing whatever the hell i wanted and hoping it looked okay#i spent entire art classes just TEARING thru their deviantart page and drawing my blorbos in the poses i found#because my art teacher didnt know what to do with me since i was blowing through all the regular assignments WAY too fast#so she really just let me go nuts#and this was still homestuck mind you. like. it was 2013-2014 i was very much in the rabbit hole already#so fundamentally i have changed as a person in the last decade but also no i havent#ANYWAY it was adorkastock and line of action that basically got me Actually Improving at art at that point. cant recommend them enough trul
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iâm looking at steam reviews for the new planet coaster and reading comments on them and the amount of people saying things near identical to this are insane
since when is a 1.0 full release expected to have bugs and issues ?? since when do we accept this ?? a full release is meant to have zero bugs and issues, actually. itâs not a beta, itâs not early access, it should be Finished, polished, cleaned up of all that stuff, ready to receive updates with new content if the devs choose. iâm just gobsmacked that decades of games being busted on launch has just led us to people finding it so normal itâs expected.
you shouldnât expect games to be fully functionalâŠ. you should expect to buy them at full price and then wait weeks or more for the problems to be ironed outâŠ. apparently. according to these people
what happened to demanding better man. what the fuck happened. why yâall complacent now
#fray.txt#iïżœïżœïżœm so disappointed in GamersTM#even with datv like iâve had mutuals with bugs so bad they fall thru the fall their rook resets to default they go BALD???#at least one mutual has had their saves go completely corrupt for no reason and were forced to restart after dozens of hours#i had a bug where i was reset to level 1 after levelling to 28 and when i speed levelled up from increased exp i got double perk points#like why is bullshit like this acceptable⊠why are buggy games full of issues okay now kshskssjsk#you shouldnât expect to pay full price for a busted game btw. you deserve better. itâs ok to think you deserve better#fall thru the floor* oopsies
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2023 Brazilian Grand Prix - Sprint - Fernando Alonso
#yknow i thought maybe id get immune to his insane level of attractiveness from this weekend after posting so much#but these had me going: 'WHAT THE FUCCCCKKKKKK' super hoarse LMAO#im so confused at him. he was very cute and angelic in the earlier interview and now he looks like this???? unfair.#theres something about a man trapped by the sleeves of his racesuit....#okay anyways this should be my last work of the day actually#i have to go do a school thing so i shant be online...probably#BUT AH NO SERIOUSLY ITS BEEN SSO FUN YESTERDAY AND TODAY!!!#like it really is a reward after suffering thru all his races since zandvoort basically#but mostly cota and mexico killed me but this wknd has reminded me how fun racing and f1 can be#thank you everyone for being so fun hehehe#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#2023 brazilian gp#we do a little bit of f1
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listen. listen, there's a kind of intimacy in having a dedicated rivalry, okay. who else is going to know you like this!!! also it's funny
Ascanio Maria Sforza: la parabola politica di un cardinale-principe del Rinascimento, Marco Pellegrini
Julius II: The Warrior Pope, Christine Shaw
and on della rovereâs soldier comment:
Popes, Cardinals and War: The Military Church in Renaissance and Early Modern Europe, D.S. Chambers
and finally! regarding the delightful Mess of political-family relationships, including the marriage comment (altho the montefeltro family that giovanni married into did have sforza family ties, since giovanna's mother was battista sforza, but this is about the more immediate alliance based relationship and della rovere's hand in the rejection of a milanese match for his brother. and. this is not even remotely a serious comic, but now I am once again thinking about insular all these families are. the fucking medicis are here too, if you go half a step to the left on della rovere's family tree)
Julius II: The Warrior Pope, Christine Shaw
Giulio II, Il papa del Rinascimento, Giulio Busi (Bianca Maria Visconti is Ascanio's mom. btw)
panel inserts of the cards they're playing with are all from the Visconti-Sforza tarot deck! (I used public domain scans/photos for the comic itself)
ko-fi!â bsky â pixiv â pillowfort â cohost â cara.app
#weeping. ascanio's dialogue covers up della rovere's sleeve collar. i spent all that time drawing details on it and FOR WHAT#(it was fun)#there was another deleted bit where ascanio has some petty line like 'i bet arguing makes you hard' but then i realized#that's something that lucullus would probably say to crassus and also i need to set that line up for ascanio#we gotta. we gotta character build (lays down face in the ground) we have to provide the character set up for it#it's really more of a line for cesare to drop at some point over how much rodrigo and ascanio argued#shout out to the time rodrigo threatened to throw ascanio into the tiber river or that time ascanio like. decided to physically get into#a fight with juan borgia#and they were still gambling partners after that????? damn okay. sometimes the vice chancellor can be (checks note) im not finishing#that statement#komiks tag#italian renaissance tag#ascanio sforza#giuliano della rovere#i WILL get a relationship dynamic tag for them once i can figure out something punchy and fun. anyway!#ehgh. I NEED. to go to milan. and go thru the archives. let me in. LET ME INNNNNNNNN
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What if Rubyâs the master?
option a: the master's pretending to be a maybe human named ruby bc they nearly got to be a companion with o but ended up found out (literally bc of their own dramatics but whatever) and now they're just seeing how far they can take it lmao. every time they start to get worried that the doctor might be getting uninterested they press a button on their perception filtered portable weather manipulation device(tm) and make appropriately confused noises at the sudden snow while mentally high fiving themselves over having made such a op oc. also the thought of the doctor falling for their companions no matter who they are fills the master with indescribable rage so they made ruby a platonic friend except now they have to watch the doctor flirt with a whole fucking pantheon of gods(?) and they wish they were dead. no they still won't tell the doctor anything bc fuck you that's why. there are zero problems with this situation at all and it will never end badly đ
option b: fobwatch. the master wakes up and is like hey. hey doctor stop crying for a second. Am I A Fucking Teenager
#asks#anonymous#doctor who#ruby sunday#15 thru tears: i'm going to miss ruby so much#the master: okay but do you still have acne???? no?????? then shut the fuck up. I'M the one who should be crying. ME#also fun fact i have a martha is the master au. bc i thought it'd be funny. and then it ended up incredibly angsty. which IS funny!
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Rosebird Week Day 6: First & Last Kiss đ„
"The Lovers II" - Rene Magritte (1928)
#rwby#rosebird#raven branwen#summer rose#rosebirdweek#you know what they sayyyy. start of fall is the... the uh. death of summer đ„Žđ aheem heem. whimper.#just one example of the endless painting redraws trapped in the confines of my mind. what will i put them thru next? đ#idk what else to say. may the red spider lily agenda consume us ALL *drill sounds* *screaming* *chainsaw revving* đ„đ€©đ„#pick ur poison vamp au bear trap or angst central tactical nuke đ„đŁ either way there is no antidote goot bye đđ§Ș#okay anyway i'm finally free from the grip this wip had on meee. back into the lake i go đ€đ#my art#collective
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Malleus having older sibling trauma. Malleus resenting how Lilia is able to openly express being Silver's parent but had to keep Malleus at arms length because of their roles. Malleus having to know someone who was presumably initially very cold and softened only as he was growing older while Silver had a very openly loving father immediately. Malleus being the child who taught Lilia how to parent and love. Malleus never feeling like Lilia truly loved him after seeing how he was able to love Silver. Malleus loving Silver because they're brothers and at the same time resenting him for having the father he always wanted.
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst spoilers#am I projecting? yeah definitely#but honestly I feel like it could be really interesting in relationship to how Silver and Malleus perceive each other#what I hate is when people make Malleus ridiculously jealous of Silver though#like do I think Malleus resents the relationship between Silver and Lilia to an extent?#DEFINITELY! But again TO AN EXTENT#Malleus isn't going to hate Silver for this lol he knows that doesn't make sense#he still loves his brother yk#but yeah Malleus not being able to openly experience love and then Silver receiving allat has got to sting#his role as prince determines he will always be held at a distance from his world and that's best conveyed thru his relationships with dias#especially as a child with lilia#anyways I also dislike Maleficia and the BV senate because it's definitely their fault such roles even exist between Malle and everyone#okay that's. ramble done.#twst malleus#malleus draconia#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#twst lilia
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just want to lay on ur chest and listen to ur heart beat
#ya...#they're okay. they'll be okay#newmann#newt x hermann#newton geiszler#newt geiszler#hermann gottlieb#pacific rim#pacrim#charlie day#my art#yall i am going THRU it#these sstupid scientists r keepin me afloat ngl
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EVIL 4.08 â How To Save A Life
#evil#evil series#evil paramount#evil cbs#kristen bouchard#david acosta#eviledit#tvedit#userlanie#userveronika#useralf#tuserjana#usert#kallypsos#evil gifs#*mine#THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT HIMMMM#help send help help me i need help#ben is literally like what if your visions arent real and kristen is just looking at him so lovingly and sympathetically#bc even if kristen doesnt believe in all of this - she knows david does#and shes so sympathetic to what hes going thru despite not really understanding it bc she knows how much it all means to him#UGHFJFGHFD netflix pick up this show before i actually die of an aneurism#ANYWAY. I LOVE THEM.#i love ben too okay but this aint about him right now!!#otp: i wish i had two lives#flashing tw
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five stages of adeuce ft the trials and tribulations of ace trappola
#twisted wonderland#twst#adeuce#ace trappola#deuce spade#cereal tries to draw#ummmm. teehee.#jumpscare i spent more than an hour on something#i still. absolutely rushed thru but i mean i did some of it yesterday and some today#for SEVERAL hours#but i am so very busy and have a lot i need to do so i had to just#GET IT OUTTA MY SYSTEM one less thing to think about#but listen listen to me i love adeuce i love them so much theyre one of my og twst ships#and i love their ride or die bestie bond with yuu and grim it's SOOOO CUTE#i also love first year squad and i love basketball brothers and i love heartslabyul family#deuce is eating an egg in that first panel btw. sorry i dont know how to draw. well anything but especially silverware#and also hands. oh god. bu it's OKAY i dont HAVE TO make things PRETTY im . trying new things here.#IM TRYING I AM LEARNING IM EXPRESSING MYSELF VIA. IDK BLORBO SILLIES#ok that's enough going thru it in the tags i love my silly sons i hope u love them too#bc i need more adeuce FOREVER !!!!!!!!!!#directly inject heartslabyul content into my brain please theyre my favorites forever and ever and ever#[smash bros voice] NO CONTEST#ace and deuce have such a funny relationship. like why are you like that LOL kjdfldsjfkls#ace writing a Get Out Of My School letter to juice. real 2 me. i made that joke for jamil/azul once#but it's true for anyone at nrc i think actually. ok that's ENOUGH i need to go to BED GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also i was gonna use text tool to also type the dialogue but it looked weird n out of place w/my sloppy drawing so i had to freehand AGAIN#SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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