#I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE WOMEN ARE.

[devotedlystrangewizard]

"being autistic is about being bad at reading social cues" "being autistic is about stimming & sensory overload" NO.

this is autism.

[hollis-art]

fem hilson is attacking my brain like they're seagulls and i happened to bring food to the beach,,,

and in regard to my original fem hilson post where i mentioned that wilson for sure had an impulsive pixie cut that she very much regretted:

women,,,,

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[hard--headed--woman]

we seriously need a bigger movement of women refusing to date and have sex with men right now ; feminism won't get anywhere as long as women do not take this kind of radical actions. i know it's a complicated topic since even "radical" feminists on here think it's too much and won't do it but i believe it's essential for women's liberation.

making sure men have access to women's bodies is the patriarchy's priority. in its head, that's what women are made for. that's why we are born. we exist to sleep with men - or should i say, to let men fuck us -, to marry them - become their servant and private prostitute - , to give them kids. it's one of the roots of the patriarchy. if we want to destroy the patriarchy, we have to destroy the roots. we have to destroy this root.

in history, feminism got somewhere everytime women took big actions against the patriarchy. posts are good, little actions help, but we need to make real noise. de frapper un grand coup. this way, we will be safer, and the patriarchy will be severly wounded.

[biracy]

I can't remember if I've posted abt this before but regardless: I'm sorry but I really and truly cannot get behind the idea that there is any wide-scale societal "pressure for trans men to be feminine" or "to be twinks" or whatever. You are either conflating a very small online community's beauty standard (usually some kind of transmasc pseudo-appropriation of "femboy" aesthetics, which yes, are often Bad and regressive and fetishized and etc.) with Mainstream Society, or confusing society not wanting trans men to transition with "wanting trans men to be feminine", which are certainly not the same thing. Ultimately if a cis person believes there is any validity to the concept of being trans (i.e. not a Posie Parker-esque "there's no such thing as a trans person" type), they are more likely to think that trans men should be like as masc and buff and hairy as possible or whatever bc that's what cis people think men look like and it's easier for a lot of people to recognize someone who Looks Masc as a man. It is difficult sometimes to see derision of trans guys who are Too Feminine and Not Hairy Enough or whatever (which is not always something someone has control over btw) as anything but "this is Skye who I think is a confused little girl because Skye does not pass" slightly restyled for 2023 "filthcore fagdykes" or whatever lol

[iwriteloveletters]

every time i see someone say that (anime character) would only like white women an angel loses its wings why are we limiting drawings to eurocentric beauty standards let the drawing like latinas yall 💔 and poc in general lmfao stop limiting them !!! ur fucking weird !!!

[torahtot]

you can always tell when someone doesn't have maga men in their life and god it makes me angry.. "if you're nice and compassionate you can be the one woman that makes them realize women aren't mean!" my mom bent over backwards for my dad for 25 fucking years he has plenty of other women kissing his ass and it never changed anything. do you really think that before being radicalized they never knew a single kind woman? they were never friends with a nice girl? alt-right men's problem with women isn't just that they've experienced too many mean women and they need to be shown that women can be nice, it's that they think women are inferior and don't deserve rights and don't understand anything so you can do what you want with them. and it takes a lot more than being nice to show someone that you aren't inferior. this isn't a case of being nice even when it's hard for the sake of deradicalization, it's about spending every fucking interaction with someone trying to get them to see you as a human being with value and a functioning intellect while they just laugh and show you that's never going to happen.

i cannot stress this enough: random women are not just going out and Being Mean to men. ur average guy interacts with plenty of women throughout his life- close women amongst their friends and family, casual interactions etc. most people don't start out being shunned by women, they start out being treated as NORMAL. & when they show their disrespect in normal society, it isn't tolerated, but when they go to alt-right spaces (which they're pushed towards online) they're told they're allowed to be as horrible as they want with no consequences because they're entitled to everything. it isn't "women aren't welcoming and the alt-right is so friendly so i'll become alt-right," it's "women don't let me disrespect them and the alt-right tells me fuck them, do whatever you want, you're entitled to it all" and why would you choose the group where you have to be a normal accountable person when there's a group that will reward you for being a shithead who gives no fucks?

the alt-right can afford to be more friendly and welcoming because they can allow bigotry. this can't work the same way for progressive spaces because we can be as kind & welcoming as possible but at the end of the day we have lines where we have to say "this behavior/speech isn't allowed in this space," and for certain people, that just can't win against a space where you can be as nasty as you want. these posts always end with a disclaimer saying "of course being kind doesnt mean you need to tolerate their bigotries" but what they don't realize and what drives me crazy is that women not tolerating bigotry IS the "women are mean" that radicalized them in the first place. they perceive you pushing back on any bigotry or bullshit as you being a meanie and treating them like they're ontologically evil. the 'kindness' they need to be deradicalized is you letting them walk all over you.

idk what the answer is to deradicalizing them and im sure relationships are part of it but you can be as kind as you want and all it will do is destroy you ime. i cant stand to see people (who have never even successfully deradicalized any man by being nice btw they always speak in hypotheticals and not from experience) double down on telling women to do things that will see no results and only hurt them, especially when any woman who has tried can tell you exactly how it went

[joshuamj]

Was trying to use some color in my few remaining sketchbook pages, and i really like this Mira, so here tumblr u get a special treat that my other socials dont get <3

[starwikia]

suicide cw

look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am. 

ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.

this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.

He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!

you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.

it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions. 

what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT. 

am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!

yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).

The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.

[janaknandini-singh999]

[every-sanji]

[dykedvonte]

Something something perhaps the reason Curly lacks a truly undamaged ID where his face is visible is to represent how much damage Jimmy had already affected on him throughout their relationship and the way Curly obscured part of who he is and what he stood to unintentionally cater to this toxic influence in his life.

[possamble]

I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way

[openphrase123]

what are you trying most to communicate in inutile? like, what themes, concepts, emotions do you intend to convey?

so i don't want to show my ENTIRE hand with inutile. and i'm sure the mystery is part of the Fun of it. so instead of me spelling out everything one-by-one. for now i'm just going to ask You a bunch of questions :) and i hope you have fun extrapolating based on how you answer these to yourself!

(one day i will likely do a post-mortem on inutile and what Exactly i was doing. i usually do that for fics. but until then.... here :3)

weird to say but uh. spoilers for my fic below. also isat spoilers. but i feel like if you're reading my fics and isat spoilers bother you then there's another problem happening

so the first thing is just taking inutile at face value - it's a mirabelle looping fic with a few canon divergences. but also if i wanted to do that straight i could have just started with the loops. there's nothing in inutile i've brought up that couldn't be explained in a few flashback chapters, so at first glance it's like... why?what's so important about following mirabelle this far back from canon?

you may notice that siffrin in this fic is being set up with INSANE main character energy. in-game they're written primarily like they're a late-game addition to a long RPG. but in inutile it's like. ohhh you're literally a star from the sky you're so special you're cool and mysterious. you have beef with the euphrasie and the king pre-canon. and yet this entire thing is from the mirabelle POV.

it almost makes you think. why does mirabelle have to be here for this? if i'm worldbuilding the islanders as being Cool Literal Sky People what is mirabelle here for? why is she necessary?

hm. moving on.

yes, she's necessary because she's a sponsor, isn't she? but she's not a sponsor because she's special. she's the one that called siffrin down to earth. she was lonely and dragged someone out of their home to be her friend. siffrin kind of needs her to function, and because she can't help them function in the capacity she's supposed to, he's basically going through a non-looping version of act 5 in the house.

if mirabelle ever learns about this and can hold it in her head for long enough to consider it fully, how do you think that would affect her?

anyway.

so you have a Literal Star From The Sky and Some Random Girl From A Small Village. and the two of them are supposed to be friends.

mirabelle has a lot to see in siffrin. they're cool, they know lots of things, including an entirely forgotten form of craft! they're magic and they help her even if it hurts him to. he's literally here on earth to help her be less lonely. that's their job.

but what good does siffrin see in mirabelle, past the fact that he's written to be magically inclined to seek her out?

one day, this fic will have mirabelle leave the house.

blessed by "the change god", followed by a star, joined by someone who's better at changing than her, someone who's better at craft than her, someone who's better at keeping the team happy than her.

it almost seems like she's... extraneous. unnecessary.

useless.

and that's what inutile is about.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 20 thoughts

(author's note: this review is going to mention rape and reproductive coercion at the end, as it is a plot point. just a head's up in case you forgot what goes down in this episode. no hard feelings at all if you skip this writeup, but i will have an attempt to summarize my thoughts on the matter at the end, and why i felt Uncomfy)

but now we go back to me from yesterday, who did not know what was in store… take it away, past juni:

i’m really excited!! i’ve heard this one is more light hearted, which i have been looking forward to immensely. 

reading the description. tracking a shapeshifter sounds like a real headache.

let us not delay any longer!!

oh god, are we gonna open with someone giving birth? yes, we are.

nooo this poor woman, ms. nelligan, has to answer questions while in labor… please do not tell me this happens in real life!!!!

she can’t seem to give info on the baby’s father. interesting. oh! he’s from another planet. well! i guess there’s someone for everyone.

ohhh she is screaming. good lord. this is… giving birth is… it’s just… a lot.

but something seems to be wrong with the baby? the doctor is surprised when it emerges. well, maybe she has tentacles.

the baby is screaming which i think is a good thing for babies to do. but omg she has a tail!!!

“good lord, not another one” <- HEY WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??

is this hospital plagued by an alien fuckboy and his countless babies…? a nick cannon of the alien world, if you will…?

well the tail isn’t TOO bad, all things considered!!! i was thinking it would be tentacles. tail is actually kinda cool. maybe they can climb trees better, like a monkey or a squirrel.

hey the intro was different!! different from the USUAL different intro!!

“MONKEY BABIES INVADE SMALL TOWN” JHXJSHDJSJ THAT IS THE SHOT WE OPEN WITH??? (at least mulder is aware of how outrageous the imagery is)

the tabloid also says “michael jackson held captive by exotic pets” lmaoooo mulder only gets his news from the most REPUTABLE of sources!!!

scully is describing babies born with bonus appendages in such detail that i’m wondering if she’s dealt with them before or just had a hell of a time studying in med school. and she is so beautiful, even as she says words like “coccyx” and “spinal fluid”

FIVE tailed babies were born in the last 3 months, all in a small town. something must be in the water!!! or a philandering alien baby daddy!!

she says that there definitely needs to be some sort of investigation… but by the health department, and not them. which is fair. unless the health department is compromised!!! by aliens!!!

LMAOOO scully points out the “visitors from outer space” tagline on the tabloid interesting him and he smirks... yes, he did not just wake up one day deeply invested in neonatal healthcare. there has to be a UFO involved.

mulder is here with the mother who gave birth to the latest tailed baby, ms. nelligan. she says that the baby is healthy, “it’s just a matter of a snip” to which he responds “that’s good to hear” and i think he’s being genuine and is glad that the baby is okay, but i’m just dying at having to hear about someone snipping their baby’s tail off being part of mulder’s job. this is what they prepped these two for at the academy.

mulder is questioning ms. nelligan very gently and it turns out the father of said baby is NOT an alien, but he IS from another planet. and his name is luke skywalker. 

“did he have a lightsaber?” scully asks. “no, he didn’t bring it” (incredibly pained mulder shots) LMAOOOOO

hold on, i need a minute. she just asked if luke is the father of the other babies. scully is doing her absolute best to hold it together.

cutscene to mulder looking at the tailed baby in the window, but it kinda just looks like he’s here to pick up HIS tailed baby, and aww. give him a little tailed baby!!!

ohhh he was too scared to follow her into the room!!! 

the nurse explains that the answer seems very obvious but mulder doesn’t know wtf is going on and whispers “what answer” LMAOOO (i always love when he doesn’t know wtf is going on)

so did one guy with the same genetic abnormality father all the tailed babies??

ohhhhhh and mulder puts together that 4 of the 5 women were all receiving fertility treatment!!! is this doctor gonna go to jail??? because that seems illegal. 

ohhhhhhh there is an ANGRY crowd here at the doctor’s office and they WANT answers. 

these people follow some strange rules. having a baby with a tail = acceptable.

a bastard baby with a tail = CANNOT BE ALLOWED!!!

the latest mother didn’t even undergo insemination, so the doctor proposes that this has actually NOTHING to do with him!! he got off the hook with that one.

at the clinic, mulder is on the prowl. he finds some guy fixing the pipes. WITH WHAT LOOKS LIKE A TAIL REMOVAL SCAR!!!

and when he tries to ask some question this guy BOLTS!! but you cannot outrun mulder!!!

and GASP!!! this guy (eddie) IS THE FATHER!! of all the babies!!! he’s bitching about spelling his name wrong… bro you have bigger issues at hand. ur child support bill is going to be crazy.

he’s saying that it isn’t actually a crime, but they want to know how none of the women remember this happening!!! omg did he shapeshift into the form of the husband??!!

hey man i do actually think that is a crime <3 impersonation of someone’s husband def counts as rape because they did not consent to sex with eddie, they consented to sex with their husbands <3 if he actually did shapeshift as it seems to be leading to <3 please go to jail <3

“well if you’re waiting for my usual theory as to what’s going on, i don’t have one” says mulder <- LMAOOO nothing better than a guy who admits when he has no fucking clue

scully thinks he assaulted them (and she’s right- kinda shocked no one else came to that conclusion???) mulder asks how this could have happened if they’d never seen the guy before. but it’s enough to keep him in custody. and while this discussion takes place, the creepy eddie is watching him!!! please get him out of here.

he’s really looking at the cop who is writing up his profile… and then he shapeshifts into him!!! and knocks him out cold!!!

scully is at the scene the next day trying to figure wtf is going on and mulder rings the bell with a smile to summon her over HAHAHA awww she’s smiling at his antics <3

they find eddie’s clothes in the station, and when scully predicts that he’s about to say eddie must have transformed into his captor and knocked him out, mulder says “scully, should we be picking out china patterns or what?” <- LMAOOOO yes pls update the wedding registry!! i’ll chip in what i can

god why are they both so attractive. i’m gonna scream.

he points out that they have both seen shapeshifters before- and she asks if this means he thinks eddie is an alien.

oh, we never DO get an explanation into scully’s conceptualization of the shapeshifting aliens!!! man, i would love to ask her about that. maybe she thinks they can somehow alter your vision?? we need to chat about it.

i wonder if aliens aren’t off the table for her, at least anymore. maybe at this point some aliens are real but werewolves and stuff are just nonsense. 

so, off to eddie’s house. “hey scully, if you could be someone else for a day, who would you be?” “hopefully myself” “so boring” AWWW DON’T BE MEAN TO HER :( she is a great person to be!!!

AWWW SHE’S HOLDING THE UMBRELLA UP FOR HIM STOP… and he’s STILL TOO TALL so he’s hunched over 😭😭😭

is eddie going to turn into her… is this foreshadowing…

(author’s note: IT WAS FORESHADOWING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!!)

AWWW she settles on eleanor roosevelt (nerd! bisexual) and mulder says it can’t be a dead person BRO YOU DIDN’T EVEN SAY THAT THE FIRST TIME AROUND!! you can’t just change the rules like that smh…

ohhhh they find eddie’s dad!! and he has posters on his wall of him as “eddie the monkey man”! well good for him. make a living.

HDHSJDHDJ EDDIE SR ASKS IF THEY WANT TO SEE HIS TAIL AND SCULLY SAYS “NO. NO. NO THANK YOU” JUST AS WE HEAR UNZIPPING 

mulder looks a little bummed he will not see the tail

aww, he looks so dejected…. eddir sr says his son was begging him to remove the tail when he was a kid

and he said without the tail, his son was just small potatoes!!! haha you said the episode name

OHHHH he calls mulder by his name… and he says how tf did you know that?? eddie sr claims scully told him and he says “mm, no, actually i didn’t” LMAOOO CATCH HIS ASS IN A LIE!!

ah. so he must be the eddie jr DISGUISED as eddie sr. 

and he BOLTS!!! mulder is off to the races again, but eddie gets away

mulder and scully get sososososo close and i’m thinking omfg… then he USES HER AS A COAT RACK FOR THE BATHROBE EDDIE DROPPED BAHAHA THAT IS EVIL

ohhhh eddie runs home to one of the mothers whose baby has had tail surgery while disguised as her husband!!! and in the bathroom he turns back into himself. hmm. this would displease me greatly, finding my husband turned into a different guy.

back at eddie’s place, mulder knocks a bunch of stuff over and it clatters and he yells “I’M ALRIGHT”, but scully is downstairs and can’t really hear so she just goes “what?” and he does this annoyed little huff LMAOOO

he finds a bunch of quicklime in the ceiling…. that is being used to MUMMIFY a CORPSE????? with a tail…. REAL EDDIE SR???

back at the mother’s house, her REAL husband just came home, and is approaching where eddie is in the bathroom…… omfg…. they see someone in there. 

HE TURNS INTO MULDER???? JUMPSCARE!!!!!!!!

scully has the mummy in the lab and is sawing into him. there’s quicklime everywhere so when mulder comes in he covers his coffee LMAOOO i thought that detail was so funny

hard to tell what killed the mummy. “as far as i can tell, this man has a thin stratum of voluntary muscle tissue underpinning the entire dermal layer of his skin” <- now you might have to explain that one for the humanities girls in the audience 

“and thankfully, it’s preserved and intact” she says, as mulder snaps his foot off LMAOOOO HE’S ASKING QUESTIONS TO DISTRACT HER WHILE HE TRIES TO STICK IT BACK ON

HE JUST SETS IT BACK ON TOP OF THE LEG LMAOOOOO while proposing that maybe all that extra muscle could be used to remold his skin which is a BOLD hypothesis 

he hurries out the door before the foot falls off and then when it does she is SO baffled

back to ms. nelligan (luke skywalker lady). mulder pulls out a photo of eddie and asks if she recognizes him. and she dated him all throughout high school!!! and that he was an absolute loser.

mulder’s trying hard to get her to name some positive qualities of the guy and she says they’d watch star wars every weekend. that’s weird. that's suspicious.

he brings out a single rose from his jacket and says he wants to congratulate her 😭😭

WAIT IS HE EDDIE IN DISGUISE?? AND THAT IS WHY HE IS TRYING TO DIG UP WHAT SHE THINKS OF HIM?? OH SHOOT, IT IS!!!!!!

NOOO REAL MULDER COMES IN!!! 

AND THE OTHER COUPLE CALLS ASKING WHEN THEY CAN ENTER THE BATHROOM AND WHY DID HE TAKE THE HUSBAND’S SUIT LMAOOOOO NOOOO 

mulder is trying to track eddie down… and he finds a guy changing and locks him up LMAOOO but then the doctor is in there too so he locks them BOTH UP AND CALLS FOR SCULLY

lmao those poor guys…….. but he sees something flickering in the lights. and eddie says he is “a damn good looking man” and then jumps on him from the ceiling!!!

“mulder” (really eddie) tells scully that he thinks this whole case was a waste of time and i don’t buy it for a second. and he says “small potatoes” again!! ahhh dead giveaway!!!

but real mulder is locked DEEP IN THE BASEMENT!!!! NOOOOO 

he has a lunch tho… eddie was thoughtful in that one matter i guess

FAKE MULDER IS IN SKINNER’S OFFICE!!!! 

KNDJSHDJS skinner tells him he spelled “federal bureau of investigation” wrong LMAOOOO NOOO THE SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT. 

he’s all twitchy and he can’t sit still and is making strange faces and i’m gagging at someone playing a character playing a different character.

OHHHH FAKE MULDER PATS SCULLY’S SHOULDER I DON’T LIKE THAT. NO MA’AM.

he asks what she is doing tonight, and she says she’s writing an article on “diminished acetylcholine production in recidivist offenders” okaaaay published queen!! or is she lying to see if he’ll catch on…???

and he cannot get the door open because he doesn’t know which key is which LMAOOOO

but she says she’s going to go investigate the body instead. a STEM queen.

fake mulder is in mulder’s office looking around, taking a seat, falling off the desk, “this is where my tax dollars go?” lmao

he finds mulder’s address on his license plate and HAHAHA “WHERE THE HELL DO I SLEEP?” <- FINALLY THE COUCH IS ADDRESSED!!!

LMAOOO WE HEAR A MESSAGE FROM THE LONE GUNMEN ON HIS VOICEMAIL ABOUT GETTING A BIRD’S EYE VIEW OF THE ZAPRUDER FILM AND ALSO GETTING CHEESESTEAKS. AWW BOYS NIGHT!!!

he slaps the basketball around VERY POORLY I’M GIGGLING 

he has a voice message which i assume is a spam call? about. sexy voices. and lower rates. god, please let that be a spam call and not that real mulder calls NSFW phone lines under the name “marty”

(for my own sanity i am imagining that this is the 90’s equivalent of the 800 “sexy singles in your area” spam ads that infest your email because 1. i do not want that mental image and 2. cannot imagine someone from the FBI using their home phone, that has BEEN BUGGED IN THE PAST, for such purposes. nuh uh. no way. he HAS to be smarter than that. imagine how easy he would be to blackmail if that was the case)

and now eddie as mulder is practicing tough guy lines in the mirror and waving the gun around 

scully is at home reading!!!! on the floor. with her glasses on. how i love her. when she hears a knock. 

it’s mulder!!! but is it real mulder???? no, it can’t be. he brought wine!! real mulder almost never drinks!

WAIT i’m sad to learn that him smiling into her door that i’ve seen in so many gifs was not actually real mulder 😭

she pops the cork and she thinks that there’s going to be deep conversation OH NO “we never really… talk much… do we?” “what, you mean like really talk? no. no we don’t mulder” oh my god is she gonna open up…

(i proceed to make noises that have only ever been heard in wounded baby animals as i consider how excited scully seemed to have a night with the bestie with zero work and some normalcy)

AND SHE IS DRUNK YAPPING LMFAOOOOOO “marcus was the 12th grade love of my life” <- i’m writing that down

(notably, though, he keeps pouring more and more in her glass… and seemingly none in his)

“now i’m seeing a whole new side of you, mulder” “is that a good thing?” “i like it :)” 

OH GODDDD :( she wanted mulder to be chill SO badly

is he going to kiss her….. he’s getting closer and REAL MULDER BURSTS IN THE DOOR AND SHE SHOVES FAKE MULDER OFF OF HER

she did not even look like she wanted to kiss him at all……. she knew something was weird as hell

and he turns back into eddie!!! right there on her couch!!!!

NOOOOO DRUNK SCULLY??? I AM SO SAD YOUR EVENING WAS RUINED

mulder comes to visit eddie in jail in his “superstar” hat… and now he’s on a muscle relaxer so he can’t make faces. and presumably this also cancels out his shapeshifting talents.

“i was born a loser, but you’re one by choice” <- WTFFFFFFF???? (i think this was meant to be commentary on how he only focuses on his work, but it just felt… weird)

he tells him to live a little and treat himself, which i guess is something he needed to hear

“i don’t imagine you need to be told this, mulder, but you’re not a loser” “yeah, but i’m no eddie van blundht, either” (she doesn’t think he’s a loser‼️😭)

(thus concludes episode)

so wtf was that ending!!!!!!!!

if scully never opened up before she is DAMN SURE NOT GONNA DO IT NOW 😭😭😭 that really broke my heart. amazing mutual phoebe wrote a heartbreaking meta on the subject that pointed out how especially cruel it was to dangle the normalcy she has always wanted in the face of her own death in front of her just to rip it away. you should go read it; if i can find it again i'll link it in the replies.

the tone for this episode was definitely a lot lighter than usual, which i enjoyed for most of the episode. the comedic acting was really funny, as has been noted by others commenting upon this episode. DD playing someone else playing mulder had me losing it. he did it SO well, with all of the tiny movements, the way he slapped that basketball, it had me giggling.

but the last half left me feeling very icky. let's get into it.

eddie was a rapist, full stop. he is acknowledged as such in the episode, and it is mentioned that he was placed upon the sex offender registry. at first i was thinking that there was a sexy tailed alien having consensual relationships with all the women in town, which was funny. it became less funny when we learn what actually happened, but it became (to me) not funny at all when we see him try and rape scully.

if i’m supposed to just laugh that off, i’m not sorry, but i don’t find it funny. how eddie as mulder was getting her more and more drunk and then tried to kiss her, which she clearly did not want- it made my stomach turn. we don’t need to subject female characters to assault for the laughs. some may find this shocking, but it is true.

and the narrative attempted to make us feel sympathetic towards eddie, with his visiting ms. nelligan, asking for good things about himself, giving her a rose, and telling mulder to not be a loser. what was i supposed to take away from that? was i supposed to say “aw shucks, he may have raped 5 women and tried to rape scully, but deep down he’s just a softie”. BECAUSE HELLO? THIS IS NOT WHAT I AM THINKING!!

anytime rape is used for comic value, i have to ask if any women alive were involved in the writer’s room, and when the answer is inevitably no, i think about how we need to get them in there, stat.

but let’s be more specific. this wasn’t just rape; specifically, eddie was trying to get these women pregnant, all of which he succeeded at except for with scully. this comes down to reproductive coercion in ADDITION to rape.

i highlight this because a lot of scully’s story ALREADY is centered around reproductive coercion, with the whole abduction plotline. it’s something that has always made me uncomfortable, and i believe this was intentional on behalf of the writers, who are succeeding in their goal to make me uncomfy. scully's reproductive agency has been removed entirely with the procedures she has been subjected to. this is disturbing in an in-universe view, but from an outside view criticizing the writing, i find myself asking why a story must center around a woman's ability or lack thereof to have children, and having that agency ripped from her. because you know damn well that we wouldn't get that arc from mulder (even though frankly i think that would be fascinating). while i have my own complex feelings about the consequences of scully's abduction arc in that regard, i have a feeling that they will grow and change as i progress beyond the 4th season (and please- no spoilers).

but in this context, it makes the writers inserting attempted rape and a man trying to impregnate her all the more gross, because we have already spent time establishing that her bodily autonomy has been violated. while i can maybe find some deeper symbolic meaning in terms of it being the government slash aliens being responsible for that, this felt gratuitous or fetishistic.

i hope that explanation makes sense. and again, i expect my feelings to change on the matter re:abduction arc as i progress- maybe i'll hate it more, maybe i'll hate it less. regardless: rape. not funny. didn't laugh.

i posted a poll yesterday asking what people thought about the episode, and if it made them uncomfortable- the leading answer at the moment is that it was cringe but didn't ruin it for most viewers, which is totally fair. i'm down for differences of opinions, and the things that make me gag aren't always going to be the same as the things that make you gag. however, i do think i have a different viewpoint as i am of gen z age- the me too movement happened right as i started high school, and it shaped the way i grew up. it was an absolutely monumental shift that perhaps we now take for granted, but then i see stuff like this from before then, and i'm like ohhh. i forgot how things used to be. i'm lucky in that regard, to grow up in a space where those conversations have been taking place very loudly. and having grown up in that context, things from before can seem jarring.

that got more serious than perhaps you hoped for an x files episode review, but you know that is how i roll around these parts- terribly heartfelt in all regards. i don't feel a need to justify my dislike for the episode, but it left a nagging sensation in my side to put into words just exactly why is felt so icky. i hope i've been able to make myself understood. it started off fun and strong, but for me, that's gonna make it one of the ones i'm not sure if i'll rewatch. it started off so strong, so i'm conflicted on if watching it again would spark joy or i would just dread knowing what is coming.

but now we need REAL mulder and scully hangout time. i want to know what happened to marcus. need a sleepover fic. i will daydream about this at work instead of making my bosses money.

[wimpy-imp]

I remember many times when my grandmother would make off hand remarks about how testosterone would make me look like a joke. that it would be funny and unnatural for someone like me to have a beard.

before that i remember my mother outing me to my grandparents without my knowledge or consent. and then having to sit with both of them on different occasions for a year while they tried to tell me i was just a masculine woman. One where they thought it was okay to ask if I'd get pregnant if a potential partner "really really wanted it 🥺" (Which. sidenote. what the actual fuck??)

i remember the day after one of those conversations my mother took me into town for a "suprise" from my grandma. and they tried to make me get my ears pierced. even when i said i didn't want to. the only reason they stopped was because i had an autistic shutdown in public and they were too embarrassed to keep trying to force me into it. That happened 2 years ago. i have very real trauma from that day.

They never cared about my gender nonconformity until i came out.

They still seem to believe that I'd only be a man if i actually secretly hated myself.