#I Hope they find the reason why am like this

[thewritingfairy]

↪ 06. Your first day at work!

Inspired by acid-xx, rizzanon, nikovraskol

PREV PART trigger warnings: medical + emotional + physical neglect, misgendering (reader isn't out to the bad family yet), filler chapter main m.list      series m.list

You hate feeling angry, you hate feeling so tired. But you would always feel like this, well as long as you are in this house at least. You hate feeling like your own pain was nothing but just a pinch of salt compared to your families suffering. But that’s why you got a job, and that’s why you are pulling yourself out of bed. That’s why you are holding yourself together besides the anger raging inside your body.

That anger is the reason you are taking care of yourself, that anger will keep you going for years to come. Even when it disappears. You’ll live on your own and your mind would be your own. Your resentment and anger will no longer keep you in your bed, hiding under your covers.

You are just going to do what you wish for, and today that’s making a breakfast for yourself and get to work.

So that’s what you are doing, ignoring how Tim stumbles in to make some coffee, only for him to sit at the table and scroll on his phone. “You look fancy,” he says, and you sigh. You didn’t want to talk, but of course the day that you dress up for your job Tim decides to have a conversation with you. “are you going anywhere?”

So that’s what you are doing, ignoring how Tim stumbles in to make some coffee, only for him to sit at the table and scroll on his phone. “You look fancy,” he says, and you sigh. You didn’t want to talk, but of course the day that you dress up for your job Tim decides to have a conversation with you. “are you going anywhere?”

“I’m subbing in for a friend at his work,” you lie, brushing some of your hair behind your ear. You just hope that this was the last of his comments.

“Nice of you to do,” Tim mumbles, he knows you’re lying but then again, does he have any right to call you out? “how late will you be home?”

“I don’t know,” you snap, smacking the pan you’re holding down on the counter. “Why do you care?”

Tim doesn’t flinch him, he doesn’t even look up from his phone as he spoke; “There are rumours that the Joker is out and about.”

“When isn’t he?” You mumble, shoving your food in your mouth. “I’m not scared of someone knock-off clown.”

Tim sighs; “Just be careful.”

You roll your eyes, at least you got breakfast and you took your medication. “I’ll be safer out there then here.”

You could see Tim wince, at least someone feels guilt in this household.

The restaurant was coming along nicely, the sign looks pretty and the building looks a lot cleaner then the first time you were here. You just have to find the employee entrance… “Over here!” you suddenly hear, your head snaps back and there was a young man. His eyes kinder and his posture’s relaxer then Bruce when he plays up the playboy Brucie persona, it makes you nervous. He’s too relaxed for someone working for Penguin... “Yes you, Mx. (last name)! I am your trainer~!”

You hum as you get closer. “You know my name,” you start as you hold out your hand. “but I don’t know yours.”

“Well,” he grins. “you can call me whatever you want, ignorance is bliss isn’t it, darling?”

NEXT PART Honestly, I had a health thing during the holidays, I am mentally checked out with my mom and I just wanted to write something light hearted and short. So here, hope you enjoyed it<3.

Taglist: @prettiest-thing-in-the-morgue, @bunniotomia, @devotedlyshamelessdetective, @princessbonnie-bell, @seemee3, @pix-stuff, @venomsvl, @amber-content, @stove-top96, @frank-vanderboom, @leeiasure, @1abi, @shadowytravelerlover, @chericia, @lithiumval, @lingxio, @cssammyyarts, @marsmabe, @foolishseven, @kore-of-the-underworld, @bunbunboysworld, @homeless-clown, @miashico, @alwaysholymilkshake, @1cxndy, @kittzu, @rtyuy1346, @exactlynumberonekryptonite, @hopingtoclearmedschool, @artistwithcreativeburnout, @alishii, @vanessa-boo, @holylonelyponyeatingmacaroni, @91-kya, @ryuushou, @jjsmeowthie, @justthere1956, @depressed--therapist, @xzmickeyzx, @cheappremingerfromdelululand, @plsfckmedxddy, @itsberrydreemurstuff, @trashlaternfish360, @leogf, @dirtydiavolo, @lilyalone, @welpthisisboring, @kenman00001, @nxdxsworld, @icefox8155, @ironsaladwitch, @holderoflostmemories

[rwshfordgirl]

Wicked Game

"i never dreamed that i'd love somebody like you."

where they love each other

pairing: pedri x reader!

a/n: cutiest one for me omg!!! hope you enjoy it.

𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐥 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬✮

Pedri's bedroom floor was your place of comfort, every time something bad happened it was there that your mind rested. It even seemed like that room was outside of Earth's orbit and that Pedri was like an angel, sent from the divine realm with the task of taking care of you.

But every touch, every word of his, was capable of inflaming a feeling inside your body. Every time Pedri's soft lips touched the top of your head with the intention of comforting you, a feeling grew inside your chest.

"What's going on inside your head?", his fingertips brushed against yours.

Pedri rarely keeps you company on the floor, he is always in bed, asking you every minute to join him. But you always deny it. Today, strangely enough, he lays down next to you, your left side pressed against his right side.

"A lot of stuff.", your voice came out almost as a whisper.

"Don't let bad thoughts eat your brain, beautiful.", he touched your chin.

You smiled weakly at him, "those aren't bad thoughts."

Pedri was curious, "so what are they about?"

You sat down, Pedri's eyes followed your every move and his fingers were always searching for your skin.

"About you.", the words came out of your mouth again as if they were being whispered.

"Are you thinking about me? From the look on your face, those aren't good thoughts.", he frowned.

You looked at him, a little desperate to explain what was going on in your head, even though you didn't know for sure, "no, silly...I would never think bad things about you. I have no reasons."

"Then why am I eating away at your brain?"

I took a deep breath, trying to find words that would be able to explain what I was feeling correctly.

"I.", you whispered again, this time it was involuntary, which made you start again and use your normal tone of voice, "listen, Pedri. I loved meeting you."

He smiled slightly, but waited for you to finish your thought before speaking, "you are so special, so handsome, so incredible... I think I could spend a whole afternoon praising you. But every time I come here, every time I see you, I feel more in love."

Pedri's fingers running over the back of her hand seemed like a signal, "and I've never felt like this, I've never felt so in love with someone."

"Mi niña hermosa." Pedri's voice was like music to your ears.

He stood up, sitting in front of you. His eyes were fixed on yours and his fingertips were now gently moving over your face, as if his fingertips were trying to memorize every detail of you.

"I love you more every day.", he gave you a kiss on the cheek before continuing, "you are incredibly amazing. So beautiful, so smart, so mine. I love you."

He rested his forehead against yours, "I love every little bit of you, mi amor."

Pedri made you lie down next to him again, his arm passed over your head and he soon snuggled up next to you, pulling you closer, "I love you."

[titans-and-jla-mini-fics]

Batman gives a good example as to why he has the contingency plans he has to the Justice League. This isn't hate to any of the heroes in this either. I love the JLA, but after reading many of these comics and watching the shows I can see why Batman has these plans, prep times and slight paranoia of those he sees as friends or associates. Also I'm a big fan of Aquaman too so... Fair warning there's some Aquaman praise in this.

Batman turned his back on the Justice League members who were scolding him, their voices rising as they told him to get rid of his contingency plans or at least make them less brutal. Ignoring their protests, he whistled sharply, the sound cutting through the tension in the room.

With that, he strode purposefully toward the window in the JLA meeting room, determination in his step.

Batman: You know, when four of you got Jokerized and attacked me, I was recovering from fear toxin. That made things even worse that day.

Batman went silent for a second, the other members backing away until only Superman, Flash, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman remained front and center.

Batman: I don't like having to fight you, but I almost died that day. I actually feared some of you, and that’s saying a lot since I rarely take you seriously. You were in hospital beds for two weeks, wearing those sick, twisted smiles and completely unmoving. I could've been killed if I didn't have my plans. You could've died yourself from the Joker toxin and God knows the damage you four could do to your own cities.

Batman cracked his neck and took a deep breath. Wonder Woman looked down at the floor, ashamed. Flash frowned, his shoulders slumping. Superman struggled to find the right words, and Aquaman felt the same weight of the moment.

Batman: I have these plans so you don't kill me. I have these plans so you don't kill the people in your cities. I have these plans to protect everyone on Earth! I want to not have them and I do see you as... friends... Associates.. colleagues to a degree, but you haven't given me a good reason to put my life on the line for any of you.

No one spoke for a few seconds. Superman cleared his throat hopeful what he said wouldn't sound bad.

Superman: I mean if you could just make them less intense.

Green Lantern (John): Man, that was actually the worst thing you could've said.

Batman turned to face the group, his expression neutral, but the fury inside him was boiling over. He was at his breaking point, the metaphorical water slipping from the pot. While he regretted having to raise his voice, he felt he had no other choice.

Batman (shouting): I am a Justice League member and I will work with you, but if you don't stop pestering me about my contingency plans, I will go insane and I am taking you all with me!

Most of the Justice League: …

Batman: If the next person who talks says something that I find even a little irritating and makes me have those insane people's thoughts, I'm taking away every single vending machine in this building as well!

Aquaman: Hey, just speaking for the group here, but you seem to be going through some stuff and we're exacerbating that frustration. You're still mad at some of us for getting Jokerized and attacking you.

Batman: Which led to me contemplating death more and losing my memory.

Aquaman: Yeah, we said some rude things.

Batman (deadpan tone): Wonder Woman said she always hated me.

Wonder Woman: I wasn't in my right mind.

Batman: Superman talked like Bizarro and almost killed me.

Superman: I am really sorry about that, buddy.

Batman (glaring at the speedster): Flash… go to hell, Barry.

Flash (saddened): How come mine wasn't descriptive?

Batman (to Aquaman): And you ... I actually find you pleasant when you're not insane so I'm not that mad.

Wonder Woman: Why did that wound me?

Aquaman: While I appreciate that, you have every right to not trust us for a while. You saved us and kept us safe while we got better. I can't believe what I'm about to say... Batman, after what I went through, I get why you have those plans.

Batman: You do?

JLA members: You do?

Aquaman: I do now. Batman, first, thank you for saving us after we went Joker levels of insane. I'm sorry for attacking you and all the awful things I said which weren't true. The others are sorry as well.

Batman: You're forgiven, I wasn't mad at any of you since you weren't in your right mind that day, but my contingencies are what I keep for a reason.

Aquaman: I don't blame you, they came in handy; you got us an antidote before we got worse and although my face hurts from smiling that much, I'm glad that I'm better now. If it weren't for your incredible paranoia and quick thinking, I wouldn't be back with Mera and my son. For that, I am eternally grateful and again deeply apologize for dismissing your plans earlier.

Batman blinked, crossing his arms, secretly relieved to hear this, even if he did get called paranoid. That paranoia had helped him in the past.

Everyone else stared at Aquaman, some at how charming he was, the others annoyed he was siding with Batman. Superman was just jealous.

Wonder Woman: I often forget you're a king until you start talking like that. Impressive.

Aquaman: I'll take that as a compliment. Batman, if we hold back on criticizing most of your contingencies can you give us a tenth chance?

Batman closed his eyes, mentally debating what to say next.

Batman (clearing his throat): Apology accepted, Arthur. Thank you for understanding my plans. I can find it in my heart to give you all a hundred and twentieth chance. But don't mess it up.

The JLA members nodded, voicing their gratitude for the second chance. Batman sighed, feeling a headache forming.

Aquaman: Alright, thanks. Now, will I see you for movie night this Friday?

Superman: Movie night?

Batman: Yeah, I don't find you nearly as annoying as everyone else. Especially Hal.

Hal Jordan: I didn't even say anything! And I didn't even attack you!

Superman: You don't find him nearly as annoying as everyone else? I'm not included in that am I?

Batman: Most of the time.

Batman walked past the group, heading out the building.

Superman: Most... Most of the time? Okay I can accept that, but look at him! He looks like a surfer dude! No offense Aquaman.

Aquaman: That's not an insult to me, thanks for the compliment.

Flash: Hm, I see it now.

[emeraldserenade]

Late Night Meeting ~ Joaquín Torres

synopsis: you only seemed to run into Joaquín at night in the kitchen

tw: fem!reader, limited use of y/n, reader has a RBF, annoying person named Clare (sorry if your name is Clare), barely edited.

fic, ficlet, drabble, request

Whoopsie, I kinda went MIA for a while because I had to drive back home and then I was just decompressing from my trip (there were bed bugs in my hotel and I've been miserable). Anyway, I'm back! My trip to see my friends was great AND I got the email last week that I passed my final chem exam! Anyway, now that I am back I will be focusing on finishing my requests but for the time being I hope you enjoy this.

A special shoutout to @sidkneeeee for wishing me luck on my final! Thank you for always reading, liking, and reblogging my stories as well as your kind words, they are very much appreciated and help me keep my motivation for writing.

➽──────────────❥

You moved into the compound after being recruited for the new Avengers. You had met the only other two here, Sam Wilson and Joaquín Torres. You smiled and shook their hands and expected to be treated the same way you always where. Like you would explode the world if someone even looked at you wrong. You knew you looked intimidating and that you would bite the head off anyone who wronged you. But it wasn't your fault that you have a resting bitch face.

You noticed something peculiar though, while both Sam and Joaquín would treat you like a normal person. You only ever seemed to see Sam around, Joaquín was always off doing something else or you just never heard anything about him. You just guessed that he was scared of you and what you could do, so you thought nothing of it. Until you wandered into the kitchen late one night to find him standing in front of a pot on the stove.

"Sorry, I didn't realize you were in here," you muttered and moved to the fridge. You wanted the rest smoothie your smoothie rom earlier.

"Nah, you're good," Joaquín told you, flashing you a smile. You gave him one back and second guessed why he was never around. He didn't seem scared of you but he was also never around. You decided to put it to rest and head back to bed, your smoothie in hand and Joaquín watching you leave.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

After that meeting you seemed to run into him almost every night in the kitchen. You had the bad habit of always needing to drink something before bed and brushing your teeth. You would have to guess that it stemmed from your mom having you drink a glass of water every night before bed. And Joaquín seemed to always be snacking when you walked in.

"What are you snacking on today?" You questioned him, you two had started talking each night.

"I cut up an apple," he hummed and you watched him take a bite.

"Ah, nice," you replied and you two feel into a silence. Not an uncomfortable one, just a silence. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot," Joaquín answered and you took a deep breath.

"Why do you avoid me during the day?" You rushed out but before he could answer, one of the newer recruits walked in. She had only joined a few days ago but she was all over Joaquín when possible.

"Joaquín! There you are!" She practically shrieked and you cringed at her volume. You didn't like her but sucked it up because Sam said she was needed for the team. You took her arrival as reason to leave and downed the rest of your drink before leaving. You shot Joaquín a quick smile, ignoring the glare from the girl, and headed down the hallway.

"What was that yell?" Sam groggily asked from his door when you passed.

"Newbie got real excited when she saw Joaquín," you informed him.

"She has a name," Sam mumbled.

"Eh, don't care at the moment," you gently kicked the ground in annoyance.

"Have a good night, y/n," Sam bid you a good night.

"You too, Sam," you waved gently and started heading down the hall to your room again.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

It was a few weeks in the kitchen without Joaquín, you had to guess that he was spending his nights with the newbie. You had resigned to the fact that you would be alone at night when Joaquín finally showed in the kitchen again.

"Is Clare here?" He looked around frantically and shook your head.

"No, why?" You tilted your head a little at the sigh of relief that he released.

"I've been trying to avoid her for weeks, it's why I haven't been here," he explained and you made a shocked face.

"Joaquín!" You heard the newbie say from the hallway and took his arm, grabbing an apple for him on the way out with your free hand. You dragged him to the closest room, his. You shoved him in the door and he pulled you along with him. You only then realized you forgot your drink, but before you had time to be sad, Joaquín handed it to you.

"I only avoid you during the day because I know if I saw you in daylight, I'd fall irrevocably in love with you," Joaquín told you and you gently gasped while handing him the apple.

"Huh?" You cursed yourself for not being more poetic.

"You asked me a few weeks ago why I avoid you during the day, it's because I know if I were to see you in the daylight. Your face lit and warmed by the sun while you smile and laugh with Sam over some joke, I'd fall in love with you," Joaquín reiterated and you stared at him, the straw of your drink stuck to your bottom lip.

"I'm in love with you," you blurted out and slapped a hand over your mouth in shock. "Wait, that-" Joaquín cut you off by removing your drink from your hand, the straw from where it was attached, kissing you. You melted into it and let out a content sigh.

➽──────────────❥

Masterlist | Requests

[mischiefmaker615]

Don't You Know

Summary: Trapped in an elevator with your very own god of mischief.. what could go wrong?

Rating: R *WARNING* gr@pe warning! helmets on!

Song Inspiration: "Don't You Know" by Jaymes Young

''just so you know, I have full permission to shoot you if you try anything.''

‘’with what gun, darling?” his smirk was just as irritating as his comments.

Why you.. out of everyone on literal planet earth- it just had to be you to be stuck in an elevator with the god of mischief..

You mumbled to yourself while you turned back to the buttons and wouldn’t be surprised if your finger went numb with the amount of time you had pressed ‘help’.

‘’Y/N- getting close to pressing the button isn’t going to make this situation any faster’’ Tony’s voice rang out on the speaker, clearly irritated and you could tell he was busy with something. Something hopeful involving opening these doors.

‘’it’s just getting hard to breath.’’ You told him.

There was a pause before Tony rang in again. ‘’no it’s not.’’

Your brow raised while you looked up to try to find any cameras Stark Tower’s most likely would have. ‘’can you see us?”

‘’no, you’ve just been using every lie and excuse for the past five minutes. Now can you give me a moments peace so I can figure this out??” Tony raised his voice a little in the end that had you huffing and pressing your back against the wall, sliding down before you hugged your knees.

‘’you are a terrible liar.’’ Loki smirked while he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, looking down at you. Half of your mind told you he probably was enjoying seeing you down there.. like an ant and he was probably reminiscing of the time he had almost the earth on it’s knees. The other half of you began to nag at the dirty part of your mind and you ripped your eyes away from him for even thinking about the usual act in this position.

‘’wouldn’t you know.’’ You shot at him while your heel tapped as if to quicken the time.

The silence that passed between you both in that moment had your body tense, slowly raising your eyes to look at him where he waited for you, only smirking when your gaze met.

‘’wouldn’t I know?” he repeated, slowly moving down to kneel on one knee, an arm draped over it to support his upper body while the other hand fell limp at his side. ‘’you have very little faith in me being here love?”

Just by him kneeling alone gave enough close proximity to take in his scent- his scent filled with pine and masculinity where you almost had your eyes fluttering if you hadn’t turned away to avoid his eyes.

‘’in what very little faith the team sees in you, is their business. You are to fulfill your ‘community service’ here, and that is all. but don’t expect people to just trust you just because you are able to live here.’’

‘’you mean, you don’t trust me.’’

Your eyes turned to his again with a raised brow, hugging your knees tighter while your heart pounded for whatever reason. Perhaps it was because you weren’t used to being honest.. to speaking your mind.. to being this angry..

‘’it isn’t fair, is it?”

The question had you furrow your brows at him, almost like you had missed a big piece of the conversation you might not have heard while his expression remained calm. ‘’pardon?’’

‘’you find it unfair that I so much has been ‘let off the hook’ as you Midgardians say, when you yourself had quite a time to try to earn such rights. It seems to me darling, you are merely jealous.’’

You opened your mouth to speak before he cut you off.

‘’but don’t worry darling, it suits you well.’’

Your mouth shut to glare at him, looking at him as if to say ‘the audacity’ but he didn’t say anything else. Just stared at you like he was waiting for an apology from you. You scoffed and looked away. ‘’you know nothing about me.’’

‘’don’t i?” he smirked.

‘’your mouth is your biggest weapon. Without words, you are nothing but scared and as lost as any other creature trying to start over and find purpose.’’

‘’am i?”

You huffed. ‘’look, if you are just going to answer questions with a question, than I have nothing to-‘’ suddenly you felt a hand wrap around your throat, your eyes shooting forward to see he was right in front of you, still kneeling in the same position but far a lot closer to where you questioned why you hadn’t seen his movements.

Your hands moved instantly to his wrist, not daring to move your legs down from your chest in some form of protection in front of you while you crawled into his skin.

‘’keep scratching kitten, I like it..’’

‘’y-you’re crazy-‘’ you stuttered while trying to draw in breath.

‘’I am honest, something you need to start being if it is to benefit any parts of your life. I do not lie darling, I am good at it when I do, but I have no need for it because people tend to deny the truth anyway.’’ he smirked being he leaned closer, feeling how the tip of his nose ghosted against your temple and heard him inhale. ‘’you are going to be my benefit until I am out of here.’’

‘’what are you talking about?” you wheezed, squeezing your eyes shut to try to concentrate on breathing before they opened once Loki let up ever so slightly.

‘’I know some of the mishaps- as harmless as they might be- have come from you amongst the tower. I also know you have been pinning them against me to keep my sentence here longer and prolong my freedom.’’ He said harshly and felt his grip tighten a little where you began clawing at his wrist again. ‘’apart of me said perhaps you crave my presence, with how much you stare and daydream.’’ He smirked and you merely gave him a look that said otherwise. ‘’oh come now darling, I can smell it on you..’’ his voice got darker, eyes dropping down to admire your form while you tried bringing your knees closer to yourself and felt your back press against the wall more.

‘’I also know,’’ he began and flicked his eyes up at you. ‘’that you are the cause for this contraption to halt, and that you plan on placing this blame on me as well so that sabotage will.. well, sabotage my end sentence’’ he smirked and you glared at him, feeling how his grip lessened to allow you to speak.

‘’you. Are. Crazy..’’

‘’still such a terrible liar.’’

‘’no? you’re the god of lies, look me in the eyes and tell me I’m lying-‘’ you threatened and pressed forward to him with a sharp stare.

Loki looked down his nose at you and barely seemed to study while he grinned. ‘’I knew I liked you.’’ He purred before pulling you by the neck forward, making you slam on your knees with your hands catching yourself by landing on his shoulders before his lips crashed down onto yours.

‘’mmph-‘’ your body tensed up and felt like it was on fire. Your fingers instantly curled into his leather, surprisingly yourself that you did not ripe the fabric with how much you gripped.

He had leaned back on purpose so your balance would throw you more onto him, your chest pressing up against your own while you scrambled to push off of him but he kept you in place by merely biting onto your bottom lip. Not enough to draw blood- but enough to keep you still while you felt your legs begin to shake.

Feeling him chuckle, he released you and you moved so fast off of him, you fell on your ass, palms holding you sat up beside you while you glared at him. ‘’what is wrong with you??”

Loki chuckled while he damn near crawled forward. ‘’plenty..’’

Your eyes widened and gave a glance before moving quickly with your arm shooting out towards the button. Just before you could press it, he grabbed your wrist and yanked it away, his body hovering above yours while you now landed onto your stomach. His knees were on either side of your thighs, his palms beside your shoulders before one disappeared from view to press between your shoulder blades to keep you pinned.

Your hands were no longer free because they then tried to pry his other hand off from covering your mouth. You could feel him lower himself enough to where his lips caressed your ear before his whispered ‘’here is what’s going to happen..’’ he started before his chest lowered to pin your back down while his hand that had been between your shoulder blades, traveled down.

‘’you pin your mishaps on me, and I might have been able to leave here much sooner if you hadn’t decided to play cute.’’ He started, his voice sharp with a hint of annoyance while it glided down your spine and down the curve of your ass, pausing to give each side a squeeze where you tried harder to get your mouth free.

‘’you have not put me in a good mood lately and you have us trapped here for awhile on top of it all, quite the devoted sacrifice on your part.’’ He smirked and felt you tense up when his hand glided to between your legs.

Clothed as you were, his hand was very much there while he rubbed you over your jeans. Your eyes squeezed shut while your body struggled uselessly to get out from underneath him, but he was just as determined as you were to keep you down.

‘’you owe me.’’

Your eyes shot open while your body tensed. He couldn’t possibly mean..

‘’you will let me have use of you amongst the tower. Wherever, and whenever, until I am free of this place. Speak highly of me if you wish, it benefits me all the more.’’ He smirked and tilted your head up when you tried thrashing to shake his hand off your mouth. ‘’of course, you know with every deal, there is a catch.’’

His hand then moved around your hip to force itself from under you, finding your zipper. You pressed down to try to crush his hand with practically your nonexistent weight, but he still managed to unzip it just fine before his fingertips moved to the edge on top.

‘’you are to tell no one of our little arrangement.’’ He whispered, catching your earlobe between his teeth simultaneously while diving his hand down your pants and under your panties.

To your shame, you were wet. There was no doubt he was attractive in every way, even being an asshole and squeezed your eyes shut while he chuckled against you. ‘’it would seem your body has no form of protest.’’ He smirked before his fingertips began to skillfully rub small circles against your clit, clearly in no hurry.

Your body shook while you tried to ignore your feelings, to ignore that arousal he seemed to be building up while you squeezed your legs together to no prevail at reaching his hand. His thumb began stroking your skin while the rest of his hand remained keeping your mouth closed. You then felt his tongue run against your ear before continuing to nibble against your lobe.

‘’if you even dare try to tell anyone of our relationship, you will find just how much I am willing to risk my freedom in order to drag you to Hel with me.’’ His voice was dark, his grip on your mouth tightening to the point where you felt your head rest against your shoulders.

You didn’t dare test him, if he were capable to take over New York and damn near succeed, one could imagine how successful he’d get threatening one human with all that energy. Your body shook in fear, eyes wide and vison blurry while tears threaten to fall.

‘’aww, do not fret dear one,’’ he cooed in a whisper before his tongue ran against your cheek to catch every tear that would fall. ‘’I will not leave you wanting. You may enjoy this just as much as I will.. in fact, your pleasure is my very own.’’ He smirked before he slipped one of his long digits into your wet core.

‘’mmm!’’ you whimpered, hating how good it felt where your back arched and your hands fell flat against the floor, nails curling while you felt his erection press against your ass.

‘’that’s it darling.. that’s it..’’ he whispered, slowly pumping his finger in and out of you all the way to the knuckle and curled it when it would seem he was about to pull it back out. there was no rush, no hurry, and you could feel yourself gripping around him while your eyes opened with half lids.

You could see the blurry images of yourself in the shiny reflection of the walls and although the image wasn’t clear, it was erotic all the same. By now you were giving out pitiful little moans, some forced out with the slight force from Loki when he would rub his clothed erection against your ass at the same rhythm of his hand inside of you.

It was safe to know that your mind was putty and couldn’t form words at the current moment to where Loki released your mouth to grip your jaw, his thumb running against your bottom lip.

‘’do you hate me darling?’’ he whispered while adding a second finger into your core.

This had you moaning with your eyes fluttering. ‘’yes..’’ you moaned, not at all referring to his question while he paid extra special attention to your G spot.

‘’still such a pitiful liar. Perhaps every time you shall attempt and fail at this, a punishment would be in order..’’ he smirked, seeming to mock you and enjoy every single bit of your undoing while your hips began to instinctually rise and fall with his movements.

‘’plea-‘’ your words were cut off when he shifted his hand up and slipped to digits into your mouth, pumping in and out at the same rhythm as his hand in your cunt.

‘’there will be plenty of time for begging while you are serving your own sentence.’’ He smirked and dropped his head down to bury his face in your hair, inhaling your sweet scent.

‘’these warnings aren't the only thing that's going to stay with you love.  I think you and I will be very well acquainted by the end of the day. How does that sound?" Loki smirked and felt you begin to clench and flutter around his fingers. "I am very good company when I want to be"

And with that, you came on his hand- crying out while he muffled your sound with his fingers flat on your tongue. He kept pumping into your core, his thumb brushing against your clit every time he would plunge while you squirmed and withered underneath him. you panted, shaking while waves of pleasure seemed to crash again and again until he finally began to slow down his pace and help you down from your high.

He slowly pulled his fingers from out of your mouth, practically helping you to rest your chin on the floor before his other hand followed suit while he stood. From above you, you could have sworn you heard sucking noises and your eyes fluttered while you practically came too.

Moving himself to the side, he used his boot to slowly roll you over before he reached down and zipped you back up. ‘’come now darling, I wasn’t even trying. If you are this wiped out by merely my hands alone, than I am quite curious on how you’ll turn out after my mouth has a turn..’’

There was a sudden creaking sound and a grunt from the other side of the doors before they began to slowly slide apart, revealing Tony wearing the parts of armor to his suit for his hands.

‘’finally-‘’ he huffed while you quickly sat up with wide eyes. ‘’what’s wrong with you?”

‘’exhaustion tends to appear when a certain amount of time passes in one place. Honestly Stark, with all the contraptions you may build but you cannot repair an elevator?’’ Loki sighed and scooped up your arm, pulling you to your feet while you staggered a bit and gripped the wall.

‘’t-thank you..’’ you stuttered while you both got out and Tony placed his hands on his hips, looking almost as tired while he grinned a little at you.

‘’take a nap, you look like you’ve been through hell’’ he chuckled while Loki smirked.

‘’it certainly was hot in there.’’ He commented before turning towards you. ‘’will you be alright daring?” he said almost to innocently with his hands clasped behind his back.

You resisted the urge to glare at him and bit your tongue, pushing down the urge to blurt while you raised your eyes to meet his awaiting ones with a shaky breath.

‘’yes.. everything will be fine..’’

DM a song for your very own Musical Mischief one shot :D

Tag List: @foxherder13 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz @nervouseden @kathren1sky-blog @eleniblue @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @queenofstarsign85 @slytherinqueen4life @soulpiercing @westwindrhapsody @lulubelle814

[appocalipse]

Hi I would love to read what you would write based on my request: The girl is a strong woman who is stressed out by working a lot. She is the captain of a special division of the shield. Her personality is sarcastic and serious. She doesn't hide the fact that she has a crush on Bucky. At night everyone goes to Steve's birthday party, Tony organized a party with a "40s" theme, everyone dressed as they did back then. What would Bucky think when he saw YN dressed like he did in his time? Thanks!!

hi sweetheart, thank you SO MUCH for this request. this is really short but i had a lot of fun with it! ♥

Steve's birthday party is packed into the ballroom of a midtown hotel with vaulted ceilings, tall windows overlooking the nighttime cityscape, and an overhead banner proclaiming "Happy Birthday Cap!" in red, white, and blue letters. There are tables laden with food along the perimeter of the room, a dance floor in the center and probably much more than Steve was hoping for when he agreed to this, but Bucky is certain Tony has never met a special occasion he didn't want to over-celebrate.

"Hello, handsome." A silky voice caresses the back of Bucky's neck.

He's not taken off guard often. He's supersoldier trained, preternaturally aware of his surroundings at all times, so eternally vigilant that sometimes he barely sleeps.

But you...you're a menace in more ways than one.

He turns and sort of wishes he hadn't.

You're dressed to the nines in a (so help him God) red dress that leaves him scrambling for polite words, complete with ruby-red lips and shiny high heels that bring you closer to his eye level than should be allowed.

Bucky swallows around the sudden knot in his throat. He's a hard man to fluster. He's fought wars, seen things most people couldn't begin to comprehend and, modesty aside, used to get more than his fair share of attention from ladies back in the day. Yet, for whatever reason, you in your '40s version seems to have short-circuited something in his brain.

"You..." He clears his throat. "Uh...you clean up nice."

Nice? Is that the best he can do? You, in your victory curls and bold lipstick, looking like you belong on a silver screen, and he says nice?

"Why, thank you," you say.

"A real doll." Maybe that's better.

Your eyes widen at the compliment like you weren't expecting it, and now Bucky is feeling a little proud of himself.

"Where did you find this outfit?" He's glad he asked, because he gets to watch your eyes light up when you smile, all wide and excited in a way he'd never have associated with your much more professional Captain persona.

"It's amazing what you can find online nowadays," you spread your arms, twirl, and he's pretty sure that, if he hasn't made a fool of himself yet, he probably will soon. "What do you think? Am I authentic enough for this shindig?"

"Oh yeah. Authentic as they come." He gives you an exaggerated once over and then leans in to whisper conspiratorially. "You look like a pin-up."

"Do I? Would you buy my picture?"

You tilt your head back to look up at him with the prettiest eyes Bucky has ever seen. He shrugs. "Doll, I'd buy a whole calendar."

You giggle at that, giggle. The sound of it wraps around Bucky's heart and squeezes. You're too much, more siren than woman, he's convinced, smiling up at him like you know exactly what's going through his head and are thrilled by it.

"Now, now, don't tease."

"Not teasing."

Your hand has crept onto his arm (his flesh-and-blood one, even). "Steve says you used to be quite the ladies' man back in the day."

"Yeah? What else did he say?"

"Just that you're actually very sweet under all this grump and that I shouldn't give up just yet."

Maybe he's not as good at this as he remembers. He doesn't recall ever having a woman making such blatant advances while he sputtered like a fish on land...but it is nice to feel wanted. He really hopes he's not blushing like a kid.

He flashes you his most charming smile. "And are you? Giving up, I mean?"

"Oh no, Sergeant." Your smile grows even wider, and Bucky is willing to bet he's not imagining the tiny gleam of triumph in your eyes. "Not even close."

He groans inwardly.

[little-one-eyed-monsters]

Smart Chisanupong working as a night market vendor in Bangkok at age 18 (as captured by a Filipino travel vlogger; 5:00 min mark):

Am I the only one who didn't know this? As if we needed more reasons to make Smart insanely successful in the industry. Give this talented man all the interesting and complex roles! Give him an album! A dance concert! Make this wonderful guy trend.

Looked into it a bit, and Smart did mention during the press run for Don't Say No that he worked odd jobs to help pay for school and his auditions (he just didn't mention what jobs). He wasn't able to do the New Thitipoom route where you get scouted out of the blue to join the industry. Instead, Smart went the Daou Pittaya method and kept auditioning for boy band/idol positions (hence the formal dance training).

This origin story really explains why Smart always comes off as very passionate, down-to-earth, and respectful during his fan interactions and interviews. He knows the value of hard work and is trying his best not to take any opportunity for granted. He's trying to make it through sheer will alone, and judging from his MDL it hasn't been easy. Years in the industry and Top Form is his first breakout role, under a new company that doesn't have the fame or marketing that other competitors have. You can tell this newfound fame for him and Boom is organic.

Of course, I have nothing against insanely rich BL boys like Nouel Nuttarat, Nat Natasit, or even Tul Pakorn. I find it funny to know that they have all the money in the world to literally do anything they wanted (Noeul collects luxury cars, Nat owns buildings, and Tul's family are business moguls dear God), yet they choose to entertain us through Boys' Love of all things. Even our nepo babies like Gun Attaphan and Tay Tawan have earned my respect, because they're using both talent and resources to actually star in diverse and interesting content that's helping push the boundaries of the genre. Heck, Smart's partner Boom is a nepo baby, and he is still 100% an acting marvel.

So good on them. But there's just something so satisfying about seeing underdog talents like Smart become successful in the industry, too. He deserves to be just as famous as the Noeuls and Guns of Thailand. I hope Smart gets all the opportunities moving forward.

P.S. Amazingly accurate casting choice there for Jin and Akin. The casting directors did their homework in hiring Smart and Boom, well done.

P.P.S. As a fellow Filipino, I condemn the gross behavior of this vlogger and their friends during that interaction with Smart. They had no business perving on an 18 year-old boy, a private individual, who was just trying to do his job. Smart was respectful and accommodating all the way, but don't think that coercing the boy's address and contact details is acceptable behavior.

[acidgreendog]

A Kaz Playlist

Exploring that untouched ground between when Kaz discovers he's been used and left out of BB's plans and when he finally settles as Master Miller, I've been thinking a lot about that anger and betrayal he must have felt to get him to walk away from everything he had been building. The personal anger he felt against BB himself was my main focus for a lot of these songs, as well as the feelings of turning his back on him in retaliation. I'm also enjoying thinking about how that bitterness and anger would spiral into a cycle of abuse that may have got taken out on his students, especially david snake, later down the line. This is basically like the world's edgiest break up playlist.

Genres: industrial metal, nu-metal, hard rock, grunge, alt rock.

Run time: 1hr 32 mins

Thumbnail art (by me)

Tracklist

(to be played in no particular order) and lyrics excerpts to show a little bit of why I picked each song:

The Big Come Down -Nine Inch Nails

"the big come down, isn't that what you wanted? // find a place with the failed and forgotten"

Twenty Four Hours -The Twilight Sad (cover)

"just for one moment, thought I'd found my way // destiny unfolded, watched it slip away"

Last Time -Fuel

"this is the last time now // I'll bleed for you"

Change My Mind -Puddle Of Mud

"how could I ever believe anything you've ever said? // I'm on the bottom of your shoes, a little piece, a piece of shit"

A New Way To Bleed -Evanescence

"but it's my // my heart // my life // that you're calling a lie // I've played this game before // and I can't take anymore"

The Line Begins To Blur -Nine Inch Nails

"there are things that I said I would never do // there are fears that I cannot believe have come true"

Hangnail -Nickleback

"my hopes just fell // and I can't see // the reason why // why there is blood on my sleeve // and all this time, I thought it mine // but it's not, it's yours"

Mudshovel -Staind

"all the promises you made to me you made in vain"

Made Of Stone -Evanescence

"I'll numb the pain 'till I am made to // tear out my heart for the way it makes me feel // I will still remember when you've long forgotten me"

September Rain -Cassyette

"my pain clouding my brain // I pray I will find me again"

Somewhat Damaged -Nine Inch Nails

"how could I ever think, it's funny how // everything you swore would never change is different now"

Somebody Someone -Korn

"I can't stand to let you win // I'm just watching you // and I don't know what to do // feeling like a fool inside"

Point #1 -Chevelle

"rebuke, don't choke on this twisted dream"

Home -Staind

"I can't accept this all // because of you I've had to walk away from everything"

Massive -Linkin Park

"I heard the screaming in my dreaming every night // I awake and I'm still mistaking you for right"

You Walk Away -Filter

"I can't live hate // I just won't hate // I just want a life of my own"

Thoughtless -Korn

"all my hate cannot be found // I will not be drowned // by your thoughtless scheming"

Wish -Nine Inch Nails

"I built it up, now I take it apart // climbed up real high, now fall down real far// no need for me to stay"

Alone I Break -Korn

"Now I see the times they change // leaving doesn't seem so strange // I am hoping I can find // where to leave my hurt behind"

Head Like A Hole -Nine Inch Nails

"head like a hole // black as your soul // I'd rather die than give you control"

And One (Hybrid Theory EP) -Linkin Park

"angers a gift, then I guess I've been blessed"

Prison Sex -Tool

"do unto you now, what has been done to me // do unto you now, what has been done" -not necessarily to be taken at the face value the song communicates, more so about a cycle of abuse among male power dynamics

Blue Monday - Orgy (cover)

"how does it feel, to treat me like you do? // When you've laid your hands upon me // and told me who you are"

[slaaverin]

Wow. How is BMP’s reading about taekookers so actually true? When we say they are a cult we are absolutely right. We can see it, how they band together in their delusions but instead of conjuring up what they want or believe to be true, they get the opposite, because it’s not reality. Where she said about begging for scraps. It reminds me of when they were harassing that restaurant owner a month or so ago, who then felt the need to clarify that they did not go together. How embarrassing is that? Then the other way they get crumbs off that disgraceful owner of the place golden party was held, but it’s still crumbs of nothing, he’s just feeding their delusions and they eat it up.

I’d feel sorry for them but I actually don’t. I just cannot fathom how so many people are under this spell, and that so many ot7 are also hidden taekookers. It’s beyond unhinged. How sad to live a life where you feel the need to spread such hateful words.

Jungkook and Tae are friends and that’s it, but what’s sad, if true what BMP says, is the behaviour of taekookers could affect reality, the boys relationship, how disgusting is that! I’d imagine that would come from Jungkook moreso, this pulling back. We kinda saw it at Jin’s discharge with that awkward hug. But hey however sad, maybe that is needed?

I actually would wish for boundaries when they all come back together, maturity, which may sound like an overstep but I think it’s needed objectively speaking, between the members and fans too. A line needs to be drawn because it cannot go on like this. It cannot be that Jimin receives death threats on the daily from these unhinged cultists. It’s only ever Jimin and Jungkook that get this wide ranging over the top, polarisation within the fandom and solo spaces. This sweeping hatred and such strong views one way or another. Solos hate the other, ot7 often ignore the hate, it’s unreal that such beautiful people receive such treatment.

I am so glad they have us, people who support them, who hold space for them to just be, a safe space or them. I know they know this, I’ve no doubt they know we are here for them. I hope that’s enough.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts anon,

As she said the difficulty is that tkkers are trying to escape from reality and cannot accept reality as it is.

Acceptance of reality in a broader sense in life for most people is a very difficult thing to do because when they are confronted with unpleasant truth (could be pain, could be anything they don't like in life) most people will go to extreme length to escape from it because facing reality means facing their inner fears and on this earth the most difficult thing to overcome is fear, not even the events themselves.

To face your fears and sense of lack one must find inner courage and strength. But if those people struggle with self-image they may not have proper foundations to find that strength so the only other options is to go deeper into the delusion.

All of it is really fascinating but at the same time very frightening.

That's truly the byproduct of lack of self-awareness and basically all the problems in our planet comes from this.

That's why BTS's mission of bringing awareness about self-love, jikook with unconditional love, and every one of us individually raising awareness and shining light on others is so damn important because each of us is helping the collective evolve in consciousness.

I think it's inevitable tkkers acts do influence the boys in real life. JK has been pulling back from Tae for a long time (whether it's for this reason or others, who knows, but I can't help but think it's a contributing factor). In Jungkook's position I cannot see him stand by any of this.

Boundaries and maturity is needed at this time; with the band's creative direction but also with their relationship with fans. I can't help but think that if absolutely nothing happens and no boundary is set at all, it will all go in flames.

What is the first thing they are gonna see when they get back? Tkkers comments flooding the lives.

Because let me tell you that their hatred has built on levels never seen before in chapter 2. They have a lot of bottle-up frustration and once they will find the proper outlet for it (the boys) all hell will break loose. But that's only my prediction.

So that is why jikookers need to be READY! on deck. Prepared to support in all the ways so we can to counterbalance the hate the boys will receive. This is honestly so important.

It remains to be seen if a member (I bet on Jungkook) will truly say something. But imo they will have to. Because if they don't hate will only increase until the boys themselves are soooo done that they will snap. They can only take so much? And who knows to which length the haters will go, what kind of psychopatic behaviour they will portray (online or in real life). Depending on events it can go sideways pretty quick and someone will have to say something.

Usually I stay careful over some predictions but I think this one is pretty inevitable.

I'm sure jikook knows we are there for them. They know about the support they are getting and that a lot of people stand by them. Hopefully it brings some peace of mind to both 💜

So let's continue to support them however we can so in the future our words brings them comfort and warmth 💜

Thanks anon and take care 🫂

[thenextlordthorpe]

“I really am. I say it loud with my words and even louder in my actions, but people seem to refuse to listen in hopes I’ll change my mind or eventually give in and find a bride.” Whistledown had read him wrong in her assumption of him, assumed that he wanted power and to test that on his new family when it was the furthest thing, he wanted so much that it didn’t even cross his mind. “I see your reasoning and while courting can be fun, there’s an expectation of it or some commitment but its not something I can give. Even though I’m upfront and honest of my intentions, courting gives people hope that they could be the exception, and I will not lead people on.” Her teasing makes him smile. “Oh, I know it doesn’t conclude with vows, that’s what makes it much more fun!”

“I am paired with Lady Aylin Kara, a very dedicated friend of your sisters. We met once before, and she did not seem to like me very much out of concern for Marjorie.” He thought it could be something more and even teased the Lady Kara about it at the time. “I’m confused why the Queen would match someone as rakish as myself with her favourite but I’m sure there’s a plan there somewhere. And for you, I know you have someone courting, has he asked a certain question yet? I look forward to hearing the news when he does.”

His reaction to her question brought a smile to her lips, a soft chuckle escaping soon after. “Oh my— You are quite against it, then.” Georgiana nodded, folding her hands behind her back. Of course, she ought to have assumed as much. He had made it plain he did not wish to be in London, let alone to marry and set down ties — or better yet, anchor himself among the ton. “I see. Courting can be rather fun, though. Not every courtship must conclude with vows — you seem to know as much.” She hummed, her tone light and teasing.

Her curiosity, however, had been sparked. “Who have you been paired with, if you don’t mind my asking?” Her interest was genuine, her head tilting slightly. “Someone interesting, I hope — if you do choose to encounter them. It might prove entertaining, at the very least. Perhaps even make your time in Mayfair not entirely dreadful before you return to your travels.” The blonde smiled up at him, warm and sincere. “Which I do hope happens soon, Tobias.” And she meant it. It was evident in his eyes, in the way he spoke — he belonged elsewhere. Perhaps even to someone far away. She could not be certain. But she understood this, at least — that no one should remain where they were not happy to stay.

[admirationandromantics]

Guilt and Grudges, 2: Darkness

Another one out, hope you guys like it so far! I don't really know what to write on these intros anymore, since not much is happening. I'm getting ready for exams, I'm working, and I'm writing. That's about it. I almost forgot to post this chapter tonight because of it, lol. Anyways, enjoy! <3

I try not to breathe loudly, but this is intense. Was it always so hard to get to the top? We walk up a couple of stairs and take a turn. In front of us is a large dark figure, and I look up to meet Josh. 

“Hey man, what’s up?” 

He smiles, giving Sam a nudge on the shoulder to greet her. I see a faint blush on her cheek, but I can’t determine if it’s caused by him or the cold. 

“Not much, waiting for you of course” 

“Man, I feel like this mountain gets bigger every time I climb it” Chris exclims, a loud sigh forced out when talking another step. 

“Really? Feels the same to me” 

“Oh come on, you grew up here, it probably feels like it’s shrinking” 

“I guess that’s true” 

I interrupt them both, cold and tired, wanting to get to the lodge as fast as possible. 

“Hey Josh, nice to see you, BUT how about we keep moving?” 

“Well, can’t keep the ladies waiting, can we Cochise?” 

“We cannot” 

I meet Sam’s eyes, and she’s also tired, not as bad as me, but still. She grabs my hand and starts dragging me up as I whine. “Sam, I was joking, we can make some snow angels or something. Just lay down, romantically, looking up at the stars…” 

“It’s clouded” 

“That’s the only reason why we’re not doing it?” 

She laughs, and I pull myself together. It isn’t long now. Despite the cold weather, snow, wind, heavy bags and ice, I finally glimpse the dark pine planks of the lodge. 

“When are you gonna install some cell towers up here? I’m getting withdrawals already” Chris asks, and I hurry to the stairs, sitting down and relaxing. Sam stands over me, breathing heavily as well. Were we really that out of shape? 

“You got a spare million lying around, I’ll fix you right up” Josh empties his pockets, showing the lack. Chris starts fumbling around with his blue jacket, feeling himself up. I want to do that. 

“Funny you should say that, I think I left it in my other jacket” 

They start walking towards us, probably about to open the door. Finally. Josh scurries up the stairs, flickering with a couple of keys. Chris follows through, his hand brushing lightly against the hood of my jacket. Fucking hell. How am I supposed to survive this if every little touch makes me heat up like this? It’s fucking embarrasing. Luckily, no one seems to notice, not even Sam. 

“Yo, yo, yo, are we getting things moving up here or what?” 

“Yeah man” 

I lift my head to Sam, and we share a look. This “boy-talk” is already drilling a hole in my head. I think she hates it even more than I do, her eyes rolling so far back her head that I can’t see her irises. A smile finds its way to my lips. If Josh and her got together, she would smack him every time he said something weird, I just know it. And Josh’s reply? Definitely something like “yes ma’am” or “as you wish”. There’s no secret that he’s down bad for her. 

“Lead the way, Cochise” 

I hear them moving down the stairs, each thump vibrating through my body. 

“What’s going on?” I ask Sam, who’s looking up at them attentively, following every move. 

“Frozen lock, I think” 

They both get down, Josh continuing around the lodge. Chris, however, stops in front of me, mouth opening then closing, as if trying to say something. This leads to Sam taking a step back, giving me a thumbs up from behind him. I give a hard stare in reply. She can’t be that obvious around him. 

He’s smiling, that sweet smile that he always does when happy. I look up in awe, hoping to control my eyes a bit. He lifts his head, finally speaking. 

“So, how’re you doing?” 

“Hmm, good now. Surprised by how out of shape I’ve gotten” I laugh, a bit embarrassed by myself. Ugh, if he could just hoist me over his shoulders right now I would never speak ill of the guys again. And that’s a challenge. 

“Well, it is right after the exams. Are you freezing?” 

“Yeah a little” I think about the fire inside. Sitting in front of it, warming ourselves. There are other ways to do that too though. Jesus Christ I’m letting my mind wander again. “I think I could use some time curled up by the fire” I continue, looking at him intently. I can imagine the yellowly lights gracing his face, his skin. I almost feel disgusted by myself for being so forward about it, I really don’t mean to. 

His smile falls a bit, mouth still open as he takes a deep breath. I can see him swallow, and a sinking feeling embraces me. Oh no, I’ve been caught, he knows, and this is not the right time, not after everything that’s happened. I’m definitely stupid. 

“Yeah… that does sound pretty nice” 

His voice is different, breathy and serious. He keeps eye contact, holding intently as if trying to say something else, trying to get me to understand something. I don’t know what. 

“Christopher Hartley! I’ll have to call your mother and complain if you don’t get your ass here immediately!” Josh shouts from the other side. I give him a weak smile, arm raising in a small wave as he makes his way over. His absence is already noted on my body. I already miss him. 

Not seeing him in almost a year, to spend an eternity with going up the mountain, then just leaving? I’m being dramatic, I know that. But he feels like a drug, the small dose getting more and more wanting. My cravings are growing by the second. We left off at a terrible time, starting something that wouldn’t even make it an hour. And the circumstances make it even more difficult. How can we start up again without feeling guilty for the things that happened? Without being reminded by them. If we were downstairs, we could’ve stopped them. Or we could’ve reached Hannah or Beth. I wish we had. 

“I’ve seen a lot of foreplay in my days, but what the hell was that?” A familiar voice sounds beside me. I look up, meeting Matt and Ashley. 

“Way to greet me Matty” 

“I mean, come on. The tension is obviously there, do something about it” 

“Leave her alone Matt, they were both thinking about fucking each other by the fire” Ashley chimes in, a playful smirk on her lips. I look at the both of them, shocked by the incredibly rude greeting. 

“You haven’t even said hello” 

“I saw you four days ago” she defends, arms in the air and taking a step backwards. 

“I’m sorry, hello, anyways-” 

“Nope” I stop him, finger put up in the air. I stand up, walking to the other side of the lodge. No way I was gonna be teased this way. I mean, what if Chris suddenly opened the door behind us? That’d make for an awkward situation. I hear one last thing before I turn the corner. 

“She’s embarrassed we’re right” 

Assholes. I’m not that obvious, at least I try not to be. Ashley knows because I’ve told her, and so does Sam, who also told Josh last year. Now Matt also knows, though I don’t know how. I would’ve answered the same thing if someone else asked, maybe in a different tone, but still the same. 

“Alright, alright, I got it. Jeez” 

“You’ve got what?” I ask, surprising him from behind. He mumbles, cheeks getting flushed and not meeting my gaze. He looks everywhere but me. 

“He’s got a plan!” Josh shouts, hand waving, signalling for us to follow. I walk beside Chris, sensing his nervousness and wondering what’s got him so worked up. 

“What kind of plan?” 

“A secret one” 

I laugh, the silliness of it being a bit unnerving. Still, I’m intrigued, wanting to know more. 

“Can I be part of it?” 

“Oh, trust me, I believe you will” 

“Great, can’t wait” 

Josh laughs, and I smile, unknowing of what I’ve joined in on. Chris is still silent, swallowing hard and looking out in the forest. 

“So, how’re we planning on breaking into my parents lodge?” 

“We’re breaking in?” 

Chris finally chimes in, letting me hear his voice and see his face. “It’s NOT technically breaking in if you own the place” 

“We’ve already had this conversation” Josh sighs, turning around and walking backwards. 

“How’re we getting in?” I ask, retraveling back to the original question. If the door doesn’t work, maybe a window or another backdoor will. 

“Well, I didn’t say I had a plan on how to do it” 

“You sounded like you had a plan” Josh throws out his hands in despair, head to the sky as he sighs dramatically. “You better deliver, or else you got five lovely ladies who are gonna be freezing their buns off, and last time I checked, that’s not a good way to get laid” 

Chris tenses up again, giving a low huff in response. I laugh, Josh teasing him is hilarious. 

“Wouldn’t want to spoil Josh’s plans with Sam” I whisper to him, just loud enough to make Josh hear. Chris’s lips move up in a smile. 

“Hey, I’ve got A LOT of plans for you this weekend, just so you know. So don’t get too surprised” 

“Bet Sam will be surprised” 

“Oh, shut up guys” 

We get to the side of the house, waiting for someone to form an idea. I look around. An empty fire-axe display, a couple of windows and a power box. Chris moves to the power box, and Josh follows. 

“We’ve got ourselves a thinker, nice on” 

They place themselves on either side of the box, one pulling and one pushing. I run over to help, suddenly aware that I’m not doing anything. A few grunts and pushes, and the box is right under the window. I breathe out. Almost wish I hadn’t helped them, that was hard. 

Chris wastes no time, and jumps on top, slightly grunting as he does. Josh signals for me to follow, and I nod. He gives me his hand, and I take it, letting him help me up on the slippery box. A loud thud is heard, followed by whining. 

“I’m okay!” 

I help Josh up, and we move over to look in through the window. Chris is laid flat on his back, eyes pinched closed and arms spread. I give a small laugh. He’s adorable. 

“Should’ve paid more attention in climbing class” 

Josh and I immediately share a look, both of us furrowing our brows and wrinkle our noses. We look back, and he has already begun lifting himself up. 

“You mean gym?” 

“Yeah, you know, with the climb up the rope-” 

A loud shatter interrupts him, and the room goes dark. I look around, seeing the light bulb has exploded. I lean in a bit, wanting to see him better. 

“Woah”

“Did I do that?” 

“I don’t… I don’t think so” 

Josh fumbles with his jacket, hands going in every pocket before he finds what he’s looking for. A lighter. “Here, use this” he shouts, throwing it at Chris. He catches it with ease, lighting the small fire. The room lights up again, and everything gets more visible by the yellow flames. Oh, and his face, the way the light and shadows work together… 

“Woah, Chris, I just got an awesome idea” 

“Yeah?” 

“Totally” 

“Well, what is it?” 

“Okay. So, I’m pretty sure that I’ve got some deodorant in one of the bathrooms, you could use that with the lighter” I look up at him weirdly before asking. 

“How is a stick of deodorant gonna help?” 

“Same question!” Chris exclaims, pointing to me. 

“Spray-on, it’s a can” 

“Ohh, yeah, now I gotcha” 

“I still don't follow” I add, waiting for someone to explain. 

“Flamethrower!” 

“Just like we did with the little army dudes!” 

“Yup, the ones we melted” 

“You guys are madmen” I butt in, gaze going to and from them both as they talk. 

“Didn’t you ruin a couple of toys with fire?” Chris asks. 

“No?” 

“Did you even have a childhood?” Josh jokes, pushing my arm. 

I shake my head in response, letting them figure it out. If this was the way to get the door open, then let it be. 

“Anyway, lock!” 

“Yeah, flamethrower on the lock. On it!” Chris salutes, and Josh does the same back. 

“Godspeed pilgrim!” 

Chris turns around, and Josh and I jump off the powerbox, careful not to slip on the ice. I take his offered hand, my other one placed on the box as I carefully lower myself. He’s already on his way somewhere. 

“Hey, Josh…”

“Yeah?” 

“I just wanted to check on you, I know this year has been hard”

He puts his finger up, urging me to stop talking. 

“I truly appreciate that you all came back this year, I know it must feel weird. But you guys are some of my closest friends, and I don’t want to lose that” 

I nod, smiling a little his way. 

“Well, okay. Just know that we’re here here for you, anytime” 

He smiles, the atmosphere feeling lighter and lifted. 

“Thank you, you should have a grown-up talk with Chris too”

“What do you mean?” 

“You know what I mean” 

I cross my arms on my chest, unsure about how to approach the subject. 

“Josh, I want to, but it all feels a bit…”

“Icky, weird, disgusting?” 

“No, absolutely not. Maybe a bit disrespectful?” 

“To who?” 

“Your sisters” 

The air around us gets heavy again, and I beat myself up for not thinking before answering. He slowly nods his head, as if understanding something he didn’t before. 

“Okay, listen. They don’t mind” 

“It’s not that. Everything started last year?” 

“Something happened between you last year?” 

“Right when the prank happened, we were in the upstairs bathroom…”

“Shit” 

“Yeah”

“Fucking hell. And no one else knows?” 

“No, and as soon as we heard commotion downstairs, we ran to see what was happening” 

I try to explain, but everything sounds so vague and bad considering the circumstances. 

“Hey, I get it, bad start. I appreciate both you and Chris, for everything you did, also that night, but don’t let that stand in the way. If you need my blessing, you’ve got it. You both deserve each other, and last year didn’t doom you as it did others” 

I look up at him, trying to read his expression. But there’s something different there. He looks different, like another person. His eyes are empty and blind, the darkness clearly visible. Maybe this is not a good thing to talk about. 

“Thank you Josh, but I think we both need to be on the same wavelength about this, especially after not having contact for a whole year” 

He nods, and is about to turn around again when he puts his hand up, dramatically spinning around back, a finger pointed right towards me. I look at him surprised. 

“You know, I don’t think Chris will find that can on his own” 

“What? Yes he will, he’s a smart man” 

“I mean, academically, yes, but give that man a location and he might go an entire different way” 

I give him a sceptical stare, and he gives himself away as I catch a glimpse of his playful smirk. Was everyone on this mountain going to tease me? 

“None of you guys are funny, I left the others because I thought there was a chance I wouldn’t get teased here” 

“Oh, you’re no fun. You just need to shoot your shot” 

“Absolutely not!”

“God knows the only way Chris will do it, is if you put a gun to his head” 

“He might not even then” I add, the thought sinking in. If it really mattered, he would’ve done so already. Whatever these feelings are, they’ll pass. 

“Oh, I guess we’ll see. But you still need to go inside” 

A loud shriek is heard, something which definitely came from Chris. I look at Josh, and he just shrugs. Rolling my eyes, he helps me up on the power box, and I carefully make my way in. 

“Josh, it’s super creepy down here!” 

“Got your phone?” 

I reach into my pocket, grabbing my phone and turning on the flashlight. The cellar lights up, full of dusk and boxes. 

“Um, still creepy Josh!” 

There’s silence, too much. He doesn’t answer, and I try his name again, but to no avail. Shit. I would definitely struggle to climb back out, so the only option left is to find Chris or the entrance. It’s been a year, and I don’t remember everything. I walk further in, deciding to ignore every dark corner and room. The door to the hallway is open, and I quickly make my way, immediately feeling the familiarity with the dark wood and wall decorations. It’s like nothing’s changed. Except the atmosphere, and dust, and that sinking feeling that something bad will happen. I walk to the end of the hall, noticing the family portrait at the end. Beth and Hannah look so alive, the brush strokes bringing out their colour and vibrancy. I miss them, both of them. 

A loud noise bursts my bubble, making me look to my left to see the previously open door being slammed shut. My breath hitches, body tensing as I grab the doorknob. It’s locked. It probably has an automatic lock on the other side, and the wind made the door shut. There are most likely other windows open that made this happen. I breathe out, clutching my phone harder from being frightened. I just need to find Chris. That’s the only reason I'm here in the first place. 

I take a right, walking further into the building to see a door creeping open right in front of me. I wait for Chris to go through, but he doesn’t come. The door is left open, the creaking noise burrowed in my brain. This is fucked up, wasn’t it closed? I thread forward carefully, each step taken with great caution as I make my way. I look through the door, seeing the familiar sight of the lodge’s hallway and main room. Thank God. 

I walk to the door and look through the windows. Sam and Ashley are standing there, waiting for it to be opened. I knock, and they both jump at the sudden sound. 

“Just me, didn’t mean to scare you!” 

“Good, Chris already tried” Sam complains, trying to look back through the frost-covered glass. 

“Yeah, I can’t see him” 

I feel something behind me, something big and dark casting a shadow on the door. Soft yellow light approaching and a small creek right behind me. My body, which is already tense, gets stiffer, and I try the door handle to no avail. 

Two large arms go around me. One on my waist and one around my neck. I scream before my mouth is covered with a massive hand, pressing down on my lips. 

“Shit, it’s just me, just jokes” Chris smiles, letting go of me. My heart is beating out of my chest, pulse skyrocketing and breathing uneven. 

“That’s one too many for today” I state, and he gives a small laugh. 

“Sorry, couldn’t help myself” 

He comes closer, arms closing around me in a gentle manner. The touch is soft, and too short as he leans away, lifting my face to look up at him. I’m calm now, the adrenaline rush lowering and my senses coming back. 

“I swear to God, if you scare me one more time during this trip-”

“You’re such a scaredy-cat” 

“That’s the point!” 

I hear snickers outside as we keep bickering, and roll my eyes. Didn’t these people have other things to do than listen to us? I look down, seeing the spray in one of his hands. Oh, that’s right, they don’t. 

“Let’s get this thing open” I wave to the lock, and he gives a smile, hand pushing me out of the way. He puts the lighter in front of the spray, and I take another step back, just for safety measures. He sprays, the flames being big and ashy as they go against the metal lock. I look over, making sure that he stays within the secluded area, and doesn't set the wood on fire. Luckily, he seems to have full control. 

Finally, it seems enough, and before I can stop him, he’s quick to grab hold of the handle and open the door. The others thank him, while I notice the shaking and clutching of his left hand. 

“Thank you, thank you” he bows. “I’ll be here all week” 

A loud noise and fast-traveling animal runs out beside us, and I hold my breath, standing still as it passes. Chris yelps, jumping back while the other’s make way for it, letting it run back into the forest. 

“Crap, that thing freaked me out” Chris breathes out, his hand on my arm. Poor thing. 

“What was that?” Ashley asks, still laughing a bit. 

“It was like, a bear or a tiger or… something” 

“Awe, it was just a cute little baby wolverine” Sam taunts, walking past him and clapping his shoulder. The response makes me giggle, and he pulls his hand back, having both of them in the air and waiting for some consolation. 

“Baby?” 

“Don’t worry buddy, you’re gonna be a big boy soon” Josh adds, walking past him with Ashley and Matt. I give him a nudge, and we follow them into the main room of the lodge. 

“Home sweet home” Josh exclaims, hands outreached to the dark space. 

“Sweet is not the word I’d use” Matt whispers, and I agree. It’s dark, weird and feels too eerie for me. It’s like we’re in a horror game. Ashley rubs her arms, trying to stay warm. 

“Oh my gosh, it’s so good to be inside, even though it’s still freezing” 

“I’ll get a fire going” Josh walks over to the fireplace, placing down some logs and setting up. 

“This place barely looks any different” Matt comes up beside me, looking over all the furniture. 

“My thoughts exactly” I tell him, meeting his eyes. There’s some kind of worry in them. I bet he still feels bad. No wonder, no one should really feel good being up here. Not after what happened. 

“What’s up, party people!” 

“Hey!” 

Mike and Jessica make their entrance, both psyched to get the action going. Most of us greet them back, but I notice that Matt doesn’t. He looks at Mike with contempt, something dark brewing. That’s what we all need now, some drama. I walk over to Ashley, sitting beside her on the sofa. Don’t want to be in the fire-zone when the shooting starts. 

“Make yourself at home, bro” Josh tells Mike, still fumbling with the fire. 

“Will do” 

“Yeah, come on in” 

Shit, now it starts. I give Ashley a look, and she leans in to whisper something to me. I listen while the drama unfolds in front of me. 

“I was by one of the telescopes earlier, and saw Mike and Emily exchange quite an ‘intimate’ hug. Matt wanted to see, and I was unsure about what to do, but he just looked anyway. I think it really hit a nerve” 

“No wonder” I whisper back. “Wouldn’t you be pissed if you saw your partner do that with an ex. The ex right before you. Who, you have A LOT of history with?” 

“Well, yeah, of course” 

Things seemed to have cooled off a bit between the two, Mike with both of his hands up in surrender and Matt taking a step back. Mike walks over to Jess, arm going to the back of the sofa, behind her. She nuzzles into him, and I can already sense Emily’s anger before she wanders into the lodge scoffing. This was going to be a long retreat. 

“Oh my god, that is so gross. Are you trying to swallow his face whole?” she walks towards them slowly, stopping a couple of meters away, arms crossed over her chest. Not more drama. Matt takes a step towards her, hand reaching a little out for her. 

“Em…” 

I can imagine how he feels, seeing his girlfriend and ex like that, and then seeing his girlfriend get jealous. Still, he isn’t aggravated anymore, just trying to calm her with small steps. She doesn’t budge, but keeps looking at the couple with disgust.

“Seriously, can she be any more obvious?” 

Jess snuggles further into Mike, taunting her and showing him off. I can already see that Mike’s getting uncomfortable, knowing something is about to blow up. Emily leans a bit down, as if talking to a toddler, staring Jess down. 

“No one wants in on your territory, honey” 

“Excuse me, did you say something?” 

Jess now rises, walking up to her. The tension in the room strengthens, and I look over to the others, but everyone is fixated on the next move, sucking in the drama like sweet nectar. I sigh, feeling Ashley’s hand on mine, uncomfortably shifting as she watches. This’ll go nowhere, the bickering and bitching. If someone doesn’t stop them, they’ll keep going, maybe even get physical. 

“Hey, watch it!” 

“Oh, you’re the only one who can put him down? No one else gets to play with your toys?”

I lean over to Ashley, whose eyes are still glued to the fight. 

“Is none going to stop them?” 

“I wouldn’t dare to put myself in that position” 

Josh stands up, shaking the ash off his fingers. 

“Stop it! This is not why we came up here, this is not helping. It’s not what I wanted” 

Sam stands up as well, taking a few steps and adding to the statement. 

“If we can’t get along for ten minutes, maybe we just need a little break?” 

Josh looks over at her, an appreciative smile on his lips, then turning back to the others. 

“Yes! Mike, why don’t you check out the guest cabin, the one I told you about?” 

Mike stands up, hand outstretched for Jess. 

“Yeah, want to go do that?” 

“Any place without that whore” 

“It’s right up the trail” Josh adds as they walk out. Emily finally turns around, noticing our big eyes and awkward faces. Matt imitates an explosion, causing her to roll her eyes. I take a breath, looking over at Chris. His lips are thinned, and he also lets out some air. Jeez, that was a lot for most of us. Hopefully, things get better tomorrow. Matt walks over to Josh, noticing the lacking fire. 

“So, should we get this fire going?” 

“Yeah, working on it” 

“Where’s my bag?” Emily asks, looking over at Matt. 

“Huh?” 

“My bag… The little one with the pink pattern, the one I got on Rodeo” 

Her boyfriend gives her a dumbfounded expression, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Matt, are you listening? Matt, I need my bag!”

“Oh my god Em, maybe you just forgot it!”

“Do you seriously think I’d just forget my bag?” 

“Well, I-”

“Do you?” 

“Guess not” 

“You must’ve left it down by the cable car station” 

“Ugh”

“Come on, hun. We’ll be back soon” 

Matt sighs, walking over to her by the door. 

“Then we can get warm?” 

“We can get very warm” 

He caves, arm outstretched and letting her lead him out. I lean back on the couch, energy drenched. God, why did I come? Ashley leans back, lips against my ear as she whispers. 

“See how easy it is for them to say what they want to do to each other instead of OBVIOUSLY thinking loudly?” 

I hit her, and she laughs. All the others look over curiously, but I just shake my head to them. 

“Okay, I’m gonna go take a bath” Sam exclaims, patting Josh’s shoulder and walking up the stairs. 

“Need help?” Ashley asks, already making her way beside her. 

“N-” she hits her, looking over at us before agreeing. I roll my eyes as they both walk upstairs. 

“What’s that all about?” Chris asks, and I tell him nothing. I can see Josh trying to hide his smile, still unable to get the fire going. 

“Shit, forgot to give Mike and Jess the keys” He stands up, and I do the same. 

“I’ll sprint over with them” 

He walks backwards, looking at both of us while throwing the keys up and down, catching them in his hands every time. 

“No, no. You guys are guests, get comfy, have sex, whatever” 

“Man” Chris interjects, but he turns around and laughs. 

“It’s what everyone else is doing, just follow the herd” 

He disappears around the corner, and I sit back down. They finally made things even more awkward between us. The silence is deafening, only broken by a couple of giggles from upstairs. 

“I guess we should talk” Chris suddenly says, eyes still on the ground, body leaning forward on his knees. The cold is almost as bad as the sinking feeling in my stomach, but I still nod in reply. 

“Let's get a fire going first, it’s icy in here” 

“Coming right up” he says with his comedic voice, the tone lightening the mood. We both walk over to the fireplace, setting up the last logs and lighting some matches. I watch his fingers as he does. The fingers tensing a little as he swipes the match to create fire. He  leans into the fireplace, and manages to light right on the bark, setting the logs ablaze. I hum at the light, the air around us starting to get a little bit foggy and warmer. 

I look up at him, noticing how close his face is. I carefully inch closer, everything in the background blurry as I look into his eyes. They’re wanting, as if needing something, or someone. His mouth is slightly open, and I bite my lip a little in anticipation. Both of our breaths are heavy and uneven, and I can feel it on my chin as he gets closer. 

“I gave you five minutes!” Josh exclaims, and we both jump back. We look up, and Josh is standing between us, the girls on the top of the stairs watching intently. I stand up, making my way back to the couch. Chris does the same, pushing a smiling Josh out of the way. 

“We were building the fire you so miserably failed at” 

“Damn, harsh man” 

“Sam, want to help me beat up Chris?” Josh shouts. 

“I was just getting into the bath!” Sam responds, shouting down from upstairs. He gets a playful smirk on his lips, hand going to his mouth to carry his words further. 

“And, do you need any help with that?!” 

“Hardy har” 

Chris and I look at each other, before looking at the flirt. He has a slight blush on his face, almost invisible. 

“Well, if it isn’t the little Sammy-lover” Chris smiles, leaning cockily back on the couch. 

“At least he wishes to be”

“I hate both of you” 

“Maybe he’s the one who needs to be left alone for five minutes?” 

“Shut up” 

He laughs a little, and I smile at the thought of him finally opening up a bit. This was healthy for him, feeling like this. I’m still unsure about the whole lodge-ordeal, but so far, he’s good. 

“You know, we have a spirit board here somewhere” He says, side-eyeing us with a sly smirk. 

“A what?” 

“Wow, you have a spirit board?” Chris asks, leaning forward interested. 

“Yeah, yeah, they’re fun right?” 

“Absolutely not” I say, shaking my head. After everything that has happened here, I’m not checking for ghosts and demons, that’s the last thing we should be doing. 

“Should we have a seance?” 

“No”

“Yes” 

“They’re a joke, they don’t do shit” I try, but my argument fails. 

“I know, but it's still interesting” Chris says. 

I look over at him, and he’s looking at me pleadingly. Puppy eyes and a pouty mouth. I try to resist, but my defences fall, and I sigh. They both take it as defeat and cheer. 

“But, only if I get Ashley with me” 

“She’ll be easy to convince” 

“Josh! No hot water, kind of a major oversight don’t you think?” Sam says, coming down the stairs. Ashley walks behind her, coming down to take her place beside me. 

“Yeah, yeah, just gotta fire up the boiler, it’s in the basement” 

He turns to us, already beginning to leave with Sam. 

“You guys see if you can find the spirit board” 

“A spirit board?” Ashley asks, and I just sigh. “They forced me to” 

“Can’t say no to this handsome face” Chris smiles, getting up to look for the board” 

“Come on, let’s go find it, it’ll be like a scavenger hunt” and she drags me up by the arms as I whine. “Fine” 

We look for a while. At one point, we lose Chris. He walked into another room, not to be seen again. I try closets and shelves, but cannot find anything. 

“Think it’s time to regroup?” 

“Yeah”

We walk back to the main room, voices immediately heard. 

“Holy crab, you were scared, admit it”

“I was not!”

“Come on, you totally pissed yourself!”

“Josh!” 

Up the stairs comes the three guys, Chris wearing a monk-costume. I look him up and down while Ashley’s laughing so hard she almost can’t stand. She has to turn away to calm herself. I smile, walking towards him as he joins his hands in prayer. 

“What the hell are you wearing?” 

“I’ve found my true calling?” he says, hands making a cross over me. 

“You know monks can’t own stuff, or have relationships, or sex?” 

He thinks for a bit, looking me up and down with a small smirk. Is he… cocky?

“I guess I need to change profession then” 

“Omg, will you take a vow of silence?” Ashley laughs, coming up beside me. He starts talking without sound. And I can’t help the small snicker that escapes my lips. 

“Okay, okay, we get it” 

He draws forward the spirit board, and I whine again. Why did we have to do this? 

“Here’s our one-way ticket to the spirit realm” 

Sam is already walking up the stairs, not wanting to take part in the activities. I almost want to join her. A hot bath clearly beats seeking demons. But I don’t, instead, I take off my coat and hang it on a chair before walking over to the others. 

“Bold move of you with the sex-comment” Ashley whispers, and I give her a small smile and I rest my head against her shoulder. 

“Well, you all have told me to be a bit more forward” 

“That’s my girl”

Taglist: @porcelainbluedove @b3rryb3t

[yoohyeon]

Can’t wait for the moment I won’t worry about my health anymore

[quinnverse]

Belle snorted, raising her hand to her mouth as an amused chuckle bubbled from her lips. “I’m not sure anyone would consider two ladies scaling the side of a manor to be noble, but I appreciate the thought. I nearly twisted my ankle climbing the trellises. The damned man just had to have his study on the third floor.” Shaking her head, Belle let the thought go. The trio had been lucky that night. With the Earl out of his house and his house staff oblivious enough to the trespassers, the mission had been successful. But Belle wasn't ignorant to the fact that such a thing could've gone horribly wrong.

“Would they?" She rose her eyebrows and offered him a pointed stare. "Because from what Emma says about American men, they are just as scared of strong women here as they are in England. Granted, I merely assumed it was a flaw in the sex rather than the origin, but perhaps I was wrong."

Listening to him recount tales of his disorderly conduct, Belle couldn't help but grin. It was hard to imagine the well-spoken and charming man that stood before her could be capable of causing any sort of scene, but she supposed it wasn't impossible. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that hardly knew John, and, in the grand scheme of things, they were practically strangers. They had not grown up together like she and Emma, nor had they been friends for years like she and Dunford. Even so, Belle couldn't deny the connection she felt with him.

“You broke a window? Not with your fists, I hope. I image that would make quite the mess." Belle tried to picture what the scene might've looked like. She'd seen her brother drunken and disorderly a handful of times, but even then Ned was purely clumsy with his words and money.

“I wouldn’t hurt a fly without good cause, at least. The same can be said for my attitude towards men. But, fortunately, I do not wish for you to shake in your boots in my presence. Slight apprehension of angering me would suffice. Thankfully, I do not envision you being on the receiving end of my ire any time soon. And that is not a challenge.”

“She does not hold disdain for men, I assure you. It is distrust she holds for them. As do most of them towards her. Most people think her weak and incapable of business merely because of the body she was born in. If she were a man, no one would question her dreams. Her brashness… it’s a defense mechanism of sorts. Like a porcupine. If she’s bristly and off putting enough from the get go, then it’s harder to hurt her. Not impossible, mind you, but certainly harder.

“You didn’t hear it from me, but Uncle John and Mama have both been hoping she finds a nice English gentleman to marry. It’s why he sponsors her to partake in the social seasons every now and again. Of course, under the guise of visiting family. I can only imagine before long, theyll grow impatient and arrange something for her. She’s quite determined to commit to the bit.

“What?” Belle’s head shot up at his question. From all she had gathered, Emma had taken interest in this John Bolton. After her arrival it wasn’t hard to see why her cousin had become so infatuated with him, but Belle had hardly expected herself to fall for him too. She had reasoned that they were friends. If they were to be anything more than that, it would have to be in-laws, or something of the like. If Emma liked him, Belle had no right pursuing him. And yet the idea of him wanting her made a bubble of guilt rise in her chest.

“Well,” She swallowed hard, fidgeting with her hands as she spoke. “I suppose it would depend on what level of interest the gentleman had. If it is a fleeting infatuation, then I would certainly advise him not to act brashly. And I would kindly remind him that if I am to partake in a courtship, I would wish for it to be genuine. That, ideally, it would end in marriage and, in time, a family.”

A moment passed as her thoughts raced to organize themselves in her mind. She was only silent for a few seconds but it felt like hours in her head before she opened her mouth again to speak.

“So, if the gentleman’s interest aligned with such ideals.... then I would hardly consider it a foolhardy endeavor.” Taking a deep breath, Belle finally rose her gaze to look at him, the blush in her cheeks brighter than ever. “In fact, I believe I would advise him to make his interest known. Because I think I would be quite interested as well. In a courtship, I mean. With the gentleman.”

Benjamin offered a soft smile. "It's a noble response, wishing to protect the innocent. If it weren't for the necessity of this war, I wouldn't support violence of any kind -- and animals, as you know, are helpless and lacking a voice. I don't fault you for both wanting to protect, and enjoying the thrill of the hunt."

Belle appeared unconvinced. "But admitting as much to any man in high society would earn me a proper shunning. And would practically ensure no man would ever wish to marry me."

Benjamin snorted. "What high society are you traversing?" he asked. "Here in the colonies, any man would leap to wed a self-sufficient woman. I, myself, grew up in a hamlet that more or less required our womenfolk to be able to shoot." Here, he appraised her with interest. "If you are truly serious about it, I could always teach you? If...i-if you wanted?"

While they strode around the room, Belle's expression glimmered with smug amusement, and once she revealed her story about breaking and entering, Benjamin barely concealed a soft laugh.

"I consider that honorable, not worthy of a fine," he replied, grinning. "But me? I, on the other hand, was fined for disorderly conduct. I drank too much and broke a few windows. At least you were seeking to protect your brother...so no, I'm afraid my skepticism remains." Here, he fondly tweaked the tip of her nose. "You wouldn't hurt a fly, Lady Blydon, and I'm certainly never going to start shaking in my boots once you come around."

Unless, of course, he considered how wholly upended she made him.

Belle vowed she would return -- that she would visit again -- and his heart hop-skipped like a stone across a pond. Slowly, his mouth quirked into a sly smile. "Getting your cousin to marry is a bit difficult, if her disdain of men is anything to go by," he offered. "She's beautiful and charming, in her own right, but I think she'd much rather tar and feather herself than be bound by the ties of matrimony."

Hearing that Belle's aunt married an American was a bit surprising, but Benjamin wouldn't deny that he felt encouraged. "No one could begrudge her that," he affirmed. "To be apart from one's grandchildren would be the ultimate anguish."

Belle swiveled about to face him, a challenging shine flashing in her eyes. "As a suitor, you would've been one of the more enticing prospects. It's not everyday I find a man that can keep up with me. And by 'keep up' I mean tolerate me. You're truly a rare breed, John Bolton."

Benjamin gaped at her for a long moment, genuinely thrown by her bold-faced remark. His breath remained trapped inside his lungs, and with his face warming beneath her appraisal, he managed a soft, "I feel far more for you than just tolerance, Lady Blydon." Far, far more.

Wincing, he looked away. Had that been too much? Or were they to continue skirting around the inevitable?

Belle, too, finally seemed afflicted by the thick silence in the room as she stammered, "But perhaps... Perhaps it is a good thing that you're not a suitor. It would certainly make it much harder to return home if there was a gentleman I was actually interested in."

Benjamin swallowed, his mouth unspeakably dry. "And what of the gentleman?" he lowly asked, keeping his eyes averted. "If he were to show interest, would you advise that he keep his foolhardiness to himself?"

[shikai-the-storyteller]

It's taking me ages to write this chapter because every time I look through old VODs / notes to check something, I come across moments like this that make me want to lie down face-first on the floor:

[Context: Pac commits to the idea of taking the Happy Pills so he can create a cure. He's about to write a note to Cellbit to explain his plan.]

Pac: If Cellbit puts himself in this position, it's worse for everyone, because Cellbit is smarter when it comes to coming up with strategic plans, so he is the thinking mind of the Favela Five group, so if he no longer has the mind, he’s not capable of solving this whole problem, you know? But if I put myself in this position to help Cellbit so he can get the cure... You understand? It's better if I'm the bait. Right? I can't- I can't carry things alone guys, I've already lost Mike [...] if I lose Cellbit and I alone had to carry things, I won't be able to. But I think Cellbit can manage better. He is more independent, and he has Roier. He has a husband. I'm trying to– to be lucid here, understand? That's all.

Date: September 11, 2023 || Timestamp: 03:10:10

[hyunpic]

hyunjin on bubble: im drawing and i started wondering why i even draw. so i can’t sleep.. staying in that period of transition. the reason why i keep asking these questions and trying to find answers is, i think it’s because i believe that it’s only those who love me, that can help me find an answer or a path. because thinking about and questioning things that you don’t really need to think about and answering those questions is contradicting in itself.. is what i think? (translation source)

[shatcey]

Oh, Dari… There are so many gaps in him that it would be a crime not to try to fill them in. I'll add some of my thoughts. I hope you don't mind.

At first I thought about the crown… the crown symbol. And the fact that Kate had put it on him. It's like a gift… She gave him a crown. Our beloved boys? Or the whole country? This is big.

But I'm more fixated on the laurel flowers. These are not leaves but the flowers. And they must have some other meaning. What I found isn't that much different from the leaves, but it's still different.

Glory, ambition, perseverance.

Does he have a purpose? Or does he not have it, but he wants to have it? Is that what these flowers are supposed to hint at? Does he want to achieve his goal? Or… something completely different? He comes from a very poor family. Maybe this tree has a more personal meaning?

But according to the Wiki, there are no such trees in Germany… and there is not them in England either. (deep exhale) Why am I even surprised?

He seems to like her persistence, her stubbornness. He likes how easy it is to manipulate her emotions, but he seems to admire how much emotion she has. Could it be because of his inability to understand them? It's like a child who sees so many shiny things at once. Pretty…

But I think what impresses him the most is the fact that she does everything he asks of her own free will. The fact that she desided herself… I can't find another word… serves him. Him… Don't get me wrong, I don't think he has low self-esteem, but he's a very rational person and doesn't see a rational reason for her actions…

I think my imagination took me too far away… I should stop.

Ohhh Darius….

/head pats him.

There there, we’ll help you understand human emotions, just you wait.

Basically, it was confirmed in the 2nd anniversary event that he doesn’t understand human emotions— as suspected.

Kate has to explain to him why he was glad/relieved that she regained her memory, and he still thinks she’s just joking with him.

He also seems to take issue with things that change, and things that can’t be seen. He gives the example of love and how people vow to be together forever even when they don’t know the future.

Which I felt was interesting being that his a part of his curse is that he can see someone’s unfortunate outcome.

I’m not a Dari expert, but I get it he vibe that unless he knows for a fact what the outcome of a situation will be, then it’s foolish to believe in anything that could be considered variable.

Wonder what happened in his past???

A part from that (and this is just a random side note), but there is a laurel wreath crown that Kate made for him, and I thought it interesting that it’s specifically a laurel wreath crown.

Context: Basically, Kate mentions she used to make flower crowns as a child and Darius challenges her to make one from a laurel tree. Kate ends up taking up his challenge and loses her memory when she’s on her way to take the crown to him. After she regains her memories then she places the crown on his head.

Questions/Suppostions: Could it simply have been a plot device? Probably. But, I think it’s worth mentioning that Nica has told Darius before that he is on Darius side because Nica sees him as the “winner,” of whatever it is he’s up to.

Laurels have many symbolic meanings, but Victory is what comes to mind for most, and Kate placing it on his head…..Well, I’m just saying.