#the concert was great but I feel like it may have fucked up my body again I climb so many stairs cause I was at the balcony 😭

[asherthehimbo]

Love talk - Song Mingi

prev | M. list | next chapter | [WITH MY BIAS?]

words: 2.3K

notes: warnings, mature language, Mingi going through it, HONGJOONG is going throigh it bro somebody save him

“I'm still not seeing him, what if he's really not here, what if I lost my one chance to be with the love of my life because I was stupid and clumsy and spilled water over a fucking card when I should've put the number in my phone the moment I saw the card. Or what if he is here and he doesn't recognize me because my hair is different what if-” Mingi's panic is stopped by Yunho, “Calm down” it's simple and had it been anybody else those words would not serve to soothe him, but Yunho's been his rock for longer than he could remember and they offer at least a bit of comfort.

Sitting in a Vip box right in front of the stage, Mingi and the rest of his members try and look around for the person Mingi described, it's a break in the concert and the first half had been great, the lead guitarist Hongjoong loves was back and had even angled his guitar in their direction a couple of times, whatever that meant. He was dressed differently from the other members of his band, his whole body covered, almost in a cultish cloak which matches with the vibe of the first few songs, but Mingi couldn't bring himself to focus on that too much.

He was constantly looking back, trying to spot the mess of pink hair between the see of bright pinks and blacks behind him, it was fruitless, he knew the area was too big for him to see [Name] by himself, and his friends had agreed to help during the breaks but they had been invested in the concert whenever the music riff would start. Something about the lead singer's voice seemed almost familiar, calling out to him but he pushed it back, ignored it in favor of looking through the crowds, it may seem disrespectful but he'd apologize after the show, they would understand right?

“I can't just calm down Yunho, I know you guys think it's silly and that I only knew him for a week but it was- It was just so real. It was like he knew me, like I knew him. He held me like I was the one thing he'd been searching for and it couldn't have been just my own mind Yunho, and I hate it. I hate it because the thought of not seeing him again didn't even cross my mind. I've started to forget his voice, do you know how much that breaks me?“ Mingi is almost crying, not caring that if anyone were to look into the box they'd see him.

“Listen, I know we all thought it was silly at first, but we know how much this means to you, I know how much this means to you. We'll find him alright? even if it's not right now, we'll find him, you don't have to worry. Just, just try and enjoy the rest of the concert, try and relax, if you're relaxed your memory might become more clear. Just for a few songs, if you still aren't feeling better you and I can walk out and get some fresh air okay? you said you met him outside last time, we'll look for him then” Yunho hand on Mingi's shoulder grounds him as he tries to blink away the tears, grateful for the dimming of studio lights as the concert will supposedly begin again.

He can hear the band walk back up the stage, the voice of the lead singer humming and a few giggles of the others ringing through the stadium. He can't see them, the lights are far too dark for that. “We've teased you a lot recently haven't we my petals?” The voice of the lead singer speaks for the first time that night, Mingi tilts his head in confusion at the feeling stirring in his chest, but it's blocked out by the screams of ‘yes’ from the crowd, the loudest being Hongjoong beside him.

“hmm, I'm pretty sure they've figured it out, our petals are smart” a female voice speaks from the stage, “yeah!” two other voices agree. “Very true, Soyeon” the crowd goes wild as a name is said, making Mingi remember that until now, it seems, everyone in this band has stayed anonymous. “Well, petals, I'm afraid I can no longer call only you mine.. you see, you've supported us through a lot, helped us in our search for our pink flower” he speaks again, Mingi faintly recalls Hongjoong giving everyone a run down on the bands lore, how the pink carnation is supposed to symbolize the happiest part of their life, their heaven.

“Even gave some of us ours” another voice says, “shut up Beomgyu” a female voice , different from the one identified as Soyeon speaks, the crowd loses it again as another member's name is revealed. “You're just jealous Petals love me more, Ryunjin” Beomgyu spits back, and this time Mingi is prepared for the eruption of screams that don't seem to end. “You two fight like an old married couple” the drummers, Mingi thinks, voice speaks. “SHUT UP CHANGBIN” the two shout in unison. The crowd is lively, all screaming newly learned names of the ones they love, next to Mingi Hongjoong is losing his mind as he buzzes in his seat waiting for his bias, the last name to be revealed.

“If I could continue my earlier sentence” the unnamed male speaks as the two youngest let out tiny huff’s of sorry’s, the crowd going dead silent as his unsaid way of asking for silence reaches them. “Tonight, as you could tell, we are sharing ourselves with you fully, and to do that, I wrote a song, it's quite different from what we usually give you, and for that I'm sorry. But as our story has gone on, and we've seen glimpses of all the incarnations pink flower” he takes a deep breath, “I believe I've found mine.. he's in the crowd tonight, so I hope he knows this songs for him” the last words are a bit shaky, and Mingi silently applauds the man for being brave enough to share this part of himself with his fans.

“Alright guys, don't go easy on him, you gotta tell him if you don't like his simpy song right?” Soyeon asks and the crowd gives a corus of agreement. “Here it is, Love talk, written by [Name] [Last name]” she screams, the crowd screaming with her as the lights turn on and the music starts. The air is sucked out of Mingi's chest, the name hitting him hard, the face he's met with afop the stage, staring down at him the moment the lights turned on, now dressed in much more revealing clothing, body littered with the tattoos Mingi recalls in his dreams? they hit him even harder.

It's not him who starts the song, but he's mouthing something to Mingi before he starts his own part, Mingi can't tell what it is he's saying. He can feel the eyes of his members on him, boring into him as they recognize the name and description, all probably equally as shocked as he is, but he can't tear his eyes away from the man atop the stage. The words he had said previously floating around in his head, the song was written for him, for Mingi.

Falling for a stranger (Yeah), good gracious (Yeah)

I might even fly out to Vegas (Catch a flight)

I'm thinking maybe you'd be down to do it (Yeah)

But you don't know what I'm saying (Saying)

[Name] moves his left hand that's not holding the mic, pointing his wrist in the direction of the crowd as the camera zooms in on what he's showing, a little pink flower, tattooed in the middle of his wrist, it's vine creeping up the palm of his hand and wrapping around his middle finger. He smiles at Mingi hopefully, and Mingi only smiles in turn.

“with MY bias, you fucking slept with MY bias I can't have ONE thing in this group YEARS I spent thirsting for this man and you got to him first!” Hong Jong wails, as he's being comforted by Seonghwa, the members being in a room backstage, they were brought here by the security guards after the concert had ended, being told “The incarnations want to see you.” and no further explanation.

Mingi's stomach is rumbling with nerves, now that he's not looking at [Name], that [Name] isn't looking at him he wonders if the other is mad, he paces back and forth in the room, blocking out Hongjoongs wails and Jongho and Yeosangs giggles. He knows the thought is irrational, the man had just done an identity reveal just so Mingi would recognize him, but there's still a nagging voice at the back of his brain.

“Still can't believe you slept with him, - like I can't believe he's [Name], like damn dude I get why you loved his fingers now.“ Yunho speaks from where he sits and eats some candy, his face between impressed and uninterested. Mingi wants to smother him. “Never really given my fingers much thought, I'm glad flower liked them” a deep voice speaks from the doorway, the now open doorway, the doorway that [Name] and the rest of his band are standing in.

The voices in the back of Mingi's head disappear and his body acts on instinct as he moves to [Name], the taller meeting him midway and their lips entwining in a passionate kiss. Mingi's hands steady themselves on [Name’s] shoulders, fearing his legs might give out beneath him if he doesn't, the guitarist has one hand, his left hand, on Mingi's cheek, the other gripping his hip like a lifeline.

When they break away, eyes locking and laughter bubbling from their throats, Mingi hears a whine behind them. “Goddamnt, now I owe Ryujin 20 bucks. You couldn't have waited 5 minutes?” Beomgyu grumbles as he plops himself on the first open chair he sees. “I'll give you forty if you stop placing bets on me” [Name] says as he spins Mingi around so they're both facing the rest of the people in the room. Mingi's back pressed against his chest so tight he can feel the other's beating heart, his waist encircled by [Name’s] arms as he rested his chin on Mingi's shoulder.

“Deal!” Beomgyu chirps from where he sits, “I swear you're all idiots, introduce yourselves” Soyeon gives her bandmates a pointed look and they all make ‘O’ faces in realization that they have yet to do that. “There's no need, Hongjoong-Hyung raves about-” San’s words are stopped shen Hongjoongs hand loudly slaps his mouth shut, looking at the band in a panic. “what he means to say is we heard on the stage, right?“ Hongjoong directs the last word threateningly at San, who nods his head fearfully with watery eyes. Hongjoong releases his hand from San’s mouth, the younger immediately backing away from Hongjoong and pouting as he looks at Wooyoung who is clearly much more interested in what's going on than San’s pain.

“ah, same here, [Name] won't shut up about you guys he's been a fan since like debut” Ryujins words are met with a loud cackle from Beomgyu about the fact that his friend just got outed, and a grumble from [Name who simply hides his face in Mingi's shoulder as the idol gives him a curious look.

“So I guess we're like… members in law” Changbin tries to joke, earning a loud laugh from Wooyoung, the sound immediately making him brighten up. “I'm gonna take Flower so me and him can talk someplace private” [Name] speaks before directing his attention to Ateez, “really it is nice meeting you all and it would be an honor to talk more, but flower is more important to me” he tells them as he drags Mingi out of the room, pausing for a moment to look back at Hongjoong, “for what it's worth Captain, you were my bias wrecker” he says with a cheeky grin before closing the door, Hongjoong sitting still for a moment before letting out a strangled cry that's muffled by the door.

“flower?“ is the first thing Mingi asks when he and [Name] enter a room alone. [Name] only nods, “mhm, do you not like it?” he looks at Mingi with a hint of nervousness Mingi hasn't seen on him before, it was kind of endearing. “NO! no no I mean Uhm I like it but it's just… I don't know, didn't think you would have remembered me, especially named me after something so important” Mingi mumbles.

“I know it may seem like a shocker but I do actually like you, I mean I didn't exactly learn korean for nothing” [Name] huffs out a puff of laughter, but his words hit Mingi, he learnt a language for Mingi. “I- I never called you” is all Mingi could reply with, [Name] only nods in response, “yeah.. “ he bites the inside of his cheek.

“It's not that I didn't want to- god I wanted to, it's just- I lost your number- well not lost more so as spill water-” Mingi starts to panic but is cut off by the feeling of [Name’s] lips connecting to his own once again. He's silenced, feeling the tallers hand rest on his neck to hold him in place. The kiss is broken as their foreheads are rested against one another. “My Flower, I could honestly care less” [Name] breathes out, “Whatever happened, you still decided to show up, and you have yet to reject me, so I could honestly care less on why you didn't contact me” He removes his head from Mingi's as he looks down at him. “I don't want to think about the year I spent without you when you're in my arms now” he says, and Mingi responds by kissing him again, a smile on his own lips.

Ateez masterlist | navigation

Taglist [30/19][open]: @idkwhatto-namethis @foxilsdenn @cometaveintisiete @poweringthroughthis @astro-doll-the-star @dahbee8 @mikahrh @moonslie04 @boopboopedoop @bee-the-loser @brrrkdslek @amphiroxx @ddeonubaby @ddextrr @conwunder @the-most-things-fan @ficlibrarie @leezanetheofficial @seongsangssbitch

notes: chat this is not proofread and im sick so please lmk if you find any mistakes

copyright | 2024 | @asherthehimbo

[yoohyeon]

Can’t wait for the moment I won’t worry about my health anymore

[light-end-dragon]

Chapter 1

Cain: Okay! This is definitely the place that request was talking about.

Arthur: Yes, the map that was included all but confirms it, but…Master Sage, do you sense anything? 

Akira: No, I thought this would be a desolate place, but there’s nothing really distinct…

The three of us tilted our heads in concert, confused about the outcome.

We were visiting a deserted town in the Central kingdom, on yet another report of an incident caused by the Great Calamity. 

“There is something terrifying haunting the ruins of the former town-the air is so cold scary it’s so horrible please come quickly” That was all the chaotic contents of the letter said, so we went immediately to investigate-

Bradley: Lemme give you what I think. These weird-ass air chills and fear they’re talkin’ about or whatever- it ain’t caused by the Calamity at all. 

Arthur: Is there a reason you’re able to be so certain, Bradley? 

Bradley: It’s real simple. You lot would even be able to figure it out eventually; do you see any signs of the Calamity bein’ here? 

Bradley: Cause there aren’t any. And so my job here is done. 

Cain: Okay, okay. Look, I know you’re just here for the pardon, but we can’t exactly bring a proper end to this deal like that. 

Bradley: Who gives a shit about proper? If it’s nothin’, it’s nothin’. 

Bradley: The twins jus’ flapped their traps about  “helpin’ investigate this strange incident.” If you want me to hunt down this 'chilly thing', I’m gonna need some extra incentive. 

Bradley gave a flippant wave of the hand, but for some reason, his gaze kept shifting over to the forest on the other side of the ruined walls. 

Akira:  ….? Um, Bradley, is there something over–

Bradley: Have a good rest of yer night there-don’t fuck ‘round too long! 

(Sound of Bradley whooshing away.)

Arthur: Ah-! He’s gone…..

Cain: Of course he is…..but at any rate, I should probably wrap it up this one time now. 

Cain: Magic and curses aren't the only things that would cause chills and strange behaviors like this. If its poison or a sickness, it’s better to let doctors take the stage. 

Arthur: That is a good point….Master Sage, Cain and I can report back to Drummond this time. 

Arthur: It may be useful to approach this from a different angle for us to help the frightened residents….would that be okay with you? 

Akira: Of course. Please, if you two wouldn’t mind…

Arthur: Thank you very much, Master sage. Then shall we return to the Manor as well?

Cain: Yeah.

Cain nodded, but then oddly his gaze drifted over to the ruined walls. He muttered something under his breath, like he didn’t want anyone to hear. 

Cain: Still…it wasn’t from the Calamity? 

Cain: This has to be where that incident took place, though….

Akira: That incident….?

Arthur + Sacrificium: ….!

With a sudden snap, both Arthur and Sacrikitty turned towards the forest. 

Just one beat behind, Cain turned around as well, ready to face whatever it was. 

(Sound of wind blowing through.)

There wasn’t a chance for me to wonder how or why as a cold icy wind flew past my face.

Because the temperature then dropped dramatically, to an unnatural degree. 

There was no need to ask Cain or Arthur what was going on; I understood instinctively.

Something terrifying was heading towards us from the forest.

Akira: (Oh God, oh God, I’m so scared, it’s so scary so scary so scary scary oh God….) 

Nothing was even happening, yet my legs gave out underneath me, forcing me to shakily sit on the ground.

(Sound of clothes shifting as Akira falls onto the ground.)

Hugging Sacrikitty close, I buried my face into its body, feeling like I was losing control of myself from the horrid chill. 

I was afraid I might let out a cry if I didn’t. 

Cain: Akira?! Are you okay??! 

Arthur: Master Sage……I-what….why…why can’t I move?!! 

Arthur had his gaze cast deliberately down, like he was trying to avert his eyes from something. 

(Sound of leaves rustling in the distance.)

As he did so, the trees in the forest started rustling. 

Something was coming; something I must not look at. 

Akira: Aahh…..

It was just a fleeting shadow on the edge of my vision, but it was enough for me to form a picture; a strange, distorted figure covered in a pitch black mourning veil, dragging the train along in the dirt.

A swollen, distorted head shaped like rotten fruit; skeletal arms so long they almost touched the ground; and a body that was twisted a complete 180 degrees towards us.

Akira: …..ck……

Arthur: Th…that's…..the spirit…..

Cain: Master Sage, Arthur!

(Sound of footsteps running.)

Neither Arthur nor I were able to raise our heads still, but I heard the sound of frantic footsteps as Cain burst out between us and the approaching figure. 

Cain: Run!! I’ll hold it off!!

Arthur: C….Cain! No….it’s dangerous!

Cain: That’s why you need to get out of here!! Go, now!! 

(Sound of Cain drawing his sword.)

Cain raised his sword as the sound of gravel being crunched underfoot drew nearer. 

Cain: Fuck, this really is some sort of demon! I…I can see it just fine…..

???: sA…W……saw…

???: You…sAW it.

Cain: Huh? 

???: You saw iT….you sawit yousawityousawityousawitYOUSAWITYOUSAWITYOUSAWITYOUSAWITYOUSAWITYOUSAWYOUSAWYOUSAWYOUSAWYOUSAW

Bradley: ….Don’t make eye contact, you fucking idiot!!!

(Sound of magic, then several gunshots being fired.)

An echo of a gunshot rang out, and instantly the oppressive chill faded.

When I finally managed to raise my head, I caught a glimpse of the spirit trying to flee into the forest, Bradley hovering above us on his broom.

Cain, who had stood his ground between us and the demonic being, lowered his sword with a sigh of relief.

All the while tears of thick, oozing blood trailed from his golden-colored eye. 

Akira + Arthur: ….?!

Cain: Uaah!! What the-what the hell-?! 

Bradley: Fuck, this is why I wanted to get outta here!

Bradley cursed up a storm, all the while wiping at his eyes with his thumb. Even so, I could still see the dark red color that stained his skin.

Akira: Cain! Bradley…!

Arthur: Are you two okay?! I’m so sorry, it’s because I couldn’t move……

Cain: It’s not your fault, Arthur. See? The two of us are fine-

Bradley: We ain’t fine.

Bradley: This blood’s the sign of a curse. Me an’ Mr. Knight here are cursed.

Arthur: Cursed…?

Bradley: Yep.

Bradley: That thing will keep huntin’ us down, even to the ends of the earth. Just to kill us.

-----------------------------:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･------------------------------

Cain: Faust, thanks for coming. I’m real sorry to bother you like this.

Faust: It’s fine, really.

A short while after. We had moved from the abandoned town to a meadow far away from any civilization.

Arthur had sent a letter to the Manor to beg for Faust’s help in the matter, and he had arrived here as well.

According to Bradley, the two of them could only use weak magic now, about what it took to fly a broom.

Any more than that, and that “Wandering Lament” would immediately be able to sense them.

Faust: Anyway, you were saying you were cursed by this wandering spirit..? 

Bradley: This shit’s your specialty, right? Can ya fix it? 

Faust: I have all the necessary components to try, but the curse is powerful. I can’t say yes with any sort of certainty.

Akira: Um, this “Wandering Lament”.....what sort of spirit is it? The fact that it would hunt you down to the ends of the earth…..

Faust: The remnants of a deceased person that manifests from a powerful grief or some sort of lingering attachment. At this point, I wouldn’t even call it a ghost anymore; it’s just a shadow of their former self; one that’s forgotten everything. Their name, why it is they were grieving, until the only thing it has left is hatred. 

Faust: If you make eye contact with it, it forges a connection between you; and it will indiscriminately hunt down anyone who does so.

However, it didn’t seem like they’d be able to turn the tables on the demonic spirit and defeat it to end the curse.

Once a soul came into contact with this "Wandering Lament", it became akin to a water bottle that held a poisonous stone. Even if you took the stone out, the water wouldn’t become drinkable again.

And a soul that’s eaten away at by this deep resentment the spirit held would start drawing misfortune and calamity onto themselves. And before long, amidst all that ruin, they too would die, grieving and anguished.

[shatterthefragments]

okay is it hot as balls where you live right now, or did you manage to dodge the heat wave???? because I'm borderline dying over here

rest in fucking pieces western canada, smh

It is indeed hot as balls (but (and I’m going to sound exactly like people saying “back in the blizzard of x”) not as overwhelmingly hot as the heat dome of ‘21.)

*hugs you with ice blankets!!!!!!!!* I hope it passes soon for you and it’s tolerable soon!! 🫂🧊

RIFP western Canada indeed 🪦

Honestly I am SO PRIVILEGED bc my workplace is kept pretty cool (it’s a grocery store) (I am 🤏 this close to demanding a fight to the death to the next customer who says it’s nice out (to be fair at 7am it is still nice)) and I have a nice setup to keep cool on my break outside/in the car (it’s nearly a shade box and I have ice packs and a mini fan) even if I still get very warm doing my job. (I am taking it slowly so that I hopefully don’t overdo it)

And I drive. And I can usually get going quick enough that the wind from the open windows isn’t too bad. (I try to park where there’s going to be shade over the car when I get off) and bc mum and I aren’t good in the heat we have many fans already so we have several fans going and with the furnace “cool air fan” as well. the house isn’t that bad either with all the fans going (not about to do more than absolutely necessary or bake anything though)

Like. Tbh. At 6-8 degrees cooler. I felt way hotter last week when I got my new tattoo bc I was walking around in high humidity SWEATING SO MUCH and it couldn’t evaporate until I got a long time to sit under strong cool air. Bc I wasn’t just inside all the time like im making a concerted effort to stay inside right now.

But uh. After the heat dome of ‘21. Definitely got Even More fans. (Some rechargeable portable ones) More cooling bandanas. More ice packs.

Despite the horrors, that is still an adorable picture of you 😁 🥰 May the shade cloak you in coolness soon!!

It’s me!! (With enough fans and access to the concrete floored basement that I can lay on as needed - or sleep on if desperate so far it’s tolerable indoors at least :) …I say as if I haven’t had at least a bit of a headache most days DESPITE holding up at least two of the food/water/sleep triangle of helping to prevent but the Tylenol and Advil are mostly keeping it from getting too bad so far. ) but uh. I’m managing alright as long as I can mostly stay inside I think

(I uh. Totally answered the door in a mesh bra and just the shorts. Oops 🤷🏻‍♂️) it’s. Just about 30 which. Is awful and horrible and Should Not Be. (I remember when 25 was a BIG DEAL bc it wasn’t normal) but at least it hasn’t crossed above 30 yet. And it shouldn’t based on my shitty weather apps’ latest forecast update? We’ll see but I am HOPEFUL!!

Im. Physically. Physically I’m doing better than expected to be honest. But I’ve feared the heat of the summer for a while and EVEN MORE bc of how I had to try to hold it together during the heat dome and how I really couldn’t but had to help mum survive it. I’m mentally not doing great because I am so stressed out and kinda panicking (even though mentally I’m not even panicking im jsut resigned) over it even though I know I’m as prepared as I can reasonably be and I have lots of stuff to help keep cool.

My sister (THE FUCKER) is enjoying it and is actively going outside to lay in the sun 😭 (she wears sunscreen at least)

Uhhhh venty TW for uh. A whole bunch of shit/anything you can think of probably tbh. (Stress, panic, suicide, disordered eating, weight are the big things) Under the cut 😬 (but seriously as long as I survive the heat (and hopefully don’t catch Covid again even though I have to sometimes drink a little bit at work and probably won’t wear a mask (as I do in all indoor spaces) on my ship when I sail tbh) I’ll be okay :))

Like the stress and panic is. Like I don’t mentally feel like I’m panicking. But my body certainly feels like it. It’s awful and horrible and I can’t wait for fall to come. Or the cold wind on the sailboat. Or at least just. Low 20s as the high again.

BC despite what everything in me is saying. I WILL fucking survive this. The alternative doesn’t let me talk to my friends and make silly doodles.

But it’s been a while since I’ve felt so like. Suicidal. but strangely so disconnected from it. (Don’t worry I’ll survive The Thoughts,they’re just an old friend at this point that comes back every once in a while like “STILL? 🙄” even though for the most part I actually like. Want to live and am the happiest I’ve been in my life.

But more than that (bc that’s tolerable and I’m the Most Familiar with that) it’s the fucking. I’m having trouble eating bc of the stress and heat. (I was able to eat my after work dinner though which is good bc I have a board meeting soon)

And with certain people being harder on my food choices than normal I’m just “just lose weight. 50 pounds and nobody could say shit” is PREVALENT and echoing but. I don’t really have the energy to devote to that. And while it may be important to build my strength back up to Portaging again (bc I want to do more paddling) but the thing is there are only two valid reasons right now for me to seek to lose weight (my doctor (who to be fair I rarely see but at least once a year lately for various complaints) hasn’t said anything)

One reason is bc I’d probably fare better in the heat if I were smaller. (The other is maybe I wouldn’t wear out the thighs of my pants so quickly).

But the only two times I tend to ALLEGEDLY lose weight are if I’m stress free walking around on vacation for a While or if I’m basically relapsed into an eating disorder, not otherwise specified. (Nobody knew nobody figured it out but I live i got through it I’m fucking amazing bc I live. And I give myself the fuel to keep going bc fuck it never really worked bc I needed nobody to know so badly that I still needed to eat a bit but even still now even knowing how much harm it could’ve done I’m still fucking proud of the fact that I’ve gone 48 hours without eating anything at all. And I hate that I am. (Or after sailing and then getting covid I did end up losing at least 10, but I don’t keep very good track of my weight generally for my own sanity and wellness)

But unfortunately I don’t have the kind of money to quit my job or reduce hours to part time and just walk everywhere without regard to time.

So I’m at a bit of an impasse.

Im. Mostly okay with my body. It hurts a lot. But generally speaking I can do everything I want or need it to do if I haven’t reached my limit that day.

Im striving for body neutrality and positivity on better days.

Like fuck. Someone else I’d find cute with my body. But because it’s *me*

But it’s fine.

I’ll survive. I’ll read some stuff to cathart.

Hopefully I’ll get some time once it cools down to SHAKE MY ASS to some of the cool new music that I’ve been sent bc tbh I think honestly it would help a LOT. (Finding the joy in movement to letting the music take over FUCK YEAH)

I’ll be okay. It just kinda sucks and the heat just. Seeps in and makes everything worse. Like I’m cooking in all my own insecurities and issues and throwing it on the fire just. Does not help. But I’ll be okay. (I always end up okay)

The scariest part is that I’m not even on any medication that increases heat intolerance. (I probably should be but. Alas)

I’ll be ok.

[faeseekerandy]

song 7 for a character of your choosing lol :)

I'm trying to be normal, but trauma is immortal and none of this is your fault (Frankenstein)

Rathaway X Rachel Roth – Rathaway doesn’t know she’s a titan and she’s scouting him to join the Titans. Rathaway has all the issues.

BB woke up unable to understand what was compelling him to want to be a rat. His entire body grew hair and he slowly grew smaller and smaller until is was a tiny mouse. Then like chasing cheese he walked out in the middle of the night without telling anyone. Come breakfast the fact that he was not first at the table caused great concern for everyone involved. Luckly for him BB was tagged and was easy to find.

Central CITY! – Grayson was concerned – Why did he go to central city in the middle of the night! Raven you wanna take this one? – Asked Damien – the kid follows you around like a lost puppy, so go fetch our pet so….

The look on Raven’s face and the extra set of eyes was all the cue Damien needed to drop the subject. He’s not sure how well he can stack up against Trigon and wasn’t in the mood to find out.

Rachel opened a portal directly to the cosmic location were BB was, he saw him, as a rat surrounded by an army of rats, one tiny green spec in a sea of filthy disgusting rats. He picked bb by the tail and attempted to snap him out of it. When even putting him on her chest did not work, it became obvious that his hypnosis was far more powerful than she could have imagined. She faded into the wall and watched carefully to figure out what was causing this extreme form of hypnosis that was not broken by anything magical or physical.

A few hours later a small stubby mass of complexes and issues walked in. Rachel instantly sensed the inner turmoil in this poor souls’ mind. All the issues! Abandonment issues, fear for his situation, not having a home and being forced to forage in the sewers, fear of extreme betrayal, all emotions she could sense coming from this cloud of frustration and angs.

What’s that you’re saying? – said Rathaway, said while talking to one of his rats – That this room smells like a Depeche Mode concert? Why yes it is very weird, did an army of Goth angsty teenagers waltzed by while I was away?

COME OUT, you can hide your visage but not your smell of cheap eyeliner and Sucreabeille perfume. Let me guess, demon girl, or daughter of Satan, or something devil related. – Rathaway look annoyed.

FINE GEESH – Raven came out of the shadow – one of those rats is mine, and I need it back.

Really? Wish one- asked Rathaway not taken aback by the figure emerging from the wall.

Raven - Takea guess !

Rathaway – Yea not a lot of green demon rats are there. Rathaway was almost amused but playing it cool. He was trying to figure out at what moment to send the army of rats at him.

I rolled a 20 on my mind reading abilities, you’re an open book to me, and if you don’t wanna see a million rats go up in flame I suggest you keep your filthy pets to yourself – Said Raven

Oh a Geek a devil girl, I suppose rolling seduction is out of the question. – Said Rathaway.

Not if you want me to kick your dices! – Raven was kinda annoyed at this point.

FINE your intimidation roll worked, here is your freeky green rat. – said rathaway releasing his spell.

How do I know he’s not gonna be hypnotized again – asked Raven annoyed.

You don’t! I may want to see you again and then all I’ve got to do is play this fl…. – he was interrupted when raven took over the flute with her magic and prepared to destroy it.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO – he lunged at the flute crying in a panic. It was pathetic. He fled to a dark corner of the room,crying and trying to claw at the wall to find a place to hide it.

That flute, its precious to you isn’t it – you don’t really need it to fight me but you cling to it. Said raven

Would you stop reading my FUCKING MIND ALREADY! – at one point you have to realize it feels like being naked in front of a million people.

You took my precious pet, this creature is my price possession, and I refuse to go easy on you until I know without a shadow of a dought that it belongs to me and me alone. I play with it,and tease it as I see fit. I wont let some snut punk wanna be villain with issues take him from me. MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Rathaway trembling made an alteration to the Anti life equation that made it so it could not be used specifically on BB.

Alright since you kept your end of the bargain I’ll stop probing your mind. – Said raven – I don’t normally do that. But you took my precious pet so I was not gonna play fair. I was ready to send you to hell if needed.

Bhhhhh the devil girl is gonna send me to hell, spooky, could you be any more of a cliché – rathaway was annoyed. Do you know what you put me thru just now! If you had me by the balls I would not have been more horrified. That flute…

It’s a toten of trauma, interrupted Raven, you need to let it go, forgot it and begin to heal. It will be difficult but if you come with me, with the titans, you can slowly come to live a normal life, with friends that wont abandon you.

Yea Sure, you’re sooo normal demon girl – rathaway was more relaxed now that he sensed no hostility from Rachel.

I'm trying to be normal, but trauma is immortal. And ever-present. Sometimes you can be safely at a home and see something on tv and suddenly it comes back like a monster, a predator. And you try to act normal so nobody sees your suffering, but the sweat and the palpitations, and your inability to stand up, the betray you, so you say you’re going to take a bath so nobody sees you tremble.

And sometimes you can be under a bridge feeling like the world is collapsing over you, and you feel thankful because its not the worst that’s ever happened to you. You think, compared to where I’ve been, being homeless doesn’t feel so bad, and then you realize that….

Raven hugged Rathaway, and then he was quiet, she kept repeating over and over – “none of this was your fault, none of this was your fault.”

I missed being hugged so much – Rathaway was smiling, - Ok lets get going.

Dude I had the weirdt dream  - the rat changed form into a human, rathaway look puzzled

IT WAS A DREAM!  - screamed Raven, her pale skin showing a slight hint of blush under all the eye liner and pale face paint.  – IT WAS A DREAM AND DONT FUCKING GET ANY IDEAS

       BB turning into a tiny puppy begin whimpering.

[freddie-mercury-rising]

Day 26: Now I’m Here from Sheer Heart Attack

Now we’re onto the B side of Sheer Heart Attack. So, picture it’s the mid-1970s and you’re turning your vinyl over, placing the needle down and waiting for that crackly sound to start, followed by the notes of your favorite band. Life is good! 

Listening now, you can appreciate the stereo effects of this song, as Freddie sings delicately in your left ear: “Now I’m here,” and then your right: “Now I’m here.” This is such a pumped up song. Really, it has all the elements of a pure banger. No wonder they used this to start so many of their sets thereafter. And no wonder it was performed live at virtually every concert for the next decade. 

They made use of the stereo element even on stage, confusing the audience as to where Freddie was actually standing while singing “Now I’m here” into the darkness, before the whole stage lit up. From Wikipedia: On the Sheer Heart Attack Tour, Mercury would be seen singing the line "Now I'm here" on one side of the stage amidst the darkness and dry ice, and a few bars later, at "Now I'm there," he would "appear" on the other side of the stage, an illusion created by an identically-dressed stagehand. (Imagine being the sound guy being asked to wear a replica of one of his skin tight leotards and act as his body double. Some people have all the luck!)

This song builds up, and what a great way to start the second half of the album. 

“I’m just a…” (Cue the drums) “Just a new man….yes you made me live again!” 

Shit, I can’t count the times I’ve just belted that intro and then rocked out to the music that follows. 

I dig the way the song is written in the second-person (by none other than our boy B. May), speaking to some unknown person. It was written while Brian was hospitalized and supposedly recalls Queen’s humble beginnings supporting Mott the Hoople (hence the “down in the city just Hoople and me”). I love how Brian’s songwriting modes are: soft, folksy romance and angst OR hard, sexual, no-fucks-given rock and roll. 

So many rumors surround this song! Especially the allusion to “Down in the dungeon just Peaches and me”. Now, this is all speculation (or maybe not, don’t kill me) but supposedly The Dungeon was a bar in the French Quarter of New Orleans and Peaches was a gal that Brian met there and had a thing for (or a thing with). According to some Internet sources, that woman’s real name is Deborah Vidacovich. Anyway, that’s neither here nor there, but it’s very interesting nonetheless. 

I love the “Yeah!” right before the second verse. 

“Your matches still light up the sky…and many a tear lives on in my eyeee” (love how Freddie does his voice. This is such a reminiscing song. I feel like this is them just jaw-jacking about their early days in rock and finding themselves as a band. 

It’s great that it goes back to that “now I’m here” echoing before they rock out just one more time to finish the song out. 

OH, OH, OH, one of my favorite bits to this song is “Go, go, go little queenie!” Supposedly, it’s a nod to Chuck Berry. Anyway, I swear that’s such an iconic little addition to the end of a fabulous song. 

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (832): Thu 27th Jun 2024

This morning when I went downstairs to let Lucy out for a piss I saw across the road that there were two chavs moving a sofa from one house to another part by part. I think there was a body cut up with a piece put into each part which to be honest I was really proud of myself for coming up with because it would make a great murder plot. I’m pretty sure that over the last twelve years of writing absolutely bollocks for this blog I’ve written about a man dying while hiding inside a sofa and then the sofa being sold to an old man who has no idea there’s a skeleton in there and lives with it for many years. It’s concerning to me that I’ve clearly run out of shite to write about so I’ve just started stealing from myself in the past. I decided to book a one week holiday for the end of July. I’m not going to go anywhere I’ll just chill for a week (hopefully in the sunshine). I can’t remember if I’ve taken any holidays since my week in Gran Canaria in January. I think I may have taken a few days off sick but I’m genuinely too lazy to check the archives of this cunting blog to verify this. I also booked an appointment at the doctors for the day I get back from London from the AC/DC concert. Ever since my operation to remove a herniated disc three years ago there has still been lingering discomfort which has now progressed into full on pain despite the endless physio and visits to the chiropractor so I suspect that I might have another problem with one or more of my discs. There’s definitely something not right in either my spine or my shoulder and most days it feels like there’s something stuck under my left shoulder blade. It’s starting to make my foot drop and I’m getting tingles through my arm again like I did the first time. Reluctantly I’m going to have to ask to be referred to the useless MSK cunts who kept sending me away with ineffective stretches for over a year before I finally had to pay for an MRI which confirmed I had a herniated disc. Im going to tell them straight away if they’re not going to send me for an MRI then I’ll pay for it myself somehow because I’m not wasting another year on stupid stretches. This fucking neck of mine has kept me away from jiu jitsu for over five years now and I’m sick of it, it’s time to get it sorted out once and for all.

[vivus09]

Since 2023, I have been keeping something know as my Chaos Calender. Everytime an event I deem noteworthy happens, I add it to the calender. I feel like now it a good time to share it.

{2023}

January

-Beyoncé Dubai concert video

-Doja Cat bedazzled with Schiaparelli

-Noah Schnapp came out

February

-Chinese spy balloon burst

March

-Eras tour

-TikTok ban panic

-Trump crime thingy

April

-AI started popping up

May

-Prince Charles crowned

June

-🎶Toxic Gossip Train🎶

August

-The Battle Of Montgomery (Dinner cruise Vs. Pontoon)

- new shape discovered

- Zepotha chaos

- The Joe Hawley document

- Hawaii wildfires

- Ancient underworld passage in Mexico

- Telescopes are time machines

- Trump got arrested

- LIL TAY IS DEAD!?

September

-TIMOTHEE AND KYLIE!?

-Danelo Cavalcante is caught.

-Libya is under water

-Brooklyn is under water

October

-LIL TAY ISN'T DEAD!?

-Israel starts a genocide

-The great Minecraft revolution

-jacksfilm and ssniperwolf drama

November

-New island pops up in Japan.

-Nicholas Cantu punches Dream

December

-Gypsy Rose Blanchard released from jail.

{2024}

January

-Man sneaks into and videos the Bohemian Grove

-Japan earthquakes

-Epstein list

-A LOT of bodies found behind a police station

-guy attacks judge

-Matpat is quitting

-Stanley cup craze

-Why are babies at Sephora

-YanDev apology video

-Golden Globes laugh track

-ThatVeganTeacher starts a cult

-LUBERTO IS CANON

-RIP Lynja :(

-Verbalase 50k vid

-Stallion V. Minaj

February

-The great TikTok muting

-LAUFEY WINS BEST TRADITIONAL POP VOCAL ALBUM GRAMMY AWARD 2024 FUCK YEAH!!!🔥 🔥 🔥

-MOANA 2 IS APPARENTLY A THING AND COMING OUT THIS YEAR!? LET'S FUCKING GOOOO!

- Stanley Cups have lead in them.

- OpenAi Sora

- Wendy Williams has Frontotemporal Dementia :(

- Rest In Power Aaron Bushnell.

- The downfall of Wilbur Soot (fuck that asshole for abusing Shubble).

March

-JANICE BURGESS IS DEAD WHAT THE FUCK.

- The government is trying to ban TikTok (Again).

- MatPat's final theory

- Quiet On Set documentary

April

-JoJo Siwa drama (Brit Smith 🔛🔝)

-EKT HAS BEEN FOUND

-Man or bear? (Bear)

May

-NYC blanket couple

-Drake V. Kendrick

-Blockout 2024

-JUSTICE FOR JOOST KLEIN

-The northern white rhino has gone extinct.

June

-TRUMP WAS FOUND GUILTY ON 34 COUNTS!

-Chappel Roan as the statue of liberty (yes this is important).

-French people shitting in the Seine.

-Oklahoma board of education mandates a bible in every classroom (It is so much worse than this but I am so fucking tired).

-Chevron Deference has been oveturned.

[tafadhali]

Spotify Unwrapped may capture which songs I literally listened to the most this year, but my annual Most Listened playlist captures more the ~*~vibe~*~. It's the songs I discovered or rediscovered this year that I just kept coming back to — here's my abridged version of that list:

Linda Ronstadt // AJJ (2014) — my 2020 version of this list was all actual Linda Ronstadt songs, so this song about emotional catharsis via her music really resonated, lol

I Need to Be in Love // Carpenters (1976) — listened to the You're Wrong About episodes on Karen Carpenter and fell into a spiral (I'm never far from a Carpenters spiral)

Better Sit Down Boy // Confidence Man (2018) — the lead character in Everything's Gonna Be Okay did a little routine to this song and I got obsessed ("oh, you speak French? oh man, that's deep")

A Girl Like You // Edwyn Collins (1994) — I must have heard this song before but I feel like it appeared out of nowhere (i.e. Spotify algorithm) to earworm me

King // Florence + The Machine (2022) — Dance Fever got a lot of play when I was brainstorming Yellowjackets vid ideas; I ended up vidding "Cassandra" but listening to this track on loop

Champagne Shit // Janelle Monáe (2023) — this one was far from making a literal most played list, but I saw Monáe in concert in September and this was the Age of Pleasure song that really grabbed me

Don't Eat the Acid // Kesha (2023) — I've been very much on the Kesha train the last few years. I really do get into her hater songs, so "Hate Me Harder" from Gag Order was also on this playlist, but I loved the more offbeat sound and subject of this song

The Swimming Pool Song // Laura Jane Grace (2020) — fuck me up, Laura Jane Grace. "I am a haunted swimming pool, I am emptied out and drained / My capacity remains unchanged" is the line that bodied me hardest the first time I heard it

About Damn Time // Lizzo (2023) — naturally

Romeo Had Juliette // Lou Reed (1989) — there's always some Lou Reed song on rotation

Training Montage // The Mountain Goats (2022) — I'm vidding this song but it's also just a banger

Not in Kansas // The National (2019) — feel like some ~themes~ are emerging in these songs, but whatever! It is possible too that melancholy season 3 Ted Lasso feelings made this stick?

Honey and Smoke // K.D. Lang, Laura Veirs, Neko Case (2016) — it's just a great song and kd lang rules!

SugarMan // Regina Spektor (2022) — there is nearly always a Regina Spektor song on my Most Listened; this year there were three (but I chose the newest), helped by my seeing her in concert for the first time in August

Last Thing I Needed the First Thing This Morning // Willie Nelson (1982) — you know when you loved a song at one point and then totally forgot it existed? Mom put Willie Nelson on when we were driving through New Mexico and I was reminded that this song is a thing and that I am total trash for depressing crumbling marriage story songs

[summerlycoris]

So no one really needs my relatively uniformed and definitely not an expert take on Israel and Palestine. But I want to be clear on things.

Both sides do some fucked up shit that makes it really hard to want to support either of them.

Israel bombs civilians and has killed many more palestinian people than the reverse. Israeli people rush in to occupy new territory once people have been driven out by bombing. Civilians in Israel sit down to watch the rockets explode over Gaza. (Sorry, but that's sociopath behavior.) I'd love Jewish people to have a place where they don't have to be scared of pogroms or exile anymore. But this isn't the way to get that- honestly we should have just divided up Germany and given a chunk of that to Jewish people for their own nation. But hindsight is 20/20, and even that may have ended badly.

Palestinians have taken hostages from a concert, and have videos of them parading a woman's dead, naked body around in a Ute. All while screaming about how great God is. So anyone saying "it's just soldiers who were killed" is lying through their teeth. I'd like the palenstinian people to be free. But I feel really fucking ick about supporting rapists, and people who, if they had the power, would behead people like me. Feels like setting myself up for my own slaughter, you know?

Both sides have support of some real fucking bastards. Netanyahu or Hamas- both are fucking pigs. Both sides are far right and religious extremists.

But both sides also have people who just want to fucking live. Who don't want to deal with this shit. Who don't deserve to deal with this shit.

So it's complicated. And I don't have a clear side because there isn't one.

[berryunho]

helo it is i san anon and i am here to tell u abt the concert !!

we had seated tickets so went a bit late (still like an hour before the show started 🫣 um) AND I WAS RESPONSIBLE by not buying any merch bc i bought a lot at the popup store hehe

anyway so the atinys behind us were rly nice n started talking to us AND THEN ONE OF THEM GAD ALREADY SEEN THE SOUNDCHE K PICS OF MINGI AND I WAS LIKE WAIT WHAT?? HE DID WHAT??? I FEEL SO BAD bc so many ppl like it but i… i can’t.. i just.. idk… maybe i have to get used to it but it’s not for me 😭 i loved the mango hair </3 where is the length on this one </3 pls </3 i also didn’t love hongjoong’s hair on pics previously but irl?? that was styled to perfection he looked so fucking fine oml cult meeting when?? lead the way sir /hj

anyway so i’d been MaNiFeStInG san’s long dark hair bc last year i saw him w the guerilla hair and i didn’t love that tone either (i miss her now ngl but the dark hair outdoes (hongruella back then oml drooling)) and then the airport pics w his long hair 😮‍💨 drooled a lil /hj ANYWAY SO HEEEEE LOOKED FINE AS FUCK and THE cyberpunk outfit oml he wore everything i wanted him to !!! ig he loves me bc i’ve been manifesting oreo woo for a year now and where is it. where. jung wooyoung. we need to have a talk.

AND the tinys behind me asked who my bias was and i was like uhhh bc i’m actually?? wooyo bias?? or supposed to be?? but san n joong are also in my bias line and recently it’s been a bit of a problem.. am completely normal about san.. as some may know.. so normal.. haha anyway I SAID I AM IN BETWEEN BIASES BUT!!! I DON’T THINK THAT IS THE CASE ANYMORE choi san has me in a terrible chokehold that i will never be able to escape from (and i got a san freebie hehe <3 cute) but literally when i said “ok i’m san biased now” they performed i’m the one heat topping ver AND WOOYOUNG??? IDK IF ANYONES SEEN VIDEOS BUT HE?? HIS BODY ROLL? I ??? that felt so personal ANYWAY I EXPLAINED IT TO MY MOM (she loves woo since i never shut up abt him.. i thought she liked hwa smh traitor) LIKE LISTEN. WOOYOUNG WAS AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS. AND SANJOONG AT THE SECOND STEP. BUT SAN DIDNT LIKE IT THERE. SO HE TOOK A STEP UP TO STAND WITH WOO. but since san is a bit taller.. that automatically makes him rank a bit higher. bc his height quite literally puts him higher than wooyoung. i don’t make the rules.. woo should’ve grown more. LMAO

anyway so that!! is it!! they were so fucking good as ALWAYS (tho i liked last tour’s setlist a bit more.. but we got mist this time so i happy also i am THE biggest new world stan choi san the man that u are today and choi jongho the talent that u have) the vocals were on point the performance was perfect the outfits were so gorg mingi’s hair wasn’t it for me we had a lot of fun the tinys behind me barked yeosang’s hair was SOOOO LONG yeah anyway IT WAS GREAT and why tf are the spaces between paragraphs on my phone so fucked like this looks so ugly i’m sorry if this is an ugly piece of text in ur asks but !!! whatever 😍 pls do look up that wooyoung video… idk if anyone posted it but.. i’m drooling /hj oh and i cheered very loud for yunho!!!

HI ALKJDF;ALSKDJF

screaming the amount of detail here i love it its like we're penpals omg but YAAAAAYYYYYY IM GLAD YOU HAD FUN !!!!

pls when they were in the us... i preordered all of my merch through one of the popups but um ..... yeah i still bought more merch at every show i went to it was so bad i think i collected nearly every shirt/sweatshirt possible idk i blacked out SO PROPS TO YOU FOR STAYING STRONG !!!!

AKDJFSFJSLDJK THE PINK HAIR ....... i dont dislike it but its not my fave on him lol i think maybe after a few washes when its less ... neon itll be better LKJALKSDFJALDKJF BUT THATS FAIR AND yeah hj .... mmmmmmmmmmmm he is scrumptious always and IN PERSON ..... HHGHGHGKSGLKJ im normal about him. i always am... AND SAN !!!!!!! SJKLDFJASDF im sure we'll get oreo woo back one day .... i hope .... it was too iconic to be gone forever

PLEASE THAT EXPLANATION IM SCLKJRELAKJSJF IT MAKES SENSE THOUGH !!!! my best friend was a jongho bias .... until we saw them and somewhere between the start and the finish wooyoung SNATCHED HER SO AGGRESSIVELY HES ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT NOW PLEASLKEJLSESKJALKJFDS AND ........ im loyal im SO loyal like id never ever consider a double bias idk what anyone is even talking about (................................/s) BUT FR CHOI SAN? IN PERSON? BEFORE YOUR EYES? LIKE ANYONE WOULD BE TEMPTED THATS ALL I CAN SAY SO YOU'RE VALID SAN ANON SO VALID !

BUT YAYYY AGAIN IM SO GLAD YOU HAD FUN !!! living vicariously through this ask rn AKJDFLSKJFALSKJF omg idk which setlist i prefer honestly .... bc last tour i was sad about exactly 4 songs not being on the setlist and they all of them were added this tour ... but at the expense of my favorite title track ................ and also inception ..... so like .......... yeah idk LKAJLFDKJDSF BUT YAAYAYYY TY FOR SCREAMING FOR YUNHO AND TY FOR SHARING W ME I HOPE YOU'RE WELL !!! <3333

[ninacarstairss]

no way 😭😭😭 that’s very nerophobic!!! but english breakfast out of your spidey mug before rewatching tasm sounds like a perfect plan

of course i do!! your stories always make my days and i feel like i’ve just been in sydney and danced to stray kids live with you!!! and i’m so happy it goes both ways <3

noooo and you missed that??? 😭😭 i wanna move to sydney now and be in a city full of rainbows and drag queens that make me feel at home 🥺

single seats?? that’s genius!!! i would always sit there. when i was still going to uni i always took the train, put my headphones on and sleep, only to be woken up like 20 minutes later by a screaming kid going to school and usually also hitting me in the head with its backpack as they sat down 😭

that’s great!! i’m very much like you about this, i always rot on the couch for hours after i get off from work. i just have to. (yeah okay maybe you’re right)

i’m sure your body needed it so much, it was a tiring day and the heatstroke definitely helped make you feel even more tired. (and i’m glad it helped a little. birthdays can suck, but i was hoping to make you smile a bit with a rainbow biscoff cake and i’m glad it did <3)

so true 😭😭😭 also picture me going to search “rina sawayama merch” because i was way too curious and it’s gorgeous!!! that fuck what they did to britney, lady di and whitney top is iconic!!! and honestly i could listen to you talk about rina for hours and days. i am the same when i’m walking around in louis tomlinson merch :D and don’t even get me started on when people compliment and recognise my tattoos!!! i love it when people see my tatts and recognise the book quotes or the song it was from. then they regret ever speaking to me because yeah i will keep them talking for hours hehe

great, blind tasting it is 😂 i’m curious now, i want to know if you ever find this recipe 😂 of course i would ;)

yess!!! you can always have a rare books bookstore and it definitely needs to be visited all the time. next time you get to sydney you should bring a suitcase just to fill it books from that bookstore :)) and it’s so true, bookstores always tell a lot about cities, i feel like i’m always walking through the history of the city when i’m in a bookstore. also uni books piling on the floor is a much less fun image than amazing rare books on the floor :’)

no way the 1975??? that concert is going to be so awesome 😻😻😻 and another one in may would be so awesome too hehe you know our bank accounts are meant to hate us for all these concerts but they make us happy 🥺

uhh i’m so here for a signed copy hehe

that’s amazing!!! that’s exactly what concert videos are for!!!

aw i love that you’re always my n.1 supporter in spending a lot of money :)

animals are just <333333

all these songs live must have been perfect!!! and yes of course i’d love to have a list of your favs!! i’d love to have like the perfect playlist!!! and cardigan my beloved 😭 that song breaks me all the time, also exile and this is me trying. god those songs are so good, i love them. and i bet those notes are amazing 😂

aww a teddy bear!!! i’m hugging you right back and giving you a warm blanket and fuzzy pillow <33333

hello cece my beautiful wonderful beloved soulmate <3

i hope you have been well and looking after yourself! i don’t want you overworking yourself 😭 but it has been two days since i have come back from my trip (i have been exhausted plus i had work and uni to catch up on) so now i am going to sit down and tell you about my trip!! please grab a cup of tea and a snack while you read :)

so i went to sydney again, and i had a much more enjoyable experience this time around. i think it was because i knew what i was getting into, and i stayed in the exact same place, so it was all familiar to me.

although i did try to use the public transport this time, instead of ubering everywhere, and the buses were so bad, but the trains were INCREDIBLE! they were double decker and the back support moved so you could have a single row or two rows of seats face each other??? SO COOL

anyways, me and my friend caught the train to the airport at 4am in the morning 😭😭😭 (and i finished work at 12am!!!!) to get our flight. once we landed in sydney, my friend wanted to get merch from the early presale stand outside the arena and we were outside in 30 degree heat FOR TWO HOURS, with our luggage. good news, my birthday is coming up and my friend didn’t know what to get me, so he bought half my merch 🤭 bad news, i’m ginger and i get sunburnt in two minutes, so think about two hours… the worst thing is we had an umbrella for sun protection, but my right arm and the back of my neck was out so they were FRIED. i’m currently peeling like a reptile but worth it

we got some food from maccas because we were dehydrated and getting heat stroke, and then checked into our room after we managed to get our stuff. we both ended up napping in the afternoon, which we were both surprised about, because i had my phone in my hand still attached to the charger next to my bed and he still had his genshin impact loaded up onto his ipad 😭😭😭

unfortunately the place i wanted to take him to for dinner, the really good japanese place from last time, was under renovation, so we had dinner elsewhere but we had such a good time the rest of our trip

because we went to see stray kids, a kpop group, we had a lot of activities we could indulge in. they had this thing called a cupsleeve event, where someone in the fandom designs a cupsleeve to represent a kpop idol’s birthday, group anniversary or in our case, coming to the city. and i got so many freebies! we went to this kpop store that doubled as a cafe and the drinks were so good! i bought way too much but i have to remind myself that i can’t get it at home 😔

we also went to the biggest bookstore i have ever seen in my life! it took up a whole floor of the shopping centre and it was brilliant. it had books upon books, categories after categories. they even had an entire chinese and japanese section! i also spent a lot of money there BUT my best find was the entire completed infernal devices manga trilogy!! it’s so beautiful and such a rare find, i grabbed it immediately. i couldn’t find the tmi graphic novels though, but they have them on their website, so i might order them in :)

alright, the main event! the concerts! so i went and saw the kpop group, stray kids, two nights in a row! it was amazing. i was and still am a huge fan of their work, but especially because they got me through a really hard time in my life and really were my serotonin while i was at school 😔 i wasn’t allowed to see them when they first came here four years ago (parents: maybe next year, they’ll come! *next year being 2020.*) so i feel like i finally made up for it.

me and my friend also matches outfits! we did black and green (the concert colours) on the first night, and red and white on the second (to match the stray kids colours). i wish i could send you photos, we looked so slay 🤩

i do not have one concert video without me screaming the lyrics (yeah the korean ones too!) in the back. but i don’t care, it was so fun, i had a blast. and it was even better because two of the members of stray kids were from sydney and they just made it feel more homely :) do not regret how much money i spent on them or the sleep i lost at all! i’m so glad i can slowly start to give myself the experiences i missed out on as a kid/teenager :’)

anyways, enough about me! how have you been? what have you been up to? how is simba? 🥺 i adore you so much and i am enclosing this letter with a warm hug <3333

hello nero my amazing perfect beloved soulmate <3

yay i’m so happy to finally hear about this trip!!! i just made myself a cup of tea and brought out some biscoff cream!!

how was the catching up part?? did you manage to catch up without exhausting yourself too much??

nero that’s so great!! i think that having a familiar surrounding is always helpful, and staying in the same place makes it all less scary somehow. i’m really happy it went much better!!

NO WAY THEY HAVE THOSE TRAINS THERE??? they look so cool!!! i’ve seen them on instagram once and i was so jealous of every city who had those trains!! you can literally choose if you want to sit alone or have company and that’s so cool!!! it’s basically a buildable environment!!! i’m getting way too excited about this lol

so you only had like three hours of sleep?? 😭😭😭😭 and you even had to stand in the heat for hours 😭😭😭 but yay!!! merch!!! that’s a really great birthday gift!!! (also when is your birthday??? only if you want to share of course <3)

anyway merch is so amazing and so expensive. this has got to be one of the best presents ever!!! even if it means you’re skinning like a reptile now lol at least it’s just two small spots instead of your whole self 😂 but i get the struggle. i’m not ginger but my skin is so light i always get sunburnt in 0.5 seconds too. definitely not fun, but worth it for some merch :D

that was probably a really fun situation to wake up to, but you both deserved a nap for catching a bus at 4am!!! especially since you had only a few hours of sleep after work!! at least you were rested enough to really enjoy the trip!!

oh no 😭😭 i’m still dreaming about that place!! i went to a my favorite japanese restaurant in my city a few days ago and i really wanted to try that beverage you told me about but i was driving so i couldn’t 😭 i hope this other restaurant was really good too though!!

no way!!! nero this is all way too cool!!! i’m so happy it was so fun and there were so many things to do!!! also this cupsleeves event sounds so cool!! i’m so happy nero, you’re making my day just by telling me about all these freebies and amazing drinks!! and you know i’m always gonna be the little devil on your shoulder telling you that spending money is good and you deserve all that amazing stuff :))

the tid manga trilogy??? how is that even possible omg you can’t find that anywhere!!!! i’m so jealous, i wanna live in this bookstore now 🥺 it’s got to be so amazing!! (you always find the best bookstores, i had no doubt there would be one in this letter too and i was so excited to read about it!!) and let me know if you do order the tmi graphic novels!! i’ve been trying to collect those too hehe

the fact that *next year* was 2020 is so painful. but you saw them two nights in a row!!! that’s amazing!! and it must have been so good to see them after so long, after they’d been by your side in a really tough time 🥹 i’m so happy you got to finally see them live!!

also, the matching outfits?? I LOVE THAT!!! i bet you looked so slay!!! that’s literally the best idea for what to wear to a concert!!!

nero i’m so so happy for you!!! you’ve made my whole day, i’m not even joking!! i’m so happy you’re finally getting to enjoy trips and concerts you couldn’t before!! and this one really sounded so perfect!!! also the videos with you screaming at the top of your lungs to every song are literally the best. i love it when i rewatch a video from a concert and i can hear myself screaming and crying and dying more than i can hear the band or the singer. it just makes me live all those memories and those amazing feelings again!!!

the money spent on this is totally worth it!!! and you can sleep now, uni can wait lol really nero i’m so happy this trip was so good!!! i’m so happy for you!!!

i’m good!! i got three days off from work this week so that was great, and i started to reread chain of iron so that i can reread chain of thorns right after :) i miss them so much already 🥲

anyway i just booked a trip for may, because a friend is coming to visit me and i’m gonna be off work for two weeks so i’m really looking forward to it and now i just wanna skip work and plan the itinerary 😂 and i want to book more trips too. which isn’t great because my bank account is already crying and begging me to stop buying stuff. did i tell you i got the illumicrate edition of chain of thorns with the alternative dust jackets? yeah so my bank account still hasn’t forgiven me for it :,)

simba is also doing really good, he’s eating a lot and sleeping a lot as usual 😌

also, ever since you told me about the rina sawayama concert, and because you always talked so much about her, i kinda started listening to her music a lot more and i’m obsessed with some songs now!!! i adore her style so thank you for this new obsession :>

i’m enclosing a warm hug for you too and a little bouquet of flowers <3

[greta-van-chaos]

Whole Lotta Love

First kiss with Jake headcannon

Warnings | None :)

~

Music is what brought you, the Kiszka’s, and Danny together. From the first time you hung out in Jake, Josh, and Sam’s basement, listening to old records and getting high to now, all grown up and watching the boys as they put together their own music. It’s pillar in your friend group.

Tonight was their first concert since releasing black smoke rising and you were all backstage waiting for them to go on. You may not be a part of the band when it comes to the actual composition and performance of the music but they always insist that you’re apart of greta van fleet.

“I’m so nervous, what if I fuck up?” Jake’s leg is bouncing up and down so fast you get the urge to lay a hand on his knee to soothe him.

“You won’t fuck up Jake, you’re a rockstar!” The smile that breaks across his face at your words makes you blush, he’s always been so goddamn beautiful.

“Thanks y/n. I don’t know what id do if i didn’t have you around.”

After a few more minutes of sitting around the boys finally get called to come to the stage. You follow behind them, making sure you’re there to give them hugs before they go running on to play.

You’re all ushered through a corridor and you and Jake are last, trailing behind Sam.

“You’re gonna be great out there!” You whisper to Jake. He’s looking out from backstage, his slight view of the crowd makes him visibly tremble.

“I hope so.”

All four of them flash you big grins as you wave them off and as soon as their out there and Josh has the mic you know they’re all going to be amazing.

The whole show goes by in a blur as you dance backstage, the music so electric and hot in your blood. Watching Jake play is a spiritual experience and is something you’ve always paid close attention to. The way his fingers glide over the frets, the way he leans back, the way his face mirrors how the music is making him feel, blissed out and on fire.

When the show comes to an end and the boys run off stage Jake swings his guitar off and hands it to Danny. As soon as he catches sight of you he rushes over and loops his arms around your waist, lifting you into the air and spinning you around. You both laugh wildly and you plant your hands on his shoulders to keep steady as he turns.

It all happens so fast but as he lowers you down your eyes lock and he dips down to catch your lips. Sparks fly and your blood sings. Your entire body reacts with a passion youve never yet known, pulling him against you as tightly as you can and not breaking for air.

This feels so natural for the both of you and when you pull away the bashful smiles that adorn both of your lips is a stark contrast to your heated kiss.

He lets go of your hips and rubs the back of his neck sheepishly “Sorry, I got a little carried away there.”

You can only manage a playful scoff before leaning up to kiss him again in response. You can feel his lips tip up into a smile against yours and it’s the most dizzying feeling you’ve ever felt.

“Don’t apologize, I liked it.”

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[p-antomime]

just so fine.

— minors don’t interact

— wc: 4,7K

content + warnings: 18+, including: dilf!toji, manhandle, spitting, daddy kink, choking, unprotected sex, creampie, a bit of school girl!reader maybe, breeding kink, overstimulation, squirting, degradation, age gap, a bit of size kink, thigh riding

pairings: toji fushiguro x fem!reader

— note: this is a bit inspired by: Love Without Tragedy by Rihanna. — jjk masterlist.

Red lipstick and a broken heart trying to be concerted by the petals of your conscience and your friends who said that "he didn't deserve you anyway". And honestly, you didn't know where exactly you were getting the strength from to get out of bed that Monday and go take a shower before heading painfully to your first class in the morning.

He used to be the boy you loved with every cell of your body and soul, he stole the best years of your freshman life at the university, and now you were a senior who had neither the animation nor the patience to welcome the incoming freshmen that year. Despite having Kugisaki and Megumi fervently cheering you on while Itadori was too busy still dealing with the problem of sending documents to the college, your heart was still fatally wounded and your dignity no longer existed as your tears had wiped it off the face of the earth during that morning shower and you couldn't help but be tempted to put on makeup good enough to mask your dark circles under your eyes and downcast face.

"Are you coming today?", Nobara asked excitedly on the other end of the line as you were already leaving the house and taking the long way to college.

— Do I have the option of not going?

"No, of course not.", Nobara replied with a slight laugh that was well intended to cheer you up a bit, "We can have a movie night tonight, to cheer you up."

— At whose house? At mine that won't be, it's a mess. — You grumbled.

"At Megumi's or Itadori's, of course. During lunch I'll buy soda and food with Yuuji and you convince Megumi to let us break into his house today.”

— Why do I have to convince Megumi? You came up with the idea.

"Because I'll be busy, simple. And Fushiguro doesn't take me seriously.", and then you sighed heavily, already noticing that you were less than a block away from entering the college grounds.

— Okay, I see what I can do.

Kugisaki told you that she was waiting for you in the classroom, and you replied that you were already there. And then something distinctive caught your attention. It was strangely easy to spot something different in the landscape of the university entrance because usually it was always the same: university students rushing to settle personal matters or to classes they are late for, or also students who came to see what the college was like before the university application period.

But today was different. There was a tall man fully dressed in black and gray leaning against a motorcycle that looked as if it had been taken from an action movie because it was so well equipped and large. He looked relaxed, and yet he still possessed an aura that could kill you with a single punch. Attractive and devilishly dangerous with that leather jacket highlighting his strong arms and broad shoulders. Forcing your eyes a little, you could notice a scar close to one of the corners of his lips.

— What's the matter, little girl? — His deep voice reaches your ears, but your mind whispers to you that he probably wasn't talking to you at the same time that your heart starts to beat out of control and your head turns from side to side trying to check if there is someone behind you. — Yeah, I'm talking to you. — He smiled sideways.

— Uh... hmm... none, sorry. — Your cheeks started to heat up and you wanted to punch yourself in the stomach because usually a simple man couldn't disconcert you like that, and then your eyes fell on his collarbones, well marked by the black shirt he wore under his jacket, and your mouth suddenly felt too dry.

— What exactly are you apologizing for? — The man asked as he placed one of the helmets on the motorcycle seat, if there were two helmets maybe he brought some college girl? — For eating me with your eyes or staring at me? — And then you choked on your saliva and coughed desperately for air trying not to drop the folders in your hands and he seemed amused by your reaction.

— I-I... — Your fingers squeezed the folders and you had to look away to think straight. — I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I didn't mean to.

— I am not, it's great to be lusted after by younger girls. — He replied, but before he had a chance to continue his onslaught someone approached from the diagonal.

— Dad! — And then you choked again seeing that the one who was referring to the man in front of you as "dad" was Megumi. — Oh, Y/N? — He looked confused looking from you to his own father. — Anyway, they didn't have what you wanted at the pharmacy, next time you'll buy it yourself. — The young Fushiguro spoke to the older man, but seconds later, noticing the mortifying silence that settled over the place as you stared at his father, he spoke up: — And we are almost late already, let’s go, Y/N. — Megumi took one of your arms and started to guide you away from the motorcycle and closer to the interior of the college.

— You never told me you were interested in girls. — His father shouted more to embarrass his son than you, but the effect was the opposite, since you were the one with the burning cheeks.

— Shut up, Toji. — Megumi shouted back as he continued walking. — Did he say shit to you? — He asked you when the two of you were already walking down the halls to your classroom for the first class of the morning.

— Not really, no. He seems... fine. — You tried to talk as if you didn't have dirty thoughts running through your mind especially after remembering the older man's collarbones and scar, and still Megumi gave you an accusing look.

— Don't try to fuck my father, that's disgusting. - Your eyes widened.

— I wasn't thinking that, you idiot. — And then Megumi let out a loud laugh.

— I know, I was just trying to amuse you. — He shrugged and left you standing in front of the door. — See you at lunch?

— Yes, of course. — You answered, and then suddenly remembered Nobara's request on the phone earlier. Your hand held one of his arms so that he wouldn't walk away without listening to you. — Megumi, can we have a movie night at your place tonight? Nobara came up with the idea of doing this to cheer me up a bit. — He seemed to become suddenly tense.

— I'll have to at least let Toji know that there will be people coming home today. — Megumi answered vaguely and shrugged. — I'll send a message to Kugisaki and let her know if it's on or off.

Nodding your head positively, you gave your friend a slight smile, and then for the rest of the day your mind concentrated on paying attention to your classes, your scheduled seminars and the pile of work you still had to do. There was no time for your heart to pound with grief over the loss of your now ex-boyfriend, but there were several minutes when you had to chase away persistent thoughts of Megumi's dad. But looking at him wasn't enough, your hands wanted to explore his body and leave marks everywhere, that's what you thought until you felt ashamed, pushed the thoughts away for a few brief minutes and then thought about it again. In a vicious loop.

When you were having lunch with Itadori, Fushiguro and Kugisaki, your head tried to focus on their conversation as much as possible, but looking at the man with black hair and beautiful eyelashes reminded you of Toji and your hands started to break into a cold sweat. It had been a frustrating, tiring day, but secretly you were a little excited to see your friend's father again.

— Don't take too long, okay? — Nobara spoke after dropping you off and leaning against the hallway wall, and you nodded positively before going to your room to pack a backpack with some pajamas and an outfit in case you and the other two friends ended up falling asleep while you were at Megumi's house.

It didn't take long before you two were ringing the doorbell of the Fushiguro’s house and from the loud sound from inside the house you both could tell Yuuji had already arrived. Suddenly, Y/N felt nervous not knowing who would answer the door. Would it be Toji? "Damn", you thought as you saw exactly him calmly opening the door. This time he wasn't wearing very dark clothes, it was just gray sweatpants and a white v-neck shirt that still highlighted his beautiful collarbones.

— Is that them? — Itadori shouted from another room in the house.

— Yes. — Megumi, who was looking at the two girls standing in the doorway over Toji's shoulder, answered. — You may come in.

Toji moved to the side letting you two into the house and, using the personal excuse of being embarrassed, Y/N walked in with her head down. And partly, in fact, it was true that you were embarrassed, but your mind knew that your eyes wanted to take a good look at the older Fushiguro's thighs and cock. It was impossible not to look at those parts of his body, especially with that kind of pants.

But then Toji gave himself the right to go up the stairs to the upper floor of the house and out of your field of vision when Megumi asked you and Nobara which movie you wanted to watch and she answered that a drama movie. And then the four of you started to watch the movie comfortably, until you started to feel the straps of your own bra start to press painfully against the skin of your shoulders.

— Can I go to the bathroom? — Y/N asked Megumi, who pointed to the steps of the staircase diagonally across from the sofa.

— First door on the left. — You nodded and walked up the stairs carrying your backpack, intending to get rid of your bra and also put on the comfortable pajama top that had been brought.

From the hallway you could hear the low sound of another TV escaping through the gap in a tall door. It was probably Toji's room, such a thought raced through your mind, and you shrugged as you entered the bathroom, leaned against the door, and began to remove your bra and change into your shirt. It was inevitable to sigh in relief as you felt your shoulders less tense and sore and your hands groped your breasts just for the personal pleasure of feeling them free now.

— Hmm, may I come in? — A muffled voice was heard behind the door and instinctively you quickly removed your hands from your breasts.

— Just a minute. — Y/N answered, shoving the previously worn blouse into her backpack and almost running toward the door, slowly opening it.

You looked forward and found yourself facing a bare hard chest as you waited to see a long hallway with four different doors. Toji was now shirtless in front of you and your cheeks burned a little, which got a little worse when your brain short-circuited, your hand rested two fingers against the warm, somewhat soft skin of his chest, and you pulled away slightly so that you could look him in the eye.

— I'm sorry. — Your hand finished opening the door and there was again a sideways smile on Toji's lips

— Are you going to sleep here? — He asked, sliding his gaze over her shoulders, breasts and abdomen freely, without any embarrassment.

— No, actually. I just changed my shirt to be more comfortable.

— Got it. — Toji looked you straight in the eyes again, but yours were already gliding across his face until you found the scar close to his lips.

— How did you get this scar? — You felt the need to prolong the conversation just to get a better record of his face.

— You're pretty curious for someone apparently shy. — He remarked, his eyes sparkling with a gleam that you couldn't quite identify what it was. — When I was younger, we could say I wasn't the friendliest person in the whole world, so I got into a few fights. — Toji shrugged, as if this was not relevant information

How old are you? — A mischievous smile slowly drew on his lips.

— Old enough to be your dad.

"Then maybe I can call you Daddy", was the first thing you thought, but there wasn't enough courage in you to flirt shamelessly, especially with Megumi or the other two able to eavesdrop from downstairs.

— I think I've been here with you long enough. — Y/N answered, putting the backpack on her back and walking past Toji, but just as her feet were about to start down the steps, the older Fushiguro called her out.

— I think you forgot something, little girl. — You turned back in confusion, and in his hands was your bra. Toji threw the piece of clothing toward you through the air without much force to fall gently onto your palms that had opened toward him. — The next time you forget something like that inside my house, I'll keep it for myself. — You frowned, assuming that he was implying that there was possibly something between you and his son.

— Me and Megumi, we don't... — Your shoulders shook without your mouth finishing the sentence.

— I wasn't talking about him exactly, you're very naive, not that that's a problem for me. — He went into the bathroom and eventually you were alone again.

Feeling more embarrassed than the first time you had seen Toji earlier at the university entrance, you joined your friends again in the middle of the movie and were grateful that none of them had bothered to ask if anything had happened in the bathroom because of your delay. Eventually Nobara fell asleep on your shoulder after eating two pieces of the pizza Megumi had asked his father to buy, and Yuuji began to yawn almost pushing the son of the owner of the house off the couch.

— I knew they would both end up sleeping. — Megumi grumbled, pushing Itadori aside and getting up from the sofa. — There are two guest bedrooms upstairs, you and Nobara can use both of them and Yuuji sleeps with me, or one of you can sleep with me and the other and Itadori in the other bedrooms.

— I think it's better that Yuuji better sleep with you. — Y/N replied looking at Kugisaki, who was starting to fall off her shoulder.

And then Fushiguro woke the almost sleeping Itadori to go upstairs while he carried Nobara up the stairs and you accompanied him carrying both your and your friend's backpack. After tidying Kugisaki up in bed and getting Yuuji changed, Megumi spoke to you before leaving you alone in the guest room:

— If you feel hungry, you can go in the kitchen and get something to eat during the night. And, well, you already know where the bathroom is, and so does my room. If anything happens during the night, you can call me or him. — Megumi pointed to the door of Toji's bedroom, and you nodded positively.

And then you laid lazily on the slightly uncomfortable bed in the room and tried to relax. Almost, almost, sleep caught up with you, but your evil brain began to make you think about the fact that Toji was only a few miserable doors away, and the anxiety began to corrupt you rapidly, like a corrosive acid. But even though you wanted to go knock on his door, you forced yourself to sleep, especially since the day had been exhausting.

The next day, just like the rest of the week, Y/N didn't get to see Megumi's dad, and he didn't make much of a point of talking about his father either, after all, why would his friends be interested in him, right? All the other days of the week, her mind focused more on trying not to think about her ex-boyfriend and also not to think about Toji, just college business.... And then came the next Thursday of the successive week.

And there was Toji Fushiguro, leaning against his big motorcycle, but this time with only one helmet and different clothes. Honestly? You didn't know if you should go talk to him or not, if you should just walk right by or not. But, in the end, your mind tricked you into choosing the second option, and your feet awkwardly made their way to the college with your eyes struggling not to check the man's reactions.

— Can I have your number, little girl? — Toji asked in a tone loud enough for you to hear.

— What? — You looked away, wringing your hands nervously.

— I asked if I could have your number. — One of his hands swung his cell phone toward you.

The first thought that crossed your mind was, "What if someone sees us together and tells Megumi?", but honestly, Megumi probably wouldn't be interested in your sex or love life, even if it was with his father.

— Maybe, if you take me for a motorcycle ride today.

— You're wearing a skirt, are you sure you'd want to do that? — Toji suppressed a playful laugh. — You could have a ride somewhere more comfortable than my motorcycle today.

You narrowed your eyes and bit the inside of your cheek, realizing that you were entering dangerous territory in a game of seduction that Toji knew and played better than you.

— Will Megumi be at home?

— He has an internship today. — Toji replied, drumming his fingers on his helmet.

— Wait for me after four o'clock then. — You replied and walked back toward the college as you felt his eyes fixed on your ass.

Throughout the day you felt uncomfortably nervous and Nobara even asked you if everything was okay several times at different times. The only answer your mind formulated was a simple positive head movement, because honestly you felt embarrassed to be interested in a friend's dod, even though this father was extremely attractive and did not reject your shy and restrained advances. He was just so nice, fine.

Fine enough to make you press your thighs together to try to relieve the sexual tension as your legs walked towards the Fushiguro house. And when you got there, it didn't take long to see Toji opening the door wearing only black sweatpants. You went inside and closed the door, nervously watching the older man, who sat comfortably on the sofa in the living room and called out to you with his index finger. As you stopped in front of him, one hand patted his lap and the other was placed on your thigh covered by your skirt. Slowly, Y/N took her seat sitting on his covered cock.

— Why do you look so tense, hm? — Toji asked, squeezing your thigh without too much force and you moved slightly against his hip. — Are you a virgin by any chance? — Your cheeks heated up.

— N-No, you just make me nervous. — Y/N replied, shrugging slightly.

— Do I? — He pretended to be surprised as he slid his hand up her skirt and pushed his fingertips against her covered pussy. — Do I make you get your panties wet too? — Toji pressed his hips against hers and her hands rested on his shoulders for a few brief seconds.

— Fuck, yes. — You groaned, taking your fingers to the buttons of your shirt to undo them. — I've been thinking about you more than I should, I've been thinking about everything about you.

— So, why don't you show me how much you've been thinking about me, huh? — Fushiguro pulled her panties aside and stroked her pussy in slow circular motions while he brought his other hand to her face and pulled her closer to his. — Show me how much you want me and cum on my fingers like the dirty slut I know you can be. — His thumb slowly brushed over your lips and you opened them, your mouth filled by long fingers.

You grabbed his wrist close to your intimacy and guided two of his digits into your interior. And, fuck, they filled you so well. Toji's fingers were thicker and longer than yours, so the times he repeatedly curved them inside your cunt, their tips easily brushed and pressed that spot that made you roll your eyes having your body spasm with pleasure. "What a beautiful vision", the man would be thinking as he watched his beautiful college girl choking on his fingers while being fucked by the others.

However, he didn't move his hand against you much, meaning that he let you choose the pace and intensity, until you whimpered against his neck in a silent request for his fingers to move against you:

— Please, Toji, move your fingers. — Y/N said as she pulled away from Toji's digits that were preventing her from speaking and forced her hips against his hand.

— Can't you cum on your own? — He asked squeezing your chin to make you keep your mouth open. — Pathetic. — Toji spat on your tongue and closed your mouth to force you to swallow. — Pathetic slut. — And then he began to finger you in a relentless rhythm.

If Fushiguro wanted to make you cum in his hand, that's exactly what he got, and he even got a great view of your trembling body, your breasts rising and falling rapidly because of your rapid breathing and your head falling back in an intense pleasure you didn't know your body could achieve. While you were still clouded by ecstasy, his fingers snuck up to finish removing your panties and getting rid of your clothes covering your upper body. He wanted you only in your skirt.

— Look at my pet slut with her beautiful cunt leaking. — His fingers spread the folds of your pussy to see you twitching around just at his obscene words. — Just so nice. — Toji pressed the thumb against your sensitive clit and gave you a smirk before he sat you down on one of his thighs, began to move you there and also slowly stimulated your clit.

His body leaned down and his lips latched onto your breasts, sucking and licking them more intensely as your hips moved faster against his thigh. And occasionally Fushiguro would pull up her skirt and slap her ass hard enough to leave several finger marks across her skin; and it was on one of his slaps that a short, gasping, "Daddy" sneaked out from between your lips and hit Toji's mind as a twinge of intense pleasure coursed through his entire body.

— Say that again. — He ordered, grabbing her neck with the hand that had been slapping her ass before.

— Daddy... — Y/N groaned breathlessly as she continued to move her hips against Toji's thigh in a desperate attempt to cum again.

— Keep calling me that, be a good little whore for me. — His other hand continued to stimulate your clit, now at a more intense pace that managed to push you straight into the abyss of a orgasmic pleasure that you so desperately needed.

After that, Fushiguro held you still in place as he continued to press his fingers against your clit. He definitely wanted to bring you close to the level of almost passing out from so much lust running freely through your body, and so your legs instinctively closed around his hand. At the same time that you desperately needed to breathe because you felt like your lungs were burning from your intense panting, every fiber of your body was still clamoring for the stimulation that only Toji could give you at the moment, so it wasn't hard for him to force your legs open again with a sly smile on his lips:

— Come on, my pretty girl, give me everything you've got. — He made scissor-like movements against her walls and her hips automatically forced themselves against Toji's palm, even though her intimacy was already quite sensitive.

— Daddy, please... please, more, daddy... — Y/N sank her face into the curve of Toji's neck trying to stifle her own moans.

— What a great fuck toy you are. — His fingers curved and you gasped, feeling again that same pressure as before against your bottom that indicated that your third orgasm was approaching. — No matter how much I make you cum you keep asking for more.

And the more he moved his fingers frantically against your pussy, the more you felt your thoughts disappear completely and all that was left was only Toji Fushiguro, and his fingers, and the cocky smile he had no matter what the situation was. Those same fingers that made you squirt for the first time against his abdomen in a third, overwhelming orgasm and your cheeks heat up violently, especially after seeing Toji bring them to his lips looking more than just satisfied with his work with you. Fuck, you could fuck him several times, you could pass out from pleasure, and you still wouldn't ask him to stop or slow down with you.

— Think you can handle one more, pretty girl? — He asked, his hands reaching for his pants and underwear.

— Yes, Daddy. — Y/N tried to speak as firmly as possible with her heavy breathing.

Toji put one hand on your waist and the other on your chin and took the opportunity to pull you in for a kiss as he entered you slowly, which made you lose some focus on the kiss and moan against his mouth as your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders. He didn't let you get too used to the recent intrusion and started thrusting himself against you hard.

After leaving yours, his mouth slid down your neck and shoulders to leave sucking and biting the area before placing the hand that was on your chin on your neck. Eventually yours moans went from simple gasps and sighs to little "Daddy" that made Fushiguro's dick twitch against yours insides several times and grunts escape his lips.

— I will breed you like the desperate little whore that you are. — Toji stroked hard against you while squeezing your neck a little harder. — I bet you're going to love this, aren't you?

— Y-Yes, daddy, breed me, please. — Y/N moved her hips against his while maintaining eye contact with the older man's predatory eyes. — Fill me up completely, until I'm leaking.

Toji squeezed your waist tightly, tilted your body slightly until your hips arched a bit, and started a rhythm of thrusts against you that as a result made your mind go blank and your nails leave scratches on his shoulders. And your fourth orgasm didn't even take long to hit you almost as hard as the third because your whole body had been extremely sensitive for a long time; after fucking that man incessantly you would definitely be addicted to him, to his touch, to his dick, to his lips. Everything about him was addictive.

After making you cum for the fourth time, Fushiguro kept thrusting inside you until his cock forcefully contracted against you and filled you full of cum. By that point you had definitely become just a bunch of holes for him to fuck, and if your body wasn't already so sensitive you might want him to actually fill every possible place in your body with cum. When he withdrew his dick from inside your pussy, Toji pulled your hips up to watch the white liquid escape your entrance and used his fingers to push it into you again.

— Come here. — He patted his chest lightly, and you leaned your sweaty body against his as you lifted your head to look at him. His hands caressed your body and soon you found yourself being carried up the stairs. — I'm going to give you a long shower, and then I'll take you home. — Toji left a gentle kiss against your forehead, and you felt more comfortable than you really should have in his arms.

— Thank you, daddy. — You replied, and he couldn't suppress a satisfied smile.

And maybe from then on you continued to take advantage of the times when Megumi wasn't home or you weren't so busy with college to spend hours together.

[rommahh]

{Harry in sparkly black….Harry lemme **** *** *** for free}

You hadn’t talked to Harry all day. Not that you were mad at him or anything but your therapy this morning left you feeling a little spacey. There was something about talking about your emotions that left you feeling emotionally drained.

You missed Harry terribly and though it’s only been a short week, you felt very lonely. But on another note, your anxiety wasn’t as bad as it was. You were starting to feel like your normal self again but missing something.

You loved the tight knit life you have with Harry. You like being around him most hours of the day. You two were inseparable. If you were in the shower, he was in the bathroom reading a book from the lounger chair in the corner. If he was writing music on the beach, you were somewhere on the shore collecting shells. If you were going to the grocery store the least he could do was go for the drive with you. You two were close and it was something the both of you were ok with.

Some couples don’t like being so close but it worked for you and Harry. Being away from Harry was a weird experience. It’s only been a week but you feel like it’s been a lifetime. You haven’t minded being on your own but you wanted to be with the person you felt most connected to.

So being you, you purchased a ticket to Chicago. You didn’t know how Harry was going to react but you could only assume it would be a positive reaction. You told Jeff that you were coming so he could get you a hotel key and backstage pass.

As you sat in the airport you felt your back pocket buzz- your music pausing for the call. Your hand slipped into the pocket roughly pulling out the small phone. Harry’s icon, him in a fluffy robe looking as grumpy as ever, met your eyes. You cursed because you were quite obviously in the airport and if he saw you, the surprise would be ruined.

You answered anyways but only for audio. You made sure that your airpods were snug in you ear and there was no chance of them falling out.

“My lover!” Harry greets you a in sing song voice. You could hear his humph as he recognizes that you didn’t answer with the FaceTime video on. “Turn your camera on.”

“Can’t, I’m not feeling good.” You fib nervously. Harry frowned, nervous that he may have done something to upset you.

“Oh, alright. What’s wrong then?” He asks. You chew your lip trying to think of an answer.

“Uh, period.” You stammer.

“Your period doesn’t start for another few day…saw it on the tracker.” Harry may have your period tracker on his phone but it was because he wanted to make sure he was able to comfort you the best way he could when he needed to.

“Must be the meds-“ The sound of your boarding attendant sounded over your head cutting you off. “Hey bubs, I’ve actually got to go but we can’t chat later.”

“Sure, that’s fine I guess. Love you.” He mumbles, confused by the phone call. You hang up leaving Harry a little lost in his thoughts.

Later, Harry sang through his rehearsal carelessly, his head clouded with thoughts. He even sang through TBSL and though he was in the worst of moods, fans waiting at the venue thought he never sounded better.

You on the other hand had just sat through the worst flight of your life. There was a woman in the flight who didn’t want to wear her mask causing commotion before the flight could even take off. You had the worst headache halfway through the flight and because of the lack on supplies, the flight couldn’t give you any ginger ale or accommodations.

You didn’t let any of it get to you though as you directed for the chauffeur Jeff sent for you to go to the venue for show.

Harry sat in the common room backstage with the band and Jeff eating dinner grumpily. His fork was stabbing every little piece of lettuce of his salad, everyone watched worried that he may break his bowl.

“HS3 is trending on Twitter today, pretty exciting.” Jeff says to Harry breaking the silence. Jeff just received a text from you saying that you arrived to the venue and were walking towards Harry’s dressing room.

“Mmm great.” Harry grumbles. Jeff rolled his eyes at the diva.

“Someone’s a little pissy this evening. How about you go fix that mood before you greet your fans with a bad attitude.” Jeff scolds him like a child who just got caught doing something they shouldn’t have. Jeff really didn’t care about Harry’s attitude, used to the moods at this point, but he needed a way for Harry to leave the room and see you in the dressing room.

“Fine, didn’t want to be around anyways.” Harry shrugs.

Back in Harry’s dressing room, you rolled your suitcase into a corner where Harry’s outfit for the night resided on a hanger. You smiled at the sparkly black top that you helped pick out. You walked around his dressing room from the hair and makeup table, past the bathroom/ dressing area, and back around to the couch’s and coffee table where you took a seat. You snagged one of his green juices needing the boost of energy from being on the flight.

You heard the door knob jiggle but stayed planted in you seat sipping on the juice. You never made a peep as Harry barged through the room, scowl covering his face. He stormed past the couch not batting an eye at you. He went to the mini fridge where his juices were before letting an exasperated sigh.

“Who fucking took my juice?” He whines. You quietly giggle in your hand at his tone.

“Im sorry, thought I could have it.” You chuckle. Harry leaps from where he stands letting out a yell. He turns to look at you with wide eyes, hand over his chest as if his heart was going to explode from his chest. You stood from the couch waiting for him to react more but he just stood there in shock. When the realization of you actually being there kicked in he let out another yell before bounding over to you.

Before you knew it, you had two strong arms wrapped tightly around you. Your wrapped around his neck, hands and fingers spread through his hair. His face tucked into your lower neck peppering desperate kisses all over just to feel something.

“What are you doing here?” You hear him cry. You pulled away from him to wipe his eyes of the tears that streamed down his face.

“I needed to see you.” Was all you could muster. He pulled you down on the couch, your body cushioning his larger frame. He laid in between your legs, your back flat in the body of the couch.

“Im so happy your here.” Harry couldn’t even put his excitement into words. He knew you were coming in a week but to have you here earlier than that made him feel things. He sat up from suffocating you into the couch, allowing for you to sit up beside him. “What about your therapy? I hope you’re not jeopardizing your mental health to be here with me cause I would much prefer if you put me on the back burner and took care of yourself.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “I’m ok. I still will see my therapist virtually, I’ve got all new meds that are working fine, and if all goes to shit I will go back home. It’s ok bubs.” You reassure him.

He grabs your face with both hands pulling your face to his. Your lips meet with need. His lips slotting with yours, moving slowly but with rigor as if he was scared you would slip from his fingers. Your bottom lips fit between his lips leaving for him to suck on it slightly. You moaned at the feeling making Harry pull you in tighter. You sat slightly upon his lap, chest against each other tightly. Your tongues pushed at one another, lips loving in tangent.

You pulled away when you felt his lower presence awaken. He whined at the loss of contact making you giggle.

“If we go any further you’re gonna be late for your show. I’ll give you more back at the hotel, yeah?” You say lowly trying to catch your breathe. He groaned resting his forehead on yours chasing your lips with chaste kisses making you smile.

“Fine, you owe my though. This is level three apology situation that can only be resolved with these things; sloppy blowies, butt stuff, or face masks if you catch my drift.” He chastised. You let out a deep belly laugh pushing yourself away from him. You two still sit facing each other, your legs slightly on top of his.

“You’re so nasty, but I may be able to arrange one of those.” You wink making Harry let out a triumphant laugh.

“Are you staying for the show? I understand if your not.” He questions fiddling with your fingers.

“Think it would be best if I didn’t. I’m really tired and I obviously need a nap if I’m going to be up for your post show antics.” You joke giving his nose a poke. He jokingly pretends to bite your finger in retaliation.

Harry went on stage that night happier than ever. He started plotting proposals from the second he walked you to the car with your suitcase and waved goodbye to you. You went to the hotel room and “accidentally” fell asleep wearing one of your most recent purchases curled up in your tour bus blanket.

Let’s just say that Harry not so accidentally woke you up after that concert ready to love all of his adrenaline off in you.

Part 2👀

[storiesforallfandoms]

talent that runs in the family ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 2128

request?: yes!

“Being rooks sister and substitute him while he recovers and slowly start to fall in love with colson”

description: she steps in to replace her brother when he is seriously injured and ends up gaining feelings for his friend

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“Thanks so much for doing this (Y/N),” Rook said over the phone. “I appreciate it.”

“Yeah, no problem,” I said. “But does Colson know that I’m...y’know...not a seasoned vet?”

“You’ll do fine.”

I refrained from reminding him that he didn’t actually answer my question.

After Rook’s accident left him out of commission for some time, he came to me to ask if I’d fill in for him. I jumped at the opportunity. Rook had taught me how to drum when I was young and, much like my big brother, it became a passion of mine. How could I turn down working with one of the biggest artists of the year, even if it were just for a short while?

Well, my nerves were definitely telling me I should’ve said no as I walked into soundcheck that day.

“Whatever,” I said. “I’ll call you after the soundcheck.”

“Hey, don’t be nervous. You’re gonna do great.”

I said my goodbyes and hung up. I tried not to focus on how big the venue we were playing in was as I made my way to the otherwise empty stage. I thought I was the first person to arrive until I heard someone calling my name.

“(Y/N), up here!”

I looked up to see the guys sat in a booth in the balcony. Colson was all but leaning over the railing, waving for me to join them. I had no idea how to get up there on my own, but luckily a security guard showed me the way.

The guys were eating pizza and drinking from plastic cups as if they were the ones attending the concert and not performing in it.

“Pre-show ritual,” Colson told me. “Especially when we have someone new joining the band. Sit! Have a slice!”

“Shouldn’t we be practicing?” I asked, but still sat with them. I didn’t want to completely mess up my first day.

“We have hours to practice,” one of the other guys I remembered as Slim said. “And we don’t really need to. We do this every night. A soundcheck is basically just to make sure everything is working tech wise.”

I just nodded, not wanting to point out that I hadn’t been doing this every night. I hoped that I’d have some time to figure out the songs before the shows.

Colson nudged me, bringing my attention to him. “Don’t stress. You’ll do great.”

I smiled at him, wishing I’d believe him.

After our small feast of pizza and beer in plastic glasses, we finally got to our soundcheck. I was so nervous that I kept messing up during the first song. My hands were shaking and I kept hitting the wrong drum by accident. My face was burning with embarrassment as I buried it in my hands and groaned.

Colson walked up to me, a sympathetic smile on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I can get this, I know I can.”

“I know you can, too,” he said. “Just take a breath, relax. We’ll try again when you’re ready. And remember, it’s just drumming. Rook says you’re great at it.”

I smiled at him and nodded. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I pictured myself back in my bedroom from my childhood, playing my drums super loud until my parents had to call out for me to keep it down.

When we started practicing again, it went off without a hitch. We did most of the setlist all the way through and did quick takes on the last few songs before our time was up.

I was proud of myself as the soundcheck came to an end. I was still nervous about performing during the actual show, but I felt confident enough in myself not to make too many noticeable mistakes when we actually had an audience that night.

I was walking to my car when I heard someone calling for me. I turned to see Colson running to catch up with me. Or rather he was taking long strides to catch up with me considering he was so tall.

“I told you you would do great!” he said, putting an arm around my shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. “It’s like drumming runs in your blood or something.”

I chuckled. “That’s what mom and dad always said too, but neither one of them can keep a beat to save their lives and no one else in our immediate family plays either.”

“You and Rook are the start of a long line of drummers then I guess.”

I shrugged in response. We both stood awkwardly for a moment. I wasn’t sure what else to say. His arm was still around my shoulder and I didn’t want to pull away and make it seem like I didn’t enjoy the contact because I definitely was not complaining about it.

I guess Colson also realized that he was still touching me, though, because he pulled his arm away and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

“Do you need a run to the hotel or anything?” he asked. “We have the tour bus.”

I shook my head. “I’m good, thanks. I have my car, and besides I haven’t even checked into the hotel yet so I should probably go do that.”

“Oh, yeah you definitely should. Get some rest before the show, too. It’s a lot more physically demanding when it’s an actual show, even if you’re just sitting at a drum set the entire time. I’ll see you tonight then I guess.” He turned to walk away, but paused and turned back to add, “What were you planning on wearing tonight?”

I looked at him, confused. “Uh...this I guess.”

I was wearing a hoodie and a pair baggy jeans and my most comfortable pair of sneakers.

Colson raised an eyebrow at my outfit before looking back up at me. “I mean, it’s definitely comfy, but I would recommend something a little less...well, just less. It’s going to be hot as fuck on that stage, especially with all the lights on you and shit.”

I nodded, taking note of this as I got into my car and internally panicked a little because I didn’t know if I even had anything to wear.

~~~~~~

A few hours later, after checking into my hotel room and promptly wrecking it by throwing my clothes everywhere, I was heading back down to the lobby to meet up with the guys. We were going to the show together, which would’ve been my first tour bus ride. I couldn’t lie, I was super stoked for it.

I was the last one to the lobby. All the guys were stood around, loudly talking to one another. You’d think they were just a normal group of guys and not a group about to play a sold out show in a massive arena.

Colson spotted me first. I smiled at waved at him. His eyes widened and his jaw basically dropped, which prompted all the guys to turn. Their reactions immediately matched his as they looked me up and down.

“Rook would kill you guys if he could see you right now,” I teased.

“Damn (Y/N),” Colson dared to say first. “You look...you look hot as fuck.”

I had decided on a loose muscle shirt with a bralette underneath since the shirt showed a little more than what I was used to, a pair of ripped skinny jeans, and kept on the comfortable sneakers I had been wearing earlier that day.

I giggled. “Thanks, but again, Rook would kill you for saying that. Also, it’s not anything super attractive.”

“You got a nice body,” Baze pointed out. “Anything showing it off even a little is hot.”

I could feel my face burning as I waved their comments away. “Okay, enough with this. We have a show to get to.”

We boarded the tour bus and started towards the arena. The guys were distracted amongst one another again, completely forgetting about me and my “hot outfit”. Besides Colson, who had come to sit next to me on the couch while the rest of the guys were already drinking whatever was in the mini fridge.

“Do you guys always get drunk before your shows?” I asked.

“Not always. Usually we get high,” Colson responded.

“Now that I can get behind. I’ll probably be less afraid if I’m high.”

Colson held out the joint in his hand to me. I took it and took a quick puff, the smoke immediately burning my throat and lungs as I tried to inhale it. Colson laughed as I started to cough.

“I still say you have nothing to worry about,” he told me. “You’re gonna do great tonight. You can’t even really see or hear the audience with all the lights and the inner ear pieces.”

“That’s even worse cause then I’ll just imagine how big the audience is.”

He put a hand on my leg, something I assume was just instinct for him to do to comfort someone, but the minute he made the contact I felt a jolt of electricity run through me. Colson quickly pulled his hand away and I wondered if he had felt that too.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that without asking,” he said.

“You can if you want,” I assured him. “I wasn’t mad about it or anything.”

Colson looked at me and I realized how blue his eyes were. Rook had always made jokes about how Colson could seduce any woman with just his eyes because they were such baby blues, but I didn’t really believe him until the moment I was looking in them myself. Now I was lost, completely forgetting everyone around me as I felt myself moving closer towards him.

The bus jerked to a stop, causing Colson and I to nearly be thrown from our seats. The guys started off the bus first, running towards the entrance to the arena as I could hear the waiting fans screaming outside.

Colson stood and offered a hand to me. “It’s showtime.”

~~~~~~

After the first song went perfectly, I stopped feeling nervous. Colson was right, I couldn’t see the audience in front of me, but I could faintly hear their screams of excitement over my inner ear piece. It was weird to have it in and not only hear all of us playing, but also the crew talking backstage. It was almost distracting, but it became easy to tune them out.

During one of Colson’s talking points in the show, I reached for my water bottle to take a sip. Colson was hyping the audience up, which made me smile a little.

“Before we continue the show,” he said into his mic, “you guys may have noticed that we do not have our regular drummer tonight.”

I immediately knew what he was about to do and I wanted to hurtle my drumstick at him before he went there.

“As you’ve probably heard, Rook was in a bit of an accident and is off recovering for the time being,” he continued. “So, we decided to get some family to fill in for him for the time being. Everyone, I want to hear y’all make some noise for Rook’s little sister, (Y/N)!”

The crowd cheered loudly. Colson turned to me and waved for me to stand. I glared at him, which I hoped he could see, before standing and awkwardly smiling and waving at the audience.

“All the cool drum shit you guys have been hearing all night has been (Y/N),” Colson said as he started to approach me. “She’s a bad ass fucking drummer, and she’s a pretty fucking cool chick, too.”

I was confused where he was going with this as he came to stand next to me, slinging an arm around my shoulder the way he had earlier that day after soundcheck.

“Which is why, (Y/N), I gotta ask: will you go on a date with me sometime?”

Slight embarrassment was swelling somewhere inside of me at being asked out in such a public way, but that embarrassment was overshadowed by the fuzzy feeling of excitement inside of me. I looked up at Colson, my eyes wide and a smile on my lips.

 He lowered the mic so he could privately add, “I’m being serious. I wanna take you out on a real date. Just the two of us.”

My words were stuck in my throat, but I was able to nod in response. The smile on Colson’s face stretched so wide that I could’ve been convinced he was the one lighting the show.

“Okay,” he said, then lifted the mic to say to his audience, “Let’s get back to the show guys!”