#I HATE killing bugs - I feel really really bad for them
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would you ever fully be able to abandon jeg
this sounds like a challenge
#but like.... man i dont know#no? maybe idk#like they're my guys#and i love them more than anything#i haven't loved a ship more than them#they've been my guys for four years yeah#but this fandom is fucking killing me#like there are some bright moments but they're followed by very bad moments#no one is coming after me im not getting hate anons#im just so isolated it feels like im not even here even when im posting all the time yknow#so i think yeah if i get pushed out enough i could âabandonâ jeg#not that i want to#and not that im trying to#earlier today i got really excited to write jeg again like it comes back it's always been there#the answer is complicated#sorry if i sound rude or whatver#i just get anons that care more about getting more âcontentâ from me than how i am as a person#it bugs me#maybe you didn't mean it like that idk!#ive been having very bad fandom nights recently#so this is just where i am#my answer used to be a complete no i never could've seen it#but recently i dont know it's more up in the air#which fucking fucks i hate that#i dont want to feel like this!#i dont know
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11:23
I'm a damn leech. That's all I am
#audrey/kellie's rambles#audrey/kellie vents#dont mind me#im a leech. im a bug. disgusting. im too much to bare. others in the community talk to each other and yet rarely me#i try to talk witj them. maybe im just not that ... good with my ocs. maybe thats why they never ask. maybe-#im too fucking clingy. im too obsessive. im too moody. im fucking crazy.....#I'll just be here tho. i wonder why no one really talks to me. outside of the internet and in of the internet too#but maybe that means im too fucking annoying for something. bjt then again they have a life and its not sll about me. and my long ass asks#they should be sble to live their life. and yet here i am. getting jealous fucking jealous that my friends are talking to each other#its stupid. i shouldn't be like this. its fucking stupid to he jealous of my friends talking to each other. but it seems like i only#see them as my friends or maybe its because i said smth about my school. and then they leave me alone. but theyve.. always left me alone#always. always a shadow. always actually reminding me that im a bad fucking person. always to be there because...#honestly it has to be me. right? im the damn problem. thay dont talk to me. yet i talk to them endlessly. like they are already gone or smth#i suck at being friends. because this is who i am. some possessive fucking freak. i really should. choked myself with some wires.......#this is just reminding me that my twin is more better and more interesting then who i wanted to be hack then when i was on Amino.#even back then they didn't care for me. now its like its the same but much worse. because-#i hate it. i hate feeling lonely. what the fuck. give me fucking validation. give me attention. give me love.#give me any fucking kind of attention. hate on me. spit on me. kick my legs. i dont. i just want attention. i want to be the center of it#all. but im not and it fucking kills me. i want it so bad. and honestly? i did. for a fraction. because of Flor and my other past ideas#and Flor was a bit of a self insert. she was a sona. in a way. and now Yume will be one too. but-#fucking. don't fucking talk to me. i need to work on his draft
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Went to the hospital yesterday. Good news is that there's a 90% chance not playing Dengue Fever Russian Roulette this time. Bad news is that it might be a bacterial infection (really really hope it isn't, I hate how antibiotics wreacks you and give you candida).
For those who are blissfully unaware of Dengue Fever Russian Roulette, it goes like this:
Dengue Fever is a tropical disease transmitted by mosquitoes that is like a REALLY UNPLEASANT flu episode that lasts about ten days. You have sharp pain on your joints and high fevers that alternate with you feeling weak and tired, with or without nausea and headaches. Then, when the fever and the pain subside, everything starts to itch and you develop a red rash under your skin. More damning, your coagulation blood cells (I'm feverish and don't wanna use Google Translate, I think you call then plaquettes?) are destroyed by the virus, so you have to be careful about injuring yourself.
The Roulette comes from the fact that there are around 4 or 5 types of Dengue Fever. Getting one makes you immune to it. And one of those types is called "Haemorrhagic Dengue Fever", which is when your blood coagulation REALLY goes down and you might start bleeding and bruising out of nowhere. Meaning that every time you get Dengue Fever, you SPIN! THAT! WHEEL! to see if you are getting the "after the 3rd day people start to get antsy because you are really sick without external noticeable symptoms like coughing and sniffling" type or the "you'll probably need to be on observation in the hospital so you don't bleed to death" option.
And don't start me on Zika Fever or Chikungunya Fever, which are different (and significantly worse) diseases, but also options on that wheel since they start similar to Dengue Fever and are transmitted by the same species of mosquito.
Tropical diseases just plain hate you, man.
#dengue fever#fever#sick days#dengue fever russian roulette#I HATE killing bugs - I feel really really bad for them#but aedes aegypti mosquitoes are the exception#I take no pleasure on it to be clear#but it's you or me buddy - it's fully about survival and you aren't endangered
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I SHOULD HATE YOU
steve harrington x fem!reader
word count: [22.3k]
warnings: warnings: no use of y/n, enemies to lovers, reader and steve use foul language towards each other (bitch, asshole, ect). blood (one of them gets hurt...but not bcs of each other), eventual smut (oral: both m and f receiving, fingering, piv, multiple o's,) minors gtfo before i superkick you!!!
summary: You and Steve Harrington hate each otherâs gutsâŚor at least you should, that is until a camp outing reveals everything that you both have been trying to hide.
You desperately wanted to see what everyone else saw in Steve Harrington that you didnât. All those words of how he changed so much and had this entire redemption arc when he decided to finally stop giving shit about stupid high school social orders and commit his life to be the esteemed and reliable babysitter.
Hell, even Robin Buckley, the one girl who really couldnât stand him a few years ago, was now his best friend, and Nancy Wheeler, his ex-girlfriend, could actually stand to be in his presence without wanting to cringe and vomit because she actually dated him.Â
You just couldnât see it in him no matter how hard you tried, not even the kids could convince you that Steve wasnât all that bad anymore. If anything they gushed about how much they admired him. How he was the cool older brother figure that they all wanted and had wrapped around their fingers ready at their beck and call.
Everyone loved Steve, but to you it was just bullshit.
âWhy the sad face, doll?â
Steve pouted feignedly, causing you to roll your eyes, slapping the flies away from your skin as you watched him pitch his stupid tent.
âIâm not sad. Iâm more so annoyed.â You grunted out with a glare.Â
âI told you to bring bug spray.â He reminded shaking his head, clearly amused seeing you get angry at the innocent flies.
âI did, but it doesnât fucking work and for your information, Iâm annoyed because youâre here.â You said through gritted teeth, slapping your neck as another one landed but flew away before you could kill it.
Steve snapped the poles into place, engrossed with his task.
âWell if it makes you feel any better,â he chimed in, standing with a straight smirk across his face, âIâm not particularly happy with your presence either seeing as though youâre not doing shit besides standing there being a bitch.â
Your eyes widened, arms crossing over your chest as you stared at him in disbelief. But by this point it shouldnât have been so surprising granted that you and Steve never stopped bickering, even when you both should have known to ignore each other.Â
âOh, go fuck yourself, Harrington!â You shouted, turning on your heel and flipping him the bird as you walked away.
âTell that to my right hand, sweet cheeks!â He called out with a whistle, reveling in the art of getting under your skin.
Nance and Jonathan exchanged amused glances, painfully familiar with how much you and Steve despised each other yet somehow got here alive without slitting each other's throats. But that didnât seem like it was going to be lasting long seeing as though this was now the beginning to a very long night.
You plopped down onto the foldable chair, still wearing a scowl that didnât seem to want to cease even with the distance you created between you and him.
âWe barely got here and youâre already at each other's throats.â
Nancy shook her head not understanding why you both couldnât be adults about this whole thing.
âHe started it!â You insisted, pointing your finger in his direction.
Jonathan couldnât help but jump in with a chuckle, feeling as if this was payback for all those times he and his brother Will gave his mom a hard time. Seriously, dealing with you both was identical to watching two toddlers tattle tale on each other for every little thing before toys and fists were thrown.Â
âSo now youâre playing the blame game?â He suspected.
You clicked your tongue, sitting up straighter, shoulders pulled back as you crossed your legs and placed your hands on top of your knees, ready to mock Steve and his privileged life that he just had to leave behind for the day.Â
âWhy couldnât he just have stayed home in his stupid mansion, driving around in his stupid Beemer, where he could be stupid all by himself and leave us out of his stupid stupidity.âÂ
You seriously looked like you could end him with your bare hands â and if they didnât know better theyâd let you have a go at it just to see how far you would get. Surely Steve would put up a good fight too, probably make it quick and easy so he didnât have to hear your voice anymore, but you would definitely be taking your time with him.Â
âHeâs the only one whoâs ever been camping and if something happens then heâll know what to do.â
Nancy attempted to reason with you, hoping you could see it through just this once, for just a couple hours.
You shrugged your shoulders, watching him in your peripheral vision.
âWhatever, as long as he stays away from me then I can make it through the next 24 hours.â You waved off.Â
But Jonathan lugged up a box, plopping it before your feet with a loud clatter coming from inside of it, staring at you with a smile.Â
âIf you want to make it to at least tonight, Iâd suggest you start getting to work.â
Cursing under your breath, you were beginning to rethink your choices of saying âyesâ to trip when you had not one outdoorsy bone in your body and surely no bone, not even a cell that could stand Steve Harrington.
But getting it pitched up yourself wasnât all that bad considering the fact that the instructions were self explanatory and had images to make it easy to follow. It was that nagging, infuriating voice that belonged to Steve that was getting on your last nerve. Like a mosquito in your ear, he kept buzzing and buzzing andâ
âTry again, youâre holding the pole backwards, smarty pants!â He called out, smirking to himself when you tried to ignore him by shutting him out and doing it at your own pace.
But ignoring him only fueled his determination to keep going, poking and prodding at your patience that was withering away by the second. Every snarky smartass remark was like nails on a chalkboard, causing your eye to twitch, teeth to grind, and self-restraint to grow weaker.Â
âYour tent is gonna fly away in the middle of the night if you donât make use of those stakes!â
âYou shoulda listened to me, I told you that pole was in the wrong slot!â
âHow about you put a little elbow grease into it and stop trying to put it together like youâre the goddamn princess of the camp ground!â
Your blood was damn nearly boiling, knuckles going white as you shoved the stupid pole into the other side, trying to get the frame to stay together. But your anger and rushing only made it worse, the wobbling frame threatening to give out on itself if you tried to force it in anymore than you already had. His whiny voice and every taunt that came with it just made you want to take the pole and use it for something else â silencing him.
Nancy and Robin had scolded Steve multiple times, knowing that your fuse with him was ridiculously short. Eddie and Jonathan, well-acquainted with your dynamic, kept their distance, observing from the sidelines not wanting to be caught in the impending storm between you two.
Eddie watched you carefully, your jaw clenching, air pushing out of your nostrils and he was sure that if it was humanly possible there would be a hot steam coming from the top of your head.Â
âKnock it off, man, sheâs getting pissed.â He warned his friend, taking a swig of his beer, while he darted between you both.
Steve however, wasnât threatened in the slightest, continuing to provoke you with another snide comment.Â
âShe wonât be pissed for long if a bear comes and mauls her in the middle of the night because she doesnât know how to pitch a damnââ
That was the last straw.
âIâm gonna fucking kill you!â You screamed, ripping off the pole and storming towards Steve not caring how insane you looked.
Eddie quickly got on his feet, dropping his beverage and intervening just in time.Â
âNot so fast!â He lifted you off the ground holding you back as Jonathan managed to wrangle the pole out of your hands.
Steve was having a fit of laughter, hunching over himself and grabbing at his midsection.
âYouâre so easy to piss off.â He cackled, shaking his head at you and giving himself an imaginary point for already getting under your skin in the first hour of being there.
âYouâre such an asshole!â You fumed, continuing to struggle in Eddie's grasp.
He kept his hold tight knowing if there was any room left for you to get away, it would most likely end with warfare. And while he and your friends never liked to come in between your tumultuous relationship, they knew letting you both rip each other apart wouldn't do anyone good â even if it gave them some peace. Â
Nancy had had enough â the trip was supposed to be peaceful, getting to be one with nature and finally getting away from the kids for once, but of course, that wouldnât happen seeing as though you and Steve acted like children possessed.
âEnough!â She shouted, bringing temporary silence as you both could feel the seriousness in her voice.
âYouâre right, Steve is an asshole and because he feels so sorry, what heâs gonna do is finish pitching up your tent while we go to the lake to cool off. Got it?â
She turned towards him, her eyes widening, signaling Steve to comply for the sake of peace just this once.
But instead, he protested, standing up defiantly, âHell no! I wouldnât even pitch her tent ifââ
âIâm not asking you, Iâm telling you.â Nancy interrupted, not leaving any room for negotiation because at this point it was futile.
Robin gestured to the partially completed frame with a small shrug.
âItâs the least you can do, half of it is already done.â She said, hoping to lighten his mood about it.Â
Reluctantly Steve huffed, glaring as he made his way over to you, faces only inches apart as everyone began to sigh, seeing as though youâd both be starting again. Eddie gripped you tight, not even giving you any wiggle room to try anything.
âYouâre lucky Robinâs staying in your tent because if she wasnât, I wouldnât even think about finishing it.â Steve rasped begrudgingly smirking because you were a prisoner in shackles.
But you jutted your neck forward as if you were about to headbutt him which caused him to flinch back, holding his arm out front of his body. That alone made you cackle, just a taste of what you could have done to get him to shut up.
âGet to work, boy scout.â You sneered.Â
Throwing Eddieâs arms off your midsection, you brushed right past him going towards your bag to get out a bikini to change into while the rest of them whispered their scoldings, particularly punctuating the importance of Steve not messing with you anymore because they couldnât stand it.
Jonathan nudged Steveâs shoulder, a pleading expression on his face.
âWould it kill you to not be such a dickhead to her for one whole day?â
Steve dramatically gasped, wrapping his arms around his own neck pretending to suffocate, âY-yes⌠I-I canât breathe, no oxygen!â
His best friend rolled her eyes, unimpressed with his childish behavior âYouâre such a dweeb, I swear.â she said, smacking the top of his head as she walked past him and followed you to the bathrooms.
âYou heard her, get to work.â
Nance snapped her fingers, pointing sharply at the tent hoping that for once heâd listen.
Jonathan and Eddie decided to serve as watch guards knowing that if no one was here to watch him and make sure he did what he was told, he would probably let you sleep with a half assed tent while Robin stayed with him and Eddie.Â
Maybe all you needed was to get as far away as possible from him⌠for as long as you could.
Stepping into the lake, the water felt nice against your skin, cooling down the sizzling blood still rushing in your veins and easing your body to a state of relaxation. If you closed your eyes hard enough and let the sun bask down on your face, you could pretend as if he wasnât just a few feet away from you, grumbling like a whiny child forced into time out to write a hundred sentences.
You honestly shouldâve known better than to agree to come along the trip knowing Steve was going to infect it with his existence, but your friends had convinced you otherwise, selling it as an opportunity to get out of Hawkins for a weekend and just enjoy each otherâs company.
If you had known that Steve was going to be even more of a pain in the ass than usual, you would have never even thought about getting into Eddie van and driving all the way here with no other means to leave.
âI just donât understand how heâs nice to everyone but you.â Robin pondered aloud, trying to understand the mystery between your relationship.
âItâs because he wants me dead, Robin, simple as that.â You deadpanned, seeing no other explanation to it other than pure hatred.
âDonât be ridiculous, he doesnât want you dead.â Nancy laughed, brushing off your comment knowing that Steve didnât hate you that much.
âOh my bad, I meant that he wants me to suffer a long excruciating death by letting his ego take up all the space in the room.â
Your voice leaked of sarcasm, eliciting laughs from the girls who found humor in what you saw as the truth.
Robin and Nancy knew there was no way the both of you could really hate each other as much as you both liked to think you did. If you really did hate each other for real, then you wouldnât even dare to tolerate each other's presence but you both did â and while sure most times it was for the sake of your friends, by now one of you shouldâve been fed up enough to leave.
Their laughter faded, Robin staring at you with a mischievous smirk as you waded in the water, enjoying the temporary peace. Perhaps she could be out of line with the thoughts brewing up in her head, but it was just a theory â a possible reasoning for you and Steveâs differences.
âDid you ever stop and think that maybe you two might get along better if you liked each other in a different way?â She wiggled her brows before biting her lip.Â
And like that, the peace was gone.
âAbsolutely fucking not!â You shouted, rejecting it with clear disgust as you began splashing her in retaliation.
She giggled some more, trying to shield herself from the large splashes as Nancy swam off to the side, happy that at least you were having some fun now, even if the conversation still revolved around Steve. Robin swam through the splashes, wrapping her hands around yours to make them stop before you both began laughing, letting her hug you as an apology for her words.
âYouâre so lucky I love you.â You grumbled, leaning closer to her to rest your cheek against her shoulder.
âOpposites attract, you know.â She continued to tease and you poked at her side, glaring half jokingly.
âNot him and I.â You declared sternly, gaze moving back up to the shore where the men still gathered near your tent.
It was nice not having to watch you stick your nose up and complain about the flies as if it was the end of the world. Without you in his ear and sights, he could finally enjoy just a smidge of the day, even if it was pitching his mortal enemyâs tent. If he didnât think about it too much, heâd forget that it would be keeping you safe and youâd wake up the next morning, living another day to make his life miserable.
Tugging the tarp into place, he zipped it up and down making sure it slid smoothly before dusting off his hands and taking a step back to examine your his work. He tilted his head, shrugging his shoulders not in the mood to fix the lousy frame.
âBesides the crooked roof, itâs not that bad.â He announced, more so glad that his punishment was over.
Jonathan grinned, patting him on the back with a hopeful look as if this was the turning point.
âWell you should tell her she didnât do a bad job then! Say something nice to her for once.â
Steive chortled looking over to him in disbelief before wagging his finger mockingly.
âOver my dead body.â
Jonathan sighed, sliding away from him and going to grab another beer for himself. Slowly but surely he was giving up on the idea of trying to get you and Steve to get along for the weekend. At this point, he and Nanceâs plan was failing terribly, seeing as though neither of you said one good thing to each other all day and it probably would never happen.
Eddie rolled his eyes, resting his back against the tree as he watched you and the girls spinning in the water enjoying yourselves.
âWhy canât you both just put your differences aside and get along?â He wondered, seeing as though you were both capable of being happy, just why not with each other.
Steve darted his eyes up to his obviously, âSheâs had it out for me since day one. Never liked me and never even tried to.â
Walking over to your bags, he picked them up along with Robinâs placing them in the tent, but he more so threw yours in, not giving a damn if the tent shook with it.
Eddie sighed, going over to fix it nicely into a corner when Steve turned away.
âTo be fair, you havenât tried to like her either so the odds were never going to be in your favor to begin with.â Jonathan pointed out truthfully.
How were the both of you ever going to get along if you held so much against each other without trying to see it through?
âYou sure you donât have a thing for her deep down? They always say that people who hate each other really just have to settle their differences in bed so they can see eye to eye.â Eddie snickered, patting his back stiffly.Â
The thought alone made Steve sick. Kissing you? Hugging you? Actually enjoying your existence? That sounded like a nightmare from hell if heâd ever dreamt one. Eddie and Jonathan found it a bit comical, even taking notice of their friends silence, his mind thinking up all the dirty andâ
A hard smack landed on Eddieâs arm.
âI donât know where the hell you heard that from, but I wouldnât even sleep with her if we were the last two people on Earth.â Steve sneered, nose sticking up with disgust.
Edide rubbed at the skin, he and Jonathan watched as Steve walked away, tugging his shirt off and beginning to make his way into the lake without another word. They knew it was inevitable, the hatred that was brewing in his bones for you, was just a ploy for something else â something you and him didnât see quite but everyone else did.
âTwenty they finally kiss?â Jonathan challenged, turning to him with an open hand.
Eddie cackled, smirking smugly.
âTwenty-five they end up hooking up tonight,â he added to the wager and to the lines that you and him would cross.
âDeal.â
You rolled your eyes, detaching yourself from Robin catching the sight of Steve inching his way into the lake. Soon after Jonathan and Eddie followed suit, running in like chickens with their heads cut off and splashing all of you with their boy-ness.
It frustrated you more than the way it should have made you angry â the way all your friends could seamlessly get along with him as if he wasn't the worst person you ever met. He even embraced Jonathan in a bromance hug as if at one point in their lives they didnât despise each other for the girl they both liked.
It was so⌠confusing?
You let them bask in the presence of Steve, knowing that while you didnât enjoy time with him, you would never try to rob the rest of your friends from it. Instead you went off on your own, going in just a bit deeper for some privacy as they lingered a few feet behind you.
âDonât go too far out!â Nancy called out to you knowing you werenât the best swimmer.
âI know, mom!â You singsonged, looking up at the sky and taking it all in â random cloud shapes and the birds that flocked above.
The camp ground was two hours out from Hawkins, tucked away in a nicer part of town, of course, Steve was the one who suggested the place. Nevertheless it was actually breathtaking, a nice contrast to the small town that you all came from which didnât have a lake that compared to this, just good oleâ Loverâs Lake and Sattler Quarry.
This would probably be your first and last time camping, so you were trying to make the most of it, not letting the little scuffle totally ruin your experience. You had wished you brought your polaroid along, wanting to snap photos of the view to remember it by but in hindsight it was better to live in the moment.
âLetâs play sharks and minnows!â Robin announced cheerfully, wanting to seize the moment and do something fun she remembered from childhood.
You didnât pay them any mind, your silence serving as an answer that youâd be sitting that game out and enjoying watching them instead.
Steve cupped his hands around his mouth, shouting loudly, âI call shark!â
They erupted in shrieks, splashing their way farthest from Steve, getting a head start since he was a skilled swimmer.Â
Eddie, who was a distance away yelled out, âReady, set, go!â
Steve didnât even bother mapping out everyone else, they werenât his prey, you were.
âBetter get moving, princess!â
Steve wore an irritatingly smug look, catching your eyes before he dove under the water and made his way towards you.
Your eyes widened, flaring your arms back as you attempted to doggy paddle away from him but it was obvious that he had the upper hand with his skill set. The tips of your toes started to slip from the ground, water pushed up to your collarbones as you still tried to get away from him without drowning.
It was futile trying to lose him, you didnât even dare to inch further back knowing by then the water would submerge you fully. Instead you opted to sweep the water against him the closer he got to you, though he was unaffected by it still swimming with ease.
âSteve, stop! Go away!â You shouted, kicking your legs trying to get him back.
âGotcha!â He grinned, popping his head out of the water to stand up straight and wrap his arms around your midsection
You pushed at his chest, trying to get away. âYou dickwad! I wasnât even playing!â
âToo bad!â He stuck his tongue out at you, gripping your skin just a tad tighter and hoisting your legs around his hips.
âSteve put me down, I swear to fuckingâŚoh my god!â You exclaimed, quickly moving your arms around his neck when you felt the woosh of water against your back when he moved you both deeper into the water.
You watched your friends over his shoulder become smaller and smaller, until they were little specks on the shore waving with shit eating grins on their faces knowing that Steve wouldnât actually do anything to hurt you.
Despite how disgusted you were being so close to him, you had no choice but to hang on for dear life. Steve gave you a bit of height with you over his hips, and had it not been for that, youâd be drowning by now.
âS-Steve, please I canât swim!â You begged, eyes finally daring to meet him and for once you werenât looking at him with such disgust but with desperation.
His face contorted with surprise, eyebrows raised and mouth held wide open before tugging up into a lopsided smirk.
âNever thought Iâd ever hear that word come out of your mouth⌠let me hear it one more time?â
His grip barely went slack as you whimpered, using your legs to jerk him back to you before you slapped his chest, fingers gripping his biceps under the water and letting your nails dig painfully into his skin.
âGet me back to the shallow! Right now!â You growled, watching as he winced a bit hissing in a sharp breath feeling the sting.
Seriously, if you were a better swimmer, youâd be out of his grasp by now and holding his head underwater until he floated like dead weight. He had the advantage over you, but youâd be damned if you didnât at least put up a fight.
âWhatâs the magic word?â He teased, exhaling as your nails eased out of his skin yet somehow you still held on to him not wanting to take a risk no matter how revolting he was.
âI. hate. you!â You screamed, starting to thrash around in his arms hoping that your struggle would annoy him so much that heâd bring you back to the shallow just so he wouldnât have to deal with you.
But instead, he loosened his grip again, using it against you because just as he suspected, you seized your movements immediately, looped your hands around his neck, clinging to him like a koala.
âStill waiting on that magic word.â He singsoned, not being too cruel this time around, wrapping his arms securely around your frame, not actually thinking heâd ever let you go.
You hoped your friends couldnât read your lips from there or else you wouldnât hear the end of it.
âPlease.â You gave in, whispering it against his neck.
The hair on the back of his neck stood tall, shivers creeping up his spine feeling a twinge of sympathy for you, but not too much to spare, when you cursed his name right after the fact. Satisfied, he spun around, guiding the two of you back to the bank where you were more comfortable.
Letting out a breath of relief, you relaxed your arms and slightly loosened your legs from around his waist, a little surprised at yourself for being able to stand his skin sticking to yours for so long. This was the most contact you and Steve had ever endured with each other. All of the previous encounters consisted of you smacking him and him chasing you with something gross like a dead roach.
âYou didnât think Iâd actually let you drown, did you?â Steve asked, looking down at you.
You rolled your eyes, staring up at him past your lashes. âI donât know, youâre quite the asshole so I thought so.â
He ran his tongue over the inside of his cheek, tsking disapprovingly.
âSuch a shame you think so lowly of me,â he said acting hurt as rolled your eyes yet again, âhereâs payback for earlier.â
His arms abruptly left your body, letting you actually slip out of his hold watching as you went down with a screech that quickly died. You shut your eyes tightly, arms pushing yourself up to the surface where you coughed roughly, his stupid laughter filling your ears when you came to.
âI still hate you!â
You huffed, splashing him once more before trudging towards your friends who watched with glee, thankful for the five minutes of free entertainment that didnât involve them.
Steve stood where he was, arms crossed, face dripping with lake water, but still wearing a wide smile, more than happy with his little stunt and the fact that he got your blood pressure rising. Something about riling you up, filled him up with a sort of satisfaction, yet he wouldnât ever admit that you were the only person who could get under his skin the same way he did you.
Surprisingly enough, he stayed away from you during the rest of the time in the lake. Instead, he bothered Eddie and Robin with his stupid ideas to race across the lake and find the biggest pebble to see who could skip it the farthest.
Thankfully for you, you got the bathe in the sunlight, enjoying conversation with Jonathan and Nancy who at first bothered you about the whole you in his arms thing, but eventually gave up when you gave them the death stare. You obviously were holding back something considering you never missed a beat to berate Steve, but this time around, you didnât even want to get into it â they wondered why?
As the sun slowly began to tumble, casting oranges and pinks in the sky, you felt your fingertips becoming overly pruney, cueing your desire to get out and get freshened up for the evening.
âIâm gonna go wash up.â You announced raising a hand over your forehead to block the light as you stared out at them in the water.
âWeâll be out in a bit!â Robin called through her laughter, continuing her fun in chasing Eddie and Jonathan around in the water with a stick she had found.
You carefully tiptoed through the rocks, making your way up to the camp ground. The tent wasnât half bad, and to your surprise Steve had actually followed through on his task of finishing it. Youâd guess that if he wasnât so intimidated by Nancy and her threats, he wouldnât even think about doing it, nevertheless at least now you could say Steve did something useful for you for once, even if it was against his will.
Your bag was already conveniently placed in your tent, so you grabbed your toiletries, a clean towel, and your change of clothes before you walked over to the communal bathrooms where the showers were also located. Thankfully it was just you and your friends on the grounds, so it was fairly clean and had more privacy than usual which was always nice.
You pulled the curtains to one of the stalls back, assessing the area before putting your things down on the shelf and hanging your towel on the railing, stepping in and pulling the curtains closed. Stripping off your swimwear, you wringed out the excess water and hung them on the adjacent wall letting them air dry for the time being.
Cranking the lever, the shower head spritzed alive, letting semi-warm water sprinkle across your skin, rinsing you free of the lake water. You hummed to yourself, raking your fingers through the knots and tangles of your hair, doing your best to get them out before rubbing the skin over your neck and chest.
âYou really should have picked the stall away from the sunlight.â
Steveâs voice echoed, halting his footsteps in the doorway as he stared at the figure behind the curtain, the only other person in here was you and he could definitely tell by your pedicured toes peeking under the gap of the shower.
Clenching your jaw, your hands stopped its movements over your body, turning your head over your shoulder as you were met with Steveâs shadow staring right on the other side. If you squinted hard enough you could make out the smirking features on his face, but to your obvious surprise all you could do was shriek.
âOh my god!â You shielded yourself with your arms as if that would help, seeing as though the curtain alone wasnât doing its job of saving you your dignity.
He held his hands up, gesturing his arm up and down at the curtain.
âRelax, I can only see your shadow because of the sun.â He explained nonchalantly, walking into the stall beside yours and switching the water on.
You swallowed, still not trusting him completely as you stepped forward, peeling back the curtain a bit to see if anyone else was coming that way.
âAre the rest of them coming? I need to save myself the embarrassment and move to another stall if they are.â You asked rapidly, really hoping that neither of your friends or any visitors would be greeted with your naked silhouette the second they stepped in there.
âTheyâre playing chicken in the lake so no, they wonât be coming any time soon.â He responded, sounding actually sincere for once, because while he enjoyed messing with you, he still respected your privacy enough to know setting you up like that wasnât cool.
See⌠there were boundaries between your hatred, probably ones so low the bar was on the floor...but they were boundaries.
âThank god.â You sighed, tugging the portion of the curtain closed and walking back into the stream of the water, squeezing some shampoo into your hands as you began lathering it through your scalp.
âBy the way, are your tits pierced or were you just excited to see me?â
Your eyes widened, a gasp leaving your mouth while your fingers stopped. His incessant laughter bounced off the walls and rang in your ears like the worst kind of pain, wishing you had taken your chances earlier and at least tried to drown him.
âYouâre such a pig!â You said, banging your hands on his side of the wall until his laughter died down scoffing.
He grunted, tapping your wall back harder. âLearn how to take a joke and stop getting your panties in a twist.â
âWhatâs a joke is that rumor about you being so largely endowed.â You began pretending to gag.
âI heard Stacy Burnham asked you if it was even in and when you said yes she was so disappointed.â You sassed sharply, hoping it would embarrass him enough to shut up.
âI didnât even hook up with Stacy Burnham!â He retorted ridiculously, knowing that rumor was so absurd and untrue.
You rolled your eyes and wished he could see you, âNot surprised, it probably didnât feel like much for you either when youâre packing less than three inches.â
Steve scoffed loudly, knowing that was definitely not true and it wasnât just his ego talking.Â
âOh trust me, you wouldnât even be able to take half of what Iâm packing.â
âA half inch? Yeah, cause Iâd be too busy crying with disappointment.â You faked sobbed, flipping him off though he couldnât even see you.Â
He didnât have a comeback, clearly not in the mood to argue about what he was packing because truly youâd only believe him if you saw it for yourself. And trust him, heâd burn himself alive before ever thinking about seeing you naked or letting you see him naked.
That was just totally out of the question⌠and like he told Eddie, it would never happen even if you both were the last people on Earth.
âLet me borrow some soap.â Steve muttered knocking on your wall, hand dangling above your stall waiting for you to pass it over.
âNo.â You chuckled, smacking his hand before you grabbed your body wash and rubbed it against your palms to create bubbles.
âWhy not?â He coaxed, not putting his hand back down into his stall as you sighed and went on about washing your body.
âYou tried to kill me earlier and let me drown.â You reminded him.
âAnd what would you call that little stunt back there when you tried to stab me to death?â He retorted.
You were quiet, rolling your eyes knowing that he wouldnât let this go any time soon, so in order to save both of your energies, you simply picked up the bottle of shampoo, thrusting it up into his hand as he chuckled to himself and grabbed it.
âSee! Sharing is caring, now, if you need to borrow some brains you know where to find me.â
âShut the fuck up.â You snapped, trying to enjoy the rest of your shower despite knowing that the only thing that separated you both was a wall.
You showered in complete silence, only Steve knocking on your wall to give you back the products, fingers tapping against his palm to silently ask you for the next. After a few minutes you had finished, finally shutting the water off as you dried down.
You slipped your legs through a fresh pair of underwear, letting it snap against your skin as you worked the fitted cami over your torso and then slipped on the shorts that you rolled over your hips to stop them from falling.
Whipping the curtain back, you didnât wait for Steve to finish, simply leaving him as you went back towards the tents to hang your still wet swimsuit over a tree branch and stuffing your things back into your bag.
After a few minutes he came out, walking over with his towel around his neck, sporting a loose t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.Â
âWell youâre definitely getting eaten alive by mosquitoes tonight.â He shook his head at your rookie mistake, laughing along with it.Â
You looked down at yourself, much of your skin left exposed for the same flies that badgered you earlier to feast upon.
âGive me a break, I didnât know there would be so many flies.â
He walked over to his stuff, plucking out the aerosol can and tossing it over to you, âHere.âÂ
You caught it, looking over the bottle label as he spoke, âItâs the only brand of bug spray that actually works.âÂ
âThanks.â You mumbled, twisting the bottle open and misting it over your arms and legs, letting the product coat every inch with a light sheen.
You tossed it back, working it into your skin as Steve took his turn to spray it on his exposed arms and neck knowing from experience that waking up to a hundred fly bites was the most uncomfortable itchy pain to be in.
âHow were the showers?â Eddie huffed, water dripped off his body as he made his way up to you both, the rest of them following behind.
âFine, just donât pick the stall directly at the entrance. Wouldnât want anyone getting an eye full.â
Steve smirked as you turned beet red, tucking your face into your chest and walking to your bag to pretend to search for something.
Nancy wrapped her arms around herself, biting back the cool air that was coming in from the day winding down.
âWhy donât you guys get started on the fire so that way we can have dinner soon.â
Sunset was just nearly finishing up, only about a half hour of sunlight left before darkness would set in. Steve knew from experience that keeping the fire overnight would be the best bet at having means to some light and warmth.
He nodded, looking around for the items to get it going, âYeah, sure, whereâs the charcoal?â
âCharcoal?â Jonthan asked, confused, scratching the temple of his head, not remembering seeing it when you were all loading Eddieâs van that morning.
Steve nodded his head obviously, looking around at the group. âFor the fire? I told you guys to pick it up.â
You sighed, standing up to face them with your hands on your hips. âDonât tell me you guys forgot it.âÂ
âAre we doomed if we say we did?â Eddie spoke, a guilty inflection in his voice, because he was totally in charge of that but it had slipped his mind.
Steve shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. âJust means that now we have to find some sticks and leaves. Do it the old fashioned way.â
Robin the ever so considerate one, starting snapping her fingers, pointing between you and Steve biting back her sneaky smile.
âSo stop standing around and start searching! We donât want to lose daylight before then.â
Taking a deep breath in you held back your comments of how you didnât want to go anywhere alone with Steve since he obviously had a death wish for you. However it was obvious that this was going to be a group effort, and if you wanted to make it out of here alive, you would just have to suck it up and follow Steveâs lead.
He stared down at your bare feet, pointing at your tent.
âPut some shoes on and letâs go.â He said, before the others smiled contently, running off to the showers and leaving you both alone again.
âThis is the last time Iâm ever camping.â You grumbled sliding on a fresh pair of socks and slipping your shoes on, bending to tie them up.
Steve tapped his foot against the grass, shaking his head at you and your ability to nit-pick every little thing.
âYou know, it would be more enjoyable if youâd stop making every minor inconvenience a big deal.â
You finished off the ties with a tug, walking over to him and glaring at his hypocrisy with an instance you were all too familiar with.
âAre you really one to be talking Mr. I got mad at Dustin Henderson for using up all my hairspray even when my date flaked on me?â
He hated that you remembered that even when it had been months ago since it happened. Neither you nor Dustin let him live it down because it was the first time he let a girl get in between his extraordinary ability to be the charming babysitter he made himself out to be. Dustin, so annoyed with his attitude, didnât ask Steve for any rides to the arcade nor did he visit him at Scoops for a whole two weeks.
Instead, you took on the babysitting role, driving him to the arcade, dropping him off to school, and even picking the kid up at Star Court when all his friends caught a ride with Steve to be dropped off back at their place. Steve thought Dustin was being ridiculous about the whole thing until you pulled up in your car, wearing the biggest smile as you rolled down your window and sent him a cold smirk.
âNot such a great babysitter anymore, huh?â You laughed, watching as his face fell and Dustin got into the passenger of your car, waving goodbye to his friends while you sped off.
Safe to say, Steve apologized to the kid, terribly sorry and embarrassed by his behavior and even throwing in a bottle of hairspray and a free banana split every time he came into Scoops as an apology gift.
The two of you followed the trail a few feet out from the campground, trucking through an uneven rocky path and outgrown bushes. He was clearly more familiar with the area given his experience, knowing exactly where to go, taking a shortcut that passed cut through the bumpy trail and led you to a small area of dirt and trees.
âWeâre looking for sticks about this size, but really any twig or stick will do.â He spoke, reaching down to pick up a large stick and show it to you.
You looked around, eyes peeled out for the sticks that were scattered in the area.
âAnd what about leaves?â you asked.
âThose too, but theyâve gotta be dry, almost crumbly.â He specified, walking off to start the collection process.
âGot it.â
You and Steve worked the best when there was no talking involved, perhaps that's why your friends always suggested going out to see a movie at the theaters instead of at each other's homes where you both would clearly not give a damn about causing a disturbance. But despite that, right then you both were going a whole ten minutes without insulting one another or making threats to see the other dead.
When you picked up the wrong stick of a leaf that wasnât crumbly enough, he just grunted, shaking his head until you dropped it and found another that would suffice. That system was working well so far, so maybe that was the key: limited talking.
âGo drop that pile off and come back for more, weâre gonna need a whole bunch to last until morning.â Steve instructed, noticing that you had already gathered quite a bit in your arms.
You peered into his arms, his pile about the same size as yours, maybe a little smaller.
âWant me to take some of yours?â You suggested, wanting to save you both a few more trips up there.
He nodded, carefully stacking them on top of what you already had, steadying the pile and removing the bigger ones to ensure it didnât tumble over while you were walking down. When you got all that you could carry, Steve gave you a cautious look.
âBe careful and walk slowly, the path gets rocky when you get closer to the camp. If you fall, just scream and Iâll hear you.â He was so serious about it, like a true camp counselor, or as you liked to call him...
âHeard you loud and clear, boy scout.â You hummed, turning around and making your way carefully down the trail.
For once you actually listened to what he said, taking your time and not rushing your way down knowing it wouldnât do you or him any good if you ended up taking a spill and losing all the fire starter then scratching yourself up in the process. You remembered the shortcut he took, a right turn that he conveniently marked with a X in the dirt. Just a little more walking before the campsite came back into view and still no signs of your friends being done yet.
You dumped the sticks and leaves near the outside of the fire pit that was in the center of the camp. Dusting your hands off and taking a deep breath, you looked back up the hilly trail where Steve was somewhere up there waiting for you to come back.
âCâmon, princess.â You muttered to yourself, feet taking you back there with fast steps trying to beat the sunlight.
Clearly the outdoors just wasnât your thing, easily becoming winded despite the fact that the trail wasnât that steep. But you were trying to cut yourself some slack because for a rookie, you kinda got the hang of keeping your balance and not getting lost through the unknown woods.
âH-how many more piles do we need? I canât do this five more times.â You huffed, hands on your hips as you caught your breath watching Steve dump a few more sticks in a pile on the ground.
He peered over at you, wiping the sweat that beaded on his forehead with the back of his hand.
âProbably one more, will do.â He answered, strolling further up, just to grab a bit more in case.
You honestly didnât know how a small town city boy like him was so good at things like this â usually he was only good at picking up girls and making a doofus out of himself when he didnât know how to talk about anything else beside him.Â
Maybe it was those annual Harrington trips he took when he was a little boy or maybe he really was secretly a boy scout and been hiding it all along, either way, thank god it was him doing most of the dirty work and not you.
âShould I bring these down or do you want me to wait?â You shouted loud enough for him to hear glancing over at the piles he made while you picked a few more sticks up.
âYou canâ fuck!â He winced, clutching his palm in his other hand, starting to feel a sharp pain shoot in around the area.Â
Hastily you dropped the sticks, abandoning the pile and racing to where he was while trying not to fall so that you could see what exactly was going on. There was a pained look on his face, teeth biting into his bottom lip as he turned away and tried to shake it off. But alas you reached for his wrist, bringing his hand towards you to access.
âShit, youâre bleeding.â You whispered, bringing the injured hand closer to see if the gash was deep or not, but you couldnât quite tell with the small pooling of blood in the way.
Steve jutted his chin downwards, showing you the jagged stone responsible.
âI didnât see it when I went for the stick.â He explained.Â
You nodded, releasing his wrist gently. âCâmon, we need to get it cleaned and bandaged before it gets infected.â
âI gotta grab theââ
âNo!â You yelped, pulling him up by the collar of his shirt when he attempted to bend down for more sticks despite his injury.
He stopped, visibly stunned at your sudden attentiveness that was usually never present when it came to him.
âIâll carry those, but you donât pick up or hold anything else. If a splinter gets in there Iâll be the one needing to dig it out and it'll only hurt more.â You said sternly, shaking your head at him like he should have known better.Â
âI thought you liked seeing me in pain.â Steve smirked somehow still able to be a little shit even with a fucked up hand.Â
âI do,â You tilted your head, but sighed, âBut I really donât need the one person who actually knows what theyâre doing to be the first one dead.â
âFine by me.â Steve shrugged, forced to watch you pick up all the sticks and leaves by yourself, he followed behind you as you occasionally looked behind your shoulder to see if he was okay.
When you both finally made it back to the tents, you dropped the pile, pointing at the foldable chairs a few feet from the pit.
âGo over there.â You instructed, brushing past him with vigor as you went to your tent to retrieve the first aid kit you packed for emergencies like this, though you were really hoping you didnât have to use it.
You flipped the case open, taking a look at all the materials it contained while you walked over to him, kneeling in front of him and deciding what you were going to do. Grabbing an alcohol wipe, you disinfected your hands before you tapped his knee.
âShow me.â You demanded, holding your hand out, until he reluctantly placed it in yours giving you a closer look at the gash.
The blood had stopped so you knew it wasnât that deep of a cut that would require stitches or staples, but it most definitely needed to be wrapped up to prevent an infection and trip to the emergency room.
You reached into the kit for a fresh alcohol pad, ripping it open with your teeth as you steadied his hand in yours.
âJust get it over with already.â He muttered, head turning away anticipating the sting that was going to be worse than your nails digging into him.
âDonât be a wimp.â You joked, swiping it gently over the area to get it clear from the drying blood and any outside contaminants. He didnât pull back, only sucking in a deep breath from the mild burn but after a few seconds the worst part was done.
âSee, not so bad, right, big boy?â You laughed, patting his knee again before throwing aside the bloodied napkin as he swallowed thickly, waiting for your next steps.
He watched you carefully, grabbing some sort of ointment, squeezing a small dollop onto your finger before you dabbed it over the cut making sure to coat it evenly. Then you placed two pieces of gauze over the top to keep it extra clean and enclosed.Â
You repositioned his arm, letting his elbow rest upright on his knee.
âIâm gonna tape you up now, so try not to get it wet, but if you do I can always rewrap it.â You told him, getting the tape ready.
Steve was surprised by your skill, expertly maneuvering the tape through his fingers, across his palm and over his wrist, repeating it a few times to ensure that the gauze wouldnât budge and would keep the cut sealed tight.
âWhereâd you learn how to do this?â He asked curiously, watching as you smoothed out the creases as you went.
You shrugged, doing one last wrap around for good measure, âI had a phase where I thought I wanted to be a nurse.â You grinned, teeth wrapping around the excess tape to rip it off before you flattened the remainder over his wrist.
He nodded slowly, stammering out,âT-thanks.â
âDonât mention it.â You brushed it off, cleaning up the bloody wipes and putting the first aid kit back in your bag after disinfecting your hands once more.Â
The sun was nearly covered by the clouds, painting the sky a darker orange shade as nightfall threatened to spill over soon. At this point, the fire needed to be started, now â no more distractions and no more arguing.
âSo?â You shot Steve a look, then back down at the fire pit, âWanna tell me what I need to do to get this thing started or what?â
Steve was more than capable of getting it done himself with one good hand, but seeing as though you were pretty stern in his efforts to not carry a single stick, not even a paper light leaf, he knew this would be no different. Instead he moved to stay beside you, acting as supervisor just so he could make sure you were doing the right thing.
âYouâre gonna wanna start by making a bed with the leaves.â He instructed, watching as you dropped down on your hands and knees to get low enough into the pit as you threw them in, trying your best to make it as leveled as possible.
âIt looks good,â He praised, giving you a tight smile when you looked up at him waiting for the next steps.
âYou want to do it the old fashioned way or do you want to use Eddieâs lighter?â He chuckled, knowing heâd pick the easy way just like you were going to.
âFuck that, Iâm not a cave woman, where the hell is the lighter?â You strided towards his and Eddieâs tent, rummaging through the metal heads duffle bag until you felt the familiar body of the lighter.
You went back into place, flicked it on and looked at Steve cautiously until he nodded, granting you permission to set the bed of leaves on fire. Blindlessly you passed the lighter up to him, watching as the flames slowly engulfed the leaves and began to crackle.
âNow start adding a few sticks. Weâre gonna need to add more throughout the night to feed the fire.â He said watching as you carefully threw some in, doing your best to cover the bed beneath it until only a little of the fire was exposed.
âAlright, thatâs good enough.â He bent down patting your shoulder and feeling the warmth of the fire starting to get hotter.
âWell that wasnât so hard.â You grinned to yourself dusting off your hands and knees, happy with your outdoor accomplishments thus far.
âTechnically the lighter made the fire.â He shot back, flicking it between you both as you rolled your eyes and blew the flame out.
âOh shut it.â You muttered, going to busy yourself with something else while Steve put the lighter back where it came from.
You propped open the rest of the chairs, randomly placing them around everyones tents and two extra ones right in front of the fire pit. Steve was watching the fire, making sure it didnât get too big or burned too slowly â so far the bed of leaves you built were holding up and it didnât seem like itâd be going out until morning tomorrow.
After a few minutes the voices of your friends came tumbling out of the bathrooms, seeing them all dressed in their PJâs that somehow showed they were more prepared than you. All of them decked out in long sleeves, hoodies, and sweatpants â god, you wished you got the memo.
âDamn this is cool! Iâve only ever seen a campfire in movies!â Eddie enthusiastically ran closer, peering into the bright orange pit.
You looked over at all of them, dramatically holding your arms wide open.
âWere you guys having a foursome or something?! Steve and I did all the work and he even got banged up in the process.â You said, walking over to him to lift and show them his injured hand.
Robin gasped, running up to his side to check up on him, obviously worried for her best friend, âWhat the heck happened.â
Steve shrugged looking over at you with a somewhat grateful look, âGrazed a sharp rock, but itâs fine. She wrapped it up and weâre all good to go now.â
âWell shit, sorry we took so long,â Jonathan apologized half-heartedly, while his mind was celebrating that you both actually seemed to work well together when it was needed.Â
âEddie and Robin thought they saw a spider in the showers so we all had to take turns using one stall.â Nancy rolled her eyes, giving you an apologetic look, the both of you knowing Robin and Eddie were a tad bit dramatic at times.
âItâs fine, but you can make it up to us by cooking.â You grinned, you and Steve giving each other a sly look before you pointed at the icebox of food waiting to be cooked.
So you and Steve finally got to kick back⌠in silence of course.
You both sat in the foldable chairs, watching as the four worked diligently over the fire â Nancy holding skewers of hot dogs over the flame, Robin prodding at the potatoes wrapped in foil with a pair of tongs, Jonathan toasting the hot dog buns one by one, and Eddie feeding the fire with a few more smaller sticks.
He peered over at your silent figure, watching the way you zoned off into your own world, somehow right beside him yet a world away. You were probably thinking about something else, either all the remarks you wanted to snap his way yet were held back or maybe you were making a list of new ones to call him tomorrow.Â
But he cleared his throat, attempting to get you back here with him, âDo you uhh, want a drink?â Steve asked, breaking the silence.
You blinked, turning to watch him flip open the cooler to grab himself a beer while he looked back at you waiting for your request.Â
âWater, please.â You said, watching as he dug his non injured hand into the ice box to pull you out an ice cold water bottle, shutting the box closed.
âThank you.â You said softly twisting it open to take a sip.
While doing so, you furrowed your brows, noticing the way that Steve struggled with the twist off since he was using his non-dominant hand. He almost went to put the bottle in his mouth to use his pearly whites as an opener before you quickly capped off your drink and stepped in.
âGive it here.â You said, taking the glass from his hand, and tucking the lid under your shirt to stop it from pinching your skin as you effortlessly twisted it open.
âThank you.â Steve nodded with a small smile, taking it from you as you shook your head with a grin and went back to watching your friends.
Steve couldnât wrap his head around how you could be so selfless but at the same time so selfish. Youâd do anything your friends asked of you at the drop of a hat, maybe even without them asking to begin with â youâd just jump in and do it. But when it came to him, half the time you didnât give a damn, ignoring every warning or piece of unwarranted advice heâd thrown your way.
It was utterly confusing, considering that you were the most selfless person to him today than youâd ever been before. You couldâve left him to deal with the cut by himself seeing as though he still had one good hand left, and honestly you couldâve left him to do the stick and leaf collecting all by himself⌠but you didnât.
On a regular day if he even dared to ask for your help, the answer would be âno,â with no explanation other than the fact that you just didnât want to have anything to do with him. So it struck a chord in his mind, wondering why now? It couldnât just be because you both were in the middle of nowhere, he knew that much.Â
Why all of a sudden was there this shift, the one where you helped him without receiving anything back?
âHow is the food coming along?â You whistled towards your friends.
Nancy smiled widely, holding one of the skewers up, âItâs almost done! Maybe two more minutes!â
Robin pouted, snapping the metal tongs to get your attention, âThe potatoes need a bit more time, theyâre still hard as rocks.â she huffed, resting her chin on her knees.
âDid you poke them with holes?â You wondered as she frowned and shook her head.
âWas I supposed to? I didnât know, Iâm sorry.â She apologized ridiculously for something that wasnât a big deal.
You shook your head shooting her a reassuring smile.
âSâokay! Theyâre gonna cook through, but sometimes poking holes just speeds it up a bit⌠It's okay! If anything, we can have them for breakfast.â
âOkie dokie!â She smiled, happy that she didnât entirely sit there for nothing.Â
He hated himself for watching you so carefully, taking notice of the bright smile you flashed against the moonlight and how your voice was so syrupy sweet. He never took notice of it before, but you had a radiance about you, something that everyone seemed to catch except him.
Maybe it was because half the time you were shooting daggers through him and screaming your lungs off, but now, for the first time, he felt like he was seeing a different side of you â the one he tried to fight off knowing for so long.
âAre you okay?â You furrowed your brows, waving your hand in front of Steveâs face.
He shook his head, snapping out of it and nodding awkwardly, âY-yeah, Iâm fine⌠you?â
âIâm okay.â You told him, turning your attention back to your friends.Â
Maybe it was your tiredness that was preventing you from being the bitch that you usually were to him or maybe you felt a little bad for him because of his injuries, but whatever it was filled the air with some sort of calmness that usually wasnât around when he was in your vicinity.
Really, on most days, if youâd caught Steve staring at you, which most times he wasnât unless it was full of revulsion, you would have snapped and told him to take a lap, but it was almost as if you could feel what his eyes were doing.
His gaze drinking you in slowly like the beer in his hands and trying to understand your craft. He didnât stare through you, nor at you, but to you⌠trying to get under your skin in a way he hadnât done before.
It feltâŚweird, so awkwardly weird. On a regular day the both of you could barely go two minutes without cursing each other out the second either of you spoke a word to each other. Now all of a sudden you both had your Pâs and Qâs ready for each other along with genuine concerns about the otherâs wellbeing?
God, you both couldnât wait for it to go back to normal.
âFoodâs ready!â Eddie called out, slicing through the unspoken tension.
You and Steve stood up, heading towards the food knowing you were both dying to have something in your systems after a long day. Beating him to it, you plated him a hot dog swiftly moving on as if the little gesture meant nothing.
âCondiments?â You asked, picking up the ketchup bottle, giving it a good shake before squeezing a dollop on your plate.
âHuh?â He asked confused, too wound up about your niceness.
âDo you want any condiments on your hot dog?â You clarified once more, raising your brow up at him.
He needed to stop reading into things so much.
âOh, y-yeahâ He nodded, watching as you squeezed some for him, âand mustard please,â he said, and you nodded, reaching for the yellow bottle and doing the same before you capped it off and left him in the dust when you went to sit with the girls.
Eddie snuck up from behind him, just nearly whispering into his ear lowly, âArenât you two being friendly for once?â
He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows when Steve looked back at him a bit startled. He rolled his eyes, walking over to the chairs near their tent and plopping down.
âSheâs pitying me because of my hand.â
âOr she just genuinely wants to help you out?â Jonathan chimed in taking a seat beside him.
Steve shook his head, picking up his food, âI doubt that. Sheâs probably gonna use this against me for the rest of eternity.â He replied before taking a bite.
âI donât think so man, I think she actually cares, and I think you like that she cares.â Eddie waved his finger in the air before poking at his cheek.
Steve snapped his teeth, pretending to bite the finger that Eddie quickly pulled away. Jonathan laughed at the banter because of course Eddie had to be the one to stir the pot when things were staring to cool and settle.
âShe doesnât give a damn about meâŚ.â
Steve started, trailing his eyes to where you were, watching you share whispers to the girls before you met his eyes for a split second.
âShe still hates my guts.â He said as you snapped your eyes back to Nancy and Robin.
âDid we miss something while you guys were gone?â Nancy raised her brows, glancing back at Steve and the boys who were engrossed in their own conversations whilst they ate.
You shook your head towards her, swallowing your food before speaking.
âNope, why do you say that?â You buzzed, wondering why all of a sudden she thought something had happened.
Robin chimed in swiftly, nudging your arm with a weak punch, shooting you a more than obvious look.
âCause you guys havenât tried to kill each other for the past hour and a half and you actually could stand to sit beside him without arguing.â
You tilted your head at her incredulously.
âI thought you guys wanted us to get along?â
âOh, we doâŚâ Nancy nodded enthusiastically, âweâre just wondering what made it happen considering you both tried to kill each other a few hours ago.â
Letting out a deep breath, you tried to give your best irritated look under your tiredness.
âWeâre just tired thatâs all. Weâve run out of insults and to be quite honest, I need to recharge my battery with some sleep before attempting to murder him tomorrow. Before you know it weâll be at each otherâs throats again.â You explained hoping they would drop it.
But of course they didnât.
âWould it kill you to, I donât know, be a little more positive on the outlook of you and Steveâs relationship.â Robin beamed hopefully.
You rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you glanced over at Steveâs figure.
âHe still hates me,â you said, meeting his orbs split, âI know it,â you muttered, tearing your eyes away.
Neither Nancy, nor Eddie, or Jonathan, and Robin didnât believe a goddamn word that came out of your mouths when it came to each other. Clearly things were starting to unfold and whatever it was that happened when they werenât around to see it was obviously just the catalyst.
So many things that went unspoken for way too long were lingering in the air and they all knew you needed the space to confront it.After a while of eating, Nancy dramatically yawned, gesturing her boyfriend over to her with wide eyes silently telling him to go along with what she was doing, without you or Steve taking notice.
âWeâre gonna head to bed now.â She announced, tiredly clinging to her boyfriend's side.
Jonathan nodded, wrapping his arms over her shoulders.
âYeah, weâll see you guys in the morning.â He said, the two of them beginning to get into their tents while calling out their goodnights to you all.
âWake us up if you need anything.â You called out as they both hummed and zipped up their tarp for the night.
You were going to turn in too, really you were more than tired, just needing a good night's rest so that youâd be ready to go in the morning. Throwing out your plate, you walked over to your tent to grab your toothbrush and other nighttime necessities.
âIâm gonna go brush my teeth.â You said, walking towards the bathrooms.
âWait up,â Steve called out, grabbing his own brush and jogging towards where you waited so you guys could go together.
Robin tilted her head towards your tent, as Eddie nodded, swiftly grabbing his lighter and pre rolls from his duffle bag and joining Robin inside the structure. That honestly wasnât a part of the plan, seeing as though he was going to keep the blunt to himself, but now it was just convenient and would make the perfect excuse.
Steve didnât bother to settle to the empty sink beside yours, instead he switched the water on letting you run your brush under the faucet first before he did his. You squeezed a strip of toothpaste over your bristles before doing the same to his guessing he forgot to pack his own which he totally did.
The both of you stood in front of the mirror, brushing in silence with the water trickling weakly. Your eyes drifted from his face to his hand that rested at his side stiffly. You knew it was probably still a little sore, but by tomorrow morning the pain should subside enough for him to move it a little more freely.Â
âDo you want me to rewrap your hand?â You offered, mouth still full of toothpaste as you spoke mumbly.Â
He met your eyes in the mirror, lifting his hand towards you, trusting your opinion rather than his own.Â
âWhat do you think?â
You stopped your brushing for just a second, leaving the brush between your cheek and teeth as you picked up his hand and gave it a good look to see if there was any oozing blood or loose tape â which there was neither.
Putting his arm down gently, you shook your head. âLooks fine, Iâll just clean it and change the gauze in the morning.â
âOkay.â He mumbled, smiling softly.
Steve let you rinse first, leaning up against the wall as he watched you spit out the residue and wipe your mouth clean. You stepped away, letting him have his go while you reached into your small toiletry bag, placing your brush back inside and twisting open your lip balm to smooth over your lips.
âWant some?â You raised your brow, seeing him watch you while he swigged some water in his mouth.
He spat, turning off the water and looking at the tube, âBirthday cake?â He questioned the flavor on the label.
âTastes like vanilla and strawberries.â You said as he shrugged, puckering his lips towards you as you applied a thin layer before capping it off and throwing it back into your bag.
He smacked his lips together, a bit of his tongue coming out to lick at it, âI canât taste it?â
âYouâre not actually supposed to eat it, Steve.â You chided, shaking your head as you both walked to the tents.
âThen why would they advertise it as birthday cake if I canât taste the cake?â He retorted, still trying to lick at his slimy lips to taste it.
You didnât want to get into with him over some stupid lip balm flavor so instead you held back, listening to his lips smacking, persistent on getting to try the artificial taste while you tried not to laugh. As you got closer to the tents, a different smell lingered in the air along with the smokey aroma of the fire.
âDo you smell that?â You sniffed the air, turning to Steve seeing him do the same.
He sniffled in a few times, deciphering the smell and after a few seconds, he knew exactly what it was, an unmistakable likeness to the back of Eddieâs van.
âItâs weed.â
You looked around, realizing the absence of Eddie and Robin who were just sitting near the campfire before you went to the bathroom. Now, you noticed your tent that was half unzipped was completely sealed and if you listened close enough you could hear the whispers being spoken from inside.
You stomped over to them, unzipping the tarp, pulling it roughly.
âAre you guys insane?â You hissed, tossing in your toiletry bag while staring at them in annoyance.
âInsanely hiiiigh.â Robin hiccuped with a giggle joined by Eddieâs snorts while he took another hit.
Steve peered in from behind you, his expression stern.Â
âYouâre not even supposed to bring that stuff onto the camp ground, youâre gonna get us kicked out, dumbass.â Steve scolded, ripping the joint from Eddie and putting it out against the ground.
âHey! That was a special strain!â Eddie argued, attempting to reach for it but Steve pulled it behind his back, not letting up.
âI donât care.â You said dryly, âyou need to get out and go to your tent so I can sleep.â
You attempted to pull him out by the arm but he didnât budge as easily as you thought he would.
âNo, wait! Ten more minutes!â Robin whined, smacking your arm away from her friend, âYou guys are letting all the good stuff out!âÂ
Zipping up the tent, you and Steve backed away defeatedly. You ran your hands through your hair, closing your eyes briefly trying not to let their little antics tick you off despite your exhaustion.Â
âTen minutes and Iâm counting!â You warned, thumping the top of the tent before you flopped down onto the chairs hoping time would fly faster.
Steve looked at you apologetically, holding back his joking comment about how it didnât matter that he built your tent, seeing as though you were locked out, but he didnât want to make you more irritated than you already were⌠surprising right?
âNight?â He said, shooting you a remorseful smile when he stopped in front of your chair.Â
âGoodnight, Steve.â You yawned, waving him off as you hugged yourself to bear the cold clad in nothing but your tank and shorts.
He nodded walking to his tent a few feet away, toeing off his shoes before giving you one last look until he zipped his tent closed. He reached for the small flashlight he packed, putting it on its lowest setting so that Eddie could see when he came in. Giving his pillow a pat, he laid back pulling his blanket over himself and attempting to close his eyes and rest.
Sleep should have come easy seeing as though he had been up since seven in the morning, yet he still couldnât fall into slumber no matter how hard he tried. He knew it wasnât the fact that he wasnât in his bedroom because heâd been camping times before and sleep naturally came easy but tonight it just wasnât budging.
He shifted uncomfortably, aware of the passing minutes that stretched beyond ten, and Eddie still hadn't joined him. He was totally sure he didnât even hear you give them another warning from the outside, meaning that you were definitely asleep on that chair.
Sitting up to peek through the small gap he left open, there you were â head tilted back, eyes closed, arms hugging your body, seemingly oblivious to the bitter cold that was going to leave you with hypothermia. If he was really feeling like being an asshole to you, he wouldâve left you out there to suffer the consequences of your actions, but he couldnât.
Quietly stepping outside, Steve approached, bending down to gently nudge you awake.
âPsttt, wake up," he whispered, cautious not to disturb Nancy and Jonathan nearby who were dead asleep by now.
You responded with a sleepy mumble, lips curling up as you somehow shifted deeper into the chair that was not designed to sleep in like that no matter how tired someone could be.
He tried again, this time more rigid in his efforts by grabbing your hand and squeezing it, âWake up.â
Feeling his toasty hand in yours, you groggily opened your eyes, dazed orbs looking into his.
âWhat?â You grumbled, eyes opening to be met with Steveâs filled with confusion.
Without much explaining, he squeezed your hand again, pulling you up, âYouâre crashing in my tent tonight.âÂ
You had no choice but to let him pull you along, stumbling behind him as sleep still clouded your senses.Â
âWhy?â You groaned, rubbing at your eyes while he guided you to his tent where he widened the tarp, gesturing for you to enter.
âBecause that special strain Eddie was talking about was for sleep. Neither of them are gonna budge till morning.â He informed you, resting a gentle hand on the small of your back to keep you up right as you lazily toed your shoes off.
âWell fuck me.â You muttered under your breath crouching when you stepped into the small space.
He snorted behind you, âIn your dreams.â He said before zipping it up.
âShut up,â you groaned, crawling towards the empty space beside him.
Now it was starting to feel like things were going back to normal.
You settled into what would have been Eddieâs side, a half fluffed pillow under your head and nothing else. Though their overall set up was way more comfortable than what you and Robin had going on in yours. Steve had layered a sleeping mat beneath the comforter, making the surface a little more plush that way no rocks or gravel could be felt under the tarp â plus it added an extra layer of warmth, something you desperately needed right now.
Laying on your back, you left a good distance between you both, wrapping your arms around yourself once again hoping that now youâd be able to sleep comfortably even if it was beside Steve. Closing your eyes, you focused on breathing trying to not think so hard about the shivers in your bones knowing you wouldnât be able to feel them once you fell asleep.
âI can hear your teeth clattering.â Steve sighed, casting a glance towards you where you laid beside him, starting to rub your hands up and down your arms in an attempt to generate warmth.
âI obviously wasnât prepared for this, and my blanket is in my tent.â You muttered, eyes still closed and tucking your knees into yourself to find some semblance of comfort.
He made a thoughtful noise, lifting up his blanket and turning his body towards you. You could feel the space tighten, the fuzzy material of his blanket skimming your bare skin.
âGet under here.â He whispered, nodding his head when you finally opened your eyes looking at him with uncertainty and confusion.
You didnât know what to make of it, if this was some kind of cruel joke he was playing on you, where he was actually going to hog it for himself and let you spend the rest of the night with your teeth clattering.Â
But deep down he wasnât all that bad, sure he poked fun at you and made your blood boil like no other, but when it came down to morals, he had some saved for you⌠at least for now it seemed like.Â
Steve raised his brow at your hesitance, lifting the blanket up higher.
âWhatâre you waiting for? Do you want to freeze to death because by all means let me know.â He challenged pretending as if he wouldnât care.Â
You swallowed thickly, turning your back towards him as you cautiously scooted under the blanket, feeling its comforting weight draped over your body. His fingers funneled you over more of the material, letting you have most of it as you quietly thanked him, tucking the throw under your neck where your fingers held it tight.
This was totally out of character coming from Steve knowing it wouldâve hurt his ego a lot less if heâd just given you the blanket for yourself and spent the night with no covering. But for some reason you couldnât place the gesture, not knowing why he would go out of his way for you or if this was some ulterior motive to hold against you in the future.
âI thought you wouldnât mind me dead.â You said, trying to find a way to ease the awkwardness that you felt in your mind when he was just inches behind you.Â
âI donât,â he laughed, his breath grazing the back of your neck. âBut I donât want to haul your frozen body in the back of Eddieâs van.â He added with a playful glint.
There was your old Steve, back.
âC-can we just go to bed?â You stuttered, clearing your throat as you rested your head deeper into the pillow just wanting to dream off somewhere, anywhere but right there in reality.Â
âSure.â He agreed, shifting slightly before settling down and closing his eyes.
Silence enveloped you both, just the sounds of crickets from the outside and gentle crackling of the fire that burned slow in the air.
Part of you wished he maybe would have left you out there to fend for yourself or maybe just threw his blanket over you for good measure, but somehow, being in here with him, tucked away from the rest of the world made you feel even more awake than before. It was obvious, neither of you were going to be falling asleep so easily, the tension so thick you could barely breathe through it.
Steve at least tried to fall asleep, focusing on something to dream about but you were overwhelming his senses making his nerves go into overdrive. Sure he already reeked of all of your products that he had borrowed in the shower, but now it was a combination of their scents attached to your skin and hair that was filling his nostrils. It didnât help that you unconsciously let out those soft noises, as your body shook, not fully taking in the warmth just yet.
Shifting slightly, your back unintentionally met his forearms that rested behind you. His eyes snapped open, feeling the coolness against his skin, shifting up slightly just enough to see your face.
âHow are you still freezing?â Steve yelped, pulling his arm back from your frosty skin.Â
You sighed heavily, repositioning your body to face him with a grunt, throwing all caution to the wind and not caring about how intimate this was. Both of you had already crossed so many lines that defined your hate fueled relationship⌠one more thing couldnât hurt.
âIâm a-always cold.â You whispered, jaw wobbling through the shivers taking deep breaths to try to relax yourself.Â
Steve raised his eyebrows and stared at you worriedly, âSo you dying is just inevitable tonight, thatâs what youâre saying?â
It came out a bit too sarcastic than he meant it to be since he was just genuinely curious to know if you were going to make it out alive tonight or if you needed to get into Eddieâs van and crank up the heater.Â
You rolled your eyes, whispering in frustration.
âI canât help it alright! Had I been in my tent, Iâd be fine!â
Steve brushed your irritation off, instead moving his arms under the blanket, hovering his hands over your waist.
âWell youâre not, so Iâm gonna swallow my pride and do something about it alright?â He said slowly letting his hands slide over your cold skin, watching as your face twisted with confusion.Â
âWhat are you⌠oh god.â You groaned realizing exactly where this was going â a mirror to earlier in the lake, but this time you werenât so disgusted.Â
He was practically a human furnace, pulling you closer into him barely leaving inches while the warmth from his body cascaded onto yours. You tried not to tense or move abruptly, aware that his bad hand was weakly grasping your back and the last thing you wanted was to make it worse.
Instead you froze, breathing stopped for a second as you searched his face trying to see how he was feeling about this whole thing. He didnât look displeased or annoyed that he was doing this for you, instead he was calm, cool, and collected as if he wasnât holding the girl who tried to stab him a few hours ago.
âDo you have a better idea?â Steve suggested, looking down at you awaiting to see your next moves: either telling him to fuck off or staying silent for the rest of the night.
To his surprise, you eased into his hold, hooking your own arms under his and closing the rest of the space between you. Your chest was pressed up against his, one of your legs fastened over his hip, while the other knocked against his thigh. It was a definite contrast to the hours earlier where he practically lugged you through the lake, if only you knew things would be so different now.
âWe are not to speak about this after tonight. Not even a peep.â You warned, squirming impossibly closer to him before shooting him a serious look.
He nodded, eyes shutting tightly like he was trying to dream it away.
âIâm erasing this from my memory as we speak.â
âGoodnight.â You whispered, closing your eyes, hoping that would be the end of it.
âNight.â He muttered back.
Third times a charm⌠or maybe not.
In this position you could feel everything and there was no way to escape it.
His warm breath fanning over your face, his chest rising and falling against yours, the soft thumpthump of his heart echoing beneath your ear, and the hair on his arms delicately brushing against your exposed skin â everything was him wrapped up in your arms. Literally.
Steve could feel it, the way you tried to control your breathing by taking a breath in when he breathed out. But you were trying too hard to time it perfectly, overthinking and making sure he didnât notice when itâs all he could really do, your back heaving against his hands was all it took for him to speak up.
âRelax,â Steve murmured gingerly digging his fingertips into your skin with his eyes still closed
âH-huh?â You opened your eyes watching his serene features that showed he wasnât as edgy as you.
âI can feel youâŚâ He started, voice low and silky as he spoke, âyouâre nervous.â
You shook your head as if he could see you, swallowing the lump in your throat.
âIâŚIâm not nervous, itâs justâthis is different, we donât do this.â You explained only partially truthfully considering you were more than just nervous.
âItâs just for tonight.â He said trying to iron out your worries the best that he could.
âNo, I know, itâs just thatââ
âI can feel your eyes on me, you know?â
Steve chuckled, peeking one of his eyes open, catching you in the act of trying to pinch them closed before he noticed.
You crumbled, letting out a weak laugh as you just opened them, finding him doing the same. The two of you staring at each other, the only sliver of light from the small beam in the corner of the tent, accompanied with the moonlight seeping weakly past the tarp.
Steve lifted his head just a bit, gesturing back to his bag just a few feet away from where you both were in the middle of the area.Â
âDo you just want to take the blanket? I have a hoodie I can use in myââ His arms ever so slightly loosed and you stopped him.
Your fingertips squeezed tenderly into back, your leg pushing down on his hip to stop him from moving any further.
âNo, its fine, this is fine. I donât mind sharing.â
âYou sure?â He laughed quietly, resting his head back down on the pillow.
âCause you donât have to pretend you want to share? We hate each other so Iâm very familiar with our dislike when weâre forced to be around one another.â He reminded you, his tone light hearted not exuding any malice this time around.
You swallowed, nodding your head reassuringly as you let up your tense hold on him.
âI knowâŚI-I still hate you, but I can deal with this for one night.â
âAnd youâre okay with this? Us⌠cuddling?â He asked, just wanting to be extra sure because cuddling didnât have to be a part of it if you didnât want it.Â
âPositive.â You hummed, giving him one last look before you fluttered your eyes closed.
âOkay⌠good, good.â He hushed, nodding more so to himself content that you seemed to relax a bit more.
He shouldâve closed eyes and went off to sleep, but now it seemed like all he wanted to do was watch you. Make sure that you were comfortable enough in his arms and warm enough to brave the night until morning and then youâd never have to be this close to him again.
He never took his eyes off your face, taking all of you in at once â long lashes kissing the skin under your eyes, cheek cozily pressed into the fluff of the pillow, lips relaxing in a straight smile and under his touch your breathing was stable, synchronized with his. He couldnât believe he was holding you right now, getting the chance to see you like this â it was his biggest privilege.
You could feel his eyes, he obviously sucked at taking his own advice and he was clearly proving your point that he was a hypocrite⌠but you already knew that.Â
You knew a lot of things about Steve, mostly all of the bad and annoying parts about him, but you also knew the good parts. The ones you blocked off and stored way back in your head because you never wanted to associate them with him.Â
The fact that he wasnât all that bad under those preppy button ups and head of hair.
He loved your friends, just as much as you did, treated them with kindness and savored every moment he spent with them. He knew how to take care of six rascals all by himself while also being the one they ran to when it came to all their teenage problems. He never showed up empty handed to any hangouts, always doing his best to bring anything whether it was a plain bag of chips or the camping equipment he had hidden in his garage.
Steve knew how to push your buttons, and perhaps that was the very thing that frustrated you the most â the realization that he had an undeniable effect on you. And at the same time, it was the very thing you were terrified of knowing â that if things would have been different, maybe the irritation you both had felt for each other could have just been affection from the get go.
The thick and imposing walls of animosity youâd built up for each other, was just a defensive mechanism. A weak hollow barrier that tried to disguise what you really felt, something so strong that only now broke through the bounds and unleashed a flood of emotions.
What was one more line crossed, when you both already jumped bridges?
âSteve?â You called out to him, hoping he wasnât pretending to be asleep.
âYeah?â His reply came swiftly, and his eyes flickered to watch your lips form the next set of words.
âYou still hate me right?â You suspected, running your tongue over the bottom of your lip as you waited.
He nodded his head obviously though you couldnât see him.
âY-yeah. Why?â He furrowed his brows puzzled by the sudden question.
âWhat do you hate about me?â You pressed on.
A deep breath fanned across your face, followed by the tsking of his tongue, âI donât think we shouldââ
âTell me, Steve⌠please?â Your hands pressed firmly against his back, a silent plea echoing through the touch, not because you wanted to hear the words coming from him, but because you needed them.
He swallowed thickly, watching as you waited with your brows raised up yet eyes still closed. He didnât understand why you wanted this from him all of the sudden. Why now when all his mind could do was fill up with the parts of you that he wanted to forget? The parts of you he silently spent hyperfixating on because you thought more about the people around you rather than yourself and he wished he could be half the person you were.
He liked to joke that you were his competition, his rival of sorts, but in actuality, he could never measure up to your level of compassion and he was more than fine with that. Settling for watching on the sidelines with a convincing snarkiness on his face, while on the inside his bones weakened and his brain went haywire wondering how you could ever exist in the same lifetime as him.
There was nothing he truly hated about you, he didnât think there ever could be.
Mindlessly his fingers moved along your back, rubbing small circles and sweeping across your soft skin before he cleared his throat from the roughness and finally spoke into the millimeters between you.
âI umm, I hate the way you never forget about something I did.â He started, mind wandering to the afternoon where you reminded him of such instances with Dustin.Â
âHmmm.â You hummed, nodding your head along and relaxing your features now that he was working with you.
âI hate the way you always remind me to slow down when Iâm driving around with the kids.â He admitted, guiltily confessing to his occasional speeding when they were running late and so was he.
You grunted, snickering weakly, âI need them all in one piece.âÂ
He agreed, a faint smile tugging at his lips, acknowledging your concern.
His fingers stalled against your back, taking a sharp breath in, letting the words rest on the tip of his tongue whilst he gave himself a moment. A moment to take you in, to see you as such, to give himself a little longer with the mystery hanging in the air wondering if you could feel what he felt and understand what he was about to say.
âAnd I hate the way you look at everyone except me.â He said it so quietly that if you werenât listening close enough you would have missed it.
But how could you ever let something like that float away so easily?
You flickered your eyes open, looking up at him past your lashes, staring into his orbs for all he was worth. Like he was the only thing to ever exist before your eyes and all you wanted to do was memorize him.Â
âLike what?â You whispered, never breaking eye contact.
âLike thisâŚâ He proclaimed, pulling his injured hand away from your back and bringing it forward to cradle your face ever so gently.
His thumb traced your cheek, your breath catching in your throat, letting him gaze at you in a way he never had before. It was concerning how quickly you established that from this moment on, Steve was the only person who would ever have the privilege of seeing like this. Stripped down in the confines of a stupid tent, that somehow felt like its own little oasis away from the rest of the scary world right outside.
It was just you and him and your own world.
âYou look at everyone with these eyes, so eager and happy.â He said, trailing down to the corner of your lips, brushing his thumb across delicate skin.
âYou smile at them like theyâre everything to you.â he said, nearly letting his hand slip away as if he was unworthy of such a feeling.
But before he could, you brought your hands up, wrapping gently around his wrists to keep him there like your life depended on it. Wanting nothing more than to show him that he could â he was willing and able, and had all the permission from you to stay here, as long as you could get him to.
âI hate that you donât look at me like that.â He swallowed, shaking his head more so himself, because all he ever wanted was this and for so long he pushed it away.
âI am right now.â You finally spoke, almost breathlessly, trying to reassure his anxieties about the past, the same ones you were feeling.Â
âHate that it took this long.â He confessed with a weak laugh.
You smiled half apologetically. âMe too.â
It was all the confirmation you both needed.
No more lines.
No more bridges burnt.
Nothing keeping you both from the truth.
He had bit the bullet and you had jumped into the deep end and there was no going back from here. Time wasnât stopping for either of you despite the intensity of the moment. There was clearly a beginning, you and him having a rough one, but that didnât mean that your ending had to be so treacherous.Â
The gentle gesture of him pushing the strands of hair that fell over your face, sent shivers down your spine, a sort of electric touch that should have had you running away but all you felt was the need for more. He didnât miss the way your eyes shot down to his lips, staring at them wondering his next moves before you met his again.Â
âIâm gonna kiss you now, if thatâs okay.â He whispered the words ever so quietly, leaving them to linger in the space as a delicate invitation hoping it was one youâd accept.Â
âMore than okay.â You nodded, closing your eyes, feeling his face inch closer to yours.
The first touch of his lips upon yours felt like sparks flying, holy ground beneath you both as you took your time, exploring everything in between â what you imagined it would be like and the unexpected that had you both going down the twists and turns just trying to familiarize yourself with each other. Â
His lips moved against yours unhurried, gentle but deliberate, not daring to miss even an inch of you. You felt as if he was taking your breath away, leaving you to succumb to a sort of poise that usually never came this easily. With every press and swipe across your lips, you were jumping and falling into somewhere you never wanted to leave.Â
You nearly wanted to cry when he pulled away, leaving you only to catch your breath, his chest moving up and down deeply, while you were ready to go again and again andâ
âW-was that okay?â He asked, fighting the urge to kiss you again and make you go dizzy.Â
You smiled like an idiot, lips blushing with a pink as bright as your cheeks.
âPerfect. Can we do it again.â
âYeah.â He beamed, moving to hover up on his elbows with his face above yours, giving you the access to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into you.Â
The second kiss was filled with hunger, the both of you trying to make up for the lost time you had spent at each other's throats when you could've been glued to each other's mouths. But you were positive you would both be able to make up for it eventually, and tonight felt like it was going to be the first of many.Â
His teeth barely grazed over your bottom lip, prompting a moan to rip through your throat before you pulled away breathlessly.Â
âIâI want you.â You spoke, voice full teetering between desperation and confidence.Â
Steve wasnât expecting it at all despite the circumstances that just took place with the kiss. Heâd be fine if all you wanted to do was spend the rest of the night making out like depraved teenagers or if you wanted to cuddle until you fell asleep.Â
He swallowed, looking into your eyes searching for any hesitancy on your features but you were positive that there wasnât anything you wanted more than Steve.
âAre you sure?â He implored, desperately wanting to hear the words fall from your lips.Â
âWith everything inside of me.â You nodded with a smile bringing your lips back to his once more, not being able to help yourself.Â
You could feel his grin against yours, a self indulgent one that still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he was kissing you with every fiber of his being hoping that with each press and slide it would compensate for how much of an asshole heâd been to you.Â
He moved his lips, creating a trail of kisses over your jaw and down your neck, gently sucking the skin to pepper you in love bites.Â
âP-please, Steve,â You moaned, moving your head to give him more access to the sweet spot on your neck, âNeed more.âÂ
He licked over the hickey, pressing a quick kiss to the developing bruise before he unwrapped your arms from his neck, placing them on your sides. Nudging your shoulder a bit, you laid fully on your back while he moved onto his knees, staring at you with a look so promising and true. Â
âYou donât have to beg, at least not for tonight. I swear.â
His fingers smoothed over your sides feeling the warmth coming to you quicker now.Â
âI want youâŚso so bad.â You pouted, reaching for his hands to intertwine in yours.Â
âYou have me.â
He brought yours up, placing a chaste kiss on the back of your hand before he let go and hovered above the waistband of your shorts.
âCan I?â
You nodded, lifting your hips slightly as he glided them off your legs, stripping away one layer of clothing yet revealing another â a black, lacy, number that definitely wasnât planned for tonight, but he wasnât complaining, in fact he found it a little humorous taking into the account the occasion.Â
âYou packed a thong for camping?â
Steve snorted lightly, kissing the inside of your thigh as you blushed, tucking your cheek into your shoulder.
âIâŚI was rushing and packed it accidentally.â You told him, silently thanking the universe and your horrible planning that somehow got this perfectly.Â
âLucky me.â He rasped, toying with the lace around your hip bone, peppering kisses across your thighs, not making any move to strip you free of them yet as he wanted to worship all of you first.Â
You sat up slightly, running your hand over his covered shoulder blade.
âC-could you take your shirt off?â
 âCourse I can.â He nodded quickly, sitting up just enough to work his arms through the shirt.
The garment was quickly pulled off his body, thrown off the side wherever he had flung your shorts.Â
âI can take mine off, tooââ You started, moving up a bit more as you pulled at the bottom of your cami but before you could get any farther, he stopped you, squeezing your wrist gently.
âOnly if you want to, sâokay if you donât.â He assured you, wanting to know this was all about you being comfortable.
You smiled warmly and shook your head at his politeness, still trying to take all of him in, not just for the body before you, but for how attentive he had been towards you.Â
âNo, I do⌠I justâjust wanted to feel more of you, thatâs why I asked.â You explained with a light laugh.Â
âYouâre cute.â He chuckled, rubbing his hands up and down your thighs as you pulled the material over your head discarding it.
Absentmindedly your arms wrapped around yourself, bashfully trying to hide away as if that would make Steve forget that you were topless in front of him. Finally he got to see what the slivers of skin that was hidden away beneath clothing or in this case, made an appearance just hours ago.
âDonât hide. Youâre so beautiful.â Steve spoke softly, reassuring you of whatever nervousness you were feeling, slowly lowering your arms down letting him see you completely.Â
You could see and hear it in the way his breath hitched in his throat, eyes stuck on your chest before a smirk played on his features and he finally trailed them back up to your eyes.Â
âSo youâre always excited to see me, then?â He teased, reaching up to run his hands along your ribcage, feeling your laughter rumble beneath his skin.
âShut up.â You chided, pushing playfully at his shoulder.Â
âYou got just the thing for me to do just that.â He tilted his head down and you nodded, giving him the green light to do what he pleased.
His lips wrapped around your sensitive skin, peak hardening in this mouth while the other was met with the flick and roll of his fingers. You were sure by the end of it, your chest would be littered with love bites of all shapes and sizes. Steve made the extra effort to glide across your chest, showing both breasts the attention they so rightfully deserved with his mark left behind.Â
âMmm, S-steve.â You moaned, arching up into him and nails grazing at the nape of his neck.Â
âGotta make up for lost time.â He mumbled against your, sucking another hickey but this time right above your sternum, completing the other half to make a lopsided heart that youâd see in the morning.Â
âI want more.â You begged, finally getting the courage to pull him away, eyes peering down at him.Â
He smacked his lips, nodding as he leaned up and pecked your lips, murmuring against them.
âI got you, princess.â
His kisses trailed down your body, taking his sweet time leaving your skin with a plethora of hickies, some small and subtle, and others that would settle darker by morning. Something about it, the possessiveness of it all added to the longing, knowing he was marking you as his â and he was the only person you wanted to belong to right now⌠forever even.Â
Placing a final kiss above the waistband of your intimates, he looked up at you, toying with the fabric.Â
âLet me get these off you, yeah?â
You hummed, letting your feet sit flat on the comforter, slightly lifting your hips up to help him. His fingers slipped under the lace, tugging them away from your core and off your legs, putting them off to the side.Â
âSo fucking pretty.â He murmured, gently pulling your knees wider apart enough for him to slot himself between them and lay on his stomach.Â
His eyes were fixated on your core, taking you in with such hunger but at the same time awe, as if he was admiring the most beautiful work of art just before he would dig his claws into it. No ones had ever looked at you like that, taking their time and drinking you in, it almost made you want to shoo him away with all the attention he was giving you.Â
âSteveeee.â You whined, laughing behind your hands that covered your face.Â
âWhyâre you hiding?â He puffed out a short laugh, splaying his hands over your stomach rubbing gently.Â
You pulled fingers apart, staring at him timidly. âIâI donât know, I just never thought that weâd⌠you know.â
Stop pretending like we hated each other and confessed our feeling then deciding to fuck in a dingy tent in the middle of nowhere? Yeah he totally knew what you meant.Â
âI know what you mean,â He placed a reassuring kiss on the inside of your knee.
âWe can stop whenever you want okay? No questions asked, you say the word and Iâll stop and weâll put our clothes back on andââ
âI donât want to stop. Promise, just a little nervous.â You assured him, sitting up slightly to bring your hand to his cheek, thumbing the freckles peppering his skin.Â
âDonât be, Iâm gonna make you feel so good. I promise.â He smiled, leaning into your touch and kissing the pulse point on your wrist.Â
Steve nodded, silently telling you to lie back and let him fulfill his promise which you were sure he was going to over deliver on. And god were you right.Â
His tongue swiped between your folds, shuddering beneath him you couldnât help pinch your eyes closed trying to bottle up the feeling and keep it in your memory forever.Â
âF-fuck,â You moaned, relished in the feeling of each pass and kiss, âFeels so good, Steve.â
His thumb swiped over your clit, breath fanning over your skin as he watched your back arch with a smirk on his face.
âTold you so, princess.â
He dove back in, tongue flicking over your sensitive button while he worked two fingers into you slowly. The stretch of his thick digits and the mixture of his warm tongue sent your hands flying, in search of something to grab and immediately you went for Steveâs hand.Â
Somehow through the pleasure you didnât feel the tape on his hand, that is until you squeezed and felt the layer blocking the contact of skin on his. The tape slightly crumpled in your hold causing your eyes to fly open, staring down at him.Â
âS-shit, Iâm so sorry!â You whispered, quickly letting go of his hand nearly backing away from Steve thinking that you hurt him.
His fingers abruptly left your core, quickly slinging his arm over your hips stopping you from moving away from him. The bad hand immediately reached out for yours, intertwining your fingers together despite your uncertainty that didnât want to immediately hook between his.Â
âSâokay, Iâm okay, promise.â He assured you, kissing your mound before shooting you a wink as he squeezed yours.
âYou can grab my hand, squeeze as tight as you want. The nurse who wrapped it up did a hell of a job, thing isnât gonna hurt me.â
It made you giggle, kissing his knuckles, murmuring against them, âHmm, still, Iâm sorry.â
He shook his head, lips brushing against your center as he got back to work.
âShhh itâs okay.â
Steve was always more of a giver, something he usually bragged about and you thought was absolute bullshit, but now you understood seeing as though he was definitely giving you something to come back for, in more ways than one.Â
His tongue dipped lower, dragged up from your aching hole to your sensitive clit.
âYou like that?â his voice vibrated across your sensitive skin, sending your body into squirms.Â
âYesâŚp-please, right there,â You moaned, gripping his hand tightly as he repeated the action. âJust like that, baby.â
âSay it again.â He demanded though it more so came out as a desperate plea.Â
âBaby?âÂ
He let out a groan, nipping at the inside of your thigh, âI love hearing it from youâŚcâmon, let me get you there, baby.â
It was the end of the beginning from then on out with one goal in his head. Feasting on you like you were his last meal trying to savor your sweetness and all at once engrain the image of your blissful face in his mind and those addicting moans that dared to get louder with every second that passed.Â
âIâm so close.â You whispered, trying to keep your voice down, âIâI, Steve, baby, please.âÂ
Your thighs began shaking around his head, stomach heaving in deeper and twisting tightly, teeth digging into your lip trying to muffle the sounds of pleasure that wanted to escape, and your hand clutching onto his for dear life â the only thing grounding you while his mouth sent you into ecstasy.Â
âCum for me.â He vibrated against you, lips wrapped around your bud as he sucked and watched you explode.Â
âBaby, f-fuck.â You gasped, looking down to meet his eyes before it was too much for you to handle.Â
Euphoria washed over you, similarly to the colors of the sunset. Bright oranges and pinks flashed across your vision, painting your skin with the feverish warmth before it fizzled out into darkness, specks of white making their appearance as your body buzzed.
Steve didnât pull away until you stopped moving your hips into and away from him, trying to chase and escape the pleasure all at once until you came down. Even then he didnât dare to leave you just yet, taking his time to wait until you came down from your high. He pressed gentle kisses over your inner thighs, making his way up to your midsection, resting his chin there, your chest moving beneath him as you caught your breath.Â
âHey pretty.â He murmured, your eyes peeking open to see him â lips and chin coated with a sheen of you in the best way possible.Â
You swallowed, giving his hand three squeezes and you cleared your throat from the hoarseness, âH-hi Stevie.â
Stevie. It was a stupid nickname you used against him all the time because he hated it, but right now it seemed to have the same effect on him as you calling him baby just a little while ago.Â
Using his elbows as leverage, he scooted up to you chuckling as you pulled him down bringing his lips to yours as you tasted your essences on him. Your legs hiked up around his hips, bringing his clothed crotch down to your core, just a piece of fabric separating you both, but even then the tent in his pants wasnât hard to pick up on.Â
âLay down for me, please.â You mumbled against his lips, poorly attempting to roll him on his back despite his sheer strength.Â
He pulled away only slightly, furrowing his brows at you. âBaby, baby, we donât have to if youââ
âI want to, so bad,â You pressed your hips up into him, inducing a moan to rip from his mouth, though still he didnât roll over just yet.Â
You frowned, loosening your legs, hoping you didnât cross the line, âDo you not want to?â
Quickly he shook his head, moving to hold your face in his hands. âI do, sweetheart, you donât know how badly I want to have you. But I kinda feel horrible here,â He grimaced, face twisting with embarrassment.Â
âW-was hoping to have our first time together in a bed, preferably mine but yours could work too, butââ
âWait!â You cut him off with surprise, lips curling up.
âYou thought about this?â You suspected with a grin, teasing him with a poke on the cheek.
He tried to play it off with an unconvincing scoff that didnât cover the croak in his voice, âM-maybe?âÂ
You beamed, running your thumb along his bottom lip, batting your eyes up at him. âWell if youâre okay with it, we can totally use your bed the next time, and the next, and then theââ
âOf course.â He agreed quickly, making you laugh as you pushed his chest away
âLay down for me, baby.â
He did as you said, taking your spot as you sat up on your knees pulling at the waistband of his sweats, working them off his ankles. His cock sprung up, the tip blushing with a bright read, aching and throbbing to be inside of you.Â
âCommando? And you want to call me naughty?â You teased, licking the palm of your hand and wrapping it around his length, pumping slowly.Â
He let out a shaky laugh, cursing at himself, âKinda was regretting it earlier.âÂ
âWhyâs that?â You began shifting to lay flat on your stomach.Â
âWas worried youâd notice.â He mumbled.Â
His hands reach out to run up and down your back, soothing your skin desperately wanting to touch you despite the closeness already.Â
âNotice what?â You hummed gazing up at him.Â
âHow hard I got when y-you wrapped me up.â He admitted, shuddering when you licked a stripe from the base to his glistening tip.Â
âMe serving you do it for you?â You half-joked, pepping kisses back down.Â
âFuck no, that wasnât itâŚâ He shook his head, sitting up slightly to watch you.Â
âYou justâf-fuck, you knew what you were doing and you took control and youâŚyou fucking called me big boy and t-the way you bit the tape off.â
Clearly you wounded him up so much, something you never thought was capable, but alas the hate you both supposedly shared for each other had no bounds when it came to this sort of tension.Â
âMake a mess for me big boy, and Iâll clean it up, yeah?â You winked, finally giving him what he wanted, wrapping your mouth around him.Â
âS-shit, baby.â He hissed moving your hair towards one side to see you clearly.Â
âMaking me feel so good, princess.â His hips resisted the want to thrust up into your mouth, controlling himself knowing that good things always took time and you were already making him feel great.Â
âSo big.â You murmured, messily kissing the tip of his cock, giggling at the way his hips stuttered up knocking closer to your lips.Â
âJust right for you though right? Only yours baby.â He groaned, throwing his head back onto the pillows.Â
âMhmm,â you hummed, wrapping your lips around the tip, sending vibrations up his sensitive length.
âPretty too.â You whispered, pulling away teasingly.Â
He let out a hoarse laugh, shaking his head ridiculously. âCanât be when Iâve got the prettiest sight right here.â
The compliment went straight to your core, the need to make him feel good was the motivation in your movements. Your wrist moved over the part that you couldnât quite fit in your mouth.Â
âThat's it baby, taking me so well,â He praised lowly trying to keep his voice quiet enough for just you to hear.Â
His fingers threaded through the roots of your hair, neither pulling or pushing, just holding you there and letting you go at your own pace.Â
âShit, babe, yâgotta stop.â He hissed, tugging you off his length as you moaned, pouting up at him.
âWant to taste youâŚplease Stevie?â You begged, mouth trailing down to his heavy sack, taking one of them in your mouth, before popping off only to mumble against them, âLet me taste you, please baby.âÂ
How was he going to deny you, then?
âF-fucking shit, yeah, okay doll, Iâll give it to you.â He moaned, nodding more so at himself, trying to starve off the orgasm as long as he could knowing he was going to burst any second now.Â
You grinned, releasing his balls with a pop, quickly taking him into your mouth again.Â
âIâm c-cumming, fuckââÂ
He let the rest die in his throat, knowing that if he went any longer heâd wake up your friends and cause an even bigger mess that he nor you wanted to clean up right now.Â
âHow was that?â You grinned, swiping your thumbs over the inner corners of your mouth, sucking off the remnants of him.Â
The act alone made his cock twitch, somehow springing back up ready for you.Â
âCâmere, you minx.â He whispered with a smirk, threading his hands towards the back of your head to gently tug you up to his face.Â
âHmmm, Steve.â You giggled, letting it get cut short with his lips pressing deeply onto yours.
âYouâre making it very hard for me to hate you.â He accused, pulling away from you with a playful smirk.Â
âYou or your dick?â You wiggled your brows, eyes lowering between the both of you where his hardness rested against his thigh.Â
âIâm kidding⌠about the me hating you thing, not you making me hard.â He clarified, holding your chin between his forefingers.Â
It was clear that the both of you couldnât really hate each other.Â
âYou wanna be on top? I think itâll be easier for you to control it at your pace.â He suggested, giving your hips a squeeze before letting his hands roam across your bottom.Â
âOkay.â You whispered, forehead resting against his as he snuck a hand between you both, pumping his length one, two, three times before slowly lowering yourself on him.Â
Taking in a deep breath, your eyes pinched closed, a gasp leaving your mouth feeling his breach your walls.Â
âSâokay, baby, take your time.â He murmured, kissing the tip of your noses while his hands rubbed comforting circles over your hip.Â
âY-youâre so deep already.â You whined, chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath, overwhelmed by the stretch.Â
His bottom lip jutted out, pouting at you with his eyes so soft, though his mouth spoke a tune so condescending and downright filthy.
âAww baby, I know, but youâre taking it so well right?â He went a step further, resting his palm over your cheek, prompting you to look him in the eyes as you nodded quickly, wanting nothing more than to feel all of him.
Your fingers wrapped around his wrist, pulling it away from your cheek, âTouch me, please? I-I just need a littleââÂ
He understood immediately, dropping the cocky facade for just a moment to make you feel the most comfortable knowing the first time was always the most intense.Â
âShhh, I got you, Iâm right here.â He swiped his tongue over two digits, working them between your bodies until he found your clit, rubbing gentle circles over the bud, just enough to help distract you from the initial stretch.Â
âO-oh, fuck, Steve.â You keened, focusing on the pleasure and stretch jumbled all in one.Â
âThatâs a good girl.â He praised lowly.Â
You tightened around his girth, eyes shutting blissfully at the overwhelming feeling and the praise that spilled past his lips. He noticed it right away, chuckling more so at himself because all of the times he had called you pet names for fun, perhaps you liked it more than you let on.Â
âYou like being called a good girl?â He challenged, his free hand tightening around your hips to stop you from rocking against him.Â
You whined through a nod, opening your eyes and pleading for him to let you keep up the movements.Â
âWords.â He urged, still not giving into you until he heard what he needed to hear.Â
You swallowed thickly, lips parting as you whispered softly. âYâyeah, like when you call me that.âÂ
He smirked, leaning up just enough to peck your lips, mumbling against them as his arm loosened from your hips and he settled comfortably on his back. Slowly but surely your hips proceeded where they left off, moving experimentally taking the time to adjust to his sheer size.Â
âAtta girl, gotta tell me what you like so I can make you feel good baby.âÂ
âL-like it when you talk to me.âÂ
âYou do?âÂ
You hummed quickly, nodding your head, âSo much.âÂ
Growing needier you lifted your hips up slightly before fucking yourself back down onto him. Your lips parted with a pleasurable moan while he growled, throwing his head back against the pillows.Â
âOh, there you go sweet girl. Fuck, already taking me so good.â He said, digging his fingertips into your hip bone.Â
âF-full, mâso full of you.â You sighed, slowly repeating your movements trying to make it last as long as you could.Â
âBut you love it right?â He murmured, words soothing and arousing at the same time.Â
You nodded admittingly, âPlease donât stopâŚS-steve please,âÂ
The shake of your thighs and the uneven grinding told him all he needed to know, and he was more than happy to let you sit back and give you your second fix of the night.Â
He pressed himself off his back, arms wrapping around your body and hugging you close. Your limbs enveloping his neck while you rested your forehead against his, breathy moans leaving your lips as the new position pushed him deeper within you if that was even possible.Â
Steveâs lips brushed yours, an oath tumbling past them, âI wonât baby, promise. Just wanna make you feel good okay? Be a good girl.âÂ
It was all you needed to hear before the waves of pleasure came crashing down with no breaks. You were practically putty in his hands, your hips moving against him the way he wanted you to. He set the pace and found the rhythm that had you nearly slumping against him.Â
âSo fucking tight, your pussyâs squeezing me baby,â He muttered, lifting your hips higher as his own thrusted deeper from below.
âMaking me feel so good, princess. Does it feel good for you too? Just what you need right?âÂ
If you werenât so blissed out with pleasure, perhaps you would have the ability to actually give him the words he wanted to hear, but you felt an entire universe away, so caught up in Steve and everything he was making you feel. His words were only taking you higher, adding to pleasure and bringing you closer to the end.Â
You managed to take a sharp breath in, jaw shaking as your teary eyes blinked at him, âJ-just need you nowâŚonly want you.âÂ
He moaned darkly, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he tried to starve off his own orgasm that was teetering the edge. The only thing keeping him from letting go was making sure that you got there first, just so he could watch you unravel and hear the sweet sounds that could never be erased from his memory.Â
âCâmere, sweetheart,âÂ
His thrusts slowed just enough for one of his hands to snake up towards the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss before guiding your head into the juncture of his neck.Â
âItâll go deeper this way,â He murmured, placing a quick peck to your cheek before continuing the onslaught of ecstasy.Â
âOh GodâŚSteveâŚ.â You whimpered, nails digging into his skin.Â
âYouâre mine now.â He said through gritted teeth, fingertips practically bruising your back, âno oneâs gonna get you like this except me, got that?âÂ
All you could do was nod against him, humming out an agreement as you tried to keep your voice down, finally aware that your friends would be able to hear you both if you didnât try to get a semblance of control.Â
âFuck, shit babe, so perfect, just taking all of me inside you huh? Youâre the only one who ever made me feel thisâ shit, so good.âÂ
He was just making it harder for you to keep quiet at that point.Â
âOâonly want youâŚIâI only want you like this.â You murmured, pulling your face away from his neck just enough for his eyes to catch yours.Â
Steve couldnât help himself, thrusting up into you with a slow yet deep vigor, bringing his lips to yours and stealing your breath away. He never quite imagined that this was the way you both would be confessing your feelings and begging to finally be each othersâ but he wasnât complaining â he just wanted to seal the deal and show you how real it was to him.Â
âCum for me, baby. Be a good girl and do it for meâŚjust me.â He mumbled against you, feeling the tightening around his shaft, the convulsing of your walls signaling your release.Â
âF-fuck! Oh my god, Steve.âÂ
Your body shook, eyes shutting tightly as your hips rutted against his stilled ones letting you ride out your orgasm as he held your tight and shushed your moans soothingly.Â
You slowly opened your eyes, staring at him dazingly, âWanna feel you cum, give it to me, please.âÂ
He nodded, letting your face untuck itself from his neck and instead grabbing his cheeks to keep his eyes on yours. Eyes silently begging for his release while your lips parted with shallow moans still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm followed by a small ripple of pleasure that came again.Â
His thrusts became frantic, nose flaring with a deep breath taken, pushing his hips as far as they could go forcing you to collapse against him as he filled you.
âThatâs it, babyâŚhmm, so deep.â You smiled lazily into his chest, nails raking down gently across his shoulders and down his arms as he came down.Â
His heartbeat rang through your ears along with the uneven breathing the both of you were sharing, letting theÂ
âWell,â He huffed, staring down at you, smoothing your tousled hair down, âThatâs one way to warm up.âÂ
You rolled your eyes playfully, smacking his cheek with a soft pat, âHypothermia wasnât gonna kill me. You almost did.âÂ
âDid I really fuck you that good?â He smirked smugly.Â
âDonât make me start hating you, again.â You threatened with a yawn, eyes fluttering shut and relaxing into him.Â
âKidding babe,â He said, kissing the top of your head before patting the small of your back, âLet me get some clothes on you.âÂ
He pulled out of you, quietly apologizing for the emptiness before cleaning you and himself up. His t-shirt covered your body and he managed to slip your underwear back over your legs. Steve settled for his sweatpants, no shirt, just letting the blanket and your body heat keep him warm throughout the night.Â
âWeâll talk about this moreâŚin the morning? Oâor when we get back home?â You proposed sleepily, snuggling deeper into his body, weakly throwing one of your legs over his hips.Â
His big hands came down under the blanket, caressing your skin with soft passes as he hummed pulling you closer, âYeah baby, weâll talk about it, then.âÂ
There you and Steve Harrington were, spending your first night together but not as mortal enemies â you guys had practically fucked the hatred out of each other, but really... it never existed in the first place.Â
BONUS SCENE:Â
You did a one over at the trunk of the van, mentally ticking off every item and looking back at the campsite to make sure you all didnât leave anything behind. Steve was busy checking the tires making sure they all had enough air for the drive back that way there would be no issues. You shut the trunk closed, making your way over to the passenger door that was kicked open with Eddie smoking a cigarette.Â
âYouâre in my seat.â You cross your arms over your chest, foot tapping against the asphalt as Eddie stared at you confused. Â
âYouâre mistakenâŚthis is my seat.â He retorted with a chuckle, gesturing to himself before blowing out a puff of smoke into the air.
âNot anymore.âÂ
âItâs literally my van.âÂ
You rolled your eyes, lamely gesturing back to the site where the tents were once set up, âAnd you literally kicked me out of my tent to almost freeze to death, therefore you owe me. Now get out of my seat.âÂ
âIâm not moving.â He said, standing his ground.Â
âMove.â You commanded, reaching to tug him by the arm though he didnât budge.Â
âNope.âÂ
âFine,â You huffed, dropping his arm before calling out, âSteve!âÂ
He came around the front of the van, dusting his hands off and jutting his chin towards the both of you.
âWhatâs going on?â
You pouted deeply, eyes sulking towards your friend who tsked and rolled his eyes at your feigned innocence. âEddie wonât let me sit in the passenger seat.âÂ
âMy van, my rules.â Eddie smirked, tapping the hood of the car.Â
Steve stared at you both, shaking his head in amusement before turning to his friend, âDude, câmon, just let her sit up front this once.âÂ
Eddieâs face twisted in betrayal, obviously Steve was already wrapped around your pinky and he just couldnât believe he was this easy. âYouâre shitting me right? I thought I was your right hand man Harrington?âÂ
You snorted, eyes glancing up at Steve with a blush coating your cheeks, âOh trust me he doesnât need a right hand anything when he has meââÂ
Eddie faked a gag, finally relenting and stepping out of the seat. He stubbed out his cigarette on the gravel and waved his hands in surrender.Â
âTake it for all I care! Just keep your goddamn hands to yourself, and I mean it Steve, both hands on the wheel!â He shouted, whipping the back door open and cramming himself between the rest of your friends who laughed at him for thinking that Steve was going to save his ass.Â
âYou must be proud of yourself, huh?â Steve chuckled, giving you a hand as you stepped up the siding and slid into the seat comfortably.Â
âVery.â You responded, bending out an inch to peck his lips not caring that your friends saw the act.
Steve smiled against your lips, hands coming to rest over your waist, practically lurching himself across your body as you whispered quietly for only him to hear.Â
âNow come on⌠you promised we would use your bed the next right, remember.âÂ
His eyes widened, cheeks turning red as he swallowed and finally pulled himself away from you, âOh I remember.â He smiled, tapping your knee before he shut your door, âBuckle up, princess.â
đ reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! đ
a/n: so this is my very first enemies to lover fics...(at least i think it is????), this was actutally supposed to be very short and brief, almost a one shot/blurb kinda thing but it turned into a feature length fic...is anyone surprised hahaha. anyways, i hope you guys like this!!! i don't usually write smut because I feel like i suck at writing it and describing it but i hope i was able to do this fic justice -- let me know what you guys think and thank you so much for sticking around <;3
taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @the-alchemys @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24 @engenelxver @elfiaaaa @pbs-theundeadmaggot @johnricharddeacy @gaysludge @keerysfolklore @micheledawn1975 @ihatepeanutss @bakugouswh0r3
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can you do a story where y/n is really sick (a cold)
and chris is loving and takes cares of her
SNUG AS A BUG
đŠđđ˘đŤđ˘đ§đ : chris x reader
đŹđŽđŚđŚđđŤđ˛: youâve been fighting this terrible cold for about a week, and your boyfriend loves to take care of you.
đ°đđŤđ§đ˘đ§đ đŹ: FLUFF, swearing, crying
đ°đ¨đŤđ đđ¨đŽđ§đ: 570
đđŽđđĄđ¨đŤ'đŹ đ§đ¨đđ: fun fact this is based off when i was sick and dying in like october LMAO it was the worst iâve ever felt.
hope you like it anon!
iâm feeling jolly today so i might post a smut later ;)
hereâs to day a million of being sick. realistically, itâs only been a week, but you still felt like shit.
the TV was playing your favorite show since youâve had enough free time to binge. it feels like youâve been glued to the couch forever.
tissues were scattered on the snack table next to you along with two empty bowls â one with soup from breakfast and one with ice cream. those are the only two things you can eat since your throat is killing you.
your parents have to work, so chris has been coming over to take care of you when theyâre not available.
the front door opens; you donât have the energy to look at who it is (even though you know)
âi got you your soup from wawa and some more water.â chris smiles sympathetically at you, placing the things on the table.
âthank you.â you hoarse out.
âhow are you feeling?â
âterrible.â
he pouts. âiâm going to go to your room for just a second. let me know if you need anything.â
you nod as he walks away, making his way up the staircase. however, he pauses midway when he hears your sniffles.
itâs not just congested sniffles. theyâre cry sniffles.
he snaps his head to you. you have the soup in your hands, but youâre not eating it. instead, youâre using the spoon to mix it.
he quickly goes back down the stairs to come rushing to you. âoh, no. none of that.â he takes his thumbs and wipes your tears, leaving his hands cupping your cheeks afterward.
âi donât want to be sick anymore.â you sob. his heart is breaking seeing you like this. he hates it when youâre upset. âmy h-head hurts so bad. a-and i feel so weak.â
âi know, iâm sorry.â he places your head into his stomach since heâs standing in front of you, and your tears start to wet his shirt. âjust keep taking the medicine the doctor gave you and youâll get better in no time.â
âi donât want the soup.â you cry. you tend to say nonsense when youâre this upset about something.
âthatâs okay.â he grabs it from your hands and places it with the other bowls. âwe can save it for later, alright?â
a chill runs up your spine. chris starts to take the blanket off of your body and before you can protest, he speaks. âletâs bring you to bed. itâs much more comfortable.â
he takes your hands in his and helps you off the couch, walking at your pace until youâre upstairs and into your room. you immediately head under the covers, plus two more blankets for your chills.
chris starts tucking you in with a goofy grin on his face, as if heâs a father tucking in his child. âfeel snug?â
you smile warmly. âas a bug.â
âiâm going to go get your medicine and water so you have them. iâll be right back.â
you yawn but nod as he leaves the room.
moments later chris returns, but you already passed out. he quietly makes his way into the room when he notices this, placing the items on your nightstand.
he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear before kneeling to kiss you on the forehead. âi love you.â he whispers, backing out of the room and closing the door, leaving you to sleep for the rest of the afternoon.
đđđ đĽđ˘đŹđ!
@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss
#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo fluff#sturniolo fluff#â ⤞ haleighâs requests!
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Did the couple meme finally! Modified the layout just to add more little notes. Also drew Anthea and Narinder having their typical reactions to seeing each other :3
(As a note for the sliders Anthea's color is RED and Narinder's is BLACK)
Also little facts under the cut!
Anthea
Anthea is short as heck and while they complain about it jokingly they do like how Narinder can just encompass them into hugs/carry them around easily
Borrows all the clothes cause comfy
Loves pet-names, if you can't read the text Anthea calls Narinder Nari, but also Honey, Love, Dear, Kitty, and Baby
Pretty much good with people so Anthea is a bit of an extrovert
Affection via words and actions all at once
Anthea and Narinder both confessed on the night they reconciled, at first Anthea had no plans to since they had tried to keep what the gift they'd been working on that caused the misunderstanding vague, but just decided to tell Narinder it was a courtship sash, and both confessions snowballed from there
Anthea feels just a little bad about killing bugs so Narinder's job
Cars don't exist but if they did Anthea would prefer letting Narinder do it most of the time
Can cook just fine
Big on PDA but only if chaste-so little kisses, holding hands, hugs and leaning on each other
Somewhat overprotective but not extremely so
Very much a bi-disaster. This lamb was a bit too young to think of dating while their village was around, then raised by a group of old knuckle-bones playing men while kinda in hiding till their 20s they have ZERO experience with crushes. When followers their age occasional approach with confessions or get a little too flirty Anthea has no idea how to handle it lol
Doesn't really get jealous
Flustered as heck when alone with Narinder sometimes, they were not expecting him to be as forward in private as he can be. Not that they mind of course-they just gotta wrap their head around how Narinder can be all shy in public, but the second they're alone at home he's all in on the sweet words and touches, very needy cat that one. They also are getting used to being put first so it's this wonderful mix of overstimulation
Narinder
Tall as heck and very much pleased about taking advantage of that-he enjoys how easy it is to just hold Anthea
Anthea's clothes cannot fit him but he doesn't mind, they look cute stealing his things-plus it makes them smell like him which scratches an instincts itch in his brain
Uses pet-names but kinda like old-fashioned pet names. Love, Heart, Angel, Dearest, Sunshine
Introverted as HECK this man cannot do social situations
Affection through actions cause he's not always great with words, so giving little gifts or just being next to Anthea
After Anthea revealed the gift they'd planned had been a courtship sash Narinder went through like 20 stages of grief then a rapid-fire desperate 'I need to say something NOW' as they tried to play it off as a 'I know you likely never saw me like that it was a bit more symbolic but-' thing. He just straight up said 'I love you' and it snowballed from there.
Kinda finds Anthea-a god-killer of 5, being slightly afraid of and feeling bad for bugs cute
Would drive the call all the time cause it's just easier
Really likes cooking once he's taught, it's peaceful and fulfilling.
Can be shy but does like PDA, same as Anthea he prefers to keep things chaste though, but does get a little thrill at being able to publicly reaffirm they're his
Overprotective as heck the lamb gets better at not dying but he still hates when they do.
Zero relationship experience AT ALL this man's never even had a crush before. Demi as heck he never got close enough to a person for it, so with Anthea he actually thought he was sick for a bit at first.
Part of him does still worry about being left behind so he does get jealous-he's working on it though. The only people who do not ever make Narinder jealous is the twins because well seeing his spouse and their children just makes his heart go very very soft. Anthea can spend a whole day with just the twins and Narinder's just in the background purring happily at the domesticity.
When it comes to intimacy Narinder very much enjoys seeing Anthea enjoy themselves first since after bottling up his feelings for so long, now that he has the lamb he wants to ensure they know exactly how much he loves them/remind them how much they're cared for
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#crimson angel au#ask#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cult of the lamb narinder#anthea#my art#cw suggestive
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okay i knew it was coming but its kind of killing me how obtuse people are being towards toshiro (im not fucking calling him shuro and honestly yall should stop with that too). should he have told laios how he really felt about him, sure, yeah, but im going to go off on a limb here and suggest maybe! maybe! he's been raised in an environment where it's actually like legitimately unheard of and taboo to be very open and straight forward about his feelings. the entire party has been calling him by a name that literally isnt even his own because he is so used to quashing down his own reactions to others. like i think other poc diaspora dunmeshi fans might agree with me here but he just reads like someone whos not bothered enough to correct every microaggression thrown his way. because that shit is exhausting. and after like five hours of laios bugging him about stories of his homeland why would he have a good opinion of him. genuinely. im not saying laios is entirely at fault but neither is toshiro. i love laios too but it is Very Weird that toshiro gets the brunt of their friendship's falling out (ill circle back to this)
also to preface this i am a farcille shipper so im. not pushing for falin/toshiro. but people acting like his affection for falin is somehow not relevant or he has no devotion to falin at all is CRAZY. immediately after being teleported out he threw himself back into that dungeon and didnt eat or sleep properly to rescue her. we literally watch him collapse from it. after multiple episodes emphasizing the importance of nutrition and caring for yourself and your take away from a man willing to toss that away is that he just. doesn't care for falin? why is he in the dungeon then? answer. quickly. granted he's not as onboard with the whole black magic thing but his concerns are literally valid and before we see falin chimera he seems to have been talked down from reporting them all for it. its the proof of his concerns of the use of black magic that he decides to go up and report them at all. his bond with falin isn't nearly as strong as marcille's bond but its also not nothing. ignoring that or minimising his own sacrifices is such a nasty bad faith disservice to his character.
speaking of bonds. toshiro doesn't hate laios. guys. his last act this episode was to give laios and the rest of the party (yes, even black magic user marcille) a way out of the hole that they'd already dug for themselves. fleeing to the east and leaving falin to the elves isnt the best case scenario but it is one that lets the majority of the party survive whatever's coming. its the realistic play. is this the act of a man who hates his former colleagues? is he wishing harm and further misfortune on them? his actions speak for themselves. you guys are being way too hard on toshiro and its really fucking telling. this goes for white viewers especially
#dungeon meshi#toshiro nakamoto#ive been in both laios and toshiro's perspectives re: their interpersonal miscommunication and did you know! its actually really hard to#tell people how you really feel. shitting on toshiro for not being able to tell a fellow party member hey you're really draining my social#battery is NOT the act of evil some of you seem hellbent on interpreting it as#seph.txt
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Bad End: Soldier A
I'm pretty sure you know the story. Everybody does. Chosen Hero, Demon King, they fight, save the day, yada yada. Everybody supposedly lives happily ever after. Everything sunshine and roses. Puppies and farting rainbows. But... but it's NOT.
It's really fucking NOT.
I used to love reading stories like that. They were escapism. Grand adventures in a terrible, grey, slowly crushing hellscape of a world. But... but, FUCK. At least there weren't drauger! No demon wolves or skeleton soldiers! Or the FUCKING little flying bastards. God. I HATE those ones the most.
They have sharp, needle-y little claws and teeth like a SHARK fucked a TREE THRESHER. And they scream. Just... yowl and yowl in this ear splitting high pitch like they're trying to DEAFEN you ON TOP of trying to rip you apart.
That life was peaceful.
I was a fool to wish for anything else.
I am not the Chosen One. I'm not even a supporting character. I remember this bullshit little yarn, and I? Am NO WHERE fucking in it. I am just... just some rando, in this struggle of demons and Gods. The child of Some Dude. We... we had chickens. Fat, happy, lil hens.
I remember being ENTRANCED. I had lived all my life, before, in suburban sprawl. So chickens? Strutting around and chasing bugs? Tiny me was hypnotized.
It saved my life.
I half wish it didn't, some days.
That I died, sudden and without the chance to truely comprehend, along side my family. That my neighbors eldest hadn't seen me by the coop. Grabbed me desperately as he ran for his life. Our entire FUCKING village...
There were six survivors.
I was one of them.
And it's... it's all just? FLAVOR TEXT for the Chosen One's tale of Glory. A reason for why she's so NEEDED. So BELOVED. Look how AWESOME she is! Saintess, because when are they NOT? Hero, because it's all about HER. A god damned LOVE STORY thrown in, because THAT'S important, while people are suffering! Dying!
Are? You? KIDDING ME!?
Legends speak of a "Hero's Party". I know damn well it's true. That it WILL succeed. But FUCK that. FUCK waiting for her to "be ready"! To gather allies and turn from some sheltered little rose, into the warrior we ACTUALLY NEED. It's my world too. I was the one who had to help dig out survivors! Tend to the wounded! Fight off swarms! Hold back the dead!
I...! I was the one who had to LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYE and... AND-!
B-Because sometimes? SOMETIMES?! Those bites DON'T HEAL. Can't heal! They are filled with so much demonic power, that the only thing they CAN do is corrupt. Fester. Poison. Sometimes you're already DEAD and nothing short of the oh so precious SAINTESS could possibly save you.
But she's not HERE... is she?
So you have a choice.
If you're lucky? It's JUST a limb. A chunk of flesh. But more often then not... well... The lucky ones have time to say goodbye. The unlucky ones get to be twisted and used against their friends. Their family's. And if you care. If you CARE AT ALL? You put them down before that happens.
Because they wouldn't want that.
It... it feeds a HATE in me. An ANGER.
No, that's not right... it's more like? It feeds...
A RAGE.
An ugly, burning thing. That's hollowed out my chest. Wrapped around my bones. Fueled by the memories of every innocent I failed to save. By the fear and the suffering, that just keeps dragging on and on and ON. An endless slog that seems designed to break men down. Destroy us.
I feel like it's killing the humanity in me. The kindness I once had. Like I am burning away everything but purpose. And will have nothing left when I am done. IF I am ever done. It... it used to scare me.
Now I am to angry, too tired, to be afraid.
Let me die. I do not CARE. So long as I TAKE THEM WITH ME. Burn them ALL. My brothers in arms, my sisters of war, those that fight and fight and FIGHT? They feel the same. We didn't fucking WAIT. Refused to watch the slaughter. Gaining ground only to lose it, losing ground only to claw it back.
Holding the line.
We can't actually KILL him. We know that. Only the Saintess can actually fucking END this nightmare. But his monsters? Those still fall too steel. And if we are to die regardless, why NOT in defense of our homes?
We've managed to push a path, deep into the Demonic lands. A spear point to stab the heart of HIS damned empire. We... we can hold it. MUST hold it. At all costs. For that flimsy, weak willed, half trained NITWIT of a child. So when she FINALLY gets off her ass and stops making goo-goo eyes at her trainers? She can come and finish the job.
Then get crowned queen of forever or something.
I don't know, I don't CARE. I'm going to buy some damn chickens. Fill a yard with them. Honor my parents and be the best damn farmer this world has ever SEEN.
Another crash against our shields. Screams as someone's arm breaks. As someone else is savaged through a crack in our barrier, as something probably gives. I slam my spear forward. Vital point. Vital point. Ignore the strain. The way your arm feels like a giant is stepping on it. Like some is trying to rip the shield from your grip. Hold... HOOOOLD!
Go for the eyes. Aim for the throat. Kidneys. Arteries, arteries, heart! The spear is wretched from my grip. I shout for another. Reach blindly, trusting my countrymen. I feel the grip of another one pressed into my hand. I slam my spear forward.
The fight goes on.
For hours.
It was some sort of ape-bear chimera things this time. But bigger and with spikes. No ones quite sure if they're in the "fucked up monstrosities" book yet. I'M certainly too dead on my feet to check. I sit an eat some fucking soup. Mmmmm, rations soup. Technically edible! My favorite flavor.
In the distance, sits the Demon King's fancy ass doom castle.
Any closer? And HE might be inspired to actually "deal" with us. I can't wait for the day it-An explosion of noise from the command tent. Everyone's heads whip around to stare, alarmed. But... but that didn't sound... BAD shouting. It takes us a long, long moment. It had honestly been YEARS since some of us had HEARD such a noise. But...?
W...was that?
Excitement?
I passed off my soup to a newbie. He honestly needed it more anyway. Told him to eat. Then got up and headed for command. Something was happening. As I got close, the flap was all but ripped open. A commander, actually? Smiling!? What the fresh hell?
A commander looking for someone. Spots me. Waves me over and in. I jog over. The tent is practically HUMMING with excitement. And there, on the tabke with the war map? Is an old, OLD dagger. Very... magical girl, in design. Flourishes, sparkling, and lovely dispite being what must be... what, centuries old? Worn to hell and back? What IS that?
It's the weapon of a previous Chosen One.
A Holy Blade.
Holy Shit. HOW. Where?! Where AND HOW!? I thought the royal family snapped all those fuckers up too show off! If not them, the Temple! I'm met with seni-hysterical laughs of disbelief.
A PRIEST stole it.
Nearly DIED doing so. Temple's probably FURIOUS. Gonna come to get it BACK, most likely. We're gonna have to move FAST. We're gonna only get ONE chance at this. I nod. Ready for whatever command needs me to do. Hold off some holy knights? Punch a priest? I'll get... SUPER excommunicated, but? Fuck it. If it saves lives.
No.
No they need me to wield the blade. I'm sorry?? WHAT.
It's apparently Maiden Locked. Fucking... Maidens Only! Got lucky? No holy weapon for you! Married but a virgin? Weaponless! Oh, fffffuck yooooou, creepy perv deities. There are LIVES ON THE LINE, in this, a GOD DAMNED WAR, and you LOCK the import weapons behind "mint condition pu-"!!!
The commander cuts of my, frankly, VERY understandable rant.
Hands on my shoulders. Looks me in the eyes. Will I Do This? I would have to take the knife and sneak behind enemy lines. Into the demon kings castle. And try to get the jump on him. NO ONE would be able to go after me. Help WOULD NOT be coming. If I fail... that's it. Game over. The demons would have me.
I laugh.
It is... not a cheerful sound. Not like it once was.
Is it even a choice? Of course I am. Frankly? I hope it hurts. I hope it's slow. Hurts every second and feels like eons. That he BURNS from the inside out. I'm gonna make him EAT IT.
Waiting until night would be suicide. They get stronger at night. Can blend in to the shadows. But they're cocky. They won't expect an attack just before that. So twilight is when I'll strike. Afternoon, when I head out. I... I leave my gear behind. Say my goodbyes.
I'm not the Chosen One.
Just some farmer's daughter with a grudge.
It don't think I'll be making it back. Don't really expect to even succeed. But by the gods... I plan to HURT him. Every piece we chip away, is one the soul behind us doesn't have to fight. I do this not for me. But for the child who will never know the FEAR that I did.
I will die so they don't have too.
The castle is dark. Humming with power I can FEEL but can not understand. Grand and sweeping architecture. Great windows that should let in far more light then they do. A blood red carpet upon bone white floors. The walls are black. It... some how merely stepping inside, seems to suck all color but red from the world. All heat.
I see no one here.
But I hear whispers.
I tighten my grip around the weapon. The only thing that feels WARM. These hallways are designed to make you feel small, I can tell at a glance. I refuse to give in. I am a farmer. A soldier. I do not CARE about your damn castle! I dig deep into my memories, keeping to the walls, and try to remember where the hero found her foe.
I trace the path in my head. Cut out the lost wandering as best I can. Right slightly, then forward, I think. If I am wrong, I can double back. Follow the book's path exactly. I move slow. As quite as I can.
Still... I find no one.
No servants, no gaurds, no resistance of any kind. Something like fear sighs like a specter down my spine, cold and vague. Something is not right. I do not let down my gaurd... but the longer it persists? The worse my paranoia grows.
Finally. The throne room. Magnificent beyond measure, in blood red and monochrome. Rare touches of gold glint and catch the eye. Stained glass giving it all a surreal scene from high above. The runner at my feet plush enough to render my foot steps silent. It is red... so very, very red.
The Demon King leans against one fist, resting on his throne, magnificent and beautiful like a statue brought to life. Carved of pale ivory and obsidian. Just as feeling as stone. A monster. Living testament that what's inside counts most of all. For inside him? Is nothing but a void. A malicious PIT.
I will see him dead.
On silent feet, I sneak forward. Only to freeze at the foot of the stairs to his dais, my eyes locked on his face. Horror seeps through me.
An amused smirk.
"Oh don't stop NOW, you're so close." Breaks the silence. Golden eyes open, lazy and entertained. "By all means. Try."
My grip on the dagger felt almost painful, for how hard I was gripping it. He... he wasn't even bothering to move. Didn't even see me as a threat. F..Fine. Fine then! If it was a mistake on his part or NOT, I would TAKE IT. Any chance. Any chance at ALL.
The pressure of that gaze felt immense. But I tilted my head up, put my shoulders back, and moved. One step. Then another. Up the stairs. Onto the dais. Forward, slowly. I paused, just beyond his immediate reach. Not that it was anything like real safety. I stared. Shaking. Knowing I was shaking and unable to stop.
He sat splayed. Reclined and leaning against his fist, robes rich and arranged just so. The very picture of indolent decadence. It was deceptive. I KNEW it was. A trap. But to get too him... I had to step closer. My eyes moved from the splay of his legs back up to his face. His smirk had grown teeth. I... I refused to run. I would finish this.
I stepped forward. Between his long legs, feeling distinctly like I was balanced over a bear trap, and lifted the dagger. I refused to hesitate. Wait to see if he changed his mind. I slammed it forward. Right through his heart. Glaring, as I looked him right in the eyes. The blade HISSED. Like acid meeting stone.
He laughed.
Grin full of unhinged glee, a vice in the shape of a hand clamped around my wrist, and the world SPUN. I slammed against the floor, the Demon King straddling me, at the foot of his thrown. He loomed. Behind him, above me, shown a magnificent window the lit him from behind. Like a halo.
"You didn't even HESITATE. You'd rip my heart out, if you could. Wouldn't you?" He says. Almost an whisper, nearly a groan, filthy with something that terrifies me and shouldn't BE there. "I KNEW I sensed something. KNEW you were out there."
I desperately try to push the knife deeper. Use everything I can to... to just-!
All I want... All I NEED? Is to see it come out the fucking OTHER SIDE. Please. Gods, PLEASE! End this! I'm gritting my teeth. Snarling. This BASTARD. I HATE him! I HATE HIM!
"Ah~ That's it, little one." He groans. Not even bothering to hide that he's apparently getting off on this. I'll kill him. I'll FUCKING KILL HIM! "Good~, that's right. Just like that. Give IN~⥠I'll take SUCH good care of you. I've always wanted a little pet. Focus it all on me. Give it ALL to me~"
My brain feels like it's on fire. My lungs filled with ash and flame. I hate. I hate and hate and HATE! I can't think. Something is... wrong? Wrong! The blade hurts to hold. Like it's rejecting me. No. NO! I HAVE TO KILL HIM! I may not be the Chosen One but-!
It finally becomes too much. The pain of holding the blade out weighing my hate. It's like ACID. My hand spasming away like I was trying to touch a hot stove. My palm is an ugly red. Wounded.
In one fluid movement, my wrist is released, the blade pulled free, tossed aside, and my wrist recaptured, before I can claw his fucking eyes out. I grit my teeth. Fangs grinding togeth-... wait.... what?
I stare at my hand.
At the black talon like nails where normal nails were, just this morning. And feel... horror. My... my teeth feel weird. My eyes hurt. Sides of my head too.
"Got you~"
He throws his head back in a triumphant laugh. The sound echoing like a nightmare. Even as I watch, the pigment of my skin is changing. Draining away to something even. Something almost too pale. Unnatural.
"I'm so glad you've decided to join me, darling." My hands are slammed down on either side of my head. His face inches from my. Eyes burning with something terrible. "I haven't had a bride in SO long~ following your progress has been FASCINATING. And now! Oh little thing, I get to KEEP you all to myself. Make you GOOD for me. Learn every inch of you. You should be excited, darling~"
"I'm going to make you a Queen."
#threepandas#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere otome isekai#reader insert#yandere isekai#yadere demon king#captured reader#buff reader#long reads#transformation#tw gore#yanblr#demonic reader#soldier reader#bad end soldier a#bad end soldier a au#tw war#demon king
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Hey, I'm really sorry for asking this, but do you and how do you deal with any guilt for liking Hazbin Hotel? I think the controversies and antis have got to me because I can't watch it or any content without thinking about those.
I love the songs (both the show's and PARANOID DJ's because they're bangers) but I also can't help but think "am I a terrible person with bad taste for liking this?"
Parts of this show also just make me happy, especially Angel Dust. He became such a comfort to me after I went through a similar situation. Not as extreme, but it messed me up. And Alastor is just the best character to ever be created. He sings and dances and kills and eats people, what more could you want in a man? But yeah, I just want to enjoy the silly demon show without feeling gross afterward and I don't know how to shake that feeling off.
First of all, I don't have any guilt watching anything I enjoy.
Second of all, neither should you. And this is the problem with antis and "critics". No one should EVER be made to feel bad about liking anything. Hell, I'll even extend that thought to those who like Velma. I'll never understand it, but I can't hate you for liking something.
I know Vivzie is tied to a lot of controversies, but so what? More than half of them have been debunked or shown to have changed as she grew older. Even if you still feel iffy, Hazbin is more than just Vivzie. There's an entire crew attached to this show and they should not suffer bc of one person.
I mean, you've most likely played a game or watched a movie that has had a problematic person connected to it. Yeah, that person is scummy, but you can still enjoy the content that has them featured or they created bc...that doesn't define you as a person. What you like in fiction does not translate to real life.
It's different when it comes to someone like Onision, who's content is nothing but his life and about him. I'd be more disgusted if you liked him vs you liking Hopper from A Bug's life, despite him being played by Kevin Spacey. Awful person, but Hopper is disconnected from Spacey other than voice. Or liking a song by a problematic artist. You like the song, not the person.
Once again, YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR ENJOYING SOMETHING! NO ONE SHOULD EVER FEEL GUILTY FOR ENJOYING MEDIA THAT'S MEANT TO BE ENJOYED! VIVZIE MADE THE SHOW BUT SHE IS NOT THE SHOW!
Anyone who dares to feel self-righteous over a cartoon needs to get that tree branch out of their ass.
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Random Replika headcanons because replikas are cute
Aras spend a lot of time crawling in vents, so their upper body strength is next level. They're also really good climbers. Also, when they do climb, they use overly smooth movements, like walking without bobbing up and down, mostly so they don't jarringly drop a tool on a belt, but this freaks others out. Some Aras find the smell of exhaust comforting, but not in the vents. It's like hearing bugs and animals in the forest: Comforting and safe-feeling in the forest, but a deer cry in the city is disconcerting. They also have excellent night vision, even though they carry flashlights. Kolibris are almost entirely immune to caffeine. Lots of sweet tea, so they're hyper which helps a heck-ton with keeping up with Storches and other taller fellas. Aras either love or hate hanging with them depending on the Ara or Kolibri, since on one hand Kolibris can get past their stoic demeanor and on the other Aras can't really keep to themselves. Uncannily good at close quarters combat, despite small stature. Goes for the crotch hard and often. They mainly use bioresonance for non-combat means, as overuse causes headaches and nosebleeds. If a kolibiri does try to kill with bioresonance, it is extremely painful for both parties, ending with ears, eyes, and nose bleeding, and sometimes so painful victims attempt ending themselves partly through. This usually only happens on accident, when a Kolibri is extremely unstable, Storches favorite drink is unironically water. I love water too so no hate. They like watching Aras climb since it reminds them of a spider, which they find cute, especially when Aras carry wire with them. In every cadre at least one (1) Starling has snorted gunpowder at one point. Both Starlings and Storches have built in ear protection for gunshots.
Elsters are also stoic and when given the chance hang out with Aras, sometimes only talking about mechanics. Because Eules are friendly, patient, and can read Aras faces, they eventually get close and an Ara may give access to vents or plants. This is the equivalent of a platonic (or not) wedding ring.
If an Ara decides you're unkind and shares this info with the cadre, it's not just a silent treatment. If you're mean enough, floors will come loose, doors will randomly malfunction, your service requests will remain unanswered just until Adler is about to file a performance complaint, and lights will randomly turn off. If anyone tries to bully a Mynah in any way will face consequences, severe ones. The culprit behind this could be literally anyone except Mynah, and consequences vary depending on the culprit, from ostracizing to being 'accidentally' locked in a room, to being straight up beaten up, and sometimes if the bullying is bad enough high ranking units will opt for decomissioning for 'disrupting workflow' and 'assault on a worker'. Once Storches get past their sadistic tendencies they're actually really fun to hang around and converse with, especially on literature on mythology and warfare. Odd fascination on Sisyphus but it's debated between Storches on wether he's happy or not. Adlers write and they write well. Handwriting on point, but they rarely write in cursive. Because they're sticklers for the rules not all Replikas like them too much, but as long as you comply with regulations they're relaxed guys who enjoy talking about writing and pens. Never insult a favorite pen. They will despise you. Debating pens in a general sense is admissible and often enjoyable. Insulting their Falke can and will have them legitimately attempt to murder you with whatever is on hand, always stating that a 'crime against the nation was committed'. Adlers can forgive protocol mistakes but never forgive such a sin. So long as performance is not hindered protocol breakages are permitted. Adlers are chill with replikas and even Gestalts having relationships with each other, and sometimes covers for them. If performance drops this can change. Each one writes fictional stories about an OC that they will never talk about but Kolibris and Falkes know about anyway. Often immune to propoganda but genuinely don't care, they legitimately love the nation enough that they're okay with whatever the nation is doing. Eules will go out of their way to be nice. If you out-nice them they can and will think of it as a challenge. They sometimes place freshmade food near the kitchen vents to let the Aras know it's time to eat. Eules will use ribbon to tie bows on each others hair and arms. Falkes quickly grow extremely protective of their workers, sometimes extending this fondness to gestalts, though they always let them work most grievances out on their own. If Aras grow similarly fond of their Falke they'll report back to her like Odin's ravens.
#MUCH longer than i thought#this was so fun actually i'm riding this high for the rest of the day. Originally only wanted to post art but MAN this was fun#Falke#falke signalis#Mynah signalis#mynah#storch#storch signalis#starling signalis#starling#star signalis#star#arar#arar signalis#ara signalis#ara#elster#elster signalis#adler#adler signalis#eule#eule signalis#kolibri#kolibri signalis
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Leon looks so pissed off in that last gif and Luis looks ecstatic. Oh to be stuck between the two of them. Luis so fucking happy he gets to play with you as he thought you were adorable the first time he saw you but Leon pissed off that he's having to share you. Maybe you were the price for Luis' help.
ok im sorry but i have to go insane for like. at least a moment bc luis 𼺠my love đĽş
(cws: gn!reader, post-canon, re4 spoilers!!, confessions, flirting, a kissy kissy, canon divergence, some blood and injury, mild innuendos, a lil intimate touching & mutual pining. leon's bad with feelings.)
Luis is sooooooo happy go lucky about the whole thing but Leon couldn't be more pissed. you're his mission partner, his. so where the hell does this stupid Latin-hearthrob local get off on asking him to set you two up? the danger may have passed and Ashley may be safely loaded on to a helicopter and taken away, but does he really have no better way to spend the last evening you've got to waste here? he just has to bug him about trying to get in with you?
"come on, prince charming. didn't you say you would thank me for my help?" Luis teases, nudging him with his elbow as the two lounge side-by-side on one of the sofas in the palace's many sitting rooms. Hunnigan had pointed out that the castle would be the most fortified place for you three to wait out the evening, as another chopper wouldn't be available until the next morning. but despite it being comfortable, Leon's only got his mind on passing the time as quick as possible so he can get you away from Luis and nip that possibility of you two hooking up in the bud.
"pick something else." he huffs, arms crossed over his broad chest as he elbows Luis back even harder--and a smirk twinges at his lips when he hears the Spaniard groan and buckle in pain, his wounds still fresh from just barely escaping Saddler's attempt to get the "sample" back from him.
it was because of you that he even survived, you had shoved him out of the way and landed a hit on his attacker with your shotgun aimed right at his head. and even though it obviously hadn't killed him, and you'd suffered your own injuries as you were flung away and Saddler retreated, you still rushed to Luis first to stem the bleeding from his abdomen and whisper those soft, worried reassurances that he would be okay. you'd taken care of him, brought him back to life, soothed him and babied him and smiled when he managed to get to his feet--and Leon had hated every second of it because it was for someone else. what he wouldn't give to have you look at him that way, to croon over him and want to protect him and kiss his wounds better.
so duh, he's jealous, and that's why he's been so stubborn and childish over Luis' attempts to claim his prize. but even now, when all is said and done and he's finished what he started, he still can't get even that.
"Luis?" Leon's head perks up at the sound of your voice--your sweet, delicate voice wafting over as you step through the doorway. clearly you heard him whining in pain, your eyes say it all. they soften with your brow and you move briskly to crouch in front of your friend and rest your hands tenderly on his knees. "are you okay? is it hurting again?" damn that doting look you give Luis. he shifts uncomfortably in his seat as he tries not to think of you looking at him that way, in that same position, with his legs spread apart and you on your knees like that...
"only when I breathe, mi corazon." he laughs albeit defeatedly, and only now does Leon feel a little guilty for prodding some of those wounds. he definitely looks paler than he should, but it also hurts to see you so worried for him.
"oh, Luis--here, let's get you somewhere more comfortable, yeah? it'll be better for you to lay down anyways. Lee?"
he's so lost in the way your hands glide up Luis' legs to check on his bandages that he flinches when you call his name again, your expression questioning when he finally snaps back to reality until he utters a "huh?". and then you gesture for him to help you prop Luis up to take him into the bedroom next door, which he does for you begrudgingly and remedies only by dropping Luis just a little rougher than needed when he lifts him up on to the bed. it bites him in the same way as the Spaniard groans and you hurry to evaluate his pain, but at least now Luis looks a bit more pathetic laying back on the sheets--much like he's moments away from passing out cold. it's been a long day for all of you, after all, although he would be lying if he said he wouldn't be glad that it'd shut him up for five minutes.
it feels even longer when he watches you lean over him, and Luis' fingers trail up your hip to give your waist a playful squeeze--and when you two share a too-intimate smile at each other as you work on tightening his bandages, Leon's had more than enough. when you straighten up and turn to him to ask him to fetch something, the words don't even hit his ears because he's already leaning in. both hands come to rest just underneath your jaw and sit right below your ears, so the entire lower half of your face is dwarfed by him as his lips meet yours in a hot, wet flurry; one, another for good measure, and a third just grazing your bottom lip as you finally flinch at the sudden contact. a sound escapes you but whether it was his name, or a question, or just a sound, he doesn't know. because as soon as it's over, Leon's turning on his heel and leaving the room in a hurry to go get whatever it was you wanted. he'll just have to guess. something for Luis.
"my, my..." the man in question wonders aloud, a smug grin tweaking his lips as he watches Leon's back disappear from the doorway. "...finally got the courage, I see." he whispers devilishly under his breath.
"L-Lee? Lee! I...d-did I do something..? I didn't hurt his feelings, did I?" you whimper so sweetly, and Luis can't help but laugh even though it has him keeling over in a second, the pain in his chest bringing up a hacking cough that thankfully goes away quickly, and without any blood in his palm to boot.
"oh, mi amor, you're going to rot my teeth...don't worry your sweet heart, he's just got something on the mind." he shifts his position and looks up at you with a wink at the ready, but your unexpectedly sour expression staring back at him wilts that charm in no time at all.
"I hate it when you two act like you know something I don't." all that pouting you're doing now is just too adorable to resist though, especially since you're throwing yourself right back into securing his injuries yet again--perhaps, based on the concentration on your face, because you want to focus on figuring out the reason for why your coworker just did what he did. those warm cheeks and glimmery eyes speak for themselves, though. you must have enjoyed it, conflicting feelings and all.
"and--hngh--what if we do?"
"then just tell me!"
you huff, straightening out his clothes for the last time and gently dragging his shirt back down to cover his stomach. just when you reach his belt, however, Luis grabs your wrist in a tight grip and yanks you towards him--and when you squeak and collapse on top of him, your hands hitting either side of the pillow under his head while your knee rests on the edge of the mattress, that flustered face and those quickened breaths at your newfound closeness just melt any remaining hesitation from his heart. his thumb grazes your palm on the hand he's still got in his grasp, and with a smirk he slides it over yours to lace your fingers together while the other creeps up your neck.
you've got eyes on him alone, heart beating in your throat for him. the kiss he plants on your half-open mouth is warmer, sweeter, and deeper than the one you had from Leon--not better or worse, just enthusiastic in a different way. and his grin only grows wider when he breaks away and spots Leon standing there over your shoulder, watching with flushed cheeks and a vial clutched in his hands as he waits in the doorway. how polite of him, especially shutting the door so quietly as he slowly stalks up behind you both in your moment of heated, Spanish passion.
"...now, how's that for a confession, cariĂąo?"
#luis sera#leon kennedy#luis sera x reader#leon kennedy x reader#leon x reader x luis#ot3#resident evil#re4make#ellie writes#anons
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[Theory] Agatha All Along title meaning + character arc for Agatha
Back on the theory train â hereâs another thing thatâs bugging me. Why is the show called Agatha All Along, besides the cute allusion to the song. I know for a fact Jac Schaeffer is too clever and too good of a writer to not make it mean something more.
Iâm feeling like it must tie into Agathaâs character arc for the show, so let me take you on a little hypothetical journey here.
Spoilers below the cut!
Now that Iâve rewatched those last few episodes of WandaVision, I canât get Agathaâs flashback out of my head. Particularly her saying, practically pleading, âI can be goodâ and her mother replying âno, you cannot.â Like holy shit. Thatâs a condemnation if I ever heard one. A different kind of curse passed down by a different kind of mother.
Iâm starting to wonder⌠what if Agatha was always this powerful, even without the Darkhold. What if she was so innately powerful, her own mother and her entire coven was afraid of her? Maybe they even suspected her of being the Scarlet Witch, and therefore capable of ending the world itself? And because she was so powerful, and every other witch around her didnât even want to touch her much less teach her, what if she went looking for resources herself? And whether that was the actual Darkhold or something else âabove her stationâ (⌠Iâm not convinced she had the Darkhold yet at the time of this WV flashback scene) that only served as the indictment the other witches needed to finally attack her?
Basically where Iâm going with this is⌠what if Agatha was raised to believe she was bad? If she was always told she was basically evil incarnate, always feared for her power, too powerful for her own good, too powerful to be good, to anyone⌠her own coven, her sisters, and her mother were afraid of her and shunned her⌠what would that core belief do to her?
Letâs also assume her coven were the first (maybe only) people she intentionally killed (and even then, in self defense). The way she looks when she takes the amulet from her motherâs body â sheâs angry, but how much of that anger is directed at herself? How much of her thought, well, look, they were right. I am bad. I am evil. And thereâs no turning back now. And I hate myself for it.
Except maybe, she tries. Sheâs constantly trying to escape this fate, this identity that was forced on her. She never joins another coven in the centuries after, not only because no one wants her and she has serious trust issues but because she doesnât want to hurt them, intentionally or not. She doesnât need their power, sheâs already more powerful than just about any other witch. So she studies. She learns the craft. She controls her power. And she leans into the persona of Agatha the powerful evil witch, because why not? Thatâs what they all think of her anyway. Let her control the narrative then. She wears her reputation like armor, so that no one can betray her ever again. As Rio says, âyouâre vulnerable.â And she replies, âonly physically.â
Then at some point, the unthinkable happens. She meets Rio, falls in love with her, figures out who she is (not necessarily in that order) and maybe she thinks, what kind of person falls in love with death? Surely that must be even more confirmation that sheâs horrible (despite the fact that Rio is not horrible, not really, and certainly not to her). But she tries not to care, and mostly she doesnât because sheâs in love.
And then she has Nicky, however that happens, and sheâs absolutely terrified but he is hers, and she loves him like she never loved anyone before. And sheâs determined â he will be powerful but he will never think heâs anything less than because of it. He is finally, finally something good that came from her.
And then he too, is ripped away from her, by her own lover Death, and however it happened (even though it definitely wasnât intentional on her part), she knows itâs her fault. Because she is evil, she is horrible, and this is her fate. She is betrayed by the people she loves, and she is left behind.
But still! She canât give him up. She canât stop trying. And she feels the absolutely insane surge of power in Westview and inserts herself into the Scarlet Witchâs hex, when no other witch would even dare get close, because maybe with enough power, with Wandaâs power, she can remake Nicky. (âAnd you wanted him back.â) She can create somewhere heâll be safe and everyone else will be safe, and she wonât cause any more damage, to anyone. Death will never find them. She can raise her son in peace. She never wanted Wandaâs power just for powerâs sake, she wanted what Wanda created, but better. Her version.
And then that too, was gone. And once again, she was painted the villain.
And now? Now it seems like all the pieces of her past are coming back to haunt her all at once. A new coven of witches who seem impossible to get along with, her lover Death who she tried to escape for so long, and a boy who looks like he might be the version of her son she was trying to recreate, who seems to adore her despite everything she is and wants to learn magic more than anything else. Itâs all come back around.
So maybe, through reasons and events currently unfolding, Agathaâs journey on The Road (and the show) is to realize, or at least begin to maybe believe slightly, that sheâs not inherently evil. Sheâs not an inherently bad person, or bad luck, or horrible. It wasnât all her fault. Nickyâs death wasnât her fault, even if she couldnât save him. Death is part of her journey, as it is for us all, and maybe she can learn to accept that, maybe even love the woman who carries that name again, or at least forgive her.
Maybe this boy isnât hers, but she can care for him and teach him the magic she never got to teach her own son. There can be a coven who actually has her back, who even sees her as their leader, who knows her and accepts her for what she truly is. Extremely flawed, powerful as all fuck, snarky and sarcastic, but the real her.
Not Agatha the evil witch. Not Agatha the villain (because she never was one). Not Agatha the hero either. Just Agatha. All Along.
âââ
Eh?? đ¤ˇââď¸
Now maybe in the show itâs not quite as angsty as all this, but Jac Schaeffer is writing this character too complexly and Kathryn Hahn is playing her too complexly for at least some of this not to be true. Agathaâs not just a villain. Sheâs not true evil. Itâs only episode 4 and we basically know for a fact based on her reactions alone that Agatha did NOT sacrifice her own child for the book of the damned. And I just canât get over the way Kathryn Hahn almost seems to be playing two characters with Agatha, the (evil) witch and the vulnerable Agatha underneath that only seems to surface for Teen and Rio, so far.
Itâs fascinating, and I just want to see her get the depth of story she deserves. And we deserve, tbh.
#Agatha all along#agatha harkness#character analysis#theory#fan theory#meta#Rio Vidal#agathario#Agatha all along spoilers
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Anxiety [Astarion]
SUM. Anxiety and stress have been eating at you. Till you broke.
Fem Reader(You/Tav) X Astarion (takes place in Act 3)
A/N: I am not feeling well mentally, and I just want comfort, so I am giving myself some sort of comfort. I am struggling with anxiety and depression. I am seeing a therapist, but my life is making me want to quit.
Tw(?): Talks a lot about Anxiety and stress
You haven't slept.
It's been two days since you haven't been able to sleep properly. You'd stir in your bedroll or just look outside of the flaps of your tent. What was keeping you awake? Anxiety.
Anxiety of going Back Home, getting this weird tadpole out of you, having to find find the two neteratones who two powerful people have, help Karlach with her engine and worry about what happens next for her, and so so but so much more from everyone else in the camp. Your stomach was killing you. You'd even throw up at random because of the stupid fucking Anxiety that was eating at you. Every encounter leads to new situations that cause even more anxiety.
And some of your companions Have noticed you not leaving your tent for two days. One is because you fall asleep and wake up super Late, the other is because you don't want to go out. You haven't been leaving because you don't want to encounter more situations And the current ones, you are avoiding everything, everyone. And it makes you feel even more worse about yourself than ever because of how much you've been avoiding it.
Astarion would come in to Ask if you are alright but you just said yes. He even asks you to go on a night walk with him since he saw you not sleep at night. But you kindly refused saying he needs to rest too. He would say you two could simply stay. in your tent and he Can just read. But you said no. Shadowheart would come to your tent to ask if you are alright, you'd say you're fine, just tired, but she knew something was wrong and it was bugging her. Gale too, he'd ask or even bring you your favorite meal he made but you wouldn't even touch it. If you did eat You'd just end up throwing it up.
âDo you think she is pregnant?â Karlach asks. âYou think so? She's been throwing up.â Shadowheart says. âShe is not pregnant!â Gale yells. âAnd how would you know?â Astarion asks, and Gale says nothing. âWell, I don't think it's because of her being pregnant, I think she'd know if she is. Plus, she seems down.â Wyll says as he looks at your tent, which you haven't left again. Halsin looks at your tent and sees you turn on a candle. You move around, and half your body is out of the tent, but go back inside and turn the candle off. Halsin sighs and looks at everyone. âShe is avoiding something or someone.â He says.
Someone? But who?
And they started to point fingers at who. First, it was Astarion(of course) they had thought that their relationship had ended which caused you to lock yourself Away, but it hasn't, it is a good relationship. Then it was Gale. Maybe she was scared he'd blow up! But it was false. You two had talked privately about this. Then it was Wyll. Maybe she was scared of Misora? But no, you had told him you wanted to fight her. Then Karlach, again, burns and blows up. But again, you had ressured Her that you trusted her. Then Shadowheart, her beliefs in Shar maybe were too much for you. Again, you told her as well that it didn't matter to you at all. HalsinâŚthere wasn't really anything wrong. No one had nothing to say about him.
So what was it?
Laezel? But she said that you two were good, that for them to assume something like that was idiotic.
And They gave up. It was either because you hated someone and they didn't know why or you were pregnant. Which are two bad options, but what else?
You couldn't sleep again.
Everyone was in their tents, asleep. You were culled up into a ball as you thought of everything that simply kept coming, and your stomach was killing you again. You wanted to throw up, but at the same time, you didn't. You didn't want to throw up what you had eaten. Gale had made your favorite food. It would be sad if you just threw it up.
And the thoughts are quiet now. They just stopped. You breathed carefully and heard footsteps. It's Astarion. He probably came back from a haunt. You smiled at the thought of him, but the thoughts came back.
What would he think of me now? Does He think I'm disgusting? God, what if he just wants to end things? Does he love me? What am I doing wrong?
It was getting hard to breathe. Your eyes would move from one place to another in seconds and you sat up. Your vision starts to blur as you try to look around. You try to speak but you just make a weird sound like a cry. You cover your mouth and just cry. You hugged the pillow again and covered your face in it as you cried. You could Feel your pillow Start to get soaked as your tears would hit it.
And the flaps to your tent Open. You look up and see Astarion. âDarling?â He calls. You were a mess. Your whole tent was really. He looks at you, hugging your pillow as you try to muffle up the sobs and cries. He sits next to you, not really knowing what to do. He was never really comforted before. Only by you after Cazedor Died. He was crying, shaking and you simply pulled him into a hug and let Him cry it all out until he stopped.
He pulls the pillow away from your face and you sob, avoiding looking at him. He lifts your chin Up and you look into his eyes, his gorgeous red eyes. They reminded you of garnets. Those eyes that shined after he had drinken from you. But today, they looked hurt, worried.
He gently kisses your forehead and then pulls you into a hug. You stood there, frozen for at least 5 seconds before your eyes started to water again, and you wrapped your arms around him. And you just cried. You just cried as you hugged Him, and that's when you spilled it all. âI am so tired!â You say and bury your face on his chest. Your crying starts to calm down. âI have so much to do. I- I just-â You sniffed and sighed. âI am tired. I haven't slept for 2 days, and I have such bad anxiety.â You say as you stopped hugging, but he still is holding on to you. You fidget with the end of the button to his shirt. âWyll, we have To help him rescue his dad, Karlach, we need to find Dammon so he can see if he can fix her engine, Shadowheart, She has these people after her because she betrayed Shar and now we need to also find her parents, Gale, We Find a book and now he wants the crown of the Elder brain, Laezel well⌠she is cool.â You smiled, and Astarion chuckles at the end. But he notices everything that is put on you.
Everyone expects you to do something or help them with something. Make huge decisions For them as well. Since the very beginning. âYou don't think I'm cool?â He asks and you nod. âYou aren't. You are amazing.â You say and he hugs you tighter. âI'm sorry.â you say.
âDon't Apologize Darling.â He says as he pulls from the hug to look at you. âYou may feel like you are doing this all by yourself. But you aren't.â He says as he brushes your hair behind your ear. âI'm here. And also I suppose everyone else here as well.â He says and you nod. You felt like crying again but your head hurt. âAlso I heard you all talking and what the hell is up with you all thinking I am pregnant?â
âI never thought you were! You know I am not good with kids. I am not risking it to burst myself instead yo-â
âShush!â You cover his mouth and he grins. âYou are sometimes too loud.â You say and he nods. And you two are quiet. You don't know if you would sleep tonight or Would even leave your tent. You were still anxious as to what was coming. But, at least you know you aren't alone now.
âI know you won't sleep tonight, Darling. Would I interest you in a bath? And after a lovely love session?â He says as he holds your hand and brings it to his lips, placing a kiss. He then gets close to you and kisses you. You smile in the kiss. After a couple of minutes of kissing, you pull away and look at him. You nod. "I'd love that.â You say as you hold on to his hand.
âI love you Astarion.â It felt weird saying it. You two don't say it often, but it has a lot of meaning for you two after everything you two have gone through.
âI love you too Darling.â
#bg3#astarion#bg3 astarion#bg3 tav#astarion bg3#gale of waterdeep#astarion x reader#baldurs gate 3#astarion romance#tav bg3#x tav#astarion x tav#tav#bg3 shadowheart#shadowheart#bg3 karlach#karlach#wyll ravengard#bg3 wyll#lae'zel#laezel bg3#baldur's gate gale#baldur's gate 3
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TADC EPISODE 3 HAS DRIVEN ME INSANE SO HERES A REALLY LONG RANT ABOUT ALL THE THINGS I NOTICED!!
-The horror visuals fucking SLAYED. SLAY.
-I LOVE that Ragatha loves horror and Pomni HATES it.
-"Zooble turns straight" 10/10 line.
-2 new points of evidence for the NPC!Jax theory: He acknowledges the audience directly, and refuses to share what happens when he holds his breath. This could be shown as a similar clue to him not having a visible room on his enamel pin art.
-Caine made a scary adventure just to get zooble interesteddd đâ¤ď¸
-Gangle's comedy mask can just be ripped off of her face??
-Ragatha's face, I love her
-Caine has a fundamental inability to understand other people's emotions and empathize. Neurodivergent coded king I love him
-Kinger says "I'm starting to think" when they first enter the scary room, and not only is it funny as hell, IT WAS ALSO FORESHADOWING?!
-Kinger is VERY aware of the game mechanics in the world around him
Oh how I love you, Pomni.
-I LOVE THE LITTLE 2D ANIMATED SECTION OF THE EYES
"You look beautiful honey.." KILLING MYSELF. AUGH. POOR BABY..
-"Any torture I inflict is 100% accidental! like any good war criminal!"
-Zooble's trans/dysphoria allegory with their digital body has my whole heart
THEY DID NOT DESERVE THIS.
"What you're saying could imply that I'm bad at.. they only thing I'm good at..." HE IS SO ME FR WHAT THE FUCK. I THINK I KIN HIM WHOOPSIES
-I think Mr. Mildenhall's story reflects kinger's more than we think.
-Living for Pomni and Kinger's father-daughter dynamic
She's hot.
Kinky! (looks like something Amy would do to him)
-THE POSSESSION SCENE WAS SO COOL?
-So he was hitting pomni! I remember a lot of debate about that.
-Kinger and Queenie were canonically married
-Kinger took 7 years of computer science
-Kinger has a SURPRISING amount of emotional intelligence.
-BEING IN THE DARK REMINDS OF HIM OF HIS LAST MOMENT WITH HIS WIFE I'M FUCKING CRYINGGG
-Kinger hated bugs, but now he loves them because they're a subconscious reminder of his entomology loving wife.
-The line "In this world, the worst thing you can do I make someone feel like they're not wanted or loved" paired with Mr. Mildenhall's story of mistaking his wife for the monster and killing her makes me think Kinger caused Queenie to abstract somehow.
"Don't worry about me. As long as you remember, things will be okay. You're very strong pomni." â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
Pomni canonically hates physical tough, but felt trusting and comfortable enough with Kinger to hold his hand.
Fucking sapphics
"FUCK-"
-Caine turning Zooble's therapy session into his own is so him omg
-"Welcome back my meowing milkmaids!" CRAZY.
-Kinger's new side wasn't actually all that surprising. Neither was him being the 'supportive dad' type. but i LOVE it
-KINGER VINYL FIGURE AHH NEED!!
This is my fave episode so far!! I love this show augh
#the amazing digital circus#tadc caine#tadc kinger#tadc pomni#tadc ragatha#tadc gangle\#tadc jax#tadc zooble
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How about the bishops with a reader that has a ton of different scars? Some they tell stories about, about some they grumble and laugh, and when asked about some they avert their gaze while chuckling and change the subject?
Leshy
He can't really see the scars, but you allow him to feel them and trace his fingers over each one.
Of course, you'll be guiding his hand the entire time should he ask you to, sharing stories about them all the while.
Your tales vary from fights, attacks by Darkwood creatures, clumsy accidents, and a few near-death scenarios you barely got away from....all of which have happened on several missionaries you've undertaken in his name.
There are a few you'd rather not speak of for various reasons.
Including a nasty gash on your cheek that you got from one of the Lamb's attacks, not wanting him to know you failed to kill them.
Leshy 100% understands if you're uncomfortable with talking about specific ones.
He hates it when people ask about his eyes, so he gets it.
It's no different after you both end up in Lamb's cult, although it's easier for him to feel your scars and be closer to you.
If he overhears anybody talking shit about them, he's gonna throw hands (and by that, I mean he'll bite them).
Kallamar
Seeing one of his finest warriors marred with so many scars makes him proud..and yet worried at the same time.
Infection was certainly a risk, so he'll heal any ones that appear new should he deem it necessary.
Although he doesn't ask many questions about where they came from, he does like to remind you that his blessings are a privilege, thus he won't always do this for you every time you get injured.
It's his subtle way of saying "please take care of yourself" without saying it outright.
Never really hears the stories you tell to your fellow followers (not because he doesn't care...he's just deaf af).
But after you both arrive to Lamb's cult, he asks you about them and you explain where you got most of them from.
The coolest ones--at least in your opinion anyways--are the bites from wrestling rogue sharks, barracudas, etc. for food.
Kallamar is both amazed and slightly more terrified of you now.
He sometimes feels bad that he can't heal you up if you get a new scar, but you reassure him Lamb's been keeping you in good health.
Shamura
As a proud warrior of Silk Cradle (and one of Shamura's personal bodyguards), you had the scars to show your fighting experience.
Everything from bug bites to claw marks to flames--you had a lot of stories to share and did so willingly.
Especially to Shamura, although they tend to forget at times...
They even sometimes believe you had more scars than you did yesterday, asking if the one on your arm is new.
Or they may just stare...and you immediately see the concern in your lord's eyes.
But you gently remind them that it's been there for weeks.
It's no different after they arrive in Lamb's cult, with you following suit.
They forgot about every scar you had, and honestly looked a little scared when you approached them and they saw them all over your body.
Once they calm down, though, and get more settled into the cult, you'll reshare stories of your scars (or at least ones you're comfortable sharing), answering whatever questions they may have.
If they ever ask about one that's a particularly painful memory, you'll just subtly change the subject, insisting they rest their head.
Heket
She overheard her cultists listening to your stories about your scars during a feast, and she can't help but eavesdrop.
"And this one? From trying to help the Mushroomos carry a box of menticide mushrooms....it was a splinter." You shake your head as the people beside you laugh. "Embarrassing, I know."
While Heket never says anything outright about your scars, she's impressed that you're proud to wear them.
The one thing she doesn't know is that you've gotten into a fight with the Lamb themselves and miraculously survived.
However the resulting scar(s) weren't too pretty..and you weren't too proud of them, either.
So you tended to them in private, keeping them a secret as you didn't want her finding out you failed to kill that little sheep.
Only after you and her arrive to Lamb's cult do you finally tell her all about them, knowing she can't really retaliate now.
You decide to show her the scar(s)...
And to your surprise she's still able to eat her lunch while staring at them, intrigued.
She did always think you were a great fighter.
#clanask#anonymous#cult of the lamb x reader#cotl x reader#bishop leshy#bishop kallamar#bishop shamura#bishop heket#leshy x reader#kallamar x reader#shamura x reader#heket x reader#headcanons#platonic#tw scars
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Mona x Tina Toxic Yuri Headcanons because Iâm a bad person đŤđ¸đŞđ§
Yaâll can blame @dollsleeper for giving me the toxic yuri bug. I am officially a Tona shipper thanks to them XD
TW: references to sexual assault, stockholm syndrome, stalking and abuse
â ď¸ Mona didnât think much of Tina when she first laid eyes on her, she was just another piece of meat to be used in her art, what really made her fall in love with Tina was when she heard her scream. She heard so many screams before her and always took twisted pleasure in hearing the screams of her victims but Tinaâs screams just hit different, it was like a beautiful song to her and she wanted to hear it forever. Ironically, Tinaâs screaming was what saved her life because it made Mona do what she never did with any of her victims⌠she hesitated in killing her. Mona would have many lesbian thoughts about Tina since that fateful day, she often wondered how soft her hair must be and how much she yearned to smell the perfume on her body again.
â ď¸ Mona became completely obsessed with Tina after hearing that beautiful scream of herâs and would end up stalking her for the next two years, memorizing her schedule, occasionally stealing her belongings but she didnât make a move on her until after watching her interview. Mona took Tinaâs âonce youâve been to hell, you donât come backâ quote as a sign that Tina wanted to come back to her, like a piece of her was still with Mona since that day and she was beckoning Mona to take her back⌠It was the most romantic thing Mona has ever heard in her life.
â ď¸ Mona actually tries to make sure Tina is as comfortable as possible. She took her beautiful, bloodstained lace bedsheets with her to put over the dirty mattress she has Tina placed on, she actually cooks her food even if they donât turn out right most of the time, sheâll cuddle up with her if she looks like sheâs cold, sheâll check to see if the pretty pink collar she picked out for her isnât too tight, she even bathes her semi-frequently.
â ď¸ Tina is constantly trying to fight off the warm, fuzzy feelings that Mona gives her. She doesnât want to admit how much she melts when Mona touches her thigh, she hates how good she feels when Mona says things like âyou inspire me so muchâ and âyouâre so pretty when you cryâ, she finds herself actually blushing when Mona compliments her. Every day is an inner war to stop herself from falling in love with the woman who killed everyone around her, dismembered her and now keeps her hostage in what looks and smells like a lived in sewer.
â ď¸ Tina hates herself for finding Mona so pretty, sheâs a monster, one who killed her sister, her boyfriend and her mother, mutilated her, keeping her alive just to treat her like some kind of toy or pet⌠and yet she thinks her long, black hair is so pretty, her eyes so beautifully haunting, the expressions she makes when she paints those horrible portraits are strangely charming, that course yet oddly soothing voice that makes her feel a strange combo of fear and comfort. She just canât keep Mona out of her head and she hates it.
â ď¸ Mona loves to doll up Tina, dressing her up in pretty outfits and doing her makeup, trying out different hairstyles, she would even do her nails if she still had hands. Tina hates this but sheâs learned not to fight back, having come to fear making Mona angry and besides, every day, against her better judgement she likes Monaâs games of dress up a tiny bit more. Mona knows this too, remembering the time when Tina blushed after Mona said she had good fashion sense.
â ď¸ Mona and Tina surprisingly have a lot of common. They both have a major sweet tooth, they both have a love for nature even though Tina is a deer girl and flower enjoyer while Mona is a rat and bug lady who collects molds, spores and fungus, they both have artistic talent and an interest in the arts (Tina being a knitter and sewer) and they even have a shared quirk in a tendency to play around with their hair when bored or anxious.
â ď¸ Tina is bisexual but sheâs kept her sexuality a secret from her mother since sheâs a conservative christian type and she feared she wouldnât accept her if she found out, Jack and Flora both knew however. It can be surmised that Mona is pan since she has a very âa hole is a holeâ mentality when it comes to sex but she wouldnât identify as pansexual since she doesnât really care for labels.
â ď¸ Shockingly, Mona hasnât gone too far in forcing herself upon Tina. She could easily subject her to her darkest, sexual fantasies like she has done to so many others and you better believe sheâs had some real devious thoughts and yet the worst sheâs done to her is groping/squeezing her breasts and thighs on a regular basis or licking her face. Tina of course is horrified and disgusted by these acts and yet⌠why does her face and nethers feel so warm when she does it? And why does she whimper and mew the way she does when Mona bites her neck and shoulders even when she draws blood? And why does she always kind of look forward to when Mona cuddles up to her even when sheâs soaking in blood?âŚ
â ď¸ Bill is VERY jealous of all the attention Tina gets from Mona and is always thinking about murdering and getting rid of her so that he can be Monaâs âfavoriteâ again but has enough smarts left to know that he would be severely punished, maybe even killed if he did so he has no choice but to grit and bare it. His patience will always be tested when Mona talks about her while theyâre out murdering like when Mona finds some kind of accessory or article of clothing and will ask Bill âdo you think Tina would like this?â. Bill will scare the shit out of Tina when Mona isnât around in a vain attempt at revenge against her.
#mona x tina#tona#toxic yuri#headcanons#mona lanius#tina rosenburg#bill collins#urbanspook#urbanspook the painter#the painter#also yes the dividers are suppose to represent mona and tina respectively and the general vibes I get from themâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
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