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JJ MAYBANK x READER
Summary: The Kooks show up on the beach and JJ defends you
I was with the Pogues all day, like any other day. The sun was shining and the waves were awesome. We woke up that morning and quickly went to the beach. It seemed like everybody had that idea, the beaches filled up within ten minutes it seemed. We got the Twinkie to the beach, well John B did, but not without almost crashing since he was drinking. I tried to tell him to stop, but there was no telling that kid what to do.
I never really was taught how to surf, but that didn't stop me from going out there and just sitting on my surfboard. JJ has tried to help me, but I'm just not very coordinated, to say the least, but he still loves me. I watched everybody surf for a while before deciding to go back to the beach. As I was walking back to the Twinkie, I saw a Jeep start driving over my way. I knew it was Topper and his goons as soon as I saw the vehicle. I sat down on one of the folding chairs we had set up before going to the water, trying to ignore them. I watched as he parked next to us. "What the hell is he doing?" I heard someone ask, looking to see Kie walking over to me.
"I have no clue," I replied, "I just hope no drama happens. It's a nice day and I would hate to have it ruined by them.” I looked over to see Topper, Kelce, Rafe, and Ruthie. I've never liked Topper, but I don't think he's a bad person. I think he's so focused on Kooks versus Pogues, that nothing else matters. It's always been a competition between the two. "I don't understand how he goes from Sarah," I gesture over to Sarah, still surfing, "to Ruthie." I look over to where the Kooks are and see Ruthie glaring at us.
"Well, it's simple," Kie started, "he had the best with Sarah, and now he's just, well, desperate." We both chuckled. I looked over at Kie and saw her grabbing a beer from the cooler, she raised one up to me and I shook my head. I know that there should be at least one of us sober to drive home. "Kie, we're being real mean girls-esque right now," I pointed out. She shrugged her shoulder before responding to me, "Trust me, she's said way worse about us." Kie came over and sat next to me. We sat there for a while before we heard someone walking over to us.
"Hey, can you tell your asshole boyfriend to stop hogging all the waves?" I look up and see Ruthie talking to me, not even acknowledging Kie. I look out and see JJ standing up on his board, noticing Topper doing the same thing before jumping off into the water due to JJ getting in front of him. If it was any other situation I would mention something, but I also know JJ wouldn't do that to someone else. "Ruthie, I can't control what he does," I look up to her hovering over me, "he's out there and I'm over here." She rolls her eyes at me, "You're such a bitch. Can't you just do something for once in your life?" she asks me, it was more of a statement than anything.
"Ruthie," I stand up and walk in front of her, "if JJ comes over here, I'll say something, but until then, how about you go back to your friends and leave us alone." I turned around and started to walk over to the Twinkie, looking at Kie and rolling my eyes at the whole interaction. I didn't get too far before I felt hands on my back, pushing me forward. "What the fuck," I heard Kie shout before coming over to me. I looked back at Ruthie and rolled my eyes at her. “Can't believe you were ever a Kook," she said with attitude before walking away from us.
Kie started to go after her, wanting to protect her friends, but I pulled her back, "Kie, it's not worth it," I told her, "they'll just turn it into our fault if you do anything." She tries to argue with me, but I just sit back down in the chair, trying to forget the interaction. I'm fiddling with my nails when I hear someone ask, "Hey, you good?" I look up to find a shirtless JJ jogging over to me with his board under his arm. I look over and see Sarah and John B getting some drinks from the cooler. I didn't even notice they were back. I nodded my head at JJ and gave him a small smile. He came and squatted down to be level with me, he took my hands, "What happened?"
"Ruthie," I replied looking back down, "she came over and was talking shit. Normal Kook behavior." I looked up at him before I heard Kie, "She pushed her, but your girlfriend over there decided to take the high road. Wouldn't even let me go after her." I looked over at Kie and gave her a look, not wanting her to have said anything. I look back to JJ who is looking over at the group of Kooks. "JJ, it's fine," I tell him placing my hand on his cheek, trying to calm the storm that is forming. He quickly stood up and started walking over to them. I quickly got up and went after him to stop him, but not before Topper yelled over at us, "Oh, look who it is, the Pogue prince and princess."
I took JJ's hand in mine, trying to calm him down. I felt him squeeze my hand tighter, letting me know he was fine. "Topper, let's cut the bullshit," JJ said in an annoyed voice, "all we wanted to do was enjoy the waves and the nice weather but you always seem to be right there, ruining it; your girlfriend too." Topper chuckles at JJ and gets closer to him, "I'm not the one ruining it. You pushed me off my board, and Ruthie here was just defending me."
"I didn't push you off your board, you jumped off," he stated with a small smirk on his lips. "Plus, you had been getting in front of us every other time, I thought it was a competition." Topper scoffs at JJ. I had only seen JJ get in front of Topper that one time, but it didn't surprise me that they had been getting in front of JJ beforehand. "Yup," Topper dramatically throws his hand up in the air, "it's always the damn Kooks fault with you guys."
"Seriously Top," I interrupted getting closer to him, "You've always hated the Pogues, don't act all high and mighty. You've started shit with them so many times I can't even remember. Even when we were friends you were an asshole to them." He looks at me with wide eyes, "I can't imagine what Sarah ever saw in you." As I turn my back away from him, I'm quickly pushed to the ground. "What the fuck!" I hear JJ yell before helping me off the ground. I wipe the sand off my legs and turn to face them. Ruthie was smirking at me, proud of herself. Topper was staring at her with a hint of anger in his face.
"Don't ever fucking touch her again," JJ said to Ruthie, but it was directed towards the entire group. I started walking away, not wanting to even be on the beach anymore. I overheard JJ add, "Don't even come near her or I'll fucking end you."
I heard his feet shuffle in the sand to catch up with me. He took my hand and faced me towards him. "I'm so sorry princess," he said before he engulfed me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and he placed a kiss on the top of my head. "If they ever bother you again," he says and places his hands on either side of my face, looking at me, "please tell me." I shook my head at him before he put his arms around me and pulled me into another hug. I've never felt more safe than when I'm in his arms.
We walk back to where the rest of the group is standing. They started asking questions about what happened and we told them. "How was I ever with him before you," Sarah asks looking over at John B. He shrugs his shoulders before we all chuckle at her, trying to in fact imagine what she saw in Topper. We packed up our things and left soon after, not wanting to be on the beach any longer.
We drove home and quickly unpacked our things before we went to the house. We were stopped at the door by Pope, with bloody hands. The atmosphere taking a drastic change from earlier.
I started this with a different ending in mind, but it didn't go in that direction so here we are... Not my favorite but it's what I got lol
#masterlist#fanfic#request#requests open#jj maybank#jj maybank x reader#jj obx#obx#jj x reader#outerbanks jj#outer banks#obx fanfiction#obx fic#obx x reader
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Post Mortem 9-1-1 Mid Season:
What's next for B and E? That question's already ANCIENT. Nothing! Same old, same old. The B*dd*e-tinged interviews are rolled out ad nauseam and read like clickbait. Don't they get that actors can't give away what they don't know? Not even the showrunner knows what he is going to do beyond episode 8.10.
Am I mean when I say I want someone to move somewhere else? Only briefly. Intermittend, like a rainshower. For shock value, like the ungodly breakup with the bitter aftertaste still lingering, that left not only the audience baffled but also someone involved.
Playing devil's advocate: if the show isn't renewed, we will see E leaving and B staying behind in LA with his shitshow of life, all alone, and everyone loses (as this was ever about winning or losing...).
The name of the first episode of the season, “Buzzkill,” unintentionally became the central idea. There was a lot of buzz about nothing, and the mood was also killed along the way.
After the first half of episodes aired, and we are now on a break for the next three months, the season has lost momentum and drive and is drifting more into mediocrity. Less Brad would definitely have been more because then Tim could have devoted himself to more important aspects of the series as previously hyped plots were either remodeled or insufficiently and carelessly executed.
Also, where does all that leave the rom-com aspect T and O bragged about? So far, we didn't have much to laugh about except for the posts of the niche fandom, which I've not taken seriously or even looked at for some time now.
Jumpscare, if I come across one of theirs and the posts peppered with deliberately profane language to attract as much attention as possible. However, most other fans scroll already past, bored or annoyed, because this excess of stupidity and primitiveness is hard to beat.
#bucktommy#tevan#evan buckley#tommy kinard#oliver stark#lou ferrigno jr#911 on abc#911 season 8#tim minear#911 recap
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Been thinking recently about this oddly specific trope of a character being emotionally vulnerable or honest in order to be able to connect with a kid they empathize with. I have slightly mixed feelings about it. On one hand it can be overdone, to where the child feels like a cardboard cutout just to elaborate on the protagonist’s traumatic backstory, but there are also a lot of cases that I liked it or thought it was done in an impactful way.
so I figured I’d walk through a handful of examples of this trope (does it have a name???) and give my personal thoughts on each. Spoilers for the episodes referenced of course. Because of image limit this will be part 1 of 2 and I’ll link the second when I get it up.
Supernatural S01E03.
This is one of my favorite iterations of this. Lucas's turmoil, fear, and mutism were portrayed with enough effort and thoughtfulness for him not to just feel like a cardboard cutout, and the way Dean interacted with him felt in-character while still showing a softer side to him. There's also a strong plot reason (Lucas being the only eye-witness) to drive their interactions, making each scene feel like it was striving for an important purpose instead of just ham-fisting 'traumatic backstory' angst.
The scene in the park is what really starts it off. The guy who couldn't name three children he knew a couple scenes earlier, has to try to coax answers out of a traumatized mute kid about said trauma. We see Dean meeting Lucas where he is (draws with him), tries to identify what Lucas might be feeling, ("Well, maybe you don't think anyone will listen to you.") reassures ("I want you to know that I will.") and doesn't push it when Lucas seems unforthcoming.
While this scene overall is very soft and endearing, we get very little of Dean talking explicitly about his own trauma, just one vague line "When I was your age, I saw something." The whole scene is about what Lucas is feeling. Dean's feelings are there too, the audience is already supposed to be drawing parallels, but they are kept on the peripheral.
Then later in the episode we get the next Lucas and Dean scene. We've watched someone else die, upping the stakes. Here is where we really get the emotional vulnerability from Dean in a few blunt, heartbreaking, lines. Even more than that, we get a glimpse at Dean's why. Why the bravado, why he is the way he is. We also have this whole confession observed by Dean's younger brother, which -- trust me as an older sibling -- is excruciating.
Overall I think this works because a) Dean has a strong reason to be this emotionally vulnerable, there are literally lives resting on his ability to get through to Lucas. b) it had the space to be built up in multiple scenes throughout an entire episode and c) Dean is the exact type of character that needs some sort of push to be this emotionally vulnerable and earnest, so the trope just fits.
Magnum PI S01E01
This one is what I'd consider a slightly meh version of the trope. Not trying to offend anyone who found this scene specifically meaningful, but it fell flat to me. The intro joking about the dogs was good, Magnum trying to comfort his dead friend’s son was a good idea, but the “when I was your age, I lost my dad too” kinda lost me. I get he was trying to empathize with the kid, but it ended up feeling like the show was just trying to be like “look! He has a dead dad!”. Additionally the character of this kid felt flat and I don’t remember if he ever even cropped back up in the story outside of this episode or ever had a shred of personality.
In my opinion it might have worked better if they’d had Magnum talk about Nuzo instead of his father. Nuzo is the person both he and the kid cared about and lost, and while it still might have felt cheesy I think it would have felt more anchored to what the rest of the episode is about and helped to get the audience to empathize even more with the grief over a dead friend that drove the whole narrative for the pilot.
I really enjoyed the show overall, don’t get me wrong, and I’ll have another example of this trope in part two of this which — spoilers — I enjoyed a lot.
Would love to hear other people’s opinions of this if anyone sees it, and I invite disagreement.
#media analysis#my screencaps#screenshots#screencaps#supernatural#spn#spn S01E03#character tropes#tropes#magnum pi#dean winchester#sam winchester#thomas magnum#analysis#opinion heavy
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Did I give O'Connor a phobia that I have... Yes do I care, no! Having perfect characters is so boring! I'm currently cleaning out my drafts I promise I'll start writing my story soon!
O'Connor has never liked riding in cars, very specifically cars. She can handle being on a boat going at top speed, she can handle being in a helicopter making evasion maneuvers, hell shes loved the few times she's driven a motorcycle or ATV. But for whatever reason she hates being in cars, a small part of her knows it is trauma from being in the car crash that killed her mother and crippled her father. But even before the accident she hated being in those vehicles.
Price learned early on into his deployment with Sergeant O'Connor not to put her behind the wheel or near the front. He sees how she clams up, trying her best not to shake like a leaf. She'll never admit it nor argue against driving when told too. Hell there's been a few times where her twitchiness behind the wheel has saved his and his team's asses. That doesn't mean he won't do his damnedest to keep her in the back away from the windows.
Ghost notices his new Captain is a bit nervous, it radiates off her in waves. She was fine up until they had to get into the dingy little pickup, he noticed her hesitation to drive like a deer ready to run at the faintest sound. She only calmed a little when Ghost got into the driver's seat, but her leg is bouncing so hard she might punch a hole through the rusty bottom of the truck. And when he asked if something was wrong, she was short and clipped. The polar opposite of how she interacted with him this entire mission, it's their first time on the field together. It's just them and yet she's never once steamed rolled over him like all his other captains have... Wel not Price but everyone else. No instead she asked for his opinion on every major decision and she actually listens to his suggestions adding to them or just going with them. He's worried but it soon disappears as they reach their stop, he watches her basically bolt out of the truck as soon as it stops. And only then does it dawn on him why the sudden change and he relaxes again.
Gaz is an excellent driver, he knows this, it's a point of pride for him. So he's a bit miffed when he notices the doctor gripping the oh-shit handle for dear life as he speeds through snowy hills of middle of nowhere Canada. He's used to seeing people smiling and enjoying themselves when he drives like this. There's no danger chasing after to warrant this kind of stress from O'Connor but it's there. He slows a bit much to the disappointment of himself and Roach who sat in the back. He watches as O'Connor calms a bit from the corner of his eye and he feels a little hurt. It isn't until he watches her when someone else is driving does it click, it's not just him... Though his speed didn't seem to help.
Roach finds it very odd that at every chance she gets O'Connor sits in the back seats, even though she would be far more comfortable in the front. It baffles him every time she gives the seat to someone else including himself but he's never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. It isn't until Soap and Gaz spell it out to him does he notice the panic she holds in her body even in the back seats. He takes it upon himself to distract the doctor while in transit. He's had varying degrees of success but he's noticed a pattern. When O'Connor can't see the road she's calmer, prefers to not have a window to see outside. He does his best to help her on the more stressful drives, it's only fair she's helped him with a million of his own fears.
Soap is a smart man, he's also observant, despite what people think. So he picks up on O'Connor's tension when she's riding with himself, Ghost, Alejandro, and Rudy through Las Almas. At first he thought it was due to being in a car full of men but he quickly wrote that off as soon as they met the rest of Alejandro's team. Her tension was slow to creep in when they're driving and it's only when they're in the cars. He thought it was interesting how well she handled everything else but as soon as they started driving it was tension. He also knows she calms a bit when they speak gaelic, much to the chagrin of their traveling companions. But if it helped his friend calm down then he'll deal with the confused stares.
The boys all agree behind O'Connor's back that if given the option they won't drive, if they have to she gets the middle seat and either Roach or Soap are to sit next to her. Price feels a bit of fatherly pride when they bring it up to him, knowing they're willing to help O'Connor the best they can without being told outright to do so.
#captain john price#gary roach sanderson#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty#cod soap#cod roach#cod ghost#cod 141#cod gaz#cod price#cod mwii#codmw#cod#modern warfare#call of duty mw2#task force 141#tf 141#cod oc#cod original character#oc
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I have been DYING to get a minute to sit down and write out my thoughts about this because oooooooh boy you really got my brain racing with this one.
Echo and Fives have been so much of a package deal that they’ve fallen into a pattern they’re both comfortable with. Echo has a level head, confidence, and he’s very comfortable with authority figures. Fives is passionate and fiery but he also gets antsy with waiting around. The having to think about what’s coming next really gets to him whereas Echo doesn’t get that nervous.
I have noticed that there are several times Fives follows Echo’s lead, lets him take the front, and Echo is their voice. Often when you’re so intertwined with someone else you can tend to fall into patterns that work for you and I think it’s totally possible that happened for Fives and Echo.
Echo just does so well with structure, mediating, strategy and the planning process. It seems to get him more ready to get moving. Hearing about what’s going on, their mission, how they’re going to help, just gets him fired up to get going. He is never hesitant to state exactly what he thinks and he is a compelling man. When he believes in something he’s hard to ignore. Fives just wants to get out there and do it. The more he has to hear about how bad it is, how many steps it’s going to take, how dangerous it is, the more nervous he becomes. It’s like he has this anxiety about having to hear about it, sit with it, know it’s coming. The anticipation drives him up a wall he would really rather just do it and let his adrenaline do the talking.
Echo is so comfortable in the structure of it all. He likes having rules and boundaries and he likes knowing how to bend them. He’s confident, which is something I love about him. And Fives is confident too just in the ‘doing’ phase more so than the ‘planning’ phase.
I like the idea that they level each other out. That they need each other for different things. An equal and balanced partnership. A partnership that is shaken to its core at the Citadel. Fives has to learn to make up for the balancing act he lost.
And in a lot of ways he does. He changes. It’s so clear to me that by Umbara there is something different about him. The way he fights for what he thinks is right is something I’ve just come to associate with Fives but I like seeing him grow into it, find ways to speak out, and make people see him. Fives is one of those characters that really grows into himself, ya know? We see him at a few different stages of life and see how he’s changed from his cadet years and I’ll always be proud of the man Fives became.
I know Echo is proud of him, too.
I’ve always loved the idea that Echo was 60% of the chaos of the domino twins. Fives gave a good 40% of it but mostly held on for dear life and made sure Echo had someone backing him up. He knew Echo would have his back, would stand up for them and would recite every regulation he could remember to get them out of hot water. Echo may not be able to lie one bit but if he can use his knowledge against you he’s golden. The second they had a plan Fives would be all for it, ready to go, jumping in as fast as he could, but Fives knew to let Echo do the talking if they got caught so he could get them out of the hole they’d dug themselves.
I don’t know really where I was going with this just that I love it and can’t get enough of these two 🩶
Fives Thoughts
Sooooo I literally just made a post being like 'here are some fun bits from Umbara because the arc is depressing and I don't wanna talk about the sad bits' but uh... I had thoughts in the last 15 mins and now I wanna share them. 😃
And of course tagging as usual for people I'm interested to hear opinions from: @saturn-sends-hugs @inkstainedhandswithrings @the-bi-space-ace
It's been a while since I watched these story arcs back-to-back, so a lot of the character development is really showing atm. And one I find interesting is a shift in Fives between The Citadel and Umbara.
Fives has always had a bit of a firey personality, but up until this point he's been a little bit held back with that passion for the most part. And I'm gonna touch in something that @novaceleste and @spaceyjessa spoke about in their podcast (@coffeeandclones I was just listening to it the other day and they talk about some interesting points. Defo recommend you check it out. Also #JusticeForDroidbait2024) because it really is the basis for this whole point. Despite Fives being the brasher, slightly more hardheaded personality, and Echo being the more by-the-books one, it's Echo that tends to do a lot of the talking when authority is involved. When they speak to Shaak Ti, it's Echo that takes the lead, while Fives is a little more hesitant.
And when they first meet Rex and Cody, Fives automatically introduces himself as CT-27-5555, despite being very open about his displeasure of being called that throughout their training. He has this louder personality but he tends to draw into himself and panic slightly when put in front of authority.
However, he still has these more fiery moments, like during his speech in ARC Troopers. When he's put in a fight, that spark within him comes out full force. "My blood is boiling for a fight." That's what drives Fives. That's where that passion comes from. He always wanted to make ARC trooper, to prove himself and to demonstrate that fire in the fight.
And yet when we get to the Citadel, he's surprisingly nervous. Echo seems to be fairly on board with everything, he's listening intently, he's down with the plan. But Fives is rather hesitant and doesn't seem totally enthused about the whole thing. They've made ARC trooper, they're being included in a specialist mission, the things that Fives so desperately worked for. But now that they're here? He's really not comfortable with it.
And I think that Fives' passion and drive is so prominent in the heat of battle because his adrenaline is going, he's got the energy to burn and so that's when we see this fire in him. But in the quieter moments, the meetings, the in-between fights? He's nervous. Those are the moments where he can sit on it and really think about what they're up against. And what becomes really apparent is that Fives is absolutely terrified of the thing that fuels his fire. The thing he worked so hard for scares the absolute shit out of him. And for good reason.
But it's never been so much of an issue because he had Echo. Echo, who's more level headed, who feels comfortable with plans and formats and authority. He could be the comforting presence that Fives needed outside of battle, while Fives could be the spark in it. They're like fire and water. They keep each other regulated, balanced.
But then The Citadel happens.
And watching the Umbara arc, I noticed that Fives doesn't have that very noticeable fear. It's not that it's absent, it's just that it isn't so obvious all of the time. Of course, some of that is going to come with experience, he's been an ARC for longer, he's know Rex for a while so there's slightly more comfort with that level of authority, but he's definitely more consistently confident than he was before.
So my suggestion is, what if that comes as a result of losing Echo (at least in part)? He doesn't have that calming presence anymore, the one to balance his nerves. He doesn't have someone to stand firm beside him or take the bigger step for the two of them, so he's had to learn to do that himself. I think part of it is natural growth that comes with experience (to quote Rex: "experience outranks everything") but I do also think it comes with no longer having that constant other half. Fives has had to learn to balance himself.
Like I said earlier, a lot of this links back to stuff said in Nova and Jessa's podcast, so I'd recommend checking it out. But I just wanted to add my extra thoughts on it, having just watched Umbara, because it definitely stuck out to me on this rewatch.
#well I rambled hopefully it made sense 😅#thanks for tagging me I was literally buzzing thinking about getting home to write this 🩶
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#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd memes#bsd poe#bsd ranpo#ranpoe#if ranpo could drive a car he would do this#He also does this when someone else is driving
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mark your words, wei wuxian
(I have modern sports aus on the brain and decided that if we're taking away their swords we should at least arm them with sticks, so it became a hockey4hockey au)
#mdzs#wangxian#lan wangji#wei wuxian#lwj#wwx#modern au#sports au#wwx is very smug because his skates put him a couple inches taller than lwj#i have Opinions about wwx being the most annoying ice hockey players imaginable#he goes out of his way to find and use the weirdest tackiest stick tape possible - his current tape reads 'whatever'#and was a gift from jiang fengmian - to jiang cheng's general exasperation#wwx also definitely does that thing that's become popular in recent years where players mess with their mouth guards#again: drives jiang cheng crazy. drives lwj crazy in a different way#when wwx and lwj first met lwj was VERY studiously trying to ignore him and didn't give his name so wwx starts calling him er-gege#because his number is 2#my art#hopefully someone else enjoys htis because i've been rotating this around in my head all morning
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What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?
What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.
#my characters#this just in ! thats why all the deities in the plot have collars and a chain !#its because THATS THEIR DESIGNATED I AM HERE TO HELP THIS WORLD SYMBOL#they cant remove their collars and thats fine by them - its a constant reminder that they exist to serve#deacon really shouldnt get as much crap as he gets in canon for being weird cause the deities are just a different brand of weird#like its not deacons fault that apparently you can say nice neck with no underlying desire#but he cant say hi would you please possess me i want to know what its like to have someone else in my body#like thats really not something you should pin on deacon YET EVERY deity is like wow what a lil weirdo#he also just really wants to please ymber so if ymber asked he would definitely do whatever#on the flip side i need to point out that deacon very specifically doesnt ask ymber for things nor does he pray for things#and it drives ymber up a wall because this is his favorite human who wont ask for anything and he isnt a psychic#he doesnt know what deacon wants or needs and its infuriating cause he exists to serve humanity#and yet this ONE GUY wont let him do things for him#this is very important and i cant believe i mentioned it like a month ago to someone and today#i received gift art of these two and i may never recover#its so perfect and its ymber just looming over deacon telling him that he can pray about anything to him#its also worth pointing out that when i was telling the person about the whole ymber begging for a prayer#its because he realizes that after all this time hes never had a single prayer from deacon - not before nor after the hire#so hes like oh well thats odd hmm#and then begins to talk to deacon like you know people pray to me for lots of things#and deacon looks at him unsure of what this is leading to - did someone offer a weird prayer? ask a weird thing? whatst?#and no - its just ymber saying that people will pray for wealth or an item#or they will express frustration if something is lost or broken despite it not being ymbers fault so deacon just stares#he has no idea what this is going to end on really so he points out 'well you do like to think you break people'#and ymber just ASDFASDFSADF STOP OK NEXT POINT people pray to me to bless relationships with happiness#and thats fascinating so deacon is like wow can you actually do that?#and ymber is so stressed as hes like i mean kinda i can simply amplify the positive emotions in gestures#like if someone gives an item out of love then its blessed#he also admits that he cant mask insincerity or malice so those feelings are not hidden nor amplified#and deacon just is impressed bc that is actually VERY cool
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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I've had a stupid merlin au idea stuck in my head for days now and I know I'll never get around to writing it the way I want it written but I kinda wanna try anyway even though I am 100% of the target audience
#it's an f1 au btw#so I feel like a merlin x f1 crossovee is very niche#but I just have this idea in my head pf arthur as a driver and merlin as an aerodynamics engineer#and arthur starts off as an ass (as per usual) and thinks that he's god's gift to motorsports and all his good results are because of his#skill and bad results are because the engineers fucked up bad#and lowkey people don't like working with him BUT uther is giving red bull absolute mega bucks to keep him and he is actually a fantastic#driver in his own right. deep down he's not super satisfied though because people keep saying he's only winning because of his car#and his dad's money which is why he's a grumpy ass to most people and tries to claim good races as his and blame engineers for bad ones#also because uther probably taught him that attitude#in this au I think either Newey didn't exist but rb dominance still did or this is far enough after Newey that I haven't got arthur blaming#him for a bad car because y'all I can't do that it's too unrealistic no one would believe it#(yes I am aware that max and checo are currently complaining about a car newey made but shh)#anyway he secretly goes to sign for like. williams or something who currently suck so he can prove to himself and everyone else that he IS#a good driver and can drive a shit car well. he's admittedly doing fairly well in a tractor when merlin joins the team as the new head#of aerodynamics and arthur is giving him shit because he's so young and how could he possibly fix this shitbox#then Merlin's first big upgrade packages comes and makes a pretty big difference and arthur has to rethink a bit#the next season is the first car that merlin was actually mostly in charge of and it's a massive difference and suddenly it's competitive#meanwhile merlin's pov is that arthur sucks ass and he hates him but he keeps being told that arthur is his destiny#he refuses to believe this though and even though he has magic he point blank refuses to use it on anything that would help arthur even#somewhat indirectly like using it to help design the car. his official reasoning to people who know about his magic is that the fia wouldn't#allow it but personally he also just wants to say a fuck you to fate because he doesn't like arthur. but then they get to know each other#more and he realises that maybe arthur isn't that bad and they become friends like in the show#arthur is leading the championship (pendragon dominance could bore fans) but then he has a big crash and is out for a couple of races#by all accounts it's a miracle he's even alive (it's the only time merlin has used his magic for arthur). when he comes back he still has a#chance at wdc but it's way tighter than it was. maybe there's only a few races to go. he gets some podiums and his competition has some bad#luck (genuine not merlin) or something but then at like the second last race he can guarantee wdc if he wins regardless of where anyone else#places. he does it and merlin is the one to go on the podium with him on behalf of the team (maybe not for winning wdc but just his first#win after the crash idk) and it's this big emptional moment#also morgana was as good as arthur as kids but uther only supported arthur so now she works for sky or someone in a role like nico rosberg
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i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal
#''poor teachers!!'' yeah well at least they can fucking quit & go work somewhere else#''okay but times are different than when you went to school in the 1970's'' this was 2016 my guy. shut the fuck up#''well maybe you were a violent & severely misbehaving kid!'' i wasn't. i have ADHD & severe anxiety disorder & depression#my biggest crime was being too exhausted & dopamine deprived to do my homework#my dad talks about how he was treated in school & i'm like damn dude i went through the same exact shit#how is it that a majority of teachers & principals are still abusive power-tripping pieces of shit 60 years later#why haven't things changed#well actually the answer is simple & it's because they want disabled people to disappear#& if abled students that simply disagree with the way things are done get caught in the crossfire then that is acceptable#because anyone not fit to make billionaires a billion more dollars should just die!#anyways here are my original tags from that gravity falls post i just reblogged:#I know this is supposed to be an appreciation post but like. ''for being the ''dumb one'' he's surprisingly rational.'' seriously??#as ''the dumb'' but ''surprisingly rational'' one of my family this is THEE biggest misunderstanding & it drives me up the fucking wall#just because a person struggles in one area doesn't mean they're stupid & should be an irrational dumb dumb idiot baby holy fuckkk#sorry to OP but even when people try to ''appreciate'' stuff like this they can't help but throw in insults#simply because they genuinely believe that ''even though you're stupid you SURPRISINGLY act competent sometimes'' is a compliment#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024#both Stanley & Stanford are smart & competent & rational#they just show it in different ways & exceed in different (sometimes overlapping) subjects#this is normal for human beings but the big societal scam is that if you don't do it in the way Ford does then you're stupid & a failure#& being surprised that Stan is also smart & competent in his own ways is the biggest sing that you fucking fell for it dude#btw before i get @ ed for this. i WAS that kid#i was so much that kid the school actually diagnosed me with stupid & spiteful & i was told to quit while i was ahead (they failed me befor#obviously this is very personal for me but also i don't think people realize the language they use is on purpose & it's used specifically t#& it's still happening right now & that just. makes me wanna cry honestly#like why are people still surprised that people can specialize in something despite bad grades in school#you know. the thing we all know is literally rigged to either put you in jail or in a factory to make billionaires more money.#man sorry for the rant the original spirit of the post is super correct but like fuck HS grade-centric judging of people's entire character#Stan being able to defeat Bill is just not at all surprising if you were him or knew/know someone like him#or really paid any attention at all to the show while watching it
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my dad is literally the person my anxiety worries everyone else is like
people will be like "nobody cares what you look like/do/whatever" and then there's my dad lmao
mum and sister are good at being judgemental on general, but dad always gets so pissed off
just the other day getting mad at someone who was still learning (had Fahrschule sign) for... idk, I think they were just going slow?
so. like. bestie why are y'all surprised India scared to learn how to drive ahshsab
#cylas speaks#he also does the thing where he'll drive really close behind someone who goes 'too slow' in order to make them switch lane#just no consideration for other people#yeah anxiety has me convinced everyone around me is always judging me and probably getting upset when i do something wrong#but it's not unfounded! i have that exact example irl right in front of my eyes! not directed at me but everyone else! so why would i#not believe that most other people are like that too!#my online space is pretty open minded and positive and accepting etc#going out with family can be wild#like gods above and below just let people wear clothes#why do you care so much what others look like#just mind your own business#being kind costs nothing just keeping shit to yourself costs nothing if you got nothing nice to stay keep quiet is2g#doing stuff like not shaving and wearing shorts despite cellulite was quite a step bc i know my family comments on those things on others
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#girls what does it mean when you see an old crush who you’ve been trying to forget about#but forgetting about him went out the window when you saw him again and you short circuited the whole night#girls. what does it mean when there’s a really great guy that you know who you’re also on the fence about that you see at least twice a wee#who just so happens to check all boxes#girls…. what does it mean when there’s another who looks at you often who you also may or may not like#who you also catch the glance of often. and at one point you did and he turned and kind of smiled and you didn’t know what to do.#what does it mean that no matter the situation I can always see that one. no matter what. he was always in eye shot.#IS* always in eye shot#what does it mean when he’s a musician and i am wanting to actually learn an instrument and he is someone who could help me#what does it mean when every time he sees me he draws my name out. no one else has done that in years.#girls.#what am i doing.#don’t actually answer im just driving myself up a wall for no good reason :)#nobody’s listening L
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rgrhrgrhgr going insane thinking about how I have felt so much love and affection for a character from a card game anime of all things!! for over two years!!! one of the most frustrating guys ever nonetheless!!!!
#bakura i love you HOWEVER i also simultaneously want to shake you vigorously because!!! what! is!! your!!! PROBLEM!!!!#god i love him so much. have for over two years. isn’t that insane??#what happened to the days i would excitedly text my friend about every time he showed up in the manga#or how i’d get so hyped when he got screen time or attention in the anime or games#how shy i’d get about f/oing him because such and such#trying to downplay how much i actually liked him#it’s so funny i don’t even remember when he started getting most of my attention lol it just. kinda happened#so funny how that works it was mostly like that for the other boys too#not to say i don’t still get hyped about him getting attention and his scenes etc#because i do. but it’s just different now i guess#deeper affinity for him or something i don’t know#just insane that i can love someone this much. someone who is SOOOO FRUSTRATING!!!!!#ghfhfbf i love my sharp edgy boyfriend though even if he drives me insane with everything he does </3#he’s everything to me though. all of his wrongs and all of the bad parts of him and all of the angst and whatever else#he’s been with me for over two years i don’t know how i couldn’t adore every bit of him <3#been thinking of doing a dm rewatch for the longest time… i just barely have any free space to do things between school and stuff >_<#i keep reminding myself that if i live through the rest of this school year and the next then i can mentally marry my boyfriends#and it’s unironically the one thing that gets me to finish and out effort into assignments sometimes AGSJDHJSS#not even ashamed to admit that. i will kiss those boys on the altar one day just you wait#anyway. rgrhrgh biting bakura over and over and over again I LOVE YOU!! STUPID!!! i also simultaneously Despise you#jk i could never. sometimes he pushes me to it though </3 KIDDING anyway i need to go stare at pictures of him for the next 30 mins#four of spades
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I'm watching queer eye and like. most times I can understand the fab5 and why they need to change/fix this person and the ways whatever they're teaching will help, but like. they're teaching etiquette to this total country rancher guy bc he wants to find a girl and settle down and he never learned that type of stuff and yeah manners and basic etiquette is important but rn they're focusing so much on dining and the amount of forks!! and no you can't dip your bread in soup you gotta tear a small piece and drop it in!! and you're absolutely terrible if you set your spoon on the table!!
idk man I'm super not vibing w this ep
#ignore me#maddie liveblogs queer eye#still in season 6. the bull rancher guy.#idk this whole ep is making me super uncomfy#idk just anytime the problem is 'peter pan syndrome' where the guy is happy and living his life fine but everyone else has issues w it?#just. as an autistic who also no doubt has 'peter pan syndrome' it just rly rubs me the wrong way#sure his living space and hygiene are less than ideal but idk I don't think he needed a whole intervention for that#and again!!! the etiquette stuff!!! why the frick!!!#who tf cares about which fork to use and soup spoons when he's a rancher cowboy in texas!!!!#and just. the whole time he's So Uncomfortable w everything#they keep playing it like 'ohoho he's just a conservative texan dealing w 5 gay guys for the first time!' but like.#he probably never asked for any of this? and you can tell how resistant he is to change. I get that. it's scary.#and p much everything he does has reason. for his business or for his heritage. it's super important to him and that's valid!!#and the fab5 come rushing in and tell him he needs to change if he wants to find a girl and settle down#and like. ok yes he needs to work on hygiene and his housing situation. but idk man karamo thinking etiquette lessons will be the best fix?#I still have like ten min left but man he's been so uncomfortable the whole time it's kinda heartbreaking#I do like tan and antony listening and going slowly and helping him ease into change#bc what they're doing is such a big change!!! for someone like him he needs to be eased into it#what they're doing is basically tossing him into the deep end of the pool to teach him how to swim and it's driving me nuts#ok sry I gotta shut up I'm just. rly not vibing w this episode and I'm bummed about it :\
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i want to talk about real life villains
Not someone who mugs you, or kills someone while driving drunk, those are just criminals. I mean VILLAINS.
Not like trump or musk, who are... cartoonishly evil. And not sexy villains, not grandiose villains, not even satisfyingly two dimensional villains it is easy to hate unconditionally. The real villains.
I had a client who was a retired executive for one of the big oil companies, i think it was Shell or Chevron. Had a home just outside of San Francisco that was wall to wall floor to ceiling full of expensive art. Literally. I once accidentally knocked a painting off the wall because it was hanging at knee height at the corner of the stairs, and it had a little brass plaque on it, and i looked up the name of the artist and it was Monet's apprentice and son-in-law, who was apparently also a famous painter. He had an original Andy Warhol, which should have been a prize piece for anyone to showcase -- it was hanging in the bathroom. I swear to god this guy was using a Chihuly (famous glass sculptor) as a fruit bowl. And he was like, "idk my wife was the one who liked art"
I was intrigued by this guy, because in the circles i run this dude is The Enemy. right? Wealthy oil executive? But as my client, he was... like a sweet grandpa. A poor widower, a nice old man, anyone who knew him would have called him a sweetheart. He had a slightly bewildered air, a sort of gentle bumbling nature.
And the fact that he was both of these things, a Sweet Little Old Man and The Enemy, at the same time, seemed important and fascinating to me.
He reminded me of some antagonist from fiction, but i couldn't put my finger on who. And when i did it all made sense.
John Hammond.
probably one of the most realistic bad guys ever written.
If you've only ever seen the movie, this will need some explaining.
Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic Park in 1990, and i read it shortly thereafter. In the movie, the dinosaurs are the antagonists, which imo erases 50% of the point of the story.
book spoilers below.
In the book, John Hammond is the villain but it takes the reader like half the book to figure that out. Just like my client, John is a sweet old man who wants lovely things for people. He's a very sympathetic character. But as the book progresses, you start to see something about him.
He has an idea, and he's sure it's a good one. When someone else dies in pursuit of his dream, he doesn't think anything of it. When other people turn out to care about that, he brings in experts to evaluate the safety of his idea, and when they quickly tell him his idea is dangerous and needs to be put on hold, he ignores his own experts that he himself hired, because they are telling him that he is wrong, and he is sure he is right.
In his mind, he's a visionary, and nobody understands his vision. He is surrounded by naysayers. Several things have proven too difficult to do the best and safest way, so he has cut corners and taken shortcuts so he can keep moving forward with his plans, but he's sure it's fine. He refuses to hear any word of caution, because he believes he is being cautious enough, and he knows best, even though he has no background in any of the sciences or professions involved. He sends his own grandchildren out into a life-threatening situation because he is willfully ignorant of the danger he is creating.
THIS is like the real villains of the world. He doesn't want anyone to die. Far from it, he only wants good things for people! He's a sweet old man who loves his grandchildren. But he has money and power and refuses to hear that what he is doing is dangerous for everyone, even his own family.
I think he's possibly one of the most important villains ever written in popular fiction.
In the book, he is killed by a pack of the smallest, cutest, "least dangerous" dinosaurs, because a big part of why we read fiction is to see the villains face thematic justice. But like a cigarette CEO dying of lung cancer, his death does not stop his creation from spreading out into the world to continue to endanger everyone else.
I think it is really important to see and understand this kind of villainy in fiction, so you can recognize it in real life.
Sweetheart of a grandfather. Wanted the best for everyone. Right up until what was best for everyone inconvenienced the pursuit of his own interests.
And my client was like that too. His wife had died, and his dog was now the love of his life, and she was this little old dog with silky hair in a hair cut that left long wispy bits on her lower legs. Certain plant materials were easily entangled in this hair and impossible to get out without pulling her hair which clearly hurt her. When i suggested he ask his groomer to trim her lower leg hair short to avoid this, he refused, saying he really liked her usual hair cut.
I emphasized that she was in pain after every walk due to the plant debris getting caught in her leg hair, and a simple trim could put an end to her daily painful removal of it, and he just frowned like i'd recommended he take a bath in pig shit and said "But she'll be ugly" and refused to talk about it anymore.
Sweet old man though. Everyone loved him.
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