#he’s everything to me though. all of his wrongs and all of the bad parts of him and all of the angst and whatever else
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༄“I would set the world on fire for you” | LN4 ⟢
Parings: lando norris x gf!reader.
Summary: after the Brazil GP, lando comes home to the worst week of his year. Also, it was his birthday. So even though the world hates him, you wanna make sure he is loved and he did nothing wrong. And that if you could you would set the world on fire for him.
Word count: +5k.
Warnings: angst and fluff at the same time. Anxiety attack. Overthinking. Selfhatred. Language. And that’s it. I’m not a native English speaker so there could be (so many) errors. Not proofread.
Author’s note: lately I NEED to write things to cope with my feelings so here it is. Hope Vegas is good to all of my boys 💌 don’t forget to like, reflow or comment! Ur support its way loved here. and follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)
MASTERLIST
Your heart was completely shattered. Your heart was racing to get out of your car at the airport. In exactly 20 minutes your boyfriend will be back home after the worst weekend ever imagined. You couldn't assist the Brazilian GP because of your work schedule. You had a few meetings after Mexico gp. And you felt so guilty about it. You knew lando would be more protected if you were there. At least in the intimacy of you, emotionally speaking. Having someone there for him to hug and to comfort him. to calm his mind. To stop the self hatred you knew it was playing right now in his head.
Lando is an overthinker and you get him because you were also one. You knew to which scenarios his mind can travel to and how painful it can be for him to live with himself sometimes. You were fighting your tears reading all of the atrocious things people commented online. You knew that wasn't real life. But you also knew he would see all that and how that would weigh in his heart. They can never let him win. And the worst part was only because it was just him. Other drivers could do or say worse things and everybody would laugh and brush it off. But when it came to Lando, he was a monster, a loser, an arrogant son of a bitch. That hurt deeply. Because in reality lando is the sweetest soul you have ever met. And you knew how vulnerable he could be. Tho you always admired him for that. You always thought that the bravest and strongest people in this world are the ones that admit to need help, the ones that are vulnerable and open about it. In a world this cruel, that was no easy task. But he did time and time again.and he did even knowing how shitty people were gonna be to him. Though, he did it for people he knew that counted on him. Lando always talks about how people sometimes come to him saying he has saved their lives and the impact he had on them. It's something beautiful yet that weighted on his shoulders as well, you thought.
You crossed the airport gates. Anxiety shaking your whole body. You wanted to hug him so bad. To tell him everything was gonna be fine.
You opened the flight information he sent you before his plane took off so you looked for the probable gate he was coming out of when landed. Even though you were anxious you were also relieved that he was home with you.
After a few minutes passed by, a lot of people started coming out of the door you were waiting for. You started gazing at everyone just to find him. After a bunch of people got out, there he was. One of the last ones to go through the door. When you saw him your body almost came undone. You were out of air for a moment while the two of you got closer. When he is finally within reach, you give him the strongest hug you could. He melted on you, hugging you by your neck. Not much time passed when you heard him crying hid in your neck. Your heart that was shattered, broke immediately. You tighter your grip unto him. He started to sob and you couldn't hold your own tears at that point. You knew he had the worst time on that flight, alone with his cruel thoughts torturing him for hours. And there was nothing that you could do to protect him. You couldn't say a word. There was nothing that you could say that it would make things better right now.
Lando was sobbing and shaking. His levels of anxiety reached a high when he saw you standing there looking for him desperately with your eyes. He needed you. But life’s a bitch and you couldn't stay with him throughout the whole American leg. He came undone in your arms. He needed to hug you for so long. He was broken. His mind replying to all the mistakes he made. All of his wrong decisions. All of the shit he said. He was embarrassed, angry and defeated. He was ashamed of himself. Disgusted. Frustrated and scared.
Yu rubbed his back trying to comfort him in the hug and trying to not cry so you could be the strong one for him. He needed you, you knew it. And you wanted to fix all of this in a snap of fingers, but you couldn't.
“It’s okay baby. You are gonna be alright, I promise. I love you. You’re home now ", Yu said, to make him feel at least slightly better. When he heard you he started sobbing even harder. You let him take all the time he needed. While doing so, you tried to see where you were and how you could, if someone was recording and taking a picture. Fortunately you were almost alone. It was the last flight arriving for today. You feel relieved knowing this won't be used against him by the cruel internet trolls.
(...)
The drive home was silent. No music, no speaking. He didn't even look at you the whole ride. He was looking through the window avoiding any contact with society you thought while driving your Audi R8 V10 GT RWD through the illuminated Monaco streets. It was around 9pm. You had cooked for him some home made pasta you knew he adored. You just wanted him to feel better.
When you got home, he took his bags to the room with your help. You left his second suitcase next to his wardrobe and saw him lying on the bed.
“I made your fav homemade pasta. Do you want me to bring it here and eat it in bed?” you offered him with a soft voice. He was looking to the ceiling. He did not answer right away, but after a few moments he did.
“I'm not hungry, but thank you. Maybe i'll eat later” he said with a deep cracky voice and turned himself in the bed showing you his back. You frowned a bit.
He couldn't look at you. He hated that you could see him like this. He was ashamed of himself drawing in self pity and self hatred. He felt he let you down.
“Aln, did you eat something during the flight at least?” you asked worriedly, walking forward to the bed so you could get closer to him. You sat on the table next to his back looking at him. You didn't want to touch him just because you didn't know if he would want you to. You didn't want to be invasive. You stayed in silence for a few minutes. You understood he didn't eat, that he didn't want to either or speak. So you stood up and let him have his alone time closing the door gently behind your back.
You ate alone that night.in silence just as if you could hear him from your kitchen aisle. The past was really good. You turned off your phone after washing the dishes and tidied the kitchen and living room up. You didn't want to see what social media was saying about your lover before bed. It was already enough scrolling and reading so many people wishing lando to die. That was the hardest part of it all. You left your phone charging on the kitchen counter and went to your shared room. When you entered he was already showered getting into the bed again. You half smiled at him even though he couldn't see you. You put on your pajamas in silence and climbed up the bed. He looked at you while you were getting comfortable next to him.
Your eyes met. Any of you said anything. Just looked at each other trying to read each other thought as if that was possible. He licked his dry lips. His eyes turned glassy.
“I messed everything up,” he said almost in a whisper. Your heart is breaking again. You shook your head at him getting closer and bringing him into your chest. You hugged him tightly.
“No you didnt baby. Sometimes people are just mean, you know? They will interpret things as the wish” you said softly rubbing his back and arm and caressing his hair gently. He felt a bit better under your frame. He felt protected but as a little kid when missbehaved so now he tries to find comfort. He didn't want to cry.he was trying hard not to let tears stream down his cheeks. You kissed his forehead and made him look at you. “I know you dont wanna talk about it but i love and i am so deeply and entirely proud of you” you whisper close to his face. You saw him pout and the first tears coming down his face. You hugged him tightly. He hid in your neck and eventually fell asleep. You wanted to set the world on fire for this. You wanted to ruin every single person who says awful things about it. The comments, the media. You wanted to destroy everything and everyone just to protect him. He doesn't deserve this. He is an angel and you can't believe the world could only see the devil in him.
Lando tried to sleep but he couldn't. Everytime he closed his eyes, all of the tragic scenes from the race replayed in his mind. How the car felt, the rain, the radio messages, Oscar's voice, comments from his engineer . everything replayed in his head torturing him the worst way possible. He felt like getting down. He felt alone and miserable. He remembered Oscar words replying in his mind over and over again. “You will eventually make it, mate”. It was a positive message but he replayed it like a fucking nightmare.
What if he never makes it? What if he doesn't have what it takes? What if people are right? What if he is actually a monster and deserves to die? What if he did? Would they like him again or figure him out? Would anyone care about his feelings? Why does it have to be him and not someone else? Why are they all so cruel to him?
He couldn't stop thinking about every single detail about the weekend. He didn't want to celebrate his birthday anymore. He had you there but couldn't look at you. He felt disgusted by himself. He can't control it. He wants to go back into go karts and stop the time when he was actually happy and having fun with his friends. Now that line between friends and enemies is so blurry for him. Max didn't talk to him like before when all of this shit started. He knew Max was really competitive, of course he did, everyone knew it since day 1. But what about their friendship? Lando shit talked, max shit talked. He felt so confused even by his own feelings around this whole shitty situation or championship situation. Whatever you want to call it.
(...)
When you woke up the next morning he was gone. You felt kind of confused for a bit. You heard him talking so you guessed he was speaking on the phone. When you got up from bed you walked out the room to find him. When you got closer to the living room you knew he was talking to Max on facetime because you heard his voice.
“Morning, guys” you said, getting into the kitchen for some water to take your thyroid pills. Lando looked at you half-smile.
“Good morning baby” he said as sweetly as he could. You smiled at him. Before coming back to your room to shower and stuff you went and gave him a good morning kiss making Max almost throw up when he saw you in a funny way. You showed him the middle finger and disappeared so he could talk in private with his mate. You respected his place a lot. And i guess that’s why you understand so much each other.
(...)
The following day things got worse. Lando hasn't eaten any meal you prepared for him, didn't even want to have take out or anything. You found him crying in the kitchen and in the garden by the pool of your house. His anxiety was killing him, you knew. The desperation and guilt were eating him alive and you didn't know what to do rather than try to talk and comfort him.
He was sitting on the sofa in the living room. His sight was fixed on the floor without moving. You got alarmed because you knew what was going on. You got close slowly to not trigger him even more. His face was red, his hands sweaty and shaking. You sat on the floor diagonal from him looking at him. Slowly and gently you grabbed his hands trying to capture his brain's attention and get him out of the fog he was in. You were almost sure he was having an anxiety attack and he started because of your touch. You gently rubbed your fingers in his hands. He was out of breath for a moment and you got scared so you tried to do as your therapist told you in case someone you know goes through this.
“Lan, can you hear me? Try to pay attention to my voice okay? I'm here and I'm with you dull be alright” you said really softly trying to make him look at you. You looked for his eyes with your gaze. “It’s not as terrible as you think, baby, I promise. You aren't all of those things people comment” you used your words carefully. His hands caught your strength and so you reassured him. You saw his pout becoming deeper. You hurt to see him like this. It was so unfair. He doesnt deserve this, god. And he broke. He broke down again. His tears streamed down his face. Sobbing in so much pain. You sat next to him to hug him tightly once more. But now you knew it was worse. He was shaking under your arms.you let him go through this. So he can let go of all of this shit inside him. “I promise lando, you aren't all of those things. People are just mean and cruel. You are a good baby and so talented. Gifted. You have it in you I promise, I can see it” you tried to comfort him with your words as well, trying to distract your mind from the tragic thought he was dealing with by himself. A few tears fell down your face. It was a hard time. And you were trying to be strong for him.
“I'm so stupid I'm sorry” he sobbed and you shook your head.
“No, Lando, you aren't. I promise okay? Believe me.i know you and you aren't. And this will pass. All the people that know you for real, we love you and we are so proud of you. You had an amazing year. You are fucking fighting a three time world champion, even sooner than he did with lewis back in 2021. That’s huge my love. Your dream is near, I just know it. Because I know you, and you’ll make it, baby. You didn't let anyone down. You're getting stronger so when you finally make it, all of these moments will make it taste so much better and sweeter” you explained while rubbing his back. Your words made an effect on him. Heslowly calming down. He didn't want to let you go. He wanted to just stay there in your arms. Where he felt safe and sound. Noone could hurt him there. That was what made him fall for you. You saw him. You knew him. And you care about him. He was finally important for someone for being lando, and not lando norris formula one driver. His past lovers left him feeling confused whether they loved him for him or their idea of him. You came outta nowhere and blew him away. You were brutally honest, no filter yet so gentle and caring with your words. He thought his perfect girl didn't exist but then there was you, listening to him for hours if he needed to. Giving him the best advice and clearing his perspective. Always cheering him up. Cracking jokes so he could distract and feel relaxed. Heknew he was in love with you the moment you offered to give him a ride because he was drunk as well at a new years party. It was normal but the fact that a stranger could do that for him blew his mind. He never admitted afraid people would think it’s weird. But it is what it is. Your smile ended him right there and when you started cracking jokes he didn't want to live in that damn car for the rest of his life. So here you are 4 years later,and you still be the greatest person in the world and the one who knew him the most. He felt your lips on his forehead. For a moment he thought about leaving racing. What if his life was better without it in it? He could go back to Bristol and be with his friends. With you. Maybe start a family and have a normal job so you could spend each day together. He started crying again at that thought. He loved racing but this year was the hardest yet amazing one.
He finally calmed down after a few minutes in silence. He looked at you with puppy eyes. You caressed his face gently brushing a few tears falling down still.
“Would you be there with me? Could you?” he asked, making you a bit confused. And he noticed. “To the races. I need you there. Please. To every race and when I become a champion,would you be there with me? You could feel he's scared. You half smiled at him melting as his comment.
“Of course I'll be there, baby. I’ll always be there for and with you. If I could , I would set the whole world on fire just for you. Never doubt it, okay?” he nodded and you pulled him closer to give him so many little kisses around his whole face making him gigle a little.
“I love you, y/n” he said looking at you fondly.
“I love you, lando. Everything’s gonna be alright” you said, assuring him and gave a peck on his lips. “Go have a shower and dress cute im gonna take you out on a date before your birthday” you said more lighful to cheer him up and his face lit up.
“Really?” you noddedat him and send him to shower agin funny. Before going with him so yhou both looked facy, you needed to say something to the world. You couldnt stay crossed arms and do nothing about it.
── .✦
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maxfewtrell: I CHOKED
norrisfan: omg thank u queen for this
user45: ur as dumb as he is. you cant defend him. he sucks and thats it darling. don lie to yourself.
── .✦
You turned off your phone once again. You were already so fed up with it all. Let them talk. You were sure they would choke with their own shit eventually.
but continued with the day. Lando was still a little off but he was looking better so maybe he is actually feeling better. You took out to dinner at a restaurant he always dreamed of going to. He was so happy to be there. The food was delicious. It was near the beach though it is colder here so we looked at it through the glass window. You gossip and talk about anything and everything as if everything was alright. And it was a fact it was. Because this is real life. Not social media. A few people stopped you while eating to ask for pictures and Lando said yes every time you even became a photoshoot photographer. Nice people telling him nice things was what he needed right now. Plus, you would never be pissed off by his fans. You were actually grateful for them. Of course, some can be disrespectful but you knew the real one was it. You really embraced Lando's life even though it’s nothing like the life you’d dreamed of to have one day. But he is the boy of your dreams so why would it be a problem.
November, 13th
When the clock hit midnight, the restaurant made a cake for him so we all sang him happy birthday. You chose his favorite type of cake. He giggled all nervous and shy. His cheeks red while his eyes showed a little sparkle while watching the candles. He blew them. You recorded the whole thing and took so many pictures. He thanked the staff and staff of the restaurant and they let you enjoy the cake in comfort. Your heart was full to see him a little back again.
After The restaurant kicked you out because they needed to close, you decided to do a road trip through the mountains of monaco. You always enjoy a good ride with good music and good company. And you also had sex in the car. You kind of guessed he needed to take his frustrations out somehow because you had the rough sex you really enjoyed. He joked it was his best birthday present making you laugh. He was joking again.
“Thank you” he said while gently rubbing your naked chest. You were seated on him. You smiled and leaned for a soft kiss on his lips. You really loved him. And all you wanted for him was happiness and well being. And you would do anything to make sure he is okay.
You came back home and had another round of sex. Enjoying yourselves in intimacy. Lando finally fell asleep after a terrible few days, in the calm of your body. His face on your bare chest. You clothed him and fell asleep relieved.
── .✦
yourusername made a post
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yourusername: What can I say about you? There's no words that can describe your greatness. Or my feelings for you. I'm so grateful you were born on November 13th. 25 years ago my best friend and the love of my life was brought to this world. And sometimes what unfair is that, right? A world that is so cruel to you. A world that doesn't deserve your greatness and kindness nor your attention. You are the greatest son, brother, uncle, friend and lover. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't actually know you. We are all so lucky that you choose us to spend your time on this world with. Thank you for being who you care. For caring about the people you love and making sure we are alright and happy. Thank you for being the light that you are for so many lives. Thank you for being vulnerable. I admire you so much, lan. You are the strongest and bravest human I know. so honest and open. Anyone who says otherwise, actually, doesn't know you. I know this is not the best birthday of your life, but I promise you I'll try to make it better. Thank you for being who you are to me. I promise I see you and I care. You're the love of my life. And I'm so lucky you love me over any other human out there. So happy birthday to the prettiest and most genuine, real, fun, kind, warm person I have the chance to call mine everyday. Hope you have the best day you can have right now. That’s the least you deserve. I love you forever bestie. Don’t ever change.
tagged: landonorris
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── .✦
── .✦
So you had a master plan for Lando's birthday. You went to the Hilton hotel for some coffee with Max and Lando of course. We lied and said pietra couldn't make it because she had a meeting and Lando believed. Truth was, you have contacted all of his friends and arregened flights so everyone could make it to Monaco on time. Pietra was the one in your house. You left her a spare key yesterday evening after coffee with alex. You gave her the directions and the idea of what you wanted while you and Max distracted Lando until 7pm, she decorated the house and received all of his friends. Lando had no clue of what was going on but he was so happy it was the second cake you brought to him. You recorded the moment and seeing him smile made your heart melt.
── .✦
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landonorris: I love you greatest girlfriend there to exist. Thank u for everything and specially for making this day so much better. Ur an Angel ❤️🩹
⤷ yourusername: I love u more Angel ❤️🩹 the least you deserve is to be loved and happy.
User33: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Landostan: THANK U FOR EXISTING AND TAKING SUCH CARE OF HIM UR A QUEEN I LOVE U WE LOVE U
carlossainz55: ur the best 🫶🏻
⤷ yourusername: te extraño hermano we need to double date with Rebecca again asap!
── .✦
When 7pm came around we all “decided” to go to your house and eat pizza for dinner. Lando even said to me that they could do a stream and have fun for a bit. You agreed and all knowing that wasn't gonna happen. The ride home was so much fun. You spent the 20 minute ride screaming a one direction song from the top of your lungs. You sang Lando ‘through the dark’ And he sang ‘You and i’.it was lovely, Max almost threw up when you kissed. Luckily he was driving so he hadn't watched much of your pda.
You got out of the car trying to play it cool though you were so nervous. You saw Max texting Pietra that you were close.the lights were off. And silent. Your nervousness took over you when you tried to open the door but let the keys fall nervously. Thankfully Max and Lando were discussing which type of pizza they would order. Finally you opened the door, lando behind you and so you turned on the lights.
Everyone jumped from everywhere saying happy birthday in unison. Yoursmile was so big but when you saw lando his smile was even bigger.
“Surprise!” you said and lando was still processing it. But when his friend started hugging him he started crying out of joy. He thought his friends weren't coming this year because of their busy schedule.but that was a lie you made them tell so lando wouldn suspect anything. Fortunately, they all kept the secret safe. Lando was so happy.
You all spent the night playing poker, drinking gin and tonics and surrounded by laughter and love. In the moment, around everybody, you felt lucky to be there. Especially to be in landos life. Everyone was so sweet and good just like him. He deserves the world.
Everyone went home around 2 am. You were exhausted and tipsy at the end of the night. So you put your pajamas on and sled straight on the bed. Lando wrapped his arms around your waist.
“Thank you for everything. It was a great birthday. Thank u for always taking care of me always.you make me the happiest” he said under a whisper looking at you. He looked so gorgeous with that little smile and tired eyes. You stroked his cheek gently, smiling.
“You deserve to be happy darling. You are unstoppable. Better days at work will come,I know.but im grateful that you have so much love surrounding you. I love you” he smiled widely listening to you and leaned to kiss you with so much feelings and passion. You were the greatest thing that ever happened to him and also the greatest decision he has ever made when he asked you out.
── .✦
f1gossipofficial made a post
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f1gossipofficial: here it is @/yourusername at the McLaren garage ready for fp1 cheering for his 4 year boyfriend @/landonorris! Lando was asked about the whole drama around the Brazil gp and his birthday and her statement and he said ‘I’m lucky to have her. I would set the world on fire for her. So yeah. We are the same that is why we work so well. It was a great birthday though. She brought my whole group of friend to Monaco for a poker night so yeah’ also he said that if it wasn’t for her he would’ve collapsed on his overthinking but thankfully she was there. We love a power couple on the grid!! What do we think about all of this? #LasVegasGP2024
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User1873: they are both the same shit tbh
User23: I LOVE THEM GREATEST COUPLE ON THE GRID
User29873: I don’t like lando but she cute supporting him like that. I saw she gave a kiss to him before getting into the car. They seem in love!
⤷ Usrr988: I KNOW TIGHT I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY I CAUGHT THAT KISS IN THE OFFICIAL TRANSMISSION
Yourbff: she is the greatest person you would know!! Let’s go lan!!!
User564: Max will win the dwc and NOTHING would change that or move me so
User90: omg she is so pretty
y/nstan: how lucky lando is to have her. She is always the sweetest to all of his fans. And also funny. Such a queen!
User897: where are the pictures of them arriving together????????! I NEED THEM
⤷ user45: so iconic need to marry asap
── .✦
It was the day. The day you were back to media duties. Back to being a target for social media. Back supporting your boyfriend no matter what. You even went on media day to be there for him if he needed it. You chatted with everyone around to entertain yourself while he was doing interviews.
Oscar helped a lot and the whole McLaren team to make Lando feel safe and actually enjoy the weekend. You Were grateful for it. At least they decided not to be dicks in front of his face.
Fp1 was about to start and you were proudly there in the garage to cheer on him. You were also anxious because you felt things almost like him and this competition is rather never racking. You kissed him gently but shortly. A good luck kiss before getting into the car. He smiled widely.
“Go be the best you can be. You’re great” you told him sweetly.
“I'll try my best to impress you,” he replied, letting go of your hand.
“You already do everyday babe” you said smiling making him grin before walking into the car to start the first session of the weekend.
You watched from there how fp1 unfolded hoping this would be a great weekend.
── .✦ FIN
Hope you liked ir 💌 if you have any ideas my inbox is open so send your requests!
#lando x reader#lando#lando x y/n#lando x you#lando norris x you#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris#ln4 x reader#ln4#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1
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Reader request with Rafe. Maybe she breaks down sobbing in the middle of sex and he has no idea why, thinking he hurt her. Her reasons aren’t bad. As someone that has only been with one person personally, and he was such a selfish uncaring lover, I legit think I would start sobbing in bed if someone was loving and caring towards me and treating me like the most precious thing. Love your writing <3
a/n: thank you so much for requesting...hope you like it!!⭐️
the room was drenched in golden light, the low hum of the bedside lamp the only sound as rafe’s hands roamed your body. his palms were warm against your skin, calloused but soft in their touch, tracing a path down your sides like he was discovering you for the first time. his lips followed, pressing kisses that started at your neck and trailed lower, his breath hot and deliberate.
“you okay?” he murmured, the deep rasp of his voice sending a shiver down your spine. his fingers hooked under the hem of your shirt, brushing the bare skin of your stomach as he paused to look at you.
your lips parted, and though you nodded, the tightness in your throat betrayed you. “yeah,” you whispered. “i’m okay.”
rafe studied your face, his brow furrowing slightly before he leaned down to kiss you again. it wasn’t rushed, wasn’t desperate, but slow, sensual, the kind of kiss that set your skin alight. his tongue slid against yours, coaxing a soft moan from your lips as his hand moved lower, slipping between your legs.
“god, you’re so wet for me,” he murmured, his voice thick with awe and desire. his fingers stroked you gently, building heat that spread through your entire body, but there was nothing hurried about the way he moved. "my baby, so perfect." he almost purred, everything about him was deliberate, like he wanted to savor every second of this—every second of you.
you arched into his touch, your hands clutching at his broad shoulders as he pressed his body closer to yours. his hips rocked against you, his movements careful but firm, and the pressure sent sparks of pleasure through your veins.
but that was the moment it all became too much.
your chest tightened, your breath hitching as the weight of everything crashed down at once. the tenderness, the patience, the care—it was everything you’d never known, everything you thought you didn’t deserve. and suddenly, the tears came.
a sob tore from your throat, raw and unbidden, cutting through the heated silence like a knife.
rafe froze instantly, his body going rigid above you as his eyes snapped to your face. “y/n?” his voice was sharp with concern, his hands pulling back like he was afraid he’d hurt you. “what—did i—did i hurt you?”
you shook your head, tears spilling freely now as you pressed a trembling hand to your face. “no,” you managed, your voice cracking. “no, you didn’t hurt me. i’m sorry, i—”
“hey, hey,” he interrupted, his hands hovering near your arms but not quite touching. his voice softened, though there was still a note of panic in it. “don’t apologize. just tell me what’s wrong. did i do something? did i push too far?”
you shook your head again, harder this time, your tears soaking into the pillow beneath you. “no, rafe. it’s not you. it’s… it’s me.”
his brow furrowed, confusion flickering across his face as he searched your eyes for answers. “what do you mean? you’re crying, baby. i don’t know what to do.”
the raw vulnerability in his voice broke something inside you. you forced yourself to take a shaky breath, your hands trembling as you reached up to touch his face. “i’m crying because you’re too good to me,” you admitted, the words tumbling out in a rush.
rafe blinked, clearly caught off guard. “what?”
“you’re too good to me,” you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper. “i’ve only ever been with one person before, and he… he didn’t care about me. not really. it was always about him—what he wanted, what he could take. i got used to that, and now… now you’re here, and you’re so kind and patient, and i don’t know how to handle it.”
his expression shifted then, his confusion melting into something softer, though there was an edge of anger in his jaw—anger directed not at you but at the person who had made you feel this way.
“y/n,” he said quietly, his voice steady. “that guy? he didn’t deserve you. not for a second. and i don’t care how long it takes, i’ll spend every moment proving to you that you’re worth everything. do you hear me?”
tears spilled down your cheeks again, but this time they weren’t born of pain. his words wrapped around you like a balm, soothing wounds you hadn’t realized were still bleeding.
“i don’t want to scare you off,” you whispered, your voice trembling.
“scare me off?” rafe repeated, his tone incredulous. he cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away your tears. “y/n, you couldn’t scare me off if you tried. i just… i want you to feel safe with me. always.”
“i do,” you said quickly, your voice breaking with urgency. “i do feel safe. that’s why i’m crying, rafe. because i’ve never felt this before. no one’s ever… treated me like this before.”
his lips pressed to your forehead, lingering there as he exhaled deeply. “then we’ll go slow,” he murmured against your skin. “as slow as you need. or we can stop altogether. whatever you want, baby.”
“no,” you said firmly, your hands curling around his wrists to keep him close. “i don’t want to stop. i just… needed to tell you. needed you to know why i’m like this.”
his eyes searched yours for a long moment before he nodded, his lips curving into the softest smile. “okay,” he said simply. “but promise me, if you ever need to stop, you’ll tell me. no matter what.”
“i promise,” you whispered, your voice steadier now.
he kissed you again, but this time it was different. there was still care in the way his lips moved against yours, but now there was something deeper, something hungrier. his hands gripped your waist, pulling you flush against him as his hips rolled forward, the friction sending a gasp spilling from your lips.
“you feel so fucking good,” he groaned, his breath warm against your neck as he pressed wet kisses to your skin. his body moved against yours in slow, deliberate thrusts, his hands roaming your body like he couldn’t get enough.
and this time, you let yourself feel it. you let yourself drown in the way he touched you, the way he held you like you were the most precious thing in the world. because for the first time in a long time, you believed that maybe—just maybe—you were.
taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @kissrotten @rafesangelita @sstargirln @rafedaddy01 @soldesole @bakugouswaif @skywalker0809 @vanessa-rafesgirl @evermorx89 @aariahnaa @outerhills @ditzyzombiesblog
#rafe x you#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe fic#rafe cameron x reader#rafe#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron#rafe imagine#rafe obx#rafe cameron blurb#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron obx#outer banks rafe
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PRICE OF FAME | MYG ★ CH. 2 TEASER
✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader
✧ SUMMARY: You were about ready to give up, your career nowhere near what you dreamed it’d be when you started at eighteen, bright-eyed and naive. Reality for you these past few years has consisted of pouting at a camera, ignoring whispers of your name at company events, and ensuring that the stupid, tiny designer purses they keep forcing on you can at least carry a flask. But now, you’re helping a friend in need. For the first time in a long time, it feels like you’re doing something worthwhile with your life. Too bad Min Yoongi, the newest thorn in your side, seems insistent on stopping you. 『 series masterlist 』
✧ TEASER WARNINGS: none!
✧ AUTHOR'S NOTE: ask and you shall receive! i still don't have a set drop date for this chapter, but i wanted to post this short teaser for y'all anyway since you've been waiting so patiently. i am so thankful for all of the love i'm getting for this series already!!! chapter one is almost at 500 notes which is SO insane. i get so stupidly giddy every time i receive a reply, reblog, or an ask about this series! feedback and interaction keep me writing and i am so looking forward to what all of you think of this teaser. reminder that you can track the tag 'glossdebut updates' to stay updated on drop dates/word counts/etc.!
P.S. just like with all of my teasers, wording is subject to change when the chapter actually comes out <3
✧ TEASER WORDCOUNT: 481 words
✧ STATUS: ongoing
Yoongi hasn’t touched a cigarette since he was twenty one years old.
He picked up the nasty habit at sixteen, when one of his friends doled out African Ice Jacks amongst the group, bragging that his hyung had bought the pack for him. As soon as the lighter was flicked on and the bittersweet taste of bubblegum and tobacco filled Yoongi’s lungs, he was hooked.
It was stupidly easy to get his hands on cigarettes before he was of legal age, even when his friend’s hyung couldn’t supply them for whatever reason. All of the adults around him smoked, including his parents.
It felt as though cigarettes were an extension of his hand, felt wrong when he didn’t have the option to light one up. During school hours, Yoongi’s fingers would twitch on his desk as he waited for his last class to end.
He was a fucking anxious, wound-up kid. Smoking was the only thing that helped, sometimes. If he had a shit day, at least he could have a cigarette.
When the band got signed, though, things changed. Despite the fact that the majority of the population in Korea smoked, celebrities were vilified for it in the media. For whatever fucking reason. Yoongi didn’t care much what the media had to say about him, but he reasoned that it would be pretty stupid to let his dream die over Ice Jacks. So he quit.
It was hard at first, but it’s been five years now. After so much time, it’s rare that cigarettes even cross his mind, even when others smoke around him.
Sitting across the table from you now, though, Yoongi’s fingers twitch just like they had when he was in grade school staring at a clock.
He and the band started frequenting Yoojung Sikdang long before there was any real hope for fame. It was their chosen spot after every practice. The ajumma who owns it knows their names, remembers their orders by heart. Over the years, the only part of the restaurant that’s changed is their autographed photos on the wall. They’ve celebrated every single milestone here, big or small, just the five of them. Alone.
Wrapping up their first world tour should be no different. It’s their biggest milestone yet, and all Yoongi wanted was to eat ssambap with his best friends. Remind himself that none of the fame matters as long as they still have this.
But here you are. Of course. Encroaching on everything Yoongi’s built, everything he holds dear to his heart.
The only time it’s ever been more than the five of them here was the night they signed their contract, accompanied by two label executives. Even if you’re allegedly riding Jeongguk’s dick, no way are you that fucking important.
Yoongi would laugh if he wasn’t so pissed off. You are such a fucking pest. He just can’t shake you off.
✧ TAGLIST: @jajabro @pitchblack0309 @sugar-snap @ot72025 @ktownshizzle
@futuristicenemychaos @tea4sykes @sugainmybowl @namjoonsbuspass @wobblewobble822
@yoongiphoria @ohnothisnameisalreadytaken @this-most-assuredly-counts @sugafun @binniesbabe
@1800lxcifrrr @whoa-jo @amarawayne @kimsaerom @bangtangsworld @angellekookie
@jalexad @tarahardcore @valhallawhispers @chimmisbae @notsevenwithyou
#price of fame#yoongi x reader#yoongi x oc#yoongi x y/n#yoongi x you#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi x oc#min yoongi x you#min yoongi x y/n#suga x reader#suga x oc#suga x y/n#suga x you#yoongi smut#yoongi angst#min yoongi smut#min yoongi angst#suga smut#suga angst#min yoongi fanfic#yoongi fanfic#suga fanfic#min yoongi fanfiction#yoongi fanfiction#suga fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#minors dni#minors do not interact
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Hi!! It's me again. I want to request again, and I'm sorry if I sent the request at the wrong time.
Anyway, what if Y/n is a gorgeous woman (who is taller than Monkey Kings + Destined one 👀), has a graceful, charming, and loving personality, but turns out she is a Manipulative yandere? So she hides her true sadistic personality with her graceful 'mask'.
The greatest manipulation is to convince others that they are in control, when in fact you are the puppet master pulling the strings-Robert Greene
youtube
(Lmk Wukong) Man he would never know that your playing him, like an Lute. You were always so kind and supportive of everything he does and so open to helping him in his goals. Now as for the sadistic part, it would be very suitable as it would come out in concerns or threatens but quickly hide it with tears. You would act scared and worried for your husband and twist him into doing whatever you want, while hugging and kissing him the way he deserves. Also with Wukong's sky high pride and ego he would go out of his way to keep your eyes on him even taking his armor off infront of you. Needless to say Wukong was always yours, and he never had a choice either😈
(HIB Wukong) With this method cater to his cubs and he will soon follow, especially with his trauma and insecurities. It's easy to manipulate both Luier and Silly girl with your kind, loving, protective concern mother mask. Don't get it twisted you love the children and they Quickly became your property but it was Wukong You were truly after, and the way you handled him sweeten him to the idea of marriage. Treat him like the king he is, whisper loving sexy compliments to him, heal his dying ego and give him what he wants. Once he becomes addicted to you, There will be no going back for him.😈
(NR Wukong) Maan you would have lots of fun with this, especially since he eccentric and all over the damn place. Though you still remain very careful and would just leave suitable Hints and suggestions for him, acting all shy and unsure of everything and Wukong would end up exactly where you want him to be. S*x appeal also works hand in hand with your innocence and charm, you would wear some Rather scandalous clothes telling him they make you look pretty and he would be down bad. So yeah Wukong would be under your thumb by the end of it.
(MKR Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhh the best way to manipulate him is to always play into his emotions, and his frequent emotion Rage. You fuel his thoughts love and obsession also anger, vengeance and hatred for everyone who wronged him. You had educated him and Fruity into listening to only you and told them both that the world was out to get them, and we have to protect each other. You love him so much and want to keep him forever, so fuel his hatred, vengeance and resentment make him forever yours to control and love😈
(Netflix Wukong) Look at him, so desperate for approval and acceptance that he had to brag loudly for attention. Just so he can fill the hollow void that is his self-esteem man, you really didn't have to do much. Just show interest in his stories and accomplishments it's so easy. Although at the same time you make sure to reward and show support for is wacky and unrealistic goals, because when he fails he'll run back to your tall loving arms begging you to take him back and stay and that is never your fault 😈
(BMW Wukong) His pride, arrogance, and ego are both your advantages and his downfall. You would charm and flirt with him acting all impressed with his reputation and powers, while sometimes acting as a Dansel in distress. For Wukong, you act like you can't stand to be away from him, inflating his pride and ego in an alarming rate. Soon, your compliments become the fuel to Wukong's power and now goes out of his way to impress you further keeping your eyes on him at all times. That was until you started looking elsewhere seeing the other strong demon men you acted impressed by and just like that Wukong few into panicked desperation and started pulling out all the stops to win you back, and that's how you knew he was yours forever😈
(Destined one) Now honestly with the destined one I feel would be the hardest to get too, he's got way more brain activity then BMW would. He is a man of focus, discipline, determination, and very goal Oriented until you found out about the silent monkeys rather ugly jealousy. You show your kind loving mask and charm him into spending time with you, while you go shopping together until you heard multiple wold whistles and cat calls. You went to try on a rather revealing dress that you liked the colors of and you spotted a dark look on the destined one's face. He looked calm, but you felt his murderous aura from the dressing room, and that became your meal ticket. Soon, the destined one was under your spell toomaking sure nobody tried to take you from him and vise versa.
FEEL FREE TO REBLOG🤞
#monkey king netflix#monkey king reborn#monkey king x reader#nezha reborn#lmk monkey king#monkey king hero is back#x female y/n#black myth wukong#the destined one x reader#x yandere reader#female manipulator#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#fake type#Fake type princess#manipulative yandere#love me love me love me
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Moffat, Sexy Women, and More 80s Who Complaints:
Note: I am a woman and everything I'm saying is my opinion as an individual woman and not an attempt to represent women as a whole. We're like half the world's population. We're not gonna agree on everything.
I'm just gonna randomly say a bit about the Moffat era and women that's sort of a defense in an "this still feels better than other things" sort of way.
Look, I will not deny that the Moffat era (mostly 11's part) has some issues with women. Most of it, at least for me, has less to do with how the female characters are written and more to do with how the male characters address them (Let's Kill Hitler, I'm looking at you).
But, one thing that bothers other people that doesn't bother me as much is the sexualization. This is mostly compared to what came before it.
For me, because sexuality isn't an inherently negative thing, a character of any gender being sexualized isn't automatically a bad thing. It's more of a matter of subject vs. object.
To illustrate my point, let's bitch about 80s Who for a bit.
Now, when I say 80s Who, I'm mostly referring to the Saward Era (seasons 19-23/5th and 6th Doctors). Ace wasn't really sexualized in the same way the companions before her were.
If you dig through this blog, you'll find that this is sort of the third in a miniseries about various issues with 80s companions that mostly come down to something about gender. With Tegan, it's that she's an outspoken woman and treated negatively for it. With Turlough, it's that the EU tries to downplay the more gender-nonconforming aspects of his character, which admittedly mostly happened by accident.
This time, I'm talking about Peri. Peri was heavily sexualized but in a way that I don't particularly like. It ultimately comes down to how the era handles sexuality in general.
JNT was more of a marketing guy than a creative guy, but his ideas of marketing the show ended up contradicting one another. On one hand, he wanted to avoid controversy. Doctor Who had a bit of a history of controversy, though most of it was about how violent it was, something this era of the show clearly did not care about. Instead, the primary JNT/Saward obsession was with sex. It had to be clear that the Doctor did not fuck and never had. But, this sort of extended to the companions as well. 60s and 70s Who would occasionally give companions one-off love interests. This didn't happen a lot, but there was a history of it dating back to The Daleks, where Barbara makes out with one of the Thals for a bit. In 80s Who, the only time a companion got a love interest was right as she was leaving the show and that was a last minute change.
(Side Note: I'd once again like to comment that Doctor Who wrote women better in 1964 than in 1984 and that Barbara is a great character. The worst thing Moffat every did was have Twice Upon a Time trick people into thinking of this era as The Sexist One.)
You might be wondering, "so what? It's a kids show. Of course nobody's gonna be horny!". And yeah. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. The problem is that the show isn't horny, but it is sexy.
What I mean: Horny is sexuality in-universe. It's the characters having sexual attraction and interests. Sexy is sexuality out-of-universe. It's characters being attractive to the audience.
Peri is the ultimate example of this. She's completely normal for this era of the show when it comes to sexuality. It's not really a thing and when it is it leads to almost immediate marriage. But, she's always dressed in revealing outfits. In Planet of Fire, she's on vacation in a warm region, so that makes sense, but she continues to dress that way everywhere she goes.
Peri is sexualized as fanservice for the audience and for villainous characters to leer at to make them more threatening. Her personality doesn't really match her choice of outfits. It's all for the benefit of the audience and a justification for creepy bad guy behavior.
I mentioned before the sexual subject vs. object. A subject does while an object is done to. A subject looks while an object is looked at. When a character's sexuality isn't an aspect of their character, existing primarily as something for the audience and other characters to leer at, she's a sexual object. And that sucks.
The reason Moffat's sexualization of characters like Amy and River doesn't bother me is that they do not have this problem. The women in this era are just as horny as the men. It's clear that these characters are the sort of people who'd choose to wear the outfits they wear. Yes, it's still fanservice written that way due to Moffat's horniness, but the female characters he writes have sexual agency. They're sexy because they're horny. They flirt with people they're attracted to. They're not just being leered at by the audience and other characters. They're looking as well as being looked at. They actively participate in the show's sexuality. They are sexual subjects.
Of course this doesn't work all the time. There's a lot of "men are horny idiots about women" jokes. When it comes to other aspects of female characters, there's a lot of talk of them being overly emotional and focused on romantic relationships. This did get better over time, being less of a thing with Clara and basically not a thing at all with Bill. I think Moffat was aware of the criticism he was getting and learned from his mistakes. But mistakes were certainly made.
But, though Moffat was obviously horny for his female characters, he them sexual agency. It might not be for everyone but it meant that the horniness of the era didn't bother me.
Besides, I'm horny for Moffat's female companions too. Is it morally different because I'm a woman being horny in a gay way?
#steven moffat#amy pond#river song#peri brown#moffat apologism#better than the 80s might be a weak argument#maybe i just wanted to analyze my own brand of feminism#please do not treat this post as a declaration of war
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Tolerate It (series)
Synopsis: Life as Patrick Zweig’s controversially young girlfriend should have been a dream, but it was anything but. He was a broken man. You were a girl who knew all too well. Who’s to say whether you’ve got it wrong now…
★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★
Pairing: Patrick Zweig x reader
Word count: 1.6k
Warnings: angst, reader is jealous and somewhat paranoid, references to cheating, creepy old men hitting on reader, both Patrick and reader get much needed wake up calls…
Notes: This entire part is kind of frustrating BUT it’s so necessary in the progression of the story y’all! It will all come together trust!! (Also I’m on Thanksgiving break soon so I’ll be able to write more)
Previous part
★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★
Part 3: Things fall apart
2029:
Weeks before you two had agreed to the interview, you already knew Patrick was going to retire. It hadn’t been announced at that point, but you knew. It had come after a particularly bad fight.
“But you don’t understand, Patrick! You’re not listening to me! It’s not easy for me, I feel like I drop everything to be there for you all the time. When was the last time you honestly did anything for me?” You shouted at him, frustrated at the fact that you were even having this fight. He had complained that you didn’t seem so supportive of him going for a spot in Wimbledon in the upcoming season, which you hadn’t been because you were tired of traveling all the time and being alone during the day while he practiced incessantly. That didn’t seem so hard to understand to you. He had won several titles over the past few years. What was one other?
“Oh, I don’t do anything for you? Who payed for the house we’re in right now? Who bought you that dress? Who bought that huge fucking rock on your finger?” He fired back angrily. You hated fighting like this. It always reminded you of the power imbalance between the two of you.
2020:
After finding out what you did, you decided not to confront Patrick. It must’ve been your mistake. You wrote it off as foolish assumption on your part. In your gut, though, you knew better.
You two went on like normal for a while. He went back on tour for a bit. With this newfound information, you definitely called him more often than before. He didn’t seem to mind though, which honestly surprised you for a bit. You half worried about annoying him, seeming like just some ridiculous kid, but at the end of the day, you did really care about him, and would do anything to make sure he stayed with you.
On a cool, Spring Saturday evening you called him, knowing he shouldn’t be busy given the time. Much to your dismay, though, no answer. Fuck. So you called him again. Still no answer. Doing what any rational person would, you checked his location. He was at some bar. You felt defeated. Surely he was with some whore. Then a terrible, horrible idea came to you. What if you drove out to where he was playing? What if you drove out to that bar? …No, you couldn’t. But then again…it was a Saturday night. You weren’t busy. And he was far, but realistically, not that far. A 4 hour drive. So maybe he wouldn’t be at the bar by the time you got there…but then again, maybe he would be? Your curiosity jealousy got the best of you as you grabbed your keys, slipping on your shoes and heading out to your car.
You drove like a bat out of Hell, surely speeding, but you hardly cared. You were fueled by your paranoia. What was he doing at some random dive bar? Why wasn’t he answering your calls? You intended to get answers to both of these questions.
Driving so quickly, you shaved a whole hour off the drive, arriving at the run down looking bar a little past midnight. When you got there you parked, slamming the door before marching into the building with purpose. Upon entering, you took in your surroundings. It was dim, most light coming from neon signs for different beer brands. There were a few pool tables off in one corner, an empty stage, and the bar, which looked to be the type that really only served beer or whiskey. Why on earth would Patrick even be at a place like this? He’s gotta be with some girl…
It wasn’t too busy. There were a few older looking guys at the end of the bar, not “older” like Patrick— actually older— and several ladies who looked to be in their 40s, loudly cheering with margaritas in hand. Still no sign of Patrick. You were still stood by the door, looking down at your phone to check his location, which still pinpointed him right at the bar, when you noticed the older men leering at you.
“Hey princess, what’s a pretty little thing like you doing here,” one of the men hollered. You tried to avoid eye contact, walking further into the bar and therefore away from them. There were several guys who looked to be closer to Patrick’s age crowded around the pool tables, so you walked in that direction, hoping Patrick was among them. With your luck, however, none of the dark, curly haired men were Patrick.
“What’s your name sweetheart,” one of them purred, leaning on his pool cue and eyeing you up and down. You felt uncomfortable, but definitely safer here than with the old guys from the front.
“Um- I’m looking for my, uh, boyfriend. He’s been here for a while, supposedly, and I was just kind of worried about him. H- have you seen a guy like this?” You turn your phone, then, showing off your lock screen which is a picture of you and Patrick cuddling in bed.
The man laughs in response, nodding his head in the direction behind you. “There’s your man, but uh, I don’t know if you’ll wanna see him…” he said smoothly, with a sense of pity filtering through his words. Your heart sank before you even turned around, and everything felt like it had just become slow motion. You turned around, seeing Patrick in a dark corner making out with another girl. You could hardly see her with his hands all over her face, but she looked to be sort of young like you. What the fuck?
“Hey, I’m sorry-“ the man behind you offered, but you walked away from him without another word. You approached Patrick quickly, reaching him finally. Despite your loud steps against the creaky wooden floor, neither he nor the girl he was currently kissing turned in your direction. Before you could even think of a strategy, you just let out a defeated assertion.
“Patrick.” His eyes immediately opened as he practically pushed the girl off of him, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“Fuck, uh, what are you doing here?” That was all he could offer?
“You didn’t answer my call,” you replied as if it was the simplest thing in the world. You weren’t even sure why this hurt so much. You knew he was fooling around on tour…it was just something about him avoiding you to do so that really got you. The whole thing got to you, honestly, but you had been kidding yourself for months. It just finally fell apart.
“So…you came to my fucking location,” he questioned, looking at you with wide eyes. ‘He thinks I’m crazy…’ you thought. You looked up at him, tears welling up in your eyes. You didn’t want to cry here in this stupid dive bar in the middle of nowhere in front of him and his girl of the night.
“I didn’t know what else to do…I- I was worried,” your words were shaky as you spoke, your lip quivering. The girl he was with had walked away at this point, presumably assessing the situation enough to decide that it was best for her to leave. Patrick’s expression had changed from shock to pity.
“Baby, c’mere I’m so sorry…come on,” he tried to pull you into a hug, but you pushed him away.
“No Patrick, I don’t- I don’t want to just hug and forgive you all over again,” you sniffled, looking at him not with anger, nor sadness, but betrayal.
“Again?” He asked, looking confused.
“I saw your texts with that other girl from Savannah months ago when you came to visit. I’ve known for a while…” you murmured quietly. His eyes widened again, clearly shocked by this information.
“Shit- uh, you saw that? Fuck- why didn’t you say so sooner, oh my god.” You looked at him and no longer saw that man who could’ve hung the moon and stars. Now when you looked at him, you saw him how he saw himself: a pathetic loser who was in need of a serious reality check.
“Fuck you Patrick. I’m done.” With that, you moved to leave the bar, but he gripped your wrist as you turned, stopping you. “Let go of me,” you ordered, looking at him sternly as tears rolled down your cheeks. He did as you said, letting you go before chasing after you. In the parking lot he met you by your car, leaning on the door to keep you from leaving. “Move,” you muttered angrily.
“Baby, come on, just tell me what I can do. I can change, really, I promise. Please, I don’t wanna lose you.” It felt like bullshit, but it was honestly the truth. You were the most consistent thing he’d had in his life for a long, long time. I mean, hell, you two had been together for 9 months now. For him, that was like forever.
“You want to change, Patrick? Really, you want to change? Well here’s some advice then: get your shit together. I don’t care what you have to do. Go talk to your rich old daddy, ask him for a loan, and actually get back to where you deserve to be in your career. Fix your fucking relationship with your friends, because I know there’s still something there that you won’t tell me about, and I’m sick of it. And finally, actually learn how to be a good boyfriend. Don’t be such a man whore, it’s really not as attractive as you think it is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m leaving. Give me a call when you’re a changed man.” And with that, he silently moved out of your way, watching you get in your car and reverse, leaving him standing there alone in the parking lot.
#challengers#patrick zweig#patrick zweig angst#patrick zweig fic#patrick zweig x reader#challengers angst#challengers fic#challengers movie#cordelia writes#tolerate it series#tolerate it
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Okay so, ima type in what I typed to my friend here.
"Yeah Ima be so dead ass. ||Mel and Ekko carried the final for me, ESPECIALLY Ekko."
Yeah, they should have just kept [Viktor] being Ryze. That made more sense to me than whatever this is. And I am all for mlm rep, but yeah, this felt WAY too, Jayvikky. I liked it better that they were brothers to parallel Vander and Silco, who also found each other and became bros, but it seemed like they went with how popular JayVik was and stuck with it. And Jayce being strung with Viktor for wherever they went felt...kinda nonsensical. I'd rather that Viktor was thwarted and too far gone to then just suddenly have a change of heart and go with Jayce. I imagined that he would have a contingency where he, incase his body was destroyed, would then later rise again to try and enact "Glorious Evolution". It would go well with the themes of his beliefs anyway because every time he dies, he comes back stronger in a new body. I feel like that would better set the ongoing conflict and fit well with the game and why he looks the way he does currently.
I also don't like how quick he and Mel's reunion was considering how much he favored her along with his odd and sudden dislike for her decisions-- Seriously, where did that even come from!?"
[Thought it over further. Him calling her out on her actions isn't the issue. It's the timing and how this transpires that confuses me. He just came from a post-apocalyptic world where Mel, Viktor, and everything else came to mind. The lack of time for them to truly talk made the scene felt out of nowhere and not at all fleshed out. He goes on to place part of the blame on her when literally it wasn't. She DID manipulate but only politically. Everything else was on he and Viktor. Then, when he DOES confront Viktor, the vibes are different. Viktor hurt and caused a chain of events that led to several lives being taken to ensure survival and his "Glorious Evolution", why is this essentially overlooked? Maybe when I review this again, it will make more sense, but as of now, the way Jayce treats both Mel and Viktor is VERY questionable.]
"I would have been pretty happy if He at least gave her a hug, a kiss, something to make their relationship seem consistent with what we were shown. I know that he's been gone for a while and a lot more cold, but this was a very odd direction to go with. I am super happy about Cait and Mel fighting side by side and that Mel may be the main character for a new Noxus related show! [Which I knew they'd set up!] but this series, after seeing it in its entirety, DID suffer too much from the pacing issues. I assumed at the First Act that it was quick paced to go with how they've all been shifted into places they didn't see coming, but the pacing issues continued to bring down the quality. 3 seasons would have made way more sense and would go well with the 3 ACT formula they had used. I hope they learn from this and refrain from making similar mistakes.
[I responded to my friend who posted these images above] I knew they'd make a callback to this line eventually, and I am genuinely surprised people are not catching this obvious set up to Jinx living. Also, I am betting that Heimer did "die" but only that alternate version of himself. [Though obviously I could be wrong, though a life of various lifetimes where he helps each version of the main cast sounds very Heimerdinger of him, especially since he didn't wanna leave.]
The biggest letdown for me has to be Jayce and Viktor's story. It just...doesn't make sense with what we have been shown. Also, if Viktor KNOWS bad shit would happen when bringing Hextech to life and all, why TF would he give it to Jayce then???? Or if he STILL wanted magic to be tampered with shy doesn't he comvince himself in a way HE KNOWS would prevent what happens next, surely NOT EVERY timeline has it where you continue on the path of destruction! You see what I mean!?!? Leave the time crap to Ekko, man. This new inclusion makes no sense! And he does this in VARIOUS timeliness for some reason. Man, I wish it was just a random ass mage or Ryze, this added stuff kinda kills the finale for me🫠
I feel that making Viktor time travel ruins a huge aspect of the story, ngl, especially when Jayce argues that people can "craft their own path." The story also shouldn't have ended with what I could only assume both of them "dying" or traversing time instead. Also, the way Sky was treated and essentially replaced with Jayce feels....very very weeeeird."
[I believe that the ending just didn't land that well. I feel, now thinking over every character, Ekko, Mel, and Jinx carried this season HEAVY. These 3 were the most interesting parts of the season, honorable mention being Singed cause he be doing what he MUST. Also, what was the point of introducing Loris if all he was gonna end up being was a random guy who reminded Vi of Vander? I guess nothing is wrong with this, but when you're already stringing for time, these inclusions make no sense... I liked him, though, RIP Loris🤧. Oh, and Caut barely facing consequences is KINDA CRAZY but it goes with the themes of forgiveness/ acceptance. The Cycle would never end, after all, but yeah Vi and Cait made up WAY too fast and just shows that this needed another season. Let me know your thoughts!]
#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane season 2#Arcane#arcane vi#viktor arcane#arcane mel#jayce arcane#arcane jayce#arcane spoilers#jayvik arcane#arcane jinx#arcane lol#arcane league of legends#arcane discussion#arcane discourse#arcane viktor#arcane vander#arcane loris#arcane caitlyn#meljay#mel merdada#mel medarda#jayce talis
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i head cannon that he named himself "Midnight" (who is also an OC in a book i'm writing).
he went with it to kinda go with the matching thing he has with Dream, and I feel like both before and after the corruption, he liked the color "midnight blue" because it was a reference to the night sky in his favorite book. he always liked the stars and the sky because of how fascinating it was just an endless void full of stuff that some people didn't even know existed. The name "Midnight" stayed like a nickname for himself, though. Like a name he uses for personal use only instead of telling people. It's similar to a trans name. "Nightmare" is like his dead name, and "Midnight" is his new name, but he's surrounded by "transphobic people" (aka the village), so he has to keep it to himself. I try to make my Nightmare trans-coded because it fits him well in my opinion.
This has two ways it can go after the corruption, depending on how you see Nightmare:
A. Nightmare is the same person, before and after the corruption
After the corruption, he went back to Nightmare as his name because it matched the whole "evil" thing he had going on. I also head cannon that Nightmare forgot most of his previous life after the corruption due to his head and spine being injured very badly to the point that he gained memory loss, leg problems, and very bad mental illnesses (inspired HEAVILY by @signanothername and @mikimakiboo). Focusing on the memory loss, he forgot fragments of his past, including his fake name. He does get his memory back after a few couple decades. They slowly come back in quick flashes that he has to piece together. After he finds his "new name", he usually disregards it. After using Nightmare for a few more decades, it feels wrong to go by Midnight. He often uses Midnight to refer to his past, naive self instead, not wanting to be linked back to his past.
B. Nightmare and the corruption are two separate entities
Going with the more canon! Similar to how some people name them "Passive" or "Night" for original Nightmare and "Corrupted" for the corruption (obviously), "Midnight" refers to the past, dead version, and "Nightmare" is for the new, corrupted version of him. Dream doesn't figure out about this until a few decades after he's broken out of stone. I'm still figuring out the lore, but I want him to find out about it though the gods. This part was inspired by @ancha-aus, so please check them out!
The gods include everyone from a universe called [ REDACTED ]. There's a whole system, but basically, it's a "category" that all the gods fall under. It's like an area where only gods are allowed, so they can all live in harmony (most of the time) to discuss it. If you're familiar with Greek Mythology, it's like Mount Olympus in a way. Except it's a new universe entirely. There, they can take care of a specified place.
Anyways, Dream found out about the place through Reaper, who sensed the unbalance after Nightmare's first clash with Dream. This unbalanced actually signaled all of the gods! So Dream was taken to the new universe and met all of the gods. These gods gave assistance to Dream, especially with how disoriented he was with meeting other gods. There are books with everyone's story in it, written carefully to make sure the story goes perfectly.
Dreamtale was in a special case due to the story being infected by corruption. This corruption is similar to the goop Nightmare has. Dream later realizes all of his past was a lie. The villagers, Nim, everything.
In that book, it also mentions Nightmare's preferred name, "Midnight". Because of this, Dream always uses the term "Midnight" to refer to his actual brother. Because of this, the Star Sanses didn't realize that Nightmare was his brother because of the fake name.
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geez I yapped WAY too much
anyways, credits! (in case you read past)
@signanothername - please notice me I love your rants and your au and head canons are beautiful <3 I would love your feedback, but no pressure!
@mikimakiboo - I love your writing! It's incredible! You're so talented! don't forget to take breaks though. hope I did your disability head canons Justice!
@ancha-aus - I literally inhale your writing it's an unhealthy addiction lol- stay determined!^^
I wonder if passive ever wanted to rename himself (before the apple incident)
Like, Nim legit named them ‘dream’ and ‘bad-dream’. Not only the favoritism (using that loosely cause. nim. Just in general) but the fact he’s been demonized from the start by his own name. Having his twin brother who’s the golden child and loved be the ‘good’ version while he has to be the bad one? That had to hurt, on top of everything else.
His bullies probably used that fact too. “Oh you’re the bad one, it’s literally your name” kind of bs
But then what would he name himself?
Maybe after a character in a book? someone he looked up to/didn’t treat him as badly? maybe even after a plant since he was in nature all the time
Idk. just thinking about the fact passive might have wanted to be named something else, but then when he died and was corrupted Nightmare took on the name as a defining part of himself. It’s his name, it’s what he is so it has to be who he is
And if he was ever reformed/fixed/stopped being evil, would he change it then? Shed the name in order to feel less like the monster he’d been?
#bro I yapped way to much and these people are my idols so I really hope they don't hate me lol#also#trans-coded nightmare#cause it makes sense#ykwim?#don't forget to check out the others! they're very talented and incredible#nightmare sans my beloved <3#ranting#but not complaining#more like#yapping#idk what to tag this as#headcanon#nightmare sans#trans coded#undertale#undertale headcanons#nightmare sans headcanons
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Ambush Sim: Touya and Hawks’ Relationship
I don’t want to call it complicated; how I write them is they’re both relatively straightforward with each other, but there is a distinct divide in how Hawks views Endeavor the hero vs how Touya views Enji his father. That's not a part of their dynamic they can ignore, so this is the only way I can write this ship with any sense that it's a healthy one:
Hawks doesn’t know the full story and is also aware he can’t just pry it out of Touya, but he can tell with the father-son interactions that something is wrong and he has the understanding that whatever is causing Touya’s animosity is probably warranted. (He has heard the rumors other Pros share about Endeavor, has uneasily discounted them for lack of evidence and the fact none of the family members ever came forward, and has since come to the conclusion this stance may be naïvely optimistic.) The same is true of Touya knowing Hawks has a reason to admire the hero but not knowing exactly what that reason is. He has three main reasons for keeping silent about what his father did:
It is rooted in the years he’s already spent keeping silent in order to avoid the fallout should their family’s story go public.
It is also a matter of compassion. He is not vindictive enough in this AU to completely ruin Hawks’ perception of his childhood hero, and this also a stance he took with his piano students. True, there is the debate on whether or not it is honorable or even healthy to withhold that kind of information, especially when the likely response to finding that out is, ‘Wow, I wish you’d told me sooner.’ But this is the razor line everyone in this family walks in regards to their patriarch.
He's made this compromise with his sister; he figures he can do it with his partner.
So the result is Touya and Hawks have an unspoken and very temporary compromise of shelving the Endeavor issue.
They both know this is eventually going to be a discussion that can’t be avoided.
...
One thing I've noticed while writing, though, is their relationship very closely resembles these two:
And I'm pretty sure that's subconscious, but it's the personalities that match up for me.
Shinra is a more comedic character, but he's the character type you don't know to take seriously until they do something extreme and worth your undivided attention. Shinra will be joking and laughing with Celty in one scene, the next he'll be threatening a guy with a scalpel.
In the same manner, Hawks is similar. Trickster/goofball one moment, legitimately threatening the next.
Celty is also a bit of a silly character when you get down to it. In spite of being a serious and levelheaded fairy creature who's calling is to retrieve the souls of the dead and dying...she's clumsy, she misplaces things, she gets flustered, she's afraid of aliens to the point cheesy 80s sci-fi horror films scare her, and she's a terrible liar. What makes her comparable to Touya, however, is the theme of chasing something seemingly unattainable. Celty is a headless horsewoman whose head was stolen from her and she lost centuries of memories with it.
She could survive without her head, but she couldn't live without it.
And then there's Touya chasing after his father's recognition, surviving without it, and slowly learning to live without it in the Ambush Sim AU.
So in spite of the toxic elements of their relationship (and there are a few,) the way Shinra and Celty come together and balance out the bad with the good where it otherwise shouldn't happen...is adorable in all the wrong and right ways.
These two in the Ambush Sim AU are very slow-burn.
Hawks makes the slow-burn a writing requirement because of the demisexual headcanon I gave him. Putting it in the simplest terms, demisexuality is primarily needing an emotional connection first and foremost, and then there’s Touya who’s determined to keep everything emotional locked down due to past trauma. So the thought process is, 'That's a major incompatibility hurdle. Is that even gonna work?'
It's definitely one of the more challenging ship dynamics I've worked with, but after playing with the Trepha ship in the Castlevania fandom for the past couple years, I think I've got a good grasp of how to do it without it coming off as unnatural or toxic. In any case, it is an interesting ship to explore and I hope to do more with it in this AU because Touya and Hawks are very much black cat and golden retriever energy and I love that.
...
“So did you want me to cook or are you good with airport food?”
“Are you kidding me,” Hawks laughed as he followed him. “With how I was eating in America, I feel like I should fast for a week. So many carbs.”
“I hear they have a good cultural variety.”
“Oh yeah, my first day there, I had barbeque pirozhki for lunch. I don’t quite know what that is, but it was delicious.”
“I’ll find you a recipe then.”
“Really?” He beamed at his turned back. “You’re the best, you know that?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Touya pulled out his phone. “How do you spell that?
#my hero academia#dabihawks#ambush simulation#alternate universe#boku no hero academia#dabi#touya todoroki#hawks#keigo takami#bnha#mha#crossover insight#durarara!#celty sturluson#shinra kishitani#castlevania#trevor belmont#sypha belnades#fanfic writing#notes
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something that always gets me about klavier is that he is so clearly just like. friendly. he cares so much and he cares too much. he's one to tease simultaneously but he so clearly just like. loves and loves and loves, even when it puts him in harm's way, he likes people and he likes being around people enough to be desperate for it and for friendship like. ough
#goober.txt#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#aa4#this is also partially why I am such a truther of nuance in klavier+kris's relationship#I think it mixes well with prev just in like. how much he cares is both part of his core and a byproduct of#being desperate for all the connection he lost + that was plenty dysfunctional on top of that (but all he had)#I think it actively hits harder if he's conflicted for missing someone who was terrible because it was still his brother and like.#I think kris having been good to klavier sometimes (adding to the dysfunction of the bad) is something that I've always liked#because like#I think klavier having a 'is it wrong to want him dead' and 'am I terrible for missing him badly' thing happenin at the same time is!!#so good and also very sad and I love you gavin brother things that capcom didn't give us. love you klavier gavin#I like the idea of him having that confliction alongside his grief :( ow#I literally don't have the right words to properly express all my thought cereal on this. other people have done it though so it is ok haha#I love when fictional grief has the confliction of 'being reminded the monster was also human and that makes everything worse' it's so good#like I hate you. I miss you. the way you were nice to me was so very you and it makes me soft and sad and tired. I miss you.#you were awful in unspeakable ways. I miss you.#sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like without you and it comforts me as much as it terrifies me. I miss you
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Blaming KH2 Sora’s anger and aggression all on Roxas really downplays how ready to throw hands Sora is in KH1 and CoM.
#also ignores rage form in kh3 obviously#but I’m talking about sora pre-roxas#i see this take so much and I’m like convinced ppl don’t pay attention to sora in kh1 or com#or they just take what diz/ansem the wise says about sora needing more anger in his heart at face value#even though ATW never knows what tf he’s talking about#my man was wrong about everything in kh2 why would you believe him#sure roxas unsettled in sora’s heart probably played a part#but it’s not all on him be so serious now#anyway. ppl keep reblogging that post from me even though I’m not the op#keep seeing ‘sora wants to kill so bad’ too#and like#i don’t know how to break this to you but sora has killed already#that’s a pretty significant thing that happens in every game#like i understand where you’re coming from but sora very much has killed people
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Okay…okay! I have so much to say and I need to get everything that I am feeling and thinking out because OMG
Pregnancy reveal/post by Sarah and John B?!? OMG YESSSSS. Also Pope in the comments being like; “this is why he keeps canceling boys night.” I can’t with them. I love them all, love all the little details and all the little dynamics.
POPE FINALLY GETTING ON COOKING WITH CLEO🥳🗣️🥳🗣️ yesssss it’s happening. I was with my mans waiting for this. Also FOUR YEARS?!? Cleo wrong for that lmao and then dedicating it to the reader. I love our wife fr. She’s the best. Another detail I love is how close we are to Cleo and Pope. Love our besties, love our husband and wife💙🩵🫶 Also John B and Cleo in the comments, fucking dead. Him not knowing the difference between a salt and pepper shaker. Brother what? Cleo please never but please do bring him in the kitchen 😂 a beautiful disaster, waiting to happen.
Readers post about seasonal depression…too real 😂 and all her little comments right after I can’t. Had me laughing harder and harder because it was so relatable. Then JJ coming to save the day….STAWP😍
The instagram post. Calling JJ our knight in shining armor 😩 him flirting in the comments with us. Also RAFE liking the post?!? I saw that. I saw that shit. I don’t know who to like more or who I’m rooting for. At this point neither, I can’t choose. I WANT BOTH. “Both. Both is good.”
Readers tweets about the Cooking with Cleo video is FANTASTIC. Let’s be honest though, all three of us know we ALREADY married. Lmao. We all together, legit love the friendship with Pope and Cleo so much I can’t get enough and can’t express it enough. Pope saying fake news when we say he loves us, that man just can’t admit or say I love you. But it’s okay, he’s our bestie and our wife’s husband.
READERS TEXTS WITH RAFE. don’t get me started….Im started. Him so clearly nervous and scared to scare us off😭 and then us just fucking diving right in. The begging on the knees, I know he’s definitely gonna take that and RUN WITH IT. And I can’t wait. I can’t wait to see what he does with that. The whole conversation had be giggling and kicking my feet.
JJ AND THE READERS😮💨🤭 now that DELIVERED!!!! He’s so down bad, omg and I love it. I love him. LIKE I SAID. BOTH. You can’t make us chose, you can’t make reader chose. Damn😭 his; “breathing near you is the highlight of my day. I don’t ever really care about what we are doing.” LIKE OMG, this is so beautiful and sweet and this had me blushing and giggling and kicking my feet. Then him outing himself☠️ 13yrs damn poor man, and that’s a good question about his game 😂 that or we just blind asf.
THE SOS POST; the last post. This post. This Post. THIS. WAS. THE. POST. I was cackling so loud, giggling, everything!!!!! I reread it a million times because it was just beautiful. I have said it and I’ll say it again and forever and forever. POPE AND CLEO ARE THE BEST. I LOVE OUR BESTIES, OUR WIFEY AND HUSBAND. In actuality forget JJ and Rafe. GIVE ME CLEO AND POPE🙏 No, but Cleo springing over and leaving Pope in the dust is so funny I can’t. And poor Pope being so confused until Cleo is like, “Piping tea babe.” AND THEN HIS GIF/MEME OF RUNNING??? Absolutely dead, had me cackling even louder. I can’t explain how much I love Pope and Cleo, especially in this and as our besties. I can’t get over this one, legit my favorite (slide? Picture? Story post? Idk) it’s legit my favorite and was absolutely amazing.
Thank you for not only sharing this but creating this. It’s so amazing, and such a great and entertaining story. I love all the small little details you add to every part and all the little side stories and relationships that are involved in this. For example; John B jumping in the fight and helping defend not only his team but the reader. Topper seemingly always there and confused when reader and Rafe interact 😂 Rafe really needs to update this man on what’s happening fr 😂 it’s all just beautiful. Also Rafe and JJ getting along just for reader and everyone literally being like, okay readerrrrr we see you and your power. My point is this is stunning and I’m in love with it so much. Thank you 🫶💙🥰
Kildare University- Sophomore Year: 8
Synopsis: A Social Media AU in which you find yourself at Kildare University along with your friends. Starting over at a new school shouldn't be difficult. Well, except for the fact that your ex-boyfriend is the quarterback, and you are the drum major. Add in a little bit of drama, a lot of friendship, an ex who can't seem to let you go, and a best friend who has been in love with you since you were kids and well? Welcome to KU!
Pairings: Past!Rafe x Reader, JJ x Reader, Rafe x Reader
Masterlist
Taglist:
@akobx @onelonelybitch @the-universe-and-karma @beeskisses @frankoceanluvr11 @ivy-34 @rafecameronsloverrrrr @k-k0129 @asyouwish-fromcabin3 @xoxo-ada @aariahnaa @strawberryforks @urbrunettebombshell @whatisoutside @spenceatiny18
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Talia saying Jason with 24 hours and a survival kit, fresh from the pit, couldn't be tracked by Ra's is interesting
And oopsies I liveblogged all of lost days in the tags of this post
#lot more words of being pit mad floating about. wonder how to weave that into my interpretation of jason well#and without getting rid of all his choices#because it IS interesting. but its such a shame when its used to take away everything from jason himself#also WOW! He looks so small#dc liveblog#immediately going in to explode batman no hesitation at all dang#he found out the joker was alive and got to work#oh that is impressive patience to get to the Batmobile#love when jason gets written as calculated and patient for his plans. heart emoji#not sure how to feel about jasons insistence on wanting to kill bruce yet. need to figure that one out#need to chew on the idea more#Ra's AND talia thinking hes a curse on the world..... and hes only like a few days or something post pit. guy of all time#oh talia convinced him to do guns in order to stall him thats fun#oh no talia what are they doing to you#i am actively updating these tags while reading through#oh! fun! i love when jason sets everything on fire and is one step ahead#im liking lost days more than i thought. if i ignore the bad parts#theres bad parts#jason is a fast learner but man is he a fast learner here#teachers: surveillance. small arms. close combat. bombs. sniper/guns#toxins. how to main/kill in a fight#and about a month on all of em usually#we should talk about the fact jason can vomit on command more#oh hey his iconic knife is meant to be a replica of Ra's#thats neat#and add in the annual 25 dialogue where where one theory was the pit made him like ras#thats an interesting line. dont think they went down that path though#jason with a beard or stubble freaks me out. something wrong there#and i do believe theyre comparing him to the joker at the end there thats fun#wonder if i should watch the utrh movie now
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ok fr last one but there's actually a bootleg of my school's anastasia and i'm linking it bc you all NEED to understand that my infatuation with this one girl's voice which started when i was in the 6th grade and still hasn't really worn off isn't based on nothing
#brielle's the one in the n95 mask (the video is too grainy to actually make out any of the ensemble's faces but she stands out)#and i'm the in my 'teenage tboy's diy first short haircut' era in every scene she's in#apart from everything abt the girl who plays anya. the tea on everyone else is that our director liked the boy who played gleb's voice so#much that she actually lowered some if not all of his parts to be in his range. the guy who played vlad was a total diva and uhm. the phras#'peaked in high school' has been tossed around at him a lot. and the fact that he came back to sub the year after he graduated isn't helpin#his case. also he pressured the girl who played anya's grandmother into wearing old age makeup + spray her hair grey bc he decided he was#going to wear it and since she's supposed to be older than him she had to too and used to waltz into the girls' changing room whenever he#wanted. everyone was like super shocked during auditions though bc we all thought he was a shoe-in for dimitry esp since seniors get#priority casting bc it's their last chance. but at callbacks (we had singing auditions via video and dance auditions in person and callback#were tacked on to the dance auditions) he kinda flubbed his song and then this freshman. who was with us via google meet bc he literally ha#covid at the time absolutely blew him out of the water and i remember walking away w brielle like 'holy shit [first name] [last name] just#lost a part to a freshman' (he's the kind of person you just have to full name otherwise it sounds wrong). that said i do think he made a#much better vlad then he would've made a dimitry and while he is. a lot. he's always been nice to me and i did briefly idolize him and his#stage presence way i did anya's singing voice but that faded when i got into hs and started actually observing his prima donna ways#(the one production we were in together before in middle school we didn't have any scenes together). the girl who played the grandma#actually shouted me out in cast circle and that's the only time that's ever happened to me. also i'm p sure her dad is/was dating someone m#dad and by extension myself work with so that's. Oh My God. like she (the one who works for my dad) brought him w her to a comedy show as i#think her bf but i'm not 100% sure and when he found out what school i went to he mentioned his daughter went there and despite the fact#that i basically have a script for when people ask me that question bc i do NOT pay attention to most of my fellow students and don't know#anyone i was like 'holy shit' bc i actually did. hm what else. the guy who played the tsar and i used to shittalk bad period dramas#backstage during the first part of act 2. also during the press conference scene i need you to picture all the bolshevik soldiers and#romanov royals doing the macarena behind the curtain bc that was absolutely what we were doing back there. speaking of the press conference#the really high singing w/o a clear source was actually anya standing behind the curtain on the other side of the stage bc she's the only#one who physically could sing the part. also in regards to the bolshevik soldiers. we were originally supposed to have wooden rifles but fo#some reason our director took them out so we had to just walk menacingly towards the romanovs. you can't rlly see me that well in that scen#but that jacket would NOT stay closed and for 2/3 performances i had to awkwardly hold it closed the entire time. luckily the one that was#filmed was the one where i was smart enough to bring safety pins and also saved like all of the ballerinas bc their costumes all started#falling apart at once backstage.#romeo.txt#theatreposting
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Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE
#LANA i know his sister works for you BUT TRUST MY WORD AND GIVE ME A FREE TICKET PLEASE…#MY FIRST TIME SEEING YOU WAS RUINED GIRL… she was so good too like i was saving her songs to spotify that night#im reliving all this because i found out a lot of his exes and ex friends hang out together and two of them invited me so it was me an ex an#d an ex friend just swapping stories and first of all. he said he got cheated on by this girl and she NEVER DID IT (HE would have emotional/#angry outbursts at HER though) (allegedly he’s acknowledged to her that the cheating never happened too) and 2. this is obviously making me#mentally rehash everything again. i feel so bad for his current girlfriend and also for the person i ‘’stole’’ him from though i really hesi#tate to blame myself after hearing about his patterns. first of all he wouldve done this with anyone who was vulnerable around him and secon#d i was the only reason he was at all honest with them. he was fully planning to gaslight this ex and me and his dad had to convince him not#to. they look like theyre happy now and im very happy for them over that. oh my god that man was evil he told me for WEEKS about every time#his then partner had talked shit about me while i made clear that i didnt care and wasnt very interested but he kept going. god i cant belie#ve this was my life a year ago.#the one thing i can say is that i out freaked him because throughout our short relationship i made him so insecure that a week after i told#to never speak to me again he called me asking if he really was ugly.#I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD TO TEND TO A GROWN MAN WHILE LANA DEL REY WAS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE HE WAS SO OPPOSED TO BEING AROUND HER. LANAAAA#times like these i get so mad i dont know what to do but ultimately remembering that he has not achieved any of his goals because he refuses#to face himself really helps me. god man IVE achieved some of his goals and i wasnt even trying to#a really awful part of all of this was all of the friends who knew him taking his side. because they didnt know him well enough to know what#he was actually like.#i was talking to my ex friend of four years and she was like not to blame you but he was probably really vulnerable from his time with [ex p#rior to me]’’ because he’s been going around alleging that that ex was abusive. and she was implying i took advantage of him. so i had to go#into detail about what an awful awful person he was and the sort of state i was in when this relationship took place. hannah lee you are#not seeing your little jehovah’s witness heaven.#anyways redirecting this energy im very happy with the way my life is and the way i am now. and im grateful for it i would not have ever bee#n able to imagine having the sort of peace and motivation i feel now. life feels like it can and will change for the better and it keeps pro#ving that right all the time#it just hurts sometimes having that as my first experience and not even being able to vocalize what was wrong bc i just didnt know hurts#oh i forgot one of his besties can see my account bc we’re sort of mutuals. i doubt he’s looking he did the whole unfollowing the ex bc she’#s allegedly amoral thing after the breakup but if he is hi isaac#he did on rare occasion show me selfless kindness but ultimately your best friend is a creep. i don’t want to be involved with anyone from#our school but I hope you know this and I hope you’re proud
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You may not be able to see @andthendk's gifs embedded in AO3 anymore, and thats because enough people loved and downloaded them that it broke my dropbox bandwidth limit for the day 😅
I was today years old when I learned that was a thing! They should be restored tomorrow, but to prevent a repeat issue I'm reposting everything here. You can download the gifs from this tumblr post (compressed to meet upload requirements here), but please don't nab them from AO3 - they are hosted there via an embedded link that counts each download against me. Thanks and sorry for the trouble! 💕
Sway
It was bad right from the beginning. The physical threat the Red Lanterns posed was one thing, the blinding rage that assaulted her mind was far worse. Raven concentrated fiercely to keep the brunt of it at bay, but each little bit that slipped through was like a needle in her psyche. Soon enough it was as though a swarm of hornets was assailing her, their sharp, relentless stings driving her closer and closer to the locked door where she kept her own anger.
It didn’t help how much Ysmault reminded her of Trigon’s realm. A red, rank, screaming world that seemed almost designed to regress her. The only living things here were her and her fellow heroes; their foes had no heartbeat and the landscape itself was made up of bones, blood, and burning rock. Over all of them was the Red Lantern’s power battery, bathing the scene in malignant light.
Raven couldn’t say when that door eventually cracked open, she only knew it had when she saw her clawed, red hand wrapped around a foe's throat, felt the heat of him in her grip, peered into the raw, animal madness in his eyes. She shouldn’t be this close, it wasn’t her style. Raven fought best from a distance, methodically and without any joy in the act. Now she was in the thick of it, reveling in the up close and personal degradation of her enemies. It was wrong, she knew it was wrong, and yet it felt so good . Truly, she had forgotten how good anger could feel. The Lantern in her grasp spewed more of his viscous, spoiled blood at her trying to win free of the iron grip on his throat. Raven tightened her hand instead, cutting off the stream and tossing him aside. Her enemies' corrosive, burning blood had no effect on her — she’d been bathed in hotter fires than they could ever match.
She and Damian sat there quietly, too exhausted to talk, too edgy to sleep. It’s done, it’s over, relax now , Raven kept telling herself. But the trials of their battle weren’t so easy to shake off. The unhinged fury of the Red Lanterns was like a needle in her mind, sharp and relentless. She’d been able to resist the worst of it, but enough had gotten through to her. The worst part was that everyone had seen. Everyone could still see. Raven did not wear fury well.
She shifted in the Javelin’s jumpseat, trying to get more comfortable. Instead the move just reminded her that she was covered in the viscous, spoiled blood Atrocitus’s minions spewed with abandon. The tacky, wet feeling of it repulsed her even as it compounded her shame and guilt.
She tried again, futilely, to force the emotional echoes from the Red Lanterns from her mind, glad that she and Damian were alone in this part of the Javelin. The seats near the front were occupied by Titans and Leaguers alike, licking their wounds and trading happy banter about their victory over the Red Lanterns. Raven stole a glance at her teammate, guilt and distress prickling her heart at the injuries that dotted his skin. She had promised to heal him as soon as she was back in full control of herself, to which he’d shrugged and told her in his blunt, cocky way not to worry about it. His gaze hadn’t flickered when he saw her, nor when he’d met her golden eyes with his own. Even when they were kids Damian hadn’t ever seemed bothered when he saw her like this, for which she was endlessly grateful.
He slumped a bit in his seat, arms crossed and eyes closed, though she knew he wasn’t asleep. Raven decided to follow his lead and forced her body to relax, resting her head against his shoulder in hopes that some of his unshakeable composure could leach into her. They’d been here before and she knew he wouldn’t mind. Change back damn it, she thought tiredly. Damian shifted alongside her to settle them both more comfortable and she moved with him effortlessly, exhaustion and contentment finally starting to cool her blood.
Minutes must have passed, but it felt like she’d only just closed her eyes when a bright spike of emotion and noise opened them again. Supergirl and Shazam had taken seats opposite them, flamboyant in their giddiness. A quick look around showed the Javelin had filled up quite a bit since they first boarded and the whir of the engines told her they’d be taking off soon.
“You were amazing !” Billy was telling Kara, the raw admiration in his voice a dead giveaway for his real age. “Atrocitus totally didn’t see it coming! I bet he thought it was Superman that hit him!”
“It was just a lucky shot,” Supergirl said, but she was beaming from the praise. Raven couldn’t help her tired stare, something twisting in her belly when she saw how immaculate the other heroine was. Not a spec of rancid blood, not a tear on her clothes, not a hair out of place. Raven admired her, envied her, maybe hated her. Don’t be stupid. We’d still be out there dealing with rage zombies if not for Kara . She was more spent than she realized, if she wasn’t able to keep those small, petty emotions at bay.
“Don’t even,” Billy went on, goodnaturedly. “You oughta let loose more often. Don’t let your cousin soak up all the attention.”
“Maybe I will,” she grinned back, her aura bright with satisfaction. Only then did Kara seem to take notice of her and Damian sitting across the ship’s aisle. Her smile slowly tapered off, and careful (forced) nonchalance overtook her expression. Billy followed her eyes and quickly adopted the same look. As their twin gazes crawled over her, Raven felt a sinking feeling. She knew what they were seeing.
Scarlet skin, black horns and claws, four feline yellow eyes. Not to mention the splatters of rank blood that decorated her body. Letting loose doesn’t look quite as good on me as it does her.
Something unfamiliar stirred in her — shame? vanity? insecurity? she couldn't decide — and she dropped her eyes, reaching up to draw her hood over her head. The least she could do was hide her horns…
Damian caught her wrist in a firm grip and tugged her hand back down into her lap, thwarting her. She looked over in confusion and saw he was alert now, staring unflinchingly back at the two other heroes. His expression was neutral, but there was a clear challenge in the set of his jaw and the steely look his eyes. It was a look that both heroes and villains were known to quail from, and this time was no different.
Shazam was the first to break, ducking his head and muttering out a half-hearted pardon before hurrying to find another seat on the Javelin. Kara was soon to follow, albeit with a bit more grace and an uncertain smile for Raven. The empath felt a touch of guilt for her earlier, uncharitable feelings towards the heroine. It wasn't Kara's fault she was such a mess.
Damian’s unflinching stare followed them up the aisle before he finally turned his eyes to her, the fingers on her wrist sliding to coil with her own. He said nothing for a few seconds, just studied her from behind his mangled domino mask. Raven looked back at him wearily, feeling slightly bitter at his intervention and wishing he would have just let her hide. His expression softened and Raven blinked in surprise when she felt his thumb brush lightly against the skin beneath her second set of eyes before migrating north and tracing one of her ebon horns.
“You have nothing to be ashamed of," he declared, finality in every syllable.
A profound affection swept through her, heating her blood in a different way than before and making her heart beat too fast. The feeling belonged to both of them, Raven realized, and was more than enough to sweep away the last few drops of rage poisoning her psyche. Her vision blurred for a quick second as four eyes became two. Damian dropped his hand, skimming her hair lightly as he did, and settled back against his seat. He kept his eyes on her and Raven felt the unmistakable pride in his gaze. She laid her head on his shoulder again; partly to hide from the power of his regard and partly because of an uncontrollable need for closeness.
He reciprocated, resting his cheek against the crown of her head and exhaling deeply. The sense that she was soiled or shameful, which had dogged her since the battle, was gone now, replaced with the inexplicable feeling that she was pristine.
“But he who dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.”
― Anne Bronte
DamiRae Week 2024 - Day 3 / Al Khala
Sway
Sometimes, when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you
Pull me out in time
damiraeweek2024 contribution from me and @andthendk! Enjoy!
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