#Have been crying since I saw it

[compass96]

Completely distraught to learn that one of my favourite fanfic authors passed away. And that it was over a year ago. Rest in peace Vixen_Tail. Your fics were spectacular. Seeing an email with your name on it filled me so much joy. So sad that I can't read more of your writing but you gifted the world so many amazing words. Over 2 million words on one story alone, in fact! Thank you for everything you wrote.

[mariocki]

RIP Timothy West (20.10.1934 - 12.11.2024)

"We met when we were cast with small parts in that really boring play, so had both brought the crossword to stop us going mad. We saw each other across the rehearsal room doing it, so decided to sit together. Then we couldn’t record because of the strike one day so we went to the cinema, Pru and I, to see The Grass is Greener with Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. The show was cancelled, but a bit later Pru sent me a card saying ‘they’re reviving that terrible play, are you in it?’ I wasn’t but we started writing to each other then."

"Humour is vital, and respect for what people do and what people think. Kindness is important, and we’ve always had the same humour, laughed at the same things, been interested in the same things, got cross about the same things. And been in the same business. We have often been away from each other work-wise and therefore we’re always very glad to see each other again."

[chaeul]

Sleepingy Beauty,

waiting for (Ice) Prince Charming's true love's kiss

[bogkeep]

stars finally aligned for me to watch castlevania: nocturne and oh, i like it so much more than i expected to. i was dragging my feet because i gotta be in the correct Mood for dark and violent shows and i'm not familiar with the games and don't know any of the characters etc etc etc.

anyway. i don't usually have a lot of interest in vampires as monster in and of itself, the whole blood sucking thing just holds no interest to me - the one aspect i DO find very interesting is vampires as immortal former humans. what i like about the castlevania cartoons is that they have vampires from many different eras and cultures, which is Exactly what i want from vampire stories, so i'm sold. what i like about nocturne specifically is that they have made the allegory explicit - vampires as the oppressor class, nobility and slave owners, and set the series during the french revolution. that's so tasty. that's so good. placing a vampire slaying series in a historical context, and a world where vampires are Known entities and not secret monsters is so delightful. i am so glad i'm finally watching this

[brionysea]

for the record I'm keeping my #arcane and #arcane critical tags separate because 1) it's rude to go into a show's main tag to complain about it and 2) this way I can still go into the arcane tag on my own blog to enjoy season 1 stuff without being perpetually disappointed by season 2

[eliks-edge]

I love the idea of a death wizard who parallels Malistaire pre-Sylvia’s death working together with Cyrus so much. Cyrus sees his brother in this child and it hurts because he misses his brother so much but it also worries him deeply. The wizard and Malistaire are so similar he can only hope that the trauma the wizard will have to live with after dragonspyre (and even more so after future worlds) will not make them into the man Malistaire is now. And really and truly, Malistaire is just a man overrun with grief over a loved one, which could so easily happen to the wizard. I think it would so interesting to see a villain arc very similar to Malistaires with the wizard

[kyouka-supremacy]

(╥﹏╥)

[dazais-guardian-angel]

kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....

[s-ephiroth]

i often thought, through all these years, like

"i'll leave this fandom someday"

i've seen people come and go, i've seen people completely delete and vanish and i've tried to mourn the hole they left behind when they went

(tried to, because i'm not good at mourning, i feel... i'm better at coping, at entering survival mode and just pushing through, and hiding the tears for when nobody is looking; i mourn extremely messy and never ending... i mourn any time i title a fic in full lowercase and think of the things icy said back then;

(i mourn when i see pages that will never update again and records of things from years ago — seeing how friends and i were so different back then, less paranoid, perhaps more carefree, less pained by the weight of world; seeing once busy chat rooms fall quiet even though people are still there, seeing people change fandoms... i mourn now even though i'm making a silly pun on a friend's stream chat)

i thought that one day i would be the next one to go, too

because somewhere in this world there are people who can't simply let others enjoy stuff on their corner or people who can't just give you a rejection email like a normal person and have to dodge a block to mock you, there are people out there who can't just say "i dislike this thing" and move on, instead coming up with convoluted excuses for why the thing is bad, while basking in equally messy stuff to what they bash

there are stalkers, there are people who go on your ao3 fic to ask why you blocked them, there are cowards who send people anon hate for months, people who crap comment on bookmarks, bullies who persist for years

there's a lot of bad and i often thought "maybe i'll be the next one to go... but... will someone miss me, when i go?"

the pessimist in me says people would miss me for a while, then forget

maybe eventually someone would be like "where are the prompts for sc/seph weeks?" and i would've been missed for a moment, then forgotten again

surely someone would come up with replacement events, maybe not

it would be okay... perhaps

the world keeps spinning and i'm but a little rock rolling along the river of time, as they say; ultimately, on my own i'm near powerless

i can't fully protect people i admire from their bullies, i can't stop drama bs from happening, i can barely bring myself to be creative quite often because my energy is limited

i can't rewind time and prevent one of my friends from being traumatized for life

surely one day i would be the next one to go; my self-esteem isn't very high, i don't really think of myself as too important

hell i almost died twice before, due to things outside of my control, i think of my own mortality and how fleeting stuff is a lot more than i'm willing to admit

probably someone like me would be the next to go, from fandom i mean, is what i think when i see people stop doing things they loved because others were evil to them

"surely, this time i'll not come back to public with art, it's not like some silly chibis are desired, it's not like my computer is robust enough, i was never given an excuse for why exactly i was rejected from that zine, maybe it was personal bias but maybe just maybe i really should fail, maybe what i do is not enough anyway... maybe if i come back those kinds of people will hunt me down like prey... but hey it's valentine's day, what if i force myself to do something"

it's not like anyone would've cared much, anyway

i could be the next one to go; the remake brought in too many ill intended people and icy was right in leaving, remake changed the climate

but for every single discourse bs that happens, for every no life person who manipulates others, even though there are too many people who have to touch grass

sometimes... sometimes you appreciate a piece of good fan art for 4 years, often going back from time to time to share it with others, looking at it when things feel too hard and the artist comes back to it, redraws it

and you just think "fuck... i need to do something too!!! i've thought of the original so much, i watched from afar for too long, it watered my dying crops over and over and over"

and i do... and i befriend the artist somehow? and there's official material related to the subject matter, and i befriend other people too and fuck, fuck, fuck—

turns out there way more people than i thought into the subject matter too!!! and even more official material coming out after years of just having this one shortish game to go by, the one thing to bring me into the fandom in the first place

and i just think

"i can't leave... i like it here, i hope no one takes this from me, i'll gladly shield people if i have to, i'll throw hands if i have to"

and suddenly, i can't be the next one to go and this post is turning much longer than i expected it to, while i'm bawling my eyes out from being too emotional while watching a stream

and you, reading this, as long as you're an innocent bystander who contributes in some way, even if you just mostly lurk and don't get involved much? you shouldn't go either

the world is a fuck on fire right now, but maybe you make it less so, for someone

maybe you're someone's favorite artist or writer or cosplayer; maybe someone is still waiting on that fic you haven't updated in like 3 years or maybe someone's seeing you go on hiatus and worrying, "will... will i see you again?"

you never know

maybe you'll indeed, move fandoms some day, find another place to lurk in with people you can affectionately call your "favorite losers" or maybe life will get too busy, maybe you need a short break to detox

but while that doesn't happen, please don't go?

please don't go

[emelinstriker]

bro i'm actually fuckin crying

i was having anxiety the entire night over more random people from the other blog pulling up in my inbox and harassing me over shit i've already explained, but i woke up to like 4 messages and all rather wholesome and aren't accusing me

the fact that i haven't cried a single fuckin time the past 1-2 weeks of me knowing about this bullshit and just bottled it all up- and it just all comes all crashing the fuck down after seeing the sudden overwhelming support of people that actually read and understand context

it's literally only 6am here and i'm bawling my eyes out

i love every single one of you who isn't blindly jumping in on the fuckin hate train i wasn't even supposed to know about :'D

will be responding to them once i'm back in my room after school! fghfndghdfg already read through them tho, but i gotta go in a bit and can't type it all out hgfdgnfdhgnhdfg

[bloodcossmos]

I played signalis!!! so fun so cute!!

[seaofreverie]

I knew about the post concert depression but no one told me about the post concert constant feeling of AAAAAAAAAHHH that lasts days and makes everything much more bearable and beautiful and some sort of ethereal type of hope is restored into the world, or maybe it's just the "seeing your favourite band after first thinking that it would never happen and later spending many months waiting for it all the while fearing that it wouldn't happen after all because of circumstances outside my control or feeling like it was too beautiful and wonderful to be true so ofc it wouldn't come true" part of it all

[moonilit]

Aww the side story of the barbie (not date) but from Shouta’s POV, this is the cutest by @cyanoscarlet

Alliance in Pink - Side Stories, First art

[nbdraws]

though i know i don't owe anyone an explanation for my absence, i still want to apologize for it

it's been a super rough month for me: one of my art TB needs fixing and i need to do a recovery process on it to get back years of work, my desktop completely died on me, and my dog recently passed away

one thing just happened after another this month and like i mentioned... it's been a lot

a friend of mine is letting me borrow their laptop for the time being, so that i can hopefully still draw on a computer, but it may be a while before i'm back to normal over here

that being said, if you made it this far and want to help a fella out? i want to try to get my computer situation sorted ASAP, so on my kofi there's a goal set to help pay for the new computer. right now i have $125 paid to the place i am getting it from to hold it (they are doing me a giant solid), but i need a total of $499 to take it home

you can find that here: CLICK ME!

[rinhaler]

lonely sad and so so poorly so think I'm gonna work on requests until I get sleepy :)

[louisliamforever]

No seriously that reddit post of Louis' tweets and comments asking Liam to call him have me so upset.