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The U-Bend of Life! Why, Beyond Middle Age, People Get Happier As They Get Older
— December 16th 2010 | Wednesday 16th August 2023 | Christmas Specials | Age and happiness
ASK people how they feel about getting older, and they will probably reply in the same vein as Maurice Chevalier: “Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.” Stiffening joints, weakening muscles, fading eyesight and the clouding of memory, coupled with the modern world's careless contempt for the old, seem a fearful prospect—better than death, perhaps, but not much. Yet mankind is wrong to dread ageing. Life is not a long slow decline from sunlit uplands towards the valley of death. It is, rather, a U-bend.
When people start out on adult life, they are, on average, pretty cheerful. Things go downhill from youth to middle age until they reach a nadir commonly known as the mid-life crisis. So far, so familiar. The surprising part happens after that. Although as people move towards old age they lose things they treasure—vitality, mental sharpness and looks—they also gain what people spend their lives pursuing: happiness.
This curious finding has emerged from a new branch of economics that seeks a more satisfactory measure than money of human well-being. Conventional economics uses money as a proxy for utility—the dismal way in which the discipline talks about happiness. But some economists, unconvinced that there is a direct relationship between money and well-being, have decided to go to the nub of the matter and measure happiness itself.
These ideas have penetrated the policy arena, starting in Bhutan, where the concept of Gross National Happiness shapes the planning process. All new policies have to have a GNH assessment, similar to the environmental-impact assessment common in other countries. In 2008 France's president, Nicolas Sarkozy, asked two Nobel-prize-winning economists, Amartya Sen and Joseph Stiglitz, to come up with a broader measure of national contentedness than GDP. Then last month, in a touchy-feely gesture not typical of Britain, David Cameron announced that the British government would start collecting figures on well-being.
There are already a lot of data on the subject collected by, for instance, America's General Social Survey, Eurobarometer and Gallup. Surveys ask two main sorts of question. One concerns people's assessment of their lives, and the other how they feel at any particular time. The first goes along the lines of: thinking about your life as a whole, how do you feel? The second is something like: yesterday, did you feel happy/contented/angry/anxious? The first sort of question is said to measure global well-being, and the second hedonic or emotional well-being. They do not always elicit the same response: having children, for instance, tends to make people feel better about their life as a whole, but also increases the chance that they felt angry or anxious yesterday.
Statisticians trawl through the vast quantities of data these surveys produce rather as miners panning for gold. They are trying to find the answer to the perennial question: what makes people happy?
Four main factors, it seems: gender, personality, external circumstances and age. Women, by and large, are slightly happier than men. But they are also more susceptible to depression: a fifth to a quarter of women experience depression at some point in their lives, compared with around a tenth of men. Which suggests either that women are more likely to experience more extreme emotions, or that a few women are more miserable than men, while most are more cheerful.
Two personality traits shine through the complexity of economists' regression analyses: neuroticism and extroversion. Neurotic people—those who are prone to guilt, anger and anxiety—tend to be unhappy. This is more than a tautological observation about people's mood when asked about their feelings by pollsters or economists. Studies following people over many years have shown that neuroticism is a stable personality trait and a good predictor of levels of happiness. Neurotic people are not just prone to negative feelings: they also tend to have low emotional intelligence, which makes them bad at forming or managing relationships, and that in turn makes them unhappy.
Whereas neuroticism tends to make for gloomy types, extroversion does the opposite. Those who like working in teams and who relish parties tend to be happier than those who shut their office doors in the daytime and hole up at home in the evenings. This personality trait may help explain some cross-cultural differences: a study comparing similar groups of British, Chinese and Japanese people found that the British were, on average, both more extrovert and happier than the Chinese and Japanese.
Then there is the role of circumstance. All sorts of things in people's lives, such as relationships, education, income and health, shape the way they feel. Being married gives people a considerable uplift, but not as big as the gloom that springs from being unemployed. In America, being black used to be associated with lower levels of happiness—though the most recent figures suggest that being black or Hispanic is nowadays associated with greater happiness. People with children in the house are less happy than those without. More educated people are happier, but that effect disappears once income is controlled for. Education, in other words, seems to make people happy because it makes them richer. And richer people are happier than poor ones—though just how much is a source of argument.
The View From Winter
Lastly, there is age. Ask a bunch of 30-year-olds and another of 70-year-olds (as Peter Ubel, of the Sanford School of Public Policy at Duke University, did with two colleagues, Heather Lacey and Dylan Smith, in 2006) which group they think is likely to be happier, and both lots point to the 30-year-olds. Ask them to rate their own well-being, and the 70-year-olds are the happier bunch. The academics quoted lyrics written by Pete Townshend of The Who when he was 20: “Things they do look awful cold / Hope I die before I get old”. They pointed out that Mr Townshend, having passed his 60th birthday, was writing a blog that glowed with good humour.
Mr Townshend may have thought of himself as a youthful radical, but this view is ancient and conventional. The “seven ages of man”—the dominant image of the life-course in the 16th and 17th centuries—was almost invariably conceived as a rise in stature and contentedness to middle age, followed by a sharp decline towards the grave. Inverting the rise and fall is a recent idea. “A few of us noticed the U-bend in the early 1990s,” says Andrew Oswald, professor of economics at Warwick Business School. “We ran a conference about it, but nobody came.”
Since then, interest in the U-bend has been growing. Its effect on happiness is significant—about half as much, from the nadir of middle age to the elderly peak, as that of unemployment. It appears all over the world. David Blanchflower, professor of economics at Dartmouth College, and Mr Oswald looked at the figures for 72 countries. The nadir varies among countries—Ukrainians, at the top of the range, are at their most miserable at 62, and Swiss, at the bottom, at 35—but in the great majority of countries people are at their unhappiest in their 40s and early 50s. The global average is 46.
The U-bend shows up in studies not just of global well-being but also of hedonic or emotional well-being. One paper, published this year by Arthur Stone, Joseph Schwartz and Joan Broderick of Stony Brook University, and Angus Deaton of Princeton, breaks well-being down into positive and negative feelings and looks at how the experience of those emotions varies through life. Enjoyment and happiness dip in middle age, then pick up; stress rises during the early 20s, then falls sharply; worry peaks in middle age, and falls sharply thereafter; anger declines throughout life; sadness rises slightly in middle age, and falls thereafter.
Turn the question upside down, and the pattern still appears. When the British Labour Force Survey asks people whether they are depressed, the U-bend becomes an arc, peaking at 46.
Happier, No Matter What
There is always a possibility that variations are the result not of changes during the life-course, but of differences between cohorts. A 70-year-old European may feel different to a 30-year-old not because he is older, but because he grew up during the second world war and was thus formed by different experiences. But the accumulation of data undermines the idea of a cohort effect. Americans and Zimbabweans have not been formed by similar experiences, yet the U-bend appears in both their countries. And if a cohort effect were responsible, the U-bend would not show up consistently in 40 years' worth of data.
Another possible explanation is that unhappy people die early. It is hard to establish whether that is true or not; but, given that death in middle age is fairly rare, it would explain only a little of the phenomenon. Perhaps the U-bend is merely an expression of the effect of external circumstances. After all, common factors affect people at different stages of the life-cycle. People in their 40s, for instance, often have teenage children. Could the misery of the middle-aged be the consequence of sharing space with angry adolescents? And older people tend to be richer. Could their relative contentment be the result of their piles of cash?
The answer, it turns out, is no: control for cash, employment status and children, and the U-bend is still there. So the growing happiness that follows middle-aged misery must be the result not of external circumstances but of internal changes.
People, studies show, behave differently at different ages. Older people have fewer rows and come up with better solutions to conflict. They are better at controlling their emotions, better at accepting misfortune and less prone to anger. In one study, for instance, subjects were asked to listen to recordings of people supposedly saying disparaging things about them. Older and younger people were similarly saddened, but older people less angry and less inclined to pass judgment, taking the view, as one put it, that “you can't please all the people all the time.”
There are various theories as to why this might be so. Laura Carstensen, professor of psychology at Stanford University, talks of “the uniquely human ability to recognise our own mortality and monitor our own time horizons”. Because the old know they are closer to death, she argues, they grow better at living for the present. They come to focus on things that matter now—such as feelings—and less on long-term goals. “When young people look at older people, they think how terrifying it must be to be nearing the end of your life. But older people know what matters most.” For instance, she says, “young people will go to cocktail parties because they might meet somebody who will be useful to them in the future, even though nobody I know actually likes going to cocktail parties.”
Death of Ambition, Birth of Acceptance
There are other possible explanations. Maybe the sight of contemporaries keeling over infuses survivors with a determination to make the most of their remaining years. Maybe people come to accept their strengths and weaknesses, give up hoping to become chief executive or have a picture shown in the Royal Academy, and learn to be satisfied as assistant branch manager, with their watercolour on display at the church fete. “Being an old maid”, says one of the characters in a story by Edna Ferber, an (unmarried) American novelist, was “like death by drowning—a really delightful sensation when you ceased struggling.” Perhaps acceptance of ageing itself is a source of relief. “How pleasant is the day”, observed William James, an American philosopher, “when we give up striving to be young—or slender.”
Whatever the causes of the U-bend, it has consequences beyond the emotional. Happiness doesn't just make people happy—it also makes them healthier. John Weinman, professor of psychiatry at King's College London, monitored the stress levels of a group of volunteers and then inflicted small wounds on them. The wounds of the least stressed healed twice as fast as those of the most stressed. At Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Sheldon Cohen infected people with cold and flu viruses. He found that happier types were less likely to catch the virus, and showed fewer symptoms of illness when they did. So although old people tend to be less healthy than younger ones, their cheerfulness may help counteract their crumbliness.
Happier people are more productive, too. Mr Oswald and two colleagues, Eugenio Proto and Daniel Sgroi, cheered up a bunch of volunteers by showing them a funny film, then set them mental tests and compared their performance to groups that had seen a neutral film, or no film at all. The ones who had seen the funny film performed 12% better. This leads to two conclusions. First, if you are going to volunteer for a study, choose the economists' experiment rather than the psychologists' or psychiatrists'. Second, the cheerfulness of the old should help counteract their loss of productivity through declining cognitive skills—a point worth remembering as the world works out how to deal with an ageing workforce.
The ageing of the rich world is normally seen as a burden on the economy and a problem to be solved. The U-bend argues for a more positive view of the matter. The greyer the world gets, the brighter it becomes—a prospect which should be especially encouraging to Economist readers (average age 47).
— This article appeared in the Christmas Specials section of the print edition under the headline "The U-Bend of Life"
#Middle-aged | Older People#U-Bend of Life#Christmas Specials | Age and Happiness#Maurice Chevalier#Old Age | Alternative#Vitality | Mental Sharpness | Happiness#Bhutan 🇧🇹#Gross National Happiness#Nobel Prize Winning Economists | Amartya Sen | Joseph Stiglitz#America's General Social Survey#Happy | Contented | Angry | Anxious#Main Factors: Gender | Personality | External Circumstances and Age#Women 😂 | Men 😤
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Light On - single mom/neighbors fic Simon Riley/female reader Prompt: Your apartment floods. Inspired by and for @liliumbosniacum
"I need to take leave."
Simon's phone is pressed against his face, one hand holding the device, the other with a canvas bag in his hand, it's contents overflowing: blankets, baby clothes, your pillow.
"Everything alright?" Price sounds suspicious, but more curious than anything, and Simon sighs.
"Neighbor's flat flooded. She's got nowhere else to go so I'm letting 'em stay with me for a while." Price, thank fucking god, doesn't push it any further, disconnecting with a rumble about checking in with him next week, wishing him a happy holiday, and a parting good luck.
When he hangs up, you're standing hesitantly in his doorway, pile of clothes in your arms.
"That the last of it?" He asks, and you nod.
"Are y-you sure this is okay?" You're still upset, shaken, and he doesn't blame you. You were terrified when you woke up to bone chilling, ankle deep water, frantically shouting about a burst pipe into the phone over Emmaline's shrieks.
"It's okay, sweetheart. I've got plenty of room." He does. His flat is larger than yours, and though they're both two bedroom floor plans, his bedrooms are bigger, and he has two bathrooms, compared to your one. "I got the crib reassembled in the guest room." He motions to the door that's half opened, a few bags of Emmaline's stuff collected on the floor.
"Thank you." you murmur, and then step forward, burying your face in his chest. He holds you there, rubbing your back, working his thumb into the knot that sits at the base of your neck. “At least we saved the tree,” you laugh, wet and sad, and he hums, bowing to press his lips to your forehead.
“I’m sorry love.”
“It’s alright.” You shrug. “Nothing I could control.” You’ve got a point there, and he appreciates the approach, marvels at your ability to not be angry or frustrated with your neighbor, even though it wasn’t really their fault as well. He’s irritated for both of you, anxious over visualizing what would have happened if the chunk of the ceiling that fell was misplaced and landed on you, or Emma.
You pull away, face twisted up into something that looks painful, tears on your lash line, and he frowns. “Hey, hey. It’s okay, sweetheart, c’mon. It’s alright.”
“I know.” You cry, clamping your hand over the bridge of your nose and trying to turn away. “It’s just all her gifts we-were in my room and now they’re ruined, and-“
“Okay, so we’ll get more. We still have plenty of time.” He reassures, rubbing his palms up and down your arms until you come back to him, letting him fold you back into his embrace. “We’ll fix it. Don’t worry.”
“We will?” You sniffle, and he nods.
“I’m on leave, until after the holiday, so I’ll be around, we can go shopping and replace everything. It’s going to be alright. I promise.” That word slips out of him again, promise. I promise, just like he told you this morning when you were frantic and he said it was okay that you stayed with him, I promise, just like he assured last night when you apologized for Emmaline crying for most the evening. “Okay?” His chin rests on the top of your head, and he turns to kiss you, the touch as soft as he can manage. You hum, and then sigh into him.
“Okay Simon.”
“I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“No.” His refusal is immediate, and you look at him in near exasperation.
“Simon I can’t kick you out of your bed! You’re too big for the couch, anyway, and I don’t mind, I’ve slept on a couch plenty. Plus I’ll be able to hear better, when Emmaline wakes-“
“Sweetheart.” You’re in the living room, bouncing Emmaline in your arms, walking back and forth in front of the fireplace. She’s wearing a red and white striped onesie, like a candy cane, and Simon chuckles when she makes grabby hands at him as he approaches. You sigh, and he tucks his hands under her, lifting her away and into his arms, pleased at how you instantly relax and stretch your back and shoulders in response. “Think you’re getting too big for mama, baby girl.” You roll your eyes, playfully knocking your elbow into his side, and he grunts. “You’re not kicking me out of my own bed.”
“No?” You turn with a hand on your hip, other one holding a half full bottle.
“No, well. I mean-“ he falters, suddenly losing his confidence. “I’m happy to let you have it, or…” He can’t get the words right, can’t communicate what it is he wants to tell you, too worried about scaring you off or being too forward, pushing you too far.
“Or?” You look so pretty, standing in his flat, your belongings, Emma’s, strewn about, just your presence alone making this place feel more like a home than it ever has before. He feels dizzy, overflowing with emotion when Emma lays her head down on his chest, and you smile at her, looking back up at him, delicate, sweet smile on your lips. He bends, tilting your face upwards to meet his, lips ghosting against one another as Emma coos from his arms.
“Or… we can share it.”
#me slowly pressing my dolls together like#peaches writes#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#light on
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Other Words to Use (Emotions)
Carefully chosen words have the power to bring a person or story to life and impact the readers' impression. If you’re like most people, though, you often use the same words when writing about emotions. Here are some commonly used words to describe emotions and feelings as well as many alternatives that may help your readers better understand what you're trying to convey.
Happy
HIGH excited, thrilled, ecstatic, elated, intoxicated, captivated, euphoric, joyous, jubilant, overjoyed MODERATE cheerful, upbeat, optimistic, enthusiastic, lively, gleeful, joyful, peppy, delighted, tickled, hopeful LOW merry, light, jolly, up, glad, pleased, blissful, chipper, content, perky, playful
Sad
HIGH grieved, crushed, gloomy, hopeless, heartbroken, devastated, despairing, distraught, heavy-hearted, miserable MODERATE dejected, dismayed, hurt, hurting, disillusioned, downcast, forlorn, glum, cheerless, melancholy LOW down, disappointed, blue, discouraged, low, somber, sorry, unhappy
Angry
HIGH furious, raging, irate, hateful, incensed, hostile, outraged, indignant, exasperated MODERATE aggravated, irritated, irked, upset, annoyed, offended, sulky, ticked off, fuming, sullen, provoked LOW perturbed, hassled, bothered, fuss, fret, displeased, peeved
Scared
HIGH: terrified, overwhelmed, panicked, petrified, alarmed, fearful MODERATE: worried, tense, dread, shaken, anxious, afraid, panicky, panicked LOW: startled, surprised, uneasy, edgy, apprehensive, hesitant, uncomfortable
#emotions#writing reference#writeblr#spilled ink#writing prompt#poets on tumblr#poetry#writers on tumblr#literature#words#linguistics#studyblr#langblr#dark academia#light academia#lit#writing resources
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GN!Reader gets lost for a night. Law isn't very happy when they find their way back to the Polar Tang the next morning....
Content Warnings: mentions of alcohol, angst, a bit suggestive if you look hard enough.
"I would have torn that town to pieces"
You strolled through the town on your way back to Polar Tang, your head throbbing, an after-effect of the night before. You couldn't remember much after Ikkaku handed you your 6th shot of the night. I thought you remembered dancing with her? Or at least…Dancing with someone? The next thing you knew, you awoke hidden inside a hay wagon with no clue how you got there. You chuckled to yourself and vowed never to drink again…At least for the rest of the week.
As you approached the rocks that served as the hiding place for the yellow submarine, you sighed in relief to see that it was still there. You'd half expected them to have left you there. Law preferred everyone to be present and accounted for on the Tang by nightfall. That said, you were undoubtedly in for a stern talking-to from the Heart Pirates' captain once you boarded.
Weaving your way around the rocky shore, you spotted Bepo standing on the deck of the Tang and waved.
The Bear's paws rushed to his mouth in a gasp, and he scrambled to lower the ramp, "They're back!" He called behind him before rushing towards you, trapping you in a tight, fuzzy hug.
"Bepo…I can't breathe…" You wheezed, squirming to free yourself from his arms.
"Oh!" Bepo gasped, releasing you, "Sorry."
You stepped back, brushing yourself off. Then you noticed the anxious look painted on the Bear's face as he looked you up and down.
"What? Is something wrong?" You asked. Had something happened while you were gone?
"You- are you okay?" The bear questioned, still scanning your body for any sign of harm.
"Yeah? I think so? You're making me nervous, Bepo." You replied with a chuckle.
"You were really drunk last night. I turned my back on you for one second to get you some water and you disappeared! No one saw you leave the tavern. The Captain-" Bepo started to ramble.
Guilt began to creep its way into your consciousness.
"Look who finally showed up." A rough voice resonated from the Tang.
You peered over Bepo's shoulder to see a very pissed-off Trafalgar Law descending the ramp toward you. Shit. You thought. You'd wanted to at least take a nap before facing the captain's wrath.
"My office. Now." He ordered.
Bepo gave you a sympathetic look as you strode past him to follow Law. "I'm glad you're okay."
You nodded with a sheepish smile before following your fuming captain onto his ship and into his office, passing multiple crew members who watched you with relieved looks on their faces.
Law opened the door for you. Once you were inside, he followed and closed the door behind him. He then walked to his desk, still completely silent, his back turned to you. You felt the anxiety start to rise in your chest at the uncomfortable silence.
"Law I'm-" you started to apologize.
"Are you hurt?" He interrupted, clenching and unclenching his inked hands, as though he was trying to release some of his pent-up anger. You'd seen Law angry before, but never this angry.
You were in some serious trouble.
"No. I mean, I have a crazy hangover, but-" you began to explain before he cut you off again.
"Where the hell were you?"
"Well, I woke up in a hay wagon…I think I may have blacked out. Oops."
Law tensed, balling his hands into tight fists. "You're telling me you were wandering around. Alone. After dark. Drunk out of your mind. Are you insane?" His calm demeanor was starting to scare you.
"I didn't mean to wander off…At least I don't think I did? I don't remember much from last night." You chuckled nervously, fidgeting with the tips of your fingers.
He spun around to face you, and the pained expression he wore on his face startled you, somewhere between intense worry and seething anger. You stepped backward, but your back hit the wall, preventing you from putting any more space between you and the furious man in front of you.
"You think this is funny?" Law asked, still maintaining that eerily calm tone, "What if something happened to you? What if someone tried to hurt you or-" he cut off, his voice cracking slightly. He was slowly losing it.
Guilt shot through your body once again and you looked away, beginning to crumble under the pressure of the captain's intense gaze.
"I guess you'd have to patch me up again then, huh, doc?" You joked, rubbing your arm awkwardly in an attempt to ease the tension that engulfed the room.
Law exploded. In seconds, he moved from the center of the room to hover over you. "This isn't a fucking joke." He seethed, his jaw clenched tight.
You squeezed your eyes shut and pressed yourself against the wall as if you could fall through it and escape this situation. You didn't. He was so close you could feel his rapid breathing on your hair.
"I-" you stumbled over your words. Taking a deep breath before continuing, "I didn't think anyone would-"
Law cut you off by slamming his hand into the wall behind you, making you jump. "Fucking look at me, god damn it!"
You winced and opened your eyes, slowly bringing your gaze to meet his. His brows were creased with anger, but the vulnerability in his eyes shot a dagger through your heart.
"You didn't think anyone would what?" he continued after a moment, "That anyone would care? Ikkaku didn't sleep last night. Neither did Bepo. Penguin and Sachi were out until 1AM looking for you, and I-"
He choked.
The doctor's anger softened ever so slightly as he brought his hand up to cup your cheek gently, "I would have torn that town to pieces until I found you if Penguin hadn't-" He paused, taking a deep breath.
Your eyes widened at his words. "Law.." You breathed, "I'm fine- you didn't have to-"
The man cut you off by running his thumb across your lips, his eyes darkened. Your heart pounded as they flickered down to your lips and then back up to meet yours, calculating. Questioning.
He swallowed. "I'm just.." he trailed off. You could feel his shaky breath against your lips. He leaned closer, bringing his face centimeters away from yours, "terrified of losing you.." he finished.
Then his lips brushed against yours hesitantly. As if he was testing you. Making sure this was okay.
You closed your eyes and pushed your lips to his, giving him your approval.
That was all Law needed.
Releasing the breath he was holding, he moved his lips against yours desperately, bringing his other hand to the other side of your face, caging you between his calloused hands.
He tilted his head to the side, deepening the kiss as you melted into him, running your hands up his chest to rest around his neck.
The doctor let out a muffled groaned as one of his tattooed hands wove its way into your hair while the other slid down to your hips, his thumb slipped under the hem of your shirt igniting a fire that spread throughout your whole body.
The captain flinched as if something had shocked him. Hesitating for a moment. You bit down on his lip softly, wanting more. He recovered instantly, pulling your hips against his while his other hand grabbed a fistful of your hair. You felt your knees grow weak beneath you, stumbling as they gave out entirely.
Law caught you, sliding his whole hand underneath your shirt to settle on your back, holding you tight against him as his mouth devoured yours; slowly, full of desire and self-indulgence.
Everything other than him melted away and you moved your hands to rest on his jawline, holding his face, his lips, exactly where they were as you responded with a passion that almost rivaled his.
Eventually, you both remembered you needed to breathe and reluctantly pulled away, your bodies heaving together as you waited for your lungs to catch up.
The reality of what just happened dawned on you in an instant. You'd just kissed the captain. Heat rushed to your face as your widened eyes met Law's. His cheeks were flushed, and his hair was a mess. The sight made your stomach flutter.
He touched his forehead to yours. "Now do you understand?" he asked breathlessly, his inked thumb drawing small circles over your cheek.
"I think so.." You gave him a nervous smile. "Are you still angry with me?"
"Yes. But I'll get over it." He sighed. "Just don't ever disappear like that again."
#one piece x reader#one piece#trafalgar law x reader#law x reader#trafalgar law#trafalgar d law x reader#x reader#gn reader#one piece fluff
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Character Emotions
amused / angry / annoyed / anxious / apathetic / apprehensive / ashamed / bashful / bored / calm / cheerful / confused / content / delighted / depressed / disappointed / disgusted / eager / ecstatic / embarrassed / enraged / excited / fearful / frustrated / furious / guilty / happy / hopeful / horrified / humiliated / hurt / indifferent / infuriated / intimidated / irritated / joyful / lonely / lovestruck / melancholic / nervous / nostalgic / overwhelmed / peaceful / perplexed / proud / relieved / remorseful / sad / scared / serene / shocked / surprised / tense / thrilled / uneasy / vengeful / worried
#writing#writer on tumblr#writing tips#writerscommunity#character development#writing advice#oc character#writing help#writer tumblr#writblr
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
First post ever. Oh, my. I’m such a noob at this. So bare with me, please!
DP content loading…
Halloween was supposed to be Danny’s night off—a chance to enjoy the frights and fun without worrying about ghosts or ghost hunters. He, Sam, and Tucker were strolling through the rainy streets, drenched but laughing, making their way to a Halloween party. Danny had even gone for a classic look, throwing an old bed sheet over himself. Underneath, he was still Phantom, his ghostly glow hidden, figuring no one would notice on Halloween. Right?
As they got closer to the party, droplets dripping down his soaked sheet, Danny couldn’t help but feel a bit smug. Maybe I’ll get through tonight without a single ghost hunt, he thought, smiling to himself.
But just as he let his guard down, he caught sight of two familiar figures in the distance—his parents, Jack and Maddie, sprinting toward him with their ghost-hunting gear gleaming through the mist. Their ecto-scanners must have picked up his signature. Heart pounding, he backpedaled, slipping and stumbling until he found himself cornered in a nearby alley, the rain pouring down harder, plastering his sheet to his body.
“Uh… can’t I just, like, take a night off?” Danny stammered, pulling the sheet tighter around him, hoping they wouldn’t recognize the glow. “By the way, nice costumes!”
“Costumes?” Maddie smirked, aiming her ecto-blaster, raindrops streaking down her goggles. “Nice try, Phantom, but we’re not here to trick-or-treat.”
Danny shot a desperate look at Sam and Tucker, silently begging for an escape plan. Spoiler alert: they didn’t have one. His parents were closing him inn he hit the back wall of the alley, rain dripping down his face, and in his panic, the sheet slipped from his shoulders, leaving him exposed as Phantom. Great. Just great.
“Well, well, look who’s cornered,” Jack grinned, his blaster humming as he powered it up. “We’ve been saving this tech just for you, Phantom!”
Danny forced a nervous smile, raising his hands in surrender. “Uh, I was just here for the candy, really…”
His dad fired before he could finish, and Danny found himself tangled in an ecto-net, rain-soaked and sputtering as his powers faded. “A net? Really? You can’t do better than that?” he muttered before realizing sarcasm probably wasn’t helping.
“Oh, we’ve got more than that,” Maddie replied, tightening the net with a gleam in her eye. “Tonight, we’re making sure you’re not going anywhere.”
Danny cast a helpless look at Sam and Tucker, rain dripping from his hair. “Uh… a little help?”
Sam shrugged, giving him a teasing smile. “You did say you wanted an exciting Halloween.”
Danny sighed, muttering under his breath, “Should’ve just gone as a ninja…”
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I wanted to draw something for Halloween. And DP is the perfect match for it, for me though. First I didn’t want to draw Dannyyy angry… But all of a sudden his brows were furrowed. So I had to came up with a little story behind the art lol.
Poor Danny is being captured again.
Art made in ProCreate.
DP copyright/rights, belongs to Nickelodeon 🥶
Still pissed they ended the show 17 years ago, but hey. Who am I? Lol.
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PS: stay tuned to see more in the future.
You can also follow my IG: phantomwithbreakfast
I also have an account on FanFiction.net under the same name. So if you want to read something when you’re bored… (posted there my first story—not finished yet)
Also, almost everything is gunna be DP related.
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I don’t know how Tumblr works, even when I had it like… years now—I never used it. But I needed new Social Platforms for specific reasons.
And also, I was a bit anxious about posting my stuff online, but here we are—I finally shared it.
#danny phantom#dps fandom#phandom#halloween#danny fenton#danny phantom fanart#sam manson#tucker foley#maddie fenton#jack fenton#dp fanart#fanfic#nickelodeon
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TO FEEL WHOLE AGAIN — BOOTHILL
synopsis: getting pregnant and left by yourself wasn’t in your plans in life at all, but you end up meeting a man who becomes more than just a friend who’s willing to help.
❥- pairings : boothill x fem!reader
❥- note : so sorry for any inactivity !! life has just been a wreck, but i’m here with a little idea I came up with the other night. i hope you all enjoy <3 reblogs are appreciated !!
content warnings : sfw, fem!reader, ageless + blank blogs dni, pregnancy, abandonment, heavy angst, breakups, mentions of abortion (reader does not have one), mentions of alcohol, human!boothill, angst with happy ending, use of pet names (darling + lovely), fluff, very fluffy things.
You can recall the day you met Boothill like it was the back of your hand.
It was the day your life had begun a completely new journey, but also, the same day that your life had completely fallen apart within just twenty four hours. Every memory was ingrained in your brain like it was never meant to go away. How could things end up going right, but so wrong at the same time?
About seven months prior, you found yourself sitting inside of a bar with tears still staining your cheeks from the incident that had occurred just hours beforehand. Your heart had gleamed, but shattered just minutes after. You questioned why something like this had happened to you. You never wronged anybody. Sure, you weren’t the most perfect person to exist, but as humans, it’s in their nature to make mistakes. Yet, god had different plans for you and they weren’t exactly the most pleasing ones.
Just two days before that day, you had found out you were pregnant.
It came by total surprise. You and your boyfriend weren’t exactly trying for kids, but you both had been together for four years at that point. You noticed something was off about you when your period suddenly missed its usual day, and you were experiencing some very odd symptoms that were unusual. After some convincing from your friends, you decided to go out and purchase a pregnancy test which came back positive. You didn’t know what to feel. You were excited, nervous, emotional, but most of all, anxious. You didn’t know how to break the news to your boyfriend and you weren’t sure whether or not you wanted to keep it.
For a few days, you didn’t say anything to him. You weren’t the best with words and you didn’t want to dump something so sudden onto him either, but he eventually figured it out when he found you one morning throwing up your breakfast into the toilet.
He wasn’t angry or upset, but you knew something wasn’t right with him after he found out. He started to become somewhat distant and he avoided any conversation about the baby growing inside you. Then, that same day you ended up at the bar, you had woken up to him gone. All of his items and personal belongings had been cleaned out, and when you tried to get a hold of him, he just completely ghosted you. You didn’t understand. Was it you? Was it the baby? Why did he just up and leave you like that with zero hesitation? It was like your heart had been shattered into pieces and you didn’t know what to do. He left you alone and pregnant with his child.
Completely brokenhearted and confused, that’s how you ended up in the bar. No, you weren’t drinking any alcohol, but there was a part of you that wanted to head to the clinic and terminate the pregnancy all together. You couldn’t raise a baby on your own. You had seen many stories of mothers defying the odds and managing, but would you be able to? You loved your now ex boyfriend more than life itself. You didn’t think you could fall in love again, and what man would want a single mother as a girlfriend? Most of them would scurry away the second it’s brought up. It wasn’t their job to shame you for whatever choices you made.
The bar's atmosphere was buzzing with people chatting amongst themselves. Despite being around people, you still felt completely isolated inside of it. You kept thinking of the choices in your brain over and over again. It was consuming you, and you didn’t think you were in the right state of mind to make that decision right now.
You were brought out of your thoughts when the bartender placed a glass in front of you. It was filled with some kind of alcohol that looked like it could be a margarita or a martini. Your brows furrowed at the sight of the beverage. You didn’t order it. “U-Um.. sir, I didn’t order this.” you pushed the glass towards the man behind the bar who was cleaning some cups used earlier.
“I know, but that man over there did.” he pointed towards the other end of the bar.
You turned your attention to where he was motioning his hand. Your eyes widened a little at the sight of the man who sat a few seats away from you. He had a cowboy hat on top of his head, and very long hair that stretched past his chair. He was wearing a white button up shirt that exposed his chest just a little. He noticed you were staring at him and winked at you, then waved a little. It didn’t seem creepy or strange, but you didn’t know how to react. Despite feeling the way you did, you couldn’t help but think how handsome he was. He had a cunning smile and seemed like one of those cowboys you would have heard of in stories you heard when you were younger, but you knew you couldn’t accept his drink.
Soon enough, you turned away and just pushed your drink from your reach. You didn’t want to do anything stupid. If it came off as rude, then so be it. You weren’t about to fight with another man this evening.
You decided to check your phone. There was a small bit of hope that was in your heart. You hoped that maybe your ex reached out to you to fix things or maybe had something to say, but unfortunately, there was nothing. You had a few random notifications from friends, but otherwise, it was silence on the other end. God, you felt like an idiot. He was gone for good. Men who do that shit typically fall off the face of the earth and never come back again.
“Hey, sweetheart, mind if I take this spot next to ya?”
You practically jumped out of your skin at the sudden voice that spoke beside you. Your head snapped towards the sound, and you were a bit surprised to see that man who was sitting across the bar now standing next to you. His cologne filled your nose. It smelled of deep wood with a mix of pine.
Your words got caught in your throat. Was he doing this to make you uncomfortable? Part of you wanted to ignore him, but he wasn’t necessarily doing anything wrong. “N-No! Go ahead.. it’s empty anyway..” you replied, trying to avoid his eyes that were boring holes into your face.
The man plopped beside you, taking a swig of his glass that seemed to be filled with some kind of whisky. He was quiet, at first. You weren’t sure if striking up a conversation was in your cards tonight. You were honestly too lost in your thoughts, and somewhat a little nauseated. “So, uh, do ya come around here often? You’re quite the peach if I say so myself.” he placed his cheek against his fist which was resting against the table beside him.
“I don’t..” you replied, dryly.
He seemed a little discouraged by your sudden lack of enthusiasm. It wasn’t your intention, but really, you weren’t interested. “I see.. my name’s Boothill.” he said. “Yours?”
Your eyes flickered towards him then back at the soda can that your hand was wrapped around. This was starting to feel awkward or almost like a forced conversation. You didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but you wanted him to take the hint. “(Y/N)..” you looked at your cell phone to try and avoid him. “Look.. I-I appreciate the drink, but I’m not really interested in a relationship. I just don’t.. I..”
Before you were even able to finish your sentence, tears began to trickle down your cheeks. You didn’t even know you were holding them in until they began to slip from your eyes.
Boothill was taken back by your sudden tears. He immediately felt guilt wash over him. He didn’t mean to come off as a weirdo or forceful towards you. That’s the last thing he would ever do. “Hey.. I’m sorry, shit, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I-I can totally take the drink back and get out of your hair.” he stood up out of his chair to leave the bar.
You started to wipe your cheeks of any liquid that was on them. “N-No, it’s alright, it’s not you..” you shook your head. “I’ve just had a rough couple of hours.. believe me, it’s not you at all.”
The man was unsure of what to reply with. Regardless, he felt very bad for you. Not many people come into bars to weep. Most of the time, they come to do the opposite and use the drinks to numb any negative feelings they have. He didn’t want to pry by any means. “I see.. I’m still sorry, darlin’ I had no idea..” he paused for a moment thinking of what to say next. “If you wanna talk, I’m willing to listen, can’t guarantee I’m any good at advice, but I can be an open ear.”
You weren’t sure if venting your feelings to a complete stranger would make any difference in how you felt. It's not like he would care much anyway. He would probably look at you with that same look every other person had given you when you told them what your ex did.
However, you were completely wrong.
That day you told Boothill everything that had happened to you. He was completely blown away when you confessed that you were pregnant. He kept apologizing for the drink and was somewhat worried that you felt disrespected, but you didn’t take any offense. It’s not like he knew, nor were you even showing at that point.
Although he didn’t know you, he had a lot of sympathy for you. He told you that your boyfriend wasn’t a man, but a young boy who couldn’t take responsibility for his actions and he didn’t deserve you by any means. Boothill felt as if abandoning a woman and her child was the sickest thing you could ever do in this life, and you couldn’t help but agree. Especially after spending many years together.
It felt kind of nice to have someone listen. Even if he was some random person you didn’t know, there was at least somebody out there who was willing to give you the time of day.
You felt a little dull when you realized you would probably never see Boothill again, but you thanked him many times for his patience. He was even sweet enough to walk you back to your apartment which wasn’t very far from the bar at all. Typically, you weren’t so trusting when it came to men in general, but Boothill’s energy felt secure for some reason. You didn’t feel fear or unease around him. Your body would always give you signs someone wasn’t good, but you were calm and didn’t have a single issue.
For a little while, you wondered if keeping the child was the right option, but after a lot of conversations with your friends and family, and oddly enough, Boothill, you decided to go forward with the pregnancy.
You thought you would have to do it alone, but that changed almost instantly when you started receiving random items at your doorstep one morning.
You had a stable job, but you knew babies weren’t a walk in the park financially. Your parents offered to help pay for whatever was necessary, but you felt bad for making them do such a thing. It all started to shift when you discovered a package outside your apartment door. You had a box of different supplies. Baby shampoo, baby bottles, wipes, lotions. It was basic necessities for an infant and you were a bit confused how they showed up there. You questioned your parents but they denied ordering anything of the sorts, so you wondered who gifted it to you.
Your friends were also clueless. They had gifts in mind but they weren’t planning on purchasing anything that early on in your pregnancy. You hadn’t even planned on a baby shower or anything of the sorts.
It didn’t take long for more things to arrive. One morning, you saw that you had been given some baby toys. They were small and quite cute, but you still had yet to discover who was the one leaving them at your doorstep. You wondered if it was potentially your ex trying to somehow compensate you for deserting you, but would he really? He left you alone with the baby. It was clear enough that he wasn’t interested in helping to raise it, so why put in the effort to accommodate you? He could care less about you.
It all changed when you were leaving your apartment one afternoon. You had an appointment at the doctor’s office to check on how the baby was doing, and standing right beside your front door was not your ex, but Boothill.
At first, you didn’t notice him holding a box of items in his hand, but the realization soon took over that he was the one buying the gifts. You were taken by complete surprise. The two of you had hardly interacted much during that time period, so it did confuse you why he was helping you. He wasn’t obligated to just because you informed him of what your ex did. It wasn’t like you were begging him for money or assistance either. Boothill was just as surprised to see you there too. He usually would stop by when he knew you wouldn’t be around, but he knew sooner or later the truth would come out.
With a flushed face, Boothill began to explain himself.
He told you that he just couldn’t let you go on that journey alone. He knew it wasn’t his responsibility to be buying you things or even being involved in your life like that, but at the same time, he couldn’t sleep at night knowing that you were all alone and there wasn’t anybody else to be there for you. He did apologize if it made you uncomfortable and he wouldn’t come around again if that was the case.
However, you told him the opposite. You were very thankful for what he had been doing for you. Not many men would step up and just go out of their way to buy things for a baby that wasn’t theirs. You told him you were very appreciative of what he had done, and he could come around as often as he liked. It was kind of lonely being by yourself all of the time. Your friends weren’t always the most available, and you lived on your own. It felt nice to know that somebody wanted to spend time with you. He was relieved that you weren’t weirded out or upset with his actions. He wanted to do the right thing.
Much to his surprise, you invited him to come to your ultrasound that day, and he was thrilled.
Your interactions grew over the course of a few months. You started seeing him everyday and he came around whenever you needed something. Boothill didn’t mind spending his days with you. It was a joy to watch your belly grow and to see your baby begin to become larger than it was before. His favorite moments were when he’d feel a small kick or movement. He loved kids. It was a guilty pleasure of his, and he honestly couldn’t wait to meet your baby girl. He made so many bets that it was going to be a girl and you thought he would somehow be wrong, but he was right the entire time.
Along with the baby's growth, there were also feelings between you and Boothill too. He was the first man in your life since your ex and he treated you so much better. He did everything for you, and the baby wasn’t even his. He would spend time helping you tidy up your house, holding your hair away from your face when you had morning sickness, making you tea, giving you massages whenever your body felt sore. Boothill did everything. He even offered at one point to do the entire nursery for you when your due date came closer, but you assured him that it wasn’t his duty to do so.
But, he planned on doing it anyway.
All of your friends told you to go for it. They said that Boothill was what you needed and they could tell he was into you too, but you were still unsure. If anything, he could be doing all of this just to somehow hurt you in the end or claim you “owed” him a relationship for doing everything for the baby. You knew that probably wasn’t the case, but you were still on the fence.
But, was he?
-
That afternoon, you had woken up from a nap to a knocking coming from your front door. You weren’t expecting any guests, but you had already assumed it was Boothill who was there to do his usual drop by to check in on you.
You unlocked the front door, pulling it open so he could enter. He was dressed in his usual outfit. A white button shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and those cowboy boots that you had made fun of a few times. Boothill was used to just entering your place at that point. “Afternoon, darlin’” he said, shutting the door behind him.
Your hair was a bit messy from your nap and you weren’t really dressed up. You wore an oversized t-shirt with a pair of shorts that sat just below your belly. It was a lot more comfortable than the regular pajamas you were used to wearing months ago, but alas, the growth of your body had made those a lot less comfortable these days. Boothill still thought you were gorgeous despite the messy look. “Hi..” you yawned. “Sorry, I’m fresh from a nap. I didn’t hear my alarm..”
“Not a problem, I was just stopping by to drop something off for you.” he replied, handing you a box that had your name on top of it.
Your eyes flickered from the box to the man who was staring down at you. You were used to him giving you random things for the baby here and there, so you were expecting something that was a necessity. “I’m curious, let me see.” you then began opening at the box to see what was inside of it.
After a few seconds, you pulled out a small blanket, but it wasn’t one that was from the store. It was actually homemade, and right in the center was the baby name you had picked out stitched into the fabric with baby pink lace. It was probably the most adorable thing you had ever received from him. It was so soft and you could already picture yourself swaddling your little girl in the blanket itself. The fact that it was homemade as well made it even more special than it already was.
You weren’t sure if it was the pregnancy emotions or not, but you could feel warm tears burning your eyes. It was truthfully making you feel so happy for this pregnancy, but most of all for Boothill. You couldn’t be more blessed with a man like him. “I-I.. I love it..” you sniffled, trying to hide your tears. “It’s so cute..”
Boothill was concerned with your sudden emotions. He didn’t mean to make you cry. If anything, he wanted to do something special for you since you were a special person in his life. “Ahh.. shit, I’m sorry, lovely, is it too much?” he asked, nodding his head.
You shook your head, laughing in the process to try and halt the tears slipping through your eyes. It was the furthest thing from too much. You adored it. You didn’t care if the stitching was a little crooked or if the pink was somewhat bright, it was cute. It had to be one of the best gifts you had ever gotten. “N-No! I love it! It’s something I wouldn’t have imagined you’d give me! Did you do it all on your own?” you looked up at him with an eyebrow raised.
He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Haha.. yeah, that’s why it might seem a little messy. I got the idea though and figured why not? You need something to swaddle that little monster with!” he smiled, which made you smile as well.
Boothill was taken back when he suddenly felt your arms wrap around him. This was the first time you had ever initiated any sort of physical contact with him, and he wasn’t sure how to react to it. Your body felt warm and your belly was against his own abdomen. He could smell the scent of your shampoo lingering in your hair, and it almost intoxicated him from how delicious it smelled. He hesitated for a brief moment, then settled his own arms around your waist. It just felt.. so right to be hugging you. He had yearned for quite a while to feel your touch, and now that he had it, he wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip through his fingers.
Your cheeks felt hot at the realization that you two were so close. There was so much going through your mind at the moment, and all you craved was him. His presence, his touch, his warmth, anything. It was all you wanted. “Boothill.. I want you there when she’s born..” you spoke, softly. “I want you by my side.. you deserve that more than anybody else.”
His eyes grew wide at your words. Sure, he knew he was going to visit when your baby was finally born, but in the room? During the birth? Oh, he could faint right about now. “Of course I’ll be there, sugar. You know I wouldn’t miss it.” he replied, smiling at the thought of your birth.
Boothill then crouched down to meet your belly. He hadn’t ever done that before while being with you. You felt his hands touch your stomach, seemingly searching for your little girl who was somewhere in there. It felt so natural for him to be doing this. You didn’t feel off or weirded out. You loved the way his fingers explored your skin, touching and grazing at the stretch marks that had formed within time, but what you loved the most, was him.
“Can’t wait to meet your little one.. she’ll be a peach, I know it.” he looked up at you with a grin.
“Our.. little one.”
Boothill paused when the words slipped from your lips. He thought he had misheard you for a second. “W-What..?” his brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
You felt a little bashful having to repeat yourself. You weren’t sure what his reaction might be to you saying such a thing, but you couldn’t keep quiet anymore about your feelings. You wanted him involved in your daughter’s life so badly. It would kill you inside if that wasn’t the case. “O-Our.. baby, Boothill.” you said, avoiding his gaze that was fixed on you.
He stood up, still staring at your face with a serious expression. It was like his heart had completely blown up inside of his chest. It was like he was falling in love with you all over again at that very moment. He couldn’t feel more honored that you thought of him that way. “You’re serious..?” he questioned, looking into your eyes.
“Y-Yes.. god, yes, Boothill. I don’t care if she’s not technically yours.. in the end, I want you in her life, and mine too. I can’t imagine a life without you..” you whispered, intertwining your fingers with his.
He couldn’t hide his wide smile at your confession. All of the love he had swallowed down was now completely overflowing, and he didn’t mind whatsoever. You were so beautiful. He adored you so much, and he was more than happy to call you his girlfriend. He was also thrilled to have a daughter. He could care less if people would judge him for raising a child that wasn’t his. He was more of a father to her than any other man would be.
He suddenly pulled you close to him, pressing a kiss onto your lips. It was so passionate and loving. He couldn’t stop himself. It was like he was finally able to have what he wanted, and it felt amazing. “I love you so much, darling, you don’t even know how deep my love runs for you..” he pressed his forehead against your own. “I’d die for you and our little angel..”
A grin appeared on your face. This was all you ever wanted to hear. You didn’t think you would ever have the opportunity to hear him say such things, but you couldn’t be happier it was coming true. “I love you more, Boothill.” you then placed his hand on your belly. “And I know she does too..”
The both of you couldn’t be more excited at that moment. It was all perfect. You had everything you ever wanted. Neither of you imagined that this life would be in front of you now, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
© NXUVILLETTE ┆ all rights reserved, do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.
#·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ official work !#boothill x reader#boothill x you#boothill x y/n#boothill fluff#boothill fanfiction#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#star rail x reader#star rail x you#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr x y/n#hsr fluff#star rail fluff#honkai star rail fluff#honkai star rail fanfiction#hsr fanfic
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Splattered Coffee and Spare Blouses
A/n: hello lovelies! this is my first ever fanfic so please be kind to me when you read this 🫣 any sort of feedback will be appreciated🤞also there is no physical description of reader, that picture was just the first cute white blouse that i saw on pinterest. i hope you like it!
content: coworker!rafe x coworker!reader
content warnings: complete ooc rafe, like not even a little bit canon. jealous rafe. desperate reader and rafe. idiots in love fr. coworkers/office au (?)
word count: 1.2k words
*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊ ₊˚༺☆༻
Rafe is too busy drinking in the sweet melody of your voice to catch the actual content of your conversation with Matt. Or is it Mark? Mason? It doesn’t matter what his name is, the only relevant thing about the guy is that he delivers the paper to the office, and Rafe knows they’re getting a paper restock when he hears the tee-heeing of your giggle aimed at something supposedly funny that Miles joked about as he stacks the reams of paper on the tall shelves behind your desk.
You don’t actually ‘tee-hee’, it’s more of a soft chortle. Rafe likes to think he knows the difference, he tries to bypass these dreary office hours by studying each laughter.
First he takes in the sound and how much it made his heart clench, then he looks at your expression; happy, shy, nervous, anxious (he’s even found the difference between those two!), angry. Lastly he takes in the context of the laugh.
It’s definitely a titter when your boss is reprimanding your newest co-worker with the frosted tips, it’s a hodgepodge of a shy-nervous giggle when your boss is reprimanding you, and it’s absolutely a guffaw when Rafe delivers a joke he’d been meticulously planning before he presents it to you.
It usually doesn’t matter what type of laugh it is, the soundwaves from it wrap his heart up and squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, until Rafe forces himself to leave the room, because it can’t be normal to feel this way about a girl you've only been working with for the last three months.
But this isn’t all those other times, it's that unusual time of the month. What could a man who delivers paper to a pool coverings company possibly say to make you let out that joyous sound? What does a pool company even need paper for? Rafe, running his pointer finger along the rim of his coffee mug, comes up blank when he starts to really think about the former rhetorical question, he’s not too sure he ever wants to interact with Mike that will allow him to find out.
Too late. The kerfuffle Rafe accidently caused due to clumsy hands and an even clumsier brain leaves his (luckily) empty mug toppled, but Rafe’s not so blessed when his fallen over mug lands on his pen, triggering it to leap from his desk and splatter into your (unluckily) full mug.
You spin around in your chair at the commotion of Rafe’s, “Shit!”.
Rafe thinks being shot in the big toe would be less painful than this. It’s a Grade A Disaster. All he can see is the deep brown liquid dispersed in sporadic splats all over your previously white blouse.
“Holy shit, are you alright?”, Marcus is pulling out his handkerchief, of course Paper guy carries a handkerchief, in record time, dabbing away at the marks that have the clear intention to find a permanent home on your work top.
Rafe isn’t given a chance to play hero, before Milo is badgering, “Man, why are you doing trick shots right now? Aren’t you a sales guy?”, Rafe; however, is too mortified to think about a snarky comeback as he instead spews out a stumbled apology.
“Y/N, I-I am so so sorry– tha-that really wasn’t on purpose! I-I can–I will replace your shirt after work, I’m so sorry!”, it all comes out jumbled and untidy. A red-faced Rafe runs a hand down his face in exasperation before he’s suddenly up and grabbing at the fallen dishware, “Let me just-let me go get you some paper tow-”
You put an end to his unnecessary apologies with a gentle touch to his right hand that possesses the culprit. Rafe thinks his heart actually stopped.
The grin you bless him with manages to calm him down, “Rafe, you're okay! Don’t stress about it–really. It’s an old blouse anyway.”
And…what?
Rafe just managed to completely demolish your clothes, yet it’s you who is showing him kindness in this weak moment, “Look, if you’re really bummed out about it and want to reimburse me, I do need to go to the mall after this so…”, you drag out and let him fill in the blanks.
So did the mug actually fall onto Rafe’s head? Did he fall into a state of unconsciousness and wake up in a dream land? This can’t be real.
The scoff and retreat of Marcello’s boots snap him out of his thoughts, this is his life. This is his life and he has been staring at you in disbelief for too many silent seconds because you quickly begin to slip the offer out of his hands, “Uhh–well you don’t really have to join me to shop, I just thought since-”, now you're interrupted by Rafe’s reassurances,
“No! Wait–I mean yes! Erm I don’t actually know what I’m meaning to say”, you think the blush sporting his face has got to be the cutest thing you’ve possibly ever seen as he carries on, “I would love to come with you, please!” Jesus, he thinks, try sounding more desperate, he quickly corrects himself.
“Yeah, yeah, that would be cool if I join along. I-If you don’t mind obviously…” he trails off, unsure and not wanting to impose, despite you literally just inviting him.
The shyness is evident in your voice when you softly say, “No, it would absolutely be fun if you came with”, God, you think, why did I add absolutely in there, he’s gonna think I’m desperate.
“Okay cool.”
“Cool.”
Henry, your coworker with the frosted tips, stands at the corner of Rafe’s desk with his arms crossed, “Can I get some paper or do I need to wait another five minutes until your flirting is done?”
The both of you cower slightly in embarrassment at his teasing, but don’t let it dim the bright smiles adorning your faces. Rafe is sure that there’s nothing in this moment that could, he just scored a hang out with the female coworker that he’s been crushing on for weeks now! Not even the sight of smug Martin could kick him off this high right now.
Your too-old desk chair groans as you stand from it, and suddenly Rafe’s worried that Henry’s comment may have bothered you, “Where are you going?”, his rushed tone causes a giggle to escape you,
“My top is still soaked Rafe”, you gesture to the stained garment with a laugh, “I’m just gonna fetch the spare in my car. What? Do you want to walk with me there too?” Rafe misses the joking lilt of your voice because he’s up and walking towards the reception before you can stop him.
When the two of you return from your car, you with a clean (albeit slightly wrinkled from sitting in your ‘just in case’ bag) blouse on and Rafe with a bashful expression, Henry wiggles his eyebrows at the pair of you, implying something out of nothing. You both ignore it and get back to your work, not without the two of you sneaking glances at each other when you know the other isn’t looking.
Long forgotten are Max’s bad jokes and flirting, Henry’s annoying teasing, and this afternoon’s coffee disaster as you and Rafe walk side by side in the mall, he doesn’t think life can get better than this.
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#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron smut#outerbanks#outerbanks fanfiction#obx#rafe outerbanks#rafe cameron fanfic
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We all know Damian’s not one for physical or verbal affection. So I raise you: drawings
Drawings and paintings are the easiest way inside Damian’s mind. The more angry or disturbed he is, the more details the drawing is and the palette depends on the emotion. Fear? Bright lights with one pitch black spot. Anxious? A mixture of dark and light colours.
No matter what he draws, the batfam always looks for how detailed it is. On days he’s happy or content the drawing looks a bit abstract, like too many ideas were flowing and he didn’t mind making a mess (not having a specific direction) of his drawing.
But it’s also how he shows affection.
On Dicks birthday he once painted the entire circus along with a little dick laughing and swinging on the trapeze with his parents with the crew doing their acts and the animals having fun.
That was the first indication Dick had of Damian’s change in behaviour that showed him he was willing to open up, to care and change…even if it took time.
Jason found a particularly striking portrait of his favourite scene from a book, painted with a magnificent splendour with every detail and symbolism present, with the characters drawn just as he’d imagined. It’s so beautiful he hangs it in one of his most visited safe houses, and it isn’t until later when he realises it could have been the reason Damian stole his favourite book which contained notes on each scene.
Alfred catches a glimpse of Damian painting something he insists is for Bruce’s eyes only, but the palette was a mixture of bright colours.
Only on his parents death anniversary, when all his siblings are in town and sitting in a room with Bruce when he taps on Dick, Jason and Steph’s shoulders and asks them to come with him. They’re hesitant at first but the vulnerability in his eyes finally wins them over.
Damian knows how to draw, but not how to present, especially when everyone’s watching and he doesn’t know how they’ll react, or rather how Bruce would.
So they help him figure out how he wants to show Bruce, and on his request together take the painting and unveil it in front of Bruce when they’re all standing on the Balcony.
It’s a picture of the entire family, with all the newest members and in the background homages of their superhero identities, along with Easter eggs for poison ivy, Harley, the justice league and so many others.
But in the centre was Bruce, standing in the centre of his parents and all the other members in order from oldest to youngest, surrounding him.
It was the first time Damian learnt that tears aren’t always a bad thing.
#batman fluff#batman#Bruce Wayne#superman#Clark Kent#dick Grayson#nightwing#Stephanie brown#spoiler#Robin#Damian wayne#Jason todd#red hood#poison ivy#harely quinn#batfam#batfamily fluff#batbrothers fluff#Alfred pennyworth#heartwarming
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I Want to Watch (part 6)
Pairing: Wooyoung x reader x Hongjoong (feat. Jongho) Word Count: 3.3K Genre: Pure Filth 🔞 Warnings: 18+, MDNI, Explicit Content
Arguments between the members can lead to very very enjoyable outcomes provided you are up for it of course.
(for Elise @ocean-dreamer-sky-chaser please don't hate me 😆)
You were happy to lay in the warmth that Wooyoung had left behind, leaving you to continue dozing as he started getting ready, showering and then going into the kitchen to make you both breakfast. You had heard both Jongho and Hongjoong moving around but you figured since it was a late schedule you would be able to spend some time with Wooyoung before he left for his work day. Stretching you could hear the voices in the kitchen getting slightly louder, Wooyoung seemed to be bickering about something but when you heard Hongjoong’s voice cut through it you knew it was serious.
“You can not be fucking serious Wooyoung. What is wrong with you?” Hongjoong scolded heatedly “This is exactly the behavior that tarnishes companies and destroys groups”.
“It’s not like that hyung, it’s not competitive and nobody is getting hurt. I even made a set of rules that everyone agrees on before things happen” you boyfriend balked, obviously offended by the accusation. “Nothing happens without everyone agreeing”.
“It’s true hyung, I agreed and Wooyoung told me what was and wasn’t ok and nothing went wrong. We are adults. We can recognize that this isn’t a "who gets her” at all”. Jongho replied calmly, trying to explain things clearly.
“Did she agree or did you just spring this on her? Because I swear if she is only doing this for you and not really consenting…” Hongjoong trailed off furious “And what happens if it gets out that one of us has a girlfriend who we all fucking share??? We are going to be seen as filthy perverts”.
“Of course she consents hyung! I love her, I would never force her into anything” Wooyoung snapped back nastily, his voice getting louder. “She has the final say if anything happens or not if she says no we will just continue like it never happened and will never speak of it again”.
Swallowing hard and feeling anxious, you quickly slipped out of Wooyoung’s bed and into the bathroom hoping you could pretend you were showering and not eavesdropping on them all arguing. With the hot water running over your body you didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, only when Wooyoung knocked on the bathroom door did you realize he must have finished making breakfast.
“Hi baby” he smiled sweetly, his eyes traveling the length of your naked form “I made you breakfast”.
“Thank you Wooyo” you blew him a kiss as you washed the last of the soap bubbles from your body. You got yourself dressed and left the bathroom to find him sitting on the bed waiting for you coffee in hand. “You are too good for me, my love”.
“So we have four nights of filming for this music video. Will you be able to come round after?” he raised his eyebrow slightly as he watched you take a sip.
“Yeah, I can do that” you sighed “but only if Hongjoong isn’t still mad, I don’t want to ruin your career or the others reputations”.
“So you did hear that then” Wooyoung blanched slightly, his face falling “Like Jongho said we are all consenting adults, there are no feelings involved, besides the ones between us, so it shouldn’t matter. Plus the guys don’t think less of you if anything they respect you more”.
“Of course because we all know sleeping around earns women respect Woo” you rolled your eyes hard as he flushed pink. “But just tell me when the shoot is over and I’ll come back around”.
Four nights turned into four and a half nights so when your phone lit up just after midnight you expected to be met with an exhausted sounding boyfriend who just needed you to come round to cuddle after a long schedule not an over excited and smug sounding Wooyoung and an angry sounding Hongjoong in the background.
“Woo? What do you need?” you yawned having been asleep before his summons.
“Can you come round? Actually can we pick you up and take you to the dorm? We’re about 20 minutes away from your place”. Wooyoung’s honeyed voice told you everything you needed to know about what kind of night you were going to have. “Hyung wants to try something new with you”.
“Alright I’ll get ready and meet you out the front of the building” you breath coming out unevenly as scenarios flooded into your mind about what he could be proposing. Hongjoong had seemed so angry at the idea so something must have changed his mind for him to agree to pick you up on the way home. Stripping out of your pajamas you packed a clean pair into your bag and picked out a white set of mesh lingerie to wear underneath your track pants and t-shirt.
You got downstairs just in time to watch the dark van pull over and the door slide open to reveal Hongjoong looking every part the captain of the demon line and your smirking boyfriend who quickly tugged you into the car and into the seat beside him kissing you desperately, his tongue swirling with yours in a battle for dominance.
“You are alright with this?” Hongjoong smiled slyly watching you with Wooyoung “You can say no at any time and it will be like it never happened”.
“Joongie I want this” You smirked, meeting his eyes and watching them darken in the low light of the car, the more interest he showed the more confidence you felt.
“Good, I won’t go easy on you” his voice seductive and low, his words sending sparks of heat bloom in your core, your arousal already making your underwear damp, Wooyoung soon reclaimed your mouth, his hands squeezing everywhere he could reach.
Entering the apartment you were passed between the boys Hongjoong easily taking control and pressing you against the wall by your throat his lips meeting yours only moments before his tongue invaded your mouth, whimpering you allowed him to do whatever he pleased with you as you vaguely heard Wooyoung grunt throatily as he watched you. Hongjoong’s knee pressed firmly against your crotch making you buck and squirm against his hard thigh for some friction.
“My room” Hongjoong ordered quietly, making you tremble in his grasp. Wooyoung grabbed your wrist just about dragging you down the hallway to the oldest room while Hongjoong followed his hands never leaving your body.
“Have you ever had a safeword?” Hongjoong’s silky voice washed over you as you entered his room, his hands moving to massage your hips keeping you grounded in the moment.
“No, never” you breathed softly, your voice slightly uneven at idea.
“If you want me to stop, say red and if you are fine with what I’m doing, say green” He smiled pressing his lips to the shell of your ear while you nodded eagerly. Wooyoung was already palming himself through his jeans as he watched the older man turn you around and kiss you again this time winding his hand into your hair and tugging it hard enough to tilt your head back so he could continue his ministrations down your neck. Whimpering quietly you could feel the graze of his blunt fingernails against your scalp every time you moved.
“Be a good girl baby and let hyung play” Wooyoung cooed, his eyes already glazed with lust.
“Yes, be a good girl for me” Hongjoong teased, repeating your boyfriend’s instructions as his hand wandered down to find the bare skin of your waist. “Strip”. Following his instructions you shimmied out of your pants and pulled your hoodie over your head leaving you in just the lingerie you had picked out only half an hour before
“Such a beautiful little thing you are” Hongjoong murmured against the skin of your throat making you shiver “You will look so fucking good tied up”.
“Please Joonie” you whimpered, eyes wide as Wooyoung groaned softly from Hongjoong’s chair, his hooded eyes darkening by the second.
“Not yet” he smirked, hands moving to cup your breasts, his thumbs brushing your nipples in slow circles making you sigh softly “first your slutty desperate boyfriend is going to eat your pussy until you can't take it anymore”. Pulling away from you he moved to haul Wooyoung to his feet roughly shoving him in your direction busying himself by going to the wardrobe to pull out a large black box and putting on the bed beside you. Several different cords emerged from it along with vibrators, a riding crop, a blindfold and cuffs Hongjoong’s fingers tracing over each one as he considered his plans for you.
“Don’t just stand there” Hongjoong chuckled darkly looking at Wooyoung’s flushed face “take care of your girl”.
You stepped towards your boyfriend capturing his lips in a soft kiss which he easily deepened his tongue pushing between your lips to move with yours. Pulling you against him he stiffly began moving, his hands trailing down your sides and eventually grasping your hips to push you back towards the bed.
“You are so fucking into watching us use your precious lover but cant deal with one of us watching you?” Hongjoong’s cruel laugh cut through the silence of the room. Wooyoung stopped kissing you, his eyes narrowing in annoyance momentarily before picking you up and sitting on the bed forcing you to straddle his legs.
“If you want a show hyung you can have one” he smiled challengingly, easily unclipping your bra and throwing it towards Hongjoong’s feet. Wooyoung ran his hands over your skin one hand gripping the curve of your arse and the other holding your waist dipping his head to take a nipple into his mouth sucking and biting it gently before switching sides teasing you until you were breathily whimpering clutching his hair in your fingers. His hands encouraged you to grid on his length the rough fabric of your jeans pushing your lacy underwear to graze against your folds creating just enough friction to get you desperately whining.
“Such a needy little one” Hongjoong cooed.
“Lay back baby, let me taste how sweet you are” Wooyoung groaned, his confidence coming back from how easily you responded to him scrambling onto the sheets and slipping your underwear down your legs. Wooyoung grinned as you slowly spread your legs for him letting you take hold of your ankles and tug you down the bed to where he wanted you before over dramatically lick a long slow stripe through your drenched folds your head fell back against the mattress your breathy sounds making Wooyoung groan into your slick flesh.
“I think we should start small” Hongjoong hummed his eyes meeting yours letting you whine under Wooyoung's talented tongue Hongjoong slowly began wrapping the soft thin cord around one of your wrists making sure that it wasn't too tight or likely to slip if you pulled on it he then passed the length of it through one of the many spaces in his bed head and laid the rest of it beside you. Your brain could only half focus as your boyfriend pushed a third finger into you, the lewd squelch of your slick folds filling the room.
"How can you look so fucked out when we haven't even started yet?" Hongjoong leaned down his breath ghosting across your ear "I can't wait to see you after I've actually fucked you".
"Fuck" you whimpered your walls tightening around Wooyoung's digits as even more of your wetness leaked out of your stretched hole. Wooyoung instantly stopped lapping at your clit and stilled his fingers watching you carefully.
"She's so close, hyung want me to stop?" he asked, your essence smeared all over his lips and chin. Hongjoong nodded, gesturing for your boyfriend to stand and help him move you to the middle of the bed before he started tying the cord around your other wrist and then looping it around your other wrist so they were locked together above your head.
"Now remember green means I can continue and red means I stop, alright?" Hongjoong purred in your ear before claiming your lips, his teeth biting into your lip much harder this time making you squeak in surprise. "I want you to roll over now and show me your pretty little arse". You did as you were told able to pull your elbows under yourself to prop yourself up nerves and excitement both thundering through your body waiting for Hongjoong to act you felt the bed shift as he traced his fingers teasingly up your thigh until he met your hip before dipping between your folds to push just the tips of two of his fingers inside you making you arch your arse even further into the air as his thumb teased you sticky slit.
"Aw look at you my slutty little baby already so eager for hyung to fuck you" Wooyoung breathed heavily his pants already off leaning him in just his boxers his cock straining against the fabric.
"Want him so much Woo" you whimpered, pushing yourself back against his fingers to try to get them to slide further into you.
"Tsk don't misbehave or I'll have to punish you" Hongjoong warned the smirk on his face clear as day in his voice. You could help the tremble that ran across your skin making Hongjoong hum, slowly removing his fingers again his hand rubbed a few light circles on your left cheek before a loud smacking it down hard on your soft skin making it jiggle under his palm. You inhaled sharply your eyes wide as he repeated it, his hand stinging more the second time before he soothed it again. "Color?"
"Green" you gasped softly feeling another wave of arousal drip out of you unsure how much more turned on you could get without crying and neither of them had even fucked you yet.
"So hot" Wooyoung mumbled as Hongjoong slapped your pink stained skin again, a satisfied grumble leaving his throat as you moaned loudly.
"Such a good little thing" Hongjoong praised his hand massaging the now red skin "Wooyoung, invite Jongho in don't want him missing out on seeing what he can hear".
"Really, fuck, yeah sure" Wooyoung seemed to choke on his tongue as his eyes widened rushing out of the room to bang on Jongho's door urgently, you couldn't hear what was said or whether Jongho was even in there your ears too tuned in to the sound of a lid clicking open and cold liquid hitting your puckered arsehole.
"I'm going to fuck this juicy little pussy until you scream then I'm going to fuck your arse until you can't remember anything but my cock" Hongjoong whispered linging his tip up with your entrance and pushing in slowly. Your jaw dropped in a silent moan as he filled you every vein on his dick rubbing perfectly against your velvet walls.
"Holy shit" Jongho groaned stopping just inside the doorway of the bedroom his face flushing instantly as he watched his captain slowly fucking into you you hands tied below you.
"Move" Wooyoung grunted pushing past Jongho to return the desk chair he was watching you from "Grab a chair or get out already".
"Focus on me only on how good I'm fucking you" Hongjoong demanded his voice low as his index finger started circling the tight ring of muscle pushing and probing gently as he worked you open slowly his hips snapping hard against you as he thrust his length as far deep as you could take him.
"Yes, yes only you Joongie" you sighed the pleasure in your core slowly building as he continued to hit your g spot with each movement.
"You're really going to let hyung take her like that?" Jongho moaned, his sweats pulled down his hand already pumping his cock. Wooyoung just grunted the sound almost guttural as he pulled his cock back out of his boxers. You couldn't help the whine that left your lips the sound so needy and pathetic that once again your boyfriend groaned the sound broken in his throat by the speed of his hand.
Pushing a second finger into you Hongjoong carefully scissored his fingers to help with the stretch you were still relaxed since his cock was continuing to brush against your favorite spot that made you see fireworks but when he pushed the third finger in you tensed making him snap his hips faster forcing his tip to kiss your cervix with each movement which in turn made your head spin. Your pleasure from your core spreading and burning in your veins until your walls began tightening around him.
"Be a good girl and cum on my dick" Hongjoong ordered his voice firm, his cock continuing to pump into you deeply "Now". You almost screamed as your walls pulsed around him, your back going rigid and your legs shaking so hard you thought you were going to fall but Hongjoong kept you in place thrusting shallowly into you to prolong your high. "Such a good girl for this first part".
Pulling his fingers and his still hard cock from you Hongjoong let you collapse onto the bed breathing hard as he urged you to roll onto your side leaving you facing your boyfriend and Jongho. Hongjoong gently lifted your leg leaving your glistening and swollen pussy on full display before he filled your still quivering cunt with a vibrator which made you arch your back and cry out incoherently overstimulation making your walls pulse around the toy. Not letting you adjust he slowly pushed himself into your tight ring, the stretch from his thickness and feeling of overwhelming fullness bringing tears to your waterline.
“Color?” Hongjoong breathed hesitating before sinking himself completely inside you.
“Fuck. HongJoong. Green” you slurred feeling lightheaded as your overstimulation began to once again turn into the slow burning of pleasure.
“So fucking tight” Hongjoong cursed sinking himself in completely before pulling almost all the way out and snapping his hips back into you. Your high pitched keen filled the room as your whole body jostled with every thrust of his hips. You could hear Jongho’s heavy breathing followed by the short broken whines that your boyfriend always made as he got closer to his release.
“Jongho get over here” Hongjoong hoarsely demanded pointing to the spot in front of you “Stick your cock in her mouth to keep her quiet”. Jongho froze, turning his gaze to Wooyoung who had tipped his head back with pleasure and didn’t even seem to register his hyung’s voice then to you. You opened your mouth letting your tongue loll out giving him all the permission he needed to kneel in front of you on the bed and begin rubbing his heavy member on your tongue slowly fucking into your throat while you gasped.
“I’m gonna… Shit” Wooyoung yelped urgently, his voice trembling as he tried to control himself.
“Better get over here to paint your pretty girlfriend” Hongjoong rasped his hips snapped harder chasing his own need as you began almost vibrating around him your muscles taught as your own orgasm neared between Hongjoong and the vibrator in your cunt you could stop the tight coil from snapping suddenly a long muffled moan erupting from your throat around Jongho’s cock making a broken mewl fall from his lips as thick ropes of cum shot into your throat gagging you swallowed everything you could as your vision went white you eyes rolling back. Hongjoong deep depraved hiss all you could focus on as his hips stuttered and you felt his hot seed fill you and your boyfriends splatter your breasts.
“Fuck” Jongho panted swallowing hard “That was unexpected”.
“That was intense” Wooyoung sighed, his breath coming out in deep gasps “Fuck I love you baby”.
“You did so wonderful for me” Hongjoong whispered to you slowly removing the vibrator and himself from your fucked out body. You blinked at him slowly, too shattered to speak, the corners of your lips turning up. “Let me get you something to clean you up with and take care of you huh?”.
a/n: Thank you for reading lovelies I adore you all and I am so grateful for your likes, reblogs, comments and support you are amazing and I love you endlessly xx
Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz @armystay89 @damnyouficc @roamingpolar
@tara-skyhold @bakedlilgoonie @krishastumblernow @mrsseals16 @fawnpeaks
@leeknowinggg @tanzen-ist-gold @taz-97 @ocean-dreamer-sky-chaser @everythingboutkpop @tunafishyfishylike
@londonbridges01 @bkimrose @pancake-freckle @pansexual-and-eating-pancakes
@skersey33 @jintastic-yuyu @hwxbibi @onmykneesforateez @skittyneos
#wooyoung x reader#hongjoong x reader#jongho x reader#wooyoung hard thoughts#hongjoong hard thoughts#jongho hard thoughts#wooyoung x hard hours#hongjoong hard hours#jongho hard hours#wooyoung smut#wooyoung fanfic#hongjoong smut#hongjoong fanfic#jongho smut#jongho fanfic#ateez smut#ateez hard thoughts#ateez hard hours#ateez fanfic#i want to watch#wooyoung scenarios#hongjoong scenarios#jongho scenarios
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Loser!Ellie HCs | part II
content warning:: fem!reader, modern!AU
AN:: I love Ellie.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who has a shitposting insta account that surprisingly blew up. She just writes dumb shit in create mode, posts it and gets literally thousands of likes.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who forces herself to listen to music she doesn’t even like but it matches her aesthetic/makes her look cool. Radiohead is her number 1 listened band but the only song she can name is Creep.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who has to watch a youtube video to fall asleep. Loves all kinds of video essays but her favs are probably icebergs, probably the more disturbing the better.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who surprised you with a date to a shooting range one time and was the best out of all the people there, somehow. She’s so american <3
⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who owns only a single pair of actual pajamas and they’re christmas themed- got them from Joel too. Usually she just wears a random shirt and boxers, but she’ll be more than happy to whip out those bright red&green pjs in the middle of the summer.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ You know those happy but sad hope core tik toks? loser!Ellie watches them every time she sees them and sobs quietly because she’s embarrassed about crying over some tik toks.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who uses lip smackers. It’s like having a little snack without actually having a little snack.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who has a ‘honk if you like tits’ bumper sticker but gets angry whenever people honk at her (she forgets she even has it)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who goes on chat gpt whenever she’s bored and just asks stupid questions or gaslights the AI.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who would love to play games like Fortnite and Valorant but she’s too anxious that people would judge her skill.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who posts thirst traps on tik tok. I don’t care what you think, I know it’s true.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who wears those belts with funky buckles. Loves when they make an indent in your skin after cuddling.
it’s pretty short but I hope you enjoyed it <3
#the last of us#ellie williams x reader#lesbian#wlw#ellie williams headcannons#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x you#ellie williams#ellie williams fluff
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𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞 –
𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 –
amazed, attractive, bold, brave, bubbly, cheerful, comfortable, delightful, excited, festive, free, jolly, optimistic, proud, wonderful.
𝐍𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 –
aggravated, awful, chilly, dejected, dirty, dreadful, heavy, irritated, pessimistic, tearful, tense, terrible, tired, ugly, weak.
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭-𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 –
anxious, awestruck, bashful, cautious, composed, easygoing, horrified, intelligent,quizzical, ravenous, reluctant, settled, shy.
𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 –
appreciative, blissful, contented, ecstatic, elated, glad, happy, joyful, jubilant, merry, respectful, sweet, serene, upbeat, vivacious.
𝐍𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 –
angry, disenchanted, distressed, glum, gloomy, grumpy, grouchy, miserable, mad, moody, nervous, sad, sadistic, selfish, sour.
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭-𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 –
accepting, calm, confident, cool, earnest, easy, evenhanded, indifferent, neutral, nostalgic, passive, reserved, satisfied, sentimental, surprised.
𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 –
agreeable, animated, bright, clever, encouraging, fresh, gentle, hopeful, kind, loving, open, pleased, supportive, sympathetic, warm.
𝐍𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 –
annoyed, bitter, disgruntled, disgusted, evil, guilty, hostile, hurtful, nasty, obnoxious, oppressive, overbearing, resentful, sarcastic, sardonic.
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭-𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 –
acerbic, ambivalent, ardent, candid, cautionary, conciliatory, knowledgeable, mysterious, pragmatic, regretful, resigned, satirical, secretive, solemn, strong.
#editorials#writing tips#writing#tips#fiction writing#fanfiction writing#words#emotions#tone#feelings
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Dear dream girl, I really want to be my dream girl but I don’t know where to start. I feel unmotivated most of the time and I only get a burst of motivation at like 3 am. I just what to glow and radiate good energy for myself and find/do what I like
Oh, So You Wanna Be a Dream Girl? 🎀
starting your dream girl journey
Congrats on choosing yourself and your tiara; I am so proud. Prepare to not be liked, to be judged, and to stand out. It’s lonely at the top.
*this guide is for starting the process, not reaching the end result because my version of my own dream girl is inevitably different than yours. bare in mind i’m not holding your hand. i’m nudging you in a good direction.
what is a dream girl?
a dream girl is a girl that has finally fallen in love with who she sees in the mirror. she’s the girl that she can depend on. she has her desired look and she’s on the path to self actualization actively. she’s aware of her branding. she holds herself to the standards she holds other to; and they are HIGH. her self worth isn’t contingent upon a love interest, amount of money, or social status. she’s simply that girl.
do some healing.
yes, i said it. healing. like i’ve said before, you cannot put glitter on literal garbage. that’s not even the slightest bit appealing. you’re gonna journal about your childhood, your biggest influences in life, your biggest fears and how you feel life has treated you. this calls for shadow work. shadow working really helped me figure out some of my toxic traits and how some of the things that were considered normal to me as a child have affected me in the long run. you’re also gonna write hypothetical letters to your loved (and not-so-loved) ones, including yourself. let it all out. say everything you want that person to know. around you or not, dead or alive. prepare to clam up, cry, get angry, feel anxious. good. you should. you feel clammy, hot and sometimes pain when your body is fighting off and healing from a physical sickness. now you’re dealing with the developmental, mental, and emotional parts. you’re doing yourself a disservice choosing to stay the same toxic, nasty, mean, or victimized person you’ve always been.
what do you want?
before you can start to even do the smallest improvements, you have to have a clear goal. or else you’ll just be running around in circles (heh) over grandiose blurry wishful thinking. ultimately resulting in you giving up and choosing to be basic bc it’s easier. what do you want out of life? how do you want to be treated? what do you want to do? what makes you happy? and most importantly, how do you want to feel? see, it’s more than just the frills and glitter. you have to know what you’re trying to get to, internally and externally.
grab a diary, adorn it with pretty little details and commit to it. pair it with your fav writing utensil. outline all of your goals. every single last one of them. you can categorize them, scale them from short to long term, easy to hard. it doesn’t matter. do absolutely what you want to do to make a concrete record of your goals that’s digestible for you.
what are you going to do?
*fabulosity by kimora lee simmons*
compare your dream reality to the one you’re currently experiencing. what is she doing that you aren’t? that’s it. do that. anyone can read blogs about the process and other people success stories but those posts aren’t gonna change your life unless you get up and go for what you want. i don’t know what exactly you desire out of life. you do. so you have the instructions for this journey. the first part was easy, this is simple but not nearly as effortless. it’s up to you and not anyone else. you teach others how to treat you. improvements you can make include better: hygiene, self talk/treatment, outward energy, work ethic, discipline, health, consumed content, relationships, looks, habits.
the work
it’s time to apply yourself. get up everyday and actively work towards your goal. be kind to yourself. take yourself to the doctors. get active. eat right. find your passion. DO THE HEALING.
everyone’s journey is SO different so i’m just going to do a quick rundown of the importance of each of the ten facets of your dream girl journey (that build upon each other. ie; looks do not benefit you when your hygiene is insufficient):
*these facets are loosely based on maslow’s hierarchy of needs
health - are you taking care of yourself? please treat yourself how you would your loved ones. you’ll be surprised how physical issues manifest mentally, and vice versa. get adequate sleep. take baby steps if need be. some of these adjustments may be huge to you. be gracious with your journey.
consumed content - everything you engage in is your diet. the company you keep, food you eat, music you enjoy. you get the idea. do you feel light and ready to take on the day? or do you feel drained and sick more often than not. make some adjustments wherever you see necessary.
hygiene - extremely important. stick to a routine for your hygienic needs. you should have rituals you engage in everyday. don’t forget that your health and hygiene go hand in hand. oral and feminine hygiene is so crazily important. please don’t neglect yourself. i talk about my routines in detail here.
habits - daily habits are so crucial to your lifestyle. adjust these and consciously break your bad habits by supplementing your life with equal and opposite habits.
self talk/treatment - simple. be kind to yourself. hold yourself accountable for flaws and mistakes while loving yourself enough to be patient with the journey of improving.
outward energy - be very aware of the vibes you’re permeating. again this is so a huge determination of how you will be treated and how you will live your life.
work ethic/discipline - it’s gonna take serious accountability to escape the desire to stay comfortable. you have to tell yourself that you deserve *your desired end result* so you will *make specific change/adjustment.* it’s that simple (again simple doesn’t mean easy).
relationships - if you don’t like the way you’re treated by those in your life, those relationships need to be reevaluated. you can make some trims on your circle, have some honest conversations, or adjust your behaviors (because sometimes, YOU are the problem).
passion and career - in order to feel fulfilled in life, we all need a purpose. discover yours. incorporate your passion into your daily life.
looks - develop your signature and hone in on it. looks are very important to your perception (self and public). check out this guide to help with this part. however you wanna feel is how you should display yourself.
be a dream girl!
you’ve discovered all the facets of creating your dream self and reality. now it’s time to apply what you’ve learned. start showing up in life in the fashion you want to be seen in.
that’s it! the rest is up to you!
- xoxo, dreamgrlarchive 🎀
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Think I’m about done with tumblr. I don’t know how many aesthetic posts I have queued, so you might see more, but honestly, the thought of being on here makes me anxious and the amount of hours I have spent arguing in my head with people I blocked for being Just So Wrong have made it untenable. It’s interesting, because if I were an influencer—if that was how I aimed to make money—this is when the increased engagement with my content would start to feel like I’d accomplished something. But I’m not an influencer, and this takes mental energy away from things that make me happy instead of angry and sad.
I can live without an audience. Social media will continue to chug along without me, offering some people important things while also amplifying fear and isolation. I’ve found that I can keep myself from opening the app now that I’ve gotten out of the habit, and I’m not acquiring any new fun bullshit from people who are—forgive me—largely a lot younger than me, and whose perspectives are often not valuable given just what wildly different points in life we’re at. I don’t have so much free time that I can afford to spend any of it on Internet randos who want to take out their fear and pain on others or consolidate their sense of self by hostility towards outgroup members. Tumblr makes it very difficult to limit interaction—intentionally, I assume—and this also limits usability for people with larger followings.
I appreciate the friends I made along the way but the way this app works, the flood of dumbass notifications drowns you out, so I’m calling it. I had fun for the last 12 years. I’m done, though.
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Hi! May I request Ultra Magnus (tfp) having to watch Jack, Miko and Raf for a day, being forced to play a board game and to the surprise of everyone getting very invested in it?
☆彡彡 ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ ミミ☆
Hi !! I'd be more than happy to provide you with some content! AS MUCH AS I DISLIKE THIS BOT (joke, kinda, he's just old..) I think he's interesting to work with. So, here we go ! I apologize if this isn't perfect, it's my first time posting something I've wrote before. It'll be a small fic, let me know what you think of it !
¹ ❥ ☆ Mini Fic
² ♰ Transformers Prime
³ ˋˋ SFW ☆
Just one game !
“ Here is her guitar, her hairbrush, drawing book and all her drawing stuff. ”
Bulkhead pointed out each element as he spoke, making sure of Ultra Magnus following his exact directions. The ex-leader looked at the Wrecker confused, raising an eyebrow. He seemed to be wondering what could go so wrong with such tiny humans, and why the big bot felt so anxious at the idea of leaving Miko behind. He thought he was certainly being overdramatic.
“ that should be everything.. I need to go, they're gonna wait for me. ”
Bulkhead simply added before quickly waving Miko goodbye, transforming and entering the groundbridge, as Bumblebee and Arcee were already far ahead.
The bridge closed, and finally it was only him and the humans. He still wondered what so bad could happen for the three guardians to be worried. He looked over at them, sat on the couch, playing video games. They were relatively calm and still. The older bot thought now would be a great time to start working on some of his unfinished projects. The base was calm, the kids were entertained.
For now.
A loud, strident yelp came out from behind him. Startled, he looked over at the kids, instantly worried someone broke in. But no, it was just the Japanese girl, shouting at her friends because she lost the game. The commandant rolled his eyes, visibly annoyed.
“ Will you tone it down ? ”
He firmly asked, though it sounded more like an order. The young girl looked at him desperately, groaning.
“ THEY'RE CHEAATIIIIIING. I keep loosing, it's unfair. ”
“ In that case, you should switch games. ”
He stated, as if it was an evidence for him to move on from something that gets on your nerves. The girl stared at the bot, as if he said an absurdity, before she exclaimed.
“ YOU'RE A GENIUS !! let's play.. A board game!! What do you guys think ? ”
Jack shrugged and crossed his arms, apparently okay with the idea. The younger of them all jumped off of the couch, excited by Miko's proposal.
“ awesome idea ! Though, we miss a player. ”
Raf stated, his hands now on his chin, thinking.
It didn't take long for Jack to point at Ultra Magnus.
“ hey! Wanna join ? We'll teach you! ”
The leader looked perplex, not convinced at the idea of joining this “activity”. He stared for a moment, considering. It could be fun, after all, and give him a break from all the stress of battles.
“Very well. But only one game, I have to stay alert in case anything happens.”
The older boy nodded and signed him to get closer, which he did. The three humans started explaining to the bot the rules, to which he was surprisingly getting very interested in. They then got to the first game. Raf won, and, angry at himself, Ultra Magnus asked him some tips to get better.
“ how about we do a second round, then? ”
He proposed, to the happy surprise of the kids, that appeared to be pleased by the idea of the leader.
And then, they went on for hours.
The guardians came back several hours later, and, curious of the laughs and giggles they were hearing, snuck up on them.
They could not believe it. He was having a moment of genuine fun with the kids, that they all seemed to enjoy in it's fullest.
The three bots sighed in unison, relieved to see how well it went.
“Alright kids, it is getting late. Time for rest.”
The older bot announced, as he noticed the humans yawning. Without any signs of resistance, they hopped in his servos as he started walking to their room. He noticed Bumblebee, Arcee and Bulkhead here, to which he simply nodded without stopping. Once he made sure they were safe, he softly smiled.
“ I assume it went well..? ”
Arcee questioned, to which Ultra Magnus simply hummed.
“ we had a great time.”
He assured, a satisfied grin on his face.
. . . Written by Noah . . .ᐟ ☆
#ultra magnus#maccadam#transformers headcanons#transformers#tfp#transformers prime#tfp ultra magnus#miko nakadai#jack darby#raf tfp#miko tfp#j#mini fic#urlocalboynoah
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Perfectly Wrong
christopher sturniolo x reader
content/warning(s): angst, toxic relationship, verbal abuse.
summary: you and chris realize that your relationship is rather toxic and that the two of you are perfectly wrong for each other but no longer working as a couple no matter how hard you try to work. you make the final, hard, decision on whether to stay or go.
taste the poison from your lips,
lately we're as good as gone.
you shifted nervously on the stool that you were seated on as you watched your boyfriend, chris, closely. the two of you had hardly interacted all day. you were feeling incredibly touch deprived; it had been a day or two since chris last kissed you.
he got into these moods sometimes where he didn't even want to look at you and it crushed you but you always stayed because you knew the him you fell in love with would come back, and to be fair, you got in your moods too. sometimes you would snap at chris because you got too overwhelmed and sometimes you would start arguments just because it was a defense mechanism.
you grew up with parents who constantly argued and used you as their mediator so you were almost always apart of the argument. to you, arguing meant that you loved the person.
you shifted again, wanting to touch him, your body begged to be held by him and you knew that because you felt a painful ache throughout the entirety of you.
chris was making dinner for everyone so you felt guilty about wanting him all to yourself, but you couldn't help it. he was yours and you were his and you just wanted some time to have him to yourself.
after a mental battle with yourself, you slowly stood up from the stool and looked at your feet as you shuffled towards your boyfriend, "chris..?" you whispered. his back was turned to you but you still looked at him with doe eyes, so afraid that he was going to yell at you. you felt your body begin to shake with anxiety and you tried to calm it but you couldn't.
chris sighed loudly before placing the utensils in his hands down on the countertop. he turned around and looked down at you with an annoyed expression on his face, "what." he stated harshly. you looked back down at your feet as your fingers fidgeted with each other shakily.
"i just miss you... can i have a kiss?" you asked quietly, afraid that if you spoke to loudly he would snap.
chris rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated chuckle, "is that seriously what you're bothering me for?" he asked, his tone sounded angry. he pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes tightly, almost as if he was suffering from a terrible headache that wouldn't go away.
you caved into yourself, still looking at the ground. you just needed one kiss, one hug, one touch, and you would be happy. why couldn't he just give you that?
"chris... please, baby," you pleaded. he shook his head before turning his body away from you and back towards the food that was cooking on the stove. you looked up when you no longer felt his sharp gaze and felt tears tug at your waterline.
"fine." you mumbled while taking a few steps backwards, "fuck you, asshole." you whispered to yourself before turning away and walking to you and chris' shared room.
the moment you shut the bedroom door the tears began to fall. a thunderstorm roared in your mind as your eyes poured rain. you slid down the door and brought your knees tightly into your chest trying to hold yourself together so you didn't break. your body heaved roughly as sobs escaped your soft, parted lips.
crack.
'fuck, chris. one kiss. i just wanted one kiss... or even a hug... you could've just brushed my hair out of my face and kissed the top of my head and that would've been enough.' thunder cracked repeatedly and the absence of lightning made you incredibly anxious.
crack.
'i can't do this anymore... i can't. fuck but i love him so much. damnit.' the thunder echoed through your mind again.
you couldn't do it anymore. you wanted to be able to so badly and you knew that you would continue to fight for your relationship no matter how badly you wanted to quit, you just didn't know how much longer you'd be able to before your body physically gave up on yourself and chris.
-
you know how much it hurts
every time you say you hate me.
"fucking god damnit, chris!" your voice boomed throughout the house. you could see chris flinch at the loudness of your voice but you were too blinded by anger to acknowledge it. you picked fights pretty often and he always hates it when you do. chris knows you can't help it but he doesn't know how much more he can take.
"you're always screwing around! are you fucking stupid?! like i'm genuinely asking, chris, because i don't know anymore." you shouted, walking closer to him so you were directly in his face. he moved his face away from yours for a moment before looking directly into your eyes, his own completely barren of emotion, almost as if a switch had gone off in his head, like he had turned his emotions off.
"yeah, hah. yeah i am 'fucking stupid'. can't believe it took you this long to notice." he said blankly, looking directly into your eyes. your eyebrows furrowed and your nose scrunched with anger.
"fuck you. you think you're so fucking funny with the sarcasm." you scoffed. he shrugged and moved his eyes away from yours, now looking behind you, seemingly uninterested in the conversation at hand. you threw your hands up in defeat, "i can't stand you. god i fucking hate you." you growled before walking to the front door. you stopped for a moment and looked back at the boy that you forgot you loved in this moment. you could see that the emotion had returned to his eyes and face, you could see the tears pooling in his eyes and the shake of his gentle hands. that was the last thing on your mind right now though.
"don't text me, don't call me, don't reach out and don't have your brothers reach out for you," you paused and took a deep breath before continuing.
"i just can't even look at you right now or i'll explode. i'll be back in a couple days." you finished your sentence and grabbed the door handle, turning it and pulling the door open. chris watched as you shut the door behind you and disappeared. he didn't want you to go, he wanted to fix this and talk to you but you were in one of your moods. his heart panged in his chest as he heard your car start. you were seriously leaving. you had gotten into heated arguments before where nick and/or matt had to intervene, but you had never actually left and he was horrified that you did.
crack.
'what if she doesn't come back... oh god please come back. i need you, ma... please don't do this to me. not now.' his mind boomed as a thunderstorm erupted throughout every corner of his brain. he couldn't stop the thoughts that kept coming at him like a freight train.
after thirty minutes of standing in the same exact spot, unmoving (aside from the body tremors he was experiencing due to overwhelming emotion), waiting for you to come back as tears fell aggressively from his eyes, he turned and walked to your shared room. he was too tired to keep waiting and he wasn't a damn dog, he had no clue why he was acting like one.
he grabbed one of your hoodies from your side of the closet and hugged it tightly against his chest before curling up on your side of the bed. he was too shaky to get under the covers so he just laid on top of the comforter and fell asleep, breathing in your scent which lingered on the hoodie he grabbed.
-
there's no use,
we were made to break.
after a couple months of smooth sailing in your relationship, chris fell into one of his moods again. it was an endless cycle and for some fucking reason the two of you couldn't break it. you knew that you both needed some hardcore therapy, but you guys were too stubborn to admit it and take action. you didn't want to be so vulnerable around a stranger the way you'd need to be during therapy and chris didn't want to come across as weak for attending therapy.
you looked at the tv as you quickly clicked through various tv shows and movies, trying to find something that would catch your attention. chris sat a couple inches away from you and rubbed his eyes, the bright screen shining in the dark room began to elicit a headache, "can you fucking pick something?" he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before looking over at you.
you nodded quickly and put on a random show, "yeah... sorry." you said quietly as the show began to play in the background. chris rolled his eyes so hard you thought they might fall out of his head. he looked back at the tv and his face twisted in annoyance, "the fuck is this shit." he scoffed. you wanted to shrink into yourself, wanted the couch to swallow you whole and allow someone else to deal with his shitty attitude but you knew that wouldn't happen and you couldn't take it anymore. you were about to crack.
"hello? like you put on a stupid ass show and then don't answer?" he said, his tone sharper than a knife. you closed your eyes tightly trying to fight the anger and annoyance and sadness surging through your body. you knew it was time but you were so scared and felt your heart breaking.
"damnit, chris." you mumbled before standing up and throwing your hands up, "i can't do this anymore. i seriously can't." you stated, looking directly into his beautiful blue eyes, the same eyes that made you want to melt away into him, yet this time you just wanted to look away.
"huh? the fuck do you mean, ma?" he asked, his expression softening but his tone still frustrated. you chuckled out of disbelief, "i mean i cannot physically do this with you anymore. we are slowly fucking killing each other and i am not ready to die." you said, hoping he would understand your poetic language. you felt all of the air leave your lungs and you felt dread cast a shadow over your body as tears began to form in your eyes.
chris' heart dropped as did his face. he shook his head, praying that this was a dream and that you didn't actually mean it. he loved you so incredibly much and wasn't ready to loose you, no matter how right you were about the situation you had put yourselves in. all he could think about was the night you became his girl, the night he kissed you under the moon and the stars, the night the two of you promised to never hurt the other. he now knew that he broke his promise and that you broke yours.
"baby..." he said, his voice breaking slightly. he hardly ever called you 'baby', it was usually 'ma' or 'babe' so this had taken you aback a bit, but you shook your head to rid the thoughts of staying from your mind. you needed to leave and you knew that now, no matter how much it was going to hurt you, hurt him, hurt his brothers. oh god it was going to crush his brothers. you were all so close, they were your found family and you had no choice but to let that go. it was the four of you against the world since the day you met them. you had their backs regardless of the circumstances and they had yours.
"please don't do this." chris spoke as loudly as he physically could but his voice didn't get past a whisper due to how badly his throat ached. your throat ached too. you were fighting for your life against the tears, the sobs, the wails that wanted to escape so badly. you walked over to him and sat down, your knee resting against his thigh gently.
you looked at him so painfully yet so carefully and gently as you thought about what you were about to do, "you know i love you... and i think i always will," you said gently, "and i love your brothers so much... you guys are my family.." you took in a shaky breath as tears began to fall.
you placed a hand against chris' cheek carefully the moment you saw the first tear fall from his own eyes, "but we aren't good for each other... and i don't want to hurt you anymore. i can't take you hurting me anymore." you whispered, the words felt like poison leaving your lips.
chris leaned into your touch as you rubbed your thumb against his cheek, a stream of unbreaking tears falling from his beautiful eyes. his heart was breaking inside of his chest as was yours. it felt like someone was stabbing you in the chest in the exact same spot over and over again, "i love you, my moon... we love you, me, matt, and nick.." his voice broke as a sob fell from his lips.
you kissed the top of his head before standing up again, still looking at him even though he was looking at his lap, "you're perfectly wrong for me and i'm perfectly wrong for you.. i truly wanted to fight for us for the rest of my life, but i can't... not now at least. not until we've healed." you started, "i promise i love you and i always will, but i have to go. i have to find myself and i have to give you space to find yourself." you continued, "you have to allow yourself to be found... allow yourself to heal, love." your tone was gentle and kind, it was hard to keep it that way when all you wanted to do was break down in chris' arms.
chris continued to just look at his lap, his grey sweatpants now stained with tears, nodding ever-so-slightly at your words.
"don't forget about me.. maybe down the line we can try again, when we're both ready. i wish we were ready now but we just aren't." you stopped the sentence abruptly, realizing the part you had been dreading the most, the part you had nightmares about, was here.
your feet shuffled and you grabbed your keys off of the coffee table, finally looking away from chris. you just couldn't look at him during this part. you felt his eyes burning into you, he finally looked at you the moment you looked away.
"i love you, chris. i'll see you again someday, stay strong for me tough guy..." you turned and began to walk towards the front door, "i love you, y/n... stay strong for me too, beautiful." he whispered quietly but just loud enough for you to hear. you smiled to yourself as more tears fell from your orbs. it was a sad smile, a grieving smile. you lost something today, something that had the potential to be beautiful, something that has the potential to be beautiful, but it's not ready to be beautiful yet.
you walked out of the front door and that was it. you locked it behind you. for a moment you held the house key in your hand, rubbing your thumb against the valleys of the key, reminiscing on the day you got it. after a couple minutes you placed the house key that the boys had made for you under the door matt.
you shot the group chat that the four of you had made years ago a quick text, letting them know that the key was under the matt before leaving the group chat and getting into your car.
you put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway for the last time, well, for the last time as this version of yourself. who knows what the future will throw your way. you had your car idly sitting in the middle of the empty road for a moment as you looked at the house that you had made so many memories in. you allowed yourself to take it all in one last time because you didn't know if you'd get the chance to again.
you were sobbing harder now that you were alone. you had a habit of keeping everything in until you were alone because of how vulnerable it made you feel and you really didn't like being vulnerable around people. it was odd though, you always felt okay with being vulnerable around the boys... that is up until this point.
after about five minutes, you put the car in drive and drove off. your phone was buzzing with notifications from matt and nick but you ignored them, putting your phone on 'do not disturb'. you didn't know where you were going or what your plan was, but you knew you'd figure it out. you always did.
all the stars in the sky could see
why you're perfectly wrong for me.
wow okay two in one day!! wahoo! hopefully this makes up for my absence! i'm going on a ten day cruise soon and there won't be any wifi so you will be starved of content for a little while im sorry!!
this one is a sadder one please dont hate me, im a sucker for angst and this idea was just tugging at my brain cells, i cant help it... I LOVE U GUYS SM!! ;(
- ace <3
taglist: @whoisabbyysblog @mattyblover07 @b2cute @samandcolbyfan22 @h3arts4harry @nickgetsmewetter
#sturniolo triplets#spotify#allaboutsturns#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo angst#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x reader#Spotify
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