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haruchuiyo · 6 months ago

Text

struck with love

the duke and you. will the relationship blossom into something more than just a friendship?

content: SUGGESTIVE! + regency au + duke!blade + duke’s daughter!reader (you’re not blades daughter!) + fem!reader + blade gets called yingxing + pining + second chance + heartbreak + groveling + make out + loads of kisses + fluff + jing yuan and the princess cameo (same characters from my jing yuan fic) + happy ending!!

word count: 11k (I got to into it but it’s a fast fast read I promise!)

hope you enjoy ><

—

The Duke of Stellaron.

This is the first time you’ve seen the man in the flesh aside from hearing about him. He was walking up from behind Prince Jing Yuan. He bows to the princess beside you before addressing Jing Yuan before he stands beside him, you give him a curt bow with a gentle smile.

“Your Grace.” You address him as he bows curtly back at you. Then you see how he looks between you and the princess. The princess immediately figured what was going on.

“Your Grace, this is my most beloved friend. The daughter of the Duke of Navalia.”

“My lady.” You can’t help the lingering look you give him. He’s a handsome man, quite stoic and almost devoid of any emotions except from the polite look on his face. As he chats to Jing Yuan, you see how he glances back at you and your eyes slightly widens when yours meet his crimson eyes before hastily looking away.

“So, Your Highness. How does it feel to have been crowned as a prince?” You throw the question at Jing Yuan who started to look bashful. You grin as you hear the princess, who’s also his wife, giggle beside you. As you grinned, you failed to notice a pair of crimson eyes laying their sight upon how your big smile lightens up your face, thinking how beautiful you are.

“It certainly feels weird.” Jing Yuan says and you hear the princess dramatically gasp from beside you. “That’s not what you said yesterday, my love. I thought you were ecstatic.” She lightly pouts and Jing Yuan immediately grasps onto her hand.

“Of course I’m ecstatic my heart, but I can’t deny it feels weird to be addressed as ‘Your Highness’ than the title of my military rank.” His voice was gentle and the way he kissed his wife’s knuckles softly, has you envy their relationship. Their love was truly so fated. As you glance away from their interaction, you look at the Duke who was quiet the entire time.

“How’s you stay here in Xianzhou, Your Grace?” You ask, feeling shy when you see him look at you. He gives a light nod.

“Quite different from the almost quiet life in Stellaron.” He responds, his reply making you giggle. You nod your head. “Xianzhou is quite-“ you pause as you think of a word.

“Lively.” You hear the Duke's deep voice. You look at him and nod in agreement. “Quite indeed.” You smile at him, finding him quite lively as well.

“Have you been to Stellaron, my lady?” You don’t know why you felt surprised he asked you a question about yourself, but you did. But you found yourself quite liking it.

“I have actually. Though I suppose you weren’t there.” You ponder on if you actually met him the time you visited Stellaron. “I’m sure I’d remember you if I was there.” He lightly chuckles.

“I feel flattered, Your Grace.” You grin at him and you missed how his eyes widened when you flashed him your big smile. Looking away from him, you see how the princess and prince started walking away, arms locked in together, chatting amongst themselves.

“It seems our pair of monarchs have left us.” You playfully sigh before holding onto a little bit of your dress to rise the gown up a bit, missing the way the duke’s eyes lowered themselves to glance at your legs.

“Let’s hurry shall we?” You ask the Duke as he looks at you for a moment before nodding his head.

—

After that day of your first meeting with the Duke of Stellaron, you found yourself enjoying his stoic presence. But he isn’t as stoic as you thought he’d be, he’s very lively in his own way. Randomly saying some sassy remarks which has you gasping and lightly swatting his arm, his arm he so offered for you to hold onto. Or if you didn’t know well enough, you’d miss how he is actually pulling jokes when he sounds so serious.

“Yingxing!” You waved at him as you lightly skipped away from the princess to him.

“My Lady.” He greets you with a smile you’d grown to love. “Ugh, not again! I told you to call me by my name.” You pout. You hear him lightly chuckle as you see him offer his arm to you. And then you hear him call you by your name, which makes a smile appear on your face, joy so evident.

Gratefully, you place your hand on his arm and you two start walking away from Jing Yuan and the princess, unbeknownst to you two, missing the way they look at you two with a knowing look on their faces.

“So tell me, why are you called Blade?” You ask. “I sometimes hear Jing Yuan calling you that, but never had the opportunity to ask why.” You explain to him and Blade sighs. You look at him confused.

“It’s a nickname I received during the military training, which I was so unfortunate to have at the same time as Jing Yuan.” He says and you giggle.

“Did you perhaps do something cool?” You grin at him and he lets out a breathy laugh.

“According to Jing Yuan and the others, me hitting bullseye ten times in a row with blades, was very cool.” He tells you and you gasp.

“Bullseye ten times in a row? Yingxing, that’s extremely amazing!” You squeeze his arms and he chuckles. “Well, if you say so. Then perhaps it is.”

“I’m sure you did many more amazing stuff with blades.” You tell him and he nods. “I did actually. I was quite proficient in using blades.” He remarks. “And swords as well.” He adds on and you giggle.

“I’m smelling some foul stench of flaunting here.” You tease him and he grins at you, which makes your heart flutter. He looks so much more beautiful like this than the stoic demeanour he always puts on. You look one last time at his pretty smile before looking away, pointing at some nearby big bird flying by, trying to ignore this butterfly mess feeling in your body.

—

The Princess was hosting a ball to welcome the new season. And here you were standing amongst the punch drinks, deciding wether you should pick the raspberry flavour or the watermelon one. Though the way the watermelon punch drinks was decorated is quite cute with the small bites of the fruit sitting atop the rim of the glass.

“I see you’re having a difficult time.” You hear a familiar voice which instantly makes your heartbeat go faster and the fluttery mess in your body go off again. You turn to look at him and as soon as you do, a lovely smile appears on Blade’s face as he softly says ‘hi’ and calls you by your name in that soft deep voice of his.

“Hi, Yingxing.” You say shyly, thinking of the way he greeted you.

“I’d recommend the watermelon one, it’s quite delicious.” At his words, you turn surprised then a quiet laugh bursts out from you. “Then I shall pick that one.” You tell him as you grab onto the watermelon punch glass.

“When you’re done drinking, may I have a dance with you?” You hear him ask and you felt streams of joy spread inside your body. This is gonna be your first dance with the man you’ve had the opportunity to get to know better over the past few weeks.

“You may.” You gracefully accept his invitation.

As you chat amongst yourselves, sipping on the last bit of your punch, you place the empty glass on a passing waiter's metal board. And as you do that, you hear the musicians change the music. You look at Blade, who then looks at you with his hand reached out.

He takes you to the dance floor. As you stand in front of him, you place your left hand on his shoulder and the other one holding his left hand. Then you feel his right hand on your back and you can’t help the slight shiver that comes up in your body. It doesn’t help the fact your gown is kind of backless and you feel his bare hand on the place between your neck and upper back.

You glance up at him then he leads you, moving to the steps of how waltz go. Left foot back, right foot to the side and step forward. The dance suddenly making you nervous by the close proximity, you almost squeeze your hold on his shoulder. You breathe deeply as you look at his chest instead of him, if you did that, he’d definitely be able to hear your quick heartbeats.

“Look at me.” You hear him softly whisper and you do. You do as he say and when you look at him, you wish you didn’t.

How dare he be so beautiful? How dare he look at you with those beautiful crimson eyes? The audacity he has to be so beautiful in anything he does, even in the way he is leading the dance.

“You okay?” He hear him ask and you smile. “Yes, I was just thinking about how we should do two more dances.” You say, lying through your teeth, feeling like you’d rather do this than tell him of your actual thoughts.

“Two more dances?” He asks, almost bewildered. “Yes, or perhaps, three more if you’d like it to be.” You grin at him as he sighs.

“My lady.” He says with almost a stern voice as he tilts his head.

“Your Grace.” You mimicked the way he said but a little more mischievously while also tilting your own head.

“Three it is.” He sighs out while smiling and you grin at him. “No chance to back out, Your Grace, it was you who invited me for a dance after all.” You lightly stick out your tongue to tease him.

He lets out a quiet laugh to hide the way he was looking at your mouth, how moist your lower lip seems to be after you stuck your tongue out at him. To hide the fact that if he leans in a bit closer, he could touch and taste you with his own mouth. He lightly shakes his head and leads you to the final part of the dance before the music changes.

The next two dances was more upbeat and lively, spinning and dancing with the other people in the ballroom before you went back to your original dance partner. As you do, the music changes, to a more intimate and slower tune and you suddenly felt nervous, feeling how your laugh from the previous dances dissipate when you see how Blade is wrapping his arms around your waist. And you know he didn’t fully place his hands on your body, but instead held his own hands and placed his intertwined hands on you.

His arms around your body does something to you. Streams of nervousness and also joy shoots up your body. You feel your hands tremble and almost sweat as you place them on his neck. You avoid looking at him now. Cause this time if you did, he would definitely hear how fast your heartbeat is.

You look at anywhere but his face, this time at his chest again, specifically the white shirt below his black suit jacket. You swear you could see his chest heave up and down quite harshly, his shirt straining against his body. Subconsciously, you slightly leaned your head forward and lightly breathed in his scent. He smells so good, like a man.

And then you still in your actions. Because you felt one of his hands press down on your lower back and lightly push you into him. Softly gasping, you look up at him to find him looking at you. You know that he saw what you’ve done by the way his eyes flickers all over your face before stopping to stare at your lips and you do the same. Your lips slightly part and you see how Blade subtly licks his mouth, his eyes turning almost hazy. You feel yourself almost squeezing his neck and him digging lightly onto your back with his hands.

When the music stops, it’s like you two got out of a trance and looked at each other with surprise evident on your faces. You hastily unclasp your hold on his neck, swearing you could see your handprint on his neck, but brushing it off as something your mind made up to scare you off. You back away from Blade, in turn making him lose his hold on your body, which you so dearly miss though you can sense a phantom lingering feel of his touch on your body.

“Your Grace.” You give a curt bow before walking away, not bothering to let him address you as well.

You walked hastily away, breathing heavily, you ignored your best friend, the princess, who called out for you in worry. You shake your head at her, brushing it off as some kind of problem with the heat and walked past her too before reaching a balcony far away from where the ball was hosted.

Reaching the thick marble fence of the balcony, you grip onto it as you breathe out heavily. You close your eyes as you soak in the summers night cold air then you think about how good Blade smelt, his hands on your body and the way he looked at you with such desire in his eyes. A strange feeling builds up in your abdomen and you try to fan yourself with your hand when you hear steps from behind you. Turning around, there’s the man who’s the object of your thoughts.

“Oh.” Is what you could say. You see Blade close the balcony doors before facing you.

“Care to tell me what that was about?” He asks, he didn’t sound gentle but almost frustrated.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” You blabber off more apologies then your eyes land on his neck and you do see a faint hint of your hand print there. And you immediately take a step towards him, reaching a hand out to touch his neck.

“My apologies, I shouldn’t have squeezed your neck, I left a mark. I’m so sorry.” Feeling panic build up inside you as you touch his neck, feeling his skin on your fingers tips, a larger hand wraps around your wrist and you feel a hand on your lower back, pulling you in to him again.

“Your Grace.” You softly mumble.

“Yingxing.” He says.

“Yingxing.” You repeat softly, tears welling up in your eyes. “I’m sorry.” You tell him again.

“You’re not at fault at here, I did something too.” His voice is soft as you feel him rub on your lower back. His hold on your wrist loosens as he goes to hold onto your face. You lean your face into his touch, nuzzling into his palm, ignoring the way his breath hitches.

“I don’t know what to make of what transpired between us.” You hear him say and you dryly chuckle. “Me neither, but in my case, it makes sense to me.”

“What do you mean by that?” His brow are raised and he clearly looks confused. You smile sadly at him. You place a hand over his palm that’s holding your face.

“I have feelings for you.” You confess softly. Blades eyes slightly widens in surprise, he didn’t expect to hear that at all.

“Feelings?” He repeats, speechless.

“I’m in love with you, Yingxing.” You blurt out, seeing how he’s still shocked and quiet at your confession. “I don’t know when it started, but it did someday. I catch myself thinking about you a lot, I want a lot more from you. I want to be with-“

“I’m gonna have to refuse.”

“—you.” you finish your sentence then you comprehended his words. “Refuse?” Your heart beats fast this time, but for other reasons. Blade’s hold on your face and back lowers themselves to beside his own body and he looks at you with that stoic look you saw the first time you met him.

“Why? What—“

“I’m not interested in you like that.” He sounds so mean. So mean. He can’t mean that. This is not the Yingxing you got to know. Tears well up in your eyes and you miss the way his hands form into tight fists by his side. Vision blurry, you wipe your eyes but the tears are streaming down still.

“A ‘no’ would’ve sufficed but you had to add the part with me in it.” You chuckle, not being able to believe his words. He sounds rude. You wipe off the remaining tears with a nod to your face and exhale deeply.

“I understand, Your Grace. I’m sorry to have taken up so much of your time. Have a lovely night.” You give him one last polite bow before leaving him alone in the balcony.

Blade stood there alone, staring off at the view in front of him. He’d usually say something about it. With you. But now it looks bleak and gloomy. His hands still in a fist, he feels agonised. But he was honest. Yes, he was honest about his feelings. He does not feel the same way as you. No. He totally does not want something more from you. No no. He does not see a future with you. He definitely doesn’t miss your touch on him. Yes. He was honest.

Very honest.

—

He was lounging on the porch with Jing Yuan. Trying to bask in the heat of the summer, he cannot do that. He hears your laugh, the way your eyes shape into cute moon crescents and the way your nose scrunches up as you throw your head back laughing. His body itches to move towards you but he can’t. He remembers the time he approached you, he was met with a demeanour of yours he did not like. You were so polite, extremely so. Like you two never had conversed before this or that the night in the balcony didn’t happen.

Blade taps his fingers in a fast pace against the armrest of the chair he’s sitting on. He hears Jing Yuan groan from beside him.

“Can you stop that already?” He asks exasperated. “No.” Blade shortly says as his eyes follow your every move, how you run after your best friend in some silly game.

“You know, you could join them if you want to.” He hears Jing Yuan say and he stops his tapping to look at him. “What?” He asks.

“You can join them if you want to, Yingxing.” Jing Yuan repeats what he said. But all he could think of is the way you used to call him ‘Yingxing’ as well but now it’s ‘Your Grace’.

He hates himself for that.

“There’s no need.” He looks away from his friend to look at you once more and begins his tapping once again. He hears Jing Yuan sigh.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s clearly not nothing by how my wife’s best friend, whose company you clearly enjoy, has been avoiding you like the plague.” Jing Yuan points out. Blade sighs. He can’t hide anything from his friend and his sharp eyes. He wasn’t a general for nothing.

“I rejected her.”

“What?” Jing Yuan almost jumped out of his seat. He looks bewildered at his friend. “You rejected her? I thought—“

“Enough. It is done and I cannot do anything about it now.” Blade cuts his friend off. Clearly knowing what he’s gonna say.

“You’re lying to yourself, Yingxing.” Jing Yuan starts. “There’s clearly ways to fix this.” He adds on.

“What ways? All I’m gonna do is hurt her again and again, and I don’t want that. Hurting her pains me.” Blade retorts with gritting teeth. “I felt agonised the day I refused her feelings. Seeing her cry, oh believe me, those blades my nickname is derived from, I wanted to hit a bullseye on myself more than ten times. It’s awful seeing her hurt. So no, I can’t do anything about this.” Now he’s gripping onto the armrest, feeling envious of the princess who gets to laugh freely with you. His heart aches.

“Yingxing, you’re in love with her, aren’t you?” Jing Yuan asks softly.

“It’s too late.” His voice wavered.

He sees Jing Yuan step up from his chair from his peripheral vision. Then feels his friend pat his shoulder.

“It’s never too late, my friend.”

—

Ever since the day you played a game of tag with your best friend the princess and saw her husband approach you two, leaving Blade alone. It’s like something switched in Blade’s brain.

He’s been there every time you needed help. Or anything of that sort. Small simplistic stuff like dropping your handkerchief, he’s there to pick it up and give you his instead of making you use your dirty handkerchief. But you refused that.

Or when you were going down the stairs and held up your dress but almost tripped, he was there to catch you. Though if you tripped, you’d land on grass not stone. You’d be fine.

So what’s wrong with him?

Just now, he’s ordering a dessert from the servant, your favorite, during an outing with the princess and the prince. You look at your best friend confused with your hands in a fist. She knows what happened, so all she does is shaking her head lightly while patting your fist softly. “It’s okay, just a dessert.” She had whispered.

It’s infuriating. It’s like he’s completely ignoring the wordless request of space you asked of him.

After a luncheon one day, you took a walk in the park with the princess.

“It’s hard to ignore him.” You sigh. The princess giggles. You look at her irritated. “I didn’t know my suffering was so fun to you, Your Highness.” You poke at her side making her giggle again.

“Oh it’s not like that, stop it!” She giggles still. “But why not give him a chance? He’s clearly trying to mend the pain he caused.” The princess softly said. You shake your head.

“There’s no point. He clearly said he is not interested in me. Me.” You point out. His words still hurt to this day. He had to add in the ‘you’.

“What if he has a reason. Did you ask him?” At her words, you quiet down. You shake your head lightly. “No I didn’t, but that doesn’t give him an excuse to hurt me like that.” You pout. You feel your best friend gently pat your cheek.

“He’s invited us over to Stellaron for a weekend, so maybe have a talk with him then, alright?” You sigh but nod anyway. Your best friend does have a point. Ignoring the man and acting like he’s nothing but just a Duke to you, won’t do any good. It’s just leaving the mess to slowly get bigger and bigger.

Switching to a different topic than just crying over a man who rejected you, you speak of something with the princess when you suddenly feel how the wind got so strong it blew your hat off your head, making it fly away. Your best friend gasps and you giggle as you run to retrieve it.

Then it dropped on the grassy ground near someone’s shoes and as you look up to see who it is, it’s Blade. The man who rejected you. Feeling your giggles and smile vanish, you see him pick up your hat for you.

“My lady.” He lightly bows his head. You nod yours. “Your Grace.” You gently say. You see him look at your hat before looking at you, then he hands it over. Taking it from him, you don’t miss the way your fingers brushed against each other and you held your breath before letting it out slightly when you put the hat on your head.

“Thank you. Have a nice day, Your Grace.” You give him a curt smile, feeling your heart ache as you walked away. Unbeknownst to you, the man who rejected your love for him, stared at your form longingly with an ache in his own heart. Little did you know, he saw your smile drop and your giggle vanish as soon as you saw him. He felt like his soul got crushed in pieces by a hammer and that same hammer crushed the pieces into more pieces.

To think he used to make you smile despite his stoic demeanour, the way a beautiful smile lightened up your lovely face and a beautiful laugh escape your pretty mouth. Just for it to turn polite like he was any other man of polite society.

He wasn’t honest after all.

—

Arriving at the Stellaron mansion after a day ride in the carriage, you’re exhausted. You step out from the carriage with the help of your footman. You walk towards the carriage your best friend and her husband is sitting in. As soon as you arrive, they walk out. You hastily grab onto your best friends arm as she startled in surprise.

“Sorry but I can’t walk up alone.” You whisper to her and she giggles. You hear Jing Yuan lightly groan.

“And now I can’t have my wife to myself.” He sighs in disappointment. You see your best friend swat Jing Yuan shoulder before he grabs her hand to gently place a kiss atop her gloved knuckles.

Then you look up and see Blade at the top of the stairs at the entry to his mansion. He looks good. So good, the suns beaming down on his hair beautifully, showcasing his blue hair. He walks down the stairs to greet us all.

“Your highnesses, welcome to the Stellaron mansion.” Blade bows curtly to Jing Yuan and the princess. They thank equally as grateful then Blade’s eyes lands on you. Heartbeat quickens in pace as usual in any proximity with that man, especially when he looks at you.

“My lady, I hope you enjoy your stay here once more.” He walks towards you, taking your gloved hand in his own, pressing a soft kiss atop your knuckles. Your breath hitches and you give an awkward smile, unbeknownst to how Blade’s hand stretched after he let go.

“I shall, Your Grace. Thank you for extending the invitation to me.” You give a curt nod and he smiles at you.

“Of course.” His eye lingered on you for far too long, you’d think he wanted to say something more but he looked away.

Then he leads you all up the stairs and you walk behind the men with your best friend, arm looped in with hers.

“Oh that man is enamoured with you.” You hear your best friend whisper. You frown at her. “No he isn’t, stop putting ideas in my head.” You shake your head and she giggles. “Oh so you have thought the same.” She does a ‘ohhh’ sound as she teases you and you just sigh at her.

When you arrive in the guest bedroom, you flop down on the bed and stare up at the wall. The maids in the bedroom arrange your suitcases and a bath. You tap your fingers on the mattress pondering on how to approach Blade and talk about, no, more like discuss with him. In a civil proper manner.

Then you sigh, not coming up with any ideas. Then you hear a knock on the door and you tell the maids you take care of it. When you open the door, you lightly get surprised.

“Your Grace.” You say breathily, not expecting him to be there. It’s as if he knew you were thinking about him.

“Just coming to ask if the bedrooms alright and to your liking.” Blade asks, his face looking expectant and you almost wanted to burst out into laughter but decided to spare your laugh for him.

“Oh yes, it is fine. Very fine indeed!” You tell him as politely as you could but probably failed miserably. There was a hint of amusement in his eyes as he nods his head. “Then I’m glad.” Is he all he says before he turns quiet and his gaze linger on you once more. It’s quite worrying, the only time he did this was the day you met him for the first time. But now he’s staring at you. Getting a little conscious, you let out an awkward chuckle.

“Was there anything else, Your Grace?” You ask him and you see how his face winces. You don’t know what for but you can’t be bothered to ask even if you want to.

“Oh? Oh. No, nothing.” Is not what he wanted to say. He wanted to ask if you wanted to take a promenade with him, show you the beautiful lake at the back garden of the mansion and the pretty swans swimming around or the lotus flowers blooming. His hands that’s placed behind his back is tightened into frustrated fists and when he sees you give him an awkward smile, he just can’t stand it. So he sighs.

He sighed. And you don’t know what to make of it. Growing almost annoyed at his sudden weird behaviour, you nod your head at him.

“Then I see you at dinner, Your Grace.” And you shut the door. Standing against the door, exasperated, you let out a deep exhale before you see how the maids are looking at you.

“Does the Duke always act like this?” You ask, quite curious as to what they would say. They looked amongst themselves, not sure if they should say it when one of them shook their head.

“It’s the first time actually, My Lady.” She said and you nod your head.

“It’s quite weird.” You mutter and the maids nod their heads as well.

“The Duke doesn’t like to stare, but he does always start a conversation with us to not make the current circumstances awkward.” A maid tells you and the other agreed with her.

“So he does have the ability to talk and not just stare.” You let out a breathy sound.

“The Duke has been the most gracious to all of us, My Lady. And he’s also never brought a lady here, not even chaperoned, which is kind of a wonder in itself.” And they all agreed in unison once more.

At the last bit of information, questions swirl in your head. Then no wonder, he’s never been seen by society much at all. Those who do catch him, are very few. Then he stayed in Xianzhou for far longer than he intended. Then one wonders why he did just that.

—

Putting on your necklace as a finishing touch, you realize you’re a few minutes late to dinner. Feeling embarrassed for having taking so long, you left your bedroom and hurriedly went downstairs. A servant lead you to the dining room. And when you arrived, the table was set quite closely and it fit four people just fine.

“Oh here you are!” You hear your best friend chime in and you let out an embarrassed giggle. “So sorry for the tardiness.” You say as a servant helps you onto your chair. You say a quick grateful thank you before looking at the men at the table and greeting them as well.

Jing Yuan greets back, complimenting how your gown suits you just finely while your best friend agreed wholeheartedly. Feeling bashful at their sincere compliments, you cover your mouth smiling then looking up to see Blade looking at you.

Or admiring you if you looked properly. It probably is just what your best friend said. He is enamoured with you because he clearly looks like it right now. Heat spreads around your body and your hands starts feel a bit sweaty.

“You do look beautiful, my lady. I agree with your friends here.” No idea on how to react to that, all you could do was smile at him and say a ‘thank you’ while your heart feels like it’s gonna run out of its place in your ribcage than beat out of it.

The food got placed on the table and in the meanwhile, you made eye contact with your best friend and she gave you a knowing look and mouths a ‘told you so’ while you roll your eyes at her which in turn makes her giggle, catching the attention of her husband.

Dinner went smoothly, the conversations was pleasant. And the topic of how the princess caught her husband in her father’s, the king, clutches was such a heartwarming story. After dinner, all four of you got to the sitting room and hung around for a little until the princess and prince decided to retire for the night.

As soon as they decided to do so, you decided to take the moment to leave as well, feeling nervous in Blade’s presence.

“I shall retire-“ you feel someone lightly hold onto your fingers from behind and your first instinct was to hold his hand back but denied yourself to do so.

“Wait.” His voice was soft from behind you and desperate. You turn to face him and retrieve your hand back from his hold, which he furrow his brows at, like it’s agonising to not hold you.

“Do you perhaps wanna take a walk?” He sounds nervous, which is unlike him. You tilt your head to hide your nervousness and instead look confused. “It’s pretty late, Your Grace.” You say simply and he gives a slight smile, nodding his head.

“Yeah you’re right, but do you want to? Maybe we could—“ he ponders off on what to say next. “—perhaps talk?” He finishes off and you looked him slightly surprised but found yourself accepting his offer to walk.

—

He took you to the back of the garden, which was stunning even in the night. You can’t help but think to come back here in the morning, knowing it’d be double the beauty in daytime.

You managed to catch a bloomed lotus flower at the lake and couldn’t help but point it out to Blade, who was walking behind you all in silence.

“It’s so beautiful.” You say as you crouch down and look at the pretty flower, not bothering to look at Blade. “Indeed it is.” Which in turn made you miss the way he looked at you as he agreed at your statement.

You’re absolutely radiant in the moonlight, your gown looks like diamonds the way it’s sparkling in the dark. As you stand and continue walking ahead, your body looks like it’d fit perfectly in Blade’s arms. The way you gently fiddle with your hands as you walk, makes Blade’s own hands itch to hold them so you could fiddle with his hands than your own. Keep yourself occupied with him.

Under the moonlight, Blade sees you look up at the sky, at the moon with a small serene smile on your face. And that’s when he saw the lone stray of hair that fell out of place from your hairdo. Not wasting a chance, he reached his hand out and carefully placed it behind your ear then twirled it around your hairdo. All the while, he did not miss how your body was still in shock.

“What are you doing?” You ask, nervously but deeply.

“I missed you.” He ignores your question, which infuriates you. You harshly turn your head to look at him with furrowed brows and an annoyed expression.

“What do you think you’re doing, Your Grace?” You ask once again and Blade sighs. “I’m fixing your hair.” He says your name at the end and you clutch your dress with your own hands.

“It didn’t need fixing.” You simply say and walk away.

“Please, stop walking away from me.” He says from behind you, pleading for you to stop. You let out a humourless laugh but continue to walk. “Do give me a reason as to why I should stop walking, Your Grace. Maybe then I shall stop doing so.” You retort back.

But your body harshly gets turned around by how Blade grabbed your arm and pulled you against his body.

“Don’t do this to me.” You push at his chest but it’s to no avail, he’s much stronger than you. Somehow, he was quick enough to place his arms around your body and keep you caged in his arms. Maybe you’d appreciate it months ago, but you don’t do it now. It’s agonizing.

“Please listen to me. You at least owe me that.” He says and you scoff. “I don’t owe you anything whatsoever.” You glare at him, holding back tears. You feel his hands trail up your back to cup your face. As if it’s a pure instinct, your body nuzzles into his touch and you hate how much you love this. How much you love and miss his touch on you.

“I know. You’re right. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Then let go of me.” You tell him and he shakes his head.

“I already did that once and I won’t do it again.”

“What’s so different this time, Your Grace? You sound like you might return my feelings this time.” At your words, he stills. As if in a moment of clarity. You look at him and scoff once more. Taking the moment of his stillness, you push him and walk away.

“Leave me alone. I know that face. That’s the exact same face you did the day at the balcony. I’ve been refused once by you, can’t have it happen once more, can we?” You huff out a laugh, finding it absolutely ridiculous. Refused by the same man, twice? Maybe you should take a dive into the lake, it’s definitely still cold. As you were nearing the mansion, it starts to rain. About to hurry in, Blade grabs you by the arm again.

“Why don’t you just listen to me?” He asks loudly over the pouring harsh rain. His wet hair sticking to his skin and the raindrops streaming down his face.

“Last time I did that, you said you were not interested in me like that!” You yell from over the rain. “I'd lose it if I get rejected by you once again, Your Grace. So no, I won’t listen.”

“Then let me explain, please I beg you.” His grip on your arm was tight, you swear you’d get a bruise by it my morning. “Then explain yourself.” You tell him.

He was gonna speak up, but then he sees you shiver. And he sees how strongly he’s holding onto your arm and he lets go immediately. He instantly takes his suit jacket off and places it around your body.

“I’m fine, Your Grace. The mansion is just a few meters away.” He shakes his head, refusing to heed your words. You sigh out, letting him do what he wants this time. When he properly put the jacket around you, even tied the arms into a knot as if it would fall off anytime.

“Let’s get back inside, you’re shivering.” He says and grabs your hand. You stumbled just a few steps as you walked. Then just a few second later, you were up in the air, facing the back garden and smelling the familiar scent of Blade’s natural scent and in his arms. He’s carrying you. Then you feel him tuck you against his chest as if to shield you from the rain even if you’re already soaked through.

Arriving inside the mansion, you hear the surprised and worried voices of the servants and Blade ordering them to prepare a warm bath for you. All while he strides up the stairs, with you still in his arms. And all you could do was hold onto him as if he was your safety net. At some point you found yourself almost burrowing your head onto his chest, feeling safe and content in his arms, his scent surrounding all your senses.

Then you were put on a chair in your guest bedroom. The servants hurriedly prepared the bath. One gave you a blanket then hurried to help her colleagues prepare the bath. You didn’t realize that Blade was still in the room when he had spoken up.

“You may leave this room, I’ll take care her.” At their dukes surprising orders, all the servants could do was bow their head and dismiss themselves.

Then as you sit on the chair, you’re ignoring him. But he knows just how to make you look at him. So he does that. He kneels in front of you, which does make you turn and look at him confused.

“What are you doing?” You ask but lightly gasp when you feel him grasp your leg gently.

When he slides your soaked dress up your legs, you feel extra conscious of your close proximity. He stops sliding your dress up when he reaches the hem of your stockings. Heavy breaths escapes your mouth and your hands tremble on your lap.

“Hold onto your dress, my love.” He softly says, lightly startling at the name he used for you but you did what he said nonetheless. Dress now bunched up and held in place by you, your stocking covered legs are on full display. This act feels intimate to you and it is for sure intimate. But knowing how he feels about you, you don’t know what to make of this. Should you be happy he’s giving signs that he care for you or should you beat yourself up over the fact this may be an act of kindness, not cause he may return your feelings.

He places your heel clad feet on his knee, unties the string connected to your shoes. He looks at you time to time and sees you breathe heavily, your chest rising up and down with a lovely expression. Your eyes are on him, lips parted in shock and the expression tells him you’re surprised to see him do this. Have him touch you. To see the Duke of Stellaron on his knees, helping you. Though you two are of the same social standing. You’re two unmarried people in a room alone together without a chaperone.

He takes your heel off your foot and you can feel his clothed knee even through your stocking. You clutch onto your dress on your lap as you see him touch your stocking softly. Gentle as if you’re a precious doll. Your heart beats fast but it aches. How can he do this after the rejection. After the arguing.

Your breath hitches when you feel him touch the hem of your stocking and slowly slides it down your bare leg. You grab onto his hand midway, shaking your head.

“Why are you doing this?” You softly ask again. He shakes his head. “If you stay in those soaked clothes a moment more, you will catch a fever. So I’m helping you out.” At his words, you turn speechless.

He manages to slip down the stocking and gently puts it on the armrest of the chair you’re sitting on. Thinking about his words and how they’re bothering you, you feel him touch your bare leg, sliding a finger up and down your skin as if he’s mesmerized. You turn quiet and watch him still. He’s confusing. Extremely so.

To work on the other stocking, he gotta grab your other leg. Blade feels happy doing this. Helping you out. The thought of you catching a fever itches at his skin. He doesn’t like the thought of you feverish and in pain. Then if you do catch a fever, you’d have to stay in this mansion until you get better. That thought doesn’t seem so bad to Blade.

Grabbing your other leg, the feel of your bare skin on his fingertips is entrancing. Feeling how your stocking slide down your pretty bare leg and revealing more of your skin, it makes his thoughts wander further and further. Further to were those legs lead up to. Up to your thighs and if he just spread your legs a little and bunched up your dress on your lap, he’d see the apex of your thighs and he almost felt lightheaded. Your scoff burst his little thought bubble of you. He looks up as he finally slid down the entire stocking of your leg.

“Helping me out, you said.” You say, scoffing once again. “It’s ironic, Your Grace.” To hear you address him like and not by his name, he physically flinched.

“You aren’t helping anything at all. Wasn’t our argument just a few moment ago not helping?” You ask him, astonished.

“You’ve been acting so weird ever since the day you rejected me. Your Grace, it’s not been a week since that day, it’s been months. Surely you have seen how you’ve behaved towards me.”

“You’re speaking as if I’ve acted in an evil manner towards you.” He says almost offended and you let out a humorless laugh.

“You don’t find it evil how you been at my beck and call, doing things a man who courts someone does after rejecting me evil?” At your words, his heart shattered. About to speak up, you beat him to it.

“It hurts.” He sees your eyes glisten up in tears as your voice wavers. “It hurts so much, here.” You place your hand at the spot of your heart. His hands trembles, itching to touch you, to hold you.

“I’ve given you my bare heart just for you to refuse it, then now you’re behaving as if you never rejected me.” Tears fall down your face, Blade hates seeing you cry like that. How many times he’s probably done that, he doesn’t wanna think about it.

“Why did you reject me?” You ask and Blade stands on his knees and holds your face gently. He wipes your tears off with his thumb.

“I have no other reasons than just that I don’t want to be in a relationship. I can’t. I’m scared.” His answer infuriates you, but at least he’s honest. Brutally so. You lightly scoff though there’s tears streaming down your face.

“Then why still make me think you might feel the same after the way you’ve behaved? Why give me hope?”

“Because I realized too late.” His words now confusing you. Realizing too late about what? You see how his eyes flicker all over your face and how his grip on your head feels almost rough. “Realized what?” You ask, confused.

“That I love you. I realized too late that the moment you smiled at me you’ve had my heart ever since. I still loved you the day I rejected you. That’s what I realized too late about.” You’re speechless. Not knowing what else to say, you feel his thumbs rub your cheeks gently, he flashes you a sad smile.

“It was stupid of me to do that. The day you walked away from me after almost losing your hat, that’s when I knew.”

“How?”

“Because at that moment, I didn’t make you happy. Your lovely smile didn’t appear on your pretty face. Your eyes didn’t almost glimmer in joy. The thought of you unhappy, it ate me up from the inside.” His voice is wavering and you feel his hand on your face shake.

“I wanted to run after you that day at the balcony, but I thought it was too late. There was no way to mend what I had caused.” His eyes well up in tears and you look at him stunned.

“I’m so sorry. I hurt you so much, I shouldn’t have said i wasn’t interested in you. Because I am. Every day I imagine a life with you, every day I long to touch you, to hold your body in my arms and cage you in and keep you to myself. Everyday I want to see you smile and hear your pretty laughs. A day without you, it was tormenting me.” A few tears fell down his face and you immediately go to wipe it off.

“If you had just said that to me that day at the balcony, we wouldn’t have to do this.” You tell him and Blade looks at you sadly, truly regretful.

“I’m so sorry, baby, I shouldn’t have said those awful words to you.” He shakes his head as he earnestly looks into your eyes, truly apologetic. “I am in love with you, most ardently. A day without you is torture, it’s way worse than the Mara that’s been found lately at Xianzhou.” He bemoaned, which makes a tiny giggle leave your mouth. You see how Blade’s eyes lightens up at the sound, watching your mouth expecting more of that sound to come out.

Him staring so shamelessly at your lips, has you flustered and you were about remove your hands from face when Blade, in a haste, put his own on top of yours. He shakes his head, looking defeated.

“Don’t leave, please?” He pleads and your heart races. “I’m not gonna leave, I just felt nervous at the way you were staring at me like that.” You mumble out and Blade’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Why are you staring at me so much anyway? And you always sigh too.” You lightly pout and Blade flashes you a bashful smile.

“Because you’re bewitching. One look at you, it gets me in a trance.” He explains. “But that don’t explain the sigh.” You try to ignore the fluttery mess of your heart at his honest confession of his staring.

“Because it’s absolutely outstanding that someone as enchanting as you is walking on this earth, with mere mortals.” He says and you giggle. “That sounds ridiculous, Yingxing.” You shake your head at his silly words. As you shook your head, you look down at your lap and see how Blade is situated in between your thighs. The position looks quite…scandalous. Your bare legs don’t help it either.

“I love it when you call me that.” He tells you and you nod your head. “Feels better to hear that than my title.” He adds on and you chuckle.

“Now that I know, I might call you that if you wrong me again.” You tease, saying the words in a lighthearted way but Blade turned serious.

“I will never wrong you again, my love. I stand by that promise.” He is saying it like it’s some knightly honour, which is endearing. “That’s impossible, we’re bound to come to disagreement but we shall talk it out than leave it be.” You tell him. He nods his head in agreement.

“Wronging you is something I stand by not ever doing again.” That was final and his sincerity makes you shy.

“The water is getting cold, the servants stressed to prepare this for me.” You shyly mutter out and Blade nods his head. He leans his head in to nuzzle his nose against yours. As Blade was about to pull away, he sees how he’s seated inbetween your thighs and he gulps on air.

You also saw where his eyes went and you feel how his hands moves down to your thighs. As if dazed, he places his bare palms on your skin and you lightly sigh at the touch. As he runs his hands up and down your thighs, he traces his nose down below your face, when he reaches your neck he breathes in your scent there. “You smell heavenly, my love. I can’t get enough of it.” You hear him groan against your neck as his hands squeeze your thighs and your hands clutch onto his shoulders.

“Yingxing, the water.” You manage to breath out and Blade immediately pulls away. His face is flushed and his hair a mess. You let to go off your hold on his shoulders.

“You’re right, I shall leave you alone as you bathe. Call for me when you’re done, yeah?” He’s so gentle. He’s now softly holding your neck and strokes his noses against your own before pressing a kiss on your forehead. His actions leaving you completely stunned, all you could do was nod and you were alone in the room.

You took your gown off and entered your peach scented bath. Then you remembered Blade’s confession, his touches and the way he caressed your legs. You touch your legs as if remembering his touch then you feel embarrassed before soaking your entire body in the bathtub.

—

Putting on a nightgown after your bath. You pace around the room for a moment. Debating on if you should go sleep and pretend to forget Blade told you to call for him. Then how can you call for him anyhow? You’d have to go to his bedroom personally.

At that thought, you get a sudden realization and your body flushes in warmth. Going to his bedroom at night feels nerve racking but at the thought of being alone with him, makes you feel elated.

You were tiptoeing outside your room, mindful of your surroundings but somehow not catching there was a door ajar, seeing what you’re doing. As you were walking down the hall barefooted, you realized you don’t know where his bedroom is. You sigh to yourself for your stupidity and was about to walk away when you hear footsteps from down the hall.

A tall figure emerges and your eyes lightens in joy at seeing Blade.

“Hi.” You softly whisper and he smiles at you like you hold the world. “Hi.” He greets you back and softly takes your hand in his.

“Remembered there’s no way for you to call for me than going to my bedroom, so I came to check up on you.” He whispers to you and you muffle your giggle with your unoccupied hand, nodding in agreement.

“Come, let’s go back.” He says, dragging you to the direction your bedroom is. You stand put, not following along. As Blade sees what you’re doing, he turns confused but when he sees you shake your head slightly when placing your other hand over your intertwined ones, he understood.

—

He gently leads you into his bedroom and you feel all sorts of emotions at once. You see him light the candle by his desk then turns around to face you. The room being lit by only the candle with you two in it, your heart definitely skipped out of its place.

Blade is looking at you, it’s like his crimson eyes felt darker in the candlelit room and you decided to do anything else than look at the man.

“So…” you start off as you walk towards his bookshelves in the room, pretending to examine the titles. “You read books!” You chime awkwardly and Blade looks at you amused.

“I do, I’ve told you that before, my love.” He softly tells you as he starts to approach you. Your widens and you quickly speak up.

“No, stop right there!” You exclaim then quickly cover your mouth for being too loud. Blade stops walking instantly, confused as to why you told him to stay there.

“I—why?” He tilts his head and your breath feels almost like it’s staggering.

“It’s the proximity.” You tell him.

“Proximity?”

“Yes.” You nod your head.

“Or is it me?” Blade sees your lips part in surprise before you slightly nod your head. His heart flutters at the thought of you being flustered in his closeness. He takes a step forward and he sees you back slowly against the bookshelf, he smiles at the sight.

When he got close to you, finally, he softly tugs on your hands before clasping them together with his own. He brings them to his lips, kisses the top of your fingers gently, all while keeping an eye contact with you. Your breath staggers and you wet your lower lip.

“I was honest in everything I said today.” He mumbles against your hand and your eyes slightly widens. He smiles again. “I know it’s hard to believe me after I rejected you so cruelly that day.” You shake your head.

“I do believe you.” You softly mutter, loving the way he kisses your fingertips. “I’m happy that you do.” He says before he unclasps your hands to cup your face. He backs you against the bookshelf, making you tilt your head to look at him. He leans down, pressing his forehead against yours.

“I wanted to kiss you since our last dance.” He mumbles and you sigh as you rub your nose against his. “Do you still want to?” You shyly ask and he chuckles.

“Oh my love, such an obvious question you’re asking me.” He nuzzles his nose against your cheek before you feel his mouth pressing open mouthed kisses on your face except the place you want them to press down against.

“Then kiss me.” You whisper before you felt a pair of soft lips upon yours. You sigh into the kiss as you trail your hands up over his firm chest to hold him by his neck.

His lips moves so softly against yours but his grip on your face is tight and desperate. When you feel his tongue in your mouth, you gasp into the kiss at the same time as you squeeze his neck. He takes the moment to nibble on your lower lip as his hands moves down your back to place themselves them on your waist, his fingertips close to your backside.

Then he takes your mouth in another kiss, teeth clashing against each other in a desperate and hungry attempt to kiss deeper and deeper. He continues to kiss you as if he hasn’t had enough until you had to pull away, breathless. Blade is panting himself but can’t stop himself from reaching your mouth again and press kisses on the corner of your mouth down to your jaw to your pulse point, all of that making your grip on his neck tighten and soft moans leaving your lips.

“So this is how it feels to kiss you?” You hear him breathe out, chest heaving up and down. You let out a small chuckle. Blade noses the spot between your neck and shoulder, before trailing chaste kisses down your throat to your collarbone, breathing in your scent. All while grabbing onto your thighs, as if in reflex, you pull your thighs up and he automatically lifts you and pins you against the bookshelves. His hands are now below the material of your nightgown and you can’t stop the constant sighs and soft moans that escapes your mouth with the way he’s pressing kisses on your skin.

As you wrap your thighs around his lithe waist, you feel Blade’s hands close to the inner parts of your thighs and you still in surprise. Your hands reflexively gently push his chest and he stops his kisses on your skin.

Blade sees your widened eyes and he feels where his hands wandered to and his own eyes widens as well.

“I wasn’t supposed to go that far.” He says almost if he got caught for committing a very heinous crime. You lightly shake your head, your hands clutch onto his shirt on his chest.

“No, it’s okay. I was just…shocked. That’s all.” You reassure him softly and he nods.

“I won’t do anything you won’t like.” You hear Blade say and you smile at him, genuinely. Your heart feels full of love for him. When Blade sees you smile at him so lovingly, he can’t help but kiss you on the mouth for a few moments more.

“You haven’t done anything I’ve disliked.” You mutter against his mouth during the kiss. You feel Blade smile against your lips, then you feel his hands that are still on your thighs, squeeze you as if he liked the words you just said.

You feel how your back isn’t pressed against the bookshelf anymore, but rather pressing against nothing, so you immediately wrap your arms around his neck. Then you realize Blade is walking with you in his arms, towards the bed. Then you lightly flop down on the mattress from when Blade gently released you.

When Blade sees your hair splattered across his pillows, your nightgown sliding up your thighs with your legs lightly crossed. And with the way you look up at him with such pretty eyes, he loves it. He loves the sight of you on his bed, at his mercy and now in between his arms as he caged you in on the bed.

Then he kisses you all over your face in a haste, making giggles and bunch of soft ‘stop, it tickles’ go past your pretty mouth. He loves this too. Being alone with you, having you all to himself as he gets to press his mouth against anywhere on your soft body. And when he feels you hold his shoulders and your thighs wrapped around him, he feels at ease and fulfilled. Life couldn’t get any better than this.

“I love you.” You hear him say. His voice so soft and gentle, so in love and awe to be able to say these three words to you. You heart just cannot stop beating faster and faster, body heating up even more at his words. You softly nod your head, then you feel him lean down to nuzzle his nose against yours, muttering the three words again and again.

“I love you.” You tell him back then he kisses you on the mouth, saying ‘i love you’ with the way his lips moves against yours leisurely and in unbridled joy.

—

“It’s okay, you can leave it here.” You hear muffled voices from beneath the blanket and you feel the sun beams on your face. You snuggle up closer to the blanket, sighing in content at the familiar scent of Blade on the blanket. You smile sleepily against the material before you feel the bed dip beside you. You turn around and see Blade look down at you with such a soft way in his eyes, full of love.

If it was possible for your body to flush in warmth all the time around this man, your body would be constantly in that state.

“Good morning, my dove.” He leans down to press a kiss on your forehead. You pout and shake your head, puckering your lips and you hear Blade giggle. Then you feel his mouth upon yours and you smile into the kiss. Your arms go around his neck and you push his entire upper body on yourself, feeling his entire weight on your body but you love it even though he’s heavy.

“Good morning, Yingxing.” Blade can't get enough of the way his name leaves your lips. The way you say it, he loves it. The day he won’t hear his name past your mouth, he’s a dead man.

“Let’s get up, it’s morning and there’s breakfast for you.” You nod your head at his words and you feel his hands on your hips before he moves you up against the headboard of the bed and makes you sit up straight. You giggle at the way he manhandled you and he presses a soft kiss on your mouth.

“Did you sleep well?” You ask as he hands you a sandwich. He nods his head as he softly runs his hand down your hair.

“I missed out on a lot of the times you weren’t asleep in my arms.” He grins as you giggle, feeling him put a strand of hair behind your ear. “Don’t tell me you stared at me as I slept.” You look suspiciously at him and he puts his hands up as if he got caught.

“You can’t blame me, you look absolutely beautiful as you sleep.” He tells you. You pout. “I drool when I sleep.” Blade chuckles. “Then I be there to wipe it off for you if you do.”

Your heart flutters at his words and you shake your head embarrassedly. “You and your silly words.” You tell him as you take the last piece of sandwich in your mouth. Blade rubs your mouth, wiping off crumbs then eats the little crumb himself.

“Only you will hear those silly words, my love.” He tells you and you playfully groan. “Oh no, that’s torture.” You cover your face as you grin. You hear Blade laugh as he then climbs up on the bed to hover over you on the bed.

“Oh, then this won’t be torture then?” He asks. And you uncover your face, wondering what he means. “What won’t be?” You ask him back.

Then he kisses you.

Oh this is definitely not torture.

—

Your arm were looped in with your best friends as you two take a stroll in the back garden of the Stellaron Mansion.

“So, what’d I tell you?” You hear your best friend chime in amusedly and you lightly roll your eyes. “That he was enamoured with me.” You repeat her words and she nods, proud of herself.

“And he most certainly is, he can’t stop looking at you ever since you two got out from his bedroom.” She emphasised ‘his’ which makes your eyes get big and you look at her surprised.

“You knew?!” You almost shriek and she giggles. “I saw you two at night, tiptoeing and whispering around then he dragged you to his bedroom.” The way she described it is funny to you, so you can’t help the laugh that escapes your mouth.

“He didn’t drag me. I was the one who asked him to take me there.” You tell her and your best friend oh’s entertained and you giggle at her antics.

“I didn’t know you had it in you.” She lightly pushes your shoulder and you shrug your shoulders playfully. “Well, I did learn from the best, didn’t I?” You whisper to her and the princess laughs. If one has to know, your best friend the princess, sneaked down to her husband, former bodyguard of hers, bedroom after a ball.

“Alright, let’s go back, I can feel Bladie’s stare on us millions away.” Your best friend says and you giggle. Because he is indeed looking your way. When you see him, you wave and he waved back. He is so endearing.

—

“I will court you properly and ask for your hand once we get back to Xianzhou. How does that sound, my dove?” You hear Blade ask from below the steps to the carriage.

“I love it.” You smile at him as he takes your hand in his and kisses your knuckles softly. He wished he kissed you on the mouth but with so many watching, he decided to spare it for another time.

As he lets go off your hand, you take your fan and unravel it.

“Come closer.” You whisper to him, Blade looks confused then he feels you grab by his collar before covering the view of your faces to everyone with the fan. Then he feels your soft lips on top of his and he smiles. He feels most wholeheartedly happy. You giggle against his mouth when he leans back in to kiss you more when you lean away.

“Okay, no more.” You tell him and he lightly pouts, looking saddened and you pat your hand against his cheek.

“You get to kiss me as much as you want once I’m your wife.” At the mention of you being his wife, his eyes lightens up. He takes a step closer to the carriage.

“And I’m your husband.” He whispers before pressing one last kiss on your mouth, making you lightly gasp and him grin happily.

To think you’d make such a stoic man get so soft around you, is astonishing but you love it.

—

phew! thanks for reading it this far, hopefully you liked it ><

please leave a like and reblog if you did, that would be most appreciated! <3

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nxuvillette · 6 months ago

Text

TO FEEL WHOLE AGAIN — BOOTHILL

synopsis: getting pregnant and left by yourself wasn’t in your plans in life at all, but you end up meeting a man who becomes more than just a friend who’s willing to help.

❥- pairings : boothill x fem!reader

❥- note : so sorry for any inactivity !! life has just been a wreck, but i’m here with a little idea I came up with the other night. i hope you all enjoy <3 reblogs are appreciated !!

content warnings : sfw, fem!reader, ageless + blank blogs dni, pregnancy, abandonment, heavy angst, breakups, mentions of abortion (reader does not have one), mentions of alcohol, human!boothill, angst with happy ending, use of pet names (darling + lovely), fluff, very fluffy things.

You can recall the day you met Boothill like it was the back of your hand.

It was the day your life had begun a completely new journey, but also, the same day that your life had completely fallen apart within just twenty four hours. Every memory was ingrained in your brain like it was never meant to go away. How could things end up going right, but so wrong at the same time?

About seven months prior, you found yourself sitting inside of a bar with tears still staining your cheeks from the incident that had occurred just hours beforehand. Your heart had gleamed, but shattered just minutes after. You questioned why something like this had happened to you. You never wronged anybody. Sure, you weren’t the most perfect person to exist, but as humans, it’s in their nature to make mistakes. Yet, god had different plans for you and they weren’t exactly the most pleasing ones.

Just two days before that day, you had found out you were pregnant.

It came by total surprise. You and your boyfriend weren’t exactly trying for kids, but you both had been together for four years at that point. You noticed something was off about you when your period suddenly missed its usual day, and you were experiencing some very odd symptoms that were unusual. After some convincing from your friends, you decided to go out and purchase a pregnancy test which came back positive. You didn’t know what to feel. You were excited, nervous, emotional, but most of all, anxious. You didn’t know how to break the news to your boyfriend and you weren’t sure whether or not you wanted to keep it.

For a few days, you didn’t say anything to him. You weren’t the best with words and you didn’t want to dump something so sudden onto him either, but he eventually figured it out when he found you one morning throwing up your breakfast into the toilet.

He wasn’t angry or upset, but you knew something wasn’t right with him after he found out. He started to become somewhat distant and he avoided any conversation about the baby growing inside you. Then, that same day you ended up at the bar, you had woken up to him gone. All of his items and personal belongings had been cleaned out, and when you tried to get a hold of him, he just completely ghosted you. You didn’t understand. Was it you? Was it the baby? Why did he just up and leave you like that with zero hesitation? It was like your heart had been shattered into pieces and you didn’t know what to do. He left you alone and pregnant with his child.

Completely brokenhearted and confused, that’s how you ended up in the bar. No, you weren’t drinking any alcohol, but there was a part of you that wanted to head to the clinic and terminate the pregnancy all together. You couldn’t raise a baby on your own. You had seen many stories of mothers defying the odds and managing, but would you be able to? You loved your now ex boyfriend more than life itself. You didn’t think you could fall in love again, and what man would want a single mother as a girlfriend? Most of them would scurry away the second it’s brought up. It wasn’t their job to shame you for whatever choices you made.

The bar's atmosphere was buzzing with people chatting amongst themselves. Despite being around people, you still felt completely isolated inside of it. You kept thinking of the choices in your brain over and over again. It was consuming you, and you didn’t think you were in the right state of mind to make that decision right now.

You were brought out of your thoughts when the bartender placed a glass in front of you. It was filled with some kind of alcohol that looked like it could be a margarita or a martini. Your brows furrowed at the sight of the beverage. You didn’t order it. “U-Um.. sir, I didn’t order this.” you pushed the glass towards the man behind the bar who was cleaning some cups used earlier.

“I know, but that man over there did.” he pointed towards the other end of the bar.

You turned your attention to where he was motioning his hand. Your eyes widened a little at the sight of the man who sat a few seats away from you. He had a cowboy hat on top of his head, and very long hair that stretched past his chair. He was wearing a white button up shirt that exposed his chest just a little. He noticed you were staring at him and winked at you, then waved a little. It didn’t seem creepy or strange, but you didn’t know how to react. Despite feeling the way you did, you couldn’t help but think how handsome he was. He had a cunning smile and seemed like one of those cowboys you would have heard of in stories you heard when you were younger, but you knew you couldn’t accept his drink.

Soon enough, you turned away and just pushed your drink from your reach. You didn’t want to do anything stupid. If it came off as rude, then so be it. You weren’t about to fight with another man this evening.

You decided to check your phone. There was a small bit of hope that was in your heart. You hoped that maybe your ex reached out to you to fix things or maybe had something to say, but unfortunately, there was nothing. You had a few random notifications from friends, but otherwise, it was silence on the other end. God, you felt like an idiot. He was gone for good. Men who do that shit typically fall off the face of the earth and never come back again.

“Hey, sweetheart, mind if I take this spot next to ya?”

You practically jumped out of your skin at the sudden voice that spoke beside you. Your head snapped towards the sound, and you were a bit surprised to see that man who was sitting across the bar now standing next to you. His cologne filled your nose. It smelled of deep wood with a mix of pine.

Your words got caught in your throat. Was he doing this to make you uncomfortable? Part of you wanted to ignore him, but he wasn’t necessarily doing anything wrong. “N-No! Go ahead.. it’s empty anyway..” you replied, trying to avoid his eyes that were boring holes into your face.

The man plopped beside you, taking a swig of his glass that seemed to be filled with some kind of whisky. He was quiet, at first. You weren’t sure if striking up a conversation was in your cards tonight. You were honestly too lost in your thoughts, and somewhat a little nauseated. “So, uh, do ya come around here often? You’re quite the peach if I say so myself.” he placed his cheek against his fist which was resting against the table beside him.

“I don’t..” you replied, dryly.

He seemed a little discouraged by your sudden lack of enthusiasm. It wasn’t your intention, but really, you weren’t interested. “I see.. my name’s Boothill.” he said. “Yours?”

Your eyes flickered towards him then back at the soda can that your hand was wrapped around. This was starting to feel awkward or almost like a forced conversation. You didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but you wanted him to take the hint. “(Y/N)..” you looked at your cell phone to try and avoid him. “Look.. I-I appreciate the drink, but I’m not really interested in a relationship. I just don’t.. I..”

Before you were even able to finish your sentence, tears began to trickle down your cheeks. You didn’t even know you were holding them in until they began to slip from your eyes.

Boothill was taken back by your sudden tears. He immediately felt guilt wash over him. He didn’t mean to come off as a weirdo or forceful towards you. That’s the last thing he would ever do. “Hey.. I’m sorry, shit, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I-I can totally take the drink back and get out of your hair.” he stood up out of his chair to leave the bar.

You started to wipe your cheeks of any liquid that was on them. “N-No, it’s alright, it’s not you..” you shook your head. “I’ve just had a rough couple of hours.. believe me, it’s not you at all.”

The man was unsure of what to reply with. Regardless, he felt very bad for you. Not many people come into bars to weep. Most of the time, they come to do the opposite and use the drinks to numb any negative feelings they have. He didn’t want to pry by any means. “I see.. I’m still sorry, darlin’ I had no idea..” he paused for a moment thinking of what to say next. “If you wanna talk, I’m willing to listen, can’t guarantee I’m any good at advice, but I can be an open ear.”

You weren’t sure if venting your feelings to a complete stranger would make any difference in how you felt. It's not like he would care much anyway. He would probably look at you with that same look every other person had given you when you told them what your ex did.

However, you were completely wrong.

That day you told Boothill everything that had happened to you. He was completely blown away when you confessed that you were pregnant. He kept apologizing for the drink and was somewhat worried that you felt disrespected, but you didn’t take any offense. It’s not like he knew, nor were you even showing at that point.

Although he didn’t know you, he had a lot of sympathy for you. He told you that your boyfriend wasn’t a man, but a young boy who couldn’t take responsibility for his actions and he didn’t deserve you by any means. Boothill felt as if abandoning a woman and her child was the sickest thing you could ever do in this life, and you couldn’t help but agree. Especially after spending many years together.

It felt kind of nice to have someone listen. Even if he was some random person you didn’t know, there was at least somebody out there who was willing to give you the time of day.

You felt a little dull when you realized you would probably never see Boothill again, but you thanked him many times for his patience. He was even sweet enough to walk you back to your apartment which wasn’t very far from the bar at all. Typically, you weren’t so trusting when it came to men in general, but Boothill’s energy felt secure for some reason. You didn’t feel fear or unease around him. Your body would always give you signs someone wasn’t good, but you were calm and didn’t have a single issue.

For a little while, you wondered if keeping the child was the right option, but after a lot of conversations with your friends and family, and oddly enough, Boothill, you decided to go forward with the pregnancy.

You thought you would have to do it alone, but that changed almost instantly when you started receiving random items at your doorstep one morning.

You had a stable job, but you knew babies weren’t a walk in the park financially. Your parents offered to help pay for whatever was necessary, but you felt bad for making them do such a thing. It all started to shift when you discovered a package outside your apartment door. You had a box of different supplies. Baby shampoo, baby bottles, wipes, lotions. It was basic necessities for an infant and you were a bit confused how they showed up there. You questioned your parents but they denied ordering anything of the sorts, so you wondered who gifted it to you.

Your friends were also clueless. They had gifts in mind but they weren’t planning on purchasing anything that early on in your pregnancy. You hadn’t even planned on a baby shower or anything of the sorts.

It didn’t take long for more things to arrive. One morning, you saw that you had been given some baby toys. They were small and quite cute, but you still had yet to discover who was the one leaving them at your doorstep. You wondered if it was potentially your ex trying to somehow compensate you for deserting you, but would he really? He left you alone with the baby. It was clear enough that he wasn’t interested in helping to raise it, so why put in the effort to accommodate you? He could care less about you.

It all changed when you were leaving your apartment one afternoon. You had an appointment at the doctor’s office to check on how the baby was doing, and standing right beside your front door was not your ex, but Boothill.

At first, you didn’t notice him holding a box of items in his hand, but the realization soon took over that he was the one buying the gifts. You were taken by complete surprise. The two of you had hardly interacted much during that time period, so it did confuse you why he was helping you. He wasn’t obligated to just because you informed him of what your ex did. It wasn’t like you were begging him for money or assistance either. Boothill was just as surprised to see you there too. He usually would stop by when he knew you wouldn’t be around, but he knew sooner or later the truth would come out.

With a flushed face, Boothill began to explain himself.

He told you that he just couldn’t let you go on that journey alone. He knew it wasn’t his responsibility to be buying you things or even being involved in your life like that, but at the same time, he couldn’t sleep at night knowing that you were all alone and there wasn’t anybody else to be there for you. He did apologize if it made you uncomfortable and he wouldn’t come around again if that was the case.

However, you told him the opposite. You were very thankful for what he had been doing for you. Not many men would step up and just go out of their way to buy things for a baby that wasn’t theirs. You told him you were very appreciative of what he had done, and he could come around as often as he liked. It was kind of lonely being by yourself all of the time. Your friends weren’t always the most available, and you lived on your own. It felt nice to know that somebody wanted to spend time with you. He was relieved that you weren’t weirded out or upset with his actions. He wanted to do the right thing.

Much to his surprise, you invited him to come to your ultrasound that day, and he was thrilled.

Your interactions grew over the course of a few months. You started seeing him everyday and he came around whenever you needed something. Boothill didn’t mind spending his days with you. It was a joy to watch your belly grow and to see your baby begin to become larger than it was before. His favorite moments were when he’d feel a small kick or movement. He loved kids. It was a guilty pleasure of his, and he honestly couldn’t wait to meet your baby girl. He made so many bets that it was going to be a girl and you thought he would somehow be wrong, but he was right the entire time.

Along with the baby's growth, there were also feelings between you and Boothill too. He was the first man in your life since your ex and he treated you so much better. He did everything for you, and the baby wasn’t even his. He would spend time helping you tidy up your house, holding your hair away from your face when you had morning sickness, making you tea, giving you massages whenever your body felt sore. Boothill did everything. He even offered at one point to do the entire nursery for you when your due date came closer, but you assured him that it wasn’t his duty to do so.

But, he planned on doing it anyway.

All of your friends told you to go for it. They said that Boothill was what you needed and they could tell he was into you too, but you were still unsure. If anything, he could be doing all of this just to somehow hurt you in the end or claim you “owed” him a relationship for doing everything for the baby. You knew that probably wasn’t the case, but you were still on the fence.

But, was he?

That afternoon, you had woken up from a nap to a knocking coming from your front door. You weren’t expecting any guests, but you had already assumed it was Boothill who was there to do his usual drop by to check in on you.

You unlocked the front door, pulling it open so he could enter. He was dressed in his usual outfit. A white button shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and those cowboy boots that you had made fun of a few times. Boothill was used to just entering your place at that point. “Afternoon, darlin’” he said, shutting the door behind him.

Your hair was a bit messy from your nap and you weren’t really dressed up. You wore an oversized t-shirt with a pair of shorts that sat just below your belly. It was a lot more comfortable than the regular pajamas you were used to wearing months ago, but alas, the growth of your body had made those a lot less comfortable these days. Boothill still thought you were gorgeous despite the messy look. “Hi..” you yawned. “Sorry, I’m fresh from a nap. I didn’t hear my alarm..”

“Not a problem, I was just stopping by to drop something off for you.” he replied, handing you a box that had your name on top of it.

Your eyes flickered from the box to the man who was staring down at you. You were used to him giving you random things for the baby here and there, so you were expecting something that was a necessity. “I’m curious, let me see.” you then began opening at the box to see what was inside of it.

After a few seconds, you pulled out a small blanket, but it wasn’t one that was from the store. It was actually homemade, and right in the center was the baby name you had picked out stitched into the fabric with baby pink lace. It was probably the most adorable thing you had ever received from him. It was so soft and you could already picture yourself swaddling your little girl in the blanket itself. The fact that it was homemade as well made it even more special than it already was.

You weren’t sure if it was the pregnancy emotions or not, but you could feel warm tears burning your eyes. It was truthfully making you feel so happy for this pregnancy, but most of all for Boothill. You couldn’t be more blessed with a man like him. “I-I.. I love it..” you sniffled, trying to hide your tears. “It’s so cute..”

Boothill was concerned with your sudden emotions. He didn’t mean to make you cry. If anything, he wanted to do something special for you since you were a special person in his life. “Ahh.. shit, I’m sorry, lovely, is it too much?” he asked, nodding his head.

You shook your head, laughing in the process to try and halt the tears slipping through your eyes. It was the furthest thing from too much. You adored it. You didn’t care if the stitching was a little crooked or if the pink was somewhat bright, it was cute. It had to be one of the best gifts you had ever gotten. “N-No! I love it! It’s something I wouldn’t have imagined you’d give me! Did you do it all on your own?” you looked up at him with an eyebrow raised.

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Haha.. yeah, that’s why it might seem a little messy. I got the idea though and figured why not? You need something to swaddle that little monster with!” he smiled, which made you smile as well.

Boothill was taken back when he suddenly felt your arms wrap around him. This was the first time you had ever initiated any sort of physical contact with him, and he wasn’t sure how to react to it. Your body felt warm and your belly was against his own abdomen. He could smell the scent of your shampoo lingering in your hair, and it almost intoxicated him from how delicious it smelled. He hesitated for a brief moment, then settled his own arms around your waist. It just felt.. so right to be hugging you. He had yearned for quite a while to feel your touch, and now that he had it, he wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip through his fingers.

Your cheeks felt hot at the realization that you two were so close. There was so much going through your mind at the moment, and all you craved was him. His presence, his touch, his warmth, anything. It was all you wanted. “Boothill.. I want you there when she’s born..” you spoke, softly. “I want you by my side.. you deserve that more than anybody else.”

His eyes grew wide at your words. Sure, he knew he was going to visit when your baby was finally born, but in the room? During the birth? Oh, he could faint right about now. “Of course I’ll be there, sugar. You know I wouldn’t miss it.” he replied, smiling at the thought of your birth.

Boothill then crouched down to meet your belly. He hadn’t ever done that before while being with you. You felt his hands touch your stomach, seemingly searching for your little girl who was somewhere in there. It felt so natural for him to be doing this. You didn’t feel off or weirded out. You loved the way his fingers explored your skin, touching and grazing at the stretch marks that had formed within time, but what you loved the most, was him.

“Can’t wait to meet your little one.. she’ll be a peach, I know it.” he looked up at you with a grin.

“Our.. little one.”

Boothill paused when the words slipped from your lips. He thought he had misheard you for a second. “W-What..?” his brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

You felt a little bashful having to repeat yourself. You weren’t sure what his reaction might be to you saying such a thing, but you couldn’t keep quiet anymore about your feelings. You wanted him involved in your daughter’s life so badly. It would kill you inside if that wasn’t the case. “O-Our.. baby, Boothill.” you said, avoiding his gaze that was fixed on you.

He stood up, still staring at your face with a serious expression. It was like his heart had completely blown up inside of his chest. It was like he was falling in love with you all over again at that very moment. He couldn’t feel more honored that you thought of him that way. “You’re serious..?” he questioned, looking into your eyes.

“Y-Yes.. god, yes, Boothill. I don’t care if she’s not technically yours.. in the end, I want you in her life, and mine too. I can’t imagine a life without you..” you whispered, intertwining your fingers with his.

He couldn’t hide his wide smile at your confession. All of the love he had swallowed down was now completely overflowing, and he didn’t mind whatsoever. You were so beautiful. He adored you so much, and he was more than happy to call you his girlfriend. He was also thrilled to have a daughter. He could care less if people would judge him for raising a child that wasn’t his. He was more of a father to her than any other man would be.

He suddenly pulled you close to him, pressing a kiss onto your lips. It was so passionate and loving. He couldn’t stop himself. It was like he was finally able to have what he wanted, and it felt amazing. “I love you so much, darling, you don’t even know how deep my love runs for you..” he pressed his forehead against your own. “I’d die for you and our little angel..”

A grin appeared on your face. This was all you ever wanted to hear. You didn’t think you would ever have the opportunity to hear him say such things, but you couldn’t be happier it was coming true. “I love you more, Boothill.” you then placed his hand on your belly. “And I know she does too..”

The both of you couldn’t be more excited at that moment. It was all perfect. You had everything you ever wanted. Neither of you imagined that this life would be in front of you now, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

#·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ official work !#boothill x reader #boothill x you #boothill x y/n #boothill fluff #boothill fanfiction #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #star rail x reader #star rail x you #hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr x y/n #hsr fluff #star rail fluff #honkai star rail fluff #honkai star rail fanfiction #hsr fanfic

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jennifer-jeong · 3 months ago

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haiii!! could I put in a request for boothill x an alcoholic engineer reader who’s personality takes a complete 180 when drunk? Like when sober they’re really quiet and a total introvert but when drunk they’re basically a party animal/super hype(the reason why they drink so much is because it helps them forget about their life problems like taxes and student loan debt, if I had to compare the reader’s personality to a character I’d say hiroi kikuri from bocchi the rock) but they’re like crazy smart when it comes to machines and stuff and even fixes up boothill from time to time

headcanons or a small fic is fine^^

HII I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I’ve just been out of the groove of writing for a bit but your request is so cute and I wanted to take a shot at it. Thank you for your request and I hope you like it!

Fluff + Suggestive | Boothill x GN!Reader A Few Drinks

CONTENT Fluff, suggestive, him flirting with you, you flirting with him, getting handsy, alcohol consumption, pet name usage, no reader pronouns used, CHARACTERS ARE 18+

WORD COUNT: 1227

It was a regular Friday afternoon in your personal workshop situated in your home on a planet not far off from Penacony and easily accessible via space anchors. The planet was mostly made up of plains, your house sat near a pond and was surrounded by grass and your tiny gardens that you filled with flowers and succulents. You were an excellent engineer working both for corporations as well as taking on smaller private contracts/projects occasionally. You were currently working on a specific cyborg’s finger joint, putting the finishing touches on the cybernetics before he came to have it attached to his robotic body.

You heard a familiar clicking of boots against the sidewalk to your open workshop door before an equally familiar greeting from the cyborg cowboy.

“Heya sweetheart, how ya been? Hows my dumb fudging finger treatin ya?” he chirped, his voice slightly grainy and robotic due to a lack of organic vocal chords.

You swivel around in your chair, giving him a small smile. “Your pinky was pretty messed up but I managed,” you replied quietly, a little anxious talking to the -handsome- man you knew killed people on the daily.

“Ah, ya always fix me up fine and dandy, I knew you’d be able to help,” he said as he walked towards your workbench.

You gave him a small chuckle at the praise and turned around to grab the fixed finger. “Thanks… now just have a seat on the-” you were cut off by turning slightly and being met with his face awfully close to yours. He had leaned over your shoulder to take a closer look at your work, his hands held behind his back.

Your eyes widened as you froze for a moment, unintentionally staring at him before looking away. He was looking at your work but when you turned away he took the opportunity to scan over your flustered self, grinning slightly at how cute you were.

You always treated him so sweetly, disregarding what he did for work because you knew about his past. How could he not find you adorable?

He pulled away to walk towards the table that doubled as an operating table when he or your other clients needed bigger fixes.

“Here?” he says knowingly.

You nod quickly before grabbing a few tools and setting up to attach the part back to his synthetic nervous system.

It was a painful few minutes of him watching you intently as you worked. He was sitting up, leaning back on his right hand, legs spread as he got comfy. His left hand was propped up into a sleeve to keep it still as you worked on it. You tried hard to not look up at him despite knowing he was staring down at you the entire time, probably with that teasing grin he always wore around you.

Once you were done and he finished paying you (with a generous tip no less), he suddenly wondered what you’d be doing since the work week just ended.

“So, whadda ya doin after closin’ up shop today? Ya ever go out for Friday happy hour?”

You whipped your head around to him at the mention of drinking before looking down at the ground, hoping you didn’t seem too eager to talk about alcohol.

“Y-yeah, I go every weekend,” you replied.

He raised an eyebrow and chuckled, “really? Ya didn’t really strike me as the drinkin’ type darlin’.”

You swallowed at his use of pet name.

“Yeah… it helps me get my mind off work and shit,” you shared with him, figuring it was fine to tell him about it since you already started to get to know each other pretty well during his visits. It was hard to explain, but you trusted him.

“Huh… Well, let’s fudgin’ go then!” He says, jumping off the table. “Lemme know when ya ready darlin”.”

“W-whoa there darlin’” Boothill says for the nth time after you two got to a vintage looking club in the city. You were stumbling a bit as he tried to prevent you from knocking anything over or getting yourself hurt. You kept bumping into him, grabbing onto his arms or his chest to stabilize yourself.

It was your turn to fluster the man.

After all the times he’d made you shy and bashful, him feeling your hands all over him in this context and not during some sort of repair procedure was really setting off his sensors.

You giggled in your drunken state and dragged him by his hand to the crowded dance floor. The current song was just ending and you heard the first few beats of one of your favorite songs. The crowd clearly also liked the song as you all started getting hyped. You started jumping and dancing in front of him as you held his shoulders. You even grabbed the attention of some nearby girls as they encouraged you and you did the same to them.

Boothill’s expression slowly morphed from curious shock to an endearing smirk as he laughed at your total 180 shift in personality as soon as you had a few drinks. His hands found your hips as you continued to dance all over him while he moved with the rhythm.

It was also in this moment that he realized exactly what you were wearing too, it was a pretty, skin tight top and ripped shorts, completely different from the baggy overalls and t-shirt you usually wore in the workshop.

He felt his body’s cooling system kick in a bit harder.

You noticed his eyes on you as you always did, but this time, with alcohol in your system, you decided to do something about it.

You pushed him into a nearby bar stool, forcing him to sit down and lean against the bar counter. You stood between his legs, hands on his chest as you leaned towards his face.

“Thanks for coming out with me Bootie~” you said with your eyes lidded, batting your eyelashes at him. His breath hitched at the sudden nickname usage that you’ve call him by before.

“I’ve been stressed about shit recently but this is fun” you giggle, “we should do it more often,” you add, looking him up and down, something he doesn’t miss.

He relaxes slightly, hands finding their place on your waist again as his signature grin comes out. You could tell he was still pretty flustered though, he was into it, but still a bit shy.

“You’re always looking at me like that, Bootie,” you say as you trace a finger on the underside of his jaw, making him look at you. “I don’t say it when I’m not drunk… but I hope y’know I don’t mind it,” you say with a smile and lidded eyes. Your finger trails off the bottom of his chin as he ever so slightly chases your touch.

You giggle again at his reactions to you, feeling a bit giddy knowing that he was as into you as you were into him.

You push off him to run back to the dance floor, calling out to him with the nickname you just gave him.

The cowboy adjusts his hat before blinking a few times, smiling, and exhaling the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He follows you back to the dance floor as he thinks “I’m fudged.”

|| MASTERLIST ♡ || Thank you for reading! ||

#boothill x reader #boothill fluff #boothill smut #honkai x reader #honkai fluff #hsr x reader #hsr fluff #star rail x reader #star rail fluff #j's silly ramblings

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bsverryin · 11 months ago

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what HSR men do to make you feel less lonely ﹒⪩⪨﹒

(Dan heng, Jing yuan, Blade, Gepard, Argenti, )

(for emotional readers out there)

Dan heng

If something's bothering you or he senses you're not okay, he'll drop everything to be with you for the day. Even if he has things to do, you become his top priority, and making you happy is his main mission. He showers you with words of comfort just to ensure you're okay though he's scared to say something wrong he's still trying for you, and if you're up for it, He would cuddle you any time of the day. As long as he sees that smile of yours again.

JING YUAN

When you're feeling down, he's quick to ask what you need and makes sure to send it your way. Even on days when he's tied up with work and you're feeling sad, you pop by his office out of the blue, holding onto him for comfort. No need for words; he gets the hint and starts gently running his fingers through your hair. You're free to open up about what's bothering you while you sit comfortably on his lap. It's his way of being there for you in the sweetest and simplest moments.

BLADE

He's ready to take on anyone who made you sad, no questions asked. When you're feeling down, he's quick to ask about what or who caused it. Yet, when it's about you, he softens up, letting you hold onto him as you rest your head on his shoulder. He reassures you that there's nothing wrong with you, and there's absolutely nothing he wants to change. Once he loves someone, he's all in – that's a promise he made to himself. You're not just anyone; you're the only one he will ever love, and that's a pledge he's sticking to.

GEPARD

He gives you long kisses and always tries his best to make you happy. Even though he's a bit shy around you, he doesn't want to do anything that might make him look silly in front of you. But, when you're feeling sad, he's ready to do whatever it takes to cheer you up. If that means being funny, he's up for it. And if you ever need a great friend who's good with words, he can be that too. He's like the all-in-one package designed just for you, doing everything in his power to keep that smile on your face.

ARGENTI

He's a master at saying just the right things to lift your spirits. Putting in his best effort to make you feel better, although it's almost effortless because simply being around him is so comforting. He wraps you up in hugs that come from every direction, making sure you're surrounded by warmth and care. Nestled between his arms, the love he feels for you shines through for every little thing about you.

(I don't know argenti well TT)

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nogenderbee · 2 months ago

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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔾𝕚𝕗𝕥 𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Hello! Could I request Argenti, Welt, Dan Heng, and Aventurine with a s/o who loves making them gifts?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hii! I don't write for Argenti or Aventurine so I just did the other two! But I think it turned out alright anyway so I hope you like it too!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ Welt immidietly liked how instead of buying a gift, you make it on your own!

✧ he'll probably try learning how to make handmade gifts himself so you could have a fair exchange between each other

✧ he doesn't mind giving gifts without occasion... in fact, it only adds to the meaning! He'll do his best to now instead of giving you bought flowers, to either give you origami ones or ones he collected himself

✧ you can already tell her takes your little gift giving quite seriously...

✧ his reaction to your gifts is always rather similar! He'll smile softly and thank you properly~ He'll also kiss your palm if his hands won't be busy

"It's absolutely stunning... Almost as stunning as you, dearest~ Thank you for this gift. I promise I'll take good care of it~"

✧ maybe he doesn't have dedicated shelf for your gifts... but he still keeps them safe!

✧ he just prefers to store your gifts in places he visits often. Just so he can have a quick glance at gift from his lover followed by soft smile as he remembers when and how you gave it to him~

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@vodka-glrl - come get your grandpa father of the express!

✧ honestly, Dan Heng always found hand made gifts slightly more meaningful than just bought ones

✧ so when his partner turns out to be the type to make those, it'll be rather hard for him to hide the gentle smile every time he receives one

✧ he's not used to being spoiled with gifts though, so if you're gonna give him those on daily basis and not just on holidays, he'll definitely have hard time getting used...

✧ it's not like he's mad though! He appreciates every gift he ever got from you and even has special shelf dedicated to only your gifts~

✧ you won't be able to read his happiness from his face or words usually though... he usually replies with simple "thank you", and it's pretty rare to see him smiling noticably

✧ but if you ever think he didn't like your gift because of your behavior, he'll turn by 180° and explain how much it actually matters to him

"That's not what I meant... I love it. It's great gift. I'll make sure to cherish it every time I wake up, I swear. It's amazing..."

✧ he'll be blushing like crazy after the speech though so please spare him and don't tease him about it...

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@miya-akane @toyaswif3y - come get your quiet but scary trabilazer!

#star rail #x reader #star rail x reader #hsr x reader #hsr #welt yang #welt #dan heng #dan heng x reader #welt x reader #welt yang x reader #star rail welt #star rail dan heng #star rail welt x reader #star rail dan heng x reader #fluff #star rail fluff #headcanons #star rail headcanons

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saetoru · 1 year ago

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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。12:06 AM — SAMPO KOSKI.

notes: friends/acquaintances to lovers, mutual pining but seemingly unrequited love, confessions (kind of lol), happy ending !!, not proof read and also idek if it’s in character but idk i just want to kiss him but he’s also rly punchable so we had to work with that okay

sampo is a bit shameless—it’s what anyone would tell you. personally, you would have to agree.

“so,” he drawls, “how about it, huh? you, me, a fancy little date—”

“no,” you interrupt—it’s immediate, your response, it comes through grit teeth. “you can forget it.”

“alright, alright,” he raises his hands in surrender, “no need to get all aggressive. the sampo koski will change your mind soon enough.”

you’ve lost count how many times he’s asked you this same question. maybe it’s admirable—the way he’s so persistent. maybe it’s dangerous—the way he always gets what he’s after. most people describe sampo koski as an added headache to the already difficult life of the underworld. he’s a bit too lively for his own good, you think. but you’d describe him as pretty words and perfect teeth and cologne that makes your head spin.

you hate it.

“there won’t be any mind changing,” you say promptly.

“oh, c’mon,” he insists, voice effortlessly honeyed and so painfully alluring. “what’s the worst that could happen, huh? we have a good time?” his lips curl into that smile if his. you swallow and look away.

a lot, you want to say. the worst that can happen is a lot.

and it’s easy, you think—to reach over and fix that strand of hair that’s fallen to the wrong side of his face. it’s easy to bump shoulders with him or turn and brush your noses together and feel his hot breath as he exhales.

but that would be toying with overstepping dangerous boundaries, boundaries that are very much set in place by yourself for your own sake. sampo has saved you one too many times from a hard spot—but he’s always managed to disappear just when you think he’s reliable too. he’s too good at bending things in his favor, a little too good at getting what he wants out of everything.

it’s not hard to think what he wants from you—and it’s not hard to imagine him disappearing once again once he’s got it. the difference is you think this time…well, you think this time might just crush you.

“sampo, do you want me to punch you?” you huff, crossing your arms.

it’s late. you’re not sure why he’s gone out of his way to walk you home, but he does and you’re a tad bit grateful. you’d rather not run into a vagrant on your way—and if you do, that’s happily sampo’s problem now.

there’s something about it, about the way he’s dedicated only when there’s something to gain out of it, about the way he’s so sweet and charming as he butters you up with his actions, about the way his smile is gentle around the corners just perfectly to crack your resolve.

he’s so good at what he does—and so painfully bad for your heart. your poor, fragile heart that’s so carefully locked away from his awaiting hand. you think to give it to him would be to hand the devil your soul and trust it’s safety.

you’re not so foolish.

“hey, we’re pals, you and i,” he nudges you with his shoulder. the contact is enough to make your breath pause. “how can you be so cruel?”

there’s a pout on his lips. a perfectly rehearsed, theatrical and conniving pout on his lips that’s meant to add to his charm and chip away at your composure until you give him exactly what he’s after. for a moment, you debate whether or not you’d rather just take on a vagrant or deal with the (very attractive) disaster next to you.

“we’re acquaintances at best,” you purse your lips. “very faintly acquainted acquaintances at that.”

“well that’s just mean,” he gasps, “after all the business deals we’ve had together? i thought i’d be on your good side by now.”

that’s all you think he sees anything as. a good business opportunity. maybe he’s a good friend—he never leaves you for dead and he never really lets you down when you need him most, but perhaps that’s for his own benefit at the end. how else can you have connections if they’re all dead? but you don’t think intimacy is a word sampo uses in his every day vocabulary—much less his every day routine.

“sampo,” you snap, “drop it.”

“hey,” he eyes you, “everything alright?”

you hate that he acts like that—like he cares as his lips curl into that soft frown and his eyes gloss over in concern. it’s so carefully crafted, that mask of his, the one he can turn on to mimic every emotion he might need to fool you that he really cares and he really wants to know if you’re okay.

and you’re not—but he doesn’t need to know that.

“everything would be fine if you quit asking for your stupid date,” you grumble, “cross me off your list for the day.”

he stops walking. you kick yourself for immediately noticing the lack of warmth as soon as he’s not beside you anymore.

“what?”

it’s a simple question. one word. one syllable. yet it says so much. the hurt in his voice, the genuine confusion, the slight shock and the underlying betrayal.

“why’d you stop walking,” you raise a brow, “it’s late and i’m tired—”

“you’re changing the subject,” he cuts you off, “what do you mean list?”

“c’mon sampo, let’s not play this game tonight,” you sigh, “i’m really tired.”

“and what game are we playing?”

“the game of playing dumb,” you snap, and this time, there’s a bit more bite to your words, “the game of asking around to worm your way into everyone’s pants.”

“everyone’s pants? i didn’t know sampo koski had such a reputation,” he chuckles in that playful way of his—but there’s no charm this time, just dryness. “i didn’t know you believed it too.”

“so what am i supposed to believe? that you want to go on a date for fun?”

“that’s usually what people do on dates,” he shrugs, “have fun with people they like.”

he looks a bit wounded. it makes your heart bleed and you don’t like it. his shoulders are slumped and his eyes aren’t looking directly into yours for once—it’s like you’ve peeled off that confidence he wears like a second skin and left something a lot more tender and raw underneath.

something a lot easier to sting with the burn of rejection.

admittedly, you never thought you’d see the day where you’d feel bad for sampo after your rejection. you always thought you’d feel bad for yourself—saying no to everything you want but can’t ever really have. but he makes you feel like he wanted it too….that he’s been craving you just as badly as you’ve been craving him all this time.

“what are you—”

“listen, i….” and then he trails off. like he doesn’t have the right words. like he doesn’t know what he wants to say and has everything he wants to get off his chest all at the same time. like he needs you to know what’s on his mind. in the end, he plasters a grin on his face—one that’s tight and forced as he chuckles, “let’s get ya home, yeah? sampo koski will have you delivered to your door in once piece in no time—”

“sampo,” you sigh, “what do you want from me?”

there’s defeat in your voice. maybe hope. definitely caution.

“a date,” is all he says. “i’ve only ever asked you,” he adds, “if that’s what you’re worried about. no side deals or anything.”

that last part comes with another chuckle that really has no humor at all. it’s dry and empty and maybe even a little bitter.

“look, i appreciate the dedication, but i’d rather not be that fun hook up on the side that—”

“hey! that’s just harsh,” he gasps, “you’d think so lowly of sampo koski? after everything we’ve been through?”

sampo is good at one thing—playing the ever dedicated, ever conniving, ever charming business man. he knows how to lace in sweet words and tempting offers like how the devil whispers sins into your ears. he never cracks, never lets that facade fall even when he’s backed into a corner.

except this time, you don’t think it’s a facade. you think it’s a wall to keep you from noticing the pure heartbreak in his eyes.

it fills you with guilt instantly. it makes you almost hate yourself for not seeing good in him. it makes you feel blind for not noticing all the signs he’s been dropping for so long—signs you know he’s never given anyone else.

who else does he bump shoulders with and walk home in the dark and flick foreheads and make time for even when he’s on a tight schedule? who else gets to hear him talk about his day for just the sake of talking without and not a guise for a deal?

for a second you feel bad—and then you decide that for once, you’ll do something about it.

“sampo koski is always disappearing,” you say softly, taking a step forward, “what if he disappears this time too?”

“sampo koski always comes back,” he reminds you, heart on his sleeve as he meets you half way.

“always?” you ask hopefully.

he nods, like it’s the surest thing he’s promised. “of course.”

“okay, sampo,” you chuckle breathlessly, whether in joy or in disbelief, you’re unsure. maybe both. your hand cups his cheeks and when he leans into it, you decide it’s definitely both. “let’s go on your date. you’re paying.”

“you didn’t have to bring money into it,” he pouts—but the excitement in his voice is almost tangible.

you giggle, squeeze his cheeks together as his hands find your waist. it’s dark and it’s late and you’re tired—but sampo koski is here and nothing else has ever mattered more.

“i expect only the best date from the sampo koski.”

“good,” he grins, charming as ever, a little extra only for you, “because sampo koski never disappoints.”

you kiss him after that. and every day too.

i have been bewitched by the meathead guys 😔

#tee star rail debut ?? i thought my first piece would be blade but it’s taking me 8274 years to meet him. never expected sampo but good god #he gets you when you least expect it #sampo x reader #sampo x you #sampo fluff #sampo koski x reader #sampo koski x you #sampo koski fluff #star rail x reader #star rail x you #star rail fluff #hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr fluff #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail fluff #teepods.writings #drabbles.

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dumplingsfordays · 1 year ago

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thigh lover!gepard hcs

thigh lover!gepard x gn!reader

genre - fluff

cw!: super fluffy, geppie loves ur thighs (and u <3), implied relationship

note - bro I am such a firm believer in thick thighs save lives. because they do!! yours saved geppie's, I have proof... I'm totally so normal about him right

and as always, thank you for reading!!

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

thigh lover!gepard who adores the softness and plushness of your thighs.

thigh lover!gepard who gives them a nice squeeze once in a while if you're near each other. in public, it's a way to show others that you're his, and in private, he does it to express his undying love for you.

thigh lover!gepard who practically melts when you run your fingers through his hair as he's laying on your thighs. he likes using them as a pillow in general, but it's just so much better if you're giving headpats or massages.

thigh lover!gepard who loves when you wear shorts/short skirts (but only for him). your beautiful thighs are on full display so he can never get too angry at someone if their eyes linger a little too long on your legs - he'll still give them a dirty glare when you're not looking.

thigh lover!gepard who buries his head between them (in a non-sexual manner ofc) after he's had a long day. They're just so warm and inviting, how could he resist using them as his favorite earmuffs?

thigh lover!gepard who adores it when you sit on his lap. he really likes to sleep under weighted blankets and such, so no matter if you're heavy or light or somewhere in-between, he'll still find heaven when your legs wrap around his waist and you hug him like you're holding on to a tree trunk.

thigh lover!gepard who can't ever seem to express in entirety how much he truly loves you. maybe a thigh massage will help get that message across? it's a win-win scenario as well - he'll get to feel and caress your soft skin and you'll get to relax.

thigh lover!gepard who wholeheartedly believes that thick thighs save lives <3

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

#honkai star rail #hsr #honkai #fluff #gepard #gepard hsr #gepard x gender neutral reader #gepard x you #gepard x reader #gepard x y/n #gepard fluff #hsr gepard #gepard star rail #star rail fluff #aaaaa hes so pretty i cant #hes so <33 #pretty boy frfr #hsr x you #hsr x reader

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giamee · 1 year ago

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𝐅𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔!

ཐི♡ཋྀ featuring -> luocha, blade, dan heng, jing yuan, gepard landau, welt yang

ཐི♡ཋྀ contains -> soulmate!au, no warnings just fluff (?) and maybe a bit suggestive for welt. ALSO LUOCHA'S IS SO ANGSTY AND FOR WHAT IDK IM SORRY

ཐི♡ཋྀ gia's notes -> ok so you know that soulmate au thing where the moles on ur body are where ur lover in a past life kissed you the most? yeah. i opened star rail for the first time in like 2 weeks today cos i rage quit after getting silver wolf while trying to build pity for luocha and then i did the story quest thingy and brainrot happened. sorry for being gone for so long. have this <3 (ppl who requested stuff two months ago i see you i hear you i'm just a slow writer)

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ LUOCHA has a particularly noticeable mole on the right side of his neck. with his high collar and serious expression, that remains another guarded secret of his that is privy to only his own searching eyes, a secret that raises colour in his cheeks at the insinuation of its placement.

having spent more time around the dead than the living these past few months, love and human connection is not exactly an occurence that can happen naturally within his profession.

and for the most part, that's alright.

yet there are some lonely nights where luocha finds his gloved fingertips grazing the dark spot on his neck, wishing that he could be graced with the same tenderness in this life that he had received in his previous one. if he closed his eyes and concentrated hard enough, he could almost feel the ghostly brush of a pair of lips against his cool skin, the feathery sensation sending a soft shiver down his spine, accompanied by the distant giggle of a past lover in his ear before it slips his grasp and he rolls onto his side in frustration.

that damned spot might as well be placed directly over his heart, considering the amount of influence it held over him.

he could only hope that his dreams tonight would reunite him with the figure that haunts his conscious mind too now, and continue his fruitless search to find them once again in his waking realm.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ BLADE has moles on his chest and back littered amidst the scars that mar his porcelain skin. always a skeptic, the man has never been one to believe in the fanciful stories of soulmates destined to be, sneering in the face of such notions as fate, preferring to keep his head resolutely on his shoulders and feet planted on the ground.

and in some sense, he's right.

because when he met you, in this current life, you joined him in his rejection of a perfect other half. and then, slowly but surely, you had wormed your way into his heart, and his insistence on not having any such thing as a soulmate seems like such a flimsy rebuttal to the way you gaze at him in adoration, fingers trailing in your lips' wake as they brush over each individual mark on his chest.

he tries not to shiver when he feels your warm lips descend upon the skin of his back, your fingers tracing the faded marks that depict his life story with a silent promise that you'll be there for him, and to count every mark on his skin with tender care.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ DAN HENG often finds himself staring in wonder at the moles which litter his arms. starting from his wrists, there is a dusting of them that creeps all the way up to his shoulders, placed upon his skin with such deliberate care that it's almost a foreign concept to him.

in the later hours of the night, he allows himself to muse over the possibility of a soulmate, a lover in a past life destined to find him again, trying to solve the mystery of their identity by peering at his arms as if their face is etched into them.

and when he meets you, he feels breathless all over again as your hands interlink with his own, clasping them so fervently that lightning practically runs up his spine as your lips reunite with his skin, once again staking their claim as you make your way from his wrists to the rest of his body.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ JING YUAN bears his mark with pride, the distinct spot residing comfortly underneath his eye, attracting his attention to it every time he paises to study his reflection.

he wouldn't call himself a vain man, so he appraises that one mole before continuing on with his day, but it's not until you have his face cupped in your palms, and your eyes study his features with an intensity he had not felt until now, that you mention that he has two other moles on his face, albeit fainter.

and you make a point of reaffirming their existence at every chance you get, with you and jing yuan's morning routine involving your lips brushing against the faint mole on the apple of his cheek and bridge of his nose before landing a last one underneath his eye.

those only serve as a mere guidline, though, as you do not hesitate to pepper the rest of his unblemished face with kisses as your symbol of affection.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ GEPARD does not know what to think of the moles that litter his collarbones. they're rather prominent, and if he lets himself think about them for too long, he'll start blushing.

even the thought of someone kissing him there makes his brain short circuit, so the sensation is definitely one that he will have to get used to with you.

the slightly sadistic part of you revels in the way his blushing face hides itself behind his hands when you kiss him on those marks, a muffled boyish giggle escaping his lips at the ticklish sensation of your lashes brushing against his skin when you lay your head against his chest.

you decide to place a few additional marks for his next life when you kiss the backs of his hands, until your lover relents and reveals his face to you once more, letting you place a final tender kiss to his lips.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ WELT finds the little triangle of moles on his hipbone more humorous than anything. there's a certain intimacy to their placement that surpasses the more innocent and easily visible marks a person may have been granted by their soulmate, and he fonds himself wondering what kind of person his soulmate is for there to be the most frequent place they kiss.

and it's a pleasant surprise, really, as to how right it feels when you see those marks yourself and giggle, continuing their tradition by dropping a kiss to each in quick succession before grinning up at him with a smile so endearing that welt finds himself desperately committing the scene to memory.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 IF YOU LIKED THIS, TRY: bound 2 fall in love!

honkai star rail masterlist ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

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haruchuiyo · 1 year ago

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Everlasting love

being a princess means select people for you to fall in love with, but what if you love the man who’s sworn to protect you?

content: royal au + princess x bodyguard + fluff + kind of poetic (i hope so lmfao) + more fluff + established friendship + requited love + even more fluff + slight angst + fem!reader + kisses + slightly suggestive + jing yuan’s so incredibly desperately in love with you

word count: a little over 6k (this fic had no reason to be so long but it’s a fast read I promise!!)

this fic is very self indulgent so I wrote whatever I felt like so lots of stuff isn’t gonna make sense lol

—

It feels silly to do what you’re doing, hiking up a grassy hill while holding onto your dress so you don’t trip, all the while your white haired bodyguard is trailing silently behind you a few steps away. The grass was cut evenly and was muddy from the rain earlier this morning.

You weren’t actually allowed to go out but time to time, rules gets disobeyed by you and you do what you want to do. Although your bodyguard hesitated in stopping you when he saw you put on your walking boots. But who was he to say no? You were the princess of the kingdom after all and he is just a mere bodyguard assigned to guard your well-being. At all times.

The first time you saw him was through your window in your bedroom at night. You heard the horses neighing, the carriages stopping in their strides and distinct deep voices speaking. As curious as you were, you look down from your window and see the king’s guards in their uniform. A particular figure caught your attention with his interesting long white hair. Feeling as though he was being watched, he looks up and your eyes meet. Your eyes slightly widen in surprise when he sends you a smile your way. And you hastily hide yourself away from view.

The first time you met him, he had a gentle neutral expression on his pretty face. He was tall, had long strides when he walked, and he gently held your hand while kissing your knuckles when greeting you. When he spoke up and called you ‘your highness’, and introduced himself as Jing Yuan and your new bodyguard, you felt puzzled with the way your heart pounded against your chest. This was the first time you properly met the behemoth of a man in front of you. And all you wanted to do was leave. Bodyguards are tiresome and they’re on your beck and call every moment of the day without fail. It’s tiresome. Definitely why you felt puzzled because of your increased heartbeat.

Standing atop the hill, the wind was cold but you felt warm below your garments. You look behind you, sure to say jing yuan was behind you.

“It feels nice doesn’t it?” He was looking at you away from the scenery in front. He smiles gently and slightly nods. “It sure does, my lady.” He replies and you smile at him back.

“It is very nice actually, this is my favorite spot did you know?” You ask again while looking at the scenery, taking in the view with a smile on your face.

“It’s my first time hearing of it actually but I keep that in mind, princess.” You giggle at the name he called you.

“And it’s my first time hearing you call me something else aside from ‘my lady’” you retort, lightly mimicking jing yuan at how he says ‘my lady’.

You see his eyes slightly widen in surprise before he took steps in front of you with lowering his head.

“I apologize, my lady, i didn’t know I was out of line.” He hastily speaks up and you chuckle at that.

“It’s because you aren’t out of line, jing yuan.” You gently say before speaking up. “It’s quite nice to be called something else than my lady although it’s the title of my current status.” You lightly giggle at your own words as you kneel down to pluck a flower from the grass.

You see how it’s a pink bluebell, which surprises you because there aren't a lot of them on this hill. You were gonna speak up about it when you realized you were looking down at the flower too long, and also the fact that Jing yuan was quiet. You look up at him and see how he’s looking at you.

The look in his eyes was gentle, thoughtful and of something else that you can’t quite put a name on. And then he flashes you his usual gentle smile. “I keep that in mind as well.” He speaks up, before adding with a glint in his eyes. “Princess.” And you giggle at that which makes him smile even more. His smile has you momentarily glance at the pink bluebell before looking back at him. Your hearts pounding faster against your ribcage.

—

“Let’s go horseback riding today as activities, shall we?” You speak up at the dinner table, directing your words towards jing yuan. Your father is looking at you with a questionable face as if he couldn’t believe your words. Jing yuan was surprised himself but was better at hiding it.

“Surely you can take the carriage?” He asks and you shake your head while cutting into your food. “Take the carriage where? Horseback riding it is.” You say with a tone that your decision is final. You look up from your food at Jing yuan, who’s standing at a corner close to you. And when your eyes meets, you send him a big smile his way and he reacted with a slight smile as well along with a small bow to his head.

And here you are standing in front of a horse like it’s the first time you’re seeing the creature.

“Is everything alright, my lady?” You hear jing yuan’s familiar voice from behind you.

“I don’t know how to ride a horse.” You simply say and jing yuan turns quiet. You look behind you and see how he’s getting down from his own horse.

“A moment, please.” He says before walking away with his horse. Coming back a few moments later alone.

“It’s been decided I ride with you.” He simply says.

“On the same horse?” You ask.

“On the same horse.” He repeats finally.

And he helps you up on the saddle, your dress puffs up in front of you which you grin at because it simply looks so silly. And then you lightly squeal when you feel jing yuan hopping up on the saddle behind you. You feel his arms go around your body and your heart pounds faster. Your body feels hotter when you feel his firm chest pressed up against your back.

“Hold onto this tightly, princess.” He says by your ear and you turn loss of words and simply nod your head. His voice was soothingly deep and it almost sent your brain into shambles. You hold the reins and you feel warmer inside when you see how Jing yuan’s holding the reins as well along with you.

“It’s a bit cramped.” You blurt out and jing yuan chuckles. “Nothing to do about that now, is there?” At his words you chuckle before you squeal again when the horse starts walking.

“This surprised me.” You say after calming down. “Feels quite nice actually. You’re a good rider.” You add in.

“Been riding since I could walk.” He simply says and you giggle. “You merely jest, I’m sure I couldn’t even talk when I took my first steps.” And at that, jing yuan laughs and you decide you like the sound of it.

“Alright princess, wanna go a little faster?” He asks and you widen your eyes in excitement. “Who am I to say no? Of course I want to.” You chimed and jing yuan nudges the horse with his heels and the horse’s speed increases.

That makes you laugh in delight, at the speed and how good it makes you feel and excited. You look up at the sky, feeling the breeze on your face and breathe in the fresh air with your eyes closed, not realizing you leaned your head back against Jing Yuan’s shoulder.

“This feels so nice.” You say happily, opening your eyes and getting a closer view of Jing Yuan’s face. He quickly tilts his head to meet yours and your faces was inches apart.

“Eyes on the road, princess.” He announces, looking at you and you giggle. “You’re the one who’s controlling the reins of the horse.” And at that, he grins at you. “Touché.” He simply says, still grinning while looking away at you.

Only now did you properly process how close your faces were and how it made you feel. Nervous, curious, especially at things you shouldn’t feel curious about your own bodyguard. And also over the moon, because it also felt nice to have him this close in this proximity.

Little did you know the man himself felt the same. How he wishes to actually properly hold you. Infuriating how he could only put his arms around your frame to hold the reins, but not your body to his. His heart beats faster when you laugh at his jests, when you show him your pretty smiles, smiles he sleeps and wakes thinking of. How your eyes seem to glisten in happiness when he steps into your view. No matter what side of the bed he wakes up on, whatever emotions he’s feeling, as soon as he sees you his entire day is made for the better.

He feels satisfied and content at how your head is still on his shoulder and he signals the horse to slow down and the horse starts to walk calmly.

“I didn’t like you at the beginning.” He hears you speak up. He raises his brow but his hearts is racing and his minds jumping to conclusions.

“What do you mean by that, my lady?”

“I simply did not like you because you were a bodyguard. Mine especially. Didn’t like anyone being just steps away from me all the time, every moment of the day. It felt suffocating.” You admit to him, tilting your head to the side of his neck, Jing yuan swears he could feel your lips brushing his neck and it’s taking every restraint in him to not react and move.

“I see why you didn’t like me.”

“I do like you now.” At your simple bold words, his bloods rushed and his heart rates piqued. He unknowingly made the horse stop in its tracks hastily, which had you almost falling back on the ground before jing yuan caught you with his arm.

For the second time of the day, your faces are inches apart and your eyes are widened in surprise.

“I mean I do like you.” You repeat. And jing yuan eyes widens at your second confession. Or was it really a confession.

“Princess, I’m not sure I understand the meaning behind your words.” He sounds breathless. He watches how your lips open and closes, unsure of what to say.

“I didn’t mean it like that way.” You blurt out. “And of what way do you speak of?” He asks again.

“I’m not sure I can speak of what I actually mean, I’m so confused myself.” You tell him and he hears how your voice wavers. And I’m sure his eyes are as hectic as yours, looking all over each others face.

“I apologize, my lady.”

“Why do you always go back and forth between calling me ‘my lady’ and ‘princess’?”

You ask him. And now it’s his turn to be loss of words. “And stop apologizing when you haven’t done anything wrong.” You remark gently but sternly.

“I apologize. A force of habit, princess.”

“And there you go again.” You say and he smiles lightly.

“What can I say?”

“A force habit that as well?”

“You might be right.”

And you haven’t spoken of what transpired that day. Yet.

—

“I’m not interested in being wed to the prince, father.”

Your father, the king, sighs as he rubs his temples at your defying attitude. You merely send him an angry look his way and when your eyes meet jing yuan’s, you simply wanted to cry your heart out at the frustration you felt. Of being wed, to not have your own choice of who you want to marry and the feeling of your freedom slipping away, slowly by slowly.

“You are to simply get to know him, not to be wed.” Your father stated and you let out a dry chuckle.

“And at the end of the day, you’re gonna have me wed to a man I do not want nor love.” You retort back before walking away, ignoring your father calling for you. You continue to walk, knowing jing yuan is on your path behind you.

“My lady.” You hear him call for you when you arrive at the doors of your suite. You stand still and turn to look at him. “Yes?” You answer, pretending to look fine but failing miserably. You see how jing yuan’s eyes look dismayed at your apparent displeasure.

“Do you wanna go to your spot?” He asks and you feel a little of your displeasure slowly lift off your mind.

“I’d love to.”

The moment you arrived your favorite hill with jing yuan, your heart felt light and content. Emotions surges over you when you see pink bluebells once more. Why they grow on this hill, you have no idea but you’re not complaining.

“That flower is beautiful.” You hear jing yuan say and you look up at him with a smile. You pluck the pink bluebell and raise it in the air, placing the flower beside jing yuan’s head. You close one eye as if to observe him from a binocular.

“What are you doing?” Jing yuan chuckles at your antics.

“Just observing how beautiful the flower are, of course.” You say with a big smile and jing yuan feels his heart skip. He thought of the day he asked for the meaning of the flower from the royal gardener. And what you just did now, he feels his blood rush and lovely feelings come over him.

—

The day the prince from the neighbouring kingdom arrived, you detested him right away. He wasn’t kind to the servants, simply looking you up and down before showing you a pretend happy smile. You felt revulsion when he grabbed your hand to greet you with a kiss to your knuckles.

While he was doing that, you looked at jing yuan who was standing beside you and you simply did a face to show your annoyance. He merely replied with a smile before glancing at the prince and back at you, you took that as a signal to look away from jingyuan to the prince.

The days after that, every walk after breakfast and luncheon, you had to take it with the prince. You dreaded those walks every day and would rather have them with the wall of your bedroom, than with the prince who only seemed to be interested in himself.

On a sunny day, fortunately, the prince didn’t come along as he complained of an apparent headache. You were able to take a walk alone with Jing yuan.

While walking in front of you, you suddenly slowed down, making jing yuan bump into you from behind. You giggle when you hear him slightly gasp.

“Are you alright, princess?” He asks worriedly as if a slight bump to your body will damage you. You giggle again. “Couldn’t be more alright.” You answer and you see how his shoulder seems to relax.

“Take a walk beside me, will you? I quite missed our time alone.” You confess honestly and jing yuan’s face shows evident surprise at the sound of your words before he nods. “Always at your request, my princess.”

After walking for a quite a moment, you glance at the man beside you, whos silently holding onto his sword at his hip in his holster, face looking straight ahead of him, his hair fluttering along with the wind. You kept looking even if he turned to look at you. As he does that, you smile at him.

Jing yuan felt his body warm up at your smile and the way you were looking at him. He wished he could take this walk with you closer without a single distance, while holding your hands and not as your bodyguard but something more. But that is something he could only dream and think of.

“The other day, I was being honest.” He hears you speak up, still smiling but looking straight in front of you as you walked. “About liking you.” You softly add in. Jing Yuan holds his sword holster a tad too hard.

“I’m your bodyguard princess, I’m afraid we can’t be anything more.” He detests himself for saying that, but it’s only the truth. Even if the truth hurts. He sees you smiling sadly at the ground before looking up at him, widening your smile. But he knew it wasn’t genuine by how your eyes seemed to glisten in tears.

“Even so, I’m not saying I don’t feel the same way.” And now it was your turn to get surprised. And he sees how your eyes wavers in shock and dejection at the same time. Because as he mentioned before, you two can’t be anything more than a princess and her bodyguard.

“It’s frustrating.” You admit ruefully as you try not to let your tears fall. You smile sadly at him while holding back your tears. You see how Jing yuan steps closer to you, hesitating to make a move only to not do it. You were gonna speak up before you hear footsteps behind you, and there is the prince you don’t wanna marry.

You give the man you love one last smile before putting on a false happy front for the prince.

—

Ever since that day, everything felt normal but wasn’t the same.

Jing Yuan feels his heart ache each and every time he sees the prince from the neighbouring kingdom gets close to you, gets to stand next to you. His legs wants to walk and stand beside you, hands itches to touch you and his heart wants to be with you every moment of the day.

Today was a small ball your father hosted for only nearest relatives.

Your beauty is infinite and you’re indescribably pretty in your ball gown. And jing yuan couldn’t take his eyes off you at any moment. At some moment of when you were dancing with the prince, your eyes met and he sees you do a shy smile and he swear he felt his cheeks and body heat up.

You swear you saw jing yuan fidget in the spot he was standing at when you smiled at him. And your heart flutters at the thought of the effect you have on the man who’s sworn to protect your life.

The dance was over and you feel a presence behind you. Turning around as you let go off the prince, you see Jing Yuan.

“May I have the pleasure of your next dance, princess?” His voice was of a gentle tone, mellifluous to your ears. He gives you a soft smile as you nod your head. “You may.” You accept his offer with a mix of a shy and delighted tone. You don’t miss how the prince eyes the both of you. So you turn to look at him.

“I had a lovely dance, your highness.” You state smoothly and the prince does a slight bow. “As did I, princess.” He simply says before walking away, not before eyeing jing yuan down as if he was a threat to your presence.

The orchestra starts a new melody and you feel Jing Yuan’s hand on your waist and his other holding your hand. You place your unoccupied hand at his shoulder.

Your fingers touches the nape of his neck and you feel your body get pulled closer into his. You smile as you waltz the floor with him. Jing Yuan closes his eyes when he feels you softly massage his nape and you resisted in your entire body to not place your cheek on his sternum.

A moment into the waltz, you feel his hand at your waist slightly hold you tighter and you look up at him. Your eyes meet and his eyes were mesmerising. And you give out a subtle gasp when you feel his hand slip lower down your waist. You see the decisions from on jing yuan’s face and you wanted to stop him before he did what he did.

“Thank you for the dance, my lady. Have a lovely evening.” He shortly says before leaving you alone on the dance floor. Him leaving has you thinking you should look at your father and you did.

His face showed he knew it all.

—

That same night, jing yuan got to his suite and took his suit off. He loosens his bow tie and rolls up his sleeves. He looks around his room in frustration while gripping his hair. Frustrated at the fact he ruined your moment too early, he shouldn’t have touched you so intimately without your consent about it. He saw how your eyes looked frantic before he was about to excuse himself. And the way your expression fell when he did excuse himself. But something about the touch felt so right and for him. You felt right to him and with him.

Feeling like he needs to take a walk to settle down, he grabs his suit jacket and opens the door, almost walking into you.

When he sees you there hiding under a large mantle, your face hidden by the hood. Your eyes met him and jing yuan doesn’t waste a second to pull you into his room before anyone sees you.

“My lady, you shouldn’t be here.” He mentally hit himself for that statement. He just pulled you inside. “I know.” You simply say, pulling down your hood.

This close proximity with you has his mind and body in shambles. You’re alone with him in his bedroom. Alone. Whatever could happen and if it does, he won’t stop it. He won’t excuse himself again and leave you dejected and disappointed.

“You should leave.” He says and you take a step forward.

“Would it be different between us if I were not a princess?” You ask softly, standing in front of him.

“No, not any closer. I beg you, have mercy on me.” He says while ignoring your question, almost begging and your heart aches.

“I apologize, I shouldn’t have crossed your boundaries.” His own heart aches at the tone of dejection in your voice.

You understand his reluctance to be close to you. Maybe you shouldn’t have decided to come here. You’re putting jing yuan in trouble if anyone saw you at his door. You wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if something were to happen to him. You look behind him and see his window, there is a cup of water with pink bluebells resting in it. Your heart aches for him. You turn around and were facing the front door in jing yuan’s room and was about to pull the hood over your face, before your entire body gets turned around.

His hands holds your face, he looks at you momentarily before his lips presses down against your own. Your eyes welled up in tears. This felt right. Your arms wrap around his torso, gripping the back of his clothes and you feel his other hand trail down your spine before drawing your body closer to his.

Your breasts flattens against his chest and you wrap your arms around his torso tighter. Your lips move leisurely against each other. He pulls away slightly.

“I’d still follow you around even if you were not a princess. Because I wanted to, not because I’m your bodyguard on duty.” He confesses as he brushes his lips against your jaw, moving up to softly peck the tip of your nose. You hum in content at his kisses while your heart increases its beat at his words. At his answer to your question from before.

He leans in closer again, kissing you. An unhurried kiss, with wants and longings for you, as if the time of the world is in your palms.

Jing Yuan’s lips were soft and smooth against yours. Lips working leisurely against your lips before he angles his head to deepen the kiss. You feel him guide your hands around his neck before he holds your own, for more deeper kisses.

A sweet little noise leaves your mouth when you feel him swipe his tongue over your lips to stroke yours, as if your mouth is molded for him and his kisses. He softly strokes the pulse point below your jaw, the pace of the kiss is slow yet agonizing. You want more of this man.

You feel his hands lift off from your neck, trailing down your spine before gently grasping the back of your thighs through your mantle. As if reflexively, your legs circle around his waist when he lifts you off the ground, pinning you against his front door.

You’re breathless when he pulls away, so is he but he isn’t stopping anytime soon. He presses soft chaste kisses down your jaw, to your pulse point and throat while you go catch your breath.

It is when you feel him lick your shoulder blade that everything comes back to you. He continues to nibble having you softly moaning, before he bites down gently, leaving a slight mark.

“Jing yuan.” The way you call out his name so desperately and so beautifully, he knows you have his entire body and soul bewitched and in the grasp of your palm.

“I love you, I can’t imagine a day not seeing your beautiful smile and ever making you feel sad. I hate myself for it everytime I see you so dejected. When you're in pain, it hurts my heart.” He presses kisses on your throat desperately. You softly whine out his name.

“I love you dearly, my heart. Infinitely.”

—

You’ve been fidgeting the entire day, ever since you saw that there’s another soldier to guard you instead of jing yuan. You pace back and forth in your room before you decide to do something and find him.

Your first thought was to go to the royal court room, your father is usually in there. And when you get there, your fathers guard announces your arrival.

“Father, what happened to—“ you cut yourself off when you see your father looking down at jing yuan. Who was kneeling on one knee in front of your father. Your hearts racing in fear at the sight of man you love in such a vulnerable position in front of your father, the king.

“What is the meaning of this?” You hear your voice waver.

“Do you swear on what you said, son?” Son? Why is your father calling jing yuan that way? Your mind in tatters and you don’t know what to make off the scene in front of you.

“Yes sir, I do.” Jing Yuan answers as he bows his head. And the moment you see the king pull out his sword from his holster, your hearts a mess and you immediately run in front of jing yuan.

“What is the meaning of this?” You repeat your question, your tone belligerent and glaring at your father this time. You grip onto jing yuan from behind you with your left hand, while your other fist clenched by your right side.

“It is alright, my heart.” You hear jing yuan say from behind you, you look away and turn away from your father. “It is alright.” He repeats gently, his eyes are looking all over you with soft glint to them. You shake your head as you kneel in front of jing yuan, holding his face.

“I cant let him hurt you, you didn’t do anything wrong.” There’s tears forming in your eyes and you see jing yuan smile at you, before chuckling a little. He reaches his hands out and gently holds your face as well.

“He won’t hurt me, in fact you just interrupted something, my heart.” He slightly grins at you while stroking your cheeks with each of his thumb. There’s confusion evident on your face and when you look up at your father.

“You have indeed interrupted something, my sweet daughter.” Your father says, his tone has a lighthearted tone to it. You furrow your brows and your father laughs.

“If you don’t mind, please do step away.” He says and you hesitantly step away but not before you give a kiss on jing yuan’s lips. His eyes widens in surprise and when you look at your father again, he seems surprised too at your boldness.

“Don’t hurt him.” Your words are final. And your father seemed to understand it. “I’ve got no intention to do so.” He says before looking at jing yuan again.

“Jing Yuan, soldier of the king's guard. Do you swear to protect the kingdom in case of emergency and war?” Your fathers voice was booming. Your heart races faster when you hear Jing Yuan say he swear and your father taps his sword on his right shoulder. Jing Yuan swears once more at your fathers words and the next thing he says, you clutch the front of your dress and you see Jing Yuan smile as he looks down at the ground.

“And lastly, do you swear to love my daughter, princess of the kingdom, through life and death, every moment of your life?”

“I swear.” You don’t know what you feel aside from relief at the fact jing yuan is not hurt and the way your heart seemed to surge with love for him.

The moment the sword finishes tapping his shoulder, you hastily run up to jing yuan and he hastily holds you into his embrace, his arms tightly wrapped around your body and yours around his neck. He burrows his face in the crook of your neck as you grip onto his hair, as if he’s gonna disappear any moment.

“I love you.” You hear him say. “I can't see spending a single day without you beside me. You’ve seized my entire heart and soul in your bare hands and I wish to never get it back.” Tears fall from your eyes as you nod your head.

You pull away as you nod again, your face full with tears. “Only if you never give back mine.” You say as jing yuan bursts into a slight laughter. “At your request, my heart. I will never.” He voices and you giggle.

He sees your tear stricken but happy face, your lips shaped into your beautiful smile he thinks of every second of the day and you are beautiful. He feels his eyes water, his heart pounds against his chest at the thought of you protecting him when you thought he was in danger. The roles were reversed that moment and he can’t stop loving you. And when you press your lips against his, he feels fulfilled. Fulfilled having you in his arms, where you should be, and being the man you love.

You pull away slightly and he gently kisses your tears away from your face, your eyes closes in content and there’s a smile on your lips. He can’t believe he’s finally your and you’re his.

You place your cheek on jing yuan’s chest and make eye contact with your father. Who’s looking sadly at you two. You pull away from jing yuan and take your father in your arms.

“Thank you, father. You have no idea how happy I am for you to do this.” Your fathers arms wraps around your body. “That’s why I did it, because it makes you happy and that’s all I wanted for my daughter.” His words have you tearing up again.

“I’m having my king's guards after you if you ever hurt her.” Your father says nonchalantly and you swat his chest while he laughs. “I swear on my life I will never.” Jing yuan says with a grin to his face.

—

You flatten out the blanket on the grass on the hill when jing yuan lightly taps your nose, making you lightly giggle resulting in jing yuan flashing you a gentle smile.

“I have something for you.” He simply says and you sit up excitedly. “And it is?” You ask giddily, jing yuan smiles at your excitement in receiving gifts, grand or simple, you love it.

When he reveals your gift, his heart is racing a lot anticipating your reaction. He sees how your eyes widened in surprise, how you look back and forth between him and the gift.

It’s a flower crown made with only pink bluebells and it’s beautiful.

“I tried my best, although it isn’t the best sight to the eye I still hope you like it.” Jing yuan confesses shyly and you giggle. “I love it so much.” You say as you lean in to press a quick grateful kiss on his lips and he hums in content.

“May I, my princess?” He asks and you nod your head. He places the flower crown on your head and views you with gentle eyes.

“You are beautiful, my heart. Never seen anyone more beautiful than you.” He utters with a content sigh and you giggle. “You flatter me too much, my love.” You softly swat his chest and he chuckles.

He reaches his arms out and immediately envelopes you in a hug making you laugh at how quick he was to grab and hold you. He falls back on the blanket with you on top of him, his arms around your waist and your hands on his chest.

You lean down to peck his lips and Jing yuan meets your kiss halfway. When you begin to pull away he makes a discontented noise, and you smile when he lets out a content sound when your lips are on top of his again. You feel his hands trail up your spine to softly hold you by the neck as he softly deepens the kiss. You clutch his clothing on his chest.

After a few more kisses, you pull away to catch your breath and when you look down at Jing yuan below you, he is breathtaking as the sun rays caresses his skin, enhancing his golden eyes and the pink bluebells on the hill is swarming his head like a halo.

You feel his fingers brush the back of your thighs through your dress, tugging on the clothing, urging you to lay on top of him properly. Caging his body in between your thighs and when you do, a love struck smile crosses his face and he looks happy. He gently strokes your thigh and you smile at him.

You have no idea how in the world you started to fall in love with the man beneath you. Along the way from your first meeting, he caught your heart and you’re glad it was him.

“How did you end up in the royal court room with my father?” You ask curiously as jing yuan continues to stroke your thighs.

“He called for me into the royal court room and simply wanted to speak to me about you.” Jing yuan says and you roll your eyes teasingly. “Simply speak to you about me? Whatever for?” You ask again and you see how jing yuan is now hovering over you, caging you in with his thighs, his thighs brushing against your own.

“He found out after the ball and wanted clarification.” Jing yuan answers and you nod in understanding. Then you chuckle and you see how there’s confusion on Jing Yuan's face.

“I’d be lying if I said we were discreet that day.” You tell him and a smile is on his face, amusement dancing in his eyes. “We were the most discreet people showing our love for each other.” He delivers it lightheartedly in a sarcastic manner while brushing his nose against yours, making you giggle.

In actuality, jing yuan had a crush on you the moment he saw you from the window watching him from your bedroom. His heart pulled and developed into love for you. But he repressed them as best as he could because of the status of your current situation. Cupping a hand against your cheek, he leans down to meet you in a soft kiss, and he feels you smile into the kiss and he gently squeezes the back of your thigh with his other hand.

And then his hands were atop your hips. He pulls himself in closer against your body and deepens the kiss while squeezing your hips gently. There’s so much ardor and deep affection laced into the kiss, a heat spread across your face and body. Jing Yuan tastes just like the herbal tea he drank and honey cookies.

Suddenly feel a gentle breeze but it’s almost knocking your flower crown off your head and you hastily pull away, laughing as you hold onto your crown while jing yuan holds you by the hips, laughing along with you.

He sits up, bringing you with him and he lifts you up onto his lap by grasping your thighs. You are still holding onto your crown. “You will always have my body and soul, my heart.” He whispers languidly by your ear before pecking your mouth. You cozy yourself closer into jing yuan’s embrace, burying your face into his chest as a love struck smile flashes across your face at his lovely words.

“And you’ll always have mine, my love.”

—

in case you wonder, pink bluebell flowers is the meaning of conveying your feelings of everlasting love :)

if you’ve come this far, a like and a reblog would soo much appreciated hehe <3

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xylon8 · 9 months ago

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Getting Misty

[Fem!reader x Natasha]

[No warnings! just fluff :)]

“Look at me, i'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree!..” And I feel like I'm clinging to a cloud, I can't understand.. I get misty just holding your hand. You say, laughing nervously. Natasha observed your state further, chuckling at your silly light hearted remark. “You are not helpless, sweetie. This is why I'm here.” she smiled, caressing your cheek as she patched up the last of your wounds while you're lying comfortably in a hospital bed, gentle blankets covering up your exhausted body from dealing with fragmentum creatures all day.

You hold her hand in yours placing a soft kiss on top of her knuckles, feeling your face get rosy. “Thank you, Nat.” you looked into her ruby red eyes, they look as soft as a cloud, and warm as the rising sun. or in this case, the warm, dim lights of Rivet Town. she looks at you with the same loving look you have on your face. “Anything for you, dear.”

Walk my way, And a thousand violins begin to play Or it might be the sound of your hello. That music I hear I get misty the moment you’re near. You lay on your side, seeing all the monitors and the IV fluid connected to you. Natasha is just on the other side of the room, walking back and forth and helping out sick patients. You admire her figure from afar. Her soft voice, her gentle touch, her caring nature, her attractiveness, her sweet personality, her- “–ove..? Hello..? Jarilo IV to [Y/n}..” her soft voice rings in your ear like a soft ring of a wind chime. She chuckles softly, waving a hand in front of your eyes to snap out of your trance. You come back to see that Natasha is right in front of you, smiling. The heavens must be playing such a heavenly tune by how ethereal she looks right now. “You made me worried, dear. You just weren't responding.” she strokes your hair and tucks a strand behind your ear. Sighing in relief that you were just talking with your eyes and not your mouth.

“Ah.. my apologies. I couldn't help but admire such a pretty doctor.” you blush and close your eyes, letting her touch your scalp for a moment longer, humming at how warm her hand feels. “haha.. Thank you, my love.” She whispers, leaving a soft and lingering kiss on your forehead. Leaving your side as she returns to tend other patients.

You can't see that you're leading me on. And it's just what I want you to do. Don't you notice how hopelessly I'm lost That's why I'm following you On my own. You feel bad that Natasha is doing all the work now that the clinic has gotten busy since it hit noon. You get up, slowly detaching the tubes from your arm, getting up somewhat wobbly but enough so you can walk. You help put away displayed medicine and materials to their homes, restock clean syringes and gause, alcohol pads and much more. It's not long before Natasha sees you up as she comes towards you “[Y/n]... you're supposed to be resting my love.. Please lie down.” she says sadly, confused as to why you're up while you visibly look like half a dead mummy. “Nonsense! I feel fine. I just want to help you out.. That's all. You do so much and receive so little. So I'm doing my part and giving you what you deserve.” a smile draws itself on your face, stocking some cotton balls and popsicle sticks. Natasha let out a soft sigh and smiled, placing her hand on top of yours and placing her head on your shoulder. “That is very sweet, dearie.. But what would help me so much right now is that you get some well deserved rest.. Your bones need it.” her gaze lands on you.. You wrap an arm around her waist.. “But..” you protest, “no buts, honey. doctor's orders.” she kissed your cheek, and helped you get back to your bed unfortunately.

When I wander through this wonderland alone Never knowing my right foot from my left My hat from my glove I'm too misty and too much in love

It wasn't long before you were discharged from the clinic. But you stayed anyway. The clinic was peaceful when it was late at night. Nothing but small beeps from nearby monitors. You were laying on a bed with Natasha, just basking in each other's warmth and presence. “You did a good job today.. Nat.” you muttered, placing your head on her plush chest. She let out a hearty laugh and stroked your soft hair.

“Thank you love.. But you did the most today.” her words were uttered softly. “No… all I did was sign in patients and restock supplies.. And did some cleaning.. But you did the real hero work..”

Natasha blushes wholeheartedly, shaking her head “how about we both did a good job today… mm? Even if you did such small things.. They helped a lot..” you grin, never seeming to win when you have conversations like these..

“I guess that's true. So.. does this also help too?” you lean close to her face, and seal her lips with a kiss which she didn't expect. She returns the passionate kiss, both of your hearts beating in unison at how much love and tenderness is being expressed.

You pull back and place your forehead against hers, both of you grinning. “Yes.. it helps soo much..” she laughs softly and peppers your face with kisses that never seem to end.

Too misty.. And too much in love~ “I love you, Nat.” you mumble dreamily, finding comfort in her kisses “I love you too sweetie.” she whispers, placing a blanket over both of you and pulling you close in a gentle embrace.

#honkai star rail #hsr #star rail #Natasha hsr #fluff #star rail fluff #SoundCloud #[🎱 ball archives]#felt fluffy today!#and Natasha needs more content ;u;

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chiyoso · 7 months ago

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some good fuckin food before i stay up and do my work

₊˚.- NEEDLES AND PINS

Patience breeds success. However, Dr. Veritas Ratio's patience has successfully run thin when it comes to the Intelligentsia Guild's new professor.

Dr. Ratio hate reads about you.

wc - 3.4k

A/N - Basically a Dr. Ratio character study, inspired by the Deftones song Needles and Pins.

Veritas Ratio was a Needle.

At least, that is what he saw himself as. He was sharp, precise, and calculated. One had to be in this world full of ignorant minds.

His known prestige amongst scholars was by no accident. Every equation, formula, and theory engraved into his mind was nothing he didn’t want there. His reputation at the Intelligentsia Guild was by no fault other than his own. And he liked it this way.

So when Dr. Veritas Ratio’s curiosity peaks, he will seek out information regardless of what stands in his way. It just so happens that the rumor of a Genius Society member abandoning their ranking to join the Intelligence Guild not only piques his interest but puzzles him quite a bit.

Everything Veritas Ratio has ever done—ever accomplished was with intent. That’s just what a needle does.

And as he reads the passage before him in the worn textbook he fished out of the bookshelves at his university, he intends to figure out your perplexing nature.

“…and discovered five different constellations that are now crucial to Intercosmic Space Travel, earning the name of the ‘Star Lit Genius’ just after finishing her Associates.”

- Excerpt from Exploring the Starlit Genius

A fool.

Ratio closes the bulky biography with a booming thud. The echo can be heard bouncing off the walls of his office.

That is what you were. That is your nature.

A fool is the only description he can think of as he sharply brings his fingers to his lips. Questions bubble inside him, but the one that escapes himself is, “Why?”

Why would anyone do such a thing? The mere thought that someone could leave the Genius Society was baffling. Sure, there probably were some that had left, but that had to be Amber Eras in the past.

It wasn’t ignorance it was foolishness. Perhaps he was right about Genius Society members having a rock up their asses. There was truly nothing that separated them from the mundane, such as himself. They were just as equally subjected to idiocy.

But could you do such a thing?

You. A scholar blessed by Nous! Given a chance—an opportunity.

He scoffs, his head jerking to the side as if catching himself in an act.

He shouldn’t care.

He doesn’t care.

He’s over that.

Ratio sighs and shakes his head. He doesn’t care. You were foolish, that’s all. It was nothing more.

But who might this fool be?

Ratio’s cold finger travels around the textbook's hardcover. He quickly flips through the pages. Frustration is evident on his face as his brows furrow the more pages he turns.

Yet, there’s nothing.

There’s not one picture of you—the fool—that perplexes his mind. Of course, there wouldn’t be. The Genius Society's “holy” standing wouldn’t allow that. So, he’ll just have to wait for the day he meets the deluded “genius.”

“Immediately after finishing her Associates, the Star Lit Genius earned funds from the IPC for her findings, causing the young brilliant mind to venture more deeply into the cosmos.”

- Excerpt form Exploring the Starlit Genius

Time had passed and life went on. It had been a month since Veritas’ initial read of your biography. He had learned much. Such as your main fields of anatomy, pathology, chemistry and of course astronomy. Little details of your past are stored neatly in the back of the Doctor’s mind, but he has had no use for it. The new semester had started and as time went on he too started to carry on. Students plagued his mind instead, yet a star glittered somewhere near.

“Dr. Ratio.”

It’s no voice he’s familiar with. Or maybe one he’s just not accustomed to yet. Most likely a new student in one of his classes.

He doesn’t even bother to look up. Instead he continues to shuffle through his papers with equations and calculations of the new curriculum that he would soon ignore altogether in his lessons.

He sighs. “Students are to ask questions during the appointed time.” His voice lacks any interest whatsoever.

He was tired of students who seemed to think they were special. If anything, the unfamiliar voice is probably a student coming to butter him up before the semester starts to get on his good side.

“Oh, I’m not a student.” Your voice isn’t familiar, but the syllables that roll off your tongue are ever engraved into his mind. His inner consciousness has read the name so much that he can envision the letters.

Before he looks up, a smug grin shows on his face. Finally, he could put the foolish mind to the face. It was a gift, really. You, coming straight to his door. You had done all the work for him.

But then he takes his first look at you.

Veritas Ratio isn’t one to be rendered speechless, but his surprise is evident. His grin drops at the sight of you. Before, he had imagined that he should have put on his mask of marble to forbid his eyes from the sight of such a foolish person. But now his frustrations were fueled even more by the undeniable fact that a fool could look like…you.

“Professor Alvarez said you would be the person to go to regarding any Physics textbooks,” you say, and Ratio comes back to reality as your voice vibrates around the large space. You stand in the wide door frame, hands held together in front of you.

“Ah,” he chokes out. “Our new professor.” He quickly gets up to walk to the bookshelf behind him to rid the sight of you. His steps are light but eager; however, his back stands straight, and his head is held high. This was it? This was the fool he had read about? What a pity, he thinks as he climbs a few steps up the ladder of the bookshelf. Looks wasted on a simpleton.

Ratio tries to change the topic of conversation while trying not to show his evident surprise. “Say, what does an astronomer have that warrants the need for physics?” He questions.

You're quick to answer. “Well, the two are connected, I’m sure you’re aware.”

He is aware—he’s well aware. But he’s also aware of his unwelcomed knowledge of your hatred for anything purely mathematical in any sense, especially physics, which you loathe the most. He even remembers the page clearly in chapter twenty-six, section fou—but that's beside the point. His ever-growing facts about you are a card he cannot yet play. He has only gazed at you for a mere eight seconds. So for now, he will keep his mouth shut.

“I am,” he says confidently, a slight hint of offense in his voice. “Professors here, however usually tend to their specific fields rather than branching off.” His fingers trace the spine of the dusty books before carefully selecting one and then another.

“One of my students is infatuated by the correlation of the two. It’s something that I had no interest in during my years of studying.” The sound of you shuffling your feet bounces off the walls. “I’m forced to learn now I suppose.”

“Whatever for? You’re no physicist,” he scoffs. His hand lingers around a book as he debates himself in his mind.

“To answer my students' questions, of course,” you answer without a second thought.

A genius interested in the pursuit of other’s knowledge. Ratio’s frustrations physically manifest in the form of a silent sigh. An anomaly you were. An Irritating one at that.

He picks up the book.

He doesn’t say anything as he descends the ladder—or when he walks to where you stand with an uninterested look on his face. He simply plops the books in your hands with a quick “Here.” Their weight jolts you down briefly.

“Some of these are limited or editor's copies.” His eyes meet yours for the first time since you came in. “Do try not to dirty them.”

He turns to walk back to his desk, but the sound of your voice stops him.

“Which is your favorite?”

Ratio turns to walk back to you as he looks you up and down. His fingers fish between the books in your arms, and he pulls out one. It’s encased in golden leather. He lifts it up to hold it out in front of you.

Your hand grazes the hardcover. You look at it, eying the author. ‘Professor Emeritus.’ You look up at him with a hint of playfulness in your eyes. It makes him uneasy—like the breath has been sucked out of his lungs. But then you have the nerve to smile at him, and he can feel himself getting hot.

“Thank you,” you say, and you turn away.

His mind races. His heart beats a bit faster. It’s only when the click of your heels are out of earshot and when the doctor is trying to recover in his desk chair that he realizes he’s forgotten to tell you when to bring them back.

“...the only way to transcend the limitations of the individual is to have an academic network of mutual learning.”

- Intelligentsia Guild

He ignores you.

That’s not to say he doesn't see you. Of course, he does. How could one not see you? It has turned into a game over the past two weeks. He must spot you first to make sure you do not spot him.

So he does just that.

He has no use conversing with a Genius Society member turned idiot. He simply gave you those books to help the students you were teaching, nothing more.

So he carries on with his usual routine of avoiding you. Until, there’s a pile of books with ribbon wrapped around them at his office door. But there’s only three of them.

Ratio quickly picks up the stack of books and unlocks his office door. When at his desk, he finally notices the note placed neatly between the book and ribbon.

Thank you for letting me borrow these. They were very insightful. I have saved your recommendation for last. I will bring it back once I have finished it.

He examines your handwriting—your signature—and how the way you write your A’s and H’s differ from him.

As Ratio revels in the fact that you took his word at face value, he examines the books. His fingers caress the covers and flip through the pages.

You made sure not to dirty them.

“To grow and excel as a Scholar is to reconsider. A Hypothesis that is drawn due to stubbornness and ignorance is a hypothesis from no mind worth listening to.”

- Professor Emeritus in “Attentive Beings”

“Come in,” Ratio replies to the three knocks on his study door. This time, he looks up from his reading as soon as he hears the heels click on the polished wooden floor.

You smile at him—book held in hand.

He greets you with another disinterested look as he turns his head back to the papers in front of him. “Did you enjoy it?”

“I certainly did,” you call out. Although he doesn’t look at you, he can hear you walk slowly around his office. He lets out a sigh as he writes down something.

But then your heels click too close to the round table by the window in the corner of his study, and his mouth grows dry. He looks up as he watches you eye the books he had left open on the table, and put the book you had borrowed down. Your fingernails graze the papers slowly, and you turn the page.

“You read about me?”

Ratio’s throat closes up at your question as he scurries to organize the files and loose sheets of paper before him just to occupy his hands. He puts a fist to his lips and clears his throat. “I simply wanted to know more about the new Professor who would teach some of my former students,” he affirms boldly.

“It’s okay.” your eyes lift up from the pages and turn to him with a smile. “I read about you too.”

He’s not surprised. He shouldn’t be surprised. Any good scholar would do that. But something stirs inside him still. His stomach flips from…excitement. This odd feeling goes unnoticed by you as the doctor quickly covers himself with his swift response “Is that so?”

“Mhm,” you hum. You grab the book and slowly make your way closer and closer to his desk—to him. “Your quite the mathematician,” you smile. “…and philosopher.”

His arms fold and his eyes trail your figure as you approach.

“So tell me, after reading this thing.” You hold up the book. “What’s your ‘philosophy’ on me?”

He sits there in silence looking at you.

“Please, Doctor,” you smirk. “Tell us your verdict on the new professor.”

He’s still hesitant. But the look you give him is like fire on his skin, and he wants to rid of it. So he speaks. “Fine, if you must know.” He lets out an exasperated sigh.

“You’re a fool. Through and through.”

“Is that so?”

“The evidence is clear.”

“Do elaborate, Doctor.”

He sighs again. What has he gotten himself into? “You’re an astronomer.”

“That I am,” you smirk. Oh, he hates that smirk of yours. That smile of yours. That face of yours.

“Your an astronomer that hates physics.” Ratio stand subtly and makes his was round his desk to you. “Quite absurd actually.” He crosses his arms and you shift your body to look him in the eye. “You have no interest in anything mathematical when math is the foundation of all that ever was and will ever be.”

“Mhmm.” And there’s that smirk again as you look up at him.

“You’ve done mounds of research, and any organization would want you.” His voice is booming and stern as if he were lecturing one of his students. “Yet, you pick the IPC of all things to give your work to.”

You're a star, you blaze. Yet you choose to be mediocre like him. It's infuriating.

You nod, and he takes a step closer to you. His brows furrow in frustration, and his finger points down at you.

“And the cherry on top is that you’ve chosen to stray from the Erudition and-“

“Leave the genius Society,” you finish.

Your voice strikes him. He flinches backward and his back stiffens. You’re toying with him. He wonders if it is something he’s opposed to.

“Is that why you dislike me, Veritas?”

He’s opposed to it, he concludes. He steps back, and his arms go to his chest once more. “Dislike?” He lets out an exclaimed scoff. “I barely know you, Professor.” He lets the last word roll off his tongue like an insult.

You hold up the book in your hands and read the title to yourself. ‘Exploring the Starlit Genius’

“Barely?” You ask.

“Nonsense,” is all he can claim as he returns to his desk.

You lean over it, your spread out hands creating a mess of his once neatly placed papers. “You make a conscious effort not to meet my eyes around here.”

Ever the observant one you were. But he denies it. “Our paths must have never crossed,” he explains.

You tilt your head with a knowing look as you cross your arms. “Don’t lie Veritas.”

A shiver goes down his spine. He doesn’t know if it's because it’s the first time he’s ever been called a liar or because you’ve just said his first name. It’s been a while since someone called him something other than “Doctor” or “Professor.” At least that's the quick excuse he can come up with on the spot to ease his jittery mind.

He’s caught. He’s finally caught. So he defends his hypothesis.

“I don’t like fools,” he states matter-a-factly. “I tend to stay away from them.”

“But not from me?”

Oh your tongue is clever. Not as clever as his, he reassures himself.

“You seem to know a lot about me.”

He’s red. He knows it. But he cant seem to find something to throw back at you. His quick wit is anywhere but in the present.

“Is it because deep down you know I’m right?” Your face softens.

He stays silent.

“Out of all the literature about me, you’ve chosen that which is not written by me.” You run your hands across the book's cover and place it neatly before him. “You’ve been reading the books with my name on them but have never picked up the ones that I myself created. Why is that?” You smile, but your face shows genuine perplexity.

If he has an answer, he doesn’t tell you. He keeps it to himself. However, the question he asks in response is an answer in itself.

“Why did you leave?” His voice is low—broken even.

Your smile turns into an expression filled with a touch of sadness. “You ask questions you know the answer to?”

“Don't you dare mock me,” he snaps.

“What else are fools good for?”

He’s silent as his lips purse in anger. There are a few beats before he responds. “Teaching.”

Your face lightens in surprise, and your original charming smile returns.

He wants to know. He yearns to know. But when you finally give him his answer, he knows it will burn like fire. He’ll finally have a reason why the thing he fought so much for was not all it was chopped up to be. The younger years of his life–wasted to appease THEM—all for nothing. Although he had reached a place of contentment, there was a little boy still in him who wanted to keep his former fantasy alive.

“The Erudition is something that consumes people as do all Aeons. You know this, right Professor?”

What you say is common sense. He gives you no answer or satisfaction. But he continues to listen attentively.

“All intelligent minds are selfish to some extent. The genius society is filled with people who will pursue knowledge regardless of the people hurt. This includes themselves.In order to be a person of pure logic—a genius…” You pause for a second. “…you must lack empathy to some extent.”

You turn to meet him, and he swears he’s never seen any eyes more beautiful and full of honesty than yours. “And I have too much.”

And then, at your words, something clicks in his brain.

Another smile takes over your lips as you face your body towards him. “And I believe you have more than you let on, Doctor.”

He’s in silence.

He says nothing because he can’t say something.

You walk around to the other side of his desk where he sits. His eyes follow your ever move while you do so. Your hand unlocks the clasp of your satchel and disappears inside. When it comes out, a book appears before him.

He takes it in his hands tenderly and then looks at the title. ‘Philosophy of the Stars,’ he reads to himself. Then his eyes wander to the bottom of the cover, and there’s your name printed in gold. He looks up at you expectantly.

Of course, when his eyes land on your face, your expression is full of glee. “If you wish to learn more about me, I hope you’ll do so through a book with all of my own words.”

You say nothing more as you turn on your heels and leave his office. Leaving Ratio with a feeling of shock and emptiness.

His hand comes up to his face, and he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He sits there in silence and realizes…

You are none of what he had made you out to be…

Not a fool. Not an idiot. Not a genius.

But a kind soul.

He realizes that he was good enough. That he was not a fool either. Just a young boy who cared.

His eyes linger on the book you left him— the book that his hands refuse to put down. He opens it to the very first page, and he finds your writing in it and a note that slips out on his lap.

For the mediocre Dr. Veritas Ratio.

Your name is signed as elegantly as before. He puts down the book on his desk and picks up the folded note on his lap.

Feel free to dirty this. But keep it clean if you wish to auction it. It will be worth more with both our names on it, so don’t undersell. It is yours to do with as you please.

One thing Veritas knows for sure is that this book won’t leave his possession in all his years to come.

“THEIR silence was deafening.”

- Genius Society–Erudition, Astral Express Data Bank

Dr. Ratio is sharp, precise, and calculated. He considers himself to be all those things; he is a needle.

But if Dr. Veritas Ratio is a needle, then you are a pin.

ty for reading. reblogs are appreciated <3