#HOW FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON AT ALL
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
marcillemon Ā· 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media
What if I kill you with a hammer instead
0 notes
paradox-n-bedrock Ā· 9 months ago
Text
me in big fandoms: oh cool, it's so active and there's so many people to vibe with, this is amaz-
*finds my niche angle that appeals to approximately six people*
me: okay, folks, it's you and me now
4K notes Ā· View notes
cowardlykrow Ā· 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ā€œNot my circus, not my monkeysā€ā€¦ Except those are his monkeys and they are the circus
2K notes Ā· View notes
hailsatanacab Ā· 1 year ago
Text
A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe youā€™ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, itā€™s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didnā€™t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. Iā€”"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fuā€”"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they donā€™t need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'heā€™s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
4K notes Ā· View notes
fairsweetlonging Ā· 1 month ago
Text
new idea: shen yuan transmigrates into a pidw version with abo dynamics, but he doesn't know about it.
he knows what abo is, but it's so far removed from his expectations that it simply doesn't cross his mind at all. with that, cang qiong is a respectable, upstanding sect, so there is no growling, claiming, scent pushing or primal instinct stuff going on. people also don't mention it, as it's simply not relevant most of the time, and is considered rude to discuss unprompted.
shen qingqiu, of course, is an omega (the characters who make the best omegas are the ones who would hate it the most), but he has suppressed it with his qi for most of his life because he doesn't want to be seen as weak. the other peak lords assume he's a beta.
now, i'm not a traditional abo dynamic fan, but, there is something very appealing to me about the nesting and scenting aspect of it.
it starts out slow and painfully oblivious, with shen yuan assuming cultivators must have a really good sense of smell, and it's simply book logic that every character seems to have a signature scent. all those romance novels always mention characters smelling of pine and flowers and scotch and leather, so this isn't a foreign concept. liu qingge, for instance, is the bai zhan war god, girls fall for him left and right, it's only natural he smells of musk and deep woodsy notes, like the earth after it rains. right?
besides that, shen yuan has always been a homebody who loves his creature comforts, so him getting extra blankets and pillows and soft fabrics for his bed to curl up in isn't odd at all. or him collecting soft pretty things. shen qingqiu already has fans and night pearls and hair ribbons and silky clothes, so nothing changes.
then without-a-cure hits.
the poison breaks down the suppressors that the original shen qingqiu put in place, and his body starts restoring the balance. this worsens the cravings, and sets off his omega instincts.
he gathers more blankets, but it doesn't fill the need, like there's something missing. then liu qingge forgets his outer robe in his house after a meridian cleansing to deal with an emergency, and that robe ends up in his bed. he tries to reason it's a comfort thingā€”he wore his dad's sweater when he was young and had nightmares, and liu qingge does smell very nice, so is it really that strange that he holds it at night and presses his face against the collar where the scent is the strongest to soothe himself?
his own scent starts to develop as well, much stronger than the mild, watery green tea flavor from before, and people notice.
thing is, though, that there are many formalities and rules of conduct around omegas, one of which is not to bring up their status in any improper or unbidden way. so even though the alpha lords now notice a very distinct omega scent coming off their shixiong, they can't mention it out of societal pressure. so, they don't.
shen yuan still doesn't notice a thing.
the first time liu qingge smells it is during their bi-weekly cleansing session, when shen qingqiu leans in and liu qingge gets a mouthful of green tea, bamboo and honeyed jasmine, soft and sweet and pleased and so very content it sets off his alpha brain and he has to rein himself in before he starts releasing his own pheromones like some inexperienced teenagerā€”
he's only just grown used to their amity and their habit of sharing tea and cakes after the cleansing, but now shen qingqiu is sitting there smiling at him and smelling likeā€”like liu qingge is spoiling him and, making him feel safe...
he doesn't bring it up, downs his tea, and leaves.
meanwhile shen qingqiu keeps happily nesting away, filling his bed with all kinds of soft fabrics, some clothes of other people that he's trying really hard not to think about. everything is going well, binghe just turned sixteen and the girls are calling him an 'alpha', so his little bun is growing well into his protagonist charms! yue qingyuan comes by more often, acting a little strange but shen qingqiu is used to that by now. he looks very bashful offering him a ribbon of his, a pretty silver one that smells of incense and ozone, and shen qingqiu happily accepts it.
one time binghe comes back bruised and scuffed from a fight with bai zhan disciples, and shen qingqiu tsks at the strange smells on him, do those brutes ever bathe?? he rubs his hands over binghe's sleeves to try and get some of it off, and his poor bun must still be in shock because he stares wide-eyed at his shizun. he must also be getting forgetful because shen qingqiu finds that same robe still unwashed a week later in binghe's bedroom.
he also loves it when people brush or play with his hair, it's his favorite part of the evening when binghe helps him take down his hair for the night. the combs feel so nice on his scalp, if he could purr he would! (binghe's heart sobs quietly behind him, in complete disbelief his master is purring at him).
his icy, lofty demeanor has all but shattered, because now every time he tries to act aloof, like when yue qingyuan gives him a present or liu qingge shows up on his doorstep, his sweet, pleased scent betrays him.
the opposite is true, as well, when without-a-cure flares up and he's in pain and his scent goes sour and distressed, even when he's waving everyone off saying he's fine. the entire house smells of burnt tea leaves and ash after a nightmare, and shen qingqiu is very confused when liu qingge comes to pick him up for a meeting but then refuses to leave.
anyway he doesn't find out until after the conference when airplane tells him to keep his acrid scent under control, his house is starting to stink.
514 notes Ā· View notes
foxstens Ā· 7 months ago
Text
andrew always being at kevin's side because kevin needs it and andrew driving kevin to night practice and andrew patting kevin down to check for injuries and andrew promising kevin it'll be fine and andrew looking awake, interested because of kevin and andrew conserving his energy for kevin's quiet meltdown and andrew smiling for the first time without the drugs because of kevin and andrew always picking up when kevin calls
892 notes Ā· View notes
thedreadvampy Ā· 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.
"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."
translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"
It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!
very this
Tumblr media
#red said#it's just. I'm obsessed.#everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong#this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT#because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION#i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this?#why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered#but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances#then she left and nothing else occurred'#if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING#i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened#because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all.#a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman#b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening#c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that?#you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much#it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'
9K notes Ā· View notes
lucabyte Ā· 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Olive Branch
Wrong Move
670 notes Ā· View notes
bunnieswithknives Ā· 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Gore, Violence and Blood under the cut
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
What a mess
#fop nature au#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop#dale dimmadome#Flowers OC#candy gore#gore#blood#body horror#this really is a mess on so many levels#I wanted to make this situation as difficult as possible for the fairy council to theoretically clear up#everything from the animal to the location to the injury is a nightmare to try and explain#And theres a reason I spent so much time showing the gore getting on his injury. Mans gonna have a rainbow bitemark on his leg forever now#Not exactly easy to explain away#Also I think I accidentally established that Magic was a little toxic so he might have minor blood poisoning lol#Im sure he'll be fine#This is how all gay people are made but the fairies make you forget it#Actually while scripting this I realized how much this looked like the set up for some kind were-deer or were-fairy(??) plotline#which was not the intention but would be a hilarious direction to take the plot in LMAO#Also Id like to mention that flowers is fine. Fairies are functionally immortal aside from magic backup#Itll be healed up like nothing happened it no time#that being said it is still kinda pissed about the skull smashing#Dales got multiple broken ribs plush his leg is in shambled. Absolutely demolished#He's gonna have to get metal implants#You might think 'oh he's gonna opt to get a prosthetic leg now too'#No. Because hes a cowardly little bitch#He doesnt want to get his leg removed if its not absolutely necessary and because he's a nasty little hypocrite#Anyway this will be the start of a very nasty spiral methinks
860 notes Ā· View notes
egophiliac Ā· 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I feel like F/P/S was still a pretty weird one, even by Lance's standards.
sorry for (in an ironic twist) not doing much Ride Kamens art now that it's actually started; I've been pretty slow going through it and I feel weird posting about things I'm not caught up on! though I'm. definitely gonna have to set aside some time to actually get through episode 13, after what they posted today. (w-what did they do to my Leon) (NOBODY TELL ME I HAVE TO FIND OUT ON MY OWN) (LEOOOOOOOON)
520 notes Ā· View notes
corviiids Ā· 3 months ago
Text
ok hear me out about this vaguely Your Name inspired lawlight au told via notes they leave each other while bodyswapped
Tumblr media Tumblr media
213 notes Ā· View notes
trappedinafantasy37 Ā· 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media
POV: Evil murder kitten tries to evil murder you in your sleep. She's desperate for a reason not to evil murder you because she does not want to.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#i know i've posted this one before#but i just can't get over how cute and adorable she is right here - she really looks like a startled cat#regardless of whether you sleep with her or not#the prism still temporarily broke her connection to the absolute and then returned it to her right when she was about to kill you#and it sparked an immediate crisis of faith because everything about that night is all wrong - except for you#you having no connection to the absolute causes her to doubt the extent of the absolute's control#but she also begins to question the absolute as she found peace in the silence - peace in the absolute *not* controlling her for once#even with the absolute having returned to her - she still wants a reason *not* to kill you#in that moment she clocked you as a potential enemy of the absolute and by her oath - she would be obligated to kill you#which is why the only reason you can get her to stand down is by proving to her that you are not an enemy#and it is pretty easy to convince her that you're not an enemy because she is that desperate for any excuse from you#minthara is not the kind of person who would back off and run from a fight - and is definitely not spooked about assassinations#and she most certainly has stabbed someone in their sleep before and has killed a lover#but she does not like to engage in fights that she does not think are necessary nor to kill those she does not have a reason to kill#the fact that she pulled away when you caught her and she didn't immediately escalate the conflict into a full fight#is a pretty big indication that she has some pretty extreme doubts about the absolute - and *she* does not see you as an enemy
206 notes Ā· View notes
batsyheere Ā· 2 months ago
Text
When thinking on timelines with DC and Danny Phantom, I always figure Dick Grayson and Danny Fenton being around the same age makes sense. Like, that 90-2000s tech and culture, the formation of the Justice League and the Meta Acts? It would make sense to have a time period with no basis for such things when it concerns Danny not reaching out to other heroes or for the Anti-Ecto Acts being slipped into law. And it wouldn't be weird for Batman not to hear about all the ghostly happening of Amity Park when he would primarily be focused on Gotham (and somewhat the League).
It feels like a good set up for Danny being a great mentor for others based off his own struggles as a teen vigilante with no preparation or proper support. He can finally reach out to other heroes, lend his own experiences and power to a fight even if he does decide to start retiring from the vigilante scene.
Then you have Dick Grayson trying to strike out on his own, form his own identity, and I feel like Danny would be weirdly intuitive? He immediately clocks Dick as a teen vigilante and is just there for him in the ways he always wished someone had been for him.
263 notes Ā· View notes
meltedmush Ā· 2 months ago
Note
Everything is binghe. Even the air
The air is Binghe.
The clouds are Binghe.
The grass is Binghe.
Breathe it all in.
Fill your lungs with Binghe.
Fill your veins with Binghe.
Spleen, kidneys, liver, lungs.
All are Binghe.
Everything is Binghe.
You are Binghe.
Tumblr media
330 notes Ā· View notes
icewindandboringhorror Ā· 3 months ago
Text
#tumblr polls#polls#Sorry if the wording is weird. I thought ''be considered X where I live'' would make the most sense since 'tallness' or etc. is sort of#subjective to the people around you or your specific culture/area/etc. And if I just said ''I'm tall'' or ''I'm short'' then#the response might be 'well how do I define whether I'm tall or not?'' or etc. But then most people could probably look#at the people around them in daily life they interact with and compare based on that to get a more literal idea or something#..ANYWAY.. lol.. as usual just thought of some random thing and was like.. hrmm... i wonder what the most common#feeling about that would be.#personally I'm not even short but I just want to be really really tall... like... 7 feet tall or something. In a fantasy world type of way#of course. so like a super tall elf creature. More realistically I suppose you get health problems past a certain point#so maybe I'd be happy with 6'2ā€œ or so.#Absolutely no hate towards people with this preference but I've always had trouble understanding the idea of wanting to be shorter#so you're Small And Cute or this and that. or whatever the base reason is. I suppose I would understand it from a surivval prespective#maybe you want to be able to hide in your environment easier and blend into a crowd. I personally would like people to be inspired to run#away from me when they see me though gjhbj#In an average grocery store or something just a normal day but then some 8 foot tall wizard man walks in and so everyone#kind of backs away slowly = yaaay I get the aisle all to myself and can shop for my produce in peace.#(except for the fact that there's a subsection of people who would intepret it as spectacle and would run towards instead of away#and pull out their dumbass phones to film Weird Thing Happening. in which case. spell of 'phone melts into molten plastic in your hands#stop filming strangers in public without their consent' be cast upon ye. )
205 notes Ā· View notes
inumbrapugnabimus-maybe Ā· 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I read Howlā€™s Moving Castle and it is officially a comfort book now so here is Sophie :D
252 notes Ā· View notes