straightouttagershwin

[straightouttagershwin]

i did it (5/31/24)

maybe i’ve done it before and i just didn’t realize

but i noticed it today

after 4 months on new medication

i had an anxious thought, and i worked through it in about 5 seconds. i didn’t need to use any tools or call my mom.

it seems small, but 4 months ago, i never would’ve been able to do it

[straightouttagershwin]

apologize 5/30/24

sometimes,

you just have to apologize

even if you didn't do it on purpose

even if you weren't in a good place

even if it was a long time ago

you just have to say sorry

and hope for forgiveness

[straightouttagershwin]

It's okay if it takes a little longer than you thought.

[straightouttagershwin]

Bonus:

“Percy, you can't ship Medusa's head to Olympus.” “Why not?”

PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS (2023-) S01E03 | “We Visit the Garden Gnome Emporium”

[straightouttagershwin]

“That’s how you live: you cry, you ache, you hurt, you can’t breathe. That’s how you move forward, by feeling it all.”

— Kayil York

[straightouttagershwin]

boyfriend 7/14/23

i wish i wasn’t second to your boyfriend

before him i was your number one

now you kick me out to spend 15 extra minutes alone with him

i get it i guess

but i miss you

[straightouttagershwin]

a very happy pride month to cletus jones, killer of 3 people

[straightouttagershwin]

MUSIC ASK GAME

Favorite artist?

Favorite band?

Favorite song?

Favorite video game soundtrack?

Favorite genre?

Any comfort songs?

A playlist you’re particularly proud of?

Have you ever been to a concert? Are you planning to go to one?

How much did your parents music taste shape your own music taste?

Any particular artists or songs give you nostalgia?

Song that everybody hates/dislikes that you love/like?

Song that everyone loves/likes that you hate/dislike?

Any songs that make you absurdly happy to listen to?

Any songs you only listen to when your in a particular mood?

How long is your longest playlist? In either time or number of songs

How many playlists do you have?

What platform do you listen to music on?

Do you have any playlists dedicated to a specific character/situation?

Do you have any playlists dedicated to specific holidays?

Do you have any playlists dedicated to your OCs?

Do you listen to music to stim?

Do you listen to all kinds of music or do you stick to one genre?

Can you sing?

Can you play an instrument?

Have you ever written a song?

[straightouttagershwin]

what if (5/25/23)

what if it worked out

after our sixth grade dance

we kept going

we dated, kissed, lived and loved

we stayed together and took on the world

i was never heartbroken because i had you by my side

we went through the good and the bad, and looked back on it as the beginning of something beautiful

what if we fell in love

[straightouttagershwin]

Since people seemed to enjoy my Twisted one, I present a comparative analysis of plays based on Harry Potter:

[straightouttagershwin]

i miss you (2/27/23)

god i miss you

i never thought i could miss someone this much

i miss your smile

your fingers in my hair

and mine in yours

your arms around my waist

my head on your chest

the sound of your breath.

i miss when you told me it was okay

but it isn’t anymore

you said it wasn’t the right time

and i said i understood

but that was the biggest lie i’ve ever told

i don’t understand at all

[straightouttagershwin]

please. never forget

never forget how many people love you

how many people cried tears of joy the day you were born

how many people wait patiently to wish you happy birthday every year

how many people like your pictures, but love your smile

how proud they are of everything you do

every first day of school

every holiday concert

every art project

they treasure everything you’ve ever done simply because you did it

[straightouttagershwin]

beeping sounds

fluorescent lights

can’t tell the difference

in day or night

white walls, covered with cords

no way to tell which room is yours

tired people

flowing tears

feels like we’ve been here

twenty years

hooked up to things i can’t pronounce

filling ounce by fluid ounce

oh how i hate to see you here

i don’t wanna stay

but i need you near

oh how i hate

seeing you like this

to have you back home

is my only wish

ticking clocks

squeaking shoes

little kids

no social cues

can we leave

i wanna get out of here

oh how i miss you

but i can’t see you, without tears

[straightouttagershwin]

i’m selfish. dirty.

i’ve lied, cheated, stolen, and begged

i’ve cried and scratched

i’ve ghosted and clinged

i started the problem

you ended it

you started the love

but it was never mine

[straightouttagershwin]

i’m not sure i was ever seventeen

[straightouttagershwin]

confused (9/2/22)

i’m so confused

you started everything,

invited me over

you made me feel warm,

drunk and sober

you brought me to your bed

and laid in my arms

so why did you end it

could trying really have harmed?

[straightouttagershwin]

trigger warning (7/18/22)

i wish your name came with a trigger warning

something to warn me not to look

because every time i see it

i’m reminded of everything you took

it twists my stomach into knots

and makes my heart weak

it makes me want to feel you again

to hear you laugh, hear you speak

but i can’t be around you anymore

i can’t do it to myself

over and over and over

i can’t put myself through hell