#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET OVER THAT
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maybe the real tragedy of alien stage round 6 isn’t that they’re in an idol death game or even the string of unrequited love here but rather that someone could believe the feelings he held for years and gave him the strength to go on were too shallow to ever express properly
so he dies thinking he wasn't cared for at all
#alien stage#alnst#ivantill#how am I supposed to get over that#what even is the level of self-loathing needed to get to this point#so what if till looked at him that was hardly all he wanted right#before 'confession' i was like. normal sad. i can appreciate a good tragedy ig#now i just HE DIED LIKE THAT?? NO????#ivan needs to come back rn so someone can slap him for being an idiot#then he can die again i guess but not like thiiiis#it's too miserable...
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Thinking about The Recognitions again
I have wayyyy too many books on my to-read list to read a 945 page book for the second time (in the same year) right now
But it’s just That Good it’s just SO GOOD
I am never going to get over it
#literally no one is doing it like Gaddis#and if they are please tell me about them#i know I should read dostoevsky’s entire catalogue before revisiting Recognitions#seeing as that’s the most significant chunk of references that I didn’t have past knowledge of#but like#‘their extended arms abscissa and ordinate for the point of ordination where their eyes met on the inordinate curve of doubt’#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET OVER THAT#AND THAT’S JUST ONE LINE#the language is DANCING#the recognitions#william gaddis#literature
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thinking about the ending of dragon age 2 as a mage hawke who sided with the mages at the end of the fifth blight, the warden defeats the archdemon and saves ferelden. they are paraded through denerim to the sounds of cheering crowds. if they don't survive, their memory lives on in a tale of great heroism and sacrifice for years to come. the inquisitor celebrates at skyhold with the rest of their companions after they beat corypheus, the threat finally ended, the inquisition a success.
but not hawke. you can fight with everything you have to support the mages, but there is no grand fanfare when it is over. the villain succumbs to corruption and dies unceremoniously - you don’t even get the satisfaction of striking the killing blow. you can’t get a round at the hanged man to celebrate. it’s time to go. you and your friends can never sit around your table at the hanged man again. you can’t be seen here when the templars come to clean up the mess. nothing will be the same. you have given seven years of your life trying to hold kirkwall together, accepted your accolades and played the part of champion, and you watch it fall apart anyway. and how much of that is your fault? this city has been stained in your blood since before you could remember, since before the blood was your own.
you lost your sister when you lost your first home. even so, you tried to live by the advice you gave fenris - when you stop running, you build a life. the estate that you clawed your family back into stands looming and empty. it is the last place you saw your mother alive, and you still can't bear to touch her things, and you will never even see her room again. bodahn and sandal are making preparations to leave for orlais, orana will find other work with the skills she's learned, and the house will remain, a hollow testament to your family's legacy. gamlen will hear only the stories. your brother fought by your side when it mattered, despite everything. even so, he will stay behind, and you might never see him again.
no, there is no time for a celebration. instead you get a cautious acknowledgement from the templars, a tense goodbye, and then you can never go home again. for the second time. you thought you could build a life, and you tried. you held on as long as you could, you made friends, you fell in love, you clung to the last vestiges of your family, but most of them will be forced to leave your side anyway. you won, but even that wasn't enough.
#dragon age#dragon age 2#da2#mage hawke#the champion of kirkwall#what good are such titles when they can no longer be true#i am losing my mind over the tragedy of hawke right now#didn't even get into the andersmancer of it all#how the FUCK am i supposed to leave my girl in the fade in DAI#she deserves a win#amalia hawke
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I truly, TRULY do not know how to say this, because the fact that I have to say it makes me feel like I am losing my grip on reality. But no, in the post-capitalistic anarchist utopia, I will not be relying on “autistic minecraft girlies” to be building inspectors because - and this may shock you - one of those occupations takes years of education in how to read and interpret hundreds of thousands of lines of regulations based on complicated math and physics that were the result of decades of tragedy and death, and the other one involves playing a children’s video game.
#i am begging this website. BEGGING it. to stop acting like building codes are state oppression#and please stop reducing blue collar jobs to 'so easy any handyman could do it with a youtube video'#that's how people fucking die#i didn't spend five years learning how to do my job safely to watch people online tell me it could've just been a course in high school#i know that this is like. a minority minority opinion and not really worth getting worked up over#but it's so annoying to see supposed leftists denigrating blue collar jobs like this#same poster also opined that we won't need garbagemen#because 'if the trash is bothering people they'll figure out a way to clean it without having to pick it up'#like what??? does that even fucking mean????#construction
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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.
i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.
anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.
#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference#anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#doodlebyte#----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but#They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good#(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit#distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally#stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur#BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule#which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation#ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.
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Send help, I am watching CA: TFA, and I am overcome and emotional about Steve's refusal to give up or stop trying to rescue Bucky, even when the odds are vanishingly small. Because this part of the movie really goes:
Peggy: Your audience contained what's left of the 107th (Bucky is very probably dead #1)
Phillips: Tells Steve he signed a condolence letter to the Barnes' (Bucky is very probably dead #2)
Steve: Fuck that, I'm staging a one-man rescue. (Actually, yes, Peggy, he will walk to Austria if he has to!)
Steve: Finds and rescues imprisoned members of the 107th and sees that Bucky isn't among them. (Bucky is very, very, mostly likely dead #3)
Steve: Asks the 107th guys if they've know/have seen Bucky.
Rescued 107th members: Tell Steve that there is this super terrifying isolation room place, but no one comes back from that. Not ever. So. (No, really, it is almost 100 percent certain that Bucky is dead. #4.)
Steve: Right, so I'm going to search every inch of this factory for bucky while single-handedly fighting off Hydra soldiers. You guys good to go storm out through the doors and take on those Hyrda soldiers? (Don't worry, Steve's got this! He knocked out Adolf Hitler over 200 times!) And I am an absolute disaster about it over here tonight. The dedication. The determination. The devotion.
(They're so in love. I'm so weak about it. It is too early in this movie for me to be this emotional. Send help.)
#SteveBucky#Stucky#MCU#I have seen this movie so many times! And yet! Here I am! Watching it and getting destroyed all over again!#How is a person ever supposed to get over this?
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Commission for @zipzoomzaria
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 fanart#commission#astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion x tav#another commission with astarion ahhhhh#how am i supposed to get over my obsession with him like this?????
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A new challenger approaches (slowly)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen chao#jin zixuan#jiang cheng#lan wangji#tulu xuanwu#Wen Chao's turtlephobia starts now. I wonder if that's ever going to come back into play?#Slight re-ordering of events for the funny punchlines but we're close to getting back on track.#The mianmian stuff happening right after we also have a Torment Tortoise looking for blood makes this scene so chaotic.#A good kind of chaos as it is supposed to be overwhelming and anxiety inducing!#I have been sitting on the idea of the Beast being just a normal turtle with a knife for ages. Years in fact.#It's stupid as hell but that's sometimes what art is. Indulging the past you who would have loved to see the dumb thing be drawn.#Making it canon now that A-Qing's turtle (the one pd-Lan Sizhui found) is a descendant of this turtle.#Maybe she was so defensive because she has eggs she was watching over! How insensitive of these cultivators!#You can insert your own choice of boss music here - I did not grow up playing video games so I have nothing off the top of my head.#I am making a BOTW reference here so you could substitute one of those themes but I find them more melancholic than menacing.
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S1 Clex is soooo insane like. That's a billionaire and a farm boy. They kiss at first sight. Clark's kiss brings Lex back to life. After knowing each other for a day they declare that they have a future together and they don't want anything to stand in their way. Everyone thinks Lex is spoiled but don't let Clark hear you say that. They make heart eyes at each other 24/7. Lex is sooo invested in Clark's love life. He craves Clark's father's approval, but Clark is determined to be with Lex whether his father likes it or not. They hang out so much that Clark's friends think no one else exists around him anymore. Lex never fails to mention that they are gonna be best friends forever and ever. And the whole time you know that they are doomed by the narrative
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"That is where you are wrong, my boy!"
@ratb4stard3 and I deliver another Cowardlyghostbro's(™) collab ✨💛
#Cinderellas castle#The brother of all time did Sir hop and the background 💛💛💛💛#Obsessed with the little froggy scales on Jon btw oh ymgod and just how great he and sir hop look in general i am UNWELL#also just...theeeee background!!!! uhggng!!!!#i can't get over it - its so good#the vibe is jUST RIGHT uhgughughguhuhg loooook at it oh ymgofdddloooooookiminufd#This ones going up in the CGB clubhouse's Hall Of Fame#adjsgkfs gosh I've been wanting to do Fanart for cinderella's castle for a long time but i was struggling really badly with it#But then i was sent the Cursed “Let's collaborate” business card by my favorite ghost and all was well#no you wont get any more context on that#Love doing art with the brother tbh - he makes it feel less like a chore when art is feeling difficult and it becomes a lot more fun 🙏#even tho i take forever with my part#he says its fine but don't listen to him he's crazy 😔😔👎#starkid#Cinderella's castle#what are even the tags for this uh#sir hop a lot#Crumb#??#crumb the mouse#crumb the squire#dunno if i'd count this as spoilers but just in case#cinderella’s castle spoilers#cc spoilers#cinderellas castle spoilers#brrotothers forrerevvrerrer#also i was supposed to post this earlier BUT I FORGOT because im a MONSTER#but its fine#mhm
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Contrary is a fantastic ability
#Trainer hilda#skuntank#serperior#pokemon doodles#original art#Thank you pokemon blaze black for giving him this#Infinitely better than overgrow#i am having the time of my life#I don’t care how it happens—a win is a win#Also thinking about memento as a move#Like I guess it’s supposed to tank the opponent but is it really worth offing yourself over?#Plus if that pokemon gets switched out again after the fact then it was all for nothing#I’m sure some ppl make those kinds of moves work but this NPC certainly didn’t
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what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!
#girl what are you doing......#also just in general she did not deserve him honestly he was so good to her and for WHAT#just to be abandoned at peak devotion and guilt and hotness 🙄#girl get OUT of my way i'm stronger than you#if she cared she could fix him or make him worse but i could love and support him no matter what 😌#his muder is a part of him and its SEXY#robert chase#house md#malpractice md#i know the actors broke up irl or whatever but wtf.....#i should have ended my rewatch w their happy lil wedding at the end of s5#s6 everything instantly goes to shit#and stays shitty#chase should be happy fr#he's supposed to turn into house basically but they should have made him the well adjusted version of house#like how nightwing is the well adjusted version of batman#anyway i have no real point here i just lowkey dont like cameron bc of this arc#also her obsession w house is so weird i wish they hadn't made that a thing#this has been a shitpost#anyway she left chase at the absolute peak of his sexiness wtf.......#anyway since this apparently needs to be said its not that deep this is a silly post if you send me hate messages i wont answer#i block and ignore anon hate bc i am too busy touching grass to be rude to strangers over a tv show
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only starscream would see the success of others as a threat to himself
#lmaoo this wasn’t supposed to be so polished at first#i was designing jetfire#and made this comic#its incredible how starscream weasled in and made it all about him smh#starscream: if i am not the center of attention i will die#anyways context is#starscream gets a little jealous of the attention jetfires been getting#really jealous#so he decides to do something about it#as you do#and jetfire is his closest friend ofc#its just that this starscream values power over love#this will totally not affect him personally later on#transformers#maccadam#hermes art#transformers hyperlink#starscream#jetfire#comic#transformers fan continuity
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Maybe I’m just being dramatic but it does legitimately scare and sadden me to see that a lot of transandrophobia truthers are literally just…young boys. Like, actual children. Like you’re not even old enough to vote yet and you have your whole life ahead of you and yet you are being manipulated into joining an mra group that hates trans women with a passion and thinks that men are oppressed in society for being men, and constantly uses Black men as their talking point in order to sound diverse and inclusive, meanwhile they’re also appropriating and misusing terminology specifically created by Black women to talk about our own oppression in order to get their misandry point across…to say nothing of the fact that the largest people in this group(including but not limited to its creator!) have misogynistic rape/detrans kinks centered specifically around preying on lesbians and trans women and this is something that is normalized and defended by the vast majority of transandrophobia truthers, or at least defended viciously by every single transandrodork that I’ve ever encountered who argued with me(a lesbian!!!) that actually there’s nothing wrong with getting off to the corrective rape of women because two consenting adults can do whatever they want in the bedroom(yeah right)! Not to mention I have yet to come across a transandrophobia truther who wasn’t also a raging die-hard Zionist.
And that’s why it disturbs me so much to see young trans boys jumping onto this transmisogynistic hate train like you guys realize these men don’t have your best interests at heart, right? They’re only going to manipulate you into being a sexist entitled asshat who shuns and bullies the trans women in your community and sees them as oppressing you. Like I know you’re still in middle/high school but you can still think for yourselves, you can choose to be better than this, you can choose to actually learn about feminism and realize that it’s not actually misandry that oppresses you, it’s transphobia. Misandry doesn’t suddenly become real because you slap a trans paint over it that’s not how it works that’s not how intersectionality works that’s not how any of this shit works. There are better trans men to talk to about trans issues who know that the patriarchy is real and don’t shit on trans women in order to speak out about trans topics, so go seek them out, okay? You absolutely do not have to listen to shit that the “male supremacists but trans” group of lowlives has to say. Hell, tell them to fuck off instead! Please, I promise you that there are much better options, there are ALWAYS better options, and you still have time to escape before they fully radicalize you into basically being an incel. There will ALWAYS be another way. ❤️
#transmisogyny#trans women#trans#lesbian#lesbophobia#transandrophobia is not real#sexism#misogyn#misogynoir#anti-blackness#racism#tw corrective rape#op#yes this is a vaguepost no i’m not naming names bc he’s a minor and i don’t want him to get harassed#but it does legitimately unnerve me and make me so sad#i normally mock transandrobros brutally if they’re older than me but when they’re children which is disturbingly becoming quite common#like sweetheart you still have recess what are you DOING#i don’t wanna sound like i think kids are stupid or know nothing or anything like that#because like i said many of them CAN make the choice to be better#it’s just also true that many kids are very impressionable and vulnerable and don’t have anywhere else to turn to so it’s hardly a surprise#that many of them turn to people who are really not worth listening to such as in these cases#so when i see a transandrophobia truther ruthlessly arguing that men are oppressed and then i go to their profile and it says 14 it’s like#how am i supposed to make fun of that now i’m just sad they need help#or to just grow up lol#if they’re lucky then these teenage trans boys will mature out of the idea that misandry is real and trans women are speaking over them in#the community/the source of all their problems#if they’re not lucky then they’ll turn out like…your everyday mra ig and no one wants to see that#at least i don’t
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HE LOOKS SOOOO GOOD
#I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU……..#MY SILLY LITTLE GUY#going so feral over this#how am I supposed to sleep in these conditions#im so excited for my moots to wake up and see this#dnp#dan and phil#dannie#ig stories#get behind me baby I’ll protect you from the haters
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Season 8 is so cold, does anyone know what I mean. It's so gray, where's the warm lighting. I need yellow. Everything is so dead, it's such a lonely vibe where IS EVERYONE.
#i was technically prepared for this#no i was expecting it#not prepared#its such a cold season 😭 I'm only on episode 6 dude#its so over for me#how am i supposed to go on#a month of watching this stupid show.#house md#gregory house#Robert Chase#chris taub#well at least taub and chase are back. i suppose. love them#greg house#lisa cuddy#cuddy ☹️ come back we need you#the power balance is off..#nothing burger post#houseblogging#house posting#house blogging#hate crimes md#james wilson#don't even get me started on Wilson. any episode now. its all gonna fall apart#autism is a DISABILITY. making tv shows effect my mental health cmon now#or maybe thats just depression and escapism#whatever it is.#silly#hilson#house x wilson#yaoi
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