#HOLY SHIT I WRITE SO WELL
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aedan-mills · 1 year ago
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WHAT THE HECK??? I WROTE THIS????????
Worse than Blood (CHADD Fic)
(First of all thank you to @auxctor for beta-ing this?! my first beta ever and I love what you did <3)
Charlie/Todd + AnderPerry Angst incoming (CW: Neil's death, angst) now on Ao3!
Charlie Dalton and Neil Perry were as close as brothers. Probably even closer. Even if you say that blood was thicker than water, whatever was running through their veins was much more dense and viscous.
Charlie and Neil fought different battles yet they were irrefutably the same kind of person. Adventurous, albeit impulsive, fun-loving, and clever young men, these two were destined to be best friends who had to face the world around them.
However, as Charlie would soon realize, they weren't the same. The world had to remind Charlie that he and Neil were different, in more ways than one. Though they wore the same uniform to school, their grades were different. Though they both went to Welton, a prestigious prep-school, Neil's parents thought that fact wasn't enough. Though they both had passion in their hearts, Neil wasn't allowed to reach for them like Charlie could.
Charlie was never jealous of Neil because of this, he fought tooth and nail to make sure Neil looked good in front of his parents, taking the blame for almost all their antics together. He did his best to make sure Neil was happy when he was at Welton, when he was away from his parents, free to be himself. But it wasn't enough.
Every time Neil checked into his dorm room, every time Charlie would chime in and ask how his summer went with a jester-like grin, Neil would always sound morose or even quite aggravated.
Except for one year. Their junior year of High School.
Charlie sauntered once more into Neil's room, putting up his usual schtick of asking about his summer but Neil seemed... different. It wasn't huge, but he seemed to be excited about something. Charlie soon realized there was another boy in Neil's room, the new kid.
Nothing really compelled Charlie to act so cool, but he figured the new kid needed to see how ‘cool’ Welton was. So Charlie lit up a cigarette and laid back on Neil's bed.
Neil eventually introduced him as Todd Anderson. After Meeks introduced himself, he and Todd shared a short yet memorable glance. Of course, being Charlie Dalton, he flashed him a smirk, making Todd even more skittish. Not that this fazed Charlie, but it was kind of cute how shy Todd was from the get-go.
At first, Charlie felt sorry for Todd, seeing how nervous he was in Nolan's office. Poor kid couldn’t even say he wanted to join the Rowing Club properly. He noticed how aloof Todd was when it came to joining their study group. Neil tried to ask him to come along but he refused. Charlie figured if he asked him, maybe he could've convinced him on the first try.
When Neil decided to restart the Dead Poets Society, Charlie instantly joined his brother, seeing how happy it made him to gain immediate encouragement. They soon got Cameron, Meeks, Pitts, and even Knox in, but not the Todd fellow.
Pity soon turned into sympathy when Charlie saw Todd shyly studying on his own while he and the others discussed the way to the cave. After being silenced by Mr. McAllister, Neil made his way over to Todd. Charlie observed how close they were, how intimately Neil asked Todd to join. He knew Neil was incessant that way, still wanting things to go his way if he could help it. Todd fluttered his eyes the more Neil leaned in and Charlie could only marvel by how dense his best friend was. Poor kid must have been very intimidated by Neil.
The more Charlie got to know Todd, the more their Dead Poet Meetings became a success amongst themselves, the more Charlie would appreciate his company. He'd see that Todd was much more sarcastic and wittier than he initially thought him out to be. Neil made sure to remind him of that too.
The day Charlie's brotherhood with Neil changed was the day he would be sitting idly by his bed, passing the time with his bongos while Cameron was gone. Neil hurriedly barged in his room before closing the door behind him. It wasn't the fact that Neil dropped to the floor and basically told Charlie that he had feelings for Todd and that his heart was about to burst from so much infatuation that made Charlie's own heart pang like it did. It was the simple fact that it was the same time he realized he liked Todd Anderson too.
For every reason Neil listed down about his feelings for Todd, Charlie would nod-- not in acceptance, but in agreement. Neil and Charlie were truly brothers, two twins separated from birth, and could very well be the same human being, even to the point that they loved the same person. It was a bitter realization for Charlie, to wish so badly he wasn't the same as Neil in that regard.
He watched as his best friend became closer to someone he liked. He watched as Neil and Todd grew even more dependent on each other. He watched as Todd's lips began to smile just by being around Neil alone.
Charlie never needed to know if Todd returned Neil's feelings, to be honest, he never wanted to know if they'll end up together. Charlie thought: what could be worse than seeing your best friend romance the love of your life? To watch Neil on stage perform amazingly while Todd whole-heartedly applauded him towards the end? What could be worse than this feeling?
Charlie's question was sorely answered one Winter morning. On the day he was informed that Neil had passed away without leaving a note or any form of resolution, nothing for Todd. Charlie was tasked with one of the worst things on Earth, with being the one to tell Todd about Neil's death.
How should you feel about this? How should you feel when you tell your best friend's crush that he died? How should you feel when you tell the person you're in love with that someone who loved them, probably even more than you, died? How do you tell Todd Anderson that Neil Perry fucking died? Before he could confess. Before Charlie got to see how this ended. Before he would know how Todd felt about either of them.
Charlie couldn't understand why Neil left before he had the chance to spend his life with Todd, or even continue living in general. He couldn't fathom why Neil would leave him alone too. His brother left him, he left Todd, he left them all in this barren and cold wasteland. Charlie couldn't understand Neil anymore. Charlie, for the first time, couldn't accept what Neil thought his life was like. The stuff in their veins, drained from their shared experiences and poured out into the snow like a giant red target. A giant signal just reminding them of how vastly different they were.
Charlie, for a miniscule moment, thought Neil being gone was the mark of him not understanding people anymore.
It wasn't until he saw Todd vomiting onto the snow that he realized this wasn’t true.
Todd was desperately muttering words, desperately trying to get everyone to understand Neil's unfortunate turn-- that it was his Father who killed him. As Todd bawled and stuttered his words, all Charlie could do was watch the truth unfold.
As Todd yanked himself away from their grips, throwing a desperate yawp, shouting Neil's name towards the frozen lake, that's when Charlie saw it.
Todd was in love with Neil. He always has been.
Todd loved Neil, more than Charlie could love either of them. They were more inseparable, much faster than Charlie could ever attempt to be with Neil when they were growing up. Todd was aware of how different Neil and him were and yet he knew they could make it work. Todd's aching call into the void was him knowing what he and Neil could've had, better than Charlie will ever have with either of them. And that made it all the while worse.
What's worse than finding out your best friend loves the same person as you? Worse than your best friend dying? Worse than telling the person you love your best friend died?
Finding out that the person you're in love with just lost the only person they'll ever love and that it was your best friend.
The liquid that used to run in Charlie's veins began to solidify and constrict his heart. They muddied his soul and left nothing for him to feel. With his realization, Charlie's heart was no longer pumping with blood, but something much thicker and bleaker. Something much worse than jealousy. Anguish.
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hailsatanacab · 2 years ago
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Family Dinners - dpxdc
"Holy shit, you're Bruce Wayne!" Danny gaped, jabbing a finger at the man sitting at the head of the table.
The bustling dining room goes silent as everyone turns to look at him.
"Danny, who did you think was going to be here?" Tim asks, disbelief plain in his voice and Danny feels his face flush red.
"Sorry, I, uh, I guess I just never put it together. Tim Drake-Wayne. Wayne Manor. It, uh, makes sense now." He laughs sheepishly and scrubs at his neck before slumping back down into his chair.
"Well," Tim says with an indulgent sigh, "at least I know you're not just friends with me for my connections."
"Yeah, I'm really sorry, I just never thought about it, I guess."
Danny sinks lower as everyone around him laughs. Come to dinner, he said, the food is the best, he said, ignore the family, he said. Danny really wishes he'd listened to Tim and just ignored them—almost as much as he's regretting accepting the offer in the first place—but... he's having dinner with Batman.
Ancients, that's so weird!
The last time he saw Batman was in the future and, suffice it to say, it was not going well. There hadn't really been time for family dinners there.
Wait. Family dinners?
He peers around the table, openly gawking at everyone as it all clicks into place.
"Everything alright, Danny? Now realising who everyone else is?" Tim asks with a roll of his eyes.
"Uh... something like that..." Danny mumbles as everyone laughs again.
From further down the table, the smallest Wayne scoffs and clicks his tongue.
"I thought you said he was smart, Drake?"
"So, you all do it, too, then?" he asks, ignoring the jibe. Danny's only a little bit jealous as he thinks of how much easier they must have it, how much easier it'd be if his family had been on his side, too. "You all work together?"
"Nah," Dick says from across the table with a brilliant grin. "Tim's the only one that works with Bruce, we all have different jobs. I'm a police officer in Bludhaven."
"Disgusting." Danny blurts out without thinking—because seriously, what kind of self-respecting vigilante would also be a police officer?—before clapping a hand over his mouth. "Sorry."
The whole table laughs again, the loudest being the blonde girl a few spaces down from Dick. Look, Danny wasn't really paying attention to names when they were all paraded in front of him. Dick only gets remembered because his name is a joke.
Come on, Danny, recover!
"That's, uh, not what I meant, though."
"Oh?" Dick asks, cocking his head slightly to the side. Is it Danny's imagination or does his smile tense slightly?
"Yeah, I mean like, you know, in costume. It must make it so much easier to have everyone together like this."
"Costume? What do you mean?"
Yeah, Danny's not imagining it, everyone tenses up at that. It's really only now that he's realising that this probably isn't how he should bring up that he knows about their... night time activities. In fact, he probably shouldn't be bringing it up at all.
"Uuhhh..." Danny looks wildly around the table as he continues making his stupid noise. Think, think, think! There must be a way out of this!
"Danny?" Tim asks, looking concerned.
"Oh, Ancients, this isn't how I wanted it to go at all," he mutters, slipping even further into his chair. He's almost on the floor now and he so, so wishes it could just swallow him up.
His real first meeting with Batman was meant to be cool! He had planned to be Phantom, maybe save them from a tight spot, prove his worth as a mysterious and powerful ally as thanks for the help Batman gave him in the future.
"Danny, what are you talking about?" Tim starts tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to pull him back up from his pit of despair.
Eventually, Danny relents and sits up straighter, hiding his face in his hands and whining all the while.
"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect him to be here and it threw me off so now I look stupid and it's so embarrassing!" he wails, flailing his arms wide. "Why wouldn't you warn me that Batman was your adopted dad, Tim? Couldn't you have let me know?"
"I'm sorry, what? Danny are you alright? There's no way Bruce can be Batman, look at him!"
"Yeah," the blonde girl laughs from the bottom of the table, "look at him! That's a wet noodle of a man! Batman can actually do things, B is incapable of pretty much everything."
"Thank you, Stephanie," Bruce sighs, massaging his forehead.
It's... Those are the first words Danny's heard Batman say since everything went down and it's enough to knock him out of his embarrassment.
It's really good to hear his voice again. Especially now, when it's strong and healthy and full of personality—even if that personality is little more than a tired father right now—far better than how it had been, at the end.
Danny sits up, back straight, and grins. He's got this. He remembers it perfectly. Some people count sheep to fall asleep, Danny repeats his mantra to be certain that he'll never forget it.
"Gamma alpha upsilon tau iota mu epsilon, 42, 63, 28, 1 colon 65 dash 9."
Once again, the whole table falls into silence.
"Holy shit..." breathes the other D name (Duke? Danny's pretty sure he's Signal) from opposite Stephanie. "Isn't that...?"
"The time travelling code." The littlest Wayne says stiffly. "We have met in the future?"
"That's not just the time travelling code, Dami." Dick says, looking between Danny and Bruce. "That's the family time travelling code."
Danny's grin freezes in place.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"1 colon 65 dash 9." Dick explains, still flicking between him and Bruce. "It means you've been adopted into the family and we should all treat you as such, no questions asked."
"Tell you what, I'm about to ask a question." Danny says, dumbstruck. "You just told me it was a code to identify time travellers, not anything about being adopted! What the hell, B?"
Bruce looks about as shellshocked as Danny feels.
"We must have been close," he says finally, after opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water a few times.
"No! Not that close!" Danny reels back, taking a deep breath ready to refute it all, but... "Well, I mean, you found me when I first got stuck, and you helped me get better despite being... And then we fought together against the, uh, bad guy, before he, um, he... before you couldn't."
An uncomfortable beat passes while they all pick up on what Danny tried so hard not to say.
"So, you're not from the future, then, you travelled there and came back?" Tim asks, breaking the tension and leaning forward with a glint in his eye.
"Yeah, it was a whole end of the world thing, but don't worry about it," Danny says with a hand wave, "It's all kosher now, won't ever happen."
"What did happen?"
"Seriously, don't worry about it, we cool."
"How long in the future was it?"
"About ten years? You were pretty spry for an old man, B," Danny laughs, wishing they'd get off the topic of what happened and get back to the adoption bit.
Everyone shares degrees of a cautious smile as they relax out of the shock, and Dick—whose grin is the biggest—says, "No wonder you got the family code, you're already riffing on him like one of us. How long were you there for?"
"A week, before I managed to get back to my present and stop him then."
"A week? Jeez, B, that has to set some kind of record, seriously."
"Oh!" Danny says, sitting bolt upright and blinking in surprise before pointing at Dick and bouncing in his seat. "You're Nightwing!"
"What?"
"That's exactly what Nightwing said when Batman told me the code! Makes so much more sense now."
Dick laughs and claps his hands, delighted.
"You were not formally adopted?" The grumpy small one—Dami?—asks, his face pinched.
"I didn't even know I was informally adopted."
"And your parents? Are they alive or dead?"
"Damian, stop—"
"They were dead in the future, but they're alive now." Danny says, looking down. He fiddles with the tablecloth, twisting the fabric around his fingers as he fights down the pang of sadness that he always feels when he thinks of them now. He forces a bright smile on his face and hopes it doesn’t look too strained. "I just, uh, can't talk to them much, anymore."
"Damian," Dick warns, "1 colon 65 dash 9. Treat them as family, no questions asked."
"This is Damian treating him as family, the little turd has no manners." Tim scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he gently bumps shoulders with Danny to knock him out of his funk. Danny can't help but send him a watery smile.
"I have the most exemplary manners, Drake, unlike some people." Damian spits, crossing his arms with a pout. "I was merely ascertaining his status to see how he could possibly fit into the family."
"I know this is all a bit sudden, Danny," Bruce smiles, ignoring Damian and reaching out to lay a warm hand on his arm, "for all of us. But if I felt strongly enough to give you that code after spending a week with you in the future, then you are more than welcome in this family, if you so choose it. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we'd like to get to know you a bit more."
"I know a threat when I hear it, Bruce." Danny snorts. "But, yeah, I get it. I'm sorry this is all so weird, it really wasn't how I wanted to find you again, but... I'm glad I did."
"So are we, Danny." Dick says, with a warm smile. "And formally or not, 1 colon 65 dash 9 means you're family. Welcome to the fun house! No take backs or refunds, sorry. You're stuck with us."
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starcurtain · 2 months ago
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"The Lion Has Its Own Historian:" Parallels Between Gorgo and Aglaea
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While re-reading Mydei's "As I've Written" stories recently, I was intrigued again by the (seemingly impossible) section in which Aglaea unknowingly echoed Gorgo's words to Mydei, and this led me down a rabbit hole of thought: The roles of Aglaea and Gorgo--not only in Mydei's life but also in the story overall--form some interesting parallels that are worth looking at in closer detail.
Seize the Means of Control
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Gorgo's ascension to a position of authority was predicated on power--not only on her martial prowess, which was expected in her culture (i.e. slaying a lion with her bare hands), but through her courage to meet the existing symbol of authority, Eurypon, in single combat and not concede. In Kremnos, status is conferred and maintained through violence. Though on the surface Gorgo defies this belief, she ultimately remains an active participant in Kremnos's tradition of "might makes right" through the Kremnos Festival, reinforcing rather than rejecting her culture's military-centric social structure.
Although Gorgo originally took part in the Kremnos Festival with the intention of beating Eurypon and seizing the throne of Kremnos for herself (presumably because she thought she could rule better), she ultimately chooses to accept his continued leadership and become queen instead, even granting him an heir to cement his legacy. In this way, despite presumably wishing for a less wasteful (of life) philosophy for the Kremnoans, Gorgo becomes one of the foremost beneficiaries of the very mindset she opposes. She clearly wants to reduce the meaningless bloodshed in Kremnos--she strongly rejects the notion of patricide, for example--but she doesn't (at this point) reject the overall structures of the Kremnoan culture, including the belief that combat ability should determine who leads.
In short, her position of authority was achieved strictly through her ability to oppose her foes.
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Despite coming from a wholly different culture, one which (ostensibly) values debate, diplomacy, and the rule of law as the primary tools for establishing status, Aglaea's rise to power was remarkably similar to Gorgo's. The game confirms that the prominence and influence of the Chrysos Heirs in Okhema is no lucky accident--instead, Aglaea has clawed her way to the top, fighting tooth and nail to establish herself as a figure of authority in the Holy City.
We're told she exerts her pressure both through economic means, amassing wealth via monopoly on resources such as Amphoreus's internet, and through literal bloodshed.
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The story dances around it, but Star Rail's marketing embraces it: Aglaea represents not just the joy of love but also the "deadliness" of romance, the figure of power in Okhema "pulling the strings" and making others dance to the tune of her vision for the future. She basically rules the roost in the Holy City in large part because of her capacity for violence, because of the literal physical and political power she wields as a demigoddess and the leader of the strongest group of fighters on their entire planet.
This "silk concealing steel" behavior reflects not just how she approaches any who oppose her--the Trailblazer and Krateros, for example--but also how even the NPCs throughout Amphoreus view her:
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It's particularly Krateros's view of Aglaea which intrigues me, because the very same things he accuses her of are the things Castrum Kremnos is famous for (being warmongers, usurpers of power, etc.). By all rights, he should admire a "queen" such as Aglaea who rules by force and who is leading her people into the greatest war Amphoreus as ever known. And yet he and the rest of the Kremnoans seem to revile Aglaea for the very same things they saw as virtues in Gorgo.
The context is the key: Gorgo seizing power for herself is viewed as honorable and good because it happened in the context of Kremnos, while Aglaea's power struggle and military dominance occur within the so-claimed peaceful structure of Okhema's democratic society, casting her in the role of a "power-hungry tyrant" for the people living in Okhema, even those who should most appreciate her mindset.
Comparing Gorgo and Aglaea in this way highlights a key double standard in the way the Amphoreans react to women who rise to power, and makes it clear how thin the veneer of Okhema's "peace" really is. Stepping to the top rung of the social ladder through the threat of martial retaliation, Aglaea's battle against the Council and the Flame Chase's foes is no different from Gorgo tearing a lion apart with her bare hands, challenging a king, and taking her place at the top of Kremnos's hierarchy by seizing her weapon and making her stand. All that differs is how violence is received in their contrasting cultures, resulting in two diametrically opposed reactions from the "mere mortals" around them.
With Violence as Your Tool
I think it's important to emphasize that Aglaea and Gorgo also parallel each other not just in their rise to authority through physical power itself, but also in their stances on the necessity of that power: Both Aglaea and Gorgo (at least at first) view bloodshed as a necessary evil, an unpleasant facet of life that one must accept in order to achieve a goal. Violence, for both Gorgo and Aglaea, is a tool.
We see this clearly with Gorgo throughout her flashbacks, both in her initial fight with Eurypon (where she claims she would embrace the notion of death only so long as it is not "unnecessary") and in her other confrontations with Eurypon: Gorgo insists that the tradition of regicide must be broken and makes Eurypon promise not to lead Mydei to that path--yet later, she goes so far as to scold Eurypon when he shies away from his fate, essentially calling him a coward for fearing the prophecy that Mydei would one day kill him. "What prince of Kremnos hasn't killed his father?" she taunts, implying that, even as Gorgo fought to change the violent history of Kremnos, she still believed--at least at that moment--that refusing to face violence when it was foreordained made Eurypon a weak and unfit ruler.
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However, we ultimately see this stance change. In Mydei's dream of training with his mother, Gorgo reveals that nearly losing Mydei completely changed her perspective on Kremnos's beliefs, finally killing any faith she had in their system of rule and their constant pursuit of Strife for strife's sake. She rejects the notion of combat being the ultimate test of a person's worth, explicitly casts aside her title and role as queen of Kremnos, and embraces a kinder identity as strictly "Mydei's mother." This is a crisis of faith brought on by experiencing the impacts of Kremnos's faith firsthand--by being forced to experience grievous loss, Gorgo is implied to have grown as a person, from one who is willing to accept violence as a tool to get ahead, into one who solely values peace.
These views, too, mirror Aglaea's pursuit of the Flame Chase Journey and her "hidden" feelings toward its necessary loss. We know already that Aglaea views the threat of violence as her go-to "means to an end" when it comes to achieving the Chrysos Heirs' goals.
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She is not at all above putting people into harm's way to pursue the prophecy, such as letting Phainon take the Strife trial even knowing that he would fail, and she tells us players over and over again that her own humanity has nearly vanished, claiming that she now no longer has sufficient empathy for humankind to be swayed away from the path of Era Nova.
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This is clearly not true (given how deeply she cares for Tribbie, how kind she is to Castorice, and how unwilling she is to actually bring any harm to Anaxa), but Aglaea insists on this emotionless illusion likely because it makes it easier to tolerate the cruelty required to continue pursuing her goal--she needs it to be true that the last of her humanity has already waned, because this is what makes it easier to accept that the Flame Chase Journey is a journey of "loss," one that is fueled by bloodshed.
It is an unfortunate truth of the prophecy that people will die in pursuit of the dream, that capturing all the coreflames and pushing the world forcibly into its next cycle will cost lives and require cold, rational decisions that will crush people's happiness and freedom. Aglaea cannot hesitate, cannot waver, cannot choose kindness over action.
But, like Gorgo, we know that accepting violence as a tool does not mean that the person wielding the tool is always happy to do so. As Gorgo loses her genuine faith in Kremnos's beliefs and begins to view training Mydei for war as nothing more than a rote requirement, devoid of meaning, Aglaea too struggles to uphold her emotionless facade, a protective cocoon whose cracks reveal the enormous weight she is bearing and how deeply the inhumanity of her own decisions wounds her.
We see this clearly in her character stories, where the actions and then later loss of her maid completely reshape her definition of "beauty":
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And we also see it very clearly in her behavior toward Anaxa, where she hesitates at the crucial moment, unable to commit to the course of action that she herself set in motion:
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Like Gorgo who longs for a softer world where she can simply be Mydei's mother, Aglaea too (no matter how much she claims) has not lost the part of herself that cares not only for the people closest to her but even for the innocents of the world, the boy who wants to bring his sister something beautiful, the girl who shares her bracelet...
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Her nature, no matter how much of it has worn away, is at its core humble and kind--reviling the pain of others.
It's this fundamental conflict between love and what must be done that lends both Gorgo and Aglaea their depth as characters, that grants them both an air of nobility, in the way that everyone good who suffers is noble. Being forced to cause harm without a desire to do so creates quintessentially contradictory characters, making the audience privy to both their external mettle and their internal hesitation, easily humanizing both of them. Aglaea and Gorgo are virtuous women whose cruelty is justified for the greater good. Yet in watching both of them struggle under the immense pressure of that cruelty, we recognize the inherent evil of a world that forces kind-hearted people into positions where bloodshed is their only path forward.
Both Aglaea and Gorgo are not women who normally hesitate to seize the tools available to them, or the kind of women who will shy away from wielding their strongest weapon--the threat of death--with impunity. The reaction to female characters who are willing to exert this kind of power over others (including over the men in their lives) both in-game and in the fandom (where Aglaea in particular is treated poorly for her "coldness") demonstrates how unique this particular type of female character still is, and suggests interesting overall power dynamics in Amphoreus that privilege women willing to utilize violence even above men who choose the same route, despite the strong patriarchal bent one might expect of a story with ancient Greece as its primary influence.
Mydei is not the son of Eurypon, but explicitly and always "the son of Gorgo" even in flashbacks where Eurypon is still alive; in Okhema, both the Chrysos Heirs and the Council appear to be primarily directed by women (Caenis occupies the more visible role of Aglaea's opponent than Lygus does), with all of Okhema's demigods (including Cipher) being female. Gorgo's violence is regarded as honorable; Aglaea is met with disapproval from her peace-loving society but no one ever actually dares to stop her. Perhaps Krateros comes closest, by defying Aglaea's will and entering the Strife trial without her permission, but even he ultimately has to be rescued from Aglaea's clutches by Mydei, who explicitly invokes his mother's name to ensure Krateros's safety. Say it with me: The male character with the highest social status in all of Amphoreus has to rely on the power and reputation of his mother to rescue another man from a powerful woman. Amphoreus really said "Ladies first." 💯
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Anaxa's reactions to Aglaea are humorous but are also a perfect example of this overall social structure in Amphoreus which assumes strong women in power have an automatic degree of legitimacy because they are willing to seize violence as their means, despite violence being, in real-world cultures at least, stereotypically the domain of men. In 3.1, Anaxa simply accepts it as a given that he will become Aglaea's prisoner and that she will be able to do whatever she wants to him, because nothing in Okhema's social, political, or military structures would enable him to genuinely oppose her (if he even wanted to).
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Even in his (sort of) fake-out "siding with the Council" phase, all Anaxa does is move himself from the grasp of one powerful woman to the next, shifting from being Aglaea's prisoner to Caenis's ace. Cerces even has an entire voiceline where she points out word-for-word that Anaxa is functionally just moving from one woman's cage to the next. Caenis in particular seems to view Anaxa as an object, a biting dog she can keep on a leash until she sics him on her enemy. Anaxa obviously is not so easily manipulated, but Caenis's threat about karma eventually comes true, and he nevertheless suffers the final wrath of the Holy City's society, being judged more harshly than anyone else for his seeming unwillingness to submit to the power of either woman in control of Okhema.
Both literally and thematically, the game tells us players that Aglaea and Gorgo are courageous and effective leaders because they live by the blade, because they are willing to harden their hearts and do whatever it takes, whether that means taking another's life--or their own.
To Usher in a New Era
Of course what really distinguishes both Gorgo and Aglaea's willingness to cause harm from malevolent forces in Amphoreus is their ultimate intent. Although both women are willing to do whatever it takes, they do so only in service to a greater purpose, one that they believe will better their world. In this way, Amphoreus's writers reinforce the underlying impression in Amphoreus's plot that women are more trustworthy and reliable leaders than their corresponding male counterparts. Slight side note on this, but it's kind of funny just how consistent this is--even "outside" of Amphoreus, Welt and Sunday had to turn to Herta to save the day, while inside Amphoreus, Trailblazer is still relying on Acheron's advice to get them through. (When you cater to the incels so hard you somehow loop back around into writing staunchly feminist plotlines...)
The message, repeated and unsubtle, is that there is a link between women's leadership and righteousness, with both Gorgo and Aglaea representing an idealistic desire for a better future for Kremnos and Amphoreus as a whole--one by opposing fate and the other by enforcing it.
Both Gorgo and Aglaea face prophecies that promise to reshape the world as they know it, prophecies which require them to make decisions that will ultimately cost them their lives in a desperate bid to influence history toward the best path. Gorgo rejects the prophecy she is given, determined to protect Mydei despite the destruction the omens claim he will bring to Castrum Kremnos.
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Because of the players' predilections for Mydei, this choice to reject fate paints Gorgo as a heroine, an unselfish and moral person who will choose the life of an innocent child over she own safety. Her willingness to fight to the death to prevent Eurypon's atrocity against their son flies in the face of fate itself, attempting to stop an inevitable, self-fulfilling prophecy.
And, in fact, the game even teases us with the idea: What would Kremnos have been like if Gorgo succeeded? When Mydei returns to Kremnos, he either "envisions" or actually experiences (via timelines bleeding into each other), a seemingly parallel universe where Gorgo succeeded in saving him from the Sea of Souls, and where she clearly rallied the people of Kremnos to her cause. The Kremnos we see in that vision is entirely different from Eurypon's:
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The people are happy, rejoicing and at ease, talking about pomegranates and writing and playing games with kids, while the sun paints the whole city in a soft and gleaming gold.
Contrast that with the Kremnos that Trailblazer and Castorice find when they travel back into the past where Eurypon betrayed his wife and left Mydei in the sea:
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In the seemingly alternate timeline where Gorgo lives long enough to raise Mydei, the Kremnos we're presented with... looks a lot like Okhema. Looks a lot like the peaceful, idyllic Holy City where children frolic in the streets and the people are still full of light and life. By defying fate, we are shown (at least in some fragment of Amphoreus's timeline) that Gorgo achieves what she had longed for in Kremnos from the start, creating a better, gentler future for the people, prosperous and free of the cycle of Strife and meaningless violence that had plagued their kingdom for thousands of years. In this way, we can say that, for that lost timeline at least, Gorgo essentially achieved the Era Nova for Kremnos, ushering in a time of peace for her people. What Aglaea seeks, the game shows us that Gorgo was capable of achieving.
Conversely, Aglaea's path forward involves taking the complete opposite road: Rather than rejecting fate to create a better future, Aglaea seeks to embrace it. She has fully invested herself and her resources in the prophecy of the Flame Chase. She has to, because if there's no Era Nova to look forward to, then there's no hope at all for Amphoreus, and how can it be that something so beautiful is doomed to total destruction? If the Flame Chase Journey will end in a new start, if someone--anyone--will get to live to see the world born anew, then every sacrifice, every burden, every agony will have been worth it.
By embracing her prophesied fate instead of rejecting it, Aglaea is taking the same decisive stand as Gorgo, seizing the future of her world in her own hands and forcing Amphoreus along the path toward what she believes will definitely be a brighter future.
Not only does the description of Era Nova match the idyllic Castrum Kremnos we see under Gorgo's likely rule, but even the moments where both women truly make their stand and reckon with fate reflect each other as well: Gorgo demands her fellow Kremnoans stand with her, hoping they will see the wickedness of Eurypon's decision and reject blind faith in the prophecy they've been given. With her own strength, if even just Krateros alone had stood with her, she easily would have been able to push back against Eurypon's scheme. She lays out her vision for a different future, rejects the notions of the past, and is met with silence.
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Meanwhile, Aglaea faces the Council of Elders in Okhema, where the decision about the Flame Chase Journey hangs in the balance, waiting on the final vote of a single person to join up with her cause. Just like Gorgo, the alignment of even one person to Aglaea's cause will make proof of her righteousness, prove the she's right. Aglaea lays down the gauntlet, demands the loyalty of her allies--and her leadership and vision are rewarded when Anaxa joins up with the cause, tipping the literal balance of the scales towards the new era Aglaea believes her efforts will bring to fruition.
(In essence, at the end of 3.2, we get to watch Anaxa do exactly what Krateros failed to--stand on the side of the woman who wields justice.)
Ultimately, through they do it through diametrically opposite paths--rejecting and embracing prophecy, respectively--both women are characterized by their drive to create change, their refusal to accept a quiet descent into cruelty and darkness. Both take a stand, outlining their vision for the right way to go on, for a better, softer, brighter world, seeking the loyalty of comrades to legitimize their causes, and--failing that--willing to make the ultimate sacrifice of themselves to further their truly noble causes.
The strength of both women lies not just in their martial prowess, but in their unwavering dedication to a just cause, no matter the cost to themselves.
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Generational Influence
What actually started me off on this whole look at Gorgo and Aglaea as thematic parallels was Mydei's scenes with Aglaea, particularly how he clearly considers her a role model for ideal leadership. While I won't go so far as to say Aglaea perceives herself filling any sort of maternal role for Mydei, I think the connection is obvious on Mydei's end: Having never gotten the chance to truly meet his mother, Mydei is almost certainly projecting "the leader my mother would have been" onto Aglaea. (Or perhaps we should say the opposite: The empty spaces in Mydei's mind when he thinks of "Gorgo" are sutured closed with Aglaea's golden filigree.)
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Does this sort of praise sound a bit familiar? It ought to, because this is how Krateros describes Gorgo:
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Both women are characterized by their ability to move people's hearts, to inspire hope, and to model ideal strategy for others.
So how could Mydei do anything but link Aglaea's leadership with the life he imagines his mother would have led if she had had the chance to rule Kremnos?
Consider the entire situation from Mydei's perspective: His people have just been (forcibly) rescued from an insane king whose true downfall began with his betrayal of wife, their nation's one genuinely noble leader. If Gorgo had been their ruler, none of this suffering would ever have happened. Fleeing the madness and death Nikador is bringing to Kremnos, the entire surviving host of his people migrate to the "Holy City," the (supposed) last bastion of light and peace and happiness in Amphoreus--which is effectively ruled by a woman so powerful that she knows and sees all.
Seemingly effortlessly, she commands respect and fealty, marshaling her forces to do battle with the might of her own sword, while fighting to maintain the very same values Mydei's mother wanted to bring to her own nation. While being unafraid of bloodshed, she treasures life more than anything else. She's honest, direct, and unflinching, but still, despite everything, kind and dedicated to protecting the world she loves.
Mydei doesn't know his mother but there she is. There's the "queen" that his mother should have had the chance to be. There is the leader that Kremnos needed. There is the powerful woman whose dream for the future could have single-handedly changed the course of fate.
Clearly, for lack of personal experience, the Gorgo in Mydei's mind is less a real person and much more an idealized figure. His only direct knowledge of her comes from one "dream," where she tells him that he's more important than the world to her (undoubtedly leaving Mydei to grapple with the question of whether that is something she truly felt or something he just wishes to be true, by the way). Mydei's only other frame of reference for his mother is Krateros's blind veneration, with Krateros constantly holding Gorgo up as the standard Mydei should meet.
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Gorgo is clearly on an achingly high pedestal for Mydei. He shaped his entire youth around the need to avenge her, and then he shaped his entire adult ideology around her vision for Kremnos. In "our" timeline, Gorgo may not have lived to create the change she hoped for, but her goal was ultimately achieved nonetheless, through the inter-generational influence her memory had over Mydei. It was Gorgo's hatred of wasteful bloodshed that helped Mydei to hate it too. It was Gorgo's desire to change Kremnos's traditions that led Mydei to consider tearing down its dynasty. It's his mother's gentle love for her people that echoes in Mydei's same affection.
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And through Aglaea, all those views and lessons were enforced. Before joining up with the Flame Chase Journey, the game tells us that Mydei's life was effectively still a hellscape even when he had his friends: They wandered the land with nowhere to call home and were attacked by (or themselves attacked) everyone they met, engaging in endless violence just to keep existing, while he watched his companions be brutally murdered one by one. At the risk of extreme understatement: Mydei was not living the life his mother wanted for him.
After joining the Flame Chase Journey, Mydei becomes one of the "heroes" who dedicates himself to protecting innocents and serving as a guardian; he finds a cause, does his best to create a new home for his people, and works to reshape their views towards the beliefs his mother espoused. Like Gorgo putting down her weapon and taking up the role of "just your mother," Mydei gets to (temporarily, briefly) let down his guard and live as just a person, cooking sweets, roleplaying with kids, and cuddling with chimeras.
He inches closer to the dream of finding meaning in finding peace.
And if it was Gorgo who inspired those choices, then it was Aglaea who made them possible--Aglaea who accepted the Kremnoan Detachment into Okhema, Aglaea who literally put aside her fear of Mydei to accept him as a fellow Chrysos Heir, Aglaea who guided him, Aglaea who modeled transformational leadership for him, Aglaea who gave him the final (if forceful) push he needed to commit to changing his people's future, destroying the bloodstained Kremnos of the past. In all his struggles to move forward, the threads of Aglaea and Gorgo's mirrored ideology lead Mydei through the labyrinth of uncertainty.
All things considered, Gorgo might actually be the character with the single most significant impact on Amphoreus's current plot other than the Trailblazer, because the guidance and beliefs she instilled in Mydei will live much longer than Gorgo and even Aglaea herself--may even live on through the end of the world and the rebirth of all of Amphoreus, because it is her exact ideology that becomes the backbone of Mydei's life advice to Castorice. When Castorice reveals their future, telling him the demigods of today's Amphoreus will become the titans of the new cycle, Mydei looks her in the eye and tells her the exact thing he learned from his mother and Aglaea:
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Don't accept defeat--defy despair with everything you have and weave the future with your own two hands.
Perhaps nowhere do we see the parallels between Gorgo and Aglaea more clearly than in the "As I've Written" chapter, where we are told that what ultimately swayed Mydei's decision to join the Flame Chase Journey was when, completely without knowing it, Aglaea spoke the exact same words as his mother.
Though the organization of "As I've Written" is often unclear, making it difficult to determine which passages are actually linked to each other and which are entirely separate, I'm going to personally interpret the quote included in Mydei's third chapter as that special sentence once spoken by both Gorgo and Aglaea:
"The lion has its own historian, and the history of the hunt should not be held by the hunter alone."
Putting aside that all of this is completely impossible in the timeline as we know it (Mydei has no way of remembering the sentences his mother might have spoken to him, and none of the sentences in any flashbacks or her letter to him have anything to do with lions or historians), if this is the line echoed by both women, it is an obviously poignant phrase that would immediately signify to Mydei that Aglaea's ideology matches his mother's.
Although the English translation of "As I've Written" leaves A LOT to be desired (sometimes to the point of being entirely incomprehensible; I legitimately have no idea who okayed those translations, rife as they are with just straight up grammar errors lol), the origin of this phrase is unmistakable. It comes from the African proverb that is normally translated as:
"Until the lion has its own historian, the history of the hunt will always glorify the hunter."
Essentially, "History is written by the victors."
If we take the English translation seriously, what Aglaea and Gorgo would have been saying is that "the defeated" (which, by the way, is symbolized by the lion repeatedly in Kremnos's history) should have their own historian, and that no one should get to speak for them. That is, of course, that no one should get to speak for Mydei except himself--that he should take charge of his own destiny and write his own history into the books.
Krateros repeatedly insists that Mydei is the hunter, the one who should be controlling the whole hunting ground:
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But Aglaea sees through Mydei in the first moment of meeting him--sees that he's not the victor but the victim, not the Kremnoan king-to-be but the "wandering lion" who is at risk of being slaughtered on the altar of Kremnos's glory. Kremnos's history is not the "hunting lion"--it's the lion hunt. Gorgo the founder killed the lion, Gorgo the mother killed the lion... So where does that leave Mydei, the symbolic lion?
This line is saying, Aglaea and Gorgo would both have been saying: I see you. I see that there's an entire unspoken legacy weighing on your shoulders, a horror you're fleeing from like wounded prey, a fierce desire in you to refuse the tale this world is writing for you. And in supposedly echoing Gorgo's words, Aglaea would also have echoed the very core of Gorgo's faith:
Those who have lost everything still deserve the chance to shape their own futures.
Those who have faced impossible odds, those who Fate itself has marked for death, those who would martyr themselves to secure the futures of others can and should still rage against the dying of the light, still fight with every tooth and nail to bring about a different ending.
When no one but (apparently) the ghost of Gorgo in his head had ever said it to him, Aglaea told Mydei:
If you want a different history, you can write it.
Of course he joined the Flame Chase Journey after seeing that its leader carries the very same deep-rooted goodness as his mother.
And while we're here talking about the mirrored ideologies and guidance both women have offered to Mydei, I also want to add a tiny aside about Aglaea's symbolic leadership of the other Kremnoans as well.
Although of course Mydei remains their de facto leader even in Okhema, Mydei himself makes a big deal out of the Kremnoans having submitted to Aglaea's authority, repeating in several places that the Kremnoans have a duty to follow her commands.
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This isn't an off-hand statement; for someone who should have already been crowned king to state in his own words that his people should submit to someone else's authority is effectively tantamount to ceding his throne specifically to her--Mydei has essentially handed over the reins of Kremnoan leadership to Aglaea. He's the crown prince, but she's effectively the queen (that his mother never got to be). The promotional materials even label Aglaea and Mydei as occupying the same role ("King"). This is especially clear in how the Kremnoans refer to her. In multiple places, Aglaea is referred to as "the golden-haired usurper."
You don't get called a "usurper" unless people believe you're attempting to undermine their current ruler. In all but flat out saying it, the other Kremnoans perceive Aglaea as usurping Mydei's authority, despite Mydei himself willingly giving that power to her. Mydei isn't careless with the Kremnoans' futures, he doesn't shirk his duties as their crown prince, and he certainly would never surrender his power to a weak, unfit ruler. Undoubtedly, Mydei is comfortable with the idea of ceding authority to Aglaea in part because he recognizes his mother in her, sees the qualities that elevated Gorgo to royalty in Kremnos alive and well in Aglaea's Okhema. In this way, perhaps we could say that another factor contributing to Mydei's hesitance to take up Kremnos's throne might be a subconscious sense that the Kremnoans are already in the right hands, that Aglaea--embodying the ideal leadership Mydei projects onto the memory of his mother--is a better fit than he could ever be to lead them anyway?
Heck, while we're at it, I think it's even interesting that the cities of Okhema and Kremnos mirror each other so much, down to things that honestly don't make sense: We're told the legend explaining the lion heads on the walls in Kremnos, but... why are there are also talking lion heads all over Okhema's walls? Gorgo who tore the head off the Tretos lion is echoed in Aglaea, who rules a kinder, softer city still symbolized by the lion, where the talking lion heads get to be gossips and riddle masters instead of war strategists.
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Okay, and the last silly thing I want to say: Aglaea would definitely not call herself a mother figure for Mydei, but after 3.2 reveals Gorgo's tough love methods, Aglaea's attempts at scolding him start to look pretty familiar, from her exasperated chiding to her genuine criticism:
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Mydei has it tough, having to meet the expectations of women like these lol.
To Fade from the World
Sorry, that was a bit too light-hearted for me, so time to end this post with some more pain:
A final point I think worth comparing between Gorgo and Aglaea is the ultimate fate that both of them face in the story: Gorgo is already gone, but Aglaea is not far behind.
Gorgo's death in particular is treated as abominable. Kremnoans may be warmongers and Strife worshipers, but they're supposed to be honorable about it. Key to their obsession with combat is the idea of noble combat, between contestants who are each given a fair chance. Despite being Gorgo's greatest ally, Krateros does not stand up and join her in her revolt against Eurypon, likely because of that same "might makes right" mindset that shaped so much of Kremnos's decision-making: If Gorgo's cause was truly righteous, then she should have been able to stand up for it herself and win a duel against Eurypon. If it had been a fair contest as expected by Kremnoan cultural standards, then whoever won would have been considered the "correct" person, and no one could have contested the fair results.
But Eurypon's cowardice drove him completely from the path of Kremnos's sacred virtues, causing him to betray their values by betraying his wife, using poison to deny her her fair chance in the duel. This action--forsaking the core tenets of Nikador's divinity--marks the truest extent of Eurypon's downfall, and cements that he is utterly unfit to rule, lacking both the courage to confront his wife in fair combat and the honor to reject under-handed schemes to ensure victory.
Gorgo's death is treated as a tragedy, an act that entirely shapes the course of the story through Mydei's loss to the sea and his subsequent quest for vengeance. It was cowardly betrayal that took away Kremnos's path to a brighter future, locking the self-fulfilling prophecy of Kremnos's downfall into place.
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And this, of course, is a perfect mirror to the prophesied end Aglaea is going to face, possibly sooner rather than later. Upon their ascension as demigods, each Chrysos Heir is told how their life will end. Aglaea's prophecy states: "You shall have your final bath in warm and radiant gold."
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As Aglaea is most often seen there, the assumption is that she will literally die in the baths--Mydei states this in-game, saying "If a normal person heard that prophecy, they'd probably just stop coming to the baths." Aglaea effectively dismisses this threat (in a very Kremnoan fashion even, lol) by simply saying "Well, who cares? I like baths!" Whatever will be, will be; if her assassin has the strength to end a demigoddess, then truly, it doesn't matter where she goes in Okhema or across the world--fate will find her.
Of course, there's also the possible interpretation that "final bath in gold" refers simply to bathing in her own golden Chrysos Heir blood...
But in either case, the prophecy, Mydei's comments, and some plot leaks I've seen all point towards a violent and unexpected end--likely at the hands of a betrayal.
Like Gorgo, Aglaea will not live to see the world she wished to create, the softer, golden future she wanted to bring to her people. At the hands of her enemies, either facing it with honor or in an unexpected moment of vulnerability, Aglaea will be eliminated before the final hour, fading from Amphoreus's memory as the survivors succeed--or fail--to usher in the new era she sacrificed everything to create.
Although both unique characters on their own, entirely separate from each other, examining Aglaea and Gorgo's parallel plot points, core character traits, and their roles and influences on others throughout the course of the story reveals yet another incredible "echo effect" in Amphoreus's writing, aligning opposites--Okhema and Kremnos, Beauty and Strife--through eerily similar patterns and revealing the enduring thematic threads that bind together the separate portions of Amphoreus's tale.
More than anything, Amphoreus feels to me like a very Hamilton-esque "Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?" plot, one that hinges on the question of who has the power to shape and reshape the future of their world, who has the power to break through a pre-ordained structure and bring about a better end--who has the courage to sacrifice it all to seize the reins of fate itself.
Through Aglaea and Gorgo, the story reinforces a message about women in power, women who perfectly balance violence (the traditional domain of male figures) with love, with beauty, and with righteousness to shake the foundations of their world. In what they value and how they lead, the story mirrors and mirrors again, mise en abyme, the message that those who are willing to give it all for the greater good are the true crafters of our story.
(Perhaps all this is preparing for the presence of another woman, one just as willing or more to do all that must be done to usher in a brighter future for her world?)
The history of the hunt should not be held by the hunter alone.
The lion has its own historian--and so too does the lioness.
Although Gorgo and Aglaea will both fall before that golden Era Nova can be achieved, the marks they have left on Amphoreus's plot, through their legacies of defiance and grace picked up and carried, torch-like, by other characters, demonstrate just how central both women were to all that happened in the world's past and all that will happen in its future.
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spectascopes · 2 months ago
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Red watching Blue chop some firewood and having a normal reaction that normal people have
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lalalalalalala-okokokokok · 4 months ago
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I feel like a lot of people don't talk about the similarities and differences between scorpius and albus that shape so much of their relationship. For example, the whole beginning (and most likely a lot of the future) of their lives are shaped from both of their fathers' actions. Albus has been famous since he was a baby and put on a pedestal because of Harry. Meanwhile, Scorpius has been hated and seen as lesser than everyone also since birth because of Draco being an ex-death eater. This already creates a lot of similarities between the two, which I think is very important. Another thing I think is important in their dynamic is how different they are. Scorpius, despite being the opposite of his father and being a literal child that has never even had the chance of fucking up like Draco did, is treated as if he has done so much wrong simply because of his father. However, Albus is treated like absolute shit by almost everyone, even though he is most like his father out of his whole family, with his hair, his eyes, his mood swings, his recklessness, and more. Albus is hated for everything that's different between him and Harry, while Scorpius is hated for everything similar between him and Draco. Those differences but many similarities in both of them are what makes them so complex and interesting. They can't really be put into those dynamics like Ying and yang or "opposites attract," and that's what makes their dynamic so unique, which I LOVE so so so much.
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artblocked · 4 months ago
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Fucked up creature that spawns from the Ultimate Weapon after four souls stew in it for God knows how long honestly
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ai-the-broccoli · 5 months ago
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enemies to lovers / but you'll never own my heart
@luzon-dove happy birthday, Quinn!! As a present, I decided to draw a piece fanart of your "blood in the walls of the yagami house" AU fic series, since I found it very well-written and full of super interesting ideas and concepts. I hope you like it!
#i (ai)#death note#light yagami#l lawliet#fanart#lawlight#own art#I actually really wanted to write a comment to it but as of the time I'm scheduling this post I still haven't been able to get around to it#but like. GOD. it's good?? like at first when I heard about this AU I wasn't very interested & didn't really get the point#(for me personally I mean. bc I was like 'okay I don't get the idea of lawlight as brothers')#but after that I saw your posts more and also read other fics from you. and your writing your other fics are awesome#plus we also talked more and became friends; you're very nice and your takes are really good#so eventually I checked the series out and WOW. holy shit???? I almost regret not reading it sooner because jesus christ it answered my#initial question & way more. like RIGHT I get it now. it's actually so perfect as a setup all of it. I was greatly impressed#and all characters and relationships are so compelling and well-written and everything. aside from lawlight I especially LOVE your misa#and yagamane. and just. holy shit one of the things that compelled me the most was the family setup of the yagamis#L the bastard son and disgrace of the family... Light. his property. who doesn't want to be. perfect child. could've been a perfect family.#and yet. so he tries to kill L. over and over again. because he could've been perfect could've been normal could've been clean could've--#... if not for L's existence. GOD. and the mind games!! it's so compelling and excellent like idk how to put it#my initial disinterest was caused by 'idk how lawlight would be half-brothers like how would it even work' but as I read I was like. MAN#there's no more perfect answer to that than this like literally HOW did you manage to make this basically 'DN but the conflict is family-#-drama and incest' and make it WORK exactly well. thematically. in terms of plot. for characters and relationships. and everything#absolutely incredible. so anyway yeah I made this!!#incest cw#<- just in case anyone wants to filter it out#alrighty I guess I did write a comment here! though I was also hoping to like comment on details and specific lines
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cosmichorrorlesbians · 8 months ago
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what's your dissertation about? you mentioned it in the siltcord and i'm really interested
oh my god hey I'm so happy you're interested! broad strokes because I've only been working on it for a few weeks but: the current theme is 'resistant landscapes' (both man-made and natural) in the later writing of Shirley Jackson!
Essentially, my main thread is that Jackson had two parallel strands to her work, which as far as I can tell began kind of interrelated but then diverged quite significantly? She's probably best known now for The Haunting of Hill House and to a lesser extent We Have Always Lived In The Castle, which are these. weird surreal psychological horror novels, engaging explicitly or implicitly with the supernatural, and centred around introspective, strange and sometimes deeply misanthropic female characters from isolated social units with dysfunctional, possessive relationships to each other.
Aaaaand then on the other hand she was known for being a 'happy housewife' who wrote these whimsical, quasi-autobiographical stories about all her children and how hopeless her husband was. These were popular too. Betty Friedan called her out in landmark 1963 feminist manifesto The Feminine Mystique for essentially spreading patriarchal propaganda.
The interrelation between the two is really jarring, because in one family is a source of horror and tragedy and in the other it's a source of, like... laundry. And Jackson's home life wasn't everything those stories made it out to be-- her marriage was unfaithful, her mother could probably be fairly called emotionally abusive, and as I talked about on the siltcord, she developed severe agoraphobia which often left her housebound.
So, yeah. My plan is to explore the depiction of families as constructed social units in dialogue with the environments they are constructed in in that work. Obviously a lot of that is relation of house to family, in the context of which Hill House is especially rewarding to consider, but I also want to look at relationships with nature and urban environments (especially in the context of settler colonialism and how that has had an enduring legacy in Jackson's particular part of New England), xenophobia (largely in regard to class, though racism and anti-Semitism are presences in her writing), domesticity and the idea of the housewife, and how horror relates to All Of This. The ideal of making a home within a hostile environment and of that environment turning on you, essentially.
I don't yet have particular areas of focus within that broad umbrella, but I might update with bits and pieces about it as I work? I don't really talk about academic stuff on here but I am very much Critical Literary Analysis Guy and I do also post relentlessly about haunted houses as a concept so if people would be interested in it maybe I will
anyway if you've read this far I recommend Horror in Architecture: The Reanimated Edition (2024) by Joshua Comaroff and Ong Ker-Shing which is a book about how horror movie tropes can be mirrored in built environments! I'm reading it right now and it's conceptually fascinating plus fairlyyy comprehensible by academic standards (if a little dense) if you, like me, are a Fool who knows nothing of architecture. very good also for getting to look at pictures of some of the most Fucked Up Buildings (affectionate) you've ever seen.
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love-fireflysong · 3 months ago
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I'm just saying you guys, if you're a fanfic author and you're going through a rough period where you keep feeling like your writing is shit and awful and just absolute garbage, just reread your own work.
You don't even have to look at the comments if you're going through a particularly nasty patch where you're convinced everyone is just lying and was only saying nice things to spare your feelings. Just reread the fic itself. It'll change your mind so quick I promise.
There's seriously nothing quite like clicking on what is *your* most popular fic and going 'Oh. I get it now. I think I understand why other people actually like this one so much holy shit'.
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larix-laricina · 8 months ago
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ok i got home and basically spent the entire afternoon thinking about the au. so uhhhh,,, here's some character sketches and notes
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(click it for better quality cuz TUMBLR FUCKIN HATES ME OH MY GOD WHY)
btw for context, MePhone gets kicked out of Meeple headquarters for failing a mission near the start of the story. that's basically his drive, he wants to prove he's a good hunter so he'll be let back in and get his old life back. (bad idea lmao) (it does NOT end up going the way he wants to)
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ajdrawshq · 29 days ago
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chapter 4 yipp e!!!!!!!
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mbirnsings-71 · 6 months ago
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"I will fall in love with you, over and over again."
"'Would you fall in love with me again?' The question is spoken quietly, even though there's no need for quiet, but something about how gently it's asked shakes Eddie. 'You ask that as if I would ever fall out of love with you, Buck.' 'Haha very funny, now humor me. Would you fall in love with me again?'" -------------------------------------- Basically Buck asks Eddie a question and Eddie answers it as best as he can for him.
Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)
Pairing: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Tags: Cuddling & Snuggling, Evan "Buck" Buckley Has Abandonment Issues, Evan "Buck" Buckley Has Self-Worth Issues, if you squint cause like it's just a throw away sentence but yeah, Eddie Diaz Loves Evan "Buck" Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley Loves Eddie Diaz, they just love each other basically, that's it that's the whole fic they just love each other, and reassure each other that they would always love each other, No Beta We Die Like Buck did for three minutes and 17 seconds, or how Bobby did for like 15 minutes, Post-Episode: s08e08 Wannabes (9-1-1 TV), cause I mention it soooooo yeah gotta tag that appropriately, Canon Compliant, Kissing, just one kiss but it should be tagged, One Shot, Praying they aren't super OOC! We will see, first published work in this fandom so please be nice!
Complete | 1,714 words | Read on Ao3
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trash-gremlin · 1 year ago
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could you imagine how good spirit animals would be if it wasn't written as a children's series
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sillygoofyqueer · 1 year ago
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THIS IS GOING ON MY MAIN BECAUSE I JUST HAVE TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT THIS FANFICTION BROKE ME. I'M CURRENTLY VIBRATING. UNABLE TO THINK OR PROCESS ANYTHING. I HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY AND NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. LORD ALMIGHTY. @vinelark, YOU HAVE SINGLE HANDEDLY GRIPPED ME INTO THIS PLOT AND I'M THIS CLOSE TO SOBBING AND THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR WRITING IT AND I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I WOULD WHIP OUT A RING FOR YOU AND I'D LEAVE YOU AT THE ALTER AND AND AND
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cookie-lore-keeper · 4 months ago
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@the-light-of-truth
To whom it may concern,
Greetings! I write to you from my study in the Vanilla Kingdom with a plea for knowledge. My dear friends recently approached me, and we had an intriguing discussions about redemption and forgiveness. Though my friends are young, they are in no way inexperienced, and boast bravery and courage that many grown cookies do not have.
We’ve recently run into quite the predicament regarding the themes we discussed, and as a result we’ve hit a roadblock in our quest. I’ll spare you the details, but learning of a cookie with great knowledge regarding cookiekind was an answer to our hopes. Though I must admit this ritual for sending a letter is rather odd, I’m willing to do anything to help out a friend.
Unfortunately, my request is not simple. I require a spell to limit the power of a Beast, while still allowing them to roam free in the outside world. I have no doubts as to the power of your knowledge and abilities, but I realize that this is a rather large favor. I am willing to provide compensation in the form of knowledge, as I’ve heard it’s what you prefer. That said, I would rather wait to make sure I’m not writing to a ghost, lest this letter fall into the wrong hands.
I thank you for your time and consideration, and wish you the best on your quest for knowledge.
With love and light,
Pure Vanilla Cookie
A message given to Pure Vanilla Cookie from a dream.
"Hm... a spell that limits a beast's power yet still allows them to roam free. That's a might fine ask you got there, Vanilly.
"When it comes to information on the cookie world, I'm happy to give some. But, this is knowledge of a spell that's used by the witches. When it comes to the witches and wizards, I can't give such valuable information to them away for free. You understand this, right?"
Half-Moon Cookie leans in with their hands behind their back and giving a mischievous smile.
"I'll do it, but I need valuable information in return. While my archives are vast, I can only recall events that have happened in Earthbread's past, and I can only see through one timeline. Every other timeline is fuzzy to me.
"But, you, my Vanilla friend, have been in multiple timelines. When you were Fortune Teller Cookie, you were able to see the events of a future timeline that I am unable to reach.
"I'll give you the spell necessary to complete this task, but, in return, you have to tell me of the timeline where you failed. You have to tell me of the timeline where your friends crumbled at the bottom of the tower. You have to reach into the deepest crevices of your memory and soul and tell me everything about the timeline where just one simple decision lead Shadow Milk Cookie to succeed in his quest for the soul jam, leaving the world in the image of the beasts that have corrupted it before."
Half-Moon Cookie's demeanor suddenly becomes overly cheerful as they sit back on their magic spoon.
"That seems like a fair trade, doesn't it?"
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freaky-flawless · 1 year ago
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Finally finished with these two! Which is ironic since they were the first ones I drew lol. You can find Tori's old ref here!
Some more info on them under the cut:
As much as he doesn't want to acknowledge it, its pretty much an open secret to everyone that knows of him that Kris is the estranged son of Krampus. From a young age he was opposed to following in his fathers footsteps, and for years tried his best to fight against it. Once he hit high school, he struck up a deal with his dad that he would pick up the mantle once he graduated. Kris agreed and promptly dropped out just shy of his graduation date. And he's been living on his own ever since.
He works at a gas station near Monster High, and is well liked by the students for his surprisingly good advice and tendency to turn a blind eye towards obviously fake IDs. His apartment is near New Salem University where he spends a lot of his free time hanging out with his buddies from school, one of them being Luci Ferguson, the heir of hell. The two go way back, they're dad's being close friends. As it stands Kris is cruising through life without much of a care in the world, or so it seems. Deep down he regrets his decision to cut his education short, and feels his life is pretty directionless.
Tori is a Zodiac Monster, a rich and exclusive community of monsters who tend to only congregate amongst themselves. While being a Zodiac monster may have meant something long long ago, nowadays it's little more than a title, one that denotes a lot of social power. That pressure, as well as all the drama and critiques that come with living in such a tight-knit social circle, leads to Tori wanting an out, or at least a break from the Zodiac Monster lifestyle. She finds her chance once it's time for her to go to college.
While Tori is very sweet and tries her best to be considerate of others, she's also somewhat naive and socially awkward. She has a tendency to say very out of touch things, not immediately recognizing that not everyone grew up as wealthy and privileged as she did. Regardless she's very open-minded and enjoys hearing all sorts of different perspectives. She;s incredibly grateful when Fangel, Demonique, and Luci take her under their wings, especially since she's starting completely new in terms of making friends. It doesn't take long for her to meet Kris and become fascinated (and even somewhat enamored) by his sloppiness and carefree lifestyle.
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