aedan-mills

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neil and todd would've kissed during the eclipse while everyone was looking away 🥰👍

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which is why it's my anguish film XD

bitches be like “this is my comfort film”

and then bring out Dead Poets Society

they squeeze all the comfort out of it and contradict it with pain

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gotta be one of the best twink death dilf births that I've ever seen

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IM CRYING CUZ NOW I CAN BINGE WATCH ALL THIS NEW RSL CONTENT HAHAHAH I HAVE TRULY REGRESSED

RSL nation, new interview just* dropped

*It was earlier this month, but I just came across it

My beloved taglist that I haven’t tagged in a while: @fumblelace @aedan-mills 

Also, @samnyangie I think you’ll like this :))

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It has come to my attention that we aren't talking about RSL making a shameless plug of Malaparte's fundraising using a cardboard sign

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Robert Sean Leonard in the Williamstown Theatre Festival’s reading of Three Sisters; July 29-30, 2023.

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it's taking every fiber in my body not to save these photos into my laptop since I literally have 700+ photos of him already

Robert Sean Leonard photographed by WWD Fall 1994 Benefit for Malaparte Theater Company, Irving Plaza, NYC | 1994

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NO BODY BOTHERED TO TAG ME?!?!?!?!?! HELP I MISSED HIM SO MUCH

NEW INTERVIEW WITH RSL

I haven't even watched it yet! He's talking about Richard Easton, who played "old" AE Housman in the same play RSL played "young" AE Housman, The Invention of Love. They both won Tonys for it.

Now I've watched it, and it's wonderful. Thank you, Mr. Easton, for changing RSL's life!

But I would like to request that RSL stop looking more and more like my dad as he ages, please. Can't consider him a DILF if he looks like my dad, hmph.

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OH MY GOD

Well it’s been a long time actually posting here but this is another I found from the Chelsea walls era haha

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when the most wonderful woman and the most attractive man ever exist met each other.

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RSL in "The Gilded Age" (2023)

Season 2 Episode 1

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WHAT THE HECK??? I WROTE THIS????????

Worse than Blood (CHADD Fic)

(First of all thank you to @auxctor for beta-ing this?! my first beta ever and I love what you did <3)

Charlie/Todd + AnderPerry Angst incoming (CW: Neil's death, angst) now on Ao3!

Charlie Dalton and Neil Perry were as close as brothers. Probably even closer. Even if you say that blood was thicker than water, whatever was running through their veins was much more dense and viscous.

Charlie and Neil fought different battles yet they were irrefutably the same kind of person. Adventurous, albeit impulsive, fun-loving, and clever young men, these two were destined to be best friends who had to face the world around them.

However, as Charlie would soon realize, they weren't the same. The world had to remind Charlie that he and Neil were different, in more ways than one. Though they wore the same uniform to school, their grades were different. Though they both went to Welton, a prestigious prep-school, Neil's parents thought that fact wasn't enough. Though they both had passion in their hearts, Neil wasn't allowed to reach for them like Charlie could.

Charlie was never jealous of Neil because of this, he fought tooth and nail to make sure Neil looked good in front of his parents, taking the blame for almost all their antics together. He did his best to make sure Neil was happy when he was at Welton, when he was away from his parents, free to be himself. But it wasn't enough.

Every time Neil checked into his dorm room, every time Charlie would chime in and ask how his summer went with a jester-like grin, Neil would always sound morose or even quite aggravated.

Except for one year. Their junior year of High School.

Charlie sauntered once more into Neil's room, putting up his usual schtick of asking about his summer but Neil seemed... different. It wasn't huge, but he seemed to be excited about something. Charlie soon realized there was another boy in Neil's room, the new kid.

Nothing really compelled Charlie to act so cool, but he figured the new kid needed to see how ‘cool’ Welton was. So Charlie lit up a cigarette and laid back on Neil's bed.

Neil eventually introduced him as Todd Anderson. After Meeks introduced himself, he and Todd shared a short yet memorable glance. Of course, being Charlie Dalton, he flashed him a smirk, making Todd even more skittish. Not that this fazed Charlie, but it was kind of cute how shy Todd was from the get-go.

At first, Charlie felt sorry for Todd, seeing how nervous he was in Nolan's office. Poor kid couldn’t even say he wanted to join the Rowing Club properly. He noticed how aloof Todd was when it came to joining their study group. Neil tried to ask him to come along but he refused. Charlie figured if he asked him, maybe he could've convinced him on the first try.

When Neil decided to restart the Dead Poets Society, Charlie instantly joined his brother, seeing how happy it made him to gain immediate encouragement. They soon got Cameron, Meeks, Pitts, and even Knox in, but not the Todd fellow.

Pity soon turned into sympathy when Charlie saw Todd shyly studying on his own while he and the others discussed the way to the cave. After being silenced by Mr. McAllister, Neil made his way over to Todd. Charlie observed how close they were, how intimately Neil asked Todd to join. He knew Neil was incessant that way, still wanting things to go his way if he could help it. Todd fluttered his eyes the more Neil leaned in and Charlie could only marvel by how dense his best friend was. Poor kid must have been very intimidated by Neil.

The more Charlie got to know Todd, the more their Dead Poet Meetings became a success amongst themselves, the more Charlie would appreciate his company. He'd see that Todd was much more sarcastic and wittier than he initially thought him out to be. Neil made sure to remind him of that too.

The day Charlie's brotherhood with Neil changed was the day he would be sitting idly by his bed, passing the time with his bongos while Cameron was gone. Neil hurriedly barged in his room before closing the door behind him. It wasn't the fact that Neil dropped to the floor and basically told Charlie that he had feelings for Todd and that his heart was about to burst from so much infatuation that made Charlie's own heart pang like it did. It was the simple fact that it was the same time he realized he liked Todd Anderson too.

For every reason Neil listed down about his feelings for Todd, Charlie would nod-- not in acceptance, but in agreement. Neil and Charlie were truly brothers, two twins separated from birth, and could very well be the same human being, even to the point that they loved the same person. It was a bitter realization for Charlie, to wish so badly he wasn't the same as Neil in that regard.

He watched as his best friend became closer to someone he liked. He watched as Neil and Todd grew even more dependent on each other. He watched as Todd's lips began to smile just by being around Neil alone.

Charlie never needed to know if Todd returned Neil's feelings, to be honest, he never wanted to know if they'll end up together. Charlie thought: what could be worse than seeing your best friend romance the love of your life? To watch Neil on stage perform amazingly while Todd whole-heartedly applauded him towards the end? What could be worse than this feeling?

Charlie's question was sorely answered one Winter morning. On the day he was informed that Neil had passed away without leaving a note or any form of resolution, nothing for Todd. Charlie was tasked with one of the worst things on Earth, with being the one to tell Todd about Neil's death.

How should you feel about this? How should you feel when you tell your best friend's crush that he died? How should you feel when you tell the person you're in love with that someone who loved them, probably even more than you, died? How do you tell Todd Anderson that Neil Perry fucking died? Before he could confess. Before Charlie got to see how this ended. Before he would know how Todd felt about either of them.

Charlie couldn't understand why Neil left before he had the chance to spend his life with Todd, or even continue living in general. He couldn't fathom why Neil would leave him alone too. His brother left him, he left Todd, he left them all in this barren and cold wasteland. Charlie couldn't understand Neil anymore. Charlie, for the first time, couldn't accept what Neil thought his life was like. The stuff in their veins, drained from their shared experiences and poured out into the snow like a giant red target. A giant signal just reminding them of how vastly different they were.

Charlie, for a miniscule moment, thought Neil being gone was the mark of him not understanding people anymore.

It wasn't until he saw Todd vomiting onto the snow that he realized this wasn’t true.

Todd was desperately muttering words, desperately trying to get everyone to understand Neil's unfortunate turn-- that it was his Father who killed him. As Todd bawled and stuttered his words, all Charlie could do was watch the truth unfold.

As Todd yanked himself away from their grips, throwing a desperate yawp, shouting Neil's name towards the frozen lake, that's when Charlie saw it.

Todd was in love with Neil. He always has been.

Todd loved Neil, more than Charlie could love either of them. They were more inseparable, much faster than Charlie could ever attempt to be with Neil when they were growing up. Todd was aware of how different Neil and him were and yet he knew they could make it work. Todd's aching call into the void was him knowing what he and Neil could've had, better than Charlie will ever have with either of them. And that made it all the while worse.

What's worse than finding out your best friend loves the same person as you? Worse than your best friend dying? Worse than telling the person you love your best friend died?

Finding out that the person you're in love with just lost the only person they'll ever love and that it was your best friend.

The liquid that used to run in Charlie's veins began to solidify and constrict his heart. They muddied his soul and left nothing for him to feel. With his realization, Charlie's heart was no longer pumping with blood, but something much thicker and bleaker. Something much worse than jealousy. Anguish.

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just visiting <3

he guys! Missed me? I've been doing lots of IRL work for rent and bills XD but recently while I was selling, someone brought up my DPS fanart and asked if I was still selling them hahha got me thinking... maybe for pride month I'll sell some DPS merch >:3 I miss drawing our favorite white boys

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boo

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you almost gave me a heart attack in the middle lkajkldsajda

omg anderperry au where when the younger soulmate turns 17 you start getting the stuff they lose (you guys remember that au right but with a fun change in this version)

todd and neil share the same dorm room

so shit todd loses just appears in his room just closer to neil and vice versa

and so todd and neil both think that either theyre the older one or htey just dont have a soulmate

until

until

UNTIL

the night of the play todd goes to his dorm exhausted emotionally and takes his tie off and tosses it somewhere and loses it just as neil is about to leave his room and head to his father’s office 

he stops when he sees the tie

winter passes, spring passes and its suddenly summer vacation and todd is still waiting for his soulmate and neil thinks his soulmate just never loses shit

anyway

summer vacation comes and todd finally starts getting stuff but he’s a mess because he’s half in love with neil and he feels like a cheater because he wants it to be neil so bad even though neil’s a little older than todd so it cant be him because todd only just started receiving stuff

anyway summer vacation and todd invites neil over and neil walks in and “hey! i’ve been looking for that hoodie for ages !” 

and yeah

probably a lot of angst in between but im in a good mood so imma just let you imagine it other than telling you about it <333

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sorry to all my new followers, it seems that even I am engrossed in my old posts too (sorry for the reblog spam)

Ethan Hawke in Gattaca + GUY.exe (6ft Tall and Super Strong)

Yes, I'll accept the bonks now, thanks

This one goes out to all those who are simultaneously in love and/or gender envious of this version of Ethan Hawke <3

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don't mind me, just simping men twice my age

Born Too Late | Robert Sean Leonard + Ethan Hawke

Born Too Late by The Poni-Tails

Yes I spent way too long on this simple impulsive video laksjdlkajd I've been thinking about this audio on Tiktok for too long and we all know who I would think of the whole time.