#HAD to come off as serious and stuff as a person

[colossrat]

the beginning is not what it seems, I promise it will be a funny approach Mary: I can’t believe you got a girlfriend and didn’t tell me!!

She’s upset because she and Marvel promised to always tell each other everything, not because of the supposed girlfriend itself

Cap: I don’t have a girlfriend! We’re just talking

Mary: Stop lying to me!! Did you even stop to think what Mom would think about this?!

And by “this”, she means lying to each other, not dating someone.

Cap: You don’t need to remind me, Mary. I was there when I made that promise to her. I’m keeping my word.

It’s been maybe eight years since their mom made them promise to never lie and to stay friends forever. They were around 4 or 5 years old, it was before their parents passed away.

Cap: Mary, please... I’m not lying or hiding anything from you. I was just talking to that lady. I’m not breaking the promise I made to her… I would never do that. Okay? I would never do that to her… or to you.

Mary: Just… tell me things first. I don’t like hearing stuff from other people. They gossip! They’re saying all kinds of things about you.

Cap: And you believed them? Mary, I would never do anything that would hurt you or Mom…

Then they hug, a warm sibling moment where they talk it out and fix the misunderstanding. Mary was a bundle of nerves because it wasn’t the first time Marvel didn’t tell her something first, and she heard about it from someone else. She was scared they were growing apart :(

But here’s the twist:

Some members of the Justice League who were around during this thought Marvel had made a promise to Mary’s dead mother, his ex-wife, that he’d never move on with anyone else. And that Mary keeps holding him to that promise, reminding him of his dead wife and not letting him move on without guilt. Nobody really blames either of them, they understand both sides… it’s complicated.

They start noticing the little things Marvel does. He never, ever, shows romantic or sexual interest in anyone, man or woman. He’s extremely respectful and always careful not to come off as too friendly. Some of the League members start feeling sorry for him. From what they know, Cap is immortal, or at least going to live for a few more centuries, and that’s a long time to be stuck in the past. But some of them understand… sometimes, love is hard to move on from. And there’s Mary, who doesn’t seem ready to see her father with someone else that is not her mom

Later, Flash and Hal not only stop trying to set Marvel up with other heroes, but they even start helping him out when some hero, villain, or civilian tries to flirt with him.

Batman recommends a few therapists for both him and Mary, family therapy, a whole list of suggestions

There was one time they went out for some bonding routine. Marvel didn’t drink (he doesn’t like alcohol), but he was relaxed enough to spill a little:

Marvel: I’ve actually been liking someone lately. nothing serious. They’re just a very kind and smart person and… and I could really see myself with them, you know? But Mary… I don’t think she’d like that. And it’s important to me that if I’m going to have any kind of relationship, she’s okay with it, and that she gets along with them.

And he looks so sad and demotivated… Batman is the first to give him a couple of firm slaps on the back in support.

The reality is that Billy is actually liking someone, but it just so happens that this someone is (reader’s choice) a person Mary absolutely cannot stand. And Billy’s terrified of saying “I’m dating [person]!” and hearing Mary go “OH HELL NO.”

But from the League’s point of view, what they see is Marvel wanting to move on… but being stuck because Mary isn’t ready to move on with him and he’s not willing to leave her behind!

[astars-things]

Can you write a fic where Lando and Hughes sister!reader are at the lake house with the brothers and Quinn invites this girl and she’s like all over lando and flirting with him and lando is like completely oblivious to the fact that she’s hardcore flirting with him until you start giving him the silent treatment and it ends in a big fight.

Also, sorry if your name is Abby it was the first name that popped into my head

1.2K Words

You knew when someone was using you to get to your brothers, it happened more times than you would like to admit, but when a girl was using your brother Quinn to get to your boyfriend Lando, it was a different story. Ever since you were introduced to her, you had a gut feeling about her, but couldn't figure it out.  

"Hey y/n/n, when is Lando getting here? Abby wants to know," Quinn asked, popping his head into the kitchen where you were cutting up some fruit, you and Lando had travelled here separately, as Lando needed to go to MTC for a fitting. "Umm, let me check", you muttered, pulling out your phone to check Landos' life 360 location. This whole thing felt weird. Ever since Jack asked you last night if Lando was coming to the lake house, Abby has been constantly around you and constantly bringing Lando into every conversation. 

 You opened Life360, the little circle with Lando’s face moving along the road "He is about 20 minutes away", you said, trying your hardest not to let out an eye roll. Quinn grinned and ducked back out, probably off to tell her. Again. You tried to act like it didn't bother you because you just wanted to be a good little sister, but the feeling in your stomach wasn't going away anytime soon. 

You noticed Abby and Quinn outside, cuddled together on the couch, which meant you got a couple of minutes with your boyfriend alone. When Lando finally arrived, you met him on the porch. His grin was wide and dimpled, arms open as he swept you into a hug that lifted you off your feet.

"There’s my girl," he murmured into your hair, kissing the top of your head. For a moment, you let yourself melt into him, breathing in the comfort of his hoodie and the way his hands found your waist like second nature. You both walked into the house so Lando could put his stuff away, as you walked through the house, you could hear her annoying voice "Quinny can you introduce me" 

"Give him a minute to settle in, then sure I can introduce you" Quinn said oblivious to the fact that his situationship is clearly crushing on Lando, you rolled your eyes before making your way downstairs again, Lando had dropped his arm from around your waist to go say his to the boys "Yo Lando this is my girl Abby, Abby this is Lando Y/ns' boyfriend" Quinn said casually,  completely unaware of the storm brewing behind your calm expression. Lando, being a gentleman, smiled and extended a hand. "Nice to meet you." 

Abby, unfortunately, ignored his hand entirely and went in for a hug, a full-body, two-arms-around-his-neck kind of hug. You blinked. "OMG, finally! I've heard so much about you," she gushed, practically melting into him. "You’re even cuter in person." 

You couldn’t believe it. The audacity of this girl to be all over your boyfriend while standing next to your brother. And Lando, God bless his sweet, oblivious soul, just laughed awkwardly, gently pulling away and glancing around, clearly uncomfortable but not quite sure what to do.

You caught Jack’s eye across the room. He raised a brow like, Are you seeing this? You gave him the slightest nod, then turned on your heel and headed for the kitchen. If you stayed any longer, you were going to say something that would get you in serious trouble with Quinn. The group had made there way out to the lake, while you stood in the kitchen doing some breathing exercises.  

Once you were calm enough you went out and rejoined the group. You were sitting on the dock with Jack, you both had this twin thing were you could communicate just using your eyes which was good for the fact that Abby and Quinn were around you right now, "So y/n how long have you and Lando been together" Abby asked putting on a fake sweet tone "Just over 3 years" you muttered. You looked over at Jack who was looking at you then at abby then back to you asking silently "should we drown her". 

You giggled a little and laid your head on Jacks shoulder "Tempting," you whispered under your breath, only loud enough for him to hear. Abby didn’t seem to notice. Or care. She was still smiling that plastic smile, twisting a piece of her hair around her finger like she was in a rom-com from 2006. "It must be hard though," she said, blinking wide innocent eyes. "Dating someone so popular." 

You looked at her trying to understand why she was saying this infront of her situationship and also your twin brother "I mean, with all the fans and girls throwing themselves at him," she continued casually. "Do you ever, like… worry that he’s cheated on you or something?" You blinked at her, contemplating whether or not to drown her in the lake and make it look like an accident. "Hey Abby" Quinn called out which made abby get up and follow, both Jack and you look at each other with shock written all over your faces 

By the time game night rolled around you thought that maybe Abby would back off picking quinn as her partner but oh how you were wrong "Can I be your partner, Lando?" she asked sweetly, resting a hand on his arm. "You’re like, the best at games. I want to win!" That was it. You didn’t say anything. Not a single word. You just turned around and walked straight out of the living room, down the hall, and into the guest room you were sharing with Lando. 

soon after Lando walked into the room "babe whats going on" He cooed making his way towards you. You let out a sharp breath. "Are you seriously asking me that? You didn’t notice the way Abby’s been all over you since you got here?" Lando blinked, confused. "She's just being friendly no?" Lando questioned 

"Friendly? the fact that she’s been all over you since the second you arrived! She hugged you like she’s known you for years, had the audacity to ask if I ever worry about you cheating on me. And she asked you to be your partner for game night while quinn was right there" You let out so over the fact that this random girl has been all over your boyfriend while being somewhat in a relationship with your brother. His mouth opened, then shut again, realization slowly dawning in his eyes.  

"You’re right. I should’ve shut it down. I should’ve noticed. I just I hate drama. And I guess I was trying so hard not to be rude, I forgot who I should’ve been protecting." Lando said his voice full of guilt. You blinked fast, trying to make the tears away. You hated crying during arguments. Lando stepped closer, slower this time, until he was right in front of you.

"I love you," he said softly. You hesitated, then finally let him pull you into his chest. His arms wrapped around you tightly, like he was afraid you might disappear. "You want to hide away in here and just cuddle?" Lando questioned, already knowing your answer, you nodded your head. You both jumped into bed, wrapping your limbs around each other.

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[kayharrisons]

In sickness and in moderate health [Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader] [1 of ?]

Bucky Barnes keeps showing up to the med bay with injuries from his missions.

Fine, no problem, it's your job to look after the team. Even though their stubborn asses keep insisting they're fine even if they've got a bullet in their ass.

But Bucky? He comes to you for even the most trivial of injuries, and you can't help but wonder why.

A/N: HELLOOOOOOO this is my first Marvel fic on this account e e p and I can only hope I do it some justice! I just saw Thunderbolts the other day and LOVED IT genuinely one of the best marvel movies in recent years!! So spoilers for that, as this lil fic is set within the 14 months between the end of the movie and the post credits scene.

Warnings: injury mentions, minor blood, Bucky being a 100 and smth year old man tryna flirt in his own way, nurse x patient (Bucky is barely a patient he's dragging his ass to the med bay purely to see reader)

Your job was a good one.

You'd sat for your interview, had aced it with a smile, you'd been hired on the damn spot near enough. You couldn't believe your luck, as you'd only just recently left your post at a small hospital downtown. Applying to be on call medical staff for the New Avengers was something you'd done on a whim, when you were up at 3am, shaking from energy drinks and doom scrolling job listings on your phone to see what would come up.

Mel was lovely enough of an interviewer. Val creeped you the fuck out with her endlessly chipper attitude.

But, hey, you were hired! Who were you to complain?

You have your own office, and an entire medical bay filled with equipment you'll probably never even need to use. There was an official doctor for the team, for more serious cases, but you were the only medical staff to permanently live in the building.

Your room is on the floor above the med bay; ensuring you quick access to the floor when you are required.

It's damn better than your old place, that's for sure. You have floor to ceiling windows, a kitchen with niche appliances that you're still figuring out, your bedroom has the damn comfiest queen sized bed ever...

Your bathroom has a fucking fancy bidet.

Go figure.

You decorate, of course, painting over the muted neutral greys with soothing blues and forest greens. You buy endless bright and comfy blankets for your couch, you fill up your space with plants that will specifically be hard as hell to kill.

Thank god your oath doesn't cover plants.

The first few weeks are quiet.

The New Avengers are still getting their act together, still finalising legalities and paperwork, all the boring stuff that no one ever talks about.

But then...

Your door slams open, and in storms Bucky Barnes, former congressman and Winter Soldier, and he's got a nervous, apologetic man trailing along after him.

Bucky is a lot taller in person. Maybe it's because you're sitting down? Either way...

Damn.

"You're our live in nurse, right?" he queries, snapping you to attention.

"Yeah. What's the problem-?"

"This one here thought it would be a swell idea to learn to cook and almost cut my other arm off because of it.

You blink, glancing to the dark haired, dark eyed man stood beside Bucky. You know all the team members, mostly, but this one is a little murky to you.

"I was trying to filet a steak-"

"The why is still lost on me, just like my right arm almost was." Bucky deadpans, giving him a flat look.

The other man sighs, and waves a hand at you. "I'm Bob." he introduces, smiling politely.

You return the smile, before turning to Bucky and gesturing to the examination bed. "Well, hop on up, Congressman Barnes."

He groans, scrunching his face up. "Not anymore, ma'am. Just Bucky is fine."

Ma'am.

It's silly how such a polite, downright respectful term makes you feel all warm in the face.

"I feel really bad, Bucky," Bob frowns, wringing his hands together. "I didn't expect the knife to just slide right off of me and go right into-"

"S'fine, Bob. Who doesn't forget their own invincibility from time to time?" Bucky hums, smiling almost... fondly at the other man.

"...invincibility?" you query, looking to Bob, the most damn normal person you've ever seen in your life. You reach into the box by the exam bed, pulling on a pair of latex gloves.

He blinks wide eyes at you, before smiling a sheepish grin. "Lab experiments, you know how it is... or, well, you don't. Of course you don't. Bucky does, though-"

"Yeah, yup, we're all aware of that much, Bob."

"...sorry."

Bucky just grunts, eyes flickering to your face as your fingers start to gently unpeel the makeshift towel bandage from his arm.

"Is that MUSCLE-?"

"No." Both you and Bucky say in unison, a wry smile being exchanged between you both at that.

"Just a lot of blood," you hum, tentatively wiping at the area with antiseptic and cotton balls. Bucky, to his credit, doesn't even flinch. "I don't think you'll need stitches, Bucky-"

"Never do," he shrugs, the fingers of his left arm flexing absentmindedly on his lap. "Serum. Makes me heal a lot faster than the average Joe."

You ahh in realisation, still cleaning at the wound. It's a clean enough injury, no long lasting damage, and nowhere near deep enough for stitches.

"Well, you'll live, Barnes," you say, lips twitching as you prep gauze and bandages. "You're just a bleeder, it seems."

"Damn. Thought that info would be all over my medical files. Hydra loved making note of fun little details like that. Along with things like reacts negatively to electrical shock therapy."

A beat of horrified silence that Bucky doesn't seem to register.

"...dude." comes Bob's horrified little whisper, which snaps you out of your own horrified stupor.

"What? Too much?" Bucky asks, raising a brow. "Not like it's not all over the internet and in my medical files. Never read a news article, Bob?"

"Leave him alone, Bucky-"

"You know I was on meth during that time-!"

Your eyes snap to sweet, normal looking Bob at that one. Your fingers pressing gauze against Bucky's cut and your eyes wide.

"...I don't know if you've read my file yet but um... that is mentioned." Bob smiles, awkwardly, before pointing to the door. "I'm just- I'm gonna- yeah. Was nice meeting you, and Bucky I'm still sorry about the arm-"

"I keep telling you, it's fine. Just... for the love of god, watch where your knife is aimed when you're cutting."

Bob gives you both a thumbs up before backing out of the room, the door swinging shut behind him.

"...well he seems nice."

"Yeah, he is. It's like working with a puppy-"

"I can totally see that-"

"Not a cute one. Like one of those ones you see in those depressing ads on tv."

"Oh."

A beat of silence, as you start wrapping the bandage around his arm to cover the gauze.

His arm is incredibly-

No.

Bad!

Unprofessional.

"...so um... how's the uh... team so far?" you almost cringe at how awkward the words come out, and Bucky's lips turn up a touch at the corners.

"They're a bunch of assholes," he informs you, bluntly. "Walker's about five seconds away from me shooting him most days. Ava keeps walking through walls instead of using doors. Alexei won't shut the hell up about marketing opportunities. And Bob and Yelena together are worse than two little girls in a school yard, honestly."

"Scathing," you whistle, smile a little disbelieving as you tighten the bandage. "You the poor normal fella on the team, then?"

He barks out a laugh, smile widening into something genuine. "Nah," he chuckles, sliding off the examination bed once you're done and happy with how tight the bandage is. "I'm the worst of the bunch. Just got more experience hiding it."

"Ah, right, the whole being born before sliced bread thing."

"Hey," Bucky tuts, cocking his head. "That was a game changer when it was introduced. Ma went wild for it."

You gape at him, he grins at you like he's the damn Cheshire Cat.

You'd been kidding.

"1930," Bucky supplies, shoving his hands in his pockets as he saunters to the door. "Sliced bread hit the market in 1930, when I was 13."

You're still gaping after him, to his amusement.

"Thanks, doll, for fixing me up," he hums, glancing to his arm, then back at you. "Can't promise it won't happen again, knowing this damn team."

It's said fondly, almost.

Almost.

"Well, I'd better head. Dinner plans and all, apparently. I think Walker might just end up ordering food in, though. We all suck at cooking. See you around, ma'am."

And with that, he's gone, the door clicking shut behind him.

You have a form to fill out, to document the injury and file away.

But you linger there, staring after James Buchanan Barnes, former congressman and Winter Soldier.

...sliced bread, huh?

[chahaezii]

Guys hear me out.

Jinwoo x Valorant AU. + Reader ofc

Jinwoo's parents are dead due to the "First Light" incident. He somehow survived but got turned into a classified Radiant.

First Light was a global event around 2039 that unleashed Radianite, a powerful new energy source. It caused weird phenomena and led to the rise of Radiants, people with powers. A shady mega corporation, Kingdom, tried to control it all. To fight the chaos (and some parallel Earth stuff like Omega and Alpha), the Valorant Protocol was formed.

Chapter 1 ; Strange guy, Strange feelings.

It's been awhile since a new agent arrived in the protocol. Ever since they've recruited You, a new sentinal, no one seems to have much interest in finding a new recruit. That is, until a strange guy caught Iso's eye.

“Hey, guys. I know the protocol has been quiet lately, but, I think I have someone in mind.” Iso seemed serious as usual, though he does seem a little nervous this time around. You weren't sure if the others noticed it but you sure did. It piqued your interest however.

“Someone in mind? Introduce us! I've been needing a new friend to binge cooking shows with me!” Clove, the mischievous immortal, joked in response. Most of the others that were there started talking to each other about who it could be and what skill they would possess. Even you started wondering about it yourself. It's only been 4 months since you joined VP, but you already blend in with the others really well.

“Well, should we tell Brim about this first? You should tell him all the details you have about this person first, then maybe we could make our decisions.” Vyse had a good point, you thought. I mean, Brim is the leader anyways, he should know first. We'll follow his lead whether it be to recruit them or not. But you really do wish to see this person face-to-face. You need to know what's so interesting about this person that you could sense Iso's emotion, especially him being nervous. Not something that Iso would show.

A couple days went by and Brim reported back to us about the new recruitment. He agreed to try and recruit the person that Iso was talking about. The mission will be led by Iso, followed by Clove, Omen, Gekko and You. This is your first recruitment mission, so you were a little anxious.

You and the others arrived at the given location, immediately getting off the plane and following the already laid out plan by Iso. You set your traps and wait till Iso gives commands.

However, things didn't exactly go the way it's intended. Your traps were somehow seen and destroyed. In an immediate response, you threw your grenade out, giving a quick flash. You ran to another spot nearby, not wanting to give your positions away. Iso used his comms, “Hey, is everything good there? I saw your flash.” You know if you say anything right now, it might be a dead giveaway. You stayed quiet for a moment before silently whispering in your comms, “I think he's here.”

“Got it. Me and Gekko will switch positions.” Iso immediately took action. Though, it was a little too late for that. You felt a swing passed by and you were now in the hands of the "new recruit". You couldn't properly speak as his hands had a tight grip on your neck.

“Who are you? Why are you spying on me.” He spoke, his voice was low. You could tell this guy is powerful just by how much aura you were sensing, coming alone from just him. “I-I can't.. s-speak..” You plead, if he holds you like this any longer, you might just pass out. He lets his grip soften slightly, not letting you fully go but just enough where you're able to breath and speak properly. “Explain.” He demanded, cold and monotoned. You immediately explained how you're just a mere agent trying to talk to him, trying to recruit him in Valorant Protocol. How you guys had a big interest in him and his skills, how useful they are in battles and such.

Just as you were explaining, Omen came to check in on you just to find you being held by someone. He immediately uses his blind and teleport behind the person holding you. He held a gun to the person's head. “Let her go, we just want to talk. No need to get violent.” Omen sounds threatening, but you know he means his words. There is no reason to be fighting when you're only trying to talk.

As the blind loses its effects, he responded as he lets you go entirely. “Alright. Though, your little teammate here was already in the middle of explaining that to me.” Iso, Gekko and Clove all came to the spot that you last gave comms at. Gekko and Clove were quite surprised to see such a scene playing in front of their eyes, though Iso already expected something like this to happen.

“We meet again, Sung Jinwoo.” Iso walks over to him slowly, not wanting to make it seem like he has any ill intention. “Sorry that it had to come to this, but we're really just here to talk this out with you!” Clove exclaimed, they felt a little bad that Jinwoo needed to be locked in place with a gun to his head. After a couple of moments went by, all of you had finished taking turns in interrogating Jinwoo and convincing him to join. Jinwoo agreed to check the Valorant Headquarters first, though he was a little doubtful.

As he arrived, almost everyone was there to greet him warmly. They started talking to Jinwoo for a bit, even if Jinwoo isn't much of a talker. You stared at Jinwoo from afar, you didn't know why but you just couldn't take your eyes off of him. You didn't even notice that you were smiling as you kept your gaze locked onto him.

“You really like that new guy or something?” Jett playfully teased, she noticed how you were smiling and staring in silent. She couldn't help but tease you for it. “What? N-No! I just want to.. uhm–” Jett laughed as you stuttered, trying to explain yourself. “It's alright Y/N, I won't snitch if you get me some kimbab later!” You sighed and nodded, you know how much of a trouble Jett could be sometimes but you let her be. She's one year older than you, which makes you feel obligated to respect her even if she's being quite a troublemaker.

A couple days passed by before Jinwoo officially made the decision to join Valorant. He stated that there isn't any reason for him to not join, after all, it's for his own good and the others. Protecting what's left for him to care about since his family are gone. He thought, maybe, if he stays he'd get a new purpose. A new family.

Brim had assigned you to help Jinwoo with the tour and guides. You happily accepted your role in helping Jinwoo. You showed him around the HQ, his room, the training field and even taught him everything you knew about the Omega Earth. (Currently, you guys are on Alpha Earth. The ORIGINAL earth)

It was quite awkward at first, you wanted to talk casually with him but you couldn't stop feeling so nervous. You caught Jinwoo stealing glances at you from time to time, but you didn't think too much about it. After you finished your tour, you dropped Jinwoo off by his room.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” You froze for a second, unsure why you felt like dozens of butterflies running free in your stomach. You gently smiled at him, “Goodnight to you too, Jinwoo.”

The next day, you decided to go to the training field and fought some bots. Usually there would be Yoru and Phoenix hanging around here betting on who would win, but thankfully today, they were on a mission. Which gives you plenty of time to train without distractions.

At least, that's what you thought of. You lost your focus immediately as you sensed someone stepping in the waiting room. A purple trail of aura could be seen, it was definitely Jinwoo. You almost lost to the bot if it weren't your traps that saved you. You killed the leftovers before heading to the waiting room that Jinwoo is in. “Nice skills you have there. Is that why they call you 'The Clutcher' ?” He sounded genuine but it was quite hard to tell with his cold expression and body language. “Thanks and I uh, I guess so? Though, it's quite a silly nickname.” You nervously chuckled, you didn't know why but everytime you see Jinwoo or talk to him, your heart races. You didn't want it to distract you from your missions, so you try to ignore it.

Was it important? Sooner or later, those feelings will definitely catch up to you. But for now, it's just a strange feeling.

You talked with Jinwoo about the protocol and your experiences with it so far. You enjoy talking to him, he's a good listener and responder. You guys shared some similar experiences and interests. At first, Jinwoo wasn't much of an open person, but slowly, he talks more to you. He even invited you to train together, wanting to build teamwork skills with you.

You could tell that Jinwoo is very experienced with handling battles. Just how he hits all his shots without breaking a sweat, how he manages his ability usage and how easily he defeats the bots. Especially defeating Maxbot. That definitely caught you by surprise, no one has been able to defeat Maxbot alone and yet somehow Jinwoo did it with ease.

“You're an absolute god! You're killing it out here, Jinwoo!” Excitedly, you exclaimed. Just watching Jinwoo fight out in the training field was already so thrilling. You couldn't wait to see him fight on the battlefield, alongside you and the others.

“Ah, you're giving me too much credit. It's nothing too hard.” Jinwoo seemed humble, he doesn't want to admit just how strong he truly is, or maybe he doesn't understand just how strong Maxbot is compared to the other agents, making it quite the achievement to be able to beat him in a solo match. He could tell you were thrilled to see him fight, he enjoyed your reaction. He found it amusing and frankly, quite adorable.

You both bonded more over lunch time. Talking about more casual things, favorite music, foods, drinks, etc. You both did share a similar taste, making it much more of a fun conversation. As you both exchanged some casual information about each other, Yoru came by to sit down at your table with Jinwoo.

“My god Yoru, what is it now?” You annoyingly sighed upon his arrival. He sat down right next to Jinwoo, taking his signature butterfly comb out to fix his hair. He smirked slightly, looking back and forth between me and Jinwoo before opening his mouth.

“Nothing. Just wanted to join in the very fun conversation you guys were in.” Yoru is clearly trying to annoy you. This is definitely because of Jett. You immediately suspected it was her doing. “It was nothing interesting. Just us talking about what we share in common.” Jinwoo assured Yoru. Jinwoo didn't exactly want any attention to be drawn to him or you. He could tell that you were clearly annoyed by Yoru's presence.

“Hm, if you say so. I'll be leaving then.” Yoru got up, pat Jinwoo's back and left just like that. Walking away as he swings his comb around, playing with it.

“Sorry about that, Yoru has always been quite—annoying.” You sighed once more as you sipped on your drink. “Hey it's alright, don't let his presence ruin your mood.” Jinwoo seemed genuine, his gaze softening ever so slightly towards you. You didn't break eye contact with him for a moment, letting his gaze linger around you. That is, until you snapped out of it. “Ah, yeah, you're right.” You spoke, trying your hardest to hide the fact that you enjoyed his gaze. How it slightly softened, how his deep blue eyes stared right back at you, how mesmerizing it was to be lost in his gaze.

He let out a relieved sigh before getting up from his seat. “Well, we better go rest for now. We do have a mission coming up tomorrow.”

“Yeah, we should. I'll see you tomorrow then?” You too got up from your seat, wanting to walk your way to each other's room together.

“Mhm, good luck tomorrow, Y/N.”

“You too, Jinwoo. Do your best!”

Note; Crazy crossover but this literally strikes me in the middle of playing my rank up game LOL 😭 I couldn't stop thinking about it so here I am, writing my AU 🥀. Hope y'all like it as much as I do because this is definitely going to be an ongoing series !! It'll take awhile before another part comes out since I do have multiple requests at the moment, so be patient ya! ^.^

Oh and don't be scared to ask me any information about this AU or Valorant in general! I know not everyone play/look into Valorant so I'm more than happy to share my knowledge~

I'm still trying to improve my writing, so excuse any mistakes!

[apollabarnes]

part one // part two // part three // part four // part five // part six // part seven // part eight // part nine // part ten // part eleven // part twelve // part thirteen // part fourteen // part fifteen // part sixteen // part seventeen // part eighteen

tommy and athena actually do go for coffee.

bobby wants to talk to evan in private, and tommy figures that by the time they get back hen, ravi and howie will have made their way over for a 118 confab.

tommy bites back the reflexive 'it doesn't mean anything yet' that wants to escape. it's hard not to say it, because bobby's team has a habit of being just a little bit bulletproof. tommy doesn't believe in jinxes, but he worries that saying it out loud will cancel out their luck.

he gets athena the kind of fancy coffee that she rarely indulges in and finds a table in the corner, angling his chair so she's mostly hidden from the rest of the shop.

"bobby has a terrible habit of not wanting to worry me," athena tells tommy, rubbing her temples. "i thought i broke him of that after the radiation scare."

"why does this keep happening to them," tommy asks rhetorically. it's not as if they didn't have crazy calls at the 118 before bobby came to los angeles. it just feels magnified because they're involved, now. "how are you doing?"

"i'm…" athena blows out a breath, sitting back in her chair, "no news is good news, right? i'm holding on to that right now."

"not a bad plan," tommy agrees. he's spent the last few months unbearably glad every time athena's stories about the 118 don't feature one of them in danger. tommy's considered asking her not to talk about them, but not hearing about them at all would have the opposite effect. he'd be constantly stressed out and coming up with reasons to run into them. tommy has first hand knowledge that running into evan isn't always the best thing. "what's the most unhelpful thing you want to say to bobby?"

athena rolls her eyes at him. "you're not trying to shrink me over here, are you?"

"i thought you might want to say it to someone that wasn't him. coming from a guy who famously says stupid shit to his…" tommy trails off, redirects, "cone of secrecy."

"putting a pin in that so we can come back to it," athena warns him. she takes a deep breath. "i want to tell him if he'd told anyone last night we could have started the tests right away, and if it is something serious those extra twelve hours might have helped."

"definitely a good thing you didn't say that to him. you basically called him an idiot."

athena laughs, dropping her head into her hands. "this might be the stupidest thing he's ever done," she continues, her voice muffled, "and it's a high bar to clear."

"so you're saying in the stupidity olympics, bobby's a pole vaulter," tommy jokes.

"did you see—" athena laughs harder.

"i did. i was impressed by his pole handling."

that sets athena off again. tommy's glad that they left the hospital, that they're somewhere unfamiliar. it's not that it's not funny, it's just… tommy can hear the strain in her voice. it's getting to her. he's not surprised. between the cruise and the fire and now this, bobby hasn't managed to go six months without being in life threatening danger. it's enough to make anyone crack, but there's no way athena would do that in front of bobby while they still don't know what's going on.

"do the rest of them," she says.

what the hell. tommy does. and because all of them run headfirst into danger and laugh while they do it, he picks equally dangerous sports.

"evan does the luge. hen and howie are two person bobsleigh. ravi's a speed cyclist. eddie is a speed skater," tommy grins at her.

"that's accurate," athena agrees after consideration. "i almost wish i had a shift today."

"can't think about all the stuff going wrong when you're busy serving and protecting," tommy agrees immediately. "let me guess, your captain said not to come in until bobby's out of the hospital."

"you've met her," athena says wryly.

"mine texted and told me to take the rest of the week. if you're looking for a buddy, well. call me."

athena raises an eyebrow. "where exactly are you spending that week?"

"don't ask me, i have no idea what i'm doing."

[sturnboos]

KIDNAPPED BY CHRIS PART SIX

CURRENT WARNINGS: sadistic!triplets, manipulation. Mental abuse. stockholm syndrome. read at your OWN risk

READ PREVIOUS CHAPTERS HERE

I've been with these boys for 2 weeks now. It's not actually that bad. Nick and Matt haven't been bothering me much. Only talking to me if Chris demands them to or if I start the conversation first. I don't have to be tied up anymore, they know I'm not gonna try leave atleast not for a while after i was shot..

I heard that Chris has anger issues but every time I ask him about it he ignores me, but personally I think Chris is actually nice... well behind all the serious stuff, he has actually got a heart.

"Come here" Chris says to me. I look over at him from the couch. "Why?" I ask "because I said so" Chris answers. I roll my eyes and stand up.

He leads me down the hallway, then opens a door to a room. It has a bed, bedside table, wardrobe pretty plain. I shrug, "what?" I say.

"Would you like to sleep on a bed?" He asks, I nod slowly."Then this is your room" he says walking off.

I stand there surprised. "Thank you?" I say as  I walk into the room. I haven't had a shower since they kidnapped me. I wouldn't call it kidnapping though now that I prefer this place better than home. I don't know why. (Stockholm syndrome is kicking in🫢)

I shut the door and sit down on the surprisely comfy bed. There's a knock on the door, then the door opens. "Also, you can have a shower if you want, I mean, it's not like you have clean clothes to change into but still" Chris shrugs leaning against the doorframe and staring at me. "Ok"

He stares at me for a couple seconds. "Are you gonna have a shower?"

I nod slowly

"I'll get you a towel" he says and walks out of the room.

I walk to the bathroom and turn the shower on, There's a knock on the door, I open it and Chris passes me a towel then walks out.

After my shower I get changed back into my clothes. I walk out of the bathroom, I turn the corner to walk back to my room but suddenly bump into someone. I look up at Chris. He stares down at me

"you look hot with wet hair" he whispers then walks past me. I feel my cheeks heat up, I quickly walk to my room. What was that? Why would he say that?! I flop on the bed.

"You've gone soft on her" I hear Matt tease outside my room.

"Maybe" I hear Chris answer.

"Do you pitty her now?" I hear Nick ask.

Chris laughs "no"

"Right" Nick laughs.

I feel my cheeks heat up once again. Why am I blushing, I place my hands on my cheeks and soon I fall asleep but not even 30 mins later I'm awoken to what sounds like a bear trying to break down my bedroom door, but as the door opens it was just Chris, he looks at me. "Delilah do you want food or not?!" He shouts but then lowers his voice "wait were you asleep?"

I sit up slightly, "Yeahh" I say.

"Oh, do you want dinner?"

I nod slowly.

Chris walks out and comes back with a plate of food. Steak, mashed potato, carrots and other things. He walks over to me, I take the plate of food. "Thank you" I whisper. He nods slowly then walks out of the room. I begin to eat the food. I've eaten most of it now, I'm full though. I get out of bed and take my plate and knife and fork to the kitchen.

"You gonna eat that?" Matt asks. I shake my head. Chris looks over at me from the couch. "Leave it on the counter" Chris says. I nod slowly and place it by the sink. I walk out of the kitchen then down the hallway into my room.

Its guessing its late now. Chris and Nick went out together so it's just me and Matt in the house, it makes me a little scared to be honest... I don't know why. I open my door to my room.

I spot a dog in the hallway. They have a dog? I bend down and pat it. It tilts its head at me then walks off into Chris's room. I could find my phone. I thought, so l walk to the door of Chris's room.

Matt is in the living room watching TV or something so he's distracted right now. I slip in Chris's room and look around. It's not messy, but it's not clean. I walk to his bedside table and open it quietly. I look in. no phone. I walk over to a shelf, there's pieces of paper then scribbled writing on it. I pull out the piece of paper and read the words. It was just labeled 'YouTube video ideas’

"What are you doing?" I hear Matt's voice, I flinched and place the piece of paper back on the shelf then look over at him.

"Nothing" I begin to walk out but he puts his arm in the doorway. I look up at him.

He leans down to my ear. "What were you doing?" He whispers in a deep voice.

I feel my cheeks heat up. "Looking for something" I whisper and turn my head away.

He stares down at me. "For what Delilah?" He whispers. I look up at him, he leans down, our faces inches apart. "For what?" He whispers again. I push and try to walk past Matt but he grabs my arm and pulls me back. Matt leans down and held onto the sides of my face forcing eye contact "you just have to be difficult don't you?"

He pushes me against a wall and pins me there. "You've got 2 choices... tell me what the fuck you were looking for OR I'll call Chris tell him the situation and he can punish you once he's back"

"p-phone" I mumbled.

"I can't hear you, speak up" Matt taunts

"my phone!"

Matt chuckled.

"Why are you laughing?" I sniffle.

He doesn't reply but goes and opens a drawer Chris's bedside table. "Your phones been blowing up" Matt states. "Are you checking it right now?" I ask and peek over the drawer, he is at "Maybe" Matt says.

"I mean it would be blowing up, l've been missing for a while" I say. "Do you wanna leave?" Matt asks. Im lay down on Chris's bed and shake my head. "Why not?" He whispers and sits on the edge of the bed. I shrug. "It's not that bad here.. at.. at least not as bad as home was"

"good. We couldn't let you go anyway" Matt shrugs.

"Why not?" I ask.

"Isn't that obvious, your probably reported missing, if we let you go you'd tell everyone who kidnapped you. Plus theirs guys that are actually trying to kill you, remember the guns?" Matt says. "We're protecting you.. even if we have to be harsh to make you understand."

I hear the front door open, I sit up quickly. Matt does too. I can hear Nick and Chris's laughing and keys shaking. "Come on" Matt says grabbing my hand and pulling me up. "Your gonna be in serious trouble"

"but you said-" "he would find out anyway Delilah" he smirked and points at the dirty footprints on Chris's carpet.

A/N: maybe smut is coming sooner then y’all think🤭😏

TAGLIST: @mattsfavho @sturniolobananas1 @courta13 @the alexisa78 @chrisissos3xy @sturnobessed @mattschelseaa @sturniolos67 @norahsturns @blushsturns @blahbel668 @riasturns @iloveduckssm @cl1tlover3000 @emmaweasley @chrissbxby @mattscumdump @kayskreativeideas comment here to be added

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

Stranded

Author's note: I'm going to be trying to do Mermay 2025.

Summary: Doronius

Warnings: Someone is stranded. Someone is rescued. Mentions of canabalism. Swearing. Mentions of bullying and gallows humor. LMK if I need to add something

tagged: @sleepyfan-blog @c-u-c-koo-4-40k @i-am-a-dragon34 @ms--lobotomy @jaghatai-khock

tagged: @kit-williams @whorety-k @bleedingichorhearts @thevoidscreams @gra93fruit-blog

Tagged: @felinisnoctis @bispecsual, @egrets-not-regrets @finchly-tintinnabulation

Doronius is flying through the air. He's been on Ancient Terra for a few months, and once he was patched up and properly healed, the Tech Marine Hydra had been extremely busy. With how few resources everyone had and specialists of all kinds being extremely limited, they were all in high demand. His ability to work with machine spirits and metals is quite the boon.

Doronius hears the singing of a strange mechanical spirit, its song sounded discordant and in pain he frowns and flies over he tilts his head and sees that there are three upset looming humans and a the pieces of a broken ship.

"I told you that you should not have joked about trying to decide who to kill and eat!" A scowling baseline human says with their hands on their hips. "Just because we have all been stuck here for a few days and things are not going well doesn't mean we should sink to turning on each other so soon."

"It was just a stupid joke- gallows humor because we are utterly fucked." Another one of the humans protested.

"Where did they go? And how? There's no way the could have swim far enough away without us knowing." Another person pointed out. "And this island isn't big enough for them to hide from of that long."

"You two should not have talked about killing and eating one of us- the supposed 'weak link' while looking at them!" The shouting human yells again.

"... still I want to know where they are... and what happened to them." One of the other to says as the shift around uneasily.

"I thought I heard them speak or something and then I heard a splash." The other human who hadn't spoken yet said as they fidgeted.

"And you are just now saying something?!" The most loud baseline human yells.

"I thought I saw a massive mutated monster..." thar human says with a flinch.

'How curious,' Doronius thinks as he tilts his head listening to the drama.

The most vocal human looks enraged as they stomp off. All three humans look more than a little dehydrated and sunburnt. He tilts his head and flies over to the sunburnt human that left the other two as he does so he hears the other two speak.

"So our first choice for sustenance is gone somehow." There was a semi joking, semi serious look on the baselines face.

"... seriously?" The other human says.

"What we gotta consider this stuff if we wanna survive. And I don't want it to be me." They said.

"I Don't wanna die or be eaten either!" They protest.

"Well. Good thing, there is a third person left then." The other person said, sounding flippant yet serious.

Doronius spots that the third person who had stomped off is actually near enough to hear the other two speak with a shocked, fearful, betrayed, and hurt expression on their face. He dips into the ocean and pops up near them. The baseline human jumps and stares at him.

"Please help me! They- the other two are planning to kill and eat me." The baseline begs with tears in their eyes.

"It seems rather unfortunate to have them do that." Doronius says as hebswims closer.

The Alpha Legion always needs more hands to help. They work quite closely with baseline humans and other species often living among them and working with or for or against or a mixture of those things.

"Come into my arms and keep your face tucked to my chest. I can move fast and you need to try and not get injured." Doronius says.

He does send a message to a couple of Chaos Hydra about the other two humans whether they are saved or become lunch for someone else isn't in his preview. With the way the human thanked him profusely as he clings to him.

[rafeyscumangel]

Trying to say that i made rape allegations when i’ve been open about my rape experience is actually crazy.

I was the one who told you about the allegations. And you were the one trying to tell me to get off tumblr and deactivate

(blocked out stuff is stuff that i don’t have a right to share)

Now i know you didn’t come from a place of worry, but a plan to try and make it seem like i’m making fake rape allegations which is bizarre. Especially after i told you about how i was raped and stalked and i’m still actively dealing with my stalker not leaving me alone when he’s in fucking jail. Plus told you i had to get an abortion at 14 by that same person. Trying to insinuate that i would lie about rape after finding this out shows how fucked you are.

And starfxkrinc saying; ‘and since we wanna fuckin take it there next time when the bitch ODs i hope theres nary a narcan available’ is honestly crazy even more and shows her lack of care for addiction as a whole imo. And the fact you support this when you also admittedly struggle with addiction makes no sense to me. Especially when you try saying death threats etc are bad..

The rest of the messages.

I’m not gonna speak on the allegations like i said earlier because it’s honestly sketchy af timing, but i’m also not gonna say it’s impossible because it’s not my place too. And as a victim myself i can’t bring myself to say there’s no possibility in the world because i wasn’t there.

If this is a liar, don’t fucking use this as an excuse to try and guilt trip people. And if it’s not i’m sorry but take legal action, dumping it on me is not going to get you justice.

Edit: And don’t fucking say i could be next please? As a victim that just scares me thank you

My boundaries is that i don’t want any connections to anyone who could have done any serious wrongdoings, but also don’t want allegations made about other writers in my inbox, so don’t fucking do it.

@shellxrls you also tried saying that for me you won’t be answering anymore asks about the situation and i regret believing you, because now on my other blogs i’m being told to overdose, relapse etc. So thank you for that i guess. I’m still genuinely sorry about the stuff you told me about and i’m praying that you’ll get to a better point in your life but for my own boundaries, please don’t speak about me. It’s not something i’m comfortable with right now and if this is the same anon from before i don’t want to be gore spammed, harassed etc again.

[artuurle]

this thing lives in my brain like a fungus.

[galactic-rhea]

Currently trying to fight off the deep running guilt that makes me want to cry for being such a bad and selfish person that will die alone

(I said I didn't want to go out for lunch)

[thevioletcaptain]

.

[sturniololuvz]

https://www.tumblr.com/sturniololuvz/782670591180292096/guys-my-inbox-is-empty-i-dont-know-how-to-its

can you do one where y/n is like the type of person who’s like “tough” so she doesn’t rlly express emotions much and bottles them up and say them in her notes app and like cries alone and stuff then one day she left her phone unlocked and matt saw the notes and tells nick and chris and they comfort her and stuff pls?

(based off personal experience 😭)

“The Things She Doesn’t Say”

Y/N wasn’t the type to spill her emotions out loud.

Not because she didn’t feel things — she just didn’t like being vulnerable. Growing up with three brothers, she’d quickly developed a tough exterior. Jokes instead of honesty, sarcasm instead of sadness. The only place she ever really let those feelings breathe was her Notes app.

And no one ever had to know.

Until she forgot to lock her phone.

⸻

It was a regular afternoon, everyone sprawled across the living room while Matt scrolled through his sister’s playlist on her phone. She was in the kitchen grabbing a snack, telling them to “pick something that wasn’t Nick’s terrible EDM.”

He chuckled to himself as he scrolled, waiting for Spotify to load when a notification popped up.

Reminder:

Stop pretending you’re fine. You’re not.

Matt furrowed his brows. It didn’t seem like a typical reminder. Curiosity got the best of him, and before guilt could even register, he tapped into her Notes app.

The first thing that caught his eye was the sheer number of entries.

“I don’t know how to ask for help without feeling like a burden.”

“Why does it feel like everyone would be fine without me?”

“I’m tired of pretending I’m tough when I feel like I’m falling apart.”

Matt’s chest tightened. He scrolled further and saw more—months’ worth of thoughts she’d never spoken. Anxiety about school, feeling overlooked, moments where loneliness drowned her even when she was surrounded by people who loved her.

“Everything ok?” Nick asked from across the couch.

Matt swallowed hard, locking the phone and setting it down.

“Can you guys come here for a sec?” he mumbled, his usual chill demeanor gone.

Chris raised a brow but stood up. “What’s up?”

Matt glanced toward the kitchen. Y/N was laughing to herself as she rummaged through the pantry, completely unaware.

“I just saw something on her phone,” Matt said quietly. “She’s been… holding in a lot of stuff. Like—a lot.”

Nick’s expression shifted immediately, worry replacing confusion. “What do you mean?”

“She’s not okay, dude,” Matt said, keeping his voice low. “She’s been bottling everything up.”

Chris’s jaw clenched, guilt creeping in. “Why didn’t she tell us?”

“We never really give her the space to,” Nick said softly. “She always acts tough, so we just… assumed she was fine.”

The realization hit all of them at once.

She wasn’t fine.

And no one noticed.

⸻

When Y/N walked back into the living room with chips in hand, she froze at the sight of her brothers’ serious faces.

“What?” she asked, an uneasy laugh bubbling up. “Why do you guys look like someone died?”

“Come here for a sec?” Matt said gently.

Her walls went up immediately, fake nonchalance creeping in. “Why? Did Chris finally break something expensive?”

“No,” Chris said softly, shaking his head. “This isn’t about us.”

Nick patted the spot next to him on the couch. “We need to talk about you.”

Y/N’s stomach dropped, her defenses scrambling into place. “I’m fine. Seriously, what’s—”

“We know you’re not,” Matt cut in gently. “I saw the notes on your phone.”

Her breath caught in her throat. The panic hit immediately—her face flushing, her mind already spinning with excuses.

“I—those are just random thoughts,” she muttered, trying to laugh it off. “It’s not a big—”

“It is a big deal,” Chris said, eyes softer than she’d ever seen. “You’re carrying all of that by yourself.”

Her chest tightened as tears pricked her eyes, the weight of everything she hadn’t said crashing over her.

“I didn’t want to bother you guys,” she whispered, voice cracking despite her best efforts. “I didn’t want to feel… weak.”

Matt pulled her into a hug before she could stop the tears from falling.

“Feeling things doesn’t make you weak,” he murmured, rubbing her back. “You don’t have to be tough all the time. Not with us.”

Nick rested a hand on her leg, his usual teasing replaced with concern. “You’ve been taking care of yourself quietly for too long. Let us take care of you for once, yeah?”

Chris leaned into the group hug, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re never a burden—ever. I’m sorry we made you feel like you had to keep it all in.”

Her tears finally slipped free as she buried her face into Matt’s hoodie, the weight she’d been carrying alone for so long crashing down in the safety of her brothers’ arms.

For once, she didn’t have to be “the tough one.”

For once, she let herself be seen.

And they made sure she knew, without a doubt, that they would always be there for her—no matter how loud or quiet her struggles were.

⸻

[free-luigi-mangione]

I'm so sorry you're being bomboarded by trolls. I hope you don't leave tumblr; as it is, most luigi blogs have stopped, and there is hardly any discourse about luigi on the internet anymore. There seems to be a toxic undercurrent in the luigi community. His support is imploding in on itself, and it's not pretty to watch.

the toxic undercurrent isn't brought about by any of us tho. it's brought about by anons who're so terrible i don't even know how to describe them in one word. i don't care about the actual trollish anons – the ones who might pick fights but will never do things that would make you want to deactivate. in fact i wish i could say that the actually problematic anons can be brushed off as easily, but that's the point of those anons i guess, they're there to make people have an emotional response (eg.– panic after getting doxxed, shock at graphic details of violence, both shock and fear at rape threats against the blog owner or subject of blog and after getting death threats) and they definitely succeed at getting the emotional response from us at least. a lot of people have deactivated because of these second sort of anons and since it's pretty clear they're incels and quite probably a single anon, i don't even know what to say.

[sunlightfeeling]

I genuinely feel like I dont have a right at all to complain or talk negative about Japanese fans but like……..the evident cliqueish-ness of honestly what looks like a very unfortunate larger chunk of them ……😮‍💨

like i gotta be honest the concert was a lot more isolating than it actually already was in itself because of the vibes at least a couple of clusters of fans gave me

[beneaththebloodylake]

actually i hate when people take ace attorney out of the context it was made in. like im just as clueless about the details as anyone else, and its true its heavily fictionalised and mostly not a really serious representation of anything, but at least akcnowledge that that context exists when you talk about it. cause otherwise its just stupid, like everything youre saying is just random words and nothing actually to do with the series

[foldingfittedsheets]

I’d like to entertain and enliven you now with the saga of my Slut Era.

I’ve always been a serial monogamist and my shortest long term relationships clocked in at three years. So perhaps that’s why when I finally broke it off with my ex I went insane on dating. Part of it was definitely just that between anxiety and loneliness I wanted to fill up my time.

This happened when I was living alone for the first time, no roommates, just me and my little cat Leeloo. I didn’t want to come home to an empty house so instead I set up dates.

Most of these were disastrous. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I had a lot more first dates than second because they’d seen enough, including the one where people aggressively complimented me.

But after a few months I had four people I was seeing simultaneously. I was up front with all of them that things were not exclusive, and they all agreed, so no infidelity took place here, just a lot of hijinks.

Here’s who was on the dating roster:

• An apprentice woodworker that we’ll call Jill. I honestly thought at 26 years old that her being 21 wasn’t a problem age gap and I quickly learned that there was a vast gulf of both maturity and life experience between us. Jill described herself as “heteroflexible” and had just dumped her first boyfriend to flirt it up with me.

• A married woman looking for a friends with benefits. We’ll call her Alice. I insisted on meeting her husband first to be sure I wasn’t part of a cheating mess and he gave me his blessing when I stayed over at her house. Years later when he and Alice had divorced I would go on to sell him and his new fiancée an engagement ring and we both realized at the end how we knew each other and it was wildly awkward. Alice was nice, but a hardcore vegan who insisted I brush my teeth if I so much as ate string cheese before I could kiss her. She was also unhappy in her marriage and was feeling out if I’d want to get serious.

• A bartender dubbed Snakebites, so called because of her signature piercings. She cooked me a steak so raw it was still mooing and some of the best asparagus I’d ever had. In our singular sexy encounter she bit my nipple and I never got over it. Really don't bite someone if you don't know their preference and work up in pressure. We weren’t terribly compatible but neither of us were willing to admit it yet. Truthfully I considered still dating her solely because I desperately wanted her bathroom. It had all black tile, black toilet, black sink, a rain shower in the corner and a jacuzzi tub. I may not have loved her but god I loved that bathroom.

And finally,

• My beloved, who I would go on to marry, who was dealing with a lot of personal stuff at the time. Obviously that meant I liked them the best of all the people I was seeing because we were both disasters at the time.

So that’s the cast of this little misadventure. Now, our story begins with Jill.

Jill was someone who heightened my anxiety. Each of the three times she came to my home she brought and left more stuff. A self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans collection of DVDs. It was like she was trying to move in. She also liked to deride my taste in things, frequently calling me a pleb when I mentioned a band or show I liked.

She was working on a gorgeous little decorative table in her woodworking program. The main wood for the top had a beautiful dapple of knots like jaguar spots, and when she showed me a picture I exclaimed how pretty it was.

“Do you want it?”

“Oh- I mean it’s lovely, I wouldn’t mind having it, but you should sell it and make some money!”

But she was adamant. She’d give me the little side table. At about this time, Alice was starting to get awfully lovey for a FWB. I knew she wasn’t happy with her husband but I also knew we were not a good fit. Fun fact: Alice and her husband were step siblings with a pretty hefty age gap. They got together when he stumbled upon a kink photo shoot she’d done with vegetables. None of their family was happy about the relationship but they weren’t related by blood so it was fine.

So I was fending off more overt romantic advances from Alice, and feeling increasingly like I needed to break things off with Jill. Snakebites wasn’t ever initiating communication and I decided to pull a lot of plugs at once.

I ghosted Snakebites, told Alice that I thought we should cool it, and in a move worthy of a rom-com I asked my beloved if I could pretend we were exclusive to put off Jill. They agreed and I texted Jill to let her know that I was no longer single.

I was not prepared for Jill’s response. She. Was. Devastated. She flew off the handle. She’d just been waiting for the right time to tell me how she felt about me! How dare I do this to her!

What about the table?!

“You should keep the table, it’s gorgeous, you’ll be able to sell it, but I don’t expect a free table.”

Silence met me after that text. I worried and fretted and eventually headed home.

There on my doorstep. The table.

It was a small little end table, reeking of oil and polish, but very beautiful. I brought it inside. The little drawer didn’t even have a knob or guide rails. But it did have a handwritten bill proclaiming that it was costing me $500.

“I can’t afford a $500 table, Jill!” I texted.

“Well you kept saying how nice it was. I spent a lot of time on it.”

“I’m not saying it’s not worth $500” (it wasn’t, it was a tiny side table made by an apprentice) “but I can’t buy a $500 table.”

“Make me an offer.”

I stared at the little table. I did actually like it, but I worried about the repercussions of entering into this deal. Hesitantly I typed back, “$300.” I didn’t think it was worth that much but I didn’t want to insult her too badly.

This suited her for the night. But the next day she informed me she needed a new bed, and that she’d take her $300 in credit toward a new mattress. I spent the whole next day basically wrangling with her over what she wanted and eventually she spiked back up to demanding $500 for the damn table.

“Let me just give it back,” I begged. It was not the first, second, or even third time I’d asked to return the thing but this time she finally relented and gave me her address. Since she lived with her parents still I’d never been over.

I called up my beloved and said, “Hey, I need moral support, can you run an errand with me?”

They agreed which is how we loaded up a self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans DVD collection, and the table from hell into my little car together. Jill had said to meet her at one o'clock. I intended to drop everything off at noon and be done with this madness.

But while my beloved and I were on the doorstep leaving everything I heard, “Jill? You’re home early,” through the door. Her mom opened it to peer at us in confusion.

“I was just bringing Jill’s stuff back!” I chirped in alarm.

With little tact and a lot of speed we left her with Jill’s collection of things and then I sped out of there like my tail was on fire. I handed my phone to my beloved as I zoomed away instructing them to block Jill’s number. I was free. The tabletross around my neck had been returned.

It was about a month after that when my beloved and I officially began dating exclusively. I had wrapped up all my messy dating threads and it was a relief to be in a relationship again. They went on a trip to Mexico shortly after we made it official.

So I knew they were out of town. But next morning I walked out to my car and beheld a lipstick kiss pressed to the drivers side window.

I was petrified. I had just dumped three girls at once and had an extremely messy back and forth with one of them. Did I have a stalker?!

Of the girls, Alice seemed like likeliest candidate, being of a stronger lipstick variety girl than Jill or Snakebites. We had ended things a bit stiffly, but still cordial. She just laughed when I asked if she knew anything about it. “Nope,” she said, “but good luck.”

I’d rather have walked over broken glass then text Jill, and I’d firmly ghosted Snakebites so I was scared to reopen communication to ask if she was stalking me. I had to drop it. But it haunted me, that lipstick kiss.

For months I was jumpy, wondering which of my spurned lovers had done it. And why. Was it a threat? A goodbye? I lay awake thinking about it, worrying about how everyone I’d dated knew where I lived, which car was mine.

Finally, nothing else happened and I moved on. The kiss would remain a mystery and I had to be content with that.

It was a year later when I finally started filling my mom in on my dating escapades that I finally got closure. She was hooting and laughing as I went over the table debacle. Then I paused and added, “And then this kiss showed up on my car.”

“Did you like it?”

“What? No! I’m pretty sure one of them was stalking me! Who else would leave a kiss on my car?”

My mom started bellowing with laughter. “I did!” She wheezed.

Apparently. My mother had been driving by my place. And decided that a cute little gesture would be to leave me a kiss. And then decided to never mention it to me even though she’s never done anything like that previously.

“It scared the crap out of me!” I yelled while she collapsed with helpless laughter. “I thought I had a stalker! How could I possibly have known that was you?!”

“How could I have known you’d just broken up with three girls at once?” She wheezed in rejoinder and like. Fair play.

So that’s how my mom convinced me I had a stalker and I got out of buying a $500 table.