#Good dad! Bruce
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To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.
Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.
Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.
Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.
The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.
The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.
#batman#dc comics#batfam#bruce wayne#dcu#batfamily#dc robin#jason todd#dick grayson#nightwing#good dad bruce wayne#funny Batman#god I love them#Jon Kent#red hood#red robin#tim drake#damian wayne#batman and robin#robin#robin dc#dc azrael#duke thomas#signal dc#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect batman quotes#incorrect dc quotes
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and while i’m on a self indulgent thing? i think that any of the kids calling Bruce “dad” changes his whole demeanor. it helps him know that whatever they’re talking about is serious.
hearing his name shouted across the house does nothing for him. a hundred people say his name all day, including his kids. whatever the situation is can be fixed.
but hearing “Dad!”, cried out in battle or screamed from the other room, has him rushing to their side. what is it love and i’m here you’re alright and shh i’ve got you
“Bruce, I need help” = can’t open this large jar, have a question about math homework, need someone to look at this case file for me
“Dad, I need help” = I am hurt. I am scared. I am in danger. I need you to make things better. I need you to protect me.
#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#robin#batfam#tim drake#damian wayne#cassandra cain#i just be talking#i’m not including duke or steph here bc i don’t think they’d do that#but what do i know!#good dad bruce wayne
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You could say they get along like... a house on fire...
sorry
Commission Info / Kofi
#batman#batman comics#batman dc#dc comics#comics#dc#dcu#dc universe#batfam#the batfam#the batfamily#batfamily#damian wayne#damian wayne al ghul#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne#robin#red robin#tim drake#timothy drake#tim drake wayne#timothy drake wayne#bruce wayne#bruce wayne is a good dad#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#illustration#digital illustration#good dad bruce wayne
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Headcanon that Bruce’s kids have all pulled the ‘you're not my father card’ at some point or the other and by the time steph rolled around he didn't even take it seriously
Of course, the first time dick said it, bruce cried himself to sleep. But by the eighteenth time, he was numb to it. “Dickie just eat your peas.”
The first time jason did it Bruce pulled him aside and said “i know Im not, but that doesn't mean i don't care for you jason.” by the twenty fifth time he just held up the adoption papers
The first time Tim said it Bruce laughed. “Tim, you literally forced me to adopt you. Yes I am your father.” Tim didn't bother to say it from then on, maybe muttering ‘you're not my dad!’ under his breath at the computer, just for bruce to whisper ominously ‘yes i am.’
When Steph said it, full of anger and hate and sadness and fear, bruce just followed her and said “you're right. Im not your father. And i will never be your father. But, if you'll let me, id like to be better.” After that any time steph said ‘ur not my father’ bruce would just respond with ‘never will be’
Cass said “your are my father�� and left no room for argument
Babs said “ur not my dad or my father or even close to being any of it, but you are my mom.” bruce just had to accept that
When damian said it bruce just stood there for a solid fifteen minutes rebooting. Dick and jason fell out of their chairs laughing.
Duke specifically went “ur my dad! My dad! Boogie woogie woogie!’ and bruce was just like ‘bet aight.”
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As Bruce grows older into his 50's or 60's the paparazzi and people crowding him becomes less and he thinks that people have finally decided that Bruce is too old to be attractive or mainstream and he's actually super fine with it and makes jokes( more like sarcastic remarks) about it. But in reality they've grown more freaky cause instead of looking wrinkly and a sappy old man the level of cunt he serves grows everyday,he doesn't look like a snack he looks like a buffet, 13 year olds are using his pics as the cover pages of their mafia wattpad stories, he looks majestic, absolute dilf, we don't talk about the amount of tags he's birthed just by ageing on ao3, and hes still an absolute UNIT, the reason he's not heard about it yet cause the batkids are blocking the shit OUT with all of their will and strength cause it doesn't matter if all of them are full grown adults they're still all like-THATSMYDADGETAWAYFROMHIMHEDOESN'THAVETIMEFORYOUHESBUSYBEINGOURDAD
#bruce wayne#batman#dc comics#batfam#batfamily#the caped crusader#the dark knight#the batman#brucie wayne#batman bruce wayne#bruce is a good dad#bruce is a tired dad#batdad#bruce wayne is a good dad#good dad bruce wayne#good parent bruce wayne#dick grayson wayne#dick grayson#jason todd wayne#jason todd#timothy drake wayne#timothy drake#damian wayne al ghul#damain wayne#damian al ghul wayne#batkids
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Scary boyfriend privilege? No. Scary sons privilege.
Bruce who can’t go anywhere without his newly adopted ward. He follows Bruce like a sunny shadow, grin always in place.
“Dick, can I hold your hand when we cross the street?”
Dick, very sweetly, “No.”
Bruce sighs, but accepts easily. Some guy scoffs at that and asks Bruce if he’ll let his kid just talk to him like that. His kid. His heart hurts in a very good way.
He’s about to say something, but Dick interrupts him, his teeth bared full, “Weren’t you on the news for hitting an old lady with your car?”
Bruce freezing. Dick goes back to his gameboy. They hold hands when they cross the street.
It’s both scary and comforting how little he changes when he’s an adult.
Jason, on the other hand.
Although he refuses to admit it, he does follow Bruce around, too, when his dad actually has to leave the manor. It’s when Alfred says he needs sun.
“You signed a contract, sir.”
Bruce sighing, “I signed it when I was 4. In black crayon. Those don’t count.”
Damian gasped, as if discovering a vile fact, sending an accusing glare Bruce’s way. “They don’t?”
Bruce needs an excuse to haul ass fast and that’s how Jason ends up chaperoning his socially awkward, disaster of a father in his quest to pick up food.
He’s a titanic presence next to Bruce, glaring off whoever stares a little too long or too appreciatively, strong arms crossed and his eyes hard and sharp.
Bruce gently taps his bicep and he hates the way he melts. “Do you want the chicken nuggets with or without apple slices?”
“Without.”
“Jay.”
“FINE.”
Give Jason his “he asked for No pickles” moment. It has to embarrass Bruce enough to jump in traffic, thought.
Damian has his own league and none of them can really compete with it. I think, during parent’s night, he drags Bruce off to proudly showcase his gallery of portraits.
Bruce is very moved when he realizes they’re almost all him.
There’s portraits of Dick, too, and Alfred, and a comically bad one of Tim. “Damian, they’re very beautiful. Thank you.”
“I painted them with the blood of your enemies.”
“…Thank you.”
#protective sons >>>>>>>#dick grayson#jason todd#damian wayne#bruce wayne#bruce wayne is a good dad#batdad#battinson#batfam#dc#dc comics#text#text post
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Was doing something unrelated but
Can you imagine a world where nobody knows the batkids are actually Batman's children and hence, when they hear them yelling at each other "I'll report this to Batman!" They think it's actually serious team discussion
And they don't know that for them it literally translates into "I'm telling dad!"
Like, You see Nightwing arguing with Red Hood and going "Oh, i'm SO reporting this to Batman"
"OH NO, YOURE NOT"
"YES I AM"
And everyone else thinks this is serious? And it could affect Hood's status as an ally?
But really is just Dick telling his little brother he's snitching about his broken arm to their dad-
Or you see Red Robin trying to bribe Robin and Spoiler "I'm reporting your actions to Batman"
"Yeah, gotta start the report about it, and he's going to be so-"
"... How much?"
And they smile maliciously, and anyone else thinks RR did something REALLY bad but it's just that he exceeded his weekly allowed coffee and his sibblings found out
Because they also do it to other people, like Tim does it to Supes when he's arguing with Kon-
#batfamily#Batman#good dad bruce wayne#bruce wayne#man has too many children#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#dc#dc comics#damian wayne#robin#stephanie brown#spoiler
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messy sketch on the phone because it was the only thing I could draw on😞 I haven't drawn on my phone for a long time, so you can see a lot of mistakes here BUT I DON'T CARE guys I enjoyed the process.
#dc#dc fanart#artists on tumblr#batman#dc robin#fanart#batfam#damian wayne#bruce wayne#bruce is a good dad#my art
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Superman: I haven’t seen you at the watchtower for a while. Where have you been the last few weeks, Batman?
Bruce: Rehab.
Superman, worriedly: Oh, I’m so sorry- I never knew you struggled with that. If you don’t mind me asking, what for?
Bruce, grimacing as he watches public footage of Signal and Red Hood starting a dumpster fire out of Pro-Joker merch: ..adoption.
#‘bruce wayne is a bad dad’ ‘bruce wayne is a good parent!!’ NO. Bruce Wayne is a wine mom#he has tacky 2000’s beige signs around the house that his kids beg him to take down#wine. sleep. vigilante. repeat!!#jason steals them and puts them in Tim’s CEO office#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#superman#clark kent#justice league#batman and robin#robin#incorrect batman quotes#incorrect batfamily quotes#I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE DYNAMIC DUO MOVIE#duke thomas#signal#signal dc#red hood#batkids#hes proud but can’t condone this or else it’ll turn into Duke and Jason burning down entire warehouses next#rehab was Alfred making him sit through lectures on communication
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Prompt:
Jason insists on being the bait for a joint mission with the Bats. But the moment he starts “screaming” during the interrogation process, Batman calls the whole thing off and smashes right through the window and into the first thug.
Absolutely nobody is surprised by this development. Except Jason.
#the moment Jason starts screaming theatrically Bruce gets hardcore flashbacks#to the audio feed he recovered of Jason from the warehouse#no he cannot listen to this again#not when his son is right there and BRUCE CAN STILK SAVE HIM#Jason: dude you KNEW this was part of the plan why did you ruin it? wh- are you CRYINGbv#Bruce was against this plan from the start but Jason INSISTEA#Tim: uh oh this is NOT good#Bruce is physically incapable to hear Jason scream and do nothing#he tried he really did#Jason has a lot of feelings#jason todd#batfamily#ghost talks#dick grayson#batfam#bruce wayne#robin#red hood#tim drake#batdad#good dad bruce wayne#prompts
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DC x DP Prompt: Bruce is bad at emoting but at least ghosts are empathic (too bad bat kids are not)
Was reading Twincognito on AO3 when I stumbled across this gem again:
~
" “Danny, Tim. I was just…checking in. Is everything alright?” Curse his inability to make meaningful conversation when it wasn’t a life or death situation.
They glanced at each other and shrugged.
Then Danny hauled himself out of the bed and walked over to Bruce.
Bruce tried not to let too much excitement show on his face. "
~
Now I really want to read a story where Bruce adopts Danny post Meta trafficking and is being his usual emotionally constipated self. His kids keep getting mad at him because he's treating their new meta brother who was trafficked poorly (generally being stilted in conversation with him, walking away hurriedly mid-conversation, avoiding Danny when he's feeling really awkward, etc). They think Bruce is discriminating against Danny for being a civilian, meta, dealer's pick, but really it's just Bruce being horribly socially awkward. Danny knows this because of ghost empathy and find the whole thing hilarious. The whole thing comes to a head with the Bat Kids staging an intervention in the Bat Cave.
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#batfam#batman#danny phantom#danny fenton#bruce wayne is a good dad#bruce wayne#bruce is terrible at feelings#the whole thing comes to a head with the bat kids hosting an intervention in the bat cave#maybe like a five plus one set up?#each time one of the bat kids thought bruce was discriminating against danny#and one time where they realized 'no#he is just that awkward'#dealer's choice if alfred thinka bruce is discriminating or not too#thinking this is either before adopting duke or not long after#because its one thing to be a light and shadow meta and another to be as OP as Danny is#also i'm thinking they don't know danny is a halfa#like they think he's just an unfortunately useful meta that got trafficked#could also have danny encountering his new siblings in and out of uniform knowing who they are without them revealing it for extra fun#idk#couldn't get this out of my head#my original post#fic prompt#story prompt#prompt#please guys i have no spoons but i want to read it so bad#🥺
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My favourite thing ever is when Jason is drawn to resemble Bruce because I KNOWW his ass would HATE it😭😭
Dick: hey Jason you haven’t forgotten our meet u— oh my god are you ok?? What happened?
Jason *rocking back and forth on the floor with a traumatised look in his eyes, whispering in horror* someone mistook me for Bruce in the grocery store today.
Random kid at a charity event pointing at Jason standing grumpily in a corner: who’s that?
Bruce (smiling fondly): that’s my son Jason!
Random kid: he looks like you! :D
Jason: *leaves the room*
Bruce (running after him): jason, Jason they didn’t mean anything by it, Jason, you’re going to jump off a balcony just because of a child’s observation Jason?
#Jason dangling off the balcony sobbing#THIS IS THE WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE#I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE#I SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD ITS TOO LATE FOR ME#WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO DESERVE THIS#actually don’t answer that#AGONY PURE AGONY#I WISH I WAS BACK IN ETHIOPIA AT LEAST THAT WAS MORE MERCIFUL#Bruce: *nervously* Jason please step back from the ledge#dc comics#batman#batfam#dcu#batfamily#bruce wayne#dc robin#jason todd#red hood#bruce Wayne and Jason Todd#good dad bruce wayne#shitpost#incorrect batman quotes#incorrect batfamily quotes
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i think my favorite Dad!Bruce trait is when ppl make him so desperate to give his kids anything and everything. it’s such a dad thing to do, right?
you want some money? here’s five grand, no questions asked. i bought you this book, i thought you’d like it. i remembered you told me you like apples so there’s an orchard in the backyard now. you want to keep a cow back there too? yeah of course.
anything that is mine is yours. anything in the world can belong to you if you just ask me. i just want you to be happy. i want to show i love you.
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Bruce then compliments him more and Dick busts a move. Every. Single. Time. Without fail.
Commission Info / Kofi
#batman#batman comics#batman dc#dc comics#comics#dc#dcu#dc universe#dick grayson#richard grayson#batfam#the batfam#the batfamily#batfamily#robin#dick robin#bruce#bruce wayne is a good dad#bruce wayne is a good parent#good dad bruce wayne#good parent bruce wayne#batman fan art#batman fan comic#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#illustration#digital illustration#clip studio paint#digital drawing
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honestly one of the main reasons I like dc is that they can’t keep a storyline straight for shit. anything I don’t like is just *not real*. that’s different storyline babes what are you talking about???
like at this point I can consider shit like wfa and hell even well written fanfics as canon bc who knows what’s going on with those funky little people?? certainly not the dc writers
#like anything I want to be true is and no one can stop me#if I want my gay little characters to be gay and happy then I can ignore everything preventing it#Bruce being a good dad#canon to me#jason has ptsd and is working on it? canon#the batfamily is a family? canon bc I say so#Alfred is alive and well and actually is immortal#timkon#stephcass#jayroy#all canon to me and the fucked up dc continuity can’t do shit#dc#dc comics#batman#batfamily#jason Todd#dick grayson#tim drake#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#duke thomas#damian wayne#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth
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Bruce: About the elephant in the room
Damian and Tim: ....
Bruce: Anyone wants to explain?
Tim:Not really, no
Bruce: I'm not mad, I'm quite impressed actually
Bruce: How did you put her in my living room? And what is she doing here?
Damian: Grayson missed Zitka
Bruce: So you put her in my house? How?!
#Zitka the elephant#damian and tim duo#tim and damian#tim drake#damian wayne#incorrect batman quotes#batfam incorrect quotes#bruce wayne#incorrect batfamily quotes#batman#dick grayson and damian wayne#dick grayson#incorrect quote#inncorrect quotes#batfamily#batfam#elephant#bruce wayne is a good dad#bruce wayne is a good parent#alfred pennyworth
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