#Genuinely possible it takes A Day
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The Funniest thing about QuintSum though is that while I say that each Act takes 1 month each because I want Act 1 (Arc 1-7) to take place in June, Act 2 (Arc 8-12) to take place in July, and Act 3 (Arc 13-18 also known as what will be Squirrel Punt) takes place in August because I want it to take place over the Summer
If you actually Count It (and you can because I've done the epic mistakes of a) having a style that showcases Basically everything the characters go through b) mentioning the passage of time like a FUCKING FOOL) it's closer to like. Eh. Act 1 is like 10 days and Act 2 is like. 5? Ignoring all the between-chapters timeskips of which there are a Solid few and I owe them my life
Also now that I am actually counting on it what the fuck is it with me and making A Whole Day last around 5 chapters on the average that's really funny
#QuintSum#Deilight#Time is the One bitch I don't even try with#THAT#Is NOT my fucking problem#That is the last literary domain I have to conquer and the one literary domain I will Not Try To#Come back in however long it takes me to finish finalizing Quint#And however long it takes me to write the first draft of Punt#To find out how many days that takes if you actually look at the text#My head math based on what I'm going to do with it tho#Eh#Genuinely possible it takes A Day
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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violently forcing myself to have better days
#everyone’s different and this isn’t true for everybody of course:#but a lot of the time we have more control over things than we can see in a difficult moment#like for example#a negative thought is inevitable and not something you can just stop. however you CAN decide from there how you let it effect you#it’s way easier said than done but you genuinely can be like hey I’m going to have a good day today#I like to set my intentions for the day and not allow my trauma nightmares to dictate how my whole day goes#but in order to do that I have to consciously decide that I deserve better and then create that for myself#does this make sense?#do things you know you enjoy/ things that make you feel better. take care of yourself. create little healthy routines to do each day#even if it’s just for 5 or 10 minutes#you have to act to make a genuine positive change in your life and circumstances#tried to say this as well as I could but I struggle w articulating exactly what I mean#like my thoughts are too complex to translate into words#anyways though I just wanted to add this- this post is not to make anybody feel bad whatsoever.#if you struggle with certain disorders and such it genuinely might be close to impossible for you to actually be able to have that control#and that’s okay. it doesn’t make you any less of a person and it is not your fault that you experience those difficulties#I just wanted to remind people that it is possible to control certain aspects of your life and it is possible to snap yourself out of it#I know I need to remember this as often as I can#that’s why I shared it#I hope this makes sense I do not know if it does lmao#(the tags)#my thoughts are so jumbled up. idk what other word to use lmao
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my princess nonsense is being encouraged watch ouyt imabout to be eneaabled
OK WHATF ATHAT'S SO CUTE I HAD TO MAKE IT i know realistically there's little to no chance that rei DOESN'T know how to work heels 🤣 BUT IMAGINE.....ING.... YAKUMO GENTLY GUIDING REI IN HEELS, WEEKS BEFORE THE BIG GALA AND HAVING NONE OF HIS NORMAL FEAR OF PHYSICAL TOUCH BC HIS [TEACHER MODE] IS OVERRIDING HIS INSECURITY
#rei looking directly at the camera like why are you subjecting me to this. i do not need any of this. i know how to do it#rei wearing stilettos the size of your head so he becomes ur very tall bird goth gf#you know how yakumo gets when he instructs someone on how to cook something#he becomes confident and just tells ppl how to do stuff without his usual amount of stutter and secondguessing#i'm gonna pretend that after his stiletto training in misty vale he gains a TINY MOLECULE of confidence due to experience#like [i can help you if you've never done it before?]#honestly i can't imagine this scenario happening because i am so SURE that rei can walk in heels HAHAHA even tho nothing has proven that#SOMETHING COME PROVE ME WRONG SO MY DELUSIONS CAN SLIDE CLOSER TO POSSIBILITY#anyway even if rei didn't know how to wear heels#would he ever mention it? would yakumo ever learn of it?#rei would probably be all . i don't need to wear heels. they can't even see them under the dress. i'll wear my practical shoes#but if he can't get away with that and will be forced to wear heels at the party...#maybe he'll go [meh. i'll figure it out] and just not wear them until the day of the dance#at which point his feet will hurt after 20 minutes and for the whole night he takes any chance to sit down#rei can be frequently spotted on SOME surface SOMEWHERE in the palace. sitting all splayed out and uncaring of propriety#because he is in PAIN and these shoes are STUPID and why do people wear them for ANYTHING . Royals are so IMPRACTICAL#yakumo keeps trying to avoid heels for the dance because he doesn't want to be any taller than he already is#i bet there's a full convo about it between him and eiden#eiden trying to reassure him that if he wants to wear heels then he shouldn't let others' perception stop him from doing so#but if he genuinely doesn't want to wear them then that's ok too#eiden craning his neck up at yakumo in heels like you're my pretty princess 1-2 heads taller than me your height doesn't matter 🥰#i'm now torn. yakumo and rei both wearing heels now? in order to stay at similar heights?#or. rei starting out with heels. getting tired of them. going barefoot for the rest of the night lol#yakumo and rei still dancing in their ballgowns together but a much shorter rei leads a yakumo in heels#yes. yes this is the vision#yakurei#replies#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival rei
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don't talk to me until i've had my morning kuwana coffee (yapping under the cut)
this is the silliest thing i've done in a while and it was worth every dollar. laughed so hard i cried when it was served to me (and yeah. table service means a stranger had to serve it to me. i'm so sorry to her 💀) i need you all to understand that photos don't do justice the visual impact of having this served to me irl
ate him btw
goodbye kuwana 😔
#jitxt#my stuff#kuwana jin#sorry i have to post this for internet clout + it's so fucking funny#genuinely i would stop mid meal and mid conversation to shake my head and say “kuwana” out loud#take a sip and then start laughing again at his ruined face 😭#the necklace i was wearing broke earlier that day and honestly i was so ecstatic about this drink that i nearly forgot all about it#thanks kuwana 🥺#honestly i was tempted to do Gay Head Tilt Kuwana from passthroughtime's post a while back but i was worried it would be too small so 😔#but i think this one is just as funny. either way the end result was perfect#10/10 would buy overpriced coffee again#lots of possibilities.... i wonder what i should have printed on a coffee if i go again.....
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#blocks an anon that says they reported my blog for promoting ‘modern day slavery’ and an anon ragging on all 5 of the boys also disappears#shocking 😱#the modern day slavery thing is because of the dynamics of my marriage which....#say a lot about your ability to understand and respect different relationships#or possibly just speak to the truth about the anon's maturity#anyway my husband ordered me a sourdough breakfast sandwich from dunkin today and is going to eat the bacon#because my autism makes it so I struggle a lot with food but the number one part of our power exchange is he takes care of me#even when it comes to my 'weird' eating habits which literally any autistic person can tell you comes with a whole host of shame#but he helps me through every fucking step#i truly try not to brag too much about how good I have it relationship wise but genuinely GET YOU A LOVE LIKE OURS SORRY NOT SORRY#best friends since high school#ride or dies since high school#we hadn't talked for over a year and when his life started to implode back in 2008 i was THE ONLY person he knew he could trust
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Anybody know how to get rid of a curse 😭
#throwback to when i was a kid and my mother the monster that she is wished upon me to never be happy just as she isn't#and that i should never be granted love or happiness. just like her.#this happened repeatedly#my heart gets broken over and over while ppl around me find love and get to keep it and be happy#i feel so fucking broken. like im literally not a person. idk what im doing wrong#i love my friends' love. im genuinely happy to see them thrive#ive been alone and yearning for a quarter of a century#i cant take it anymore#of course i had to fall in love with someone who wont be with me#thats the easiest way to make sure im fucked up and alone for as long as possible#and it's happened several times#they may love me but they cant be w me#I'm literally so fucking sad#the one person who was gonna make it work. i made them hate me bc of some huge misunderstanding abt the nature of our relationship#i miss them the most in the whole world. i think about them constantly. biggest regret of my life#the grief of it all is eating me alive. i keep getting close to being happy n in love and. dare i say it. loved#and then its all getting ripped away from me. again and again#every day it hurts and it makes me paralysed and i cant do shit or be who i want. i wish i could b sedated forever#goodnight lol
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dude im
i think this is the first time in... as long as i can remember that life's actually going well. like sometimes life just Goes By until something bad happens or whatever... but like, ive had a lot of pretty good days in the past month ish? ive gone to two really amazing local shows recently, plus some other concerts, im seeing my favorite band next week, i might be making merch for another one of my favorite bands.... and yeah ive had shitty days and i got sick but like.. i remember those days well so the inbetween is just, that.. the in between... god idk becoming more involved in my local scene has been so fucking surreal..
#like its hasnt been great weeks back to back but#ive had really great experiences? yk#so like... those mainly stick out to me bc of my memory issues#and like.. ugh#i dont even know it just feels like things might actually start getting#fun#ever since i went to my first incubus concert i like... knew i wanted to fucking go to as many as possible#and thags coming true!#ive found so many local bands i absolutely fucking love and theyve become what i regularly listen to#which makes that so much easier#and im hoping to eventually get my license because like... i need to start drivinnt#which will make traveling easier#if i do get to sell shirt i can make money#and stickers#and just#idk im actually excited for the future for the first time in so longm#like.. i know So many people like concerts#but just like#theyve genuinely given me a reason to live#i love seeing people at shows and i love taking photos and meeting the bands and just everything about it#i met a guy whos been to two shows i have and i got his insta n like#that shows that like hey maybe i can find a group of people to go with yk?#even if its not him or whatever#i still want to try and make a movie one day but i really am considering working for bands and shit cause like#i dont want to be rich i wanna live w a couple people and travel and actually Live#as long as i can pay the bills and get gas im okay#i mean fuck im even willing to stick around my home town longer if it means that i get to do that shit yk?#idk im rambling but whatever#just like#fuck im so thankful to have found a place i genuinely enjoy and most of the time can express that pretty easily
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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from the stuff i’ve heard marc’s former honda teammates (dani jorge and pol in their media careers but joan also i guess) say about him now that they’re racing is generally quite positive, both on a professional/riding level but also seemingly on a personal level? i’m wondering what you make of that given that, yeah, marc doesn’t seem like a very good teammate (unless you’re alex who i’ve left off this list). like MARC wants to separate on and off track stuff and it seems like all of these guys are willing too at least in retrospect, so he can’t have truly burned bridges with them. do you have any thoughts on that
(x, x) most riders are quite good at not burning bridges with each other! it's not like marc's competitors don't know that this stuff is kinda part of the game. I mean, all of marc's past teammates were also trying to assert themselves within the internal hierarchy... you can say that certain teammates engage in 'worse' behaviour than others, but, like, these people do understand they're supposed to be fighting each other! a baseline degree of nastiness is factored in and will be accepted to a greater or lesser extent by your rivals - especially when it comes to asserting yourself in intra-team power struggles. you might hate the other guy in the moment, but generally speaking once the active part of the rivalry is done with... you will probably get over it. marc's fellow riders are aware of how ultra-competitive marc is - and to a certain point they do respect it, not least because they're aware that this is part of the reason why marc has ended up with all those titles. it's like dani said, right, it's marc's strong suit. and in general, you do have to say that there's relatively few teammate pairings that devolve to the level of toxicity that it completely destroys the interpersonal relationship. you might need some level of preexisting animosity... most of the purely competitive sins can be healed with a little time
on the 'separating on-track and off-track' thing... well. this is kind of a question of how you define these things, you can say that marc generally speaking isn't going to massively hold grudges over isolated on-track incidents or whatever... but he doesn't just leave his fighting to the track, and personally I've also never felt he can entirely separate these things out in his mind. can you really say his professional and private relationships with other riders are completely detached from one another? mostly, he's opted to be pretty disengaged from his fellow riders as a collective, and obviously that's a good way to not take things too personally... it's all part of the game, isn't it? sometimes it's good to go with the straightforward approach: marc tells you he will make your life hell, he does indeed make your life hell, and then you both move on with your lives and can maybe actually have a pretty amiable relationship with him in years to come. he's not really defying your expectations at any point here, is he now? it's still a question for each of them as individuals as to whether they think that kind of behaviour is above board and acceptable or not... but everyone by now knows that marc plays these games, so it's not like they're going in blind
and it's not like other former teammates are constantly badmouthing each other. I mean... look, let's just cut to the chase here and bring in valentino as our reference point (as he is for the sport as a whole, which by the way does also help create a certain baseline of acceptability for marc's antics - maybe goated riders are just supposed to be dicks who knows). vale's premier class teammates were 1) nobody (2000-01), 2) tohru ukawa (2002), 3) nicky hayden (2003; 2011-12), 4) carlos checa (2004), 5) colin edwards (2005-2007), 6) jorge lorenzo (2008-10; 2013-16), 7) maverick vinales (2017-20), 8) franco morbidelli (2021), and 9) andrea dovizioso (2021). of these eight men (let's just exclude 'nobody' for now), do you know how many had serious complaints at any point about valentino as a teammate? that's right, it's one guy. one. some of valentino's other teammates, like hayden, checa and edwards, were even quite actively positive about their whole experience. this is the thing - you do need some specific circumstances for teammate rivalries to escalate from 'being kinda bitchy every other month' to 'actively fantasising about stabbing each other'. not accounting for natural interpersonal animosity, let's list some circumstantial factors that you need to get a bridge-burning-worthy level of feud:
you need a competitive bike. it is possible to beef about development direction when you're in the trenches (cf late 2010's yamaha, 2020's honda)... but generally speaking this is going to be quite low-level petty stuff, not actual war
you also need something that approaches competitiveness between teammates. if one teammate is unquestionably stronger than the other one, then it is very unlikely that you are going to get any open hostilities. the tension comes when the two sides are close enough to each other for the internal hierarchy to actually be a contentious issue (this is also basic self preservation... if you're the far weaker teammate then you do not want to make the situation troublesome, because then you will be the one to be fired)
following on from those first two things... well, it doesn't hurt to have a title fight in the mix. there are also other ways you can generate competitive stakes, like, for instance, if you and your teammate know that one of you will be out of a job soon. basically, it helps to have something to squabble over
it is maybe easy to forget how rare it is this century for teammates to be fighting directly for a title, let alone over the course of multiple seasons. only two 1-2's since the year 2000 and they're both for the factory yamaha's (though 2006, 2011-13 and 2017 did all prominently feature two factory hondas). which means that for valentino, the prerequisites were met just the once in his premier class career... and yes, the results were pretty memorable, but (topic! for! another! post!) it's worth pointing out that even that relationship was pretty much 'fine' whenever there was a sizeable disparity between the two of them performance-wise (2008 and 2013 are the most clear cut examples). I think the way I'd frame it with marc is that he has a bunch of mildly dubious strategies up his sleeve to assert himself within the team, which don't really deviate that far from what you'd expect from a rider of marc's calibre and only need to be escalated under specific circumstances. that doesn't mean he doesn't have the potential to be ruthless, but up until now it's mostly been a fairly 'acceptable' level of ruthlessness on the intra-team level... and not something that is likely to make other riders actually hate him
taking marc's teammates one by one... dani was the closest to meeting the bridge-burning prerequisites, though he was only a title rival in marc's rookie season. and marc did go further with him than he did with anyone else, and dani has made some pointed comments about marc's style as a teammate... but yes, he is fonder of marc these days. partly I'd just emphasise again that this is a fairly natural progression when you've stopped directly competing for long enough, and partly it's also just a question of individual personality - dani's not massively into holding grudges. then there's jorge, who... I mean, they might as well not have been teammates, given that jorge was either too slow or too injured to even be sharing any track space with marc. you have to put that one down primarily to circumstance, seeing as jorge's own track record on the teammate front isn't exactly spotless. marc and jorge beefing in 2019 would have been pretty dumb and also a massive waste of everyone's time in a year in which marc singlehandedly won the team's championship. even those two needed more to get things going
moving on to the dark years, pol and marc had an extremely stop-and-start partnership on a honda that was generally pretty uncompetitive... so the only stuff they could get ever so mildly irritable about were riveting incidents like 'marc saying pol wasn't the biggest championship threat' (neither of them were) or 'pol saying he'd copy marc's set up' (which proved entirely useless). not exactly title decider territory, is it now, and marc very much had pol covered as a challenger throughout their partnership. also, those two do have a longer history! they've known each other since they were kids and hold a pretty significant place in each other's careers. now that pol's more or less retired, it's natural there'll be quite a lot of sentimentality there - which will paper over any small cracks that appeared during those two years. and joan was a one year teammate at a time in which the bike was consistently close to offing them both. they only managed to start a sunday race together as teammates on thirteen occasions. it would take some serious effort to engineer a feud with that little opportunity, and, really, why on earth would you bother. maybe if honda had gone for rinsy rather than joan for the factory seat, it could've been a bit more prickly, but it's unlikely that it would have escalated beyond that
this is the thing, right, the only one of these partnerships that would have been worth burning bridges over was dani, and even there marc pretty much had him handled after the first season. in general, marc has been pretty clear on how he's not interested in making friends with the other side of the garage while the teammate relationship is ongoing... which is fine! there's some prominent-ish teammate pairings that are actually good friends, some teammate pairings where one of them is actively helping out and advising the other one, but some riders prefer to just keep their distance. it would have been a little silly of marc to start a feud with a teammate who is galaxies away from being a competitive threat, let alone a title rival, but generally it is possible to toe the line between 'attempting to suppress your internal rivals enough to stop them from becoming a problem for you' and 'taking radical enough action to make your internal rivals despise you'
especially in the post-dani era, marc never really had any need to push things too far... and, let's face it, how many of your teammate relationships end up with burnt bridges is also quite frankly a question of luck and circumstance. do you want to guess which top rider on paper has the worst track record this century with premier class teammate feuds, in terms of a) how many they've had, and b) how little public reconciliation there has been since the end of the rivalry?
yes, that's right, it's the first name that comes to mind when you're thinking of toxic and conflict-prone riders: andrea dovizioso. that old devil, constantly causing trouble. just couldn't stop undermining his poor, innocent teammates. can somebody please stop this ruthless bully before it's too late
I think you get the point. I would personally suggest that dovi is not in fact the worst teammate it is possible to have in a motogp top team. he just happened to find himself in a situation where he was teammates with two separate guys he did not click with at all, in situations that involved a pairing of riders who were (or had the potential to be) competitive with each other, as well as some proper stakes attached to the rivalry. in general, situational factors are going to determine this stuff more than anything else... and marc more often than not does have a reasonably good feel for picking his battles. he's flirted with the line, but he's mostly avoided crossing it. he hasn't had to
#'joan also i guess' hold on now anon that's his former teammate relationship that's most important to ME i love them...#elephant in the room is 'let's revisit this in 1.5 years time'. ik people will try to make that just about the vr46 factor but *shrug*#i kinda feel like maybe i should have mentioned in the casey/marc post that casey is arguably more of an outlier than marc is#like his alienation with the sport ran deep which is how you get him engaging in melandri slander who was pee one million in 2008#y'know casey/jorge ducati was a real possibility for a hot second and my take on that would ALSO be 'hm yeah maybe not <3'#ESPECIALLY given that it's quite likely the incoming jorge would've been paid way way more than casey was ('09 ducati... let's not even)#AND given how yamaha had repeatedly burnt casey and then handed jorge the seat on a silver platter... like idk man!!#genuinely fascinating '10 counterfactual... i do like casey/marc but i've also game planned casey/vale and casey/jorge i'm a completionist#(either dani or vale would've likely won the title in that timeline. but crucially casey/jorge interpersonally would've been. well)#//#brr brr#alien tag#batsplat responds#morale tag#i need an ask tag so badly but i can't be bothered to back tag... i'll do it at some point#in my notes i did once actually rank the aliens by how much they'd suck as teammates but the order might be a wee bit controversial#i'm sorry to the guy i ranked number one but he did objectively have the worst track record like... it has to be said#i think u have like. different modes right. where how bad u are as a teammate is scaled to how big the threat ur facing is#now EYE actually think marc's not got a particularly *great* neutral mode either but it's not bridge-burning mode#also what even is a burnt bridge... i mean god knows even valentino and jorge are taking photos together these days...#jorge's still conducting autopsies of old beef every fortnight but otoh he's joking about motegi on instagram which is crazyyyyyy#you genuinely cannot. CANNOT convince me that if marc/jorge had had a title fight as teammates it wouldn't have been a MESS#there is literally no way. none whatsoever#and if i said dani had a higher number of strained premier class teammate relationships than valentino did... what then...
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vent in tags sorry
cw: mention of loss
#adding a long note to the beginning so no one sees the actual vent in the case that they don’t want to which is absolutely okay#okay that’s probably good#i feel like a failure today.#my car wouldn’t start on friday and i haven’t had a moment to actually call a mechanic until today#called early in the morning and he said he’d call me back with a time#i’ve reached out multiple times since then and have heard NOTHING#if i don’t get it fixed today i’ll have to take my partners car instead#and when i asked them if that would possibly be okay#they started off on a rant about how they were planning to do all this shit tomorrow morning and now can’t if they don’t have their car#but genuinely. how tf was i supposed to know about their plans?? why did they have to say it all like this is completely my fault???#i’m sorry that i’m still in a not so good mental place right now and might forget to do things in a more timely manner#i’ve had two grandparents pass away in the span of a few WEEKS. give me a little grace.#i give them the same understanding every day when they’re having a rough time#so why can’t they offer me the same thing?#i know they’re just stressed and tired and busy but FUCK SO AM I#i’m just. over it. i want to go to sleep.#and by sleep i mean literal sleep i’m not insinuating anything darker i promise#i may be in a rough spot mentally but it is not that kind of rough <3 i’m safe#just. very tired. and in need of support.#i feel like i’m always giving and rarely getting support in this relationship.#and now i’m just feeling like a burden and an inconvenience for even needing the extra support in the first place#the urge to run away and start my life over is strong holy shit
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2x04, Old Wounds
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets spoilers#yellowjackets meta#lottie matthews#shauna shipman#im too lazy to get a download of the new episodes or to gif this so this is what we get!!! but i feel CRAZY about it#bc also like. the implication of callie being equivalent to It#shauna begs to callie and lottie begs to Whatever She Begs To#callie as the emblem of shauna's future she is what she is pouring herself into but callie is also inextricably tied#to shauna's past. the daughter jackie should have had. another earthly presence that jackie is haunting#and lottie's whole thing being like. ive moved on from that now. im free now. im better now.#the past rising up to grab her in the place where she meant to make her future but which really is like.#a monument to her past in every possible way#also the idea of words and blood being equivalent sacrifices#shauna kills jackie with words.#also im thinking about like within the torah how when they transition from the temple days to the rabbinic era#how prayer genuinely takes the place of what would have before been animal sacrifices#liturgy as bloodspilling.... it wants blood.....#callie wants blood as in she wants the fullness of her parenst she wants them to see her and trust her...#im spiralling!!!#SHAUNALOTTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Stealing this image from twitter and bringing it over here, because holy shit, some of the clowns I have been seeing talk about the game lately.
#Novice Network is a toxic waste pit right now#filled to the brim with returners who think they’re hot shit talking about ‘If Square really thought a cutscene was important they would hav#e put voice acting in it’ and other shit like that#‘I just skip all non voiced because the voiced cutscenes recap all that boring shit anyway”’#no they don’t???#Is THIS what a new Expac brings out?#because it’s genuinely dreadful#do you even enjoy the game at that point? Complain about fetch quests complain about the dialogue complain about the writing quality#why not just go play a game you like???#It’s getting to the point where I just have my chat log closed most of the time#not leaving NN because it WAS really nice during the post-Endwalker patch cycle#when mostly only people who actually liked the game (????) were still playing.#but the amount of toxic attitude returners I’ve seen in there lately is disheartening.#I hope it’ll come back down in the following weeks#once they’ve burnt through Dawntrail and decided the game doesn’t have anything for them#and they’ve sufficiently wasted their time#instead of just… taking it slow and taking in the world and the sights and the story……..#I’ve heard that Dawntrail is basically ARR 2. Which. big if true.#Because we could use that.#A return to form#with the new systems and developments in the game#bringing the story back down a little bit and reining it in#I am VERY excited to get there some day.#but I know that these people I’m bitching and moaning about aren’t thrilled#(honestly that just makes me like it more)#Anyway#point is#if you’re playing a game why the hell aren’t you engaging with said game?#What’s the point of skipping to the end as fast as possible only to get annoyed when there’s no more content?#This is exactly the problem that I’ve heard ex-WoW players complain about with regards to their player base
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am i so hard to care about?
#i need to vent and i know u guys cant stand me because i can feel it (and certainly from the anon hate) but i think im gonna have an ulcer#if i dont put this out somewhere#SH s*icide tw !!!!!#i need some advice or opinions because i feel like im losing it#i dont understand why my friends cant care about me#i know !!! i know i seem out of touch and insane because i say this so often and the question to someone reading would come natural: maybe#it is just ur perception…. maybe u suck ass as a friend too#and i do ponder about that!!!!!! i take those possibilities into consideration i do. and i genuinely dont think i suck as a friend. i always#check in. if they seem off i ask how they feel. i ask updates on their stuff. i dont think i deserve this tbh#but especially when i am struggling they just disappear#like even when i reach out and let them know im doing bad. they clearly read my measages and choose to ignore them#these are supposed to be my best friends#these days ive been so bad. and trigger warning again#i just feel so suicidal and i have been hurting myself in the desperate attempt to cope and manage these thoughts#and i dont tell them these things#i dont share the details because 1) it is too much to dump on someone and 2) they dont show any interest even on the surface level of my#problems so i just wouldnt tell them the deeper issues#i am just in so much pain. and i also feel a lot of anger because of their behavior. i feel so so hurt by it. so many years of this going on#of them just not even acknowledging my struggles while i was in the midst of them and trying still to support them and be there for e#whatever they had going on. and getting nothing in return#i hate that i feel so angry but i do. and ive been swallowing this anger and pain for so long i feel it eating my insides#even my therapist doesnt understand why i am friends with people that dont care about me#i dont know what i should do#i want to say something#actually i already talked about this to one of them one year ago exactly and i told her all these things and she just said she didnt know#why i was ignored. and then still kept being a part of it#the thing is i am so upset and my mental health is so so so bad. i am supposed to spend new years eve with them in two days but i dont know#how i can do that feeling like this#but if i speak to them about it i think it will also ruin the mood#if someone has any thoughts or advice it would be very welcome….
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latin american spanish dub of Hazbin changing Valentino calling Angel 'amorcito' to 'my darling', in English, in one of his messages is such a galaxy brained change i'm still thinking about it
#happy days in hell (hazbin tag)#valentino hazbin#valentino hazbin hotel#like it preserves the affected-ness of the endearment and it standing out from the words around it#not to mention they changed 'princesa' to 'princesita' that one time to make him putting emphasis on it sound better#perhaps i should have expected but latinx spanish dub is So good for Valentino both in actor and bc of little touches like that#of the other ones i've seen spanish and italian are pretty decent but japanese is just. oof. no#latinx spanish Val is genuinely tied with english for me he does Val's rapid emotional changes so well#and the masquerade dressing room scene..... look. still very scary and effective on an emotional level#but setting that aside. holy SHIT it's sexy. aided by the fact that 'tu respondes?'#just works so well for sexymenacing whispering#but like. i would not sell my soul but if the possibility of that man saying 'buen chico' to me was on the table#a bitch would take a minute to think about it!!
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#ok I’m so proud of myself bc this involves finance which is something I avoid at all costs but like I did it!!#my work failed to process my check which I should have received yesterday. I’m now expected to get it next week#and part of growing up poor is like. idk. this learned helplessness or defeatist attitude with money problems#like ohh it’s my bad I should’ve had more savings to cover waiting an extra week or longer for my monthly check#and historically I just shut down and panic while doing nothing bc this is my biggest possible stressor to come across#but!!! being around rich people? I’ve learned they negotiate!! and demand to not be inconvenienced!!#my work was like ehh I’m sorry too bad so sad about your check and I was like actually no#I explained how this impacts my ability to pay rent. my credit score. how they didn’t inform me in time to stop bill autopay#and asked what their detailed plan is to fix this#and within an hour admin was scrambling. four different people emailed me apologizing for the mix up#and they worked it out with finance to get me a $2000 loan to get me by until the check hits#but I was like actually no. I won’t be paying interest on this because I shouldn’t be penalized for your error#and so they GOT RID OF INTEREST#0% interest cash advance essentially that covers all my bills#I picked up the physical check for the 2k today so it’s legit thank god#I thanked everyone involved and remained extremely polite#and they said if there’s any other questions you have please let us know#so I was like actually you know what lmao#I explained that I’ve incurred fees for overdrafts and returned items due to bill autopay that I couldn’t cancel due to them informing me#basically the day of my check being late#and so I specifically said I’ve incurred $270 in fees at this point as a result of your error and I shouldn’t be expected to pay this.#and!! they just said… okay!!! I just got an email that they’ve processed a secondary check for $270!!#so like?!?! what?!?! is this what life is like when you don’t shy away from discussing money?!#im genuinely shocked. this is a life lesson. I never would have imagined this outcome#thank god I decided to not take it lying down
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