#Gay slytherin

[not-rab]

James *out of curiosity*: How did all four of you even befriend Regulus?

Evan: I helped fix his wand after I broke it

Barty: I stole his broom and refused to give it back unless he was nice to me

Pandora: I stalked him

Sirius: I'm his only biological brother and there's no refund button

[del-stars]

we do not make enough of the COMEDY it is that james is a fucking deer. like sirius being a dog and peter being a rat are obv tied to their characters but a deer is SO random. and i do not see it in fics enough. take the padfoot tropes and give them to prongs. students baffled because there was a deer walking around the dungeons? remus walking into the dorm and nearly shitting himself because there’s a deer sitting upright in james’ bed. whenever james is in a sticky situation he just goes deer mode and prances away

[squirrelxoxo]

Regulus would constantly be terrified that James would leave him because he was used to people leaving him for better people. The only cousin he liked left him for her boyfriend, his own brother left him for a new family, so what was stopping the love of his life from leaving him?

James, upon discovering this, decided the only way to convince him otherwise was to spend every hour of every day glued to his side to show him he wasn't going anywhere.

The skittles were not pleased.

[child-of-icarus]

Regulus, to the first years: There are only three rules in the Slytherin tower: The lake is off limits, never piss of Mcgonagall, and Barty Crouch Junior is a HOME WRECKING WHORE

Barty, from across the room: BITCH

[fiasco95]

Barty, barging into the Gryffindor common room: What’s up losers!

Sirius: Wh—

Barty: I actually don’t care, don’t answer that!

Remus: That—

Barty: Anywhoo! Am just here to collect my bitches!

James: Hey—!

Barty, looking at Pandora & Dorcas: Respectfully.

Barty, turning to Regulus: Disrespectfully.

Marauders & Friends:

Barty: Alright, great talk! Let’s go bitches!

Pandora, Regulus & Dorcas kissing their respective partners and following Barty out of the common room.

Marlene: …What the fuck just happened?

Lily: No fucking clue.

[sunseekerchild]

Dorcas: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Barty: weak, I sleep with two.

James: you're both pathetic.

Barty: oh yeah? and what do you sleep with?

James: Regulus.

[anxiousthoughts365]

3am in the Slytherin Dorm:

Barty: *whispering* Rosie

Evan:

Barty: *louder whispering* Oi, Rosie

Evan:

Barty: *straight up just talking* Rosie Posie, rosiest apple of my eye, my rose that by any other name would smell as sweet, oh Rosie my -

Regulus: *irritable and groggy* Merlin and Morganna both, Rosier, put me out of my misery before I do it for all of us and answer him

Evan: *completely awake* What, Bat?

Barty: Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

Evan:

Regulus:

Barty:

Evan: This is your fault for encouraging him to read, Black.

[birdieardley]

Because Regulus and James are dating, the Skittles and the Marauders spend a lot more time together and Sirius hates the fact that he appreciates Barty so much.

Barty: *Makes a joke*

Sirius laughs

Sirius realizes that Barty made the joke.

Sirius:

Barty:

Sirius: It wasn't funny.

[pxrty-crxsher]

Sirius: So how did you guys get together?

Barty: He was watching me, like a stalker.

Evan: Everyday, for a straight month.

Barty: Gay month you mean?

Remus: …

Sirius: Anyways.. what I mean is, what happened that made you think, ‘oh I want him as my boyfriend’ ?

Barty: He was stalking me and I thought it was hot.

[ilophilia]

Barty: Is your dick big enough for you to act the way that you do?

Evan: Yes.

Barty: Let's see it then.

Evan: Fine.

~~~

Barty: He can keep acting the way he does.

[remuslupinlovebot]

marauders era p links (18+)

all links lead to p0rn !! watch at your own risk and do not watch in public

part 2 out now!

REGULUS BLACK

regulus fingering you in his dorm

regulus bouncing you on his cock

JAMES POTTER

riding james when he visits you for summer break

james celebrating a quidditch win

james absolutely devouring you as if you were his last meal on earth (this is the hottest video)

james teasing you while you’re wearing his hoodie

james stuffing you full and showing how much you mean to him

james eating his pretty girl out

SIRIUS BLACK

sirius making his girl feel good

showing sirius what a good girl you are

69’ing with sirius

sirius using his long fingers to make you cum

morning fucks with sirius

sirius fucking you at your house

REMUS LUPIN

remus fucking your face

remus fucking you in the bathroom before a full moon

riding professor lupin

getting extra credit with professor lupin

BARTY CROUCH JR

bouncing on bartys cock

barty fucking the LIFE out of you

MARLENE MCKINNON

marlene riding the life out of you

marlene making you look in the mirror as she destroys you

marlene fingering you till you’re shaking

making a sex tape with marlene

marlene eating you out

making out with marlene

LILY EVANS

fucking lily with a d!ldo

intimate but intense foreplay with lily

fucking lily in the common room

sucking mommy’s tits like a good girl

roommate lily helping you out

car sex with lily

thanking lily for date night by eating her out

lily sitting on your face <3

using mommy’s tits to cum

MARY MACDONALD

mary bringing you to heaven with her fingers

mary sending you a video while you’re on a work trip

home alone with mary

fucking mary after coming home to her all dolled up

making mary cum

eating mary out by the pool

DORCAS MEADOWES

eating dorcas out till she’s whimpering

(doesn’t really look like dorcas but it’s hot so whatever) devouring dorcas on the kitchen counter

giving dorcas special treatment after a night out

dorcas riding you

RANDOM

marlene eating lily out to give her a break from studying

pansy parkinson riding the genuine life out of you

pandora, dorcas and barty having fun when the dorms are empty

foreplay with lily and nb partner (not RLLY p0rṉ)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ANY DON’T WORK!!

find part 2: here

[not-rab]

this with jily BUT james ends up falling in love with the therapist (*cough* regulus)

[rudamaruda520]

[first day of school]

Introvert Regulus: 😒

Extrovert Barty: Oh, you're cool. You're mine now.

[isabel-lillah]

when James and Reggie got together and James met Reg's friends he took one look at Barty and Evan and he just went god damn it not again

because the flashbacks to pre-relationship Sirius and Remus are hard and he does not want to go through that again

[child-of-icarus]

This except it’s literally just Starchaser

[icedcoffeebabyy]

Judge: do you swear to speak the truth and nothing but the truth.

James: I do.

Judge: what are your relations with regulus black.

James: omg dare.