#GOD I LOVE THEM

[rokonrrc2]

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To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.

Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.

Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.

Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.

The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.

The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.

[rayllurn]

idiots (affectionate <3)

[puckinghischier]

“He’s the heart and soul of our team”

-Luke talking about Jack 😭😭

i’m literally this 🤏🏼 close to crying rn

[battychiroptera]

AAAHHHHH the boys kept getting delayed so I was worried but they finally showed up today!!

Look at them 🥹

They are the first keychain I wanted to get to start my Malevolent ITA bag.

Thank you @citruspoisonn !!💕

[badboi-goodheart]

@junipersheepy

They've had a long week

[my-brain-soup]

Aww Eddie asking Firefox to follow Buck back on insta

Being so fr, Eddie was constantly mentioning him, like I'm not even making this up

[k-mraz]

shhh dont disturb them they're sharing mana after a tough day

[kawareo]

Lae'zel is pretty fluent in Common but since she still sometimes messes up some words, I don't believe she understands a third of all the big words Gale uses casually. My headcanon is that she memorizes them during the day and then goes to demand elaborations in the evening, and Gale is very happy to have someone to teach linguistics to.

By the end of the game she can call Vlaakith an pernicious, diminutive old fuck, cut to Gale in her corner wiping away a tear of pride

[huskerdust-loover]

Okay I've been thinking about this little stupid detail all fucking week.

I love how Husk grabs all four of Angel's hands.

He's just being so sweet and just accepting Angel for all that he is and I'm crying.

BUT THEN IT GETS EVEN CRAZIER CUZ

Angel literally puts his extra arms away just so that it will be easier for Husk to dance with him 😭😭😭😭😭

THIS SHIP!! THEY MAKE ME SICK TO MY STOMACH!!

[lesbos-crossings]

it’s always 2 dumb bitches telling each other “exaaaaactlyyyy”

[akamitrani]

Behold, ginger twinks supremacy.

[televised-eyes]

the way crowley’s lil head bobble lines up perfectly with aziraphale touching his back, it’s as if the touch caused an involuntary shiver up crowley’s spine…

[verkomy]

BIRTHDAY BOYS

[peachyygoblin]

Babysitting 🍂

[violetsandshrikes]

I will literally never forget in 2018 when they had to build a gym/playground for kea while they did construction in Fiordland, because otherwise the kea kept stealing road cones and other equipment.

[tojisun]

re: bimbo!reader (because i love her more than simon now)

thinkin about simon who, with all the scars and surgeries done to his hands and arms, has some sort of nerve damage that leaves him with trembling hands. and sometimes, when it's just a tad too cold or the rain is just too strong, his hands can't stop shaking so he hides them from you.

he is ashamed of how "damaged" he is; he is ashamed of being caught at his weakest, at his most vulnerable. so he stuffs his hands underneath your fluffy blankets or curls them inside the pockets of his jackets so that they are out of sight. he knows you're... slow sometimes and he had hoped, had prayed, that you wouldn't catch on this time too; that you're distracted enough with, well, everything else to see the way he can't even hold a glass without spilling his water.

but he forgets that when it comes to him, when it comes to "simmy," you become the smartest, aren't you, petal?

so the next thing simon knows, you're handing him a hook and a bundle of yarn before teaching him how to crochet. he remembers now how you've had that one phase when you were so obsessed with crocheting even though all you could do is make circles- a ring of single stitches that just keeps going until the edges began to rise until it ended up resembling a little pouch that could only house a pen. but it seems like it doesn't matter to you that you don't really know how to crochet, content with teaching simon the single stitch and chirping at him to keep the line going.

simon's hands continue to tremble, muted pain shooting from his wrists, but simon, for once, forgets. he forgets his blemishes and his scars; forgets that his hands could only ever be good for shooting and for killing and for hurting. he forgets that he is more than a weapon as you two crochet: him, quiet, and you, humming to yourself.

he forgets because you remind him that he is more than the man that he is. in your place, he is simmy. he isn't ghost with a mission. he is simmy with a princess who loves him more than he knows he's worth.

simon trembles, and this time it isn't because of his injured hands. this time, he trembles at the weight of his love for you.

his single crocheted line is wobbly and wrinkly and ugly, but simon watches on as you make a bracelet out of it, securing the ends with knots that simon knows won't hold. but that is alright, because simon will be there to retie your bracelet when you need him to. because simon won't leave you.

"i love you, sweets," simon murmurs, pressing his lips and his words on your forehead.

you giggle. "i love you too, simmy!"

see? with you around, he'll be alright.