#For some people this is gonna be the first time they've ever heard my last name

[one-idiot-one-braincell]

Man, new pokemon game coming out in 2025 is a legends game meaning some sort of time travel is involved, rather it be the past or the future, my queer ass is not ready for this my guy i already had to deal with volo in the past and in my canon i just jump from game to game, timeline to timeline, as if i never existed i just got settled down and felt safe enough to befriend a whole group of people in paldea, i felt safe enough to get in a relationship with two people (we poly up in this bitch) and now i'm having the dawning realization that it was all for nothing again because in my canon ARCEUS JUST REALLY LIKES ME AND THROWS ME INTO EVERY STORY HE CAN i can not catch a break i am not well. i hate being the favorite i just want to rest, i've been doing this since pokemon yellow i can't deal with this no more.

[tyttetardis]

Macbeth Q&A 18th Jan 2024 Part 1

Was lucky enough to get a ticket for the Member's Event at the Donmar Warehouse that took place on the 18th...with the price of the patronages I sure never thought I'd have gotten the chance, but luckily, they also let in some non-members 🥹❤️

The brilliant performance of Macbeth was followed by a very quick cleaning of the stage - thought for sure it would've taken them longer to remove the blood than like 5 minutes - followed by a lovely, little Q&A session.

The Q&A was led by Craig Gilbert (Literary manager) who talked to Annie Grace and Alasdair Macrae (Musicians and part of the acting ensemble) as well as Cush Jumbo and David Tennant.

Anyway, just gonna write down some of the stuff they talked about :) sorry if it's a bit messy! Might be spoilery if you haven't seen it yet but are going to!

To begin with Craig remarked that he didn't think he'd ever seen that many people staying behind for a Q&A before (While I was just wondering why some people even left!? Stressful!).

David introduced himself with "My real name is David "Thane of Paisely" Tennant - while Cush introduced herself with "I´m Cush Jumbo - there's only one of me".

First question was Craig asking them what it was that brought them to the Donmar to do Macbeth - to which David pretty much just replied that 1. It's the Donmar! 2. It's Macbeth! One of the greatest plays of all time in an amazingly intimate space - and that the theatre is famous for its quality of work. So he found it quite hard to think of a reason not to do it!

Cush said she'd worked there before and loves the theatre, how it's so intimate but also a great workspace. Followed by her saying she said yes because David asked her. She talked about how important it was for this play to do it together with the right actor playing opposite you.

David says Max Webster asked him about a year ago if he wanted to do the play - he gave him the dates - and since there weren't any obstacles in the way, David didn't have any excuse not to do it.

He then said that he had slightly avoided Macbeth - there sorta being the assumption that if you're Scottish and has done some Shakespeare plays before you have to do Macbeth. Which he joked was a bit odd since it's not like every Italian has to play Romeo. Then he mentioned that Macbeth is probably a bit more of a jock than he is - that it seemed more like a part for big, burly actors.

Max had laid out his initial ideas to David, a lot of which are in the final production, and David thought he seemed lovely, bright and clever and inventive plus it being the Donmar Warehouse! To which joked that he had last worked there 20 years ago - when he was 8 years old! "It's just one of those spaces" - friendly and epic at the same time where it's such a pleasure to be on the stage.

When Craig asked his next question concerning the sound of the play someone asked him to speak louder as she couldn't hear them - to which David joked that they've gotten so used to whispering. But also said sorry, and that they would!

Alasdair explained a bit about the process of the binaural sound - bit I find it a bit difficult to decipher it all correctly, sorry. He did say that a interesting part of it is that it allows them a controlled environment where they can put all the musicians (and even the bagpipes!) behind the soundproof box so "Poor David and Cush" doesn't have to shout over all the racket.

Craig asked David and Cush what their reaction was when they heard about the concept of the binaural soundscape - to which David replied that it didn't quite exist when they first came onboard - Cush joking they were tricked into it. Then she talked about her and David going on a workshop with Max to get a feeling of how it would all work - and get a sense of how it would sound to the audience, as this was one of the few times, they got to hear that side of it. Their experience of the play being completely different to the experience the audience has.

Cush said they can hear some of the sound - like she can hear some of the animal sounds and David can hear some of the stuff from the glass box - but most of their cues and information comes from timing with each other. She said they won't be able to ever hear what the audience hears - to which David joked "We're busy".

It felt like mixing medias - as it all went quite against their natural stagecraft instinct - but Cush found that in the long run it made things very interesting - like they don't have to worry about getting something whispered to each other - as the audience will hear it anyway.

David said the odd thing is that they don't really know what the experience truly is like. He mentioned that to the sides of the stage there's a speaker for them where they will get any cues that they need to hear. Like they can hear the witches - but they can't hear where they are "positioned" - so they have to learn how to place themselves to fit with what the audience hears. They don't hear everything, though. And the audio they hear is quite quiet, so it doesn't disturb what comes through the headphones.

He thinks it's been exciting - that it's a bit like a mix between film and theatre. It's happening live - but it's also like post-production is happening between them and the audience as it's going on. They just have to trust that the audience is hearing what they are supposed to for it all to make sense.

Cush said she thinks in 10 - 20 years, as these technologies has developed, doing theatre like this will feel a lot more normal - not that they will do it ALL the time, but that they will be doing it - whereas now it's still like an experiment. What Cush really like about the concept is that if was done in a much bigger theatre - then people in the cheapest seats would be able to have an experience much more similar to those in the most expensive seats - they'd be a lot more immersed into the action.

David then talks about how it feels extremely counterintuitive to not go on stage and speak loud enough that the people in the back row can also hear you. And usually, if they can't hear you, you aren't doing your job right! But then it felt very liberating. He loves it.

Cush then talked about how it felt odd waiting in the wings for a cue you can't hear - where you traditionally wait backstage and you can hear your cues, you can hear the rythm and know when it's your turn - so it was quite disconcerting to hear silence. So it's basically down to them now knowing the show and each other's timings - like if David is standing at a certain point, she knows how long she has before she needs to say/do something. So you have to watch each other more closely and really focus on what the others are doing.

David asked the musicians if they can hear everything inside the box, to which Annie replied that they get everything except some extra bits in the soundscape. But they can hear the actors on stage. Annie said it's actually a bit of a mystery to all of them what the audience actually experiences - how the big pictures actually look like - they just have to trust that it's there "Is it there?!".

Someone asked if they had had any adverse reactions from audiences to having to wear the headphones. Quite a bit of laughter all around :P then David said "There's the odd person" and something about if someone hadn't gotten the memo before turning up...but not sure how he ended the line. Then once again says that yes, there's the odd person who doesn't like it and that's fair enough.

The same audience member then said he could see the advantage of it in a big theatre where the distance is big, but not in a small place like the Donmar - to which David very quickly, rather passionately replied that it's not about projection, it's about being able to do things you wouldn't normally be able to do live - where they can speak so quietly that they can't even hear each other when standing next to each other. So even in such a small place, people wouldn't be able to hear that. It's about creating a different play - which isn't to everyone's taste and that's fair enough. But for a play that's been done a hundred and seven million times he thinks it's very valid to try and find a new way into the play - even if it's not for everyone.

Part 2

[userparamore]

I get that you don’t like Taylor but can you not see paramores growth as band because of the eras tour they seem so happy to be on that stage every night be grateful for that

first of all i don't really understand why you're coming for me over post that isn't even mine. second of all i'm allowed to be a fan of a band and be critical of them at the same time, and i've expressed my disappointment over this since the tour was announced. i'm not gonna beat a dead horse and bring up why i'm critical of this tour again in this answer, but the act of them being on this tour really says a lot about them for me in a negative way, and i think it's hypocritical of them after preaching about sustainability and equal rights for all.

paramore is also not some small indie band no one has heard of. they've been doing this for 20 years, they've sold out big venues, played madison square garden multiple times, they played their biggest show ever on the this is why aus&nz tour with 26,283 tickets sold in sydney. multiple of their biggest songs on spotify is close to a billion streams and they have 21 million monthly listeners. all this growth they've done, they've done on their own- sure it's nice that more people discover them, but they didn't need this tour to be successful. they already were.

also for me personally, this tour leaves a bad taste in my mouth. i come from a country where if i'm lucky they tour once every album cycle. i've been lucky to see them 2 times and the last time was in 2017. they played a festival so i didn't get to see a full set. they've been to my country four times total and 1 concert wasn't a festival. the eras tour didn't have a show in my country, and i wasn't about to fight swifties for tickets that are extremely expensive. in the end my friend ended up having a spare ticket to one of the vienna shows bc the person they were originally gonna go with ended up not being able to go, and i was asked if i wanted to go. me and this friend first became friends bc we both liked paramore, and they've never been able to see them live. travelling to vienna to have that experience together, i would sit through 3h of taylor swift for. i spent close to 2000 dollars on the whole trip including the ticket, for it to end up being cancelled. very happy we didn't die, but it still sucked to have spent all that money and the not be able to go. especially since this would've been my friend's first paramore live experience.

i'm happy they're having fun playing their greatest hits for 3 months. i'm happy for my mutuals who's been able to go and have had a good time. the money they earn will probably go to their new label, and hopefully we won't have to wait 5 years for new music. but don't tell me to be grateful.

i try my best to make this community a welcoming space. i try my best to contribute with gifs and edits, and post news when there are news. i've hosted countdown events, i've hosted/made zines, i've hosted gif challenges. i want to do all these things bc it's fun to be part of this community and i love the friends i've made here. but i can still do all those things, and not have to kiss paramore's ass. i can still express myself and speak on the things i don't agree with bc it's my blog. we've had "debates" in my inbox before, people have expressed their opinions on paramore before, and it's always respectful which i appreciate. we as a community can disagree on things and still be a community.

[professorspork]

⭐️the triple meet cutes pls >:)

well, here is where the downside of the way I outline -- i.e. putting it directly into the document and then just replacing it with the prose itself as I go -- shows its head, because I'm not sure I can stitch the timeline on this together as perfectly as I'd like. luckily I can for some of it because I narrate the vast majority of my life events to @alexkablob thanks for being my searchable diary pal

lol gonna cut this too bc I AM VERBOSE

the true meet cute was always going to happen at a bar. "My friends are being jerks right now, can I sit with you?" is a line that was actually used on me (collectively, addressed to my friend group) at a bar, and it remains one of the BEST lines I've ever heard (love that poor little meow meow rizz), and it was always going to belong to Yang. I knew they'd begin there, and they'd end at "So you don't date. Do you make friends? I've been told I give great friend."

the question then became: how the fuck was I going to get Blake to go to a bar when I knew she's sober and a total hermit?

I considered her going to see a band she likes play, but didn't love that because it would put Yang in the rude position of interrupting something important that she was there to enjoy. I considered it being an open mic night, maybe something where they had an overlapping friend in common and didn't know it, but again-- that directs the scene, and suddenly it's about their mutual buddy rather than them and their chemistry. I considered several different settings (coffee shop? the park?) instead of a bar, to try and make it read smoother, but bar just Felt Right. as someone who's gone to bars to watch baseball when I didn't have access to cable, that cropped up as an idea, and then it was just a question of coming up with a sporting event Blake would possibly have interest in, and ice skating seemed feasible enough. back when I lived in the East Village, I had a corner bar I'd go to down the block from my place that had amazing fried pickles and I'd often do my homework there before it got busy, so that's where that came from.

the "last ferry out to Menagerie" paragraph, in which Blake recontextualizes and basks in her attraction to Yang after learning she's trans, is hands down the single excerpt I worked hardest on. the first step, as I was drafting it early last august, was coming up with the right metaphor in the first place. I wanted something which would help me avoid it reading like a "well you can always tell with those transes" cringefest

me: so now the thing i'm chewing on is-- is what we talked about before, which is figuring out how to write about blake being attracted to the parts of yang's appearance that are sort of self-evidently trans without it accidentally becoming a weird bioessentialist screed me: the best metaphor i've come up with so far is glasses, like-- like putting on your glasses after cleaning them when they've been smudgy for a week, and you suddenly have this wonderful appreciation for crisp little beautiful details me: but blake does not wear glasses and i'm not enough of a hack to give her glasses JUST FOR THIS (i did consider it) so now i'm trying to think of other ways to talk about that, like-- moment of dawning clarity

(sorry I did not give blake glasses. similarly, this past march while writing the big sex scene in chapter 9 I was like "well yes i'm 123k into this but what if I went through and edited everything to give Blake a nose ring wouldn't that be hot" and alexis talked me out of it so blame her.)

once I came up with the "last ferry" concept ("me, rollerblading down Main Street, AO3: HAVE YOU MARVELED AT THE CELESTIAL BEAUTY OF TRANS PEOPLE TODAY") I worked on those two sentences for over an hour. i am particular about my language and cadence always, but even for me this is uh absurdly excessive. WORTH IT THO, because it's the most important passage in the whole fic. i deleted and rephrased it probably a hundred times, trying to get the right flow, the right lyricism, and crucially not say "stars" 8 different times.

Blake's deep dark secret being that she's a country fan has been baked into this fic's essence from the very beginning; the title, "something wild and unruly," is from a Dixie Chicks song for this reason. IT WILL CONTINUE TO BE RELEVANT, and I had to get it in early.

as I've told several people, the "deck building game" joke also comes directly from my life. Helen and I went to New Jersey last June to do wedding errands -- tastings, fittings, engagement photo shoot -- and while we were there we visited a very cute bar in my hometown as a potential night-before-wedding hangout space. she casually mentioned that her sibling was texting her about... oh gosh, I can't remember the name of it, but I went "what's that?" and she said "a deck-building game" and because I was home, and thus around my mother and how she has HGTV on all the time, instead of oh, like Dominion I went "like a porch?" and then she laughed and laughed and I said "well that's definitely going in the fic."

luckily my wife is used to that, because I stole from our lives a great deal. she first started having car battery trouble in January of 2023, and then we opened up the hood and found scary corrosion and my dad talked me through how to clean that out the way Neptune does. from then on it was sort of floating in the back of my mind that this could be something I used in the story-- Blake's car is 100% based on Helen's car, which she bought at a police auction and clearly had a Rough Backstory-- but it was three weeks later that we finally got tired of jumping it all the time and called AAA. the guy really DID come like 2 minutes after I put the request in on the app, so shockingly Yang's fast turnaround time is actually based on life. and about ten minutes after that happened I declared:

me: no real-life anecdote is ever wasted and this is DEFINITELY happening to blake after she and yang have their meet-cute and it's yang who shows up and has to be like WELL HOW ABOUT THAT SERENDIPITY :D

about three months later I then had my OWN battery troubles, and that's when I went out of my way to ask the tech who came about a million questions about what the multimeter read and how cold crank amp tests worked. I pretty much wrote our conversation verbatim into a note on my phone, which became what Yang said. (the fellow who came then also had a very sharp and snazzy work shirt, and that's when I thought about how cute the little Yang on her breast pocket would be)

only it would be--

Yang

:) okay anyway

I don't know what it is about competent service professionals that make me go "you're Yang Xiao Long actually" but I've done it twice now, with my wedding DJ and with the AAA people

I went back and forth on whether the library meet-cute would come before or after the car scene, but in its earliest incarnation the idea was just that Yang would come up to the circ desk to check something out and oops Blake's standing there. at one point I even considered having Yang ask her out to lunch. once I realized it behooved me to have Yang and Pyrrha already be friends, so Pyrrha could vouch for her, I knew it had to come at the end to tie everything in a bow.

[stiveroon]

This is my first ever real fic, so spare me if there's spelling mistakes and all that sort of stuff X)

This is like dad Daryl-ish, where he meets a little girl and soon enough becomes her "father", or that's what it feels like.

Warning: nothing rlly

————————————————————————

"Rachel!" You heard your mother whisper to you, pulling you into a closet.

"What are you doing mama?" Rachel asked, looking up at her mother who's pushing herself into the closet aswell.

"We're going to play a game of silence, yeah? Who stays silent the longest wins, ready?" She whispered into her ear, holding her close. Rachel nodded, keeping her mouth shut, not knowing what was going on.

Soon they both heard people breaking into the store they've been hiding in, and due to the sudden noise, Rachel starts to tug her mother's shirt.

"Mama?" She whispered, but quickly shut up when her mother puts her hand over her mouth.

And soon, the closet door flew open, her mother taken out and Rachel being left alone, in a cold, dark closet. All she heard for the last few minutes were her mother's prayers, praying them to not hurt her baby girl, to leave her alive.

————————————————————————

A few days later Rick, Daryl and Glenn went on a run for food, water, whatever is and will be useful.

Rachel was still in that same closet, hungry, cold and absolutely terrified. But then she heard people come close. So she decided to carefully step out of it.

At the sudden noise, Daryl, who is grabbing some canned meat, turns his head around. Only to see a little girl whose no older than 7.

"What're ya doing here?" He asked, frowning at the little girl.

Which Rachel didn't reply to, only staring at him before taking a step back. She shook her head, too afraid to talk.

"C'mere kid, I ain't gonna hurt you." He mumbled, holding his hand out.

"No talking to strangers." Said Rachel, knowing that her mother taught her to never talk to people she doesn't know.

"You saw me, I saw you. We ain't strangers no more." He said in a slightly annoyed tone, slinging the bag over his shoulder.

"We got a save place, food, water, shelter..." He added, walking towards the little girl.

"C'mon. Just come. We're gonna get food for ya." He said as I held his hand out once again and Rachel took his hand into hers this time.

————————————————————————

Daryl, Glenn, Rick and Rachel all came back to Alexanderia, where others were surprise that a little girl came by.

Everyone accepted Rachel though, and Daryl took her in. Mainly because Rachel trusts him, and wouldn't let go off his side, like a damn koala.

But he'll gladly accept it, if she's happy he's happy, if she thinks of him as her father then she's his daughter.

"Kid. I gotta go." I mumbled, trying to get her to listen.

"No! Dont go!" She whined, holding onto his hand.

"I'll be back soon. Might get ya a toy or sum'." He sighed, pushing her hand away before walking off, leaving Rachel alone.

She doesn't like being alone, not after her mother died, but she's willing to accept it since she might get a new toy.

————————————————————————

Hours later Daryl came back, putting his crossbow on the coffee table before taking a deep breath.

"Rachel! Come 'ere!" He called out, which Rachel heard and ran towards her father.

"Yeah?" She said with a smile, hoping she got a new toy.

"Got you somethin', you like cats right?" He asked, which Rachel nodded excitedly to.

"Here ya go." He said as he gave her a cat plushie.

Rachel quickly took it from him, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Thank you! Thank you daddy!" She smiled wider, hugging the plushie to her chest.

She hugged Daryl soon after, which Daryl first reacted a bit uncomfortable with but soon enough hugged her back.

"Glad you're happy with it." He whispered, smiling softly as he saw his daughter with a bright smile on her face.

[allsadnshit]

I had a terrible nightmare last night that my bosses were my old art teachers in school and when I realized that I knew it was going to be unfair to have teachers so biased against me and all I wanted to do was draw and none of the other students would stick up for me or believe me that I was being treated badly in fact they were mocking my frustration and saying how easy the class was so I went to the supervisor to tell them I just needed to be excused from that class and could take any other one in its place and she started pulling receipts saying id done this too many times before and it was a boy who cried wolf situation that had absolutely no substance anymore and I was clearly the one making the problems and wouldn't be believed by anyone given my history of always getting bad blood with people

I kept begging everyone to see that I wasn't asking for anyone else's punishment and I wasn't trying to get people to be angry about what I was angry about I just wanted to be able to leave a situation that is unhealthy for me but they kept laughing in my face and saying I had no where to go

I woke up feeling so so sick. Everything with my job in real life feels it's escalated even though I've tried to handle things as well as I could and went to therapy before making any decisions to make sure what I wanted to do was aligned with sincerity and myself and when I tried to call my co workers to tell them i was demoted and to not keep working on the specialty drink ideas I had given the shop before finding out I wouldn't be paid on them they had me on speakerphone and my boss heard me saying I was demoted and they quickly hung up to avoid conflict and when I called them back I told them sorry yeah it's awkward but it's not a secret and I am not hiding something this is just actually the situation and that hanging up and bolting probably looks more suspicious than just telling them.

Then last night after I told my bosses I want my Sunday shift covered (cause I need more time to think about things and how I want to handle them and going in and working with them right now is not okay for me) the husband responded in a separate text which was weird and just said sure but that we should all talk if I need to do things don't fester if I have something I need to say. And I do, and I will but I need time to because half the problem is that they sprung the whole conversation and demotion on me without any warning like didn't even tell me we would be talking about it that day so I was so unprepared and it was really unfair to me. I muted the business and the other bosses instagrams i follow from seeing my story cause I want some privacy from them whether I'm having good days or bad days I just don't want them having access to me right now with everything going on and so they started lurking on my story from a secret account I didn't know the husband even had and I only caught it because he watched a story of mine for the first time and so quickly after I posted it that his name wasn't just lost in the views and I saw it. It was so off putting and like clearly they've never done that before so it wasn't normal and felt so invasive since they clearly realized I had blocked their other accounts from my story...

I'm going to probably have to be unemployed for MONTHS when I quit and I'm not trying to spite anyone I am trying to have some self respect and uphold the boundaries I have with myself about what treatment I will allow and what energy I'm willing to give to businesses that profit off it but don't appreciate it.

I've never ever ever quit something like this before but I know it just won't sit right with me to stay just for the sake of the money and peace it's just going to become worse and I need to walk away but I feel like none of my peers are gonna have my back.

[randomvarious]

Now listening:

Quadrastate by 808 State (1989)

Here's a pretty neat quote that 808 State's Martin Price gave to journalist Simon Trask for a profile of his group in the November 1989 issue of Music Technology:

Quadrastate is our version of techno", Price says. "[Derrick] May, [Kevin] Saunderson, [Juan] Atkins, they're my heroes. Detroit is the place that I want to go to. I can still remember the first time I heard Model 500's 'No UFOs' played at a club - I knocked a table over in my hurry to get to the DJ and find out what the record was.

And here we go, folks. This is the one that really kicked things into gear for legendary electronic Manchester lads 808 State. Introducing Quadrastate, the third release in their discography, which is a mini-album/EP from 1989 that features the original version of "Pacific State," the classic Balearic deep house anthem that would enable the group to successfully crack on a commercial level, with BBC Radio 1 DJ Gary Davies giving it plenty of spin.

Prior to the release of Quadrastate, 808 State had made two other releases: their brilliantly gnarly 1988 debut acid house LP, Newbuild, which is probably the least commercially-appealing thing that they've ever made, and a follow-up three-song 12-inch called "Let Yourself Go"/"Deepville." Neither of these managed to chart anywhere, but as critic Paul Cooper once put it in his write-up of Newbuild for Pitchfork, this album was like acid house's Velvet Underground & Nico—not many people heard it when it first came out, but for those who did, like Aphex Twin, who would later re-release it on his own Rephlex label, it definitely left a lasting impact.

And this release, contrary to the prior two, charted; not in an *official* capacity, but on UK publication Music Week's 'Dance Albums' chart. For the week of September 9, 1989, Quadrastate had made it to #10, and by the week of November 4, 1989, it had managed to climb all the way up to #1 😎.

This record also marked the end of one chapter and the start of another for the group as well. Gerald Simpson, aka A Guy Called Gerald, who had been in 808 State since its inception, had worked on "Pacific State" before departing (more about that in a future post), and in his place came a pair of much younger guys, Andy Barker and Darren Partington, whose hipper and more modern ideas would mesh well with the experimental and jazz-funk sensibilities of the older duo of Graham Massey and Martin Price.

Old meeting new.

(Source: "The State of Technology," Music Technology, November 1989)

And lastly, Quadrastate was the final 808 State release to be issued by Martin Price's own label, Creed Records. Following this, the 808 State name would grow to become much larger. ZTT, the label that had been co-founded by The Art of Noise's Trevor Horn—who himself is credited as "the man who invented the eighties"—would sign them, and not long after that, 808 State would score a Stateside deal with legendary hip hop label Tommy Boy Records as well.

So, just like their first two releases, which were also issued on Creed, this one isn't on Spotify, either, but here it is in a single YouTube video:

And it looks like most of the rest of their discography following this release *is* on Spotify 👍🙏.

Gonna tackle the "Pacific State" 12-inch after this!

And for those just joining, here's some stuff about 808 State's first two releases:

Newbuild "Let Yourself Go"/"Deepville"

[i-think-were-alone-n0w]

if i see ONE MORE PERSON say that season 4 five was "mischaracterised" or "written poorly" im gonna seriously say some (not) nice words.

So, here's a break down of five and lila's arc importance to his character, and to the show

note: this is not biased, and not centered on the ship. this is purely an analisys on his behaviour and it's not held togheter by the fact i ship them. in fact, i was the biggest diego and lila shipper, with diego being my favourite character.

to begin with, as we know, five has only ever "loved" a goddamned mannequin before.

throughout the entirety of the show, how many times have we seen this man be happy? how many times have we seen him genuinely smile?

it felt like for the first time in a good while, we saw five happy. we saw a smile on his face like never before. the look in his eyes when talking to lila, especially in this exact scene;

here we can see how in love he looks, he looks like lila put the stars in the sky just for him, he looks as if they were the last humans alive.

at last, five's ideal timeline was growing old with lila, even if it meant abandoning his entire family and leaving the two of them alone.

now, can you imagine his emotions when lila was upset and wanted to go back? can you imagine his heart shatter when he heard her saying it all meant nothing to her?

because to him, it meant everything. she was his everything now. after seven long years, he was ready to give it all up. here we see five opening up in a way, (for probably the first time in the show), where he's soft, he's emotional, and he has so much love to give. he would make her a hand-made bracelet. he would hunt for their food. he would sit there alone and water those stupid strawberries all day, if it meant being by her side and loving each other. and at last, he would tell her the truth, risking his ideal life he's achieved, but hoping that she felt the same.

but she didn't.

no, i will not deny any of diego's pain. he's been through so much and he did NOT deserve any of what happened to him. lila managed to hurt both of these men and managed to make it a mess. i dont entirely blame her, but you get me. at the same time, yes, i will pity five. he's been through so much, and at his final moments, he managed to get stuck and fall in love with someone he can't have. no matter how hard he loved her, theres was something to stop it.

in this arc, its important we see through and to five. its important we see once again how much he values love. after all, all he does fir his family, is from love. do you people remember how much he valued delores in the first season? he was protecting that mannequin with his life. here we can see how a man's desperation can push him to things, sure. but some of you don't see how he was genuinely in love here!

i love them ALL so much, and they will forever hold a special place in my heart. if you're still not convinced five was in love with lila, here's some further evidence:

- of course, the bonding moments they've has during those years, that we've already seen or never got to

- the look in his eyes whenever they talked

-"okay, love." after he gave her the bracelet;

-at the end, when he held her in the subway. that look, that hold. it held so much love. the soft and reassuring action here, as well as the "i know." in response to lila's "i hate you for this"

- the way that, even when her and diego were arguing, and she already told him she has to go back, five was still looking at her with hope and anticipation. hoping she could still love him.

-the way she's the only one he's ever opened up to. he's been in that apocalypse for far longer, and when he came back, he didnt open up to any of his family that he trusted. but to lila, he did. he would.

i could probably add more, and i'll make more if needed. what's real is that five and lila have always had great chemistry, and i didn't hate them as much as everyone says. in fact, i kind of ship them. however, this is heavily influenced by the fact i just want five to be happy, but it seems he's fell in love with the wrong person. well. not like it matters now. they're all gone. happy tua ending, fuck me

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND- Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 4 Ep 21 & 22

Here's another pair of episodes that have been requested together a few times, now, so I'd love to answer the call!

SPOILER ALERT: If you hate spoilers, you'll hate this. Run away. Turn around. Scroll on by. If you do choose to enter in, I'm going to write this as though I were seeing the episodes for the first time, but I will be spoiling both these episodes and reference episodes leading up to it.

If you're ready to read, I'm ready to share. Let's dive in!

Mother's Day

"Mm, yeah, that's a hard pass. Look, I'm boycotting Mother's Day, but even if I wasn't, I really don't think this is the right time to meet your parents."

Lucy Chen putting up her walls and keeping the men she dates at arms' length is completely on-brand. We haven't even heard her call a guy she was seeing "boyfriend" to date on this show.

And with everything going on with her mother and her utter lack of support for her daughter, I don't blame her for not making a big deal out of Mother's Day.

Also, Chris, honey. It will never be the right time for Lucy to meet your parents because y'all ain't gonna last. Lucy is meant to be with Tim. You saw it, once, at the world's worst double date, but you've chosen to ignore it. So, you're a moron.

"I figured you'd say that. But they've been hounding me about meeting you for weeks."

Run, Lucy. Run. Because his parents sound as clingy as he is, and you do not need that drama in your life.

Your instinct is right not to want to meet his parents... maybe you don't need to continue knowing Chris, either. Just sayin'.

"Are you really freezing your mom out?" "I mean, I bought her flowers. I'm not an anarchist." "I'm thinking we just lock in the Hyatt. They have a lazy river, what else do you need?"

Oh, look. Tim and his Blonde Bitch and Lucy and her Dead Weight Puffin have run into each other in the station.

Last time the four of them were together, it looked like Chris and Ashley were mighty jealous of Tim and Lucy's connection. I mean, if I were sitting at a semi-romantic dinner next to the love of my life, I'd be distracted, too!

"You think I'd be sick of beaches, at this point, but it's gonna be awesome."

Watch how Lucy looks at her man (and I don't have to clarify which man in the scene, because y'all know how this goes).

She's looking at Tim like he's got a second head. Because there's no way this man is going to be happy going to the beach. He doesn't. like. SAND!!

"I gotta get to work." "Me, too. I'll walk out with you."

Good. You two can take a long walk together, realize you're perfect for one another, and leave Tim and Lucy the hell alone. Everybody wins! (especially us)

"Call me if you change your mind." "I'm not going to."

Love how he touches Lucy and she physically pushes him away. Like, back off, dude. When Lucy's mind is made up, it's made up.

"Change your mind about what?" "He wants me to meet his parents. So, uh, whose idea was Hawaii?" "Mine, I guess, why?" "

Nyla's arrival interrupts the thoughts, but we all know why. Tim Bradford is Tim Bradford-ing, again, and giving too much in a relationship. He hates sand! And he's suggesting they vacation... on an island.

But there's something else needling at her about this vacation...

"Are you proposing to Ashley?"

Look. At. Her. Face. Her face right before she asks. She's building up the courage to ask him this, because big Hawaii vacation is more than he ever did with Rachel, and it screams romance, right?

"What!?"

Cackling laughing at this. This is the furthest thing from his mind, right now. Yes, he's dating this... person... and they're doing dating people things. But, he's not even thinking about marrying her.

"Of course not. We've only been dating a few months."

This suggests that Tim Bradford likes to take things slow, and isn't in a rush when dating someone. But, the "of course not" shows that he thinks it should be obvious to Lucy.

"You might not be aware of some of the signals that you're sending." "What kind of signals?" "The kind that makes her get a manicure because she's assuming she'll be sending pictures of her hand to all her friends."

Tim looks terrified. Look, we all know Ashley is a placeholder girlfriend until Tim and Lucy get their act together. But he doesn't know that.

Tim is visibly shaken. His hand is unsteady on the wheel, he's looking back at Lucy repeatedly while stumbling through answering the call. Because he really never contemplating marrying this woman. Something in him knows she isn't the one.

*hint* The gorgeous, badass gal beside you with the sunshine-y personality and compassionate heart is right there. Might wanna ask her something sometime, eh?

"My abuela taught me the perfect curse to put on him."

I have to put this line in here for context. Yes, Angela is talking about Nyla's ex. But we now know that if you need a curse, Angela's your gal.

"When did hotels get this expensive?" "Oh, that's pretty good." "Seriously?" "Yeah, I mean, it's a nice hotel."

First off, Lucy is doing all the planning for any trips they take once they get their act together. Second, this kinda hurts. It drives home how long it's been since Tim's taken a romantic vacation.

We know that Tim remained faithful to Isabelle while she was missing. We know that they were together for a long time. But when did they stop going on vacation together? How long has it been?

Tim, you deserve to go on more romantic vacations... but not with Baywatch Reject, okay?

"Oh, you're going to Hawaii. Congratulations on your engagement." "Ah, told you." "I'm not getting engaged!" "Does your girlfriend know that?" "Yes. It's not an issue."

Annnnddd... another voice echoing the romantic vibe of Hawaii that lends to the expectation of engagement. I was rolling!

"Looks like you won't be the only one getting married." "What?" "Nothing. Ignore her."

I love the look that Angela and Lucy exchange, here. Much as there have to be bets rolling around about Chenford, I'm sure there are other bets, gossip, and secrets in that station.

Angela knows Tim better than most, but even she knows that Lucy could be onto something she's not. When this all started, Tim and Lucy had to hear about each other through the rest of the Station.

Now, they've got one another on speed dial and are the first to know what's going on with the other. So... maybe Tim is proposing.

"Ashley can't possibly think I'm proposing." "Why not? I mean, you're of a certain age-"

Tim's face on that had me rolling. We can estimate he's about 10-12 years older than Lucy. And that reaction was priceless.

"She is in her prime. I mean, on paper, it's, it's like a no-brainer. Okay, be honest. Can you see yourself married to her?"

He can't. We can see in his face right there that he really can't. And as the wheels are turning, something pops into his mind that sets him on edge. He glances over at Lucy and he nearly gulps.

Now, I can't tell you what he saw. I'm a Meta writer, not the show Writer or the actor. I can postulate all I like, but I don't know the answer here. But my guess? If he thinks of the future and being married again... he sees Lucy.

Because the person for him isn't the person he's dating. I truly believe he started this relationship with Ashley as a way to distance himself from his growing feelings for Lucy. He's burying them deep down, the same way he did his trauma with his father. And like his father, it's going to take an external force to bring it all to a head.

Lucy is trying to get Tim to talk this out, the way that she talks things out. But we can feel the edge to everything, here. She's not yet fully aware of what she feels, but it's there.

It's dripping in her hesitancy at first asking him if he's proposing, in her nervousness at his response to this question. Because if he's that serious about Ashley, there will never be room for them.

And as Lucy waits for her answer, Tim realizes he can't say the truth. So, he lies.

"Yeah. I can."

The cameras purposefully focus on Lucy, here. On her disappointment. On her sadness. Because, she's not ready to admit it, but she's falling for Tim.

Yes, she is with Chris for the same reason Tim is with Ashley. They both think the other isn’t an option (though for different reasons, at this point). They're both deflecting because they can't get hung up on something that'll never happen.

It's admirable, in a way. They're trying to be happy for the other person while hoping they'll pretend themselves into believing they're happy, too.

"I'm not expecting a proposal. I would say no if you asked."

Proving that everyone got into Tim's head, he addresses the issue with Ashley directly. But I don't think he expected this. Tim isn't ready to face his feelings for Lucy, but having this door shut is unexpected.

"I have no interest in every being married or having kids. I'm just not wired that way."

First of all, there is nothing wrong with being this way. Nothing at all. Some of my closest friends never wanted to be married or have kids, and as we near 40, they've stuck to that and are quite happy.

But there is something wrong with Tim being with someone like that. Because he wants the wife and kids.

Tim didn't have the stability of a safe and loving home, and he wants so badly to break the cycle and pass on a different legacy to his own kids.

Tim spots Lucy watching from the window, and he decides to turn the situation on his head. He's been stressed the eff out all day worrying about this. Now that he knows Ashley has zero interest in marriage, he has to have some fun.

Lucy's Heart Breaks

I don't think she knows until this moment just how deep it is, how she feels about Tim. She's known for a while that something was there—something that could never be.

But watching through the glass as he gets engaged to someone else... it hits so hard she can't ignore it. She can't pretend it away. She can't bounce back.

I've seen people say this is the moment for her—the moment she realizes she's falling for Tim. I go back and forth on it. Because she's known for a long time that she has a thing for Tim.

We saw back in 4x01 that she was totally ready to sleep with him. And while Lucy's confident in her sexuality, she doesn't sleep with just anyone. We know she doesn't do one night stands. She has her standards and sticks to them.

Even earlier in this episode, she can't be completely oblivious to how she feels when he says he can see himself marrying Ashley. No, I'd argue that Lucy has known since 4x01 that there was something there.

Is this a point of no return for her in terms of pretending? Yeah, I can go with that. Because in this moment, she can't shake it loose, and she can't move on. Tim is engaged and she's heartbroken, and they were never even really a thing, right?

So, is this the moment she realizes she has feelings for him? No. I think 4x01 sealed that up because she knew she was willing to sleep with him that night. But, is this the point of no return in terms of pretending not to have said feelings? Yeah, I can roll with that.

Chris approaches, and she keeps looking back at the parking lot, because that's where her mind is stuck.

"It's a good thing you didn't come because my mom, she drove me crazy."

Lucy offers a half-laugh. But she's visibly upset. She's so distracted that even Chris, Mr-Hums-THE-Song-And-Can't-Read-A-Room picks up on it.

"What's wrong?" "Nothing. I-"

Her phone goes off to the "GOT YOU!" message and now she's pissed. Because she's now had to deal with a slew of emotions striking her all at once, only to find out it was a joke.

"Could you just wait here. I need to go find Lopez and figure out how to put a curse on someone." "Yeah, right. Oh, you're serious."

"Serious as a heart attack", as they say. Tim screwed with her emotions, and she's pissed.

Day in the Hole

AKA "Finding Your New Favorite Flavor"

"Come on. We gotta get to work." "She'll be here." "Seriously, we gotta go." "She'll be here."

Mom and Dad waiting for their daughter to show up. Come on, you see it, too! Tim's back from his vacation with the Land of Sand, and we've thankfully left Lucy's jump-scare behind us.

Hopefully the curse doesn't work too well because Lucy might want things to not fall off in the future, if you know what I mean.

Lucy is applauding like a proud mother as Tamara nearly kills a couple people. Tim's glaring like a slightly-annoyed father. I love this family.

"My car was your first car." "I mean, if we're including cars I've stolen, this is probably like my fifth." "What?" "Joke!"

Yeah, you can't joke like that around your step-dad. Tim's a bit of a hard-ass, if you hadn't noticed.

"You are gonna take it to the mechanic though, right? You never know what these cars have been through." "Yeah, Tim set me up with his guy." "What, you did?" "Yeah." "Oh, you have a heart after all."

Mom and Dad... you're flirting in front of the kid. Like, Tamara's not the kind to go "ew", but, still. You might want to chill out considering you're still dating other people.

"Relax, ok? It was purely self-interest. You would be a total drag to ride with if she died in a fireball of mangled metal on the 405."

Did you hear how Lucy gave him that motherly "tsk" in the middle of this!? I've heard it a few times since in Season 5, but this is the first time I can remember it really standing out to me in previous seasons.

"Joke!"

Not your best first attempt at a dad joke, Timothy, but since it's you, we'll let it stand.

"Previous owner of your car is Jake Butler."

Can I say I love how Tamara kept picking things up off the desk (like a kid) and Lucy played the mother role by wordlessly taking each thing away all while continuing her work? Lucy is such a natural mom!

"Let's take a look at his mugshot... But." "What? What the what?!"

This next shot is GENIUS. I have no idea who came up with this (writer/director, etc), but it's genius. We go from the two shot of them looking at the monitor to a shot of Tim approaching.

He sees something that stops him in his tracks... and then we get to see it, too.

Half the station's gathered around Lucy's monitor. And each actor is giving an amazing performance, here. I've paused and played a million times to appreciate each one. Do it. You won't be sorry.

"What's going on?"

Cue everyone looking at Tim. Except Lucy. She's about a beat behind everyone else, which draws my eye to her, every time. And the music bumps up to give us an auditory transition.

"It's even more uncanny in real life."

Through a combination of swift transitions, body doubles, and Eric Winter being in two different positions, we get the treat of meeting... Jake Butler. Tim's doppleganger.

Come on, how much fun must this have been for Eric Winter to get to play this kind of character after playing Tim for so long? And my husband especially appreciated Jake's pot belly.

Yes, while he hasn't seen this show, Matthew is fairly well-versed in Chenford and my appreciation for Melissa O'Neil and Eric Winter as performers.

We get a bit of split screen at the end (throwing me back to my Parent Trap obsession as a kid... yes the one with Haley Mills. I'm old). And I'm frankly excited at all the different techniques in use for this episode when one actor has to be two characters simultaneously.

"He really doesn't look that much like me." "The hell he doesn't." "Not the brightest bulb, though." "Oh. Oh my god. It's Tim and Dim."

The ladies get a chuckle out of that, but Tim's nonplussed.

"Yo. This is blowing my mind. It's like we're looking in a fun-house mirror of handsome." "Sit down Dim... Jake."

I died laughing the first time I saw this. Lucy really got into his head on that one. But, knowing how easily Lucy can get into his head these days, it's no surprise.

"Have we met before?" "No. That I'd remember." "Oh, you would."

Even Tim's doppleganger is flirting with his girl! Yes, I've seen the episode and know that Dim should know why Lucy looks familiar. But it's funnier this way and just plays into what a dumbass Dim is.

"You just wanna see me pretend to be Dim." "Duh." "Fine. I'll do it." "Yes! Okay, okay."

Lucy is so excited she puts both hands on Tim to stop him in his tracks as he's walking.

"So, uh, we gotta dirty you up. And then we have to slick back your hair, because, you know, that guy was, like, kinda greasy." "You are enjoying this way too much." "Oh, and tattoos! We gotta get tattoos."

Lucy, Tim Bradford isn't your Ken doll. As much as we all know you'd like to practice dressing (okay... undressing) him.

"Rescue 1 status?" "Rescue 1. We're ready in 60 seconds."

How much do I love that Lucy is heading the team to protect her man? There's no way she's going to let anyone hurt Tim, but it also gives us the chance to see some worried Lucy.

Tim's been worried about Lucy going undercover so many times, but we've not really seen her worried before. The hit man UC before was fairly safe. He wasn't in any real danger.

This is different. This is a criminal on his turf with a long drop and plenty of armed guns standing by. Lucy's worried for her man.

"Get ready to breach." "If anyone lays a hand on our UC, you put them down."

Let's be real. Lucy and Angela are two of the most important people in Tim's life at work and outside of it. And here they are getting to be his guardian angels—his wife and his best friend. I love it.

"So, I had Dim's girlfriend picked up." "Okay. Why are you being weird?" "It's easier to show you."

We need Sava to know who is going to go undercover with Tim, right? As if things weren't weird enough with Tim's doppleganger, now we've got Lucy's.

Tim is inside and already waiting for her reaction. Now he gets some payback for how much she was ragging on him and his doppleganger. Tim's smiling like an idiot.

"Guess we know who's going undercover with Dim." "Yeah, Juicy." "No." "That's Juicy." "I don't like that."

Our babies get to go undercover as a couple! They spend so much bloody time trying to run from how they feel, and now they've gotta cozy up to one another and play boyfriend/girlfriend? Sign me up! I'm so ready to see this.

We know both of them are capable in the field, though Lucy's a little more natural on the fly. But getting to see them together's gonna be fire, right?

"If we're gonna make this work, our backstory's gotta be airtight."

Oh, Lucy, honey. I didn't mean actual fire. You've lit enough candles to send a beacon to all of LA more powerful than the Bat Signal.

Lucy brings Tim a beer. And while they've shared drinks before and he's been in her apartment before, I find this particular combination so very domestic. They're brainstorming on the couch instead of at the counter, and I think all of this ambiance shows how relaxed they are around one another.

But also that Lucy's a tiny bit horny. Look, we know she's in a committed relationship with Curried Goat Boy, but subconsciously Lucy has lit a hundred candles because she wants Tim Bradford.

Now, Lucy's not a cheating person. We know this (and I go into more depth in 5x01 Meta and beyond). But, some part of her is subconsciously excited to have Tim in her home and wants the ambiance to be just right.

"Agreed. So, um, how did Dim and Juicy meet." "At a barbecue." "That's lame."

Also, are there barbecues out in LA? Like, real barbecues where you smoke meat for hours at a time? Or is Tim talking about a cook out? They really are two different things... I'm from the South, so we're kinda weird about that.

Plus, when Tim first said it, I said, "Lame." So, I take a small bit of pride in being on the same page with Lucy on this one!

"Really? You think you can do better." "Watch me! Okay, so, um, you were on the run from the cops. A bank robbery gone wrong. You ended up in my building, frantic, looking for a place to hide. And I opened the door for you. I lied to the cops for you. And, ooh, and it got me so hot that we hooked up while they were still searching the building."

Tim's mouth has fallen so far open that we're halfway to his O face.

He's imagining every bit of that. Because, after all, he remembers better when he listens, right? And Lucy just took him through one heck of a journey that will be burned into his brain for a long time.

He's imagining every bit of it... especially that last part.

It takes a second for him to recover.

"Okay. That's, that's, that's pretty good, actually." "Thank you." "Mmhmm." *giggle*

His brain's moving, now, and he's overthinking. Because, what bad guy will ever say, "Kiss your girlfriend or I'll pop a cap in your ass!"?

Also, I love Lucy's giggle. There's an episode in Season 5 where I discuss it extensively, but I love how it makes an appearance, here, considering where this scene is headed.

"So, look, we, we should, we should probably, you know, talk about the elephant in the room." "Hmm?" "You know, if we're gonna sell that we are, you know, actually boyfriend and girlfriend, then we might have to, uh, you know?"

And Lucy does know. But she's having a lot of fun fucking around with Tim. Come on, the girl is so repressed in her feelings for him that she's never gotten to really poke at him this way. And she is loving it.

"Have to, have to what?" "We might have to, to." "Okay, okay. We might have to PDA?" "You know what, forget it." "No, no! Okay, you're right."

Lucy nearly touches Tim's hand before he moves it. They're still very careful about being physical with one another, partly because of the boundaries of their job, but also the personal boundaries they've set with one another.

Remember what I said in 4x01 about proximity making it harder to deny what they feel. They're sitting as far away from each other on the couch as they can, as it is.

"Yeah, you're right. I mean, if we're gonna, if we're gonna have to kiss it probably shouldn't be for the first time." "That's what I'm saying." "Right, yeah."

Because the baddies need to see you kissing, right? Like, isn't that what everyone does when they're engaged in criminal activity? Stop to make out?

Maybe James Bond does, sure, but actual baddies?

Whatever. I wanna see them kiss as much as the rest of you. So, let's see if they can get through the initial awkwardness to get the job done.

"Should we maybe, uh, should we stand?"

It cracks me up that this is so awkward for them. Just a few months earlier (show time) these two were considering the horizontal mambo in his bed, and now they can't even figure out how to get through one kiss.

When Tim makes the kissy face and she runs away, it cracks me up so much. I mean, nobody really kisses like that, first of all, and I'd probably die laughing, too.

Fishy face Tim is not his best look.

"We're professionals. Let's just get this done with." "Woah. Well that's romantic." "I'm not trying to be romantic." "Well, you're succeeding."

Tim and Lucy. Never change. Y'all are making me die laughing when normally I can't stand awkward scenes. But Tim and Lucy can be this frank with one another because neither thinks the other is an option.

Truly, that's what gives them all this freedom. They think the other person has zero interest. They each think it's all in their head. So, they can treat this little moment as something totally bizarre that they have to do for work.

Tim gives Lucy the most chaste-wouldn't-offend-my-Spanish-Catholic-grandmother kiss in the world. And he looks so damn proud of that tiny peck, too!

Lucy echoes all of our thoughts.

"I'm sorry. Is that it?" "You know what, if you're gonna criticize-"

Tired of talking, Lucy pulls him in with both her hands on his face. Their lips meet, and as soon as they do, Tim's hands instinctively go to her arms.

The kiss deepens as the camera shift around them, both of them leaning into one another as Lucy's right hand falls from Tim's face.

Their lips part briefly, the hint of a smile on Tim's lips as his hand settles on her shoulder. Lucy's left hand falls from his face.

This pause could have been the end of it. The second their lips parted, they had done the assignment. Case closed. Kiss achieved. Move on to the next thing.

But Tim and Lucy don't want to stop. Now that they're finally here, both of them want to keep going. Tim has her in his arms. She has her hands on his chest.

In this moment, they've forgotten the assignment. They've forgotten Chris and Ashley. This is the definition of "getting lost in the moment". Tim and Lucy are the moment.

Tim is a touching-foreheads kisser and a top-lip-lover. He goes for hers just as the door behind them opens.

You've. Been. Caught.

Lucy distances herself from Tim by pushing off of him with her hands. His left hand drops from her am as he literally runs to the wall to put distance between them.

"I should probably go."

I love Tamara. Like, she's not judging them in this moment, and she has absolutely no idea what is happening. But, she has to know that there's something between them just waiting to be unlocked.

"No. This is work. This is work."

Lucy spat it out the first time, but she says it again because, well, it's true. And she needs a way to explain this away. Not just to Tamara, but to herself.

"Yeah, yeah, we're, we're going undercover." "Hey, it's cool. I mean, you don't have to explain yourself. I should probably go." "No!" "No, I, I was just about to leave. You know what? No, I don't have anything."

Cackling. Dying. ROLLING the first time I heard that. Tim Bradford is so flustered he can't even remember if he brought anything in with him. And what would he be looking for, exactly? A file? Paperwork?

"I'll see you tomorrow." "Good work tonight. Ay."

Lucy. Chen. Did you really just say that? Even she can't believe she said that. But Tim is too flustered to call her out on it.

"Great work, as well. Bye."

Tim high-tails it out of there so fast. And Lucy lets him go. But why?

Because they both know what just happened wasn't some fluke. They both wanted it. They both felt it. And neither knows what would have happened if they hadn't been interrupted, but both knows that because they were... it's awkward.

Like, they could barely talk about having to kiss. How are they going to talk about the fact that it felt... real?

"I'm gonna go to my room." "Yeah, me, too."

Lucy can't talk about this. Tamara just walked in on her kissing a man who isn't the man she's dating. Not just thin-lipped kissing. We're talking mouths open, bodies touching, hunger growing kind of kissing. And it was with her boss.

And who is outside reeling? Tim Bradford. I love that the writers/director gave us this space to see how Tim feels. Because it would be so easy to dismiss this as a one-sided thing where the subordinate falls for her boss.

But Tim Bradford's been on his way down for a long time. He's been able to push it down, repeatedly. Even last episode when picturing his wife, he had to push Lucy down. I firmly believe it.

But tonight he kissed Lucy Chen. And she kissed back.

I used to think this was his moment of realization, but the more I've rewatched the episodes, I still think 4x01 was a huge revelatory moment for both of them that they've been pushing down and ignoring ever since. They never discussed it and they're both running from it.

This is the episode that makes it so much harder for Tim to run. He's been completely convinced his feelings were one-sided. But this is a hint to him that, maybe, he's wrong. Maybe, just maybe, she feels it, too.

Because she wasn't kissing him like a platonic coworker. She was breathing into him as much as he was breathing into her.

She didn't want to stop anymore than he did, and when Tamara walked in, they were both flustered. She felt it, too.

Yes, Tim's reeling from how he feels because he was smacked in the face with feels tonight. But he's also reeling from the fact that freaking Lucy Chen kissed him back.

"Hey." "Hey."

He was waiting for her. He's been thinking about this since last night, as has she. And he wants to talk to her before they head in.

"Listen, about-" "We should probably-" "Go ahead." "No, you go first." "You sure?" "Mmhmm." "Uh, okay. I just wanted to say..."

His eyes are so soft, here. Look at him. He's more of a show guy, but he's trying to find his words. And Lucy Chen's looking at him so expectantly.

And he chickens out.

"We need more work on our backstory. Give it more depth. Key moments. You know?" "Yeah, we, uh, we could take the morning, you know, while we're waiting for Hajick to call." "Great." "Great."

Look, obviously it's the Season 4 finale and they needed to drag this out more. But there are also a host of obstacles between Tim and Lucy, and he's not entirely sure of how he feels.

Having the night to think has also lead to time for him to doubt. He's doubting his own memories. Maybe it was the beer. Maybe the adrenaline. Maybe it meant something to him and nothing to her.

So, he chickens out. But Lucy doesn't know that. All she knows is that Tim wanted to talk to her, but it wasn't what she'd hoped to hear... so she shoves her feeling back down.

They're both in a point of mad denial. But, I think this episode was a turning point for them because it marks the end of them being able to pretend with themselves.

Yes, they'll still pretend with one another because they care so much about each other that they want the other to be happy, no matter what.

But, within their hearts both Tim and Lucy know there's something there that cannot be ignored any longer. Tim longs for Lucy. Lucy yearns for Tim. And until they start actually talking about all this, that's where they'll stay.

As always, thank you for reading! Please keep the requests coming! It rained all day, the kids had a rainy-weather fun day indoors, Matt has a cold, and I'm still nursing the back thing. So, writing this was a great distraction.

I really appreciate y'all reading and going on this journey with me. Next one'll likely be for Tuesday night's fresh airing of 5x13. But I'll try to get to more requests on the flipside! Stay safe out there.

[arsontisticallyinfernal]

»»—-𝐻𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝒻𝓉𝑒𝓇—-««

꧁𓊈 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𓊉꧂

Summary: It's been a while since Yuu lashed out towards the first years, but Yuu hasn't showed up to any classes ever since the last overblot.

Content warnings: attachment issues, abandonment, possible ooc writing, overblot mentions, the fields are barren of anything but angst

Genre: Angst, no comfort, there is no actual happy ending and the title is a lie

Fandom: Disney's Twisted Wonderland

Characters: Malleus Draconia, Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Grim, and the first years are mentioned

Pronouns: They/them reader, He/it Malleus, He/him Ace

Writing time: fifty-four(54) minutes

•°¯`•• 𝐹𝒾𝒸 𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝒸𝓊𝓉 ••´¯°•

The sky was dark, clouds congregating over Ramshackle like a halo of shame. Sat in the lounge, was Yuu, alone in misery on the couch with their grey feline peacefully asleep on their lap. They should've felt happy, an overblot hasn't happened in months, yet something clung onto their skin like a leech that kept biting at their mental state.

Were the first years okay?

It was one of the many questions in Yuu's mind, they wanted to feel mad at them all, but they couldn't have the heart to genuinely hate anyone in the school.

As they slowly petted Grim, the sound of sudden thunder shook the prefect, whipping their head upwards and towards the window, narrowing their eyes as they noticed a figure in the yard. It was a welcomed presence, one that Yuu adored. They carefully picked up Grim from their lap and set him on a cushion, placing a blanket on top of the cat. With that, they grabbed the umbrella by the doorway and treaded outside, opening it up and making their way to the fae.

"Tsunotarou, it's been some time." Yuu spoke with clear joy in their voice, walking up to its side, a smile spreading across their face.

"Yes, it has been, child of man. I have heard you haven't been attending school?"

"Oh...yes. That. Well, I just needed some time I guess, it's been tiring."

Yuu always felt comfortable around Malleus.

"If there's something troubling your mind, you can tell me."

He had looked down at Yuu, smiling at the prefect. It's been months since they first met, yet it felt like it's been years with how close the two have grown. Malleus was blind to what the future will be, it was too busy being caught up in the present to even take a guess.

"I just...Malleus I'm gonna be going home."

What?

"Crowley finally got me a portal to get back to my world. I want to go home, really! But...I feel like I haven't done enough, I feel like I still need to apologize to everyone. And..."

They didn't want to leave behind the many people they've come to love and treat like family.

Yuu didn't want to say anything more, fearing that they'd hurt Malleus more than they already have with the news. It looked shocked, befuddled, and broken, like a shattered pot laid upon the ground to be looked at.

"You're...going home?"

He couldn't muster itself to say more, because that's all that needed to be said.

"You're leaving me?"

"Tsuno...this world, it isn't for me, I'm not supposed to be here! I feel like a bug in the system of the world. I stick out like a branch in mud, Tsuno. I don't want to leave you behind but..."

Everything is as silent as it was inside. Neither of them exchanged any words the rest of the night.

The next day, Yuu finally went to their classes, awaiting the end of the day. Once sunset came about, only Yuu's closest friends were invited to the orientation room, left to sit in silence as Yuu bid them all a bland goodbye before stepping through a portal that was a warped picture of their home.

Ace made eye contact with Yuu right before they went through, he looked miserable. Standing all around him were the first years, Ace knew that he and Deuce would be most affected.

He still had so much to tell Yuu, they all still had so many adventures to have as a group.

He hoped it'd be the same without the magicless prefect. But deep inside, he knew nothing would ever be the same.

𝔼𝕟𝕕.

@brushtailedportals

Requests are always open!

[cult-of-the-eye]

MAG 87 let's goooo

I've heard of the uncanny valley before I think from a Tumblr post actually isn't it like non-humans that look like humans but slightly off that creep us out??

Sounds cool tho

GEORGIE!!!! JON!!!!

God I love her she actually tries to knock some sense into Jon

Jon's hesitation at accepting help is frustrating when he's just claimed that he's ready to accept that he needs allies but I guess it's understandable when he doesn't want to bring someone who doesn't have a place in this all into the situation

But also I guess he can't really help bringing her in, cause he's staying at her house, she's probably already in to a certain degree

This is already so long so I'm putting a read more

She knows that she's a last resort, she seems like a genuinely kind person, she's completely understood that the man is desperate but she's also willing to draw a line wow shes so cool

"you're a good person" augh god that must've been difficult for him to hear

"whatever this is, it's messing you up"

Georgie's right about everything all the time that's the conclusion I'm coming to from this

I like how she says you can choose to leave it alone, i think it might've been the first time it had crossed Jon's mind since it all started that maybe he had a choice in this, but the tragedy is that it's been said too late, if he did ever have choice, then it's definitely gone by now. And Jon is very much aware of that.

GERTRUDE????

Sebastian skinner THE NAME

Getrude seems very like practical about the way she does things, case number first, name, where it occurred and dates, like she doesn't do any of Jon's "head archivist of the Magnus Institute, London" stuff I guess cause he was doing it to sound important and she doesn't need that, she knows exactly what she's doing and what the situation is so she can just get straight to the point with it

I love analysing everyone's different little intro bit I think it's so cool how their personalities and beliefs form part of it

This statement actually like shook me, I don't know why but lately the statements have been sort of getting to me. I don't think they've gotten scarier though, I think my frame of mind has just changed recently

Just weirdo little valley with weirdo little people doing fucking blood rituals

It was very classic horror movie

I googled flensing on incognito mode cause I wasn't sure what would come up lol

Yeah that ending was horrifying I hate the idea of the only thing being left is the mannequin

That's so funny Gertrude was like fuck this guy's name in particular

So orsinov is like the avatar of the stranger

And they're skinning people for some sort of ritual called the Unknowing

Of course Gertrude is the kind of woman to use the word ilk in every day language

Wait fuck this was in 2015 and the current statements are set in what? 2016/7? The Unknowing has to be close then oh god

Oh god she got attacked??? By what???

Who the fuck is Jude perry

Do I know her???

Oh god poor Mr skinner

FUCK FUCK FUCK ITS CALLIOPE MUSIC FUCK OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

Oh god Georgie is really in it now if she can hear it

He sounds so scared jesus christ

I appreciate Georgie trying to get the stuff out of her house but girl I don't think that's gonna stop it from being there

Oh god he's trying so hard to keep it from Georgie but now he's realised that he actually can't

He has put her in danger and that's the fact of it

"I'm not sure I can."

AUGH

HE HAS NO CHOICE IN IT. HE KNOWS. HIS PATH HAS BEEN SOLIDIFIED. DNBSHSJSKWKSMSMKSSJJDJ

[lamonnaie]

MinQ thoughts (Ft. Ties and Rope)

icymi min is ohm's character and Q is leng's character :]

Early on (ep 3-ish) Something something they're making out now, clothes are coming off, Q's in a suit for whatever reason (Min orchestrating a fake photoshoot of some sort to get people off his back? idk) Q takes off his own tie and all while they're making out, he ties Min's hands to the headboard. By the time Min realises, its too late, Q just drops one last peck to his lips then leaves him there tied up - for revenge reasons not kinky reasons (this time around at least)

Then a while later, around ep 7-ish in terms of relationship development, they've got a system set up where Q's allowed to go out for certain business but he ultimately comes back to Min (is this even for kidnapping reasons or are they just boyfriends without the name at this point? who knows tbh, not them thats for sure) This time he comes back in a suit, they make out about it, Min's undressing Q all sexily but then HE ties Qs hands to the headboard without him realising. Q's all "what the fuck are you using my own trick on me", and mins like "yep", then he walks out the door, Q's shouting after him "you know I wouldn't leave anyway right", Min backtracks his head popping up in the doorway and asks "really", Qs just like "yeah" but Mins like "Mmm, I don't think so," then he walks away for real - this time the tying up is for abandonment issue reasons

(also very indicative of how building trust between them is gonna be so much back and forth, very 2 steps forward 1 step back, min doesnt have to tie Q up but he still believes that he does)

(yes this entire tie saga is largely inspired by ohm and his obsession with tugging around leng by his tie 😩😩)

Also SO many shenanigans (horny and otherwise) from their whole hands tied together while they sleep deal

one of the first times they're sleeping with their hands tied, they're in bed, min's asleep (or is he) and Q's on his side just watching min. he brings up his free hand to trace min's features, the camera follows, doing the thing where it zooms in on each specific part of his face as Q touches over it ever so lightly. He's tracing min's lips when it pans back to reveal Min's eyes are open (maybe they have been all along?). Q's frozen, not sure how Min's gonna react, but then min just slightly parts his lips and all of a sudden Q's fingers are inside his mouth. (logistics of sex when your hands are tied to each other? i'm sure that's a thing people are into, i'll leave the experts to figure it out)

something about how min's the kidnapper and he's technically got the control here, but tying their hands together places them both in the same situation,they're both restrained, neither can fully do as they please, they're equals in a sense

(because isn't that really their whole situation? different circumstances, but at the end of the day they're both trapped)

and the best way to navigate when their hands are tied is to do it together, hold hands and try to work through it with their combined strength

But also as Q's sleepwalking stops, the nightmares don't.

post-canon, they're together, they're happy, no more sick brothers or kidnapping, but some nights (no where near as often anymore, thankfully) Q will still get nightmares. min's heard the stuff about never waking up a sleepwalker, and waking up Q from his nightmares is a whole challenge in itself anyway. but min somehow figures out that having their hands tied together makes the nightmares go away almost entirely. so whenever he wakes up from Q's sobs and thrashing around in the middle of the night, he'll grab the rope from their side table and carefully bind their wrists together, just like they used to before. the first time Q wakes up to the ropes around his wrist again, Min's been up almost the whole night himself, first from Q's nightmares, then from anticipating Q's reaction to the whole rope situation. he's not exactly proud of how their relationship begun and every other time they've brought out the rope since (it definitely gets its fair share of use in the MinQ household) it's been with clear consent and enthusiasm on both their parts sometime beforehand.

but of course, Q wakes up, barely even acknowledges the rope at all, grabs onto Min's hand even tighter, turns around so he's nestled even further into Min's side, and promptly goes back to sleep.

they talk about it later (talking has been something they've been working on in the relationship), and establish that it really doesn't bring up any bad memories for Q (no doubt overshadowed by all the better rope-related memories they've made since) and that min's allowed to tie Q up as he pleases.

(Min doesn't know whether he wants to cry or be horny about that admission) (He decides on both, maybe even at the same time)

at some point the rope becomes a comfort thing for them, more than anything else. more nights than not they'll go to bed with their hands tied together, holding hands becoming their normal sleeping position

they've had friends over who were offended that they were doing kinky shit with other people there (Min thinks the friend deserves it for coming into their room unannounced anyway), but it takes a bit of explaining to make unnamed friend realise that it really isn't a sex thing

(except when it is, but they keep that to themselves this time)

[starter-library]

GOOD MORNING BEDLAM'S LULU LYRIC STARTERS

EDIT AS YOU SEE FIT

I Am Sad

“Dance it off and let them see only ever part of me”

“You're far too quick to let me in”

“I feel your fear it hurts my chest”

“I too am fighting loneliness”

“I'm sad to say that I am sad”

“I'm sad to say it, but I've done the best that I can. Just had to say,My best is sad”

“I've done it in forty four states”

“Steal your words and bite my tongue cus every story's now been sung”

Blue House

“When I woke the sun was new”

“Even ink that marked our height will be repainted out of sight”

“It all must go under the knife every dent from making life”

“The fall of Rome was bound to be. Not to endure eternally”

“Now it's time to leave what we know, chase the new and let love grow”

“It's more than bricks that make a home”

“She'll learn to love and all it's ache and how to mend after it breaks”

Hold Me

“Well I've been sitting around since a quarter to three”

“Ain't found a god for whom I'd fall to my knees, But I haven't had a half bad time”

“I won't win an award for what's inside of my brain, Just found out New Jersey was a U.S. state”

“I've got you on my arm as we walk in the rain, So I guess you'd say I'm in my prime”

“Baby tell me once more that you're mine”

“May be losing all my sanity to the hunger of humanity if you're losing it right next to me I swear I'll be just fine”

“My mouth will run itself right into first place so I guess that I'm doing ok”

“You love me still can't seem to change that a bit, wouldn't have it any other way”

“Once broke my nose just from falling down”

“My talking voice is as loud as my shout”

“I'm trying to keep it together as I'm falling apart”

“I find you to be a work of art, Need no one else to share my days”

“I am standing here just watching all the people going round. Seems no one else is doing better at figuring this out”

“We're all stumbling around and picking ourselves up but I went tripping into madness and falling into love”

Haint Blue

“I sing your praises to the waning moon”

“I'm haunted and so are you although we smothered all our ceilings in that bright haint blue”

“It's only in my dreams where he lets be, you see I'm waking up to find that the ghost is me”

“Time won't let us be”

“We're on borrowed time since you set me free”

“I'm haunted and so are you”

I’m haunted, can’t you see him too?”

The Haunting

“We keep repeating the same words in heightened speech, with cutting verbs”

“If i don’t hear, your words won’t hurt”

“Never put up any fight except when it’s in my own mind”

“Like a smothered storm my thoughts they go unknown: Patch the boat, mind the water, make it home”

“I’m so scared i’m the one that is to blame”

“But lies will rot the heart and thoughts and never shield me like I think”

“Someday we’ll learn to shut our mouths”

“Over and over and over it goes with the wine playing tricks and the room spinning slow”

“And I’m trying to focus and show you I notice your eyes perfectly match the dress that you’ve chosen”

“And if you’re saying that you love me--say it slow. And I’ll need you to show me”

Enough

“And I hear it And I see it And I breathe it. It echos, echos, Round it resounds without end”

“Sometimes I don't know if I am loved”

“Sometimes I don't know if I'm enough”

“Not even God could love someone like you”

“I've been trying to retrace my tracks, Hoping to find my way back; When the only running was tag, when you know being it won't last”

Blessed Boy

“I have no one to care for, no one to need and only when running am I ever free”

“I'll fly to the moon and I'll never return, There I can rest as I watch the world turn”

“Blessed boy I've heard your voice and I know they've done you wrong”

“In between your fitful dreams will you learn you do belong”

“It takes more than moonlight to cause you to bloom, come to the garden there's plenty of room”

You are Gonna Miss Me

“Always had this feeling that your hearts not really mine and that some perfect lover was always on your mind”

“You are gonna miss me you will miss my face someday”

“Oh my darling boy i was looking up to you- Well not physically except when you put lifts inside your shoes”

“Boy you did me wrong how could you let me fall- couldn't catch me with hands that were that small”

“You want to make all my decisions but i don't want the same”

“Honey this is my show here i always drink for free”

Salt

“But tide will rise and reclaim her command”

“Mother I'm scared your waters are much too high for me”

“Your changeable ways throw me for days as if lost on the sea”

“The water's calm but still I cannot rest while storms are ever raging in my chest”

“From her I was made with love and care but by her hand I'm scattered everywhere”

“Leaning back the water holds my weight now it will be my turn to create”

Lulu

“I see no way will I hold her like the cinema told me to try”

“When I look at you I see no chance of pushing through and I must be the one to say goodnight”

“Some wishes made are wises left behind”

“She kissed me so sweetly and she promised me nothing but sweetness to last”

[puppy-stevee]

how do i say goodbye

Gimme that sweet sweet angst?

i talk.......way too much ab my wips on here bc ive got posts for almost all of them

but here it is

Once Eddie's out in the hallway, he slides down the wall until he hits the floor and pulls his knees up to his chest.

"Uncle Wayne! Look!"

Wayne grins as he nephew runs up hill to where Wayne's sitting in his lawn chair, fishing pole in one hand and a wiggling fish still on the line and hook in the other. "Hey now, look at that," Wayne says proudly. "Bigger'n the last one ya caught, too." There's blood when he helps the boy pry the hook from the fish's gill and he tosses it onto the small pile they've got waiting to be cleaned.

Eddie beams up at him with a smile that's missing two teeth and it makes Wayne's heart hurt. How anyone, let alone his own flesh and blood, could hurt a boy this precious was beyond him, but he'd be damned if he let it happen again. Eddie was his boy now and he wasn't gonna let anyone get in the way of that.

"I like fishing," Eddie says after they've cleaned the fish and stuck them in the ice cooler they brought, heading up the hill from the lake to Wayne's truck. "Daddy never let me outside much. Said the bad people would take me away and I'd never see him again."

The hallway's empty. Eddie buries his face in his arms and lets himself cry for the first time since he heard Claudia's voice on their answering machine, his shoulders wracking with silent sobs.

Wayne's blood runs cold. If he ever saw his brother again he'd kill him. There's so many things he could say about that man but Eddie doesn't deserve that, not when he's still got some good, albeit messed up, memories left of his father. Instead, he ruffles his nephew's hair and helps him climb up into the passenger seat, says, "Well you best be gettin' used to it. Boy your age should be playin' out in the sun and getting a little dirty."

[pens-and-paperbacks]

"Nobody wants to work! Everyone is so lazy! No one has any work ethic!"

That's all a lie and I'm sorry you've been made to believe that. The truth is people are applying and many people have great work ethic or can be easily taught but the jobs they're forced into are so trash that if they had the choice, why would they ever actually apply there? Why would they want to work there?

My current workplace, a gas station, is sitting on at least a dozen applications but my boss won't hire any of them because, "they're welfare fodder, they've only kept a job for six months or less." We're finally hiring someone in now because, "they looked put together and have a nice looking car," but only because one of my coworkers is leaving, having out in a notice a month ago which my boss hasn't forgiven her for and is spiteful about. All of this doesn't even touch the HUGE mouse problem we had for MONTHS, the heavily leaking ceiling with a huge hole over its door, or the mold that's just everywhere throughout the fridges and the ceiling tiles. And even THAT doesn't touch on the surprising amount of racist and homophobic comments I hear from customers (or employees/my boss sometimes) here and there.

At another job I worked from the stores opening, through orientation, and watched everyone that had miraculously lasted the first two years leave because two of my managers had an affair, lied about it to everyone, fired someone over seeing their text messages and kept messing up our supply orders. When my actual boss finally stepped in he was so out of touch with what actually needed to be done in the store that it caused worse problems. I also heard at some point, when people had to take on second jobs, that this boss was flat out doing everything he could to get rid of people because, " they were making another job their priority instead of this one."

The second job I had to take during the one mentioned just above (because I was one of those people not getting enough hours) was flat out a horrible, toxic work environment. Everyone had a bad attitude, did not want to be there and even if it seemed like they were having a good day, one wrong work or work slip up made their mood flip on a dime. I had to flat out ask to not be put on the schedule with one of the employees because they were that mean to me, and I can get along with anyone so that's saying something. The labor cost they had was absolutely ridiculous there (meaning they could only keep so many people on at a time to afford being there, possibly only two even during a lunch or dinner rush with a fully packed drive through and lobby) and when one manager decided, "I have to send my help home and work by myself for an hour, otherwise I'm gonna get yelled at about the labor cost," and singlehandedly handled one of those lunch rushes on their own. They were written up for it. They left that morning after signing that paper because, despite not being allowed to be there on your own as an employee, our boss was adamant about labor costs and could have covered for her or not told anyone. If she hadn't have some what she did, she would have actually been yelled at. It was an incredibly disrespectful move done in the name of corporate.

The one job that paid me well did so because they appreciated my work and everyone else kept leaving. I saw three raises in three months because I was essentially THE kitchen manager. That was great. Thing was, even though the people I worked with and for were good to me, it was a bowling alley/restaurant/arcade/bar where you were expected to prep, cook, take reservations, set people up on lanes via computer, serve people if your manager was busy, do light maintenance on the bowling machines and arcade machines, keep up with dishes and get the end of the day cleaning done which sometimes meant vacuuming the carpet across all eighteen lanes of customer seating and cleaning the tables/chairs stationed there too. All of that, despite the raises, was done for minimum wage starting and the place was almost always packed. I'd often get asked to stay because they kept a few employees that while good at their job they just missed shifts constantly because they knew they could, since this job had on-call shifts too. There were nights my husband picked me up that I was so sore and overworked that I would get in the car and just start sobbing. I wouldn't stop for ten minutes or more, either until we were mostly home or we got something to eat since I was normally too hungry to keep crying.

The very first job I ever got was at a pizza place. Over all it was the most laid back, despite being run by one of the Mafia families in town (of which there are a few but tbf they're very low key). The problem there was that the boss was a fucking scumbag who thought that in his case the Mafia status made him a big shot. It didn't. On a side note, his self important scumbag attitude made the other families in the area see him for the joke he was. He would make passes at the waitresses in exchange for streak dinners and money, only ever hire girls who were cute/pretty as waitresses so he could have a chance at doing so with someone cute/pretty. When we had a lot of money coming in he would spend it on improving the bar that was attached to the restaurant, as in getting new flat screen tvs or new glasses, some trivial thing that he didn't actually need. Not the kitchen ware that needed fixing, which at one point caused me to get a third degree burn because someone ended up running into my arm with boiling hot lasagna out of an oven we didn't normally use. There was also a point where I had to deliver a pizza to him, which he ordered drunkenly and over the phone while he was in the bar only twenty feet away, but when I went to deliver it to him and grab a jug of wine I needed for the restaurant, his grandson (very politely) had to stop me from doing so because his grandfather was doing something with a woman in the backroom of the bar in the middle of the day.

Currently, I have to move out of my house and in with friends a state away with my husband because even with two people working nearly 40 hours each at a minimum wage job still isn't enough to live and thrive off of. It's nothing we can make an actual life off of. We have to leave our house behind for a season, get new jobs and save money in this new place, just so we can afford to come back and fix up and sell our house/land. Our combined income is about $30,000 flat, in a small town where everything was just affordable enough to get by. It isn't anymore.

I sent out five job applications in one month only to hear back from one with a no, the others ghosted me completely until just the other day, literally the month after.

"No one wants to work! Everyone is lazy! No one is applying!"

You don't know how bad it is and has been even before COVID. Add inflation onto the long list of fucked up, unprofessional or flat out cruel things that can be done or said in many workplaces, which you have to deal or else your fired, on top a work chore/task sheet that probably keeps you overworked and exhausted the entire week/month/year and I ask you-

Would you want to work?

[nymphrasis]

"Infamous second son"?

GOOD GOD, its been a decade since I last touched, or even heard of that game!

Got it when the PS4 released, and it was the first game ever played on it!

It was the first infamous game i played, and I fell in love with each of Delsin's powers, and abilities!

His powers were new and unique to me, and shattered my expectations, as I thought he was gonna have something generic, and mainstream, like fire bending, water powers, super strength, and power to fly, ETC...

At first, i thought the first powers he got was fire, but after reading tutarioul, HE WAS CONTROLLING LITERAL SMOKE.

I loved that... Man time flies too fast...

I dont know what this "Eilimtura" thing is you seem to be working on, but I would love to see someone do something with those kinds powers again, after all this time!

Would be very nostalgic to see.

My favorite of the 4 powers was VIDEO!

Honestly I've planned to watch the Infamous series to both learn and, well, know more of the game because my curiosity is peeled ;w;. And, because of Xavi ask, I feel more invested towards it <3.

Admittedly I even looked at concept art of the abilities through the power of Google because I was curious of how they've done it nwn.

Eilimitura is, in a sense, my own creature taming game project ;u;. It is an idea I had since around 2013-2014, but never pursue further with it until 2018 where I started collecting designs first as I write the story I had in mind ( I do need to put them in script format to make it easier. The story itself is not done-done, as there have been some revisions and edits. Admittedly the story itself is much better now than it is back then ^^. Back then story, to give a snippet for the beginning ( It is NOT like that in the current story. I completely redid the story from scratch, after feeling so uninspired and dissatisfied with the original ), originally the player is in a train ride with their parents ( Originally the main character was intended to be a minor ), where they were returning back to their hometown after years in the city. Awoken from a bizarre "dream" where a mysterious voice have spoken to them. Letting them know that their choices can effect the lives of others and potentially the course of the world. And blah blah ehhh. I really didn't like this and the rest of the story tbh ;-;". The story felt too basic, there wasn't as much of a good hook, and admittedly at the time there were a couple of plot holes ( No ome pointed this to me because I've wanted the story itself to be a surprise. So story aspects I keep to myself. But I do reread them after certain lengths have reached ).

Current story is much different and I am much more satisfied with it nwn/. I still wish to keep the story to myself for the time being, as I still love to make it a surprise to others ( Once I reach to script format, I do plan to get second opinions from those close to me. And I will be firm with them being honest with me too. I don't want people to just pay me in the back and tell me everything is perfect, hiding away opinions of need of edits ;-; ) ;7;. But yes the genre is creature taming! Adventure, action, and sneak in a bit of horror element too ( Not too much! Just a bit ;D ).

Because of Xavi advice and suggestion, I admittedly do want to play around with lesser known elements!

I Will admit that I have decided to have the implementation of extra elements be sub-types that is manmade rather it being sort of natural ^^/. But to make them more special, in a sense, said sub-elements are only seen in some Eiluminias ( Rare creature variants. Think of shinies, but if it alter appearances in some way, change their elements, have them access to that specific elemental skills, and that's it ouo. ). Having only some Eiluminia be able to hold access to these specific elements would honestly make them feel even more worth-while to obtain. Not just have them be a trophy and that's it >u<.

Infamous will be an inspiration, yes yes! Of course I will have my own touch in a way >u<. Admittedly I did added a manmade element that did pop to mind to add. Pictus, or moreso Paint. That was a mix of inspiration of Splatoon ( I don't play the game but I know of the series ) and Namine from KH ( She doesn't paint. She moreso draws. But that artistic ability is what inspired the idea nwn ). Having art as more of a skill on creatures would be fun to play around with :D.

But ah sorry >w<. I hope this is an alright answer!

ONe last thing to say: From what I saw, I took love the Video ability Infamous shared! At least from what I saw ;u;. It looks so cool and genuinely is one of my favorites!