#Fear of Conflict

[amyintherapy]

"Conflict Avoidant"

I saw this in a tiktok and keep thinking about it.

People call themselves (or others) "conflict avoidant" often. Or they say they're afraid of conflict. I definitely have said these thing myself. This tiktok stuck with me because it made such a good point. Which is, the vast majority of these people aren't really afraid of conflict. Because conflict is just having a disagreement. And disagreeing when you both respect each other and have good intentions, is not a bad or scary thing at all. It often is a really positive thing. It's something that allows you to reconfigure something in your life so that it works better for you and better for your loved ones. It can be a chance to grow, and a chance to connect with someone, understand them better, etc. Even if the conflict is extremely tough and you can't seem to find a way to come to an agreement...you could still walk away agreeing to disagree. Conflict is just sharing your perspectives while they share theirs, and you work to find a sense of understanding, or learn where to place boundaries, or you find a way to negotiate so that both people are better off, etc. Healthy conflict isn't scary to most people. Most people, if they were conflict that conflict would be handled with respect, no raised voices, no name calling or manipulation, etc - they'd not be afraid of or choose to avoid the conversation at all.

Most people who are "afraid of conflict" are actually afraid of abuse. They have a history of knowing that when they disagree with someone else, or when they ask for someone to accommodate a need, or that they need to set boundary - that people have responded with hostility, rejection, screaming, emotional abuse, even physical abuse. So they assume that if they bring up a problem or a need, that this person will (or at least might) mistreat them. And that's what they are afraid of. Or perhaps instead of abuse, they associate conflict with being abandoned/neglected, so they fear if they raise conflict, they'll be abandoned.

Fear of abuse, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, yes. And humans are supposed to be afraid of these things. Those are protective instincts.

But it's not a fear of conflict. We shouldn't be afraid of conflict with people who respect us, and if you've lived a life that has taught you to associate abuse, mistreatment or abandonment with conflict, then it's understandable that you've become conflict avoidant in an attempt to be abuse/mistreatment/abandonment avoidant - but it's a shame because respectful conflict/disagreement is a key part of healthy relationships.

[djkingfury]

I've always found it hard to tell someone when I feel like they've been injust with me. Maybe just because I don't want to be wrong and look stupid. I also can't explain exactly what they did made me feel like it was unjust or wrong.

[engineeringeconomicshub]

Unpacking the 5 Dysfunctions of a Team: Implications for Economic Success

In the intricate dance of organizational dynamics, the effectiveness of a team is often the linchpin that determines the success or failure of a venture. Patrick Lencioni’s seminal work, “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team,” provides a compelling framework for understanding and addressing common pitfalls that teams encounter. This article explores the profound impact that these dysfunctions can have…

[justafewberries]

y’know how all of the books we have revolve around a d12 winner? after sotr there will be only one d12 victor remaining without a dedicated book.

Peeta Mellark

[magnetic-rose]

"why are beelzebub and gabriel allowed to be happy but aziraphale and crowley aren't" because this story isn't about beelzebub and gabriel. it's not that they got their happy ending and aziracrow got fucked over. gabriel and beelzebub's relationship is meant to show aziraphale and crowley what they can have if they were on the same page. this is what aziraphale and crowley can achieve in the next season. because gabriel and beelzebub's story is done (for now). aziraphale and crowley still have at least one more season.

[mysterycitrus]

their relationship is complex and not entirely definable but if u look me in the eyes and tell me that dick grayson isn’t bruce waynes first kid im not gonna take u super seriously. sowwy

[superbat-lmao]

A mage who doesn’t like child soldiers targets Batman in Gotham. They know that several vigilantes connected to him are children or were children when they started.

Their vendetta against him basically boils down to, “What the hell were you thinking?” and they cast a spell against him accordingly.

Every day, a new family member will be able to read Bruce’s mind for 24 hours. It’s entirely random and the definition of “family member” is incredibly loose, but everyone knows the Robins are his children because of how berserk he went when Robin II died.

On the one hand, it’s a horrific violation of everyone’s privacy.

On the other, Bruce finally figures out what his kids think of him and don’t say. And his kids are finally able to realize that yes, he cares about them exactly as much as they want him to. He’s literally the absolute worst at showing it or communicating that, but he cares.

Dick gets confirmation that Bruce knows how good he is, how capable he is to lead a team. That Bruce doesn’t secretly think that when he screws up it’s because he isn’t cut out to be a vigilante. When he screws up, Bruce gets scared and lashes out in the only way an emotionally repressed father can, by making it worse. That Bruce doesn’t think Dick is incapable of looking after himself or making the right call. All of Bruce’s attempts to control Dick or his life were because he was scared. Because he wanted Dick to be better than him, and he is, just not in the ways Bruce was first able to see. Having more friends and being connected to people is infinitely more important than college, though it took time for Bruce to see that. Dick is Bruce’s first son and he couldn’t be more proud.

Jason realizes that Bruce loves him. That he tears himself apart over their relationship. That he feels there’s a clear line between Bruce’s opinion of Jason and of Jason’s actions. Because murder is wrong and Bruce’s philosophy is grounded in second chances. Because he just wants Jason to come home and his son’s actions scare him because he’s more isolated from backup than his brothers. Jason can literally feel how Bruce thinks, how he sees murder and how he thinks about himself. Bruce doesn’t think it’s a line he would be able to walk away from, and Jason feels more precarious seeing the world as his father thinks about it than in his own head. There is far less judgement in Bruce’s thoughts. Just pure concern. And self doubt over what to say. Bruce never sought to replace him, would have joined him, and has missed him. Those were always Jason’s major concerns.

Tim sees that Bruce views him as his son. That he wasn’t a substitute for Jason and he doesn’t secretly think Tim shouldn’t have been Robin. Bruce thinks that Tim reminds him a lot of himself and based on all the things people say about him, that makes Bruce nervous. Because he wants Tim to have fun and be a kid, not feel chained to work the way Bruce is. He knows they both have workaholic tendencies and wants better for Tim, wants him to have friends and a life outside of work. But Tim also knew Bruce at his lowest and so he will always feel guilty that it was Tim who pulled him out of his grief spiral, because Bruce wasn’t strong enough to do it himself.

Damian learns that Bruce was so excited for him to be born and devastated when he thought Talia had lost the pregnancy. That he was furious his son had been hidden from him. That he loves Damian and loved Talia and wasn’t sure how to separate out those feelings. That he would have wanted Damian no matter his level of training, if he gave up this lifestyle or anything. That there is nothing Damian, or any of his family could do to make Bruce stop loving them. Damian is wanted. He can also see that Bruce struggles with knowing how to handle him being a kid that acts like an adult. How he knows how capable Damian is, but that no children should go through that. Bruce didn’t have that sort of childhood. And while his own wasn’t exactly happy, he still got to be a kid. And innocence and youth aren’t things to be looked down on, just experienced. And Bruce doesn’t want Damian to not have those experiences, even if he doesn’t value them as others do. He learns that Bruce trusts him and that his father feels emotions acutely and strongly, such that he becomes reactive in a way that feels accusatory or disappointed but is just afraid.

They all realize that Bruce needs them and hates himself for needing them. That they are his children and he loves them and wants them safe. But that those feelings constantly war with how capable they are, how good his children are at what they do. How much they care about the helping and protecting others. That every time he says something they beat themselves up over, it’s because he’s scared they’ll get hurt or make a mistake that they can’t undo and will have to live with. He never wanted them to join him and it’s not because he thought they couldn’t do it, but precisely because he knows they can. And that sometimes, that isn’t enough. Even metas can get hurt and even Superman could die. By comparison his children are so vulnerable and there’s only so much he can do to keep them safe.

Does he verbalize this?

Bruce thinks so.

But all his kids hear is:

You were too reckless.

You disobeyed orders.

You’re off patrol.

And oddly? This solves like half of the current problems his kids have with him. Because they never really believed him before and always felt the conversations were one-sided.

It does create several new problems thought because Bruce just had like a significant invasion of privacy as the most paranoid person on the planet, so it takes a while for him to calm down and actually work things out with his kids in a way that lasts and isn’t just a bandaid over a bullet hole.

[jesncin]

this Clois comic is inspired by something my comic prof mentioned in class- he's a huge Superman fan but he said he's doesn't like Clark and Lois as a couple traditionally. He prefers Clark and Lana together because "Lana loves Clark for who he is, and Lois loves Superman- the idea of who Clark is". And he's not entirely wrong!

Classic Lois likes Superman because he's the macho guy and Clark is a wimp in her eyes. Once Lana was introduced as her natural opposite (loves Clark over Superman and knows his secret identity), Clois as a couple became harder to root for as an endgame. Canon is aware of this, so usually their way to combat this is "Clark doesn't feel the same way for Lana". in a way that doesn't feel convincing.

Still- I think this dynamic just needs more nuance and attention. I don't see this "Lois loves Superman, Lana loves Clark" dynamic as a problem- I see it as the basis for a compelling love triangle. The best love triangles have it so there's no perfect couple, and everyone is flawed in some way.

[cradle-of-darkness]

What have you done?

based on an idea @username8746489 had where sylvie discovered nightmare fuel for the first time on accident while getting bullied by some older kids (and pushing him further into social isolation now that he's known as "that scary kid who could summon someone's worst fear")

[mochela]

miscellaneous fungers

[lonelyoleander]

everything's better with friends~ ψ(｀∇´)ψ

[waitineedaname]

MXTX protagonists ranked by how bad their mommy/daddy issues are

Luo Binghe: absolutely nuclear level of mommy/daddy issues. this is the consequence of giving your protagonist two deadbeat dads and two dead moms, and then letting him project all those issues onto his overly indulgent teacher

Wei Wuxian: he could've had perfectly normal orphan levels of parent trauma, but what's that?? IT'S THE JIANG PARENTS WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!! the combo of fear and respect he had for Yu Ziyuan is already bad enough, but then there's also the feeling of responsibility for the Jiang siblings that they put on him, which then leads to, you know, all the Yunmeng sibling problems

Lan Wangji: this dude is so haunted by his father potentially kidnapping his mother and then locking her up and putting himself in seclusion, and this significantly shapes his relationship with Wei Wuxian. plus he took his mother's death really, really badly :(

Shen Qingqiu: he like never mentions his parents?? which is weird, but at least he's not haunted by it. however, he gets the special privilege of being the person exacerbating someone else's mommy/daddy issues. he brought this on himself. he doesn't get to walk out of a confession involving a metaphor where he'd be pregnant with his partner and act like that's normal

Xie Lian: he definitely has trauma surrounding his parents for sure, but they don't seem to have manifested as specifically mommy/daddy issues? it's just, you know. normal grief. honestly, there's so much shit going on with his trauma and baggage that he can't be defined by this one thing

Hua Cheng: does not seem to care about his parents?? at all???? he's presumably an orphan and they're probably the origin of his self worth issues, but like. in the grand scheme of things, they do not seem to be that big of a concern for him. who needs mommy issues when you have devotion to dianxia i guess

[adrift-in-thyme]

Panels with Time and the Master Sword are my favorite flavor of angst

Credit to @linkeduniverse

[yarmiko-art]

First base is mutual threats

A redraw of this thing I made two year ago. Still love the dynamic

Engaging in verbal passive-aggressive conversations with each other is actually very entertaining passtime. This is why their post-Robobot\pre-Star Allies interactions are so fun to me: this is a very shaky ground, riddled with mutual loathing. Susie, who really isn't doing very well after Max dying (technically her fault) and getting the CEO's status to pressure her. Also not actually processing her trauma in AD, but repressing it along with most of her emotions. And MK with his wounded pride, who is frustrated with himself first and foremost. And genuinely not trusting the new CEO of intergalactic corporation, which is kinda valid

I guess I just love the trope of "this evil\annoying person you preserve them as, turns out to be not so evil/annoying"

[pianokantzart]

Do you think Lu has any deeper fears like you headcanon that Mario does? More emotional ones; whereas lava and dogs and whatnot are more lighthearted?

This is me taking a little bit from the Mario & Luigi RPGs, but being deemed not worth the trouble and left behind, particularly by his brother.

While Luigi doesn't care that much about what people generally think of him, a lot of his sense of self-worth hinges on how he can help his brother.

Luckily, Mario thinks the world of Luigi and always will, but even so Luigi finds the idea of failing the one person who somewhat understands him to be more terrifying than any ghost.

[lotus-pear]

WOULD U GUYS STILL LOVE ME IF I DID PERSONA 5 FOR MY 13K DTIYS ☹️☹️☹️☹️