#FUCK IT THE A IN SAD IS FOR AWESOME SAUCE TOO

[saiwestfield]

The a in lgbtqia+ is for awesome-sauce

Bonus: the a in asd also stands for awesome sauce

Fuck it the a in adhd stands for awesome sauce too

[april-is]

April 20, 2025: Poem in the Shape of the Poet Beating Henry Kissinger to Death with Their Bare Hands, Felix Lecocq

Poem in the Shape of the Poet Beating Henry Kissinger to Death with Their Bare Hands Felix Lecocq

--

(Today's poem is shared as an image, and includes a transcription of the poem as alt text. If you're unable to see it, you can also find it transcribed below.)

US-funded projects addressing the ongoing impact of Agent Orange in Viet Nam (toxin cleanup, support for those with congenital disorders like the poet's) were disrupted by the abrupt dismantling of US foreign aid programming this year. Along with many others.

Today in: 2024: blessing the boats, Lucille Clifton 2023: Wound is the Origin of Wonder, Maya C. Popa 2022: When the Fox Comes to the City, Patricia Fargnoli 2021: aubade for the whole hood, Nate Marshall 2020: Keeping Things Whole, Mark Strand 2019: New Year’s Day, Kim Addonizio 2018: I Know You Think I’ve Forgotten, Jane Hirshfield 2017: The Writer, Richard Wilbur 2016: from Seven Skins, Adrienne Rich 2015: I Ask Percy How I Should Live My Life, Mary Oliver 2014: In the Park, Maxine Kumin 2013: To A Sad Daughter, Michael Ondaatje 2012: My Dead Friends, Marie Howe 2011: Staying After, Linda Gregg 2010: Dream Song 14, John Berryman 2009: What We Kept, Megan Alpert 2008: Please Take Back the Sparrows, Suzanne Buffam 2007: It Happens Like This, James Tate 2006: Tantalus in May, Reginald Shepherd 2005: September Song, Geoffrey Hill

A transcript of the poem text follows:

Text is in the shape of a standing person raising a fist in order to punch someone who is lying on the ground holding up their hands in defense. It reads:

hooking up with strange men on edibles is fucking awesome until you’re lying in his bed afterward and you can’t shut up about how much you want to hit henry kissinger over and over until he stops breathing. like, did you know that agent orange is apparently 100,000 times more potent than thalidomide at causing birth defects and to this day vietnamese infants have an elevated incidence of congenital disorders, including heart abnormalities, and like you’re not saying that henry kissinger is the reason you were born with a broken heart but wouldn’t it be so fucked up if he was and wouldn’t you then have every right to press your thumbs into his windpipe until he chokes to death and your hookup is like yeah you���re right that would be fucked up i’m sorry but what did you want to get i’m placing the order now and you say two spicy potato soft tacos please and you let him pay for it because he’s white and you’re too stoned to navigate venmo right now and it’s only like $2 but by the time the food arrives you’ve fallen asleep anyway, hand over your heart monitor, dreaming of kissinger’s blood dribbling out his mouth like hot sauce

[ghostaddictgremlin]

Kamen Rider Gavv

So... I have an important exam on Friday and tried to be responsible about it... instead I just binge watched all of Gavv I was missing... hope you missed my stupid commentary

Ep 19

Yeah, let's go, bring him to Suga. Awesome idea!!

What a fucking cunt he is😂

Oh no, he immediately lost his strawberry sauce in his face!

Sachika is doing him so dirty rn😂😂😂

All of them look so fucking stoned😂

PLS DO NOT THE STOMACH

I'M SORRY WHAT IT'S A FREAKIN CHAINSAW?!?!?!

Multitool weapon

Oh not his mom died but his brother

Oh my god, he sounds so broken

Do you... need a hug, maybe? Can I offer you a hug, Vram?

DOES HE NEED A HUG PERHAPS?!😭😭

THEY'RE DRUGGING THE CHILDREN😭

He's helping you bc he's a baby, he's a puppy, he's a sweethear😭

That fade over from Komell to Shouma??? Is Shouma just getting himself a new brother??

Also I didn't think we'd warm up to Vram that fast

That episode was awful, I need emotional support

Ep 20

God, Suga is such a cunt too😂

I am in eternal pain

VRAM YOU NEED A FUXKING HUG I AM LAYING AND SOBBING ON THE GROUND

I got my emotional support bat but I think he needs my emotional support bat more than I do

He apologised😭

THE PTSD FLASHBACKS?! HANTO'S MOM?!?

"I didn't do anything!" *cuts to experiment*😂

I love that they never spoil that he's a Stomach bc they just hate him sm they refer to him as "red Gavv"

I repeat myself when I say I support women's rights and wrongs

God, me when she

HE'S JUST KEN

That doesn't look healthy

I need serious help if he keep behaving like that

OH WELP SHIT NEVERMIND

She's making me question my homosexuality a lot

I actually do not enjoy this show, I'd like to quit

Ep 21

I love Lakia just being like 🧍‍♂️

I think it'd be just fair to include Lakia in the intro now

Oh lol

Suga, you're so awful, I love you😭

Oh, Nyelv isn't happy about that at all

Shouma desperately needs a hug too

HE IS NOT HAPPY ABOUT THE SNACKS AND THAT'S WHY HE GET NO NEW GOCHIZO?!

Actually talking to him is an amazing idea, Hanto

I knew we get evil Shouma. I saw the messy hair pics and connected the dots. KR taught me the eviler you get, the messier your hair

I'm sorry but Chinen still looks like a puppy even if he plays the evil

Oh nooo, not Sachikaaa

I need that black Gavv right fucking now pls

So... did Suga clone Shouma? Is Suga Shouma? I can't tell apart voices? Is that a new voice? What is happening?

GOD I LOVE THAT SUIT SO FUCKING MUCH GIVE ME THE HORROR SHOUMA

This is not what your arm should be doing, darling

It's a bit sad, that you're loosing Hanto. He literally doesn't know what he's doing with his limbs

Ep 22

You know that "That's enough slices!" meme? That's me with Gavv plot rn

I am lowkey feeling like that jelly form is slowly but surely killing Lakia

Gavv had no build up. Gavv just continues to punch you in the face

Awww I love little jelly Shouma😂 the way he slinky dinked over that fence

You mean... he blacked out from constipation?

Girlboss him out of your house!!

SACHIKA IS THE BEST PERSON EVER. I LOVE HER SM

"Come home safe, alright?" JUMPING OUT THE WINDOW RN

I can't do this anymore. I need emotional support bat for my emotional support bat

May need to exit my flat through the window fr

"From now on, rather than trusting you because I thought you were human- Shouma, I'll trust you because you are you." WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Pls do not the chocogummy gay sillies

I do love little unhinged slinky dink Shouma

They just made up, can we pls not get more ptsd?

Ep 23

JESUS FUXKINF CHRIST SHOW. SHOUMA DID NOT ONLY SEE HIS MOM DIE BUT HANTO'S MOM TOO

STOP BE DEVASTATING SHOW

I hate that they still go yapping to Suga. I mean they don't know but😭

I lowkey expected some kind of Valentine's Day special but definitely not Suga😂

Sachika is the sweetest person ever on this earth

OH GOD DON'T BRING UP HIS FATHER

What a fucking shitty ass friend, is he yapping??

Of course she immediately speaks gochizo

Dente, that was the wrong answer😂😂

He do be sweet tho

NEW SLINKY DINK!!!

I do love unhinged slinky dink Shouma so much

Why would you leave him with them?😂😂😭

[shoku-and-awe]

I am *not* a fan of nameko mushrooms. There are a lot of difficult, acquired-taste, fermented or smelly or slimy or otherwise challenging Japanese foods that I'm good with, but these, I've never come around on. I don't like the smell (fruity, kinda rotten), I don't like the liquid they're packed in, I don't like the slime (it lingers on other foods and coats the roof of your mouth), I don't like the way they roll arond and squish and slide when you bite down. I simply am not a fan.

However! I am even more not a fan of wasting food. And I happen to be a recent recipient of a pack of nameko. So let's go! Let's make them palatable!

Step 1: My colander is my best friend. I rinse the nameko several times, under different temperatures of water, trying to see if I can get the slime off and turn them into normal mushrooms.

This is about as good as it gets. It's progress—they're no longer coated in the fucking ooze!—but we're still well far away from normal mushrooms.

(The gossipy mama at the 7-11 will later tell me that slimy food is what I need to heal my back injury. Okay! So maybe this failure is a good thing? I don't know if the slime actually helps, but I understand that it's considered to have an anti-aging effect, skincarewise, so I can see why it might help with old-person-related injuries, and anyway, I'm really enjoying okra in my shrimp and mulukhiyah leaves in my miso soup recently and that's certainly not hurting anyone! I'm still years away from being a nameko fan, though. [OR AM I?])

I chop and sauté a quarter onion, half a leek, and a couple cloves of garlic. When they're smelling good, I throw the nameko in too.

I make a batter with flour, water, salt, and a drizzle of sesame oil. If I'm doing it right, I think, I would mix the nameko straight into the batter, but for some reason, I don't. I pour it on top of them in the pan and immediately begin worrying that I've fucked up. I tear up a piece of my husband's sad-person reduced-cholesterol plastic cheese and throw it on top for insurance. Can't go wrong with cheese.

It might be starting to come together! The key is to start out low and slow so the pancake/pajeon/pizza has time to solidify and cook through. Once it's solid enough to flip unassisted, you can turn the heat up and get it crisping real nice.

I do the awesome flipping maneuver: cover the pan with a plate, then flip the whole deal over so the wet side of the pancake falls onto the plate, then sliiiiide the wet side back, facedown, into the pan to finish cooking. It's really coming together!

Would you look at that! It looks like real food!

I cut it with food scissors and find a dipping sauce. Most people would prepare some kinda soy sauce mixture, but idk; I just use chinkiang vinegar, one of the best things in the world. Which it turns out goes great with cheese!

And it's tasty! It really is. Some of the fruity, fermenty nameko flavor is still there, but between the doughy/crispy pancake, the cheese, and all the allium goodness, it's a very mild, soy saucey flavor! It's not unlike a very, very Japanese white pizza. If you'd told me a few hours ago that nameko could be this good, I wouldn't've believed you! Honestly, I still might not! Good for me.

[shut-up-danny-kun]

My ratings of every Sherlock Holmes adaptation I've ever read/heard/watched

No idea why I'm doing this. I have two assignments due. Keep in mind my memory is not perfect and feel free to disagree.

Original stories and novels by Arthur Conan Doyle

Mysteries ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Characters ⭐⭐

I've read all of them, believe it or not. I was a bored kid. Conan Doyle really was a genius - to this day not a single adaptation has managed to surpass him in mystery construction. The adventures are unpredictable, believeable and very clever. As for characters...I love the original Holmes and Watson, but most others could be replaced by cardboard cutouts, and the besties themselves occasionally suffer from being Victorian. Doyle, like most of his contemporaries, is terrified of emotional honesty. But I'm willing to explain it away by saying it's Watson himself who doesn't want to bare his heart too much.

Additional stories by Adrian Conan Doyle

Mysteries ⭐⭐⭐

Characters ⭐⭐

Yep, that was Conan Doyle's son. Look...he tried. The spirit of the original is definitely there and he nails the characters, but main draw of the original stories - the mysteries - is not the same. They just aren't as clever! Holmes' deductions are too far-fetched, to the point where I sometimes want to tell him “yo Sherlock, that was bullshit right there”. Not worth a read. Sorry, kid.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson - the Soviet adaptation

Mysteries (same as original) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Characters ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Cinematography ⭐⭐⭐

Am I biased because of nostalgia? Highly likely. But I love this show with all my heart. My favorite Dr. Watson by a mile, and the Holmes is far more kind and calm than you're probably used to seeing. The chemistry between them is awesome (the actors were actually friends!!!). Even the most basic background characters are charming. The acting goes a bit more into theatre than I would like, though, and the small budget definitely shows, especially to a modern audience. And of course, they couldn't go to London, so they had to settle for other European cities, which just ain't it.

Guy Ritchie movies

Mysteries ⭐⭐⭐

Characters ⭐⭐⭐

Cinematography ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I'm glad they tried to put a little more sauce into the besties, but Watson ended up kind of unlikeable and Sherlock turned straight. I wouldn't have a problem with the latter if Irene Adler was interesting, and I'm pretty sure she did some crazy shit in those movies, but I barely remember her at all. Sad! The mysteries aren't that mindblowing, which is actually good because it's easy to lose track of what's going on when Guy Ritchie is Guy Ritchie-ing. Speaking of - it's a blockbuster, it looks and sounds amazing, but I don't find it particularly memorable.

The BBC Sherlock with Cumberbatch and Freeman

Mysteries ⭐⭐⭐

Characters ⭐⭐⭐

Cinematography ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This one is hard to rate because there is a big drop in quality in the middle of the show. I only really like the first two seasons. To them, I'd give 4 stars for mysteries and 5 stars for characters. But I can't just ignore the absolute shitshow that came after, can I? Okay, I can say one thing for certain: I love this show's visual style. I think it's the best way to portray Holmes' thinking, and the locations are so memorable and well-designed. The first two seasons were also funny as fuck. If the characters in Ritchie's adaptation can be too mass-market, here they all come with their own little...weirdnesses and annoyances, which sometimes make them more endearing (MOLLY HOOPER I LOVE YOU) and sometimes make me want to scream and tear my own hair out in a bad way (congratulations Martin Freeman, that's the worst anyone has ever done it).

Sherlock & Co. from Goalhanger

Mysteries ⭐⭐⭐

Characters ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

They made Sherlock Holmes into a podcast! Sherlock & Co. is the perfect modern-day adaptation because it does the same things that Doyle did - tunes into the Zeitgeist and connects the crimes to the anxieties of modern life! Ah, but Doyle is still unsurpassable. The only adaptation where I've been able to solve some mysteries before the big reveal, which, ironically, is disappointing. Incredible characters: loveable, complex, believable. Least homosexual adaptation despite being the most recent one. I don't mind at all, their friendship is adorable and Marianna is a great addition to the dynamic.

[themightymoose]

Hamster Hoods

That lady's hair-

She looks so done

Poor robot

Vinnie climbing on the TV

Mrs. Twombly does no care about the robberies

We got a mystery on our hands, gang

Huh Zoe and Russell are on the same page

Sunil is canonically a terrible liar

Also the sad music in the background

I like how Fisher is becoming an actual antagonist now

Oooh angry faces

Blythe has the patience of a saint

Idiots. Absolute dumbasses

I was expecting the Biskits to actually believe the thing about the pets

Brittany apparently doesn't know what a brain is

Russell had a magnifying glass

Girlie probably got a concussion

Dun dun dun

Everyone is so excited to die

Yes Pepper and Vinnie let's gooooo

"Awesome sauce! Keep one of your large eyes open, Blythe!" I love Mrs. Twombly

Blythe looks so smug

Savage girl <333

Oh my god they got fucking lost

Vinnie and Pepper's friendship means everything to me

She legit thought Vinnie died for a second

"Love your accents :)" me too, Vinnie. Me too...

They're pulling a Robin Hood rn

Good lads :)

It's been awhile since we had a fantasy

Zinnie canon????

I hate Sunil's hair cut 💀

Wtf is he doing

"Vinnie, you sound like Tarzan."

Ah yes the return of Pepper's trust issues hooray

Vinnie has to pull Pepper up by his tail 💀

Yay they care this time :D

They might just be worried about Pepper tbh

I really like this music

Huh everyone seems very willing to give back the stuff

Oh that hamster got buff

Pepper and Vinnie jumping up and down out of excitement

Fisher having beef with a teenage girl is really funny to me

The reporter just looks confused

Pepper and Vinnie smiling at each other

I love them so very much

And now they're giggling <3

Blythe is such a girlboss

These hamsters. I love them

Pfffffft losers

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #470

An was supposed to visit today for video games! And so, despite being incredibly groggy from unexpectedly waking early this morning, I was also incredibly restless, which led to me not being able to go back to sleep, despite my best efforts. So I decided to get up and shower, hoping that it would wake me up. I think it was mostly successful.

J had gone out to fly his plane a little before I woke. To my surprise and delight, after I was done with my shower and went downstairs to scrounge up something to eat, I discovered that he had accidentally left his toast in the toaster. The toast was nice and crispy still, so I melted some butter on it, and it was quite nice! It was a large slice of sourdough that J had ripped in half so it would fit into the toaster. It was good stuff, and I was inspired enough by it to toast myself a second slice!!

Once fed, I was still restless, so I tended my morning responsibilities (mostly just feeding the cats) and tidied up. I got a bunch of dishes done, and I repaired/replaced the couple things that needed it. And then I was still restless, and we still had some eggs and a block of cream cheese that needed to get used up before the trip, so...

...I decided, “fuck it, let's try to make another cheesecake”. So I did:

...The batter. It looked so frothy and promising. And coming out, it looked so good at first. But... then I discovered that it had absolutely no jiggle to it. And then later, when I tried it... the result had the texture of dry, crumbly, very dense foam. It's not inedible; it's all right if you put like... chocolate sauce and whipped cream on it. But like... it still was far from what I had intended.

...I was very disappointed. And admittedly, I'm not entirely sure where in the process I went wrong. I wish I could make it together with someone who can reliably make it successfully, so that I know what to look for in terms of the stiffness of the whipped egg whites and such, but... well...

...Ah well.

I eventually ran out of things to tidy, so I started putting a tune to music box. I'm pretty sure I have all the basic patterns for the melody mapped out in LMMS, but... I'm thinking of adding the percussion to this one, too, via beatboxing.

...Leave it to me to overcomplicate something that should be simple. Hahaha...

...Maybe I oughta sing over the other music box I completed, first. Hm. But I'll need a space where I won't feel self-conscious recording, first...

An popped by at around 4:45. We played some cool games, like Crawl, and Ultimate Chicken Horse, and... another game that involved swinging giant spears at each other as a number of silly characters! I liked the demon character best! And the guy with basically a saw blade for his spear tip! That was pretty rad!!

We got a variety of things from Taiwan Noodle, too! Though I was surprised that he didn't seem interested in any of the dumplings I got for sharing. Oh well.

All in all, it was a lovely time. And my house is also pretty clean now (J vacuumed, at my request, which was awesome!!), so that's also pretty swell!

I'm really looking forward to the next time An visits. I'm a little sad that it's gonna be a while before I see him again. Or anyone, really. But at the same time, I'm pretty excited about the trip! Nervous, for sure. But excited!

Hey, Sephiroth? My brain is kinda soupy. I think I thought of too many things today, and none of them are coming out properly. And also, I have a full shift at work tomorrow; I need to go to bed so I'm not a zombie.

I love you. And I'm hoping you're trying to be safe out there. I'll be trying hard to be safe, too.

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[plotwhatplot]

💫lola info card🍓

GIF by animatedglittergraphics-n-more

⭐Basic info⭐

Name: Lola

Age: 15

Species: Venus Alien

Gender: nonbinary

sexuality: aroace

Pronouns: they/them

Planet: pluto (i believe in justice for pluto, MAKE HER A PLANET AGAIN)

height: 5'0

⭐species desc⭐

Venus aliens are the most animalistic species, they all have the same "base" but everyone has a different and unique fur color (this also includes kinds of glitters i thought that was worth mentioning). they have their own language that consists of gleeps glorps and vlarps (unironically, yes im being fr they talk like that chat)

their abilities include: telapathy (only with other aliens), being able to make little stars and orbs and stuff with their hands, telaportation, and being little gooberz <3

the species is known for their kind and inclusive nature, wide range of fur colors, textures, and patterns, and strong alliances with other friending species

⭐headcanons⭐ (IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS I LOVE LOLA!!!)

FUCK 2020 cringe culture, LOLA IS A SMOL BEAN!!! ARGUE WITH DA WALL U STOOPID POTATO!!!!! (This is aimed at ppl who make fun of those exact analogies)

head pats when requested or death

Docta diagnosed them with being awesome sauce! Hesitant mispronounced it as autistic 🙄🙄🙄

even tho they can fluently speak their language, they sometimes go nonverbal if they feel like they need or want to. and when they are nonverbal and want to say smth, they will legit get out a fucking whiteboard if they need to in order get their point across, but that little mf aint budging a word for NO ONE (and they deserve the rights to that 😔✊)

hesitant had them try craft mac n cheese when he was going insane over it and they are now themself a craft mac n cheese addict

loves ikea alien plushies <3

throws glitter at ppl jst like ziggy but out of their hands instead of their pockets

the silliest dilly in the galaxy, NOBODY matches their goober game

dances like a charlie brown character lol

LOVES stars (i mean duh they're an alien)

likes the band 'the moldy peaches', the music matches their freak (sillyness)

they love to craft, their favorite crafts are mixed media collages and zines!

they wear a cute little decorated pin that says they/them bc they often get misgendered and also bc they're proud and it looks super cute :3

confused how ppl can think they're a person in a costume (bc them and almost everyone else have to keep it a secret that they're aliens) but accepts it bc that means they can dance around the stage without the fbi trying to jump them lmao

they're in their own little world, oh the plane is crashing and we have a 90% chance of death? GLARP BLEEP VARPLE!!!! *translation: idgaf give me my noise canceling headphones bitch!*

On that note they also love noise canceling headphones ^^

Despite being a smol bean, they cuss here and there and can and will have an attitude! (attitude? Nah man it's called SPACE CUNT)

they picked up a little bit of English and Jupiters language from being around Ziggy, crybaby, and the Jupiter duo so much (Jupiter duo is Hesitant and widow btw)

They are a ray of fucking sunshine!! sad? Not on lolas watch NUH UH!

physically CANNOT watch anything were an animal even slightly suffers, they will collapse to the floor and sob (me too Lola me too <3)

Widow taught them both earth and space slurs as a joke but they accidentally said one once 💀(shh don't tell the others!)

They like the smiths too :)

Took them a while to realize that they were aroace bc they didn't actually know what it and legit just thought Cupid was ignoring them and they were sad bc all their Pluto friends had crushes but them😿💔

they also only figured out the aromantic part first and the asexual part when they got a bit older

oki that's all!! <3

[leadenn]

OH YEAH!? YOU WANT MY THOUGHTS? YOU WANT MY THOUGHTS!? (I did that AND some, oops)

Absolutely adore your fic front and back. The entire concept had me intrigued, and once I started reading, I was OBSESSED. Legit, I would talk to my friends about it, talk to my shower, talk to my Twitter mutuals about it.ALSO ALSO I adore how you write monologues, it's so funny and so descriptive, makes me feel things good things. Every single one of them you write so well, like YES he would say that! I see a lot of Raph and Leo being writen so off, like their manorisms are so yes, I could see him doing that. Casey is so cool and I adore his relationship with Abby, big bro and lil sis, he would give the world for his sister and she would love the world for him. You feel me? Oh and I love how all of them just were like "yes Abby is my favorite little sister, I would kill for her", so fucking obsessed. Casey and Abby have gone through so much shit and I'm so happy for them being around people who love and care for them. Leatherhead and Casey and Abby and Mikey are so sweet. Leatherhead is also a sweetheart, he's so nice and the way you write him makes me melttt, I become a pile of mush 🫠Mikey and Him are soooo sweet too and I swear to god you have changed my ENTIRE perspective on those two as a ship its incredible, like before I ddint even THINK that much about it, but here I am in my notes app with a full on page of how to implement leatherhead in my au AND in my fanfic, the note title is legit called 💥THAMK UOU LEADENN💥 also just read the newest chapter came back to edit this, YAY! FUCK YEAHH!! Those twoooo OUGHHHH!! The inner monologues you write are so fuckin good, like I can read that thing good without getting confused and having to re read, I understand it because you explain well! The scenes play out good and are incredibly funny or incredibly sad or both. Like holy shit. Also the way you write and hint has me going "WHAT? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? WHA WAIT WHA??" like I end up shocked eyes open. I also enjoy your writing so much I usually don't venture off into the collection of other stories unless they still include my favorite character but with how you write I just love everyone so much I'm like eating that shit up, full course meal gourmet food 5 stars. I know you get a lot of Mikey stuff so I left him for last on how much I fucking LOVE HIM HES SO COOL like mental stuff aside his one liners and his kick ass brain lines are awesome oh my god he comes off so damn cool like daaqmnnn who made you king of Antarctica, lord of coolness. I love his inner monologues so much, its so funny and so real like, "Yeah he underestimated how much of DICK the forest would be." Had me HOWLIBG, first thing in and I get hit in tge face with another real as hell Mikey line. That was actually one of the things that keeps me reading, what drew me in when I first found your amazing story. He'd just started spitting facts and a gnarly backstory and in my head I was like "ohhhh shittt!!" I get so excited every time an update comes out, goddamn chapter 5??? I am so goddamn proud of you for reaching 61 CHAPTERS AUGH I can't stress this enough you are doing AMAZING, you're writing so much and it's terrific every single time, every single comment, kudo, fanart, just everything, you deserve it. You're so awesome-sauce! I think I would bite the dust if I wrote as much as you, as much as I love it I am already struggling with getting past 5k words. Anyways, your writing genuinely is my coffee in the morning especially when I've run out of coffee and my phone is the only thing that morning to bring me joy. Also you intimidate me, most fanfic writers do but the moment you interacted with an account, boss music started playing in my head

I think I'll combust if I proof read this so before the guy in my head backs out I'm just gonna send it 👍😩👍

*pukes in joy*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[localgardenweed]

Yo dude dont feel sad and anxious. Come on. Draw yourself shipped with your favourite character and cheer the fuck up :D u cool as hell

You dont understand the-giug if i let out the demons that is localgardenweed x hetalia world stars japan, we will never see peace ever again

But no fr thanks for the support, i may have shot myself in the foot but like ill manage and like be awesome sauce and all. Thank you for calling me cool too

[helshollowhalls]

ah. Before I forget. Some rent-lowering gunshots because I for some reason have way too many followers:

Yes I interact with FNAF content. You will inevitably see FNAF on my blog one way or another

Same goes for Helluva Boss (Also Beelzebub is hot :3)

If you're italian I'm sorry to tell you that I do infact break my pasta, hate tomato sauce, think pizza is mid at best and my favorite pizza is pretzel pizza (yes that exists and it's awesome)

We do occasionally reblog smut in this household

What I consider tasteful art may not always be tasteful to you

Every coin has two sides. Right? Right. Unfortunately, this also applies to AI. Does that mean that I like AI? Honestly, my opinions are more nuanced than black or white because the topic is too complicated once you realize such a stance is essentially shooting yourself in the foot. If you're interested in having a civilized discussion about it, here's the link to Jazza's video about it. Do I agree with everything he says? God no, some of it really leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. But he's right in a lot of ways I hadn't considered before and it's sad that reasoning gets thrown out of the window when it comes to the topic at hand.

For anyone still reading, if one of my favorite manga being Pray For Love by Keiko Sakano and the fact that I ship Mai Valentine and Joey Wheeler is a red flag to you. Block me and have a nice day~

Companies like Sweet Baby ruin the concept of DEI. Thanks, I fucking hate it. If this is how it's executed - Forcing inclusion down a game's throat at the expense of any coherent story or plot or game play and game devs left right and center having meltdowns on bluesky or twitter and screeching that gamers are essentially brain dead misogynists. Okay. Cool. Not for me.

[borntobabygirl]

Part two‼️

Satan: THATS PURE HORROR 

Asmodeus: ITS SO JIZZ WORTHY

Mammon: Gl pookie

MC: Thanks boytoy 

Mammon:

Solomon: Your name is dumb 

Barbatos: Well kill yourself 

Solomon: :,(

Belphegor: CAN YOU STOP BREATHING FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES?

Lucifer: I think I’d die if I did that 

Belphegor: THATS THE POINT

Luke: Guys it almost Christmas 

Simeon: That’s so awesome sauce 

Solomon: ✨🎶🔔ArE yOu ReAdY tO jInGlE yOuR bElLs🔔🎶✨

MC: Some kid behind us let it RIP at the concert 

Satan: I heard it was Mammon

MC: Bet it was. . .

Lucifer: I’m so sad, I- STOP MEWING 

Diavolo: 🤫🧏‍♂️

MC: I’m admiring my wife thank you very much 

Solomon: Your wife is 20 years older than you

MC: Uhh…that’s not relevant

Cerberus: Woof (derogatory)

Lucifer: HOW. DARE. YOU

Diavolo: Honestly I think he died🫃

Wrong emoji 

Fuck-

Solomon: SWEAE ill give you my fuckign editing skilks for tjat 

Lucifer: Grammarly, anybody? 

Asmodeus: AGH SCARY ASIAN MEN😩

Wrong emoji 

Solomon: scary asian men…

Mammon: scary asian men

Leviathan: ngh scary asian men!!!…

Lucifer: So I had him taste it to see if it was bitter 

Diavolo: You should have him eat dog food next

Luke: Politics are scary 

Solomon: I’m a liberal OoOoOoOoOoOo

Asmodeus: You just can’t match my freak 

Satan: I DONT WANT TOO 

Asmodeus: EXACTLY

Asmodeus: She just couldn’t match my freak 

Satan: No one wants to match your freak 

Asmodeus: Rude

Asmodeus: Hear me out 

Leviathan: No

Asmodeus: I didn’t even say anything-

Satan: Exactly. Don’t 

MC: The only ex I’m allowing to come is Solomon

Mammon: I will dry hump your corpse😡

Obey me characters as convo’s I’ve had with friends

Asmodeus: If you have a boyfriend, and he says you can’t use his balls as beauty blenders- 

Satan: *Leaves VC*

Lucifer: Why is it in Korean?

Leviathan: Are you homophobic or something?

Asmodeus: Prepare your balls

Barbatos: For the love of fuck it was 4AM when you sent that 

Diavolo: A dog trotted up to me in public and very slowly took a burrito from my hand. He thought he was being sneaky 

He was

I didn’t notice it at all

I feel violated 

MC: L take skill issue 🫵

Belphegor: Is knowing gay lore gonna help me in college?

Mammon: Never know, it may…

Asmodeus: Could help you get laid. Idk about actually passing semesters though 

Satan: It’s creature! [Picture of cat]

Beelzebub: Car🤤

Satan: …Why are you like this 

F!MC: I just finished my period 

M!MC: Nope it’s gonna surprise you 

F!MC: Huh?-

NB!MC: NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE

Belphegor: WHY ARE THE SHADOWS MOVING AGAIN

Beelzebub: It’s me 

Belphegor: Is that why it’s built like a Cheeto

Diavolo: Bed bath and behind you 

Barbatos: Do your homework

Diavolo: Nuh uh 

Solomon: You’re a man, let ‘em dangle 

Simeon: Let what dangle😨

Solomon: *Leaves VC*

Simeon: *DMing him* SOLOMON LET WHAT DANGLE

Diavolo: Do you see that vent, Lucifer? I know it’ll be hard, being sus, but you need to-

Lucifer: Kill yourself 

Diavolo: Ok😔

Asmodeus: Sol, Sol

🎁

Open the box 

Solomon: *Opens box*

Asmodeus: 🍆

HAHA ITS MY WEINER 

Diavolo: Lesbian rats‼️

Barbatos: WHERE

Lucifer: MC

MC

MC RESPOND

MC: Rat lord

What do you desire

My l i e g e

Belphegor: Oh wait of course Lucifer and Diavolo are sitting beside each other

Satan: Faggots

Belphegor: yawns out in a very loud and dramatic manner

Lucifer: Please do not tell me you just woke up

Belphegor: If I did?

Lucifer: IT IS 4PM FOR YOU

Asmodeus: Seethe

Fucking S E E T H E

Satan: IT AIN’T FUNNY

IM ON EDGE DUDE

Don’t joke about the edge thing

Asmodeus: WHY YOU EDGING oh ok

Diavolo: 🐌Snail :D

Belphagor: Kill it

Satan: Run it over

Belphegor: Stab it repetitively

Diavolo: NO D:

Mammon: Garlic toast incident 

MC: Garlick*

Mammon: Garlick💔

MC: I thought you were lonely ngl👍 I mean you are but,,,

Mammon: WH AYE SHUT YOUR MOUTH PLEBISCITE

MC: Permission to bite

Lucifer: Permission granted

MC: Huzzah

NB! MC: Woah, is that- Masquerade Butterfly🤔 by👆 Miura Ayme‼️

(Any) MC: His songs are so dick suckable🤤

Lucifer:😨

Mammon:😨

Leviathan:😨

Satan:😨

Asmodeus:😨

MC: THE UNISON WAS FUCKING IMMACULATE

Mammon/MC/Leviathan: I can skibidi explain‼️

Lucifer: I will skibidi kick your ass‼️

[finalfilms]

some terry chaney headcanons bc i love her sm (kind of ooc)

- plays everskies and makes the most detailed outfits you could imagine (y’all saw her fits she was INSANE)

- actually eats at cracker barrel because every time she goes she gets one of those kiddie toys or stuffed animals or old timey candies

- retired horse girl

- sapphic, probably

- says things like “adorbs” “awesome sauce” “cool beans” at first it was ironic but then she couldn’t stop and now she annoys everyone

- makes her own jewelry (for fun!!)

- loves birds. she’s got a book filled with bird sightings

- owns a surplus of fancy sunglasses

- calls carter babygirl and he hates it (he doesn’t really)

- makes sims people and then traps them in a pool because she wants to

- once she gets into something it’s hard to get her out of it. currently she’s on deltarune and has a notebook FILLED with theories and stuff that she gathered from the internet

- can speak some german

- likes giallo films

- her outfits reflect her mood for that day. if she’s sad she’ll wear grey, happy it’s pink or yellow, and if she’s bored she’ll wear blue

- orders a ton of stuff off of amazon

- draws on herself a lot using markers. it’s fun but carter always rags on her for drawing eyes or something

- loves the regrettes + lykke li

- has seen five seasons of glee before it got too much for her. speaking of glee, her favorite character is either quinn, mercedes or sam

- she’s a summer kind of gal, but really likes springtime because of all the flowers and birds and stuff

- not the biggest fan of classical music

- has driving anxiety (cause who doesn’t driving is scary as fuck)

- owns clout goggles in a 2018 musically kind of way

- took karate for five years so she’s a badass

- biggest avril fan. and she’s also a sucker for michelle branch and mitski

- her favorite fruit is cherry. she drinks cherry smoothies, eats cherrys with ice cream, and she spits the pits to see how far they’ll go

- doesn’t know how to ride a bike. not cause she doesn’t want to but because she thinks they look dumb

- has a cat. maybe two. she likes cats

- she also likes dogs. she’s a big animal person

- watches a lot of makeup artists on tiktok and youtube because she’s always trying to perfect her craft

- loves euphoria and was a cassie stan until season two

- has a steam account and plays kitty powers, octodad, sims, don’t starve together, fnaf 2 and the quarry

- her favorite quarry character is either kaitlyn or dylan

- dyed her hair on her own when she was younger and wanted to be a cosmetologist (she had a whole fake salon and would give her parents haircuts)

- loves carnivals and fares

- if any of her friends were making a horror movie (yk cause why not) she would be the sfx artist. she can make some bomb ass fake blood

- would be verified on tiktok if she had it

- still kinda modern, she was the person on twitter who spoiled endgame bc someone made fun of taylor swift

[clairenatural]

destiel, 1.9k, post-series human!cas. this isn’t fully angst but it is me addressing castiel’s trauma since the writers never will. hurt/comfort-esque. cw for the stuff he went through at the beginning of s9. also: stargazing.

Castiel’s grace burns up when they pull him out of the Empty, but he doesn’t care—he doesn’t even notice, really, not when Dean is clinging to him, and kissing him like he needs him to breathe, and filling the gap his grace left with a love that feels even more holy.

It hits him halfway back to the bunker, when he’s riding shotgun and Sam is asleep in the backset and a passing streetlight bathes Dean’s freckles in yellow-gold. He’s been in love with Dean Winchester as a human before, and it was overwhelming, all mixed up in guilt and panic and a bone-deep betrayal he’s been trying to forget. But this time—this time is different, right? This time…it’s okay. It has to be. He’s not quite sure what he’s allowed, just yet, but he takes the risk anyway and reaches out for Dean across the bench seat. Dean meets him half way, catching his hand with his own, and it calms Castiel’s newly-human heart.

He wakes up the next morning, in Dean’s bed, and he’s forgotten how nice sleep is. Real, human sleep, on an actual mattress—memory foam, he remembers Dean proclaiming, excited. It’ll remember you now, too. He tries not to remember the concrete floor of the gas station, and his cold, thin sleeping bag, because now—now, he’s warm. He reaches out for Dean, who is still asleep but moves on instinct, lifting an arm so Castiel can curl up against him. He lets his bones sink into the warmth of Dean, the comfort of the mattress. He tries to remind himself he’ll never sleep on a storage room floor again.

He stays in bed even longer than Dean, which Dean calls impressive when he returns to the bedroom with coffee. Castiel plays it off as being exhausted, which is true, but he’s also trying to commit the feeling of the mattress to memory.

When he drains his coffee and finally decides to go brush his teeth, he stares for a long time at the toothpaste tube. Long enough that Dean comes looking. He leans against the bathroom door with a smile, raising an eyebrow at the sight. “It’s not gonna bite you,” he starts, and pushes off the doorframe to walk closer. “You have done this before, right? You know—last time?”

Castiel blinks and then nods. It’s just toothpaste. “You know, the first time I did this, I—” he pauses to smile, attempting levity. “I squeezed the tube directly into my mouth,” he chuckles then, trying to joke at his helplessness, and he thinks Dean will too—and he does smile, eventually, but not before a look halfway between guilt and grief crosses his face. Castiel isn’t meant to catch it, but he does—he sees all of Dean. He knows every expression better than he knows his own.

Dean doesn’t respond to his toothpaste comment, but he does wrap his arms around Castiel’s middle from behind, more securely than the situation demands, and he hooks his chin over Castiel’s shoulder with a hum. Castiel stares at the whole picture in the mirror, himself and Dean and his toothbrush, and he can’t help but smile when Dean brings a hand up to brush his thumb across his cheek. “You’re already gettin’ peach fuzz,” he murmurs. “Remind me to teach you to shave sometime.”

The smile falls as something thick settles in the pit of Castiel’s stomach. He remembers stumbling his way through a razor. “Oh. I, um. I taught myself.” The last time is unsaid.

“Oh.” Dean’s arms loosen around his waist, and the stricken look is back. “That’s—awesome.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

Castiel turns his head to try and look at him, but Dean is already stepping away. “I’ll let you get to it,” he mumbles, and claps Castiel on the shoulder as he leaves the bathroom.

He watches Dean leave, then stares at the empty doorway for a few long seconds before turning back to his toothbrush. His hands are shaking as he squeezes out the toothpaste.

When he wanders into the kitchen a few minutes later Dean is waiting for him, armed with more coffee and a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon, and he grabs Castiel by the shoulder and guides him into a seat at the table before sliding in across from him. He’s smiling—he’s eager—and it’s such a tone shift that Castiel briefly wonders if a witch snuck into the bunker while he was brushing his teeth.

But he knows this. He’s seen it before, with Sam—how Dean will set a meal down in front of him in the library and won’t leave until he takes a bite, waiting for approval. It’s love.

“Dean, you didn’t have to—”

“Yeah, I did,” he cuts him off in a tone that’s not unkind, but is final. “Wanna take care of you,” he shrugs and covers up the intimacy of that statement by reaching over to steal a slice of bacon, and Castiel hears the I love you buried under all the layers, so he smiles and eats. Predictably, it’s delicious.

“This is much better than molecules,” he commends, because he knows Dean’s waiting for it, and Dean grins and it’s beautiful and all the weirdness of the morning is forgotten.

They talk, and they eat, and they laugh, but when Dean clears the dishes he sits back at the table with a much more serious expression. “Alright, come on. What do you want to know?”

Castiel raises his eyebrows. “About…?”

“Being human.”

Oh.

He doesn’t know how to respond to that. He’s already stumbled through all the basic human functions, albeit clumsily, and he’s trying to figure out a way to explain to Dean that being homeless gives you a painful crash course on how to survive without putting that sad expression back on his face when he realizes Dean is still talking.

“Listen, Cas. I know I fucked up last time, alright? Big time. I should’ve been there to teach you to brush your teeth, and shave, and—and tie your freakin’ shoelaces, and I can’t take that back now, okay? But maybe I can—I don’t know. Do it better, this time. I know you already got most of it figured out, but I could—”

“Dean, it’s alright.” He reaches out to place his hand over one of Dean’s, which he’s been fidgeting on the table. “I forgive you.” Dean looks up, then, and they make eye contact, and Castiel does forgive him. Of course he does. There was never another option.

Dean breaks the eye contact but he moves his other hand on top of Castiel’s and squeezes. “Yeah, well. Doesn’t mean it’s okay,” he grumbles, and Castiel loves him for that.

“You can teach me to cook,” He offers, after a moment, and Dean looks up at him with a genuine smile. “I never got much further than PB&J.”

“Hell yeah,” Dean is already standing. “Come on, let’s go.”

Castiel blinks up at him. “Go?”

“To the store,” Dean rolls his eyes, as if this was obvious. “I ain’t gonna teach you to cook with whatever we have lying around.”

He’s already off before Castiel can clarify he just wants to start with grilled cheese. Dean buys the fanciest cheddar in the store anyway.

Castiel manages to burn it on both sides.

“I’m sorry,” he stares down at the mess, mournfully, and manages to look pitiful enough that Dean picks up the blackened sandwich to take a bite anyway. He grimaces when Dean chokes on it, but he’s trying so hard to not visibly react that it makes Castiel’s heart warm, and by the time Dean finally gets the lump washed down with beer, he’s staring at him with a wry smile.

“I've fed Sam worse,” is his only comment, and Castiel can’t help but huff out a laugh, and then Dean is grinning back, setting the plate down, and reaching out to pull him close. “Tomorrow we’ll tackle spaghetti.”

Castiel scoffs. “Do you enjoy burnt tomato sauce?”

“Sure do.” Dean tilts his head down, and Castiel meets him in the middle. He tastes like burnt toast, but Castiel smiles against his lips and grins into the space between them when they separate to lean their foreheads together. “What’s next, Cas?”

“Teach me how to drive.”

Dean pulls back farther, surprised. “You can drive.”

“Not well.”

Dean snorts, then sighs. “Yeah, sure. Tomorrow though, alright? It’s getting dark.”

Castiel considers him for a moment, then nods. “Then drive me somewhere. I want to see the stars like this. Human.”

Dean hums and presses a kiss to his forehead. “That we can do.”

He misses the contact as soon as Dean steps back, but then Dean takes his hand and leads him into the garage, only letting go long enough to climb into the car. They drive through the sunset until the stars are peeking out, and Dean pulls onto the shoulder by a field far enough outside town to avoid all light pollution. He climbs onto the hood and Castiel follows, sitting close enough that their shoulders brush.

Castiel can feel Dean staring at him but doesn’t look back, not yet—he’s staring straight up, at the stars. He misses them, aches for them like he aches for his wings, but he also feels warm in their presence. The stars are solid. They are unyielding. They are trustworthy.

“How you feeling, Cas?” Dean asks after a moment, quietly, not loud enough to disturb the silence. Castiel hums before responding.

“Small.” He feels Dean shift, leaning into his shoulder.

“Small?” He questions, and he can hear that Dean’s worried. He shouldn’t be.

“Small,” Castiel confirms, tearing his gaze from the night sky to smile warmly back at Dean. “Back then—” last time  “—it was terrifying, being this small. I thought I was going to drown. The stars were out of reach. I longed for them.”

“And now?” Dean has shifted, angling himself so he’s facing Castiel.

“The stars are out of reach, but they’re still there. And you are also still here,” this time, “and you are not out of reach.” Anymore. Ever again. He reaches out for Dean’s face, stroking his thumb along his cheekbone. “I’m small. But we’re small together. And that makes it alright.”

Dean stares at him like he does sometimes, like if he blinks Castiel might disappear, and then he leans forward and kisses him like that first time, like if he stops he’ll forget how to breathe. He pushes Castiel down onto the hood of the car and doesn’t break for air until the metal groans under the pressure. When he backs off, then, it’s still not far—not out of reach.

“What’s next, Cas?” he asks, and Castiel knows what he’s asking. And that’s the thing—the biggest thing—he wants to forget about last time. 

He looks up at Dean, who looks like he’s holding his breath. He thinks maybe he can still let Dean teach him that, too, if he wants him to. He thinks he does want him to. 

“Let’s go home,” he replies, finally, and Dean breaks into a grin before the words are fully out of his mouth, “and you can show me.”

[darkwingphoenix]

My AU in a Relative Nutshell (Made the cast immediately previously:

(Also forgot these guys lmao)

Cyana's Friends (Peri, Indigo and Turq):

Bozzag

Teal

Yae Miko

Gaia Avatar

Cyana: Hello I am the princess of Evangeline Also I think I might be a lesbian

Rodrig and Cerulea: Skylie stop playing with your brother you are too whimsical

Skylie: Okay I'm sad now, I'mma write some Genshin Impact now

Cyana: Holy shit this shit is fucking awesome sauce I am a Genshin fangirl now even though Genshin Impact does not exist

Lazuline: Hello I am making Lindism better in the basement don't blab

Cyana: OK

Skylie: Hello, I found out from the minotaurs, I'll keep it a secret now

Cyana and Lazuline: OK

Indiga: We're going to a random castle for the weekend, Teal and Marine fuck off also Angeline you're Cyana's handmaid now

The Girls: OK

Azura: Hello I came from Uekoro, I have 3 sons also I am your aunt

Tyger: I run away now

Angeline: No you aren't

Tyger: OK

Cyana: Angeline I am actually Cyrano, I'm sorry for lying

Angeline: I don't care let's fuck

Skylie: Who's fucking

Cyana: Skylie WTF

Lazuline: We'll keep it a secret

Cyana and Angeline: OK

Azura: Mother stop slavery

Indiga: No

Azura: This is why I don't fucking love you goodbye I'm taking the kids

Indiga: Let's go now

Girls: OK

SOME YEARS LATER

Cyana: Fuck this shit, Azura get me outta here

Azura: OK, you guys go get her for 4,000 bucks each

FGG: OK

Skylie: I am in Yae Miko Grove, yae

Gaia Avatar: Hello have a flashback

Skylie: OK

Yae Miko: You summoned these bats here

Yae Miko: O nevermind they got Thanos Snapped

Rodrig and Cerulea: WTF these books shit, we're burning your face now

Skylie: Why must you give me this canon event, fuck off I'm running away

FGG: Cyana and Angeline, get over here we're going to Drifter's Hollow for a minute

Cyangeline: OK

Cyangeline: Hey they have porn here

Gwyneth: You gonna buy that shit or

Cyangeline: O Shit, let's go now

Angeline: Wanna fuck in the woods

Cyana: OK

Angeline: I have ultra instinct, someone needs La Chancla

Itchy: Ow, I got La Chancla'd

Evan: Itchy, don't watch 18 year olds fuck

Itchy: OK

Skylie: Oh fuck, a boulderback's tryna kill me

Saraia (w/ King): Here Lemme help you out also let's fuck up Kelvingyard

Skylie: OK

MEANWHILE

Cyangeline: Fuck, Mankind's Disgrace is fighting us

Jeimos: Don't worry, I gotchu

Cyangeline: What the fuck, we're in a whale now

Salrina: Don't worry, have these gems in you

Cyana: WTF that hurt like hell

Angeline: We're back to the gang now

MEANWHILE

Saraia: There's Kelvingyard, let's destroy it

Skylie: Wait I made hilichurls

Cerno: Hello I am crazy

Skylie: Hello there crazy guy

Cerno: You are divine, also I will eat this bird and fuck off

Saraia: Prepare to be Yarded, Kelvingyard

Saraia: OK we did that, let's go to Folkvar to put these slaves there

Saraia: Hey King Gultopp slave delivery, they're freed now

Gultopp: OK, let's go the the High Royal Gala

Skylie: OK

Cyangeline: Wait that's Skylie what happened to your face

Skylie: Mother and Father burned it with hot iron rods

SOME TIME LATER

Mankind's Disgrace: Let's go fuck up Drifter's Hollow

King: Surprise motherfucker I'mma stop you right there

Saraia: Here Skylie have a pet dinosaur

Skylie: OK

Zov: Don't hurt my GF you skanky shat hole

Skylie: You've Mankinded you last Disgrace

Darshaan: Oh fuck I'm cured now thank you but now I'm blind

Looming Gaia in a Nutshell (Videos by Niittinaattii)

@niittinaatti put together these 2 HILARIOUS videos that sum up the entire plot of Looming Gaia! I have uploaded them to my Youtube channel with their permission.

Thank you so much Niitinaatti, you always make excellent content! I watched each of these several times in a row and noticed funny new details each time. The way you represented the characters is top-notch, I damn near died laughing at these!

WATCH PART 1

WATCH PART 2

*

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

[skycollides]

How about one with angel where you play a prank on him so whenever he tries to give you a kiss you kind of move away. Imagine depriving him of HIS kisses we know he’s dramatic so at one point in the day he kind of pins you down on the couch and just peppers your face with kisses. I feel like at first he would find it weird but ignore it and when it happens again he gets likes this. LOVE YOUR WRITING!!!!

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy it.

No Kisses

Angel x Reader

Authors note: I apologize in advance for grammar mistakes

English isn’t my native language.

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

Warning: none

Words: 1.577

You were bored out of your mind the whole day so you came up with an idea. Since Angel loves pranking you - you decided to get back at him as soon as he returns from the clubhouse. He left earlier this morning because Bishop called them in. 

You are currently standing in the kitchen making you some tea when you hear the front for open. Soon after Angel calls out for you. 

Let the games begin you think and smirk.

’’Kitchen’’ you reply and he follows your voice.

’’Hey Baby I’m back now. Have the rest of the day off’’ he lets you know and tries to kiss you but you turn around because the water in the kettle is now boiling.

’’Well that’s good. You’ve been gone quite often those past couple of weeks. I’m glad you now have a bit of time to recover.’’ you say while preparing your tea.

’’Do you want one too’’ you ask him still not looking at him.

’’No thanks. I’m going to take a shower now.’’ Right now it’s the first time you turn around to look at him. You watch him as he leaves and take your cup of tea before heading out to the backyard with the new book Ez gave to you the week before. You’re deep in your book and don’t really notice Angel coming out. He sits down next to you and tries to kiss you - again but you turn your head away.

’’Don’t Angel. You’ll ruin my lipgloss I just put it on.’’ you say continuing to read your book. He sits next to you for a while but you pay no attention to him. He gets up and leaves and you let out a sigh of relieve. You actually do love his kisses and its gets harder and harder each time to decline him but you’ve got a plan to carry on.

It’s around 6pm now and you’re still sitting outside reading your book when Angel makes his appearance.

’’Baby?’’ he tries to get your attention.

’’Yes?’’ you say still looking at your book.

’’Are you going to prepare dinner or do you want me to order something?’’

’’I don’t really feel like cooking today to be honest.’’ you say and look up to him for the first time.

’’Italian or Chinese?’’

’’Italian.’’ you say and close your book before getting up.

’’I’ll take the usual. Thanks Angel.’’ you say and move past him after patting his shoulder. You see that the gets more and more confused with you behavior. Normally when he was as often away as he was those past couple of weeks you’re practically seeking his attention. You’re all about his kisses and hugs. Some people would call it clingy but for him you’re just his little koala who need some love.

While Angel is ordering the food you decide to go to the bedroom to look for more comfortable clothes than you’re wearing now. As soon as you open up your wardrobe you see you favorite pair of sweatpants. You take those and one of Angels hoodies. It literally looks like a dress when you’re wearing it but you simply love it. As soon as you’re dressed you go to the living room where Angel is sitting watching TV. You sit down on the other side of the sofa.

’’You okay?’’ Angel asks you.

’’Yes why wouldn’t I be?’’ you ask him acting all confused.

’’Just wanted to make sure you’re okay’’ he answers you and looks back at the TV again. Shortly after he speaks up again.

’’Why are you so far away from me? Did I do something?’’ he asks and gives you his famous puppy eyes. 

’’No not at all.’’ you say and you know it’s not going to be easy now.

This is actually the moment you feared the most since you came up with your plan.

Those puny eyes make you weak. He likely can get anything from you when he looks at you like that. You simply can’t resist him. So you move closer to him but still keeping a little distance between the two of you.

’’Babe come on I’m nit going to bite you’’ he say and laughs.

’’Who knows you haven’t eaten since this morning might be dangerous for me to be so close to you.’’ before he can say anything else you’re saved by the door bell.

Angel gets up and opens the door. You take a deep breath trying to calm your nerves before getting up to get knives and forks for the two of you. Once you return Angel is waiting for you with the food. You sit down again and thank him for the food. Still not a kiss. Usually when he buys something for you always thank him with a loving kiss and a hug but since you need to keep your plan going you don’t do it this time. It takes everything not to kiss or hug him. You start to eat and feels his eyes still on you but you keep looking at your food. After you and Angel are done eating you want to get up to clean up the coffee table when Angel reaches for your arm pulling you on his lap. He wraps his arms around you lap trying to kiss you but once again you turn away and get off him. You grab everything and carry it to the kitchen.

’’Lord help me’’ you say to yourself. You go back to the living room and Angel still sits there he is deep in his thoughts and doesn’t hear you. You notice the sad look on his face and kind of regret torturing him like this but then you remember all the times he pranked you and you still have the urge to give him a bit of his own medicine.

You now lay down on the couch and take the remote hoping something you like is on right now. Angel gets up and before you know it he’s laying on top of you with all his weight.

’’Angel get up’’ you say but he doesn’t move.

’’Angel come on!’’ you say with a firm voice. Still nothing

’’Angel for the love of god. Get off me! You’re heavy as fuck.’’ he moves his head and looks at you before finally speaking up.

’’No’’ he says and smiles.

’’Yes Angel’’

’’No Y/N simply No! You’re depriving me of my kisses since I came back home from the club hose since this morning I won’t get up until you finally give me a kiss. I swear I can lay here for the rest of the day. You’re pretty comfortable mi dulce. I have time.’’ he says and smile thinking he now has won.

’’Well I have time too baby - keep waiting’’ you say and give him a winning smile. At least you thought that this was a win but you were wrong. So so wrong. Angel covers your face with his kisses - you whole face before he goes for your lips and as soon as his meet yours you know love lost. You may have lost this war but you don’t really care right now. You’re happy to finally have his lips on yours again. To have him this close to you again. Once he releases your lips you speak up.

’’You can be a little whiney bitch has anyone ever told you before?’’ you say and laugh.

’’No but thanks for that my dulce you’re so charming. You surprise me every fucking time’’ he says   in a sarcastic way. ’’I know right? Im pretty awesome!’’ and smile and he returns it.

’’So what was this about?’’ he now asks and move off you to sit next to you. You sit up and cross your legs before answering him.

’’Revenge.’’ is the only thing you say.

’’What for?’’ he asks raising his eyebrows.

’’The prank you pulled on me last week.’’ you say and he remembers.

’’Yes that was fun’’

’’Was not!’’ 

’’Yes it was Y/n it was legendary. Your face was hilarious.’’ he say and laughs thing back to the week before. He sees the look on your face and pulls you in his arms. 

’’I’m sorry baby but what you did today that was cruel.’’

’’I appreciate the apology. I swear if you do sorting like that one m ore time we’re not talking about depriving kisses. I swear I’ll bring it to a whole new level.’’

’’Is that a threat?’’ he asks

’’No baby I would never threaten you. This - This was a promise.’’

’’What will I be facing?’’

’’No sex’’ you say and lean back smoking at him. You know this is how you’ll get him.

’’Are you fucking kidding me? You’re not being serious right now mi dulce. I thought no kisses was cruel but this brings it to a whole new level.’’ he says full of despair.

’’We all you need to do is to stop pranking me and you won’t have to suffer or have blue balls more like both. So that I’ve told you your options I’ll let you think about it for a while.’’ say and kiss hime before walking away.

’’Where you’re going?’’ he asks

’’Bed’’

’’Wow hold up wait for me. I promise no pranks I swear.’’

’’Then I guess someone will get lucky now’’ so say with a smirk and hear him practically running after you.

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