#FUCK IT HURTS MAN

[torchstelechos]

Every time I think about f!Leo meeting present Leo I get real mixed feelings. Cause that’s all your past mistakes, and all your past rights, in one individual. That’s you, but hes also not you. Because you look at him and all you can see is a stranger because you have alienated your past self so much from what you actually were to justify blaming yourself for the end of the world. It’s like you have brought the past back to life but he isn’t the past you, it’s a stranger wearing your own skin. How do you cope with that? Realizing that a stranger stands before you but you remember doing all the things he has done until your life ending mistake, that instead of ruining his life he has saved everyone.

Is he better than you? Is he worse? How can you tell, you can barely recognize yourself in the mirror much less this child. And that’s what he is, in the end, a child. A teenager with the weight of the world on his back, expectations too large for such narrow shoulders, and a stone carved mask. You were a child.

He’s not you, and you refuse to let him ever be you. You are made from death and fire and grief and sacrifice. You will never let that happen, his brothers (your brothers) will live long happy lives and know not of the pain you have felt. Even if you hate him, love him, are neutral to him, you will not let him be you. Because that would mean losing everything once again, and you only just got this second chance back.

But much like a snake eating its own tail, you can feel the presence of the past on your back and know that you will never escape from what you are. He might carry the world, but you carry a dead universe on your shell. Can you forgive a stranger wearing your face when you can barely forgive yourself? Can you love someone that was once you? Can you hate the child who did not know what a simple mistake would wrought upon the world? 

You are him, but he will never be you. Are you okay with that?

You have to be, it’s all you can do.

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

imagine getting twenty four hours of a fraction of a taste of what marginalized bloggers on this fucking site have been told "doesn't break TOS" for the past 15 years and deciding to openly threaten to just nuke the entire website lmfao

[fanaticalthings]

Jason:

Also Jason:

when you're worried about your dad but you also have a reputation

Masterlist

[lazylittledragon]

did somebody say dadkarios

[bruhstories]

Bet VI

p.1 here & p2. here & p.3 here & p.4 here & p.5 here

mandatory mdni. you were not tagged in this because you are not over 18.

summary: you're slowly reaching your breaking point. pairing: hwang in-ho/the front man x civilian!reader warnings & content: age gap, voyeurism, afab!reader, swearing, domestic violence (reader gets slapped), bullying, slightly detailed descriptions of reader’s background for plot purposes, red text for in-ho, purple for reader, pre 33rd squid game, canon divergent, veeeery slow burn, reader’s dad is dead w/c: 2k

a/n: if you would like to be tagged for the next part, please check this post! thank you for reading! please remember that if you asked to be tagged but i can’t find your age on your blog, you will NOT be tagged. there will be smut and people dying lol.

"When are you getting paid?"

For the third day in a row, you got asked the same question by your uncle. It was beginning to bother you, like a maggot eating away at your brain. Always talking about money, always wanting more, never satisfied with what he had. The greed was consuming him, and you didn't have the energy to argue.

"When Mr. Hwang comes back from his trip." You repeated, digging your fingernails into your palms to avoid raising your voice at him.

"Mr. Hwang, huh? Is he fucking you? Are you whoring yourself now?"

"What?"

That was a new low, even for your uncle. You took the beatings, you took the insults, took all of that abuse, but this? This was too much.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you followed in your mother's footsteps. She was a slut, after all."

"Don't talk about my mother like that." You barked back with newfound courage.

"Why wouldn't I? She killed my brother and dropped you at my door. If she was a decent woman you wouldn't be here." He grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked it, forcing you to look at him.

"She didn't kill anyone!" You clawed at his arm, desperate for him to let go of you. "He died because of you!"

His palm met your face, stinging, burning. You held back the tears, you had to, but your uncle wasn't satisfied with just one slap. Still holding you by the hair, he pushed your head against the hot stovetop, but you resisted. For the first time, you refused to take the undeserved abuse and pushed yourself back with all the strength you could muster.

"You little bitch-"

"No!" You slipped from his grip in a moment of panic, adrenaline coursing through your body.

Running out of the kitchen, you shoved clothes, documents and photos of your father into your backpack, and if your uncle would hit you, you would hit back. There was nothing left for you to lose anymore. Not anymore.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

"Anywhere but here."

"Fine. Go then. Just know that when you come back, I won't take you in." He stood in the doorway, arms folded across his chest.

"I will never come back." You spat back, eyes full of hatred and grief.

"We'll see about that after you spend a few nights on the streets. You'll crawl back, you'll beg me to take you in, and when you do, I’ll slam that fucking door right in your face." Venom dripped down his tongue while you paced around your room, collecting anything you needed to survive.

You walked past him silently, and with the realisation that you were actually leaving, your uncle shoved you back into your room, the impact causing you to gasp for air and lose balance.

"You're not going anywhere. You'll stay and pay your debts."

"Your debts. I hope the loan sharks find you and gouge your fucking eyes out!" You yelled, and when he leaped towards you, you crouched and dashed past him, running until your legs gave in, until your knees hurt and your feet were sore.

You caught the bus to Gangnam-gu, and prayed Mr. Hwang wouldn't be too upset that you were late. It was almost 9 and Eunjoo hadn't had her breakfast yet. How ironic it was that you were thinking about a cat after almost getting beaten to a pulp.

Good morning. Is the offer to spend the night at your penthouse still available?

Yes. Is everything alright?

No.

You cried on the bus, hiding your face behind your hair in an attempt to not draw any attention. Nothing was alright anymore. You had no house, no hope, no friends, no family to ask for help. All you had were the clothes on you and a stranger with a cat.

Miss? Are you there?

Yes. I'm sorry, Mr. Hwang. I didn't walk into a lamppost the other day, and I haven't been completely honest with you. My uncle... he hits me and I ran away from home. I can't go back, but I promise I'll find somewhere to stay before you return. I'm sorry, I didn't know who to ask for help.

I will cancel my trip and come back today. Please stay at the penthouse.

No!

Don't cancel the trip. Besides, I still have to go to work, so I won't be at your place for too long. Just, please, don't pity me.

Walking into Mr. Hwang's house, you immediately fed Eunjoo, and she wasn't quick to forgive. The cat meowed at you with judgement in her eyes, and you apologised to her, promising to make up by playing with her later. You would be spending more time there, after all.

After completing all your tasks for the morning, you emptied your backpack on the sofa, then filled it with the food Mr. Hwang allowed you to take. You just knew Mrs. Abdul would be happy about the eggs and milk, and from what you've heard, eggs were good for pregnant women. But you were apprehensive about going back to Guryong Village with your uncle lurking there.

Your eyes were glued to the familiar streets as you practically snuck behind buildings like some sort of spy, careful not to be seen by neighbours, or worse, your uncle. But you had to leave — you've endured too much.

In your mind, you already came up with a plan. You would spend any free time looking for part-time jobs so that you could get hired after Mr. Hwang returned, and very kindly ask him to let you stay in his guest room until you found a cheap rent, preferably away from Guryong Village.

Just as you had hoped, Mrs. Abdul was grateful for the eggs and milk, and prepared a small box of sweet coconut samosas along with some nihari for you to take. If only she knew how much that meant to you. If only she knew the massive positive impact she made on your life. From the very little money they had, they fed you and even offered to let you stay at their place after the stunt your uncle pulled. You politely declined, opting to stay at Mr. Hwang's place because of the distance it provided from your old home. You had to stay as far away from your uncle as possible.

At Lotte World, you met with Donghyun, who seemed quite eager about going out with you after work. You were conflicted, your mind riddled with thoughts about In-ho, thoughts no girl should have about a man twice their age. And yet, you couldn't stop your mind from being flooded with images of Mr. Hwang, his sharp features lingering on your retina, his deep voice echoing in your mind.

No, you needed to go out with men your age, and Donghyun was the perfect specimen. You just couldn't bring yourself to like him, not romantically at least. Otherwise he seemed like a nice guy, like a brother. He was funny and clever, but there was something telling you not to trust him.

Donghyun asked you to wait in the parking lot for you after work, and as more and more cars left, you were left alone, shivering and slightly irked at the lack of punctuality. It was quarter past seven, you finished your shift fifteen minutes ago, and he was nowhere to be seen. When you called, he didn't pick up. When you texted, he didn't reply. When you saw his car and waved, he stopped in front of you, rolled down his window and dumped a bag of trash at your feet, on your shoes.

"There. Now you fit in."

You were speechless, completely dumbfounded, and the cold in your body was soon replaced by your blood boiling. He sped off while laughing, leaving you completely stunned by his actions. An object of mockery for Donghyun. A punching bag for your uncle. Neither of them treated you like a human, and slowly but surely, you weren't feeling human anymore. In fact, you didn't feel anything but pure, unfiltered hate.

Slamming the door to Mr. Hwang's penthouse, you turned the TV on and quickly found a playlist with the heaviest songs. Eunjoo stared at you from the top of the kitchen cabinet, head tilted to the side, curiously studying the sudden change in your mood. You took out two bottles of baekseju and opened one, gulping down as much as you could stomach before feeling the liquid come back to your esophagus. Drinking wasn’t a pastime for you, and you couldn’t handle it very well, but something had to numb down all that hatred before you did something stupid.

"I don't wanna feel a thing tonight, Eunjoo." You pointed at your chest. "See this? This is where my heart is. You've got a little heart, too. But no one's broken yours."

The cat jumped down from the cabinet onto the countertop, apprehensive about approaching you. Halfway through the first bottle of baekseju, you began to shift your weight from one leg to another, headbanging on the rhythm of Slipknot's People = Shit. Your father never liked them, but you accidentally discovered them shortly after moving in with your uncle, when you pathetically searched for angry songs to blow off steam. You screamed the lyrics, pacing through the kitchen, grateful that In-ho didn't have any neighbours around him.

"People equal shit, Eunjoo. People equal shit." You felt the alcohol take over your brain, like a fog settling in. "I hate my uncle. I hate him so fucking much. And I hate Donghyun and his stupid fucking face."

You took out an unopened pack of cigarettes from your bag and stared at it. Never in your life had you smoked, but you felt the need to do it at that moment. In a split second of lucidity, you shook your head and put the pack away. You couldn't smoke in Mr. Hwang's house, even if he didn't have to know about it. And you especially didn't want Eunjoo to inhale the smoke. You were angry but you weren't an idiot. The cat didn’t have to suffer like you.

Resuming the drinking, you struggled to take off your hoodie, suddenly feeling hot. Unbearably hot. The rage, the alcohol and the uncontrollable desire for revenge simmered within you, but all those feelings came crashing down when you heard a familiar ding.

How was your day? Are you at the penthouse?

Shit. You forgot to text Mr. Hwang. You forgot to feed Eunjoo. It wasn't too late, so you heated the nihari from Mrs. Abdul, and opened a can of cat food, drunkenly stumbling through the kitchen with Eunjoo’s plate in one hand and a teaspoon in the other. Since when did Mr. Hwang have two cats? You blinked once, twice, set the food down and picked up your phone.

Gre at fuckng day. Got stood u p in the wrst possibl e way.

Miss? Have you been drinking?

No.

Maybe

Does it bothe r you that i did

Why would he care anyway? Mr. Hwang probably thought you were trash. Your uncle did. Donghyun did. You were no better than them, no matter how hard you tried to do good. To be good. Were you asking for too much? All you wanted was a bit of acknowledgement and freedom.

Ding!

Not at all. I'm just glad you did it somewhere safe. I'm sorry you got stood up. Whoever did it doesn't deserve someone like you.

Why do y ou care? Didn't you hear? I'm tra sh :)

Eunjoo quietly ate while you scooped the nihari with a spoon, stirring the stew with no appetite. The cat occasionally glanced at you, and you slurped the nihari when she did, just to keep her eating. 

Ding!

Rolling your eyes at the new text, you read it, pupils blown at the words on the screen that made you sober up instantaneously.

I care because you matter to me, and not just because you take care of Eunjoo. You're different from most people.

Please don't do that, Mr. Hwang. Don't give me hope.

Believe me miss, I am not one to give false hope. I'm just stating what I think.

Well, you're either a horrible liar, or you're completely insane.

I promise you, I'm a great liar.

Tell me another pretty lie, then.

You're insufferably beautiful and remarkably oblivious to what you've done to me.

tagging: @ri1liane  @anmert1  @syraxnyra  @frshluvcats  @lanyia  @mettreads  @nightdark-dreamdark  @bridge-always  @lovekm  @audrey223  @starkeyszn  @hobiesbrownsgf  @thoughtfulbelieverstrawberry  @maria-trisha @akiqvq @10hrs26mn @okaycharr @politicstanner @moonxknightx @googie-jeon @swthrtbyeol @mariiestfu @ratsnestinmyhair @missroro @talia-the-gemini @fortluocha @true-queen-of-mischief @ssa-callahan @bibliophile-yomna @wwastro @heartsforseo @marymun @glads-stuff @starryeddie @kisses2kanao @gagaga167 @l4venderia @scryi @lelisae @twicelover2 @ashtrosstuff @cruel-affair @cdej6 @veragrhm @nikos-a-clown @cchewhaz @pepsicolacoochie @lily-ann-b @red22wolf @nellabear  @unabletonotlovesatoru @happiness2112 @waterjewelsspite @luna-looniesblog @plan3t-plut0 @full-sunnies @warlabels @xcinnamonmalfoyx @rickgrimesismydaddy1 @jasonpetertoddismygod @marihoneywk @llghtsnoww @torkorpse @salivasupplier @okqur @jamiewritesfanfiction-blog @certifiedlevisimp @kiss-themoongoodbye @bluehourss @alexa554 @sinful-tawtute @ithoughtthinks @nacatna-blog @riri53 @alexisabirdie @houta-habtet-houta @player279achlys @newtscreatures347269 @annasnape7 @andcorde @tinylawyerbluebird @minty-vxnilla @pansyparadise @shura-gorl @greensunflowerjuna @juniebugg @dilfismz

[hemlock-dreams]

Any loser facts abt Peter in your universe? I see all Spider-Man's having atleast one (Or several) moments of "The Parker's luck", like swinging and falling into the dumpster, being the Smart-but-dumb person, or doing smth cringe to the point to embarass and make them stay awake at night

And I think it would be funny as hell if he is this smart, hot, skillful, intelligent with tragic backstory but still a little bit of a loser

Hunting!Spiderman is absolutely a loser.

His biggest public embarrassment was taking on Captain America in his OG world. They were on opposite sides for some comic shenanigan reason or another, and ended up having to fight.

Captain America laid Spiderman out to fucking dry. Full on KO. He was obliterated, so completely and effectively that he legitimately had a crisis about it.

Even worse, Captain picked him up over the shoulder and took him to safety afterward. He woke up asking what time and year it was.

it was captured live on Tiktok, and mem-ed to absolute hell. Tags like #Spideryamcha and #Spideybeatdown were trending for weeks. JJ split the video into single frames and ran it on every website/article/blog of the Bugle.

Halloween was brutal. And endless stream of couple costumes, kids dressed as Captain America with spider-plushies, beach towels with Spidey's image, advertised thrown over the shoulder. God the Spotify playlist... (Beating me up/Mama Said Knock you Out/Getting Beaten Up/Lay Me/I'm a loser/Bad Day...and so on)

Now, to be clear, Spiderman has had his fair share of losses. He's not invulnerable- and to most of the masses, the power difference between Captain America and Spiderman is minimal.

But Spiderman knows better.

For reference, Captain America is an enhanced human. He's fast, strong, dexterous- and can lift up to 1200 pounds.

Spiderman can go toe-to-toe with the Hulk. Spiderman can lift up to 25 tons.

This shouldn't have been even close. And it wasn't. This is when Peter realized that having mutated muscles and superhuman strength didn't mean anything if he didn't know how to use them. Most of his rogues gallery up until that point (Rhino, Vulture, the classics-) were just dudes with souped up bodies/tech.

Captain America, highly trained and disciplined, was able to read him like a flimsy pamphlet, capitalizing on all his weaknesses to take Spidey out like yesterday's garbage.

TLDR: Spiderman got hilarious humbled on Tiktok and his rep took a hit that never totally recovered.

For new world Loser facts:

-Peter Parker is living above St. Margaret's on Weasel's charity. -Has to basically work for free for room and board -Has literally no friends or family (yet) -Can't hold a Starkphone in the right direction to save his life Stay tuned for more!

[starry-bi-sky]

Unpleasant Revelations - DPxDC Ficlet Idea for the Stillborn Au

"Have you met my youngest, Damian, Mr. Masters?"

Its only from twenty years of long, hard experience and practice that Vlad doesn't increase the room temperature from 'borderline uncomfortably cool' to 'unbearably hot' the moment Bruce Wayne pulls his youngest and "only" biological son out in front of him.

He puts only in quotations because twelve year old Damian Wayne looks scarily, uncannily like one Daniel Brown. Jack and Maddie's foster son, second victim of their foolishness, and only other halfa in existence. Second only to him.

It's nauseating how similar they look. From the scowl and terrible glare on the young boy's face, to his brown skin -- which was only a few shades lighter than Daniel's, the shape of his nose, and even the strange winged edge of his eyebrow. Something that Vlad has long since come to find endearing on the child he considered a son of his own. The only difference was that Damian had dark, sharp green eyes.

Daniel's eyes were blue. The same glacier shade as his father's, who stood behind Damian with a proud, oafish smile on his visage.

It was infuriating how similar they look. Vlad might not have rapidly swung the room temperature from one extreme to the other, but he can't stop himself from letting the fury burning within his core from slipping out and raising the temperature up a few degrees.

Because it really only meant one thing.

Damian Wayne and Daniel Brown were related.

Damian Wayne and Daniel Brown were brothers.

Standing in front of him, it was clear as day. He can already picture a phantom image of Daniel standing beside Damian, the same scowl written on his face, the same glare carved into his eyes. The only difference being the dark, exhausted circles beneath them that seemed to be permanently painted onto his skin. The only thing missing being the permanent loneliness and vigilance permeating his being like a scar.

This, if revealed, would be enough to ruin Bruce Wayne's reputation. Or, at the very least, darken it quite a bit. The great philanthropist Bruce Wayne with another secret blood child? One related to his youngest? One that had been put into foster care? Seemingly thrown away?

It would be a firestorm.

One that Vlad is not keen on starting.

It would ruin Bruce Wayne's reputation, yes. But it would hurt Daniel in the process -- the harassment he would face alone might just be enough to break that fragile child completely. That was just not something he could allow. Or, even worse, bring him into his biological father's care and custody -- something Vlad was even less willing to allow.

It's not out of kindness to Wayne that Vlad will keep mum about this.

His grip on his champagne flute tightens, just a bit. He's still aware enough of the world around him to not let it shatter in his hands. His plastered, pleasant smile tightens around the corners, and he forces his focus to slide from Damian to Wayne.

"The resemblance is uncanny, Mister Wayne." He says, slanting his smile to the side slyly. Although he's not talking about the resemblance between Wayne and his son. Rage simmers beneath his skin, burning coal and embers in the core of his chest, nestled between his lungs, as he meets the man's eyes.

Wayne swaggles his head proudly, his ditzy smile widening as he squeezes his son's shoulder affectionately. Bastard, Vlad wants to spit.

He breathes in through his nose, and exhales out through his mouth. The champagne in his hand cools, and stops its unusual bubbling.

The Damian boy scoffs under his breath, his mouth still coiled upward into a scowl. With the revelation of his blood relation to Daniel evident, Vlad's not sure if he should find it endearing or not.

He is not Daniel, so he decides that it's just simply irritating. He decides to ignore it.

"And you said he was your only biological son?" He asks, voice lilting and head tilting. He knows its a suspicious question at worst, insulting at best. But considering Wayne's past proclivities, he can hardly call it an unexpected question.

Damian puffs in great offense, face twisting angrily. It reminds him of Daniel when Vlad insisted that he was wrong about something or other, and for a moment his heart swells, fond.

But this is not his child, and so the feeling quickly crashes and burns, simmering back into rage. This was not Daniel -- this was his replacement. A replacement that Wayne was free to keep.

Wayne chuckles, idiotically, as if he'd said some funny joke. Vlad's other hand, the one gripping his cane -- something he's required ever since he was dispatched from the hospital all those lonely years ago -- tightens instead. He grinds his teeth -- him and Jack Fenton would get along like a house on fire, he hates it.

"I can understand why you'd ask that, Mister Masters," Wayne says, squeezing Damian's shoulder again, "but yes, Damian is my only biological son. Although that doesn't mean I don't love my other children any less."

Bastard.

For all his posturing and flouncing about caring for his city and his children, Vlad never would have thought the Prince of Gotham capable of abandoning one of them.

But, well.

They all have their dark secrets.

And what one man throws away, another man picks up. If Bruce Wayne didn't want the treasure child that was Daniel Brown, then Vlad Masters was more than happy to take him instead.

"I see."

[bertoyana]

charles and erik with each other: oh dear, oh dear. gorgeous 🥺👐 charles and erik with the villain of the week/the x-men: K1LL YOURSELF 🔥🔥🔥

X-Men: First Class (2011) | X-Men Apocalypse (2016)

[nenestansunsthings]

having svsss au ideas beyond my station

thinking. shang qinghua goes on a mission as a young disciple to some town in fuckoff nowhere and finds himself in the qiu household. and there he finds a young shen jiu, undergoing the plot he originally intended for him and hadn't realised had become real and he's so young oh god hes so young why is he so small what do you mean that part was real, he hadn't kept it why is it real—

and he panics and sneaks him the Fuck out of that house

and he's not sure what to do but surely sending him to cang qiong will fuck up something in the plot and he can't come under even more investigation and cang qiong tryouts dont happen for months anyway and his system would probably never allow it (it doesnt. it would interfere with yue qingyuans story) but shen jiu is refusing to stay anywhere near this place and wants to learn cultivating to protect himself make sure nothing like this ever happens again and sqh panics harder and

calls mobei jun.

okay. on second thought, maybe this was a bad idea. but he stumbles over himself and shushes baby shen jiu's very understandable freaking out and asks his king for the first thing hes ever asked for other than his own life.

is there any way this human child could learn cultivation in the demon world?

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

[moritashie]

Peter: If I were Peralta, would that make you Holt?

Tony: I'm not gay.

Peter: Wait you're not?

Cue cut scenes from the past few weeks, sitcom style, showing Rhodes and Tony acting very homoerotically

[deadmegumi]

Obito-as-madara specifically mentioning to sasuke how perfect hashirama was is killing me like how much time did madara spend in that cave glazing his ex that obito decided an accurate madara impression Had to include several monologues about how hashirama was the consummate ninja and he could heal wounds without weaving a single sign and when he stabbed me it was awesome and his dick was 10 inches soft

[cestacruz]

Slipping through my fingers all the time...

[guqin-and-flute]

Something about the fact that these shots are all grouped together, one after another, visually giving them equal weight just gets me. The narrative knows what's going to happen between JGY and Huaisang at this point, knows how it's going to treat JGY at the end of everything. And it still takes time to show Meng Yao instinctively and immediately going in front of Huaisang and Huaisang instinctively and immediately hiding behind him. It takes the time--literally, showed it in the background and focused on it with the same general amount of time as the other shots--to show that this act of protection and trust are just as real and true as Jiang Cheng defending his sister, as Wen Qing defending her younger brother.

Like, I dunno! There are other Nie juniors there! They have swords and shit! Huaisang could have gone and hid behind the wall, but he hid behind Meng Yao! And Meng Yao could have moved back with Huaisang, but he steps directly in front of him!

There's a lot CQL did to JGY's character and narrative that I don't like and that flatten or just straight up erase his full complexity. But I really appreciate the lengths that it went to in Episode 4 to explicitly tell us that he does not hesitate to protect Huaisang, even though at this point he does not have a sword and definitely does not have anywhere near the same cultivation power (if any) as any of the rest of the people in the room.

Right now, after being publicly humiliated, unarmed and definitely outclassed, he is brave. Along with the rest of the characters, he's allowed to be uncomplicatedly young and loyal and just as innocent as any of the other students there.

[time-woods]

This small interaction in episode 2 will not leave my brain I need to dissect it and ramble or else I’ll pop

Frame of reference: this is where Aziraphale tells Crowley what drink he wants,

so he gets his attention while trying to spot somewhere to sit obviously not thinking to much of it (he also only turns twice in this moment to look at Crowley, having his main focus being on the seating- thats just Aziraphale for you though) but the way that Crowley looks back at him just makes him seem taken aback by the small gesture of physical touch. Not in a negative way, he doesn’t say anything and kinda just lingers for a moment looking and Aziraphale before getting their drinks. I don’t know how to explain it but this small moment along with details in body language from the whole series just makes these characters so fun to watch, even in the small things they can be so devastatingly human despite their denial,