#stop pissing and shitting in your diaper about your feelings being hurt and do your fucking job

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

imagine getting twenty four hours of a fraction of a taste of what marginalized bloggers on this fucking site have been told "doesn't break TOS" for the past 15 years and deciding to openly threaten to just nuke the entire website lmfao

[tinlizziedlinwa]

my health

I'm slipping and sliding downwards. Odd things are happening physically.

The tinnitus is constant (it's been there for a couple decades, at least) but the pitch of it changes occasionally now and it's like everything else is muffled. The neverending sound does drive me a little mad sometimes and I try to escape it....

A constant headache. It's usually low-level, a painful tension-type but not enough to stop whatever I'm doing. Until I cough. Then the pain spikes straight through my skull and even makes me afraid to breathe.

Neck aches constantly. I've an attempted (failed) fusion of C4-C5-C6 being held together with a plate and screws. Recent x-rays showed no hardware movement, at least, but the discs above and below there have experienced a lot of wear'n'tear in the 15 years since the operation.

Slipping ribs (12th-rib syndrome) are making it difficult to tense my abdominal muscles. Coughing hurts, but a sneeze will damn near drop my ass to the floor. Imagine hot electrified knives stabbing you in the sides, shocking along your lowest ribs, from your spine to the softer parts at the bottom of your sternum. There's an ache on the left that won't go away and boy howdy when it flares up!

My lower back is fubared. I've ruptured L1-L2 and L4-L5 and have had discectomies on both. Lost a lot of space there for the nerves. There's also a spondylolisthesis at L2-L3 that's a grade 1 on MRI, but that's with me laying down and as comfortable as I can get. When the thing really slips, I'm laying on my floor in tears pissing & shitting myself, unable to move through the pain. That happens around once or twice a year, and totally incapacitates me for a couple of weeks. Makes life rather difficult, trying to change my diaper when I can barely fucking move.

Legs... it's from my back, I'm pretty sure. My right foot is swelling a bit (when you look at my footses side by side it's noticable and obvious). They flash hot and cold. They occasionally go numb. Sometimes there's pins'n'needles. All these sensations spread up from my feet all the way past my knees and into my lower thighs. When I'm standing up (as "up" as I can get, anyways) the straight-up pain in my legs starts slow but quickly ramps up until I can't stand anymore. I can only stand for about three minutes until I'm forced to sit by the pain. And it's not my back hurting the most! It's my damned legs! Damned nerves.

My brain often feels like it's packed in wool. Don't really know how to describe it better than that. Fuzzy. Unclear. I often seem to lose time - whole days have passed that I have no memory of. I'm sleeping a lot, but it's always in spurts, usually two or three hours at a time - every time I move, something stabs me awake. Ribs, legs, neck, a cough, something will spike a pain that I just cannot ignore.

I've had a heart-attack and have a stent, too. My diet has absolutely sucked for the past couple of months. If I'm lucky, another one will take me in my sleep. If not, I'm thinking I'll just lay down on the floor and endure the pain until I fall unconcious.

Whoever finds me, feel free to loot my corpse.

[zeroweeenies]

friends with benefits, megumi x reader? (make it long please, i just finished giving my final exams)

I bet you did amazing <3

“Not So Bad After All”

Desc: turns out megumi isn’t as bad as he seems.

Character(s): Megumi x fem!reader

Word Count: 5.1K

WARNINGS: belly bulge, praise, blood (non sexual), enemies to friends with benefits, aged up megumi, 18+ minors dni

You loved Fridays. You loved Saturdays even more. You loved that you could relax unwind on your couch and watch your favorite shows with a beer, especially after a long week of classes.

So when your weekly alleviation was interrupted Friday morning with your mom asking you to help Fushiguro and his dad to help you move into their new house next to you, you were pissed.

Now here you were, carrying heavy ass boxes like a factory worker, and for the likes of Fushiguro at that. You’ve known him ever since you both were small kids since his dad Toji and your mom were best friends in high school.

Unlike your parents, you and Fushiguro didn’t have the greatest friendship, hell you two didn’t have a friendship at all.

Most of your encounters only ever occurred because of the connection between your parents, and because you both attended the same University.

He was just so damn annoying, always shooting you dirty looks or teasing you about how you looked. You wondered how he could make fun of your appearance when he had that weird ass hair.

You weren’t just gonna let them get the last laugh, oh no. There was no possibility that he was going to fuck with you and you let it slide.

So whenever you around Fushiguro, you made it your life’s mission to fuck up his whole day. Whether it be with a snarky comment or scribbling all over his homework, you had to find some way to piss him off.

You huff as you set the heavy box down, moping to your mom. “why do I have to be here?”

She hoists the box up from the moving truck as if it were a feather. “Because we,” she grunts, “are good people who help our friends out.”

“Fushiguro is not my friend.” you scoff at her words. “I think you’re getting delusional, ma.”

She stops as she sets the box down at the doorstep, holding her finger up in your direction.

“Watch your mouth.” she says in a warning tone.

“Don’t think just because you’re in college that you’re too old for a beating, little girl.”

“And go get the boys, they should be out here helping, too.” she sends you off, returning to the truck to retrieve more boxes.

You kiss your teeth, waving her off. “Whatever.”

“What was that?” she chirps from inside the vehicle, daring you to repeat your words.

“I said I love you mom!” you rush into the house, managing to avoid her.

You walk into the house in search of Fushiguro and his dad when you spot him on the couch watching tv. You almost scoff at the sight of the tall boy just sitting there while you’re outside working your ass off.

Walking up to him, you smack the side of his head, causing him to hold that very spot. “ouch! what the fuck!?”

“This isn’t the fucking moving company, you need to be outside helping.” you point towards the exterior of the house with your thumb, one arm across your chest as it propped up your elbow.

“Yeah yeah, whatever” he rubs the side of his head as he stands up.

“Where’s your hot dad at shitty hair?” you teased, knowing he would get mad. Fushiguro hated two things: people talking about his dad, and people talking about his hair. To your surprise, he didn’t snap at you. Instead, he snapped back at you in the same tone.

“In the kitchen arranging the appliances, how about your hot mom moon face? i think i wanna pay her a little visit,” he shot back, leering down at you.

This is exactly what you were talking about. Fushiguro always had some smart comment to throw at you. Whatever you threw at him he ended up throwing it back ten times harder, and you couldn’t stand it. You couldn’t stand him.

Especially the moon face remark, and to think you had stopped being insecure about that.

You roll your eyes at him, storming off to the kitchen to find his dad. You walk in to see him putting away appliances in the cabinets, the sweat from his toned body making his shirt cling to his body. He looked good.

You knocked at the wall announcing your presence, practically foaming at the mouth as Toji spun around to face you from where he was standing. He chuckled when he noticed the way you were looking at him, wiping the pooling sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.

Fushiguro’s dad had always been good looking, you knew it ever since you were younger. It’s not like you were in love with the guy or anything, it was just an innocent little school girl crush that you developed. Besides, he was way out of your age range to begin with.

“What’s up kiddo?” he scruffs up your hair. Despite being so tough on his son, the man always had a soft spot for you. It was almost like you were a second child to him.

“I’m not a kid anymore,” you pout “and mom needs you outside to help with the boxes” you say with ire in your voice.

You were a little annoyed that the man still saw you as a child. You were in college and had your own apartment, you paid your own bills, you even had a pet that you cared for.

So it was a bit irritating that his disposition about you remained the same despite the fact being that you were morphing into an adult.

“yeah right, you and megumi will always be kids to me. even when you get old and have to shit in diapers” he wraps his arm around your neck, walking you to the front of the house.

“gross.” he laughs, removing his arm from you as he walks around the truck where your mom is.

“Me and Megumi finished this load. Ready for the next trip?” she nodded towards the truck, hopping in the passenger’s side when Toji gave her confirmation.

“Yup,” the tall man walked around to the driver’s side, swinging the heavy door open and sliding in place.

Your eyes shot open in bewilderment, rushing to the side where your mom was. “Next trip? There’s more stuff!?”

“Sweetheart don’t be like that, there’s only a few more things we have to get from the old apartment. we’ll be done after this, I promise.” she said with assurement in her voice. “Now move, i don’t want you to get run over.”

You stepped back in disbelief, nearly tripping over your own two feet as you watched the truck fade away into the distance. You were already taking time out of your day to do something you didn’t want to do in the first place, now that time was getting extended.

The sun had begun to set over the horizon, painting the summer sky with a beautiful mixture of orange and pink. You stood in the driveway, dumbfounded for a few moments before you could even formulate a sentence.

“This is some bullshit.” you huffed out, earning a wry laugh from Fushiguro who stood a few feet away from you.

“Weekend isn’t going as planned, is it?” he chirped from behind you, causing you to turn around and stomp on his foot as you walked past him to get to the house.

He hopped on one foot, holding the other one that you had stepped on.

“Shut the hell up. And help me put the rest of these boxes in the house shitface.”

“Says the one that has a face with more craters than the moon,” he mumbles out, barely audible enough for you to hear.

When Fushiguro brings the last of the boxes in the house, you’re settled on the couch watching tv. He purposefully plops down on the couch at the exact spot where your feet are resting, causing you to land repeated butterfly kicks to the side of his thigh.

You feel Fushiguro grab you by the ankle, yanking you forward so that your legs were in an awkward position. He leaned over you, his face getting dangerously close to yours and his body sitting between your legs.

Face growing hot, you tried to pull your ankle from his tight hold but to no avail. Fushiguro only tightened his grip on you causing you to wince. You attempt to kick him off you with your free foot but he only catches that one too, now holding your legs open with both hands.

If you weren’t flustered before, you definitely were now. The dark scowl on Fushiguro’s face only excites you even more. You weren’t supposed to be feeling this way, you’re supposed to hate him. But here you are, hot and bothered with the boy you hate spreading your legs wide open.

“Do that again, and I’ll hurt you. Bad.” he whispers with warning in his voice, face nearly touching yours.

His voice promised danger but was alluring all the same. It made you tremble, underwear starting to grow wet.

“Fushi-wushi, how’d you know I like pain?” you challenged him, daring to inch your face closer to his.

“You know, you should take a girl out on a date before you try to get between her legs,” you snicker, pushing him off you before sauntering off into the kitchen, hips swaying in efforts to tease him.

Megumi sits on the couch, shocked and flustered at your boldness as he watches you disappear into the other room.

You retrieve the pitcher of orange juice that sits in the freezer, opening it and placing it on the counter as you go to get a glass from the cabinet that sits way too high for you to reach.

“Shit. How am I supposed to reach that?”

You tug on your bottom lip with your teeth, contemplating asking Fushiguro for help or try to get it yourself knowing it’s too far out of your grasp. You choose the latter.

There was no way you were about to ask that bozo for help. He’d probably tease you about your height, rubbing it in your face about how you couldn’t even reach to get a flimsy little glass.

You steady yourself on the balls of your feet, stretching as far as you can to reach the glass. Your feet begin to burn, your calves burning from the stretch as your fingertips brushed the glass.

You must’ve tapped the object a tad bit too hard because it came tumbling down, knocking the carton of orange juice down to splatter all over your clothes before hitting the floor, shattering in the process.

A shard of the broken glass cuts your foot, causing you to scream. A confused Fushiguro speeds into the kitchen, eyes widening at your state before rushing off. You raise your injured foot off the ground, hobbling to the opposite side of the counter so you didn’t hurt yourself again.

The pain in your foot only grew, drops of blood hitting the floor as you winced.

Fushiguro reenters the room, a white box in his hand with a red and white sign on it.

“Sit on the counter,” he instructs you, and you do as he says, legs swinging from the place you were sitting. He drops to his knees and pries the kit open, revealing medical tools and supplies used to clean up wounds. He slips on a pair of gloves then pulls out a pair of tweezers, beginning to work on your foot.

Fushiguro angles your foot with his left hand, using his right to remove the glass with catlike precision. He’s so focused, the look of concern on his face baffling you. You cringe as you feel the glass exiting your foot, tears prodding your eyes from the agony.

“Why didn’t you call me?” he grits his teeth, never averting his eyes from the task at hand.

“Because I can-” you hiss, your foot recoiling from the stinging feeling of the alcohol that he applied to your foot.

“I can do it myself,” you sigh out, the sting beginning to dissipate.

“No you can’t, ___ . You could’ve really hurt yourself.” You noticed the resentment in his voice, he wouldn’t even look at you.

“Why do you care so much anyw-” you holler at him

“BECAUSE,” he yells at you, his eyes softening at the way you jumped back from him.

He sighs, continuing to nurse your foot by wrapping it in gauze. “I have my reasons” he gives you no further answer.

Any other time you would’ve yelled back at him, but the genuine concern in his voice only instructed you to be quiet.

He notices your ruined clothes from the orange juice that splattered over it. He also takes note of the way your shirt sticks to your breasts with your perked nippes showing through. He averts his eyes, quickly shooing you off.

“Look at you, you’re all sticky. I have clothes in my room you can go wear something of mine. I have to get this stuff cleaned up.” He turns away from you, securing the med kit before tending to the mess you made.

You could only nod, scooting off of the counter before leaving the kitchen on your injured foot to retreat to Fushiguro’s room.

There was this feeling in your chest that you just couldn’t shake off. Why did you feel bad? You couldn’t stand Fushiguro, so why did it bother you to see him upset?

You shut the door, peeling yourself out of your sticky clothes before searching for something to put on.

Megumi finishes cleaning up the glass and spilled juice when his phone lights up with a ‘ding’ noise. He picks up the device, noticing a text from his dad.

‘piece of shit truck broke down. we won’t be able to get home until the morning. there’s money for food in my room if you need it. -dad’

Megumi sucks his teeth at the message, heading upstairs to tell you the sudden news. He opens the door to his room, seeing your half naked body as you turn around, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

He caught a glimpse of the thong you were wearing, seeing how it nestled perfectly between your cheeks. Your ass looked good. He notices you’re not wearing a bra, his eyes trained on the way your pebbled nipples stick out.

You cover yourself with the shirt you found, snapping him out of his trance causing him to avert his eyes back to your flustered gaze.

“Can you get out!?” you shove him out and close the door behind him before he even gets the chance to apologize.

Megumi slaps his hands over his face, cursing to himself for not thinking to knock as he heads downstairs.

What was that? Was Fushiguro... checking you out? You caught him looking at your tits through your shirt earlier, and now this. You couldn’t front, Fushiguro was a good looking guy, but you didn’t like him like that. Did you?

When he was between your legs on the couch, your face was hot. And he made your underwear uncomfortable, but that didn’t mean you liked him. Did it?

You’re talking about a boy you grew up loathing, and you were pretty sure he couldn’t stand you either. Now you were questioning whether you had feelings for him. It made your head feel fuzzy.

Coyly walking into the living room, you sit on the couch opposite of Fushiguro. The awkward silence between you two only grew while the loud sounds from the tv served as white noise.

Fushiguro finally breaks the quietness between you two “The moving truck broke down, so you have to stay here for the night.”

Shit. And to think things weren’t awkward enough, now you have to spend the whole night alone with him.

“Oh.” you simply state, twiddling your thumbs as you look down.

A few moments pass before you glance at Fushiguro, finally deciding to speak. “Sorry I broke your glass…” you mutter out, making him laugh from beside you.

“Moon face is apologizing? Pigs must be flying,” he was holding his stomach from how hard he was laughing.

You were never really good at apologizing, always too prideful to own up to your faults. But when you did, you always meant it. So Fushiguro laughing at you only prompted you to fold your arms.

“Well now I take it back” you pout, turning your body away from him.

“Awww come on,” he scooches over to where you’re sitting, tilting your chin up to face him with his thumb and forefinger.

“If it makes you feel better, I’m sorry for yelling at you. I was being a dick.”

The awkward tension in the room was now replaced with sexual tension, your breath catches in your throat from how close he was. He could kiss you right now if he really wanted to.

You take this time to analyze his features. His thick lashes had grown out, curling up to his eyebrows beautifully. His jawline was sharp now, with his Adam's apple more prominent. And his lips were smooth and plush with a natural sheen to them, both a bubblegum pink color.

You had never seen him this way. Maybe you were just too busy hating him to even notice; but he was older, more mature now. He looked hot. You guess you weren’t the only one who had grown up.

“Fushiguro, why were you so worried about me earlier?” your breaths got heavier, heart pounding out of your chest as his face neared towards you.

The thumb on your chin ran along your mouth, Fushiguro’s eyes flickering to your lower lip.

“I can show you better than I can tell you. Will you let me?” he asks for your permission.

You weren’t stupid, you knew exactly where this was headed. And you didn’t mind. It had been months since you last got off, so you’d give in to your desires this time.

You close your eyes, letting Fushiguro close the distance between you two. His lips connect with yours in a heated but sensual kiss, tongue entering your mouth making you stifle a moan.

You let his hands wander your body. The meat of your thighs, the flesh of your ass, your soft tits. Megumi wanted to feel all of you. After so long, he was finally getting what he wanted. He was going to savor this moment.

He pulled his lips from yours, breath heavy against your swollen lips from the bruising kiss. His hands rested at the hem of your shirt, silently asking if he could take it off. You nod, raising your arms for him to remove the clothing.

You sit there in only your panties, Fushiguro’s eyes scanning your naked chest as he throws the shirt across the room.

“Your tits are so pretty,” latching onto your breast, he sucks your nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud. He tastes the spilled orange juice from earlier on your skin, it drives him absolutely mad.

You throw your head back as Fushiguro makes dark bruises all over your chest, you’d have to cover that up with makeup later on.

He trails his tongue all the way down your sternum and stomach, moving down until he’s face to face with your cunt. He presses kisses to the fabric right over where your clit is, licking stripes over it making you whine for him to do more.

Fushiguro gets your message and hooks his finger over your thong, pushing the material out of the way before he jabs his tongue into your hole, rubbing your clit at the same time

“You taste so fucking good,” he removes his tongue from inside of you, slurping and sucking on that sensitive spot that drives you crazy.

You can’t control your moans now. The way he’s eating you is driving you nuts, and you feel yourself getting closer when he nudges two fingers in your pussy, curling his fingers as he works them in and out of you.

“Fuck— yes yes yes, right there” you wail, feeling your release near.

Fushiguro groans at the way your fingers suck him in, his sweatpants grow uncomfortable from his rock hard dick drooling with precum.

“Right there? You gunna cum?” you nod your head furiously, eyes shutting tight with your mouth wide open.

Fushiguro takes advantage of your open mouth by pushing two of his fingers in, holding your tongue down as he muffles your cries.

Fuck. Fingers in your mouth. Fingers in your pussy. You could just die.

“Go ahead, cum. I got you.”

You let out a long moan, pleasure soaring through you as Fushiguro folds you in half on the couch with his fingers up to the knuckle inside of your pulsing cunt.

He works you through your orgasm, suckling on your clit as you begin to come down.

He palms his cock through his sweats to relieve himself from his painfully hard erection as he comes up to kiss you, swirling his tongue on yours allowing you to taste yourself. You moan from tasting your juices on his tongue, remembering your flavor along with Fushiguro’s.

“Good fucking girl” he detaches his lips from yours, breathless. You motion to pull his pants down but he catches your hand in his, causing you to frown at him.

“Wanna make you feel good too,” you pouted up at him, making Fushiguro let out a groan.

As much as he wanted your soft lips wrapped around his dick, he couldn’t allow it. He wanted tonight to be about you, he wanted solely to be the one to make you feel good.

Pressing a sweet kiss to your mouth, he gave you a knowing smile.

“I know, baby. Tonight’s about you though.” biting your lip, you give him a small nod as you watch him pull his shirt off along with his sweats.

He was sexy. His arms were decorated with muscles, his toned stomach and abs must’ve been crafted by the gods themselves. His prominent v-line extended down his pelvis making you salivate.

He pumped his thick cock in his hand one, two, three times before approaching you to your position on the couch, legs wide open with your panties pushed to the side. He barely gets the tip in before he pulls out again, letting out an audible groan.

“What’s wrong?” you sit up on your elbows, furrowing your eyebrows.

He runs his free hand down his face, looking down at you. “I don’t have a condom.”

You look down, licking your lips. You always practiced safe sex. You never once let a guy fuck you without a rubber. But the thought of Fushiguro going raw in you has you clenching around nothing.

“It’s okay, you can cum inside me. I’m on birth control.” you mumble, too embarrassed to even say it louder

His eyebrows raise in surprise. “You sure?” you nod, and that’s all he needs you to do before he slides into you in one fell swoop.

You throw your head back from the feeling of him stuffing you. His cock is so thick, stretching you out so perfectly you can’t help but scream.

“You’re so fucking tight,” he breathes out, shoving his cock in and out of your sopping cunt.

Your hole is so sloppy, you can feel yourself dripping onto the cushions right below where Fushiguro is fucking you senseless.

“Look at you, making a fucking mess” he gapes at where the two of you connect, pounding your pussy as your slick covers his abdomen. “I would’ve fucked you a long time ago if I knew you get this wet for me”

His words only make you clench around his fat cock, eliciting a deep groan from him. You try to hold back your moans, only making Fushiguro pin your arms above your head.

“Ah ah, let me hear those pretty moans. I wanna hear how good I make you feel.” he commands you. The loud slaps filling the room and the lewdness of your tits uncontrollably bouncing in front of him only embarrass you further, pushing you closer to orgasm.

Fushiguro pulls out of you, flipping you onto your hands and knees before he pushes back into your soaked pussy, finally drawing out a moan from you.

“That’s a good girl,” he ruthlessly pounds you, cooing in your ear about how well you’re taking his dick. He was so deep, his cock fucking into your cervix. You could feel him in your stomach.

He presses his hand to your stomach, and you felt his dick pushing in and out of that very spot.

“You feel me in your tummy? I’m right here, baby”

he breathes in your ear, the feeling is too much, you know you’re about to cum at any given moment.

“‘S too big-- too much,” your eyes retreat to the back of your head, nails clawing at the arm of the couch.

“Yeah? You can take it. You’re a good girl, I know you can.”

And you do. You take all of his fat cock in your little pussy because he tells you to. Because you wanna be a good girl.

He didn’t know how long he could keep this up, he was about to blow his load inside you but not before you tell him what he wants to hear.

“Fushig-”

“Megumi,” he corrects you

“Megumi, please let me cum—!” you beg, tears streaming down your face.

He ponders on it for a while, hips never faltering against your ass.

“You gonna stop pretending you hate me?”

“Yes—!”

“You gonna stop being such a damn brat?”

“Yes yes yes—! I’ll do anything you want, jus’ please let me cum”

His breaths begin to stagger. He’s cumming.

“Cum baby, cum all over my dick” he rubs on your clit, tipping you over the edge. Any and all sound you hear is blocked out, you can only feel yourself floating.

Your little cunt strangles Fushiguro as his cream fills you, the white liquid spilling out as he fucks it in and out of you.

Your body collapses onto the sofa below you as you come down from your high, twitching from the aftershocks of your orgasm. He really fucked your brains out.

The edges of your vision begin to fade into white as you feel your limp body being scooped up and carried out of the room.

You fade in and out of consciousness when you feel a warm wet material run up and down your skin, seeing a tall figure looming over you before you finally black out for good.

Your eyes flutter open, taking note of your surroundings. You were in Fushiguro’s bedroom. Feeling a heavy arm around your waist, you turn your head to find him sleeping peacefully next to you.

‘He looks so cute when he’s sleeping.’ you smile sheepishly, attempting to slide out of his hold only for him to pull you closer.

“Gonna leave without saying goodbye first?” he speaks in his deep morning voice, the sounds going straight to your core.

“We can’t let our parents catch us like this. And if I keep listening to your morning voice I just might fuck you while they’re here.” you admit.

He lets out a deep chuckle “I don’t mind, let them listen.” he pulls you even closer, his morning wood pressing up against your ass.

His voice is seriously doing something to you. If he kept testing you, you’d end up taking him up on his offer. But you can’t let it distract you, you have to get dressed.

“I’m serious, I gotta get dressed” you say flatly.

Fushiguro lets out a whine, not really wanting you to leave. “Fine,” he surrenders, pressing a kiss to your nape that makes you shiver.

Sliding from his grip, you scour the room for your clothes, slipping them on as he comes up to hug you from behind.

“Are you gonna let me see you again?” he presses his lips to your shoulder and neck, waiting for a response.

You think over the question for a minute. Considering what it would be like to have a recurrent fuck buddy. None of the other guys you slept with could get you off properly, except Fushiguro.

Fushiguro actually was a decent guy despite being a dickwad most of the time, he was also someone you could trust after knowing him for so long. Besides, he knew how to fuck.

You answer his question with a simple nod, turning around in his hold and wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Good,” he presses a kiss to your lips, his hands snaking down past the small of your back to grab a handful of your ass.

“Megumi!” you hear a voice call out to him. It sounds like… his dad?

His eyes blow wide as he shoves you into his closet without warning. You decide to keep quiet, but you notice your panties are on the floor in perfect view as his father enters the room, telling Fushiguro to help move the rest of the boxes.

You can only hope he doesn’t notice but his eyes make direct contact with the fabric as he’s about to leave the room, shooting his son a shit eating grin.

You would be embarrassed, but you take note of the box of rubbers sitting on the shelf next to you. ‘That sneaky little fucker.’

You couldn’t complain, you wanted to feel all of him anyways. Your attention is turned back to the two people in front of you.

“That’s my boy!” the older man cheers as he humps the air, smacking it with his open palm as if it were a woman. He pats Megumi on the back before exiting the room.

“My son is the man!” he shouts proudly throughout the entire house.

You slowly emerge from the closet, hands forming in an ‘ok’ sign as if to say “Smooth.”

He laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of his nape. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

You wave him off, assuring him there’s no problem.

“So uh, see you next Saturday?”

You nod giving him a smile, turning around to leave his room. Saturdays were your favorite day, but you didn’t mind giving that up if it meant spending your free time with him. He had you wrapped around his little finger already and he didn’t even know it.

Maybe Fushiguro isn’t so bad after all.

Oops-

You mean Megumi.

[shitty17]

Rating every Gordon Freeman

Half life 1 gordon

Beloved and classic. Cannot beat the original! You gotta respect your roots. The man who started it all. He’s a tough quiet little redhead with a fun little pony tail. Fascinating design choices lead him to be a regular blank slate character who you can still pick out of the mass of similar ones by his iconic goatee and glasses. The early 90s art did a good job of showing you “this isn’t a giant beast of a killer man, this is your 40 something geometry teacher in a microwave with a gun” and that set the WHOLE precedent for Gordon’s character for me. The glasses, goatee, and defined cheek lines that seemed to be in every half life model at the time age him a touch more than 27, but if you stare at him long enough you can believe it. Plus, not a lot of detail to glean from a low poly model anyhow. His expression shows him as cool, level headed, and focused. He’s so fucking ORANGE holy shit. This is our very first Gordon! The fucking sexy SNATCHED little waist and chicken neck give him extra points for being a shitty little skinny legend. The metal diaper and looking like he’s about to give me detention because I spoke too loud in class docks tho.

9/10 Beloved classic Gordon who’s flaws can easily be waved away with “it was our first try”, and yet also make him a fun original stand out character.

Half life 2 Gordon

He is no longer my pain in the ass highschool teacher, he is now my bitchy gay college TA who rolls his eyes when the professor says some dumb shit and looks WAY too much like House MD if you get too close. Props for consistencey, this really is just a dolled up version of low poly Gordon. Still got his heavy brow and aged face creases so he looks more like a 30 something dad than a 27 y/o scientist, but that can be blamed on all the stress. Hes got bigger prettier eyes now. He’s still remaining cool and focused, but he’s getting upset. He’s getting distracted. He’s had enough already. And yet, he still finds it in himself to keep going. The new HEV is a VERY sexy little upgrade, maintaining core features such as keeping that waist cinched, and supporting his skinny chicken neck. Finally got RID of that diaper and replaced it with a stylish yet flirty dragon underbelly scale set. It do kinda give the vibe that his dick out tho, which is both hilarious and also pretty ballsy, pun not intended. The colors are not so orange now, which is good! Balanced it out with a lot of grey. Makes him easier to look at, but a little easier to glaze over. Everyone from my generation will know Gordon Freeman by these images, they’re iconic. A good medium between “a regular guy” and “rough tough white mchandsome fps protagonist”. Hairs a lil more of a pretty chestnut brown and still got that nice warm red tone to it. I can’t tell if these images are so iconic that it’s seen as the norm, or if I’ve seen this guys face so much that I’m used to it by now, but he does give off “just kinda of a mediocre guy design wise”. I like that about him. Gordon Freeman just being a regular dude is huge and important to his character. He’s been upgraded to be sleeker and cooler and that’s got him serious traction amongst fans but he falls a bit more to the “generic badass” bin with this. Still, a lot to love.

8/10: Brilliant, iconic, handsome, sleek, and cool to look at, but making him easy to sell action figures of detracts from his character. An upgrade visually but has yet to convince me that he really is as cool as he looks.

Half-life: Alyx

Sweet holy mother of Jesus Christ our lord.

Like. Where do I start. Okay I’ll start with the obvious. He’s cute now. He’s super fucking cute now. He no longer looks like Walter white. He looks like a young man. He looks like a barista you would get at Starbucks who’s voice has deepened from 5 years of T and he tells you to “have a nice day :)” in the sweetest of tones and you really do have a nice day because of it. He’s got big ole peepers now. His old man wrinkles have smoothed out. He’s got noticable birthmarks and freckles. His cranium is regular sized now instead of cartoonishly massive, making his hairline look less like it’s receding.

But also? The most important part? Even when he looks angry, even when he puts back on the cool focused serious look? Even when he tries to put on his classic badass look? It’s not convincing anyone any more. We know now. We know this is just a young man in a HEV suit. He’s not indestructible, he’s scared. Look at him. He clings to these weapons because they’re the only thing stopping everything else in the world from killing him. His brows are furrowed not because he’s pissed with blind rage, but because he has to focus and think and be careful or else he will get dropped. He’s hurt. He has taken damage to his suit. He is not indestructible unstoppable badass or the idol of freedom he’s been made out to be, he’s been sold as. This is a man. This is your friend. He needs your help as much as you need his. This in particular reflects the plight of society nowadays. In 2020, we have less and less faith in our governments and ruling classes, and the only faith we have left is feeling vulnerable and asking for help. This Gordon is relatable. This Gordon shows pain. This Gordon needs his family as much as they need him. This Gordon is being pushed too far, but he still says he can take it. This Gordon is way more badass.

They fucking nailed it. They made a perfect Gordon Freeman. I straight up could look at this dude for hours. He’s so cute I need to give him a bowl of soup and a kiss.

10/10. Unreal.

Bonus!

10000/10 if you squint Lamarrs eyes can look like Gordon’s eyebrows.

[mythiccheroacademia]

My bad, I’m just now seeing the rules😭 I’ll choose shiguraki, dabi, and Hawks for the time traveling kids reaction

A/N: You’re all good baby! I kept looking at this trying to come up with a fitting situation for them and then I dreamt about being in all three situations last night??? lmaooo it was both terrifying and lucky hehe~ Hopefully, it’s as good as I’m imagining it

Side Note: I’m writing this with a baby (thankfully, but unfortunately, not mine!) on my chest. Get on my level. Jk, but everyone say hi <3

Warnings: Cursing 

Shigaraki Tomura:

you and shigaraki came back from your daily walks 

aka, people watching

and you two planned to play on the PS4 later

whiles you’re setting up the TV in the living room, he goes to his room to get the console and remotes

he opens the door, sees a baby on his bed, then immediately shuts the door

goes to you and kurogiri

him: “any of you know why there’s a baby on my bed?”

kurogiri: a baby? 😐

you: a BABY!!!?? 😍💞💞

you rush in there and to your amazement, there is a baby no more than six or seven months, gurgling on the bed

kurogiri is giving tomura the most judgemental look and shigaraki kinda feels embarrassed even though he swears he didn’t do anything

“please don't tell me it’s yours”

“i can assure you, y/n and i use prot--”

“oh my gosh, shiggy, she looks just like you with my hair and nose!”

kurogiri is over it 

tomura is malfunctioning

you’re gushing over the baby girl, totally ignoring the fact that a literal child, who just so happened to look like a perfect mix between you and tomura, just appeared like a sick magic trick

was it a quirk?

was it time travel??

did tomura knock you up and everybody just somehow forgot???

so many questions, so little answers

in order to keep from getting a migraine, everybody followed your train of thought and just went along with it for now

shigaraki was less than pleased that his plans with you had been scrapped

he spent the day going shopping (stealing) for diapers, getting formula, buying clothes, and buying toys

feeding the baby was annoying

changing her was a nightmare

shigaraki threatened to disintegrate the child if she puked on him one more time

but everyone just adores her

she’s such a cutie

her toothless smile just warms up everybody’s hearts

even kurogiri is smitten

the day ends with you, the baby, and shigaraki in his room, getting ready for bed

he’s grumbling bc “can’t we just leave her on the couch or something”

you ignore him and he’s forced to get in bed bc no matter what, he’d never give up the chance to cuddle with you...even if it is with some stupid baby

after she falls asleep, you sigh and lean on his shoulder

“you really think she’s ours?” you ask

he wants to say i hope not, but the way you look at him with all the hope in the world makes his heart tingle 

instead of answering, he softly kisses your lips and tucks the both of you in

when you both wake up, the baby is gone--probably back to her timeline

you're a little sad and shigaraki only says what he says NOT BC HE THINKS IT’S TRUE OR SOMETHING but bc your misery makes him itch

“don’t worry. i’m sure we’ll see the brat again someday”

Dabi:

when you came back to your apartment, holding a load of groceries, you were quite surprised to see the situation at hand 

in the middle of your living room was dabi, at his big ass age, wrestling with a kid that couldn't be older than 12 

least to say, you were pissed 

“come on, fess up you little runt. did my old man have another kid”

“for the last time, NO! i’m yours!!”

“stop lying! my pull out game is too strong for that”

“EW! get off of me you staple-faced, burnt chicken nugget lookin’ fu--”

that’s when you intervened

“chicken nugget lookin’ what?” you questioned, looking at the boy with the look™️  

 the boy’s expression went from angry to scared in 0.2 seconds

dabi’s kind of impressed

“father. i-i was gonna say father”

“oh, that’s what i thought bc if you were gonna say what i thought your were gonna say, then i’d have to whoop your ass. but you weren’t, correct?”

“no ma’am”

“so we’re good?”

“yes ma’am”

“perfect. now what’s this about him being your father?”

dabi is taking out of his smugness and flinches under the heat of your glare

you ask him one time who he slept with and when he tells you you're crazy, you lunge at him

your kid lets you get a couple of good hits in before he decides to drop the news that he’s you two’s son of three from the future

you pause, his hand on your face and your fist in his hair

“deadass?” dabi says 

the boy nods his head and you two take the time to look at him

his features are undeniably yours and dabi’s; he was one of those kids that if you sat them next to one or the other, they could look like both parents

you two take it better than he thought you would 

“i always knew you wanted kids with me. simp”

dabi can’t even deny it. he just rolls his eyes and acts all tough 

then he asks, “you sure you’re not gonna get erased from the time continuum by telling us?”

the boy shrugs “i mean...i hope not”

it’s beyond y’all at this point

so you spend the day with the kid, who was named after Dabi (Touya Jr.), and it’s so obvious he’s a momma’s boy 

he helps you cook, set the table, and wash the dishes 

smiles at you like you’re the entire world

dabi is kind of jealous from all the attention you’re giving him 

fumes at the middle finger junior sneakily flips at him 

does it back 

claims to hate the kid but wipes the crumbs off his lip without hesitation

junior got the itis and is down for a nap

calls you two mom and dad before falling asleep 

you get all 🥺 and even dabi is a little nostalgic when junior disappears 

it’s quiet for a moment and then he says, 

“wanna do a practice round in baby-making. yknow? for the future”

you roll your eyes but you aint say no! 

Takami Keigo (Hawks):

hawks didn't expect to see a tiny kid on the edge of a building on his day off

there wasn't a lot that scared him, but he couldn't deny the fear hammering against his ribcage as he saw the child look around before jumping

thank goodness his speed wasn’t just talk

he caught the girl who didn't look a day past six 

he’s in the middle of giving her a huge lecture about safety and mental health, she just giggles and gives him the biggest kiss on the cheek 

“haha! i knew you’d catch me if i fall, papa~”

he’s too angry to even register what she called him

“that was totally dangerous, kid! what if i hadn't seen you? then what?”

“then i would fly” she said like it was the most obvious thing

he’s dumbstruck as two beautiful white wings sprout out of thin air and allow her to float next to the hero with ease 

hawks blinks bc yeah anyone could have wings, but he could tell that feather pattern from anywhere

it was his 

it was like his own fingerprint was staring at him 

did he accidentally knock someone up bc that would be a big uh-oh

y/n wouldn't like that at all

he asks the child who he is to her and she repeats, “papa~”

he then asks who the mother was and she goes, “mommy~”

she’s not the brightest crayon in the box, that’s for sure 

“what’s mommy’s name, kid,” he asks with the patience of a saint

“Takami Y/N~”

“you’re coming with me”

flys across the city with conviction

you’re lying on your bed, face mask on and reading a book in peace before your oh so wonderful boyfriend comes crashing through your open window

you don’t even flinch. so used to his surprise visits, you close the book and sigh

“to what do i owe the great pleasure of having you break into my house? again”

hawks holds the cute girl up, squishing her cheek as she laughs from the adventure they just went on

“mommy!”

“surprise!”

this time, you drop the book

eventually, with some cupcakes and chicken, the little girl tells you two about how she went to play with some kid and got zapped by a quirk and ended up here 

you also find out she’s the youngest of four

you look a little sick but keigo gives you a shit-eating grin

he’s so excited about having a family with you

you can’t deny the tingle in your heart

parades the girl around the house and they’re both laughing the same laugh, eyes bright with joy

it makes your heart hurt and now you have to join into the shenanigans 

you spend the day playing games, doing face masks, and reading books to fall asleep to

when you wake up, she’s gone but keigo’s arms are still firmly wrapped around your waist

“so now that you know i’m gonna trap you with four kids, when are you gonna pop the question?”  you joke 

but hawks isn’t laughing. instead, he’s smiling at you in a way that makes your eyes widen

he digs in his coat and pulls out the ring

“i was gonna try and make it a little more romantic. but why wait? so, what do ya say to taking my last name?”

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Can u do a dad Tom holland x mom black reader where they have a 2 year old son ( Elijah ) and a 1 month old daughter (Ellie ) and his fans are being mean because your baby girl is darker than her big brother and Tom tells them to stop on a livestream but they don’t and he takes a break because he more frustrated than reader is . And the next day y/n go to Toms parents house and y’all talk about it and y/n sobs ending in fluff

YOU WONT BELIEVE THE SWEAT I HAVE DRIPPED FOR THIS ASK, I DID DO A LITTLE OVERBOARD, NICE ASK, NICE COCK 👍🏽 OH AND I MADE A MISTAKE ABOUT THE NEXT DAY THING, I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT

warnings: I DONT KNOWWW, NO SMUT BUT SËX REFRENCES- FLUFF? AND CHILDRENN NOT PROOF READ BITCHES

T.H| TITTIESSSS

Tom smiled as he posted the picture, cuddling into his small daughter as you took care of your son. You both weren’t really doing anything just binge watching Soul Eater because you refused to watch love island.

“I don’t get this show, it’s terrible” “your terrible” you chuckled at him, noticing that Ellie was slowly starting to tear up. “I think someone’s hungry yeah? Come here Ellie” you cooed, Tom picking up the small child and placing her into your arms while he took Elijah, whos currently side tracked from TV, you pulled down your, Toms, oversized shirt to feed Ellie. Smiling as she sucked the soul out of you.

“You know-“ “we can’t have sex” “but Ellie gets to get your nipples and I don’t?” “Do you want her to starve?” “No I want to have sex” he clarified, rolling your eyes you placed some of her hair behind her ear.

Toms phone started to ding and he furrowed his eyebrows, he opened his phone and read the comments “it’s the girl being darker then the boy for me” “why is Ellie darker then Elijah?” “she’s a cheater- I told you Tom” and some trying to defend “y/n is literally darker then Tom, what did you expect? I’m so sorry this is happening” “did y’all really have to put the baby in this? We all know y/n doesn’t play about her kids”

“What’s wrong Tom?” You say, now playing with Eli’s hair. Tom only frowned at you “I’m tired of people thinking that they know most, at this point it’s really annoying” “what’s wrong Thomas?” You asked, more sternly as you pulled lee away, but she starts to cry some so you put her back.

“Nothing love, you hungry though?” He asked, trying not to make you feel anyway at the moment. “No I want you to tell me what’s wrong and right now Thomas, forreal” you made eye contact with him, raising an eyebrow. “I’m not telling you y/n” he simply says, getting up forgetting his phone and walking into the kitchen.

“I have to find out myself then!” You yell, taking his phone and scrolling through your guessing comments?. You aren’t the one to scroll through his phone at any cost because you trust him entirely, but he’s pissed and you need to find out why.

Patting lees diaper you sequenced you’re eyes to read the comments, zendaya saying “they are both so cute! Where have y’all been be seen I need to come over, like right now”, Jacob B commenting “look at lil man!” And others but as you continued to scroll down you found the negative ones.

Just reading them so fast as your blood line ran cold, you didn’t notice that Tom was coming back. “Y/n stop” he says, putting the glass of water down and reaching over Eli to take the phone but you snatched it back. “Is this what they think of me? Of my kids?” You say weakly, showing him the phone as your eyes started to water.

“Don’t listen to them, we brought Eli and Lee for ourself, not for them. Let’s just take a-“ his heart dropped as tears silently trailed down your cheeks, still reading the comments. “You are only making it worse, give me the phone Y/n” “no” “give me, the phone” he said madly, not at you but at others. He reached all the way over, watching out for the kids and taking the phone without a fight.

You detached lee and fixed yourself, lifting your knee and placing her on the pad of your thigh wiping your tears and you took her small hands.

Tom only through his phone on the nightstand and turned off the TV “what are you doing?” You ask him, “let’s take a nap yeah? I’ll when we wake up I’ll do a live or something to communicate with them” he took off his shirt and sat on the bed, sighing as you only seen the back of his head, he ran his hands through his hair, not letting them, his so called ‘fans’ get to him.

Tom laid down and threw the blankets over him, turning off the light and making it as dark as possible although it was only about 1 in the evening. “I don’t think I can go to sleep” you say as he turns in your direction, “then try darling, I really don’t want us to be stressed out love” he gave a smile, playing the the loose curls in Eli’s hair while looking at you.

“Yeah okay” you nod, Tom taking lee again while you took Eli. Eli smiled as he gave you a slimy kiss “ew!” You smiled, you let out a sniffle and Eli frowned at it, kissing your nose. You giggled and wiped it off, noticing an arm around your waist trying to pull you closer you came closer, Toms hand going down to yours and putting his fingers in between yours as you did the same and gave a squeeze. “I love you, y/n” he mumbles, his thumb brushing your knuckle. “I love you too”

“Ready?” He asked, you sitting next to him and the babies are sleep, you nod, “ready”. He started the live, about two minutes in everyone started to join. He took your hand and smiled down at you, returning it you kiss his cheek. Sooner or later he had about 6-9k and he cleared his throat,” I’m pretty sure you’ve all seen the comments and I’d like to ask all of you to stop” he simply asked, the comment bar flooded of hurtful words, they weren’t gonna stop anytime soon. “Lee is a child she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way, you not only hurting her your hurting my wife, MY wife” he pointed to his chest “you also hurting me, y/n doesn’t do SHIT-“ he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, rubbing his back.

“She doesn’t do shit but tries to show you how happy we are, for all of you saying that she’s cheating she isn’t, she’s been with me, do you see her skin?” He asked, looking at you and kissing your cheek “she has color, I don’t of course Ellie is going to be darker then her brother, they aren’t fucking twins!” He yells. He gets tired of it and pins one of the comments “maybe you should stick to your color and this wouldn’t of had to happen, you shouldn’t even be here”. “That’s the shit nobody should say, don’t talk to my wife like that you fuckin-“ “that’s it Thomas you asked, calm down” you whispered, his face red as his jaw is clenched, he bites his lip as he apologizes “I’m sorry, but please I just- I’ve worked so hard and found love, I found a wife. It makes me mad that you can’t accept that-that I can’t be happy without one paparazzi and news about me, I want a break and I want a family, and now that I have one none of you support me- or most” he refused to cry infront of them but is was heart clattering. “I-bye” he simply says, grabbing his phone and ending the live.

“You did your best-“ you get cut off by his phone ringing. His mom was calling, he instantly answered “yeah mom- yeah” he sighed “alright we’ll be over”. “They want us to come over” he stood up and took your hand, pulling you up with him he gave you a peck on the lips. “I love you Thomas” you wrap your arms around him. “I love you to, and I’m not going anywhere”

You and Thomas walked to the door with one car seat each in your hands, he knocked on the door and was instantly met with Sam “hey! Give them here-“ “wait give me lee!” Harry said, running up and taking the car seat from your hand making you laugh, Sam took the other and they both walked off to the kitchen with distant talks like “please be my taste tester” “I wanna take photos with you!”

Tom put the keys in your back pocket, walking in he called for his mom and she told them both to come to the livingroom. As you both walked dom sat up and gave you a hug while Nikki gave Thomas a hug. “I’m so sorry about those twats, your children are so beautiful” he rubbed your back slowly.

“Thank you” you whispered, hugging him back tightly. He let you go and rubbed your arms as he gave you a sweet smile, soon treading and Nikki gave you a hug “I love you and your children, we both support you so much and want you to know we are here for you, come sit” she stops hugging you and takes your hand, pulling you to the couch.

Tea was on the white coffee table and you and Tom sat on the mint grey couch, the couch you don’t touch if you live there. “It’s just-“ you sighed, Tom rubbing your back as you fought the tears. “I love your son so much and to think that I would ever hurt him-or you guys in anyway is just so hurtful, and having the pressure of everyone going against me and our child- comparing them as if they can stick up for themselves” you cried, you didn’t fight it. They are your family now, and forever will be. Tom didn’t like seeing you cry at all, it almost makes him cry, seeing you weep and vulnerable isn’t well for him because when he met you you were a strong, independent woman, and you still are but it hurts him too much.

“Yeah” dom nods, passing you a tissue and Tom takes it, pulling your face to him and patting under your eyes. “But they don’t matter, we are your family and we know from our hearts and our mind that you didn’t do anything wrong�� Nikki weakly smiles, seeing you cry really is heart breaking, you just gave birth a month ago and depression is so severe. “We love you y/n, your child is our grandchildren no doubt” dom smiles, reaching over and holding your hand gently. “I love you, you are so important to me, our children are so important to me, just all of us in general are so important to me, so important that I’d quit anything for you, for my children, it’s us, a household, a family” Thomas pulls you close.

Eli saying “yum! YAY! More!” In the background with Sam making you laugh, he ends up running to you with a spoon filled with pasta. “Taste! Yummy!” He smiles at you, his baby face and small teeth “hurry mommy!” You smile and open your mouth Eli feeding it to you and you hum in satisfaction. “It is yummy, who made it?” You asked, “I did! I helped sam” Sam walked up to the livingroom, leaning on the wall. “I’m coming!” Harry yells, airplaning lee into the livingroom “pshhhhh” Harry does sound effects, lee laughing making you all smile. Eli jumps in your lap and looks at your face “why are you crying mommy?” You let out a chuckle “because I love all of you” “love you to mommy” he hugs you, Harry handing lee to you and hugging her back, Tom joining as Sam walks closer and sits next to you, resting his head on your shoulder and soon everyone is group hugging. “Umm- your squeezing me!” Eli whispers, everyone laughing as you all just take in the whole thing, happy that this is your new family, other then your other precious family also.

[lubdubsworld]

Bird Bones

Chapter 1  /  Chapter 2  / Chapter 3/ Chapter 4

Chapter 5

“So, did you guys think about it?” Seokjin asked casually, watching me struggle back into my shoes after getting down from the examination table. He looked a little nervous as he stared at me and I bit my lips.

“I haven’t seen Jungkook in a while. He’s gone to Seoul with Hoseok for their dance showcase.” I said hesitantly. The last few weeks had been hectic, with Hoseok preparing for the showcase and me having to tell the administration I was pregnant. Surprisingly, most of my professors were kind about it, agreeing to share notes with me personally on days when I had to miss classes. I would miss out on a few lab credits because they coincided pretty closely with my due date but that was a whole six months away and I didn’t want to worry about it right now. 

Seokjin hummed in response and waited till I was sitting down in front of him before leveling a look at me. 

“I see and ….he would have to agree too...because?” Seokjin asked pointedly, and I flinched. 

 It was a loaded question, one that made my throat dry. 

We weren’t married. There was zero reason to have his approval to put the baby up for adoption. 

With Jungkook out of town , his parents had contacted me again about the NDA. I’d told them to sort it out with their son first before approaching me again , but I knew they were getting nervous. Jungkook was making it clear that he was sticking around and it was making everyone nervous.

Including me. 

“Its not... I’m not going to say no if he says no or anything like that. It’s just ... he asked me to keep him in the loop that’s it.” I protested. 

“I’m not saying anything.” He held his hands up. “ Just ....remember who he is, yeah? He’s not.... He’s not for you.”

It was hard to forget , I thought miserably, what with everyone throwing it at my face every day. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I continued to stay at Hoseok’s place while he was at the showcase. It was better than the dorm for sure and I knew that it only made people resent me more. As a professor in my college, Hoseok had a lot of perks and most of my peers thought i was enjoying them in exchange for sleeping with him.

On the weekend before he was due to come back home, Hoseok called me from his hotel room.

“How are you holding up?” He asked casually and I could hear voices in the background. I wanted to ask him about Jungkook but I didn’t.

“I’m fine. I got my check up and Seokjin oppa told me we could fix a date to meet Yoongi and Namjoon.” I said softly, settling into the comfortable couch and tugging on the phone line. 

“Hmm.... fair enough. I’ll let Jungkook know. He’s out with Sana tonight so-”

“Sana?” I felt my breath catch in surprise. 

“Oh, yeah. she tagged along....you didn’t know?” Hoseok said casually and I gulped.

“Uh...no.. I mean ...whatever...they’re....she’s his girlfriend, right...” I laughed, sounding incredibly hollow to my own ears. Hoseok would see right through it.

“Fiancee.” He said curtly.

“What?”

“She isn’t just a girlfriend. She’s his fiancee...he proposed to her last year on the Han river with a hundred grand ring.....” His tone was dry and emotionless and yet each word cut to the bone. I couldn’t fucking breathe.

“You’re....you’re trying to hurt me.” I accused hoarsely.

He growled.

“No, I’m fucking pissed that this thing , this fact that Jungkook is engaged to Sana has been true for a whole damn year and yet all of a sudden it fucking hurts you because you’re letting your emotions get the better of you... Have I not taught you anything, Dasom?” 

I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down, my breathing ragged. He was right. He was absolutely right but it stung because Jungkook was.... Jungkook was so kind. So ridiculously endearing with his childlike amazement, his adorable possessiveness over me and yet somehow  so non judgmental and so eager to be a part of the baby’s life and how on earth could I not like someone who only seemed to want to care for me?? 

And he was wrong. 

I wasn’t an idiot. I had no intention of building castles in the air, dreaming of a happily ever after with someone like Jungkook. I would get through this and things would go back to the way they were. 

Just me and.... well Just me. Alone. By myself. The way it has always been.  

I took a deep shuddering breath. I wasn’t up to explaining all this to Hoseok. Not tonight when he was clearly angry. 

“I hope the showcase goes well, oppa.” I whispered, hanging up before he could respond. The phone rang a second later and I left it off the hook after disconnecting it.. 

I sat there for a long time, staring into the darkness. I had to talk to Jungkook as soon as he got back. We needed a game plan. A clear end to this thing between us. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hoseok oppa thinks we should meet Yoongi and Namjoon this weekend. “ I said casually, watching Jungkook closely as he sipped his iced tea. He stopped for a second, eyes widening before landing on mine.

It was a late Sunday afternoon and he had agreed to meet me for coffee so we could talk about the dinner. He looked just as good as ever, bright and cheerful. The showcase had gone really well according to Hoseok and Jungkook had gotten offers from a whole bunch of entertainment agencies. 

“So soon?” He asked evenly, grip tightening on the drink. 

I shrugged staring at the long smooth fingers. Somedays i tried to remember that night. I couldn’t imagine us being graceful, having sex while drunk out of our minds . Had he been gentle? Rough? What did he like in bed? I vaguely remembered the finger shaped bruises on my wrists, like someone had gripped them together. 

Staring at his hands now, I wondered how it must’ve felt, being held like that. 

I shook my head to clear it. Nothing good would come from going down that path. 

“I’m thirteen weeks along now...First trimester is over ….there's not a lot of chance to miscarry and-”

“What the fuck why would you say that?” He whisper shouted and I frowned.

“Jungkook....”

“That’s our child you’re talking about! Don’t even say that word!”

I could only stare at him. 

“It’s going to be very difficult for you if you don’t distance yourself from this baby “ I said quietly.  And me. 

Jungkook just stared at me , his eyes blazing. 

“Our baby....  Say it. It’s  our  fucking baby. It’s not just a baby or this baby. It’s ours. We made it. Its’ going to...fucking look like us, and it’s going to get our traits and ….I just don’t understand how you can be so callous about something so amazing and----it’s our baby, Dasom...” He was looking at me in disbelief and I couldn’t take it anymore. 

“No it fucking isn’t!!!” I hissed angrily, my heart beating fast, “  It’s not ours, Jungkook. It’s... it’s not something we should be celebrating..... You and I... we’re a fucking mistake. That night was a fucking mistake and this, this baby is nothing more than an unfortunate soul that’s going to have to share the consequences of our horrendous mistake that night!” I felt tears sting. 

I refused to let his words get to me. To make me feel guilty. Jungkook with his golden life, with his perfectly gorgeous fiancee and his filthy rich parents could afford to wax poetic about the joys of parenting but i couldn’t. 

I was a poor fucking orphan with a mother who had only cared about what was between her legs. I had to fight tooth and nail just to break out of the mould everyone had made for me,. 

“Dasom-”

“No, stop...Just...stop and for once get rid of those rose tinted glasses you have on, and listen to me okay?  We’re going to give the baby up for adoption....He or she is going to be raised by kind, loving parents who can provide a stable happy environment . We’re going to stop talking to each other after that. You’re going to go get married to your Fiancee ….I’m going to go and try and build a life for myself. That’s what’s in our future....Not some utopian universe where we raise this child , taking turns changing diapers and weekends at the fucking zoo!!” I finished bitterly.

“Why do we have to stop talking to each other?” He shot back defiantly and i felt my pulse pound. 

I glared at him and he just kept staring back at me.

“Don’t-” I began but he held his hand up. 

“I told you , I’m not going to do everything my parents ask me to. I’m... I’m trying to build a life for myself too alright? I’m not going to just... I’m not married yet. I’m not married yet.” He repeated and I felt a laugh of disbelief bubble up inside me.

“What the fuck does that even mean? You’re engaged-”

“I was engaged before I was fucking born. “ He snapped, running fingers through his hair in evident frustration. “ Sana and I grew up together. We just...we’ve been told that we'll be together all our lives and its all we have ever known. But that doesn’t mean its too late for us to think about other things...other options...”

“And you’re saying I’m another option? You don’t even like me JeonJungkook-” i laughed in disbelief.

“I think you’re beautiful.” He said softly and I felt my jaw come unhinged. 

What.

 What?

“ I saw you two years ago when you dropped by the practice room to meet Hobi hyung.. I thought you were beautiful then... So wildly uncaring about what others thought and I thought you looked amazing with your long hair and easy smile...I still do.” He was staring right at me and i felt heat creep up my neck. 

I shook my head. 

“I’m not listening to this nonsense.” i said sharply, reaching for my bag from the chair next to me.

“Hyung knows... Its why he’s always telling you not to trust me.... He knows how I feel about you and he doesn’t want the competition...” He sneered and I felt my hackles rise. Jungkook’s jealousy towards Hoseok was the most irrational thing in the whole world and it pissed me off so bad. 

“Now I know you really are full of shit-”

“He’s in love with you. He’s always been in love with you and you’re too caught up in your own self pity to notice that.” He grabbed my wrist when I tried to get up from the chair. “ Sit the fuck down and let me finish.”

“You’re spouting nonsense. I’m not interested in it...” I hissed back and he laughed.

“Nonsense? I’ve never hidden how I felt about you. Don’t tell me you’ve never noticed me watching you , because everyone else has. Why else do you think Sana is so threatened? She knows... She knows I’m attracted to you...Knows that I want-----” He stopped and I knew he was going to say ‘you’ 

‘ Sana knows that I want you’ . 

I stared at him in disbelief. 

But he just barreled on,  completely unbothered by how upset I was. 

“ I want to get to know you better. And fine, even if you don’t want to keep the baby, there is no fucking way I’m going to stop talking to you.... “ He finished. 

I tried to gather my sense which felt like they’d been scattered to the seven winds. 

“Really, you talk about your fiancee so flippantly....but I heard you had a cozy little honeymoon in Seoul during your showcase...what of that?” I hated myself as soon as I said it because it made sound so horribly jealous. 

Jungkook snorted.

“Let me guess, Hobi hyung told you that huh? I bet he conveniently failed to mention that she was attending a different showcase , a whole damn district away? That we only went out for dinner one night and I was back in like an hour?” 

I stared at him, thrown . I felt confused and disoriented, not sure what was happening and why.

This had gone on long enough. 

I could not let this man do this to me. I just couldn’t. 

“Your parents met me again.” i said softly, staring right at him. “ They wanted me to sign the NDA. Did you tell them this? Can you go tell them this? Go break up with your fiancee, tell your daddy you want to date the  girl you knocked up while you were drunk out of your mind. And then, once he disowns you and kicks you out of your house and you have nowhere else to go, come see me. We’ll go out on a date, yeah?” 

 I waited for him to respond but he didn’t. So I stood up. I slung my bag up on my shoulders and stared down at him. 

“I’m meeting them on Saturday. If you want to be there, you can. And regardless of whether you turn up or not...I’m going. I’m giving the baby up for adoption and I’m getting on with my life. ” I said quietly. 

I walked out of the cafe without looking back. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi sat across from me, hands twisting nervously in his lap while Namjoon poured us some water from the cut class decanter on the table. Next to me, Jungkook looked subdued and upset, eyes darting between the two men on occasion. I hadn’t talked to him after my outburst at the cafe

I peered around the house, an expensive three bedroom flat located in a good neighborhood. It was decorated tastefully and I could tell that even Jungkook was reluctantly impressed by how clean and neat everything looked. I played with the hem of my blouse while Hoseok finished his phone call, not sure what to say or how to start. 

“How are you feeling, Dasom?” Namjoon asked finally, flashing me a smile with deep dimples on either cheeks. 

“I’m doing good. I’m fourteen weeks along now and the nausea has gone down.” 

Yoongi hummed.

“My sister says the first three months are the worst.” He smiled a little and I smiled back, taking in the soft curves of his face and the nervous fingers on the lap. He looked just as terrified as I felt. 

“I’m glad you guys could meet with us. We just want to say that we’re so grateful that you guys even considered us.” Namjoon said in a rush, eyes flooding with warmth as he glanced between me and Jungkook. I felt him stiffen next to me and reached out, curling my fingers around his, pulling him closer. I linked our fingers and squeezed lightly. He squeezed back. 

“We only want what’s best for the baby, right Kook?” I said softly. He looked up at me then and I felt my heart crack at the light sheen I saw there. 

“Yeah...I...I love the baby.” He whispered and I felt a lump in my throat. 

The past few weeks, I had found myself hanging out with him way too much for my liking. For some reason, Sana stopped talking to me. She would throw occasional glares at me but she stayed away. Jungkook was conspicuously respectful. Never crossing a line enough for me to kick him away. He would throw that occasional remark that implied he was interested and shrug it off when I rejected him again. 

But he also told me that he had always wanted a family first. A wife, two kids, picket fence and all that. He loved kids,  had always been the designated babysitter to his umpteen cousins. He loved babies and he wanted as many as his fututre wife would give him. And then without warning he had just stared at me.

I hadn’t trusted myself to respond to that. 

The mind games left me exhausted. I didn’t ….not like him. He was funny , sweet and intelligent. He liked talking and he liked listening. It was just hard to enjoy when I knew what he was . A chaebol heir to a fortune. He spoke of his family with a casually dismissive attitude, about how they didn’t really give a damn about who he married and that it wouldn't be a big deal if he broke up with Sana.

But I had to remind myself that he hadn’t done it. He hadn’t broken up with her. And that meant that no matter how dismissive he was, he knew that something like that wouldn’t go by without repercussions. The fantasy of Jungkook leaving his gorgeous girlfriend because he couldn’t live without me was just that, a fantasy.  

Hoseok’s voice broke me out of my reverie.

“They’re both too young to go through with this.... Its going to be painful but like Dasom says, its the baby we need to think about.” Hoseok had hung up the phone and he stared at Jungkook, his gaze softening when he saw how miserable the younger looked. 

I pulled myself together and watched Namjoon pull out a file, containing all the formalities we would have to go through. /As i heard him explain everything, his eyes clear and intelligent, his tone gentle and kind, I felt myself making my choice. Yoongi and Namjoon loved each other deeply . They leaned on each other, evident in the way they held hands every few minutes, smiling and reassuring each other. They loved each other and they could love this baby. 

They would love this baby. 

My mind was made up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You need a ride home?” Hoseok asked casually, two hours later after we had bid goodbye to Yoongi and Namjoon. 

Next to me Jungkook stiffened. 

“I’ll drive her.” He said curtly and Hoseok ignored him, still holding a hand out.

“That’s fine Oppa, Jungkook and I need to talk.” I said tiredly. We did. There was a whole lot of formalities to be done with regards to the adoption and I wanted to talk to him about the possibility of an open adoption. Just in case he was interested. 

“You can talk tomorrow. Its already past ten-” Hoseok began but Jungkook laughed, loud and jarring. 

“What you think I’ll have my way with her and knock her up? Bit too late to worry about that right?” Jungkook drawled next to me and I felt my eyes widen in shock.

“What the- Jungkook are you crazy? Apologize!!” I hissed but he glared back at Hoseok defiantly.

Hobi chuckled a bit.

“You’re really asking to get your ass kicked Kook-ah... I’d tone down the blatant disrespect if I were you....” He said , eyes narrowed dangerously. 

“Maybe I will, if you stop lying to Dasom about how you really feel about her.”

I lost it entirely, turning around to shove him away.

“Jungkook what the fuck?!” I shouted but he gripped my wrists, stopping me from hitting him again. 

“Tell her hyung....tell her how you picked up a fucking engagement ring in Seoul....? How you told Seokjin hyung that you were going to propose when she graduates because, let me quote you, ‘ she’s docile and adjusting. She’ll make a nice companion’“

I froze. I turned around to stare at Hoseok and felt my heart drop at the sharp sharp look of guilt om his face.

I stopped struggling against Jungkook, sagging against him when ice cold disbelief flooded my veins. 

No. No , it couldn’t be.  

“You-what?”  I whispered. 

Hoseok stared at me. 

“ Don’t tell me you didn’t see it coming.” He said blankly. I felt bile rise up my throat. 

“Oppa-”

“Don’t fucking call me that.” Hoseok snapped. 

I flinched when Jungkook’s grip tightened around me , a growl making his chest tremble. 

“Hyung , don’t-” He began angrily but Hoseok cut him off, staring at me with blazing eyes. 

“You’re always around me ..” Hoseok ground out, “ You’re literally the only person I’ve known and loved all my life.... So sue me for wanting to take responsibility for you and-”

“I’m not your responsibility.....I’m twenty years old...”

“And look how well you’re doing yeah? Knocked up with some guy’s bastard .....Just like your moth-”

I felt Jungkook move behind me and my instinct kicked in. I turned quickly gripping his arms and putting myself between them to stop him from lunging at Hoseok. 

Hoseok looked unapologetic as he stared at me. 

“If you marry me, you’ll at least be respectable.” He said softly and it was like a veil getting torn, showing him for who he really was. 

Someone who thought I was a charity case. A poor , flailing mess of a human that needed his charity to survive. 

I nodded quietly. 

“Okay. Thank you for lowering yourself enough to consider marriage with someone like me....” I said softly and he hissed.

“That’s not what I-”

“That’s exactly what you meant.” I said sharply, turning around. I couldn’t look at him anymore.

“Take me back to the dorms, yeah?” I looked at Jungkook and he nodded.

“Anything you want.” He whispered, wrapping his arms around me before throwing one last glare at Hoseok. 

Author’s note : Send me an ask about what you thought and I will love you forever <3

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Ninety-Four [PT.1]

Words: 3.1k

Warning(s): explicit language, mentions of substance abuse

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NIKKI 

"My wife doesn't tell me she's having an important surgery done, no, no, she just tells her girl friend Sharise who tells Vinnie and I'm the last one to fucking know about it." I tell Amber. 

"I didn't wanna stress him out." Vivian insists, raising her brows. 

"No, you just don't wanna keep me in the know just to piss me off." I argue. 

"Nikki, go to hell." She tells me. 

"You're not talking to him like that in here," Amber scolds her. "Just like he's not talking to you like that. We aren't doing that anymore. That was the issue last week. I didn't stop you two from talking trashy to each other and it got you where you are right now." She states. "Vivian, why didn't you tell Nikki about your procedure?" 

"I didn't even tell the father of my kid I was having it done--I'm just a private person." She tells her. 

"Duff doesn't even know?" 

"No, he doesn't, and he's not going to." She looks at me. 

Note to self: call Duff when she leaves. 

"Why haven't you him?" Amber asks her next. 

"Because I was freaking out over it enough as it was. I didn't need more people freaking out over it." She says. "So I just told Sharise because she was the one driving me home from it."

Amber just raises her brows and thinks for a second, her lips pursed. 

"You see what I have to deal with?" I ask as I motion to Viv. 

"Nikki, please." Vivian rolls her eyes. 

"And she wonders why I won't fuck her. She doesn't deserve it at the moment." I add. 

"Your dick isn't made of gold, Nikki, it's some trophy I should have to earn--especially when you clearly have no qualms tossing it around like a hot potato from one pussy to the next." 

"That's not how you were acting last week." I argue. "

"But you won't fuck me because I'm not Vanity." She says back. 

"I won't fuck you because the thought of screwing a pregnant chick makes my skin crawl." I admit. 

"You'll go down on me while I'm on the rag but me being eleven weeks pregnant--barely showing--is where you draw the line?" 

"Right, sorry, 'I won't fuck you because the thought of screwing a pregnant chick makes my skin crawl when she's pregnant with a baby she cheated on me to conceive,' there, that's better." I correct myself. 

"At least I know the lovechild I have, exists. Do I even wanna think about the girls you've probably knocked up across the globe the last several years?" She accuses me. 

"Unlike you, dear, I know how to fucking use condoms." I cut back at her.

"Gee, can't imagine where I learned to hate condoms in the first place." She sarcastically adds. 

"Fuck if I know, you were telling me to take the damn thing off the first time we even had sex, little miss, 'I'm a virgin', 'this is my first time,' which looking back now is so obviously bullshit." I scoff. 

"I was until you fucking corrupted me." 

"My apologies, I didn't realize I was creating a cum monster whose main ambition was to procreate." 

"And I didn't realize I was creating a codependent junkie." She doesn't hesitate to throw back at me and we're both silent just enough for Amber to cut in. 

"I am going to give you two homework." She says, sighing, glancing at the clock. 

We're out of time. 

"I want you two to write each other a letter, one that doesn't involve putting one another down, and I want you to pick a time--any experience or memory with on another--that you consider the happiest you've been with each other, and I want you to mail them to each other, and next visit you'll read each other's letters back to one another to remind that person what they wrote. Sound easy?"

We just look at each other, not saying a word. 

I didn't want to waste my time writing something for her that she'd just rip up without reading, and I knew she would, and I could see she didn't want to do that, either.

I'm great at song writing...but love letters? 

I think back to the last love letter I wrote for Viv...the one in the back of her Bible I gave to her. 

It kind of hurts that one of the last physical confessions of love I gave to her was practically a suicide note. 

I close my eyes and groan, rubbing my forehead. 

Fuck.

I try to think back to my happiest time with her over the last years. 

Like flicking through the index of my mind--as best as I can, at least…

I let out a heavy sigh as I flip from channel to channel, chewing my gum, getting frustrated when I can't find anything interesting to watch. 

"Are you gonna find a channel and stick to it or are you gonna keep flipping through the same channels and expect programming to change in a matter of seconds?" Vivian asks in a borderline snap, getting aggravated with me. 

I just roll my jaw and turn the T.V. off, tossing the remote onto the coffee table. 

"I didn't say turn it off, Nikki, you can watch T.V., just pick a channel and stick to it." She sighs, her Bible still in hand, the pad she's using to take notes in, in her lap. 

"No. You just read your shit in peace and quiet. Sorry for the interruption." I reply, passively. 

"Nikki, turn the T.V. back on and watch it." 

"I'm good." I state. 

"Ugh, you are such a whiney baby." She mumbles and I raise my brows, looking at her. 

"I'm a what?" I ask, and she looks at me. 

"A whiney baby." 

"A whiney baby?" 

"Yeah." She says it surely. 

I'm grabbing her socked foot that's in my lap, making her squeal, her Bible and notepad falling in the floor when she kicks at me as I start tickling her foot. 

"Nikki, stop!" She laughs out, sitting up and trying to fight me off of her. 

"No, I'm a whiney baby remember?" I remind her, letting her foot go, getting on top of her, my hands moving to her waist, making her laugh again, trying to push me off of her. 

I lean down and kiss her exposed neck, and stop tickling her, instead wrapping my arm under her, pulling her against me, settling between her legs. 

She sighs and kisses me when I lean down to her. 

Once we pull away for air, I run my thumb over her lip and she blinks up at me, slowly. 

I can tell she's thinking, "what the hell is this? What are we doing? We aren't dating, we're not just friends, though, so what are we, Sixx?" 

I don't know, either. 

I'd tell her that but I don't want to freak her out or something. 

I like her, a lot...more than a lot…

"What is it?" She asks me, and I realize I've just been staring at her. 

"I, uh...I'm not really seeing anyone else anymore, you know?" I say, hoping she gets the hint, and she raises her brows a little. 

"Oh." She replies.

"Not that it's a big deal or anything." I add. 

"I wasn't thinking it was." She shakes her head a little...but I can practically see her doing little mental cartwheels and screaming out with joy. 

I just smile at her, kissing her again.

I wrinkle my nose at the memory, not quite sure if that's when I was at my happiest with her. 

I just decide to keep digging through more of my memory--what's left of it, that is--until I'm grabbing my pen, and writing away at the paper. 

"Shhh, shh, you're gonna wake her up!" Vivian whisper yells at me as she holds a sleeping Skylar, the little baby wrapped up in a thick blanket, pacifier in mouth, knocked out cold.

"It's nearly 5:00a.m., what the hell are you doing up?" I ask her, trying to talk straight after a night of booze and blow. 

"She hasn't slept since midnight. I've been trying everything but she just dozes for a few minutes and then wakes back up and whines." She explains.

She looks tired...exhausted, really. 

"You want me to hold her and you go to bed?"

"She doesn't like you, the second she gets the feelings you're holding her, she'll wake you screaming." She reminds me. 

"She likes me." I argue. 

"Nikki, she purposely pees on you anytime you change her diaper, she gets antsy when you hold her--not to mention the amount of times you weren't paying attention and put her clothes on backwards or inside out and she pitches a fit." 

"Hey, trying to dress a squirmy kid is military-grade patience training. If you try to perfect whatever it is she's wearing, she gets irritated and just wants down and starts moving around more and making it more difficult to get some clothes on her." She just chuckles a little and gets quiet in the light of the little reading lamp, her eyes closing slowly. 

"Viv," 

"Hmm?"

"Go put the baby in the little crib thing Sharise brought over and go lay down." I tell her, quietly. 

"I'm fine where I'm at." She insists, but I know she's not. 

I take the chance and gently pick Skylar up, causing Vivian to say, "Nikki, don't wake her up," and I carefully make sure not to wake her as I carry her to the guest bedroom and put her in her playpen on her back like Sharise drilled into mine and Viv's heads to be sure of. 

She doesn't wake up, and when I get back to the living room, Vivian's asleep in her chair, cuddled under the blanket she had Skylar under. 

"Alright," I nudge her awake and she hums, furrowing her brows. "C'mon," I say to her, and she reaches her hands out. "What is it?" I ask her. 

"Can you carry me?" She asks and I sigh out. 

"Yeah, baby," I don't tell her, 'no,' despite not knowing whether or not we'll get to the bedroom because I'm tired and I know she obviously is, too, and she's not light as a feather--which will just make me more tired by the time I head to the bedroom. 

I scoop her up and make it to the bed, only nearly dropping her once due to losing my footing--which that's not her fault. That's just the evidence of my night out. 

When I lay her on the bed and pull my clothes off, crawling in beside her, she's snuggling up to me under the covers.

"You smell good." She mumbles to me. 

"I don't know how. I smell like cologne, sweat, and booze." I mumble back, my eyes closed. 

"You smell good." She repeats it. 

"You do, too." I reply. 

"I showered. You should try it some time." She says. 

"Okay, Sixx, don't make me whoop your ass at five in the morning." I tell her, keeping my eyes closed, and she giggles, pressing her lips to my cheek, and my jaw, her nails trailing down my chest to my abdomen, deliberately running over the trail of hair leading down to my…

"It's five in the morning." I groan out, biting back a moan when her hand wraps around me, another kiss being pressed to my cheek. 

"We can be done in a couple minutes." She tells me. 

"I thought you were tired." I reply, trying to wake myself back up being that a certain part of me is up and alert. I rake my hands down my face as she straddles me, before looking up at her. "You're like those spiders that wait for the males to be vulnerable then they fuck 'em and kill 'em." I add, despite my hands running up her thighs to her waist…

"You always complain about early morning sex but then by seven o'clock you're the one not letting me tap out." She reminds me. 

I just grab her hips and push her off of me before getting on her, making her laugh before my mouth catches hers, my teeth bitting at her lip before my tongue smoothes over it, making her moan softly. 

By the time we're finished and satisfied, I'm getting off of her with deep breaths, the both of us gasping for air, covered in sweat--even our hair. 

We don't hear Skylar down the hall which is a good sign that she's still asleep. 

It's weird having a baby in the house. I know it's temporary, until Vince and Sharise get back from their little Florida getaway, but it's odd taking care of someone else aside from Vivian.

I wonder what it would be like if Viv would've actually been pregnant when we got married like she thought she was. 

We'd have a two year old by now. 

How fucking bizarre would that be raising a kid in this life at the moment. 

Sure, Vince is doing it, but that's because Sharise is solid as a fucking rock. 

I'd take a bullet for Vivian--fucking die for her--but she's not solid like that, not right now, at least. She used to be. 

I mean she's still sober as shit but sobriety doesn't help much when you're wired even though you don't have a drop of anything in your system.

Look at me, like I'm one to be talking about dependability.

I look over at her, she's passed out, damp red hair across her pillow, covers pulled over her shoulder…

I reach over and run my fingertips across her cheek, the palm of my hand moving up to smooth over her hair as rays of sun start to filter through the small parting in the blackout curtains.

I'd love to have a kid in a couple years--maybe even within the next year--it just depends on the band, whether we're where we need to be by then or not...whether me and Viv are where we need to be or not, too. 

Which as of right now, we're great. 

We're more than great. 

We haven't argued in two weeks. 

Two fucking weeks. 

Who the hell goes that long without arguing? Certainly not us, but here we are. 

We weren't fighting as much because we were having sex like bunnies. I'm talking at least twice a day--Twice. A. Day. For two and a half weeks. 

Looking back, I know it's because she was in the wake of a miscarriage, I was in the wake of Vince and Razzle's tragedy, we were both craving a quick fix and I guess sex is how we were illusioned into believing we were healing. 

In reality we obviously weren't solving anything, just brushing it under the rug, but it was honestly the happiest I had been with her for our marriage. 

It was peaceful. We weren't at each other's throats. We weren't at war. We looked forward to seeing each other and spending time with each other, and it was the closest we got to being how we were when we were just dating...so that, for me at that time, was the happiest I remember us being.

The next day I'm taking my enveloped and stamped letter down to the mailbox in the hall near the recreation room, passing by Amber on my way, seeing her nod at me in acknowledgment before I'm halting myself and coming back to see her. 

"Hey, Doc, I need a word." I tell her. 

"Can it wait, Mr. Sixx, I'm running late for a meeting?" 

"I wanna know why having sex with my wife is a bad thing?" I ask, and she stops and looks at me. 

"It's not. Nobody said it was." She tells me. 

"You told me it might jeopardize our progress if we move too fast." 

"Because it very well could. You both have co-dependence intertwined in your sex lives." She explains.

"Well, I don't know if you've been paying attention to the last couple sessions but my wife has needs right now. And not having sex with her right now is jeopardizing our progress because she thinks something's wrong with her." 

"But you've told me, and her, you don't desire her because she's currently carrying another man's child."

"I've been thinking about it and I told her I'd work this out with her and how I've acted towards her is kinda contradictory to that." I admit. "And I can't go home and screw her into next week because you've got me paranoid about messing things up, now." 

"Have you told her my opinion on sex in your relationship as of now?" 

"No."

"Well, then, tell her about it and I'll take the blame for it." 

"I don't want you to take the blame for anything, I want you to 'ok' me banging my wife." 

"If you want to, 'bang,' your wife, then you can do that. There's not a law in the universe barring you from getting intimate with her."

"Sure as shit feels like it." I argue. 

"Tell you what, you talk to her about it--tell her my opinion--and we'll touch on it in the next session." She suggests. 

"Pun intended?" I ask and she furrows her brows, looking unamused. 

"...Okay, nevermind." I mumble. 

"I'll see you Friday for your session with the boys, have a good day." She tells me, giving me a nod before walking away. 

I just shake my head a little, irritated, and drop my letter in the mail box, heading to the payphone to try to call Vivian. 

"Hello?" She answers on the second ring and I clear my throat. 

"H-Hey, it's me," I say, and she's quiet for a moment. 

"Hey," she finally answers and I let out a breath of relief. 

"Do you wanna visit tomorrow? I need to talk to you about something." I tell her. 

"Is this where you tell me you're filing for a divorce afterall?" She asks and I rub my lips together. 

"No, Viv, it's not. It's about our sex thing." I struggle trying to define it. 

"Can we even have a sex thing if we aren't even having sex?" 

"Ha. Ha. Smartass." I state. "Seriously, you wanna come?" 

"More than you know." She replies and I can't help but laugh. 

"Pun not intended." She adds. "I'll be there around nine o'clock, if that's okay? I have another appointment to check on the baby since the surgery and then I'm gonna try to go shopping for some decently healthy things because I'm gaining too much weight at the moment." 

"You're pregnant--that's your excuse to eat whatever the fuck you want, when you want it, isn't? Like a chick liberation thing or something." 

"I'm eating too much junk, I don't want to pop out a fifteen pound baby. My pussy will rip to my ass." She says and I get a horrifying image. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, Nikki, I gotta go." 

"Alright, see you then. Bye, baby." 

"Bye." She replies softly before hanging up.

I pick at the inside of my lip with my teeth, another thought coming to mind...and my eyes shift to my pinky ring on my right hand...the same one I'd proposed to Vivian with back in '83.

[littlebabycrybtch]

anyways, autistic adult here going out to all the autism parents out there;;; stop fucking bragging about abusing your autistic kids. i lived through my autistic childhood, you havent, you need to hear me out. stop posting your horrible ‘inspirational stories’ about how happy you are that you ‘pushed through’ and did something awful and distressing to your child in an effort to make them normal. it is so harmful and so disgusting for autistic people to have to hear about. those stories make me wanna gag. they give me physical discomfort, the way these people are so... Proud of themselves, for thinking they are ‘eradicating’ these evil autism symptoms, like the symptoms arent just an inherent fucking PART of their child they destroyed out of blind ignorant ‘care’. fucking listen to yourself. you did not help them. i dont care that they learned some new (usually unnecessary and performative) neurotypical skill you had been pushing on them for years. i dont care how fuzzy inside that makes you feel. i dont care about whatever you come up with that proves their ‘progress’. no. you were projecting your frustrations. you were pressuring them into smth they didnt need. you didnt Fucking help them. you made them Conform. you Hurt them to make them act like everyone else, bc you let yourself become that convinced that their autism is whats damaging them, and not the outside world that tries to dismantle what they are on the daily, for no fucking REASON besides irrationally projecting your own standards and ideals onto them. the ‘cure’ for autism is not ‘acting normal’, for gods sake. you Punished them for being autistic instead of accepting it and accommodating them. frankly, no matter your real intention, its selfish.

like. im sorry but im livid, i am TIRED of seeing this kind of shit encouraged everywhere. forcing your kid into meltdowns unless it is a 110% safety concern, is abuse and disability discrimination, especially when you are trying to force them to be ‘normal’ by punishing them in these awful prejudiced ways until they meet YOUR idealized standards of functioning and ‘quality of life’, which is self centered for gods sake! like! nah man actually im totally fine with some of my symptoms if you people would just leave me the fuck alone about it??? i like stimming, i like special interests, my ‘sensory issues’ can become blissful when i find the right sensory experience, my struggle to communicate has given me so many beautiful Alternatives and connected me with so many people. im fucking fine, i dont always need to bend to you, you can bend to me sometimes, okay? like. smh, neurotypicals/abled people, society revolves around you, sure, but that doesnt mean someone being Different from you makes them the wrong or unhealthy one... they can be Perfectly happy even though they dont live the way you do, and to think otherwise is again, just really self centered. why are you the default? why is YOUR HAPPINESS with YOUR LIFE the default standard??? someone being different from you doesnt always mean their existence automatically Pains them, or that its Lesser or Worse. accommodation and understanding does a hell of a lot better for somebody than trying to just force them to act how you do under the ignorant assumption that it Must be inherently better for them and their existence. “but- things would be easier for them if they were normal right! thats just how the world is!” cool. but they arent. listen to me. They Arent. just fucking accept that, and focus on fixing the obviously bigger issue, the whole ‘WORLD’ part that rejects everything abnormal, jesus christ. like honestly, thats the worst part about being ‘abnormal’, how the outside world fucking treats you. its how they wont fucking let you exist and wont get off their ass to try and understand or support you, without conditions that include ‘copy me as best as you can so its easier for me’. the worst part is that the people who ‘support’ you view that support as wittling you into something less difficult for them to ‘help’ at the expense of your fucking basic comforts or happiness, and they still think theyre doing you a noble favor by making you like themselves. ffs. guys. stop abusing your kids. stop.

“well guys, my autistic kid wouldnt stop pissing themselves so i just stopped buying diapers and made them sit on the toilet for 6 hours, and guess what, they use the toilet the Right way now! :)” “my kid wouldnt hug me or say i love you, so i held them down on the bed till they stopped fighting my affection! now we hug all the time!” “i took away my childs favorite item until they were able to verbally ask for it back. now they know how to say “please”. they must be SO much happier!” i need for you to listen to me right now. you are not fixing them. you are not HELPING THEM. you are breaking them into your neurotypical life like a pair of fucking tennis shoes. its for you. you are conditioning them, with trauma. the fact that you dont see that is a Disturbing display of how little you actually are trying to understand about your child’s life, or frankly anybody elses experiences besides yours. Leave them the fuck alone. you really wanna help your autistic kid fit into the world? dont punish them for stimming, tell ppl in public to stop fucking staring, bc it is their fucking problem. dont force your type of affection or communication, pay some fuckin attention and you’ll start noticing the ways in which THEY communicate with you, which is just as fine. and for the love of god my dude! buy diapers! they exist for a reason! just buy your fucking child their fucking diapers. ill kick your ass oh my God, 

[amarauder]

Criminal Girl Relates to Garfield - Percy Jackson x Reader

                                005. criminal girl relates to garfield 

PAIRING; High School AU!  Percy Jackson x Reader

REQUEST; Not Applicable

GODLY PARENT; Not Applicable

DATE; June 12th, 2020

WORD COUNT; 8053

WARNING; Bruh so freaking much. friends and families being dicks, panic attacks, crying and pubic humiliation, you're gonna read this and just keep cringing because of reader's dumb ass.

A/N; I think I like High School and Soulmate AUs too much. This isn't a soulmate AU. It was going to originally be but it just didn't match with the plot so I didn't. Still this is my first one and I had so much fun writing it. I think I just related to this reader more than normal. I think this is my favorite one shot to be honest. I'm so happy, I feel like I've fallen in love with writing again. The last few one shots I've just had the best time writing them and it's been difficult to stop writing.

TRAILER; Reader is Percy Jackson's soulmate, potentially a criminal and more than kind of cute.

REQUESTED BY; Not Applicable

-

Y/N was more than ready for this week to be over. It had started out horribly and only got worse as the days ran their course.

On Monday her Aunt's insane dog, that she had been forced to dog sit, had torn up her favorite shirt. On Tuesday she had forgotten her entire binder at home and received zeros on all of her assignments, and then one of her exams for being blamed for talking when it had really been the kid behind her. On Wednesday, Y/N was supposed to be presenting one of the most important projects of the entire semester in her first period only for her car refusing to start. Of course, when her Dad came home it ran perfectly. Thursday she had found out her position as President of the Economics Club had been handed over to some kid she didn't even know, despite how long she had been working for it. Friday, she had found out her best friend since kindergarten had lied to her face and was hanging out with a girl she loathed.

Her best friend ditching her had hurt her the most. It left an ugly slimy feeling in her chest that felt like some kid attempting to learn CPR for the first time, except she was the mannequin every time she thought of them hanging out together. Despite the chest compression, her self-depreciating thoughts never seemed to leave her. It was like she was trying to torture herself which didn't hurt any less.

To say the least, Y/N was completely drained. Blinking took way too much effort, and yawns seemed to be effortless. The kind of tired that took over after crying too much, so stress relieving that the tightness in her chest released, leaving her slap happy.

After grabbing two boxes of mac and cheese and a huge jug of orange juice, Y/N was on her way to her car. The bagger asked her if she needed any help carrying everything to her car.

She stared blankly at him for a few seconds before looking at her three items. He smiled sheepishly and Y/N felt fortunate to have been blessed with more brains than him.

It wasn't until she reached her car and caught sight of her reflection that she wondered if he had asked because she looked so miserable.

His so called thoughtfulness really didn't make her feel any better. In fact she felt worse. It was like when her Mother's wine group would come over and compare stories of who had been more disrespected. From grocers deciding they were age appropriate to buy wine without asking for an ID to being called Ma'am instead of Miss, Y/N had heard it all. Somehow it all had to do with old age and the grocery store. The wonders of Motherhood in the suburbs.

Placing her groceries on top of her car, she tried to unlatch the trunk. It wouldn't budge.

Hmm, Y/N was pretty sure she had left her it unlocked. Whatever. She wouldn't put it past herself if she had forgotten to lock it.

But when she tried to unlock it, nothing happened. Her car didn't beep or flash it's stupid lights, or anything. The battery in her key had been flickering on and off all week, it was the reason her car wouldn't start on Wednesday morning. But her Dad had said it had at least a few months of life left, not three days.

Her stomach dropped and she felt unshed tears build up in her eyes. Not now, not today. She had enough this week.

Her thumb hovered over the unlock button once more. Y/N almost didn't want to press it, because that would mean finding out her fate and she just wasn't that kind of girl.

She did it anyway. And the old piece of junk sat there like it was ready to retire to the car graveyard. Y/N wasn't ready for her freedom to retire so quickly.

Feeling her tears build up again, more rapidly this time, she dug the palm of her hand into her eyes and leaned against the car. Her throat tightened. She promised herself she wouldn't cry anymore today. She promised...

"You're okay, you're okay, you're okay," she whispered to herself, her voice to low to crack. Face screwed shut and her toes curled to will the tightness in her throat away.

The tears eventually made it through which only made her want to cry harder. She was so embarassed. Thoughts ran wild, making her panic harder to control.

How was she going to get home?

How was she going to pay for her car to be fixed?

She really didn't want to go back to walking.

Wouldn't her parents be mad?

What if this was one of those stupid kidnapping schemes that she had seen during a school assembly?

Don't be stupid. Calm down. Focus.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a lady with her dog, eye Y/N warily. A man sitting in his car with his feet propped up on the dashboard and a cigarette hanging between his finger laughed at her despair then ended up in a coughing fit. A woman ushered her child away, who was pointing at her, and gave Y/N a dirty look.

Y/N remained like that until her Mother's advice that she never took to heart rang through her, "Pick yourself up. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Life isn't that hard."

She was right and Y/N wiped her tears away hurriedly.

As the knots in her stomach washed away, a new one settled it self in her chest. She was pissed. Furious at life for making her feel like shit, betrayed by her best friend, grades flustering down to nothing, and a position she worked harder than anything in the world for was snatched away before she could even think of savoring it.

It was just shit and completely unfair.

Wiping her tears, Y/N turned towards the driver's handle and pulled on it so hard, that her feet started to slip and she fell on her but.

She could have screamed, but instead she started to curse loudly and kick her car still laying down. She just about to kick the car for the sixth time when someone said behind her, "Uhh, hey, it would be really cool if you could stop trying to destroy my car? I don't know what he did to you, but at this point I think you're in danger of giving him PTSD."

Turning around, she noticed a blurry figure. Tears were still in her eyes making it hard for her to make out who it was but she could tell closing her eyes that he felt awkward. Hell, her guardian angel, no devil at this point, probably felt awkward.

When she blinked her tears away she saw him look suprised, and stumble back a few steps as if her presence shocked him. Which was stupid because unless there was some other person trying to break into the car, she didn't know why he was acting like she had come out of nowhere.

"This is my car, dude."

The teen scratched his neck, then pressed his car keys and suddenly the piece of junk came to life. She blinked hard, trying to comprehend what had just happened in front of her.

A flash of heat surged up her body that couldn't have came up from the exhaust pipe right next to her. She couldn't have been more aggravated and embarrassed. The guy seemed to realize that, because he shifted his weight to his side as he glanced at her. He was right, she was an idiot.

Quickly mumbling an apology, she ran off into the parking lot. Her car had to be around here somewhere and Y/N had never been more than ever determined to find it, or maybe just determined to get away from this situation as soon as possible.

She found it in the exact same spot, just a few rows away. Her brain kept replaying and replaying her embarrassing moment over and over again, leaving her to cringe and try to shoo it away.

If there was a list for the most embarrassing things Y/N had ever done, this would be on the top of the list. She could imagine herself years later, watching her husband struggling to change their kid's diaper as she laughed and talked about this. But right now all Y/N wanted to do was forget that she even existed.

It almost funny the amount of relief she felt just to have her car unlock. Her car, her piece of junk did it's little half-hearted beep, but it sounded rejuvenated as if it knew what she had gone through just for it.

She started the engine, and then let her forehead rest against the wheel in relief. At least that went well.

She was in the middle of her breather when a knock on her window startled her. Y/N took a few more seconds to herself before looking up and seeing the boy from before looking more awkward than when she he was before.

She rolled down the window, and right when he opened his mouth to speak the engine died.

"No," she whispered to herself, her stomach sinking, "No, no, no."

"Um, here's your groceries?" the boy said with a smile, but Y/N only opened the engine after getting out of her car. He stood there for a second before setting them inside the drivers seat and following her. He leaned over the hood and started to hack violently. The engine was fuming and Y/N wanted to cry for what seemed the millionth time that day. "Did you beat this one up too?"

She gave him a look but he only smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, it just slips out sometimes."

"It's okay... You're a boy."

The boy smiled. Did she just notice now? "Nice observation."

"Do you know anything about cars?"

"I know they aren't supposed to smell like that."

Pursing her lips, she rolled her eyes, "Thanks, so helpful."

"I try."

Letting out a laugh of disbelief, she leaned against the car and groaned. What was she going to do know? Even though breaking into the guys car was one of extremely embarrassing, she had been filled with a little bit of hope. The shitty day would end and she could go home. But now... There was no decent solution.

"Umm, would you want a ride in my car?" Y/N raised an eyebrow and he tried to hurriedly explain, "It's just I saw the sticker on your back window and we go to the same school. My Mom would kill me if I just left you here, so..."

-

The car ride home was so awkwardly silent, Y/N had even asked for his name.

"Percy Jackson," he said and flashed her a smile that she didn't return. She was too tired, and this guy was too happy. He probably shit out sunshine rays and Y/N just... was not about that life. Plus, his name sounded irkingly familiar, as if he had been in one of her previous classes.

"Nice to meet you," she said after a while, her imaginary Mother shaking her fist at the girl during that silent moment, "I'm Y/N L/N."

"Y/N," he repeated, and she almost looked for that feeling that all her friends talked about. The one where their stomachs churned pleasantly and it seemed that they don't even remember what happened before and after seeing him. All the memories from that day were separate. The life they knew before and after her friends met the one. But there was nothing, no shocking realization or fireworks. She could have just met Zeus himself and Y/N wouldn't be able to tell the difference. "Nice name."

"Thanks," she whispered quietly and played with the hem of her shoe. She had originally placed it on the dashboard but Percy sucked in a harsh breath and then the foot was back balancing on her thigh.

"Ya," and then it was awkward silence again.

Inside her mind, Y/N was cringing. This boy was nice, way too nice, and probably the most good looking kid she had ever seen. It was a wonder how she had never noticed him, or at the very least seen him around her school. Now, she had murdered his car, almost broke into it, screamed at him about her engine, and he decides to drive her home because well, she didn't know. It shouldn't matter because she was just repaying him by being awkward.

"Umm, why are you being so nice to me?"

What? God, why was she such a nerd? And an introvert. She needed to go out more.

"Uh," he said and glanced at her as she pointed to the left and he put his blinker on, "I don't know what you mean."

"I beat up your car, probably would have made the stupid alarm go off if you hadn't stopped me and then you follow me to give me my groceries that I had forgotten. My car doesn't start and you offer me a ride home even though you don't know my name." Y/N finished with a huff. Surprisingly, she felt better as if she had just finished crying and got it all off her chest.

"So?"

"So? It's not very high-school boy of you."

Percy laughed, "Well, I'll try harder to be more high school boy if you want."

"No, I like whatever you've got going on here," She said and waved her hand at him.

"Good. I don't feel like pulling over and dropping you off at a random street. Besides, Mom would be pissed at me. When I tell her what happened today, because I'm sorry but I have too. She's going to wonder what took me so long. But, umm," he paused for a second to collect his thoughts, "When I tell her what happened, she's gonna ask if I brought you home or not, and this way I won't have to lie."

He flashed another smile at her and she felt a slight tingle on her face that her friends talked about. But then again, maybe it was her nose going numb from the air conditioning. It was like this boy secretly lived in Alaska. "I'm a shit liar, by the way."

"Couldn't have guessed."

"What gave me away?"

Y/N stared at him for a second before laughing, "You said it."

He had the audacity to look embarrassed, yet please at the same time. "Well, you looked like you needed some cheering up."

Her laugh died from her eyes as the words sunk in. It was not the first time Percy put his foot in his mouth, sometimes he wished he could actually think before he would speak. He would try, but it's not socially acceptable at his age for long periods of silence in between conversations to take place so he can run over his words.

She huffed and crossed her arms, and it felt like Percy's insides were crushed between the space of her chest and twisted limbs. His hands tightened on the steering wheel. He gave her a gentle little thing that somewhat resembled the corner of his lips titling up.

Percy didn't know her at all, but she seemed like the girl that was disappointed with the world. Y/N was too pretty to be disappointed. Percy's Mom had always told him that the prettiest people in the world were dreamers, and the world never held up to their expectations.

Percy didn't really like that for Y/N.

She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, her face never wavering from the road ahead.

"Umm, what's your favorite animal?"

He took Y/N so off guard that she answered, "A cat."

"Why a cat?"

Y/N hesitated, who questions their favorite animal? "Umm, because I relate to them, I think."

"Why because you like lasagna and are scared of accordions?"

"I'm sorry, what?" He had her full attention now. She wasn't even trying to pretend to be mad at him. Her entire body, despite the restrictions of the seatbelt, was turned towards him.

"Have you never heard of Garfield?"

"Of course, I have." Y/N answered, "Who hasn't? But I thought Garfield was scared of scales and diets."

"He is. But he's also scared of accordions. I have to impress you with my extensive Garfield knowledge somehow right?" Y/N snickered, her fingers massaging her forehead. This boy was something else, she liked it.

"Well, do you relate to Garfield?" he asked a minute later.

Y/N laughed so hard that the back of her head hit the seat and she snorted, which only set her into another laughing fit. "I'm sorry," she said still giggling a little bit, "It's just who relates to Garfield?"

"A girl who tries to break into cars, I guess."

Y/N didn't think Percy had it in him to be so sarcastic. After spending a little under fifteen minutes with him, she had judged him as the boy who apologized despite doing nothing wrong and had fallen in love with his best friend but would never tell them. The boy who lived next door type.

He was sweet, and funny, and so incorrigibly cute that Y/N was shocked that she had been able to have a decent conversation with him.

So, she did what she did best with cute boys: pretend she wasn't attracted to them.

She shoved his arm even though he was driving, ignored him after with a fake pout, and even refused to say goodbye to him as she got out of the car. He had laughed at all of her antics and kept repeating his goodbyes over and over, getting louder and louder with each one.

After the door was shut, she snuck over to the window where the curtains were drawn and peeked through. He was still there, staring at the door. She watched him until he drove off.

A surreal giggle peeked through her, her smile seeming unable to wipe off. Her body thrummed with energy. For the first time in a while, her chest felt light and airy, as if drugged with hope.

-

The magical energy in the form of Percy Jackson had worn off by the time school started that Monday. She had gotten to school as late as possible that day, her stomach twisting and turning itself. The last thing Y/N wanted to do was see her best friend. Y/N had ignored her the entire weekend, all her calls and texts had gone ignored. Her own actions had almost been surprising to her, she had a knack for forgiving others who didn't deserve her mercy. Y/N supposed she had finally had enough.

Fortunately, she had gotten through the entire first half of the day without seeing her by ignoring her texts and calls, dodging her attempts at meeting Y/N at her own locker, and even purposely coming into Y/N's class with the excuse of office aid.

It was now lunchtime and Y/N was lucky enough to have her first meeting of the Environmental Club scheduled today. Her best friend would never even think of stepping in here, Y/N had too many good friends who would love to give her a good shove.

Even though she was thankful to have somewhere to hide from her friend, Y/N was anxious to enter the classroom. Her nerves felt fuzzy from toes to her hairline, which only made her more nervous. Y/N had a habit of stumbling over her words when she was nervous, and she did not need that today.

The meeting room was just an empty classroom with her biology teacher from freshman year eating a sandwich in the corner of the classroom. Y/N was almost 100% sure he was a biker version of Santa Claus. Sure, he was a lot less generous with his grades, but he looked exactly like the Santas at the mall just with tattoos and a tommy bahama shirt.

The turnout varied. There were the usual, Y/N, Triton the President of the club, this random freshman named Tyson, Grover and his girlfriend. That was about it. Sometimes it was just them. Other times, usually when there was pizza, a lot more people showed up.

Today was one of those days. A group of giggling freshman girls eyed Triton appreciatively, while a girl named Ella and Tyson went over notes in the corner. Grover smiled and waved from the pizza stand and Y/N grimaced but waved back.

Gods, this was going to be at the top of her list of embarrassing moments, right next to having a mental breakdown with Percy's car.

Triton started off the meeting with his usual greetings of putting Y/N in charge. He grinned down at her menacingly once he announced she would be taking over the rest of the meeting. She had never wanted to flip off someone so much that Y/N pressed her hand against her thigh and flipped him off secretly.

Triton moved off the stand and sat on his phone by Tyson and the freshman girls, they giggled and moved closer to him.

She rolled her eyes and smiled at everyone from the platform despite her trembling fingers and her tongue feeling as if it weighed tons.

Y/N tried to focus on the light from the windows lighting up dust like tiny stars and the way the crank from the air conditioning reminded her of boring days in this classroom where there wasn't the threatening future looming over her.

Triton expected her to announce her own failure. She wanted to cry.

Triton was the biggest asshole she had ever met. He had been held back so many times that no one truly knew how old he was, and nobody dared to ask. The one thing he somewhat cared about was this club. He had been President for the past how many years he had been here despite that he did nothing.

As it was her Senior year and Y/N had never worked so hard to keep a club going, she decided to run for President. It turned out that Triton was finally graduating but it never occurred to him that he would have to give up his position. Y/N had never seen him so mad in her life, and he decided to punish her for his graduation.

She took a breath and smiled at everyone. She could do this. "Hey guys. So thank you for coming today. Pizza will be served at the end of the meeting, as per usual." She said and leaned against the podium. Her voice was shaking but Y/N had to pretend she didn't realize for her own sanity. Looking more casual would hopefully calm her down. Maybe looking around the crowd would help. "Umm, today we are revealing next year's President which is really exciting-" As people started to clap, she choked on air, and suddenly she was stuck in a coughing fit struggling to catch a breath. Percy had been sitting in the back. They had made eye contact and then she had forgotten how to breathe.

Hands were on her back, and she was guided outside the classroom then sat down by the lockers. The feet left and she coughed some more but it died down. The tickle in her throat felt like someone was itching her throat with a feather. Y/N had to clear her throat multiple times to try to get it to go away but nothing worked. Her lungs burned as she filled them with air. She felt her hands shaking violently again and she leaned her head against the lockers.

She hadn't even gotten to the announcement part.

A water bottle was handed to her but she didn't move to open it. Pretty, tan hands did it instead, she watched them languidly.

"I think I have a knack for creating your breakdowns," Percy said with a smile. She looked up at him with her hand still against the locker. Her lips felt too heavy to give him a real smile, so she settled for a shuddering breath and closed her eyes. "I don't know about you, but sleeping in the hallways isn't really ideal."

Y/N snorted and her chest fluttered. She sat up then and took the water. Her throat was so parched it burned as the water went down.

"Ya, I'm not one for naps on floors that haven't been cleaned since the school opened either. Just when I start yacking so hard, you have to bring me outside."

Percy laughed and it was so contagious that she caught herself giggling with him.

"How's Garfield?"

"Garfield?" Y/N questioned.

"Ya, you know," Percy said and stuffed his hands into his hoodie. She wondered how often he did that. "Garfield, your car."

"What?" Y/N said laughing as she looked at him. He was already looking at him and Y/N hurriedly turned towards the lockers in front of her again. Yay, now she made things even more awkward. But Y/N couldn't help it, he really liked eye contact and Y/N didn't. End of story. "I've never named my car anything."

"I had a feeling. You don't seem the type, so I named him for you. Garfield in honor of your favorite animal."

Y/N hit him with the water bottle. If any other person had done this, then they probably would have remembered to put the cap on. It was too bad she was a world class idiot. However, to her horror, Y/N had only realized that would happen once it did.

"Shit, I'm so sorry." Y/N scrambled around for anything to dry the water with but all she found was a disgustingly dirty straw wrapper and a dried piece of gum. Y/N didn't know him that well, but she figured he wouldn't want to use that. She settled for using her own shirt instead.

Percy was laughing the entire time, and was pushing away her hands. It was like Percy was made just to embarrass her, as if baby bunnies were going to die everyday if she didn't embarrass herself every time he was around. "Y/N, Y/N," he repeated, grabbing her hands and placing them in his lap, "It's fine." She wouldn't look up at him and continued to look at their hands. He was so close to her that her focus had gone out the window. Her hands were abuzz and Y/N felt another coughing fit coming along.

It was just like her friends had explained. Oh god, it was exactly the same. Her tirade of a crush smashing Y/N with the weight of it.

"Y/N, I don't care honestly," her heart pounded in her throat and Y/N started to laugh nervously. She was screwed. "If anything it will just piss off Octavian which makes this even better." Percy said, mistaking her panic for spilling water on him. Gods, he probably thought she was a freak.

Fortunately, Grover came into the room. She had never been more thankful for him, Y/N had a feeling that if Percy spend anymore time this close to her she was going to either faint or have another coughing fit, maybe even both. "Come on, Percy. Triton just announced that you were President, he wants a little speech."

"Speech?"

Grover shrugged, "That's what he said. Although, I have a feeling that you could tell him that the world was dying and he would be crying tears of happiness."

He patted Y/N's head, and she tried to engrain this feeling into her brain. "You'll be fine right."

She nodded, and his hands left her. It was like a light switch had turned on and suddenly her brain started working again.

Y/N grabbed Percy's wrist before he left, "You're the President."

Percy nodded and Y/N muttered a little, "Oh," under her breath. She didn't know quite how to feel anymore. How had she not noticed before? It must have been why his name sounded so familiar, but she couldn't put a finger on where she had remembered him from.

Percy went to kneel next to her again, but Grover cleared his throat. He looked torn, and looked at Y/N then Grover and back again before leaving with a hand on her shoulder. She didn't shy away but wouldn't look at him either.

Just as they crossed the threshold Y/N heard Grover tell Percy that Y/N was supposed to be President. Her lip quivered, but she pressed them together. She could practically feel Percy's glance at her. She wanted to hit Grover in the back of the head and also wanted to run away. If she wasn't so emotionally drained she probably would have.

-

Y/N met her fate at the end of the third period. Her next class was a free period, fortunately. It gave her just enough time to wait in line for the food line.

"Hey, criminal girl," someone whispered into her ear. She just about jumped four feet.

She turned around to see Percy. Her chest hurt a little, and she wasn't sure it's from the scare or Percy giving her all of his attention. Y/N settled for both.

"Umm, hey," she said and eyed the two boys behind him. The pair looked almost identical, except for their different sized scars on their face, and the one on the left was taller. They were giggling like elementary school children and making suggestive faces at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Hoping to cut in line with you," Percy says, a plea in his voice.

Y/N meant in a general, in a what are you doing here talking to me? kind of way. If Y/N were Percy, she would have stayed as far away from his as possible. But then again, she knew that wasn't true. Percy could have told her he was half god and the son of the god of fish poop and Y/N would have swooned.

"What are you doing here?"

She gave him a look when he started to snicker, then marched past him and threw out her hand with a smile, "Y/N L/N."

Both boys looked shocked that she had started to talk to them and Y/N couldn't lie. She was just as surprised by her actions. Fortunately, they didn't seem to mind and kickstarted into action. The taller one of the left with a faded scar running down the side of his face said, "Luke Castellan. Nice to meet the girl Perseus hasn't stopped talking about for the last few days."

"Your name is Perseus?" Y/N asked a shit eating grin creeping up her face. Percy looked like he just found out Gaea was coming after him. She turned back to the Luke kid who had turned red from trying not to laugh, "I want to personally thank you for that information. It's priceless."

Percy grumbled.

"Hey Y/N," the other one said. She was surprised he knew who she was. Jason was less boisterous than the other two, but still just as mischievous. He had a a type of quiet confidence and grace to him that made her want to hang onto every word she gave him. Y/N also spent a day with him each month, trying to figure out the balance of money she could spend on the club. "So, you're the girl who tried to steal the piece of junk."

"Hey!" Percy exclaimed, "Leave Blackjack out of this!"

"Blackjack?" Y/N questioned.

"My car," Percy said softly to her then scratched his neck.

She laughed quietly, then studied the three boys. "Are you two related?" Y/N asked and pointed to Jason and Luke.

"Nah, I'm dating Jason's sister but Percy and Lightning Skull over here are cousins."

Y/N nodded, processing this information. How had she not seen Percy around? Jason Grace was the Senior Class President, she had to attend monthly meetings to go over the Environmental Club treasury.

A voice cut through their conversation, making Y/N look over Luke's shoulder to see who it was. Piper McClean, the TV anchor and Speech and Debate finalist was walking over with a smile. Her grin was directed at Jason, but just being in the crossfire felt like a gift.

It seemed Jason felt that way too because he suddenly straightened up and turned red in under 2.5 seconds. He walked away with a halfhearted gesture that could have passed as a wave goodbye.

Luke snickered then pointed towards the potential couple with his thumb, "I'm gonna go find Thals while the idiot is love sick."

The line had moved up while Y/N had been distracted, and she flashed a smile at her fellow seniors then ran up to join Percy. He was already forking out some money to pay for whatever food he wanted.

"They seem nice."

"Hmm," Percy said, not looking up from his wallet, "Oh, ya. I've known Jason since Summer and Luke for even longer."

"I thought you and Jason were cousins."

"We are," Percy said and smiled triumphantly when he found a ten dollar bill. She couldn't help but bask in her contentment. Her breaths were coming in deeper and easier. She felt like she had fallen into Sally from Spongebob's little bubble house, there were no threats to take away this short-lived happiness at the moment. "My Dad and my uncle don't get along. Besides, my Dad left when I was young. It wasn't until Jason came over the Summer after meeting at Summer camp and my Mom hugged him for longer than normal that she told us."

Y/N didn't know what to say. She was fortunate enough to have all her family members with her, it wasn't perfect and her parents seemed to really adore fighting. But something is better than nothing. "Shit," she paused, "I know we don't know each other too well, but I'm sorry, Percy."

Percy shrugged with a smile. His hands were buried deep into his hoodie. He looked like the main protagonist in some cheesy coming of age movie, where a cheerleader decides to scoop up the hot but oddball kid in her Shakespeare class. "I mean, you can't really miss something you never had."

Y/N tilted her head from side to side and considered his words, "I never thought of it that way."

"That's why I am known as a secret genius in these halls."

Y/N laughed, "Known? My ass." She was impressed with herself. Y/N hadn't embarrassed herself yet, and she even had introduced herself to one if his friends.

"No one's gonna know the new kid."

Now, that took Y/N by surprise, "You're new? That makes so much more sense." She leaned her head against her hand which was resting on the sill of the window as they finally reached the front of the line.

It was why she had never noticed him before, why Jason and Luke were hanging out together, why Percy knew Jason. It just all seemed to connect under seconds.

"Hey Rachel!" Y/N grinned, perking up from seeing her old friend. Rachel had been on her sports team freshman year. Y/N spent most of her time on the bench, still did, but Rachel had been there along with her so it was okay. She was a good friend and an even funnier person. Rachel had no licensee, which left Y/N's sophomore season screaming the entire way to their away games.

"Hi," she smiled and Y/N wanted to laugh. Rachel's smile was incredibly contagious, something about it being too mischievous to be anything good. "What can I get for you two?"

They ordered and Rachel nor Percy wouldn't let her pay. "It will make your payment easier for breaking into my car. Then you can drive me home and buy me lunch. Maybe even a little beating up the car sesh."

Y/N looked at Rachel wide eyed. Her heart picked up at the thought of spending time with him outside of school. "You never said anything about a repayal." She objected, and tried to swipe food from him.

He pivoted and held everything over his head, out of her reach. She crossed her arms and glared at him. His green eyes twinkled, and she marveled at how shockingly handsome he was. It truly wasn't fair. If she had his beauty, she would have used it to her advantage but then again, he probably does.

"Well, you kind of beat up my car, criminal girl. I was hoping for at least a thank you."

Y/N rolled her eyes. He had this way of backing her into her own corners. He turned his back and continued his purchase, shooting a victorious look over his shoulder as the receipt printed out.

Y/N stood alone by the cashier for a whiplashed moment. Jesus Christ. What the fuck was going on? She felt like she was meeting Percy over again. He acted so differently than when he was in the car.

It was like she'd been sucked into a tornado, tossed around, and then spit out alone in the front of the lunch line.

He threw away the cover at the trashcan and Y/N reluctantly walked up next to him, the condiments were right next to the trash can. He grinned at her and she struggled not to return it. "We're going to spend a lot more time together, so you're going to have to turn that frown upside down."

Y/N snickered and elbowed him. He grinned and leaned against the trash can. She eyed him and wrinkled her nose. So disgusting.

He quickly got off it, as if he hadn't realized what he was going. Percy brushed off the sleeve of his hoodie then smelled it. It only made Y/N laugh harder and shake her head. "What do you mean spend more time together?"

"Well, one you owe me," he said and shot her a look. The smirk on her face made her wary. "And the Environmental Club rulebook states that co-presidents have to spend loads of time together."

He was walking backwards and Y/N couldn't lie she was impressed until he stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk. "Well, it's a good thing I'm not co-President then."

"What if I told you, you were." Percy said, studying her. Her head shot up so fast, her vision blurred. It was as if an airplane from the sky had just dropped a bunch of wooden skewers right on her. They didn't hurt her, she was more shocked than anything. "Grover told me what happened and I just thought it was entirely unfair what Triton did to you. And you're fun to be around so during my speech I said that you were co-president but couldn't come in cause you were still coughing. Everyone seemed to believe it, so."

Y/N was quiet. She had never been so touched in her life. Being everyone's second choice sucked, but Percy had just admitted he thought she was fun. For a lot of people it wouldn't seem like such a big deal but Y/N felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

"I mean, you don't have to do it, if you don't want to. I can always tell everyone it had been a mistake. You're just a cool person and stuff. I would have a better time being president if you were doing it with me."

"I'd love to, Percy."

"Really?" Percy looked up from where he was tracing the sidewalk with his shoe. She had never seen him so happy yet shy. Y/N bit her cheek to keep herself from smiling too big. She felt tingly all over, it was stupid but she liked it. It wasn't electricity like how her friends had said they felt with their boyfriends, Y/N had never been electrocuted so she didn't know how it felt. But somehow she knew that Percy was more than just tiny shocks.

-

They were assigned their first project together a week later. Co-Presidency was a lot more fun than she had thought. Percy had used the excuse of inviting Y/N over to his table for lunch to 'discuss tactics'. Y/N knew that wasn't what he meant but she didn't mention anything.

Her best friend had asked to speak to her when she was studying with Percy. It was more like Percy whining about how senior year was supposed to be easy and how his life was so hard, while Y/N asked him questions from her stack of flashcards.

But the second Percy saw the panic on her face, he had asked her politely if she could talk to Y/N later because he had a test next period and really needed the help.

Y/N had thought he was bad at lying.

Once she left, Percy had put an arm around her and brought Y/N closer to him. He whispered into her ear, "I got you, criminal girl."

She smiled at her lap, and risked a glance at him. He was staring at her as if she was some question on a test he couldn't figure out. He held her intimacy of being understood in his hands.

She leaned into him.

-

At the end of the day, Percy met Y/N by her car. Their cars were amongst the last few left, except for some of the athletic representation and staff. Her shoes squeak against the pavement, but he doesn't even flinch; he just smiles at her.

She knocks his hat down as a makeshift greeting and a way to distract him so she doesn't see her double-checking it is in fact her car. Y/N already made a fool of herself before, she didn't want to do it again.

Unfortunately, he notices because he snickers behind her and jabs her sides. Her heart leaps into her throat then drops down to her feet, like some rollercoaster ride. She has to lean against the car to calm her racing breath. He laughs even harder at that and grabs her keys from her purse before getting in the passenger seat.

Once Y/N feels confident enough that she won't have a stroke around him, she gets in the car. Percy already has plugged his phone into apple car play and is playing some dumb song from his playlist. She faintly recognizes it as some song from the Little Mermaid.

"I don't think I needed the keys to get in here, did I?"

Y/N laughs and starts it, fortunately Garfield doesn't stall, "Probably not." She is about to pull out when she remembers that Percy is still in her car. "Now, get out. I have to go home."

"To do what?"

Y/N huffs and feels embarrassment climbing up her spine like the slimy snake in Adam and Eve, encouraging her to make up some lie so she can look cooler. But unlike them she doesn't fall into that pit, "I dunno."

"Okay, so no plans for the rest of the night then."

Y/N gives him a look that lets him know he isn't even a quarter as casual as he thinks he is. Percy takes it in stride, since Y/N answers his question despite his glaring obviousness. "I mean the only thing I planned on was going home and finishing my book, unless someone has a better idea."

She hopes Percy supposes he's supposed to be that someone, but sadly, he hasn't thought this far ahead into the conversation. He fumbles, stammering out little nonsensical half-sentences, but Y/N is blissfully unbothered. "Don't we have to work on the project?" His head is leaning against the headrest and Y/N wonders how someone stuttering can look so casual, and composed, and pretty.

He lights up then, and Y/N smiles unconsciously. Her heart beats a bit faster when his eyes met her own. She doesn't look away, and she feels this pull. The rest of the world turns into white noise, non-existent and unimportant. Y/N wants to reach out and touch him, just feel his skin against her own. It's addicting and exhilarating. "Ya," his voice comes out deeper than normal, and he has to clear his throat before speaking again, but even then it comes out softer than normal. He's doing this thing with his eyes, it makes her stomach flutter. And even though she shouldn't, she wanted to kiss him. "That's a good idea."

They stared at each other unapologetically as they sat there. Her eyes traveled from his aqua green eyes that resembled the ocean so much that she felt a serene feeling wash over her, as if she had just taken a whiff of salt water. Then, she realized that it was just Percy. Something about knowing how he smelled made her heart pound. She wondered how he kissed, whether he liked to go fast or slow. She knew that with him it wouldn't matter to her. Her eyes moved down to his throat and watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. She saw the tilt of his lips and a flash of a dimple, the dip of his collarbone, the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing.

By the time she looked back up, neither of them moved, even though Percy had just admitted that he wanted to leave.

And then suddenly he was moving. He put his phone in the cup holder, and his fingers brushed against hers in a split second of what felt like life. Then he slid across the seat and slipped her cheeks into his warm hands, his fingers raked through the back of her hair, and Percy kissed Y/N.

He barely touched her. Just a light brushing of lips against hers, the slightest feel of his breath on her face.

It shot through her in milliseconds. Even though it was just a press of lips, her breathing was ragged.

His hands were still stuck in her hair, and he was still so close to her. It made her a little breathless.

They stayed there, just taking each other in, neither moving or breaking eye contact. He looked at her like it was work not to look at Y/N. It's silent until it's not.

"You know those people you just sort of... vibe with?" Percy whispered, his eyes closing as he leans his forehead against hers. Her breath shudders.

She was glad he asked the question before invading her personal space again, her focus always went out the window. "Vibe with?" She giggles a little at the choice of word.

But Percy doesn't, he looks at her with a kind of seriousness that silences her immediately. Then, she thinks about his question, really thinks about it. Y/N was familiar with it. There are some people that when you meet you just click with, their vibes just vibe with yours. Those are the people you want to keep in forever because at the end of the day, they are who you want to be and Percy is more herself than she is.

But instead of staying that she just nods, and their noses brush. His lips quirk up. "Well, you are that person for me, I think."

Y/N smiles, and plants one of him. When she peels herself away from him, he chases her lips and she lets him. Choosing instead to murmur against his, "You're that person for me too."

[yamithediaperdork]

Crime and punishment (MHA)

Crime and Punishment

Out of all the duties that Katsuki thought was a waste of time for hero's in training and legends of awesomeness like himself, Touring experimental new prisons had to be up there near the top. Normally he'd be able to bully someone else in the class into taking the job off his hands but today no such luck as the teachers had taken notice and were watching him like a god damn hawk. Adding to his bucket of annoyance was who he was partnered up with for this little tour, Izuku Midoriya himself..or as Katsuki preferred to call the green haired cry baby: Deku. (though it did spoil some of his fun his cruel nickname for the weakling had been taken by the crybaby as his hero name. still...) Adding to the total bullshit that this assignment was, not only were they suppose to take notes and report back with their suggestions so the full trained heroes could make a judgment call (which rendered the whole fucking thing moot if you asked Katsuki his humble opinion) But they had to do it in costume. Being of the mindset he put on his uniform to fight and blow things up, not do paperwork, this just served to piss the already poorly tempered hero in training off even more. they were currently in the office of the warden for this new experiential jail and he'd gone off into his own little world while the balding man with the big nose rambled on and on. He knew Deku would be a good little suck up and soak in every word and he'd just copy the nerd's report when this was all done anyways. He only tuned back in when Deku nudged him with his elbow and Katsuki realized they had been talking to him and he'd just been staring off into space. "what?" He asked. "..As I was telling your collage here, we need you to both sign some waivers given the technology that will be on display here, as well as a wavier not to tell anyone other then the hero's your reporting too about what you saw here today." the warden said, frowning. "Yeah yeah, whatever. just give me the stupid paper work and lets get this over with." Katsuki said. "Ah, Great Explosion Murder God Dynamite...I think you should read the paper work and make sure you know what your signing first. Since you kinda..zoned out there." Deku said. "whatever nerd." Katsuki said, though GOD he loved his hero name and leaned in as if he was going to humor the nerd..then just signed the paper work. The warden rolled his eyes but took out two badges that the heroes could wear around their necks and handed them over. "..what, you think SOMEHOW your guards are gonna mistake us for some of your inmates?" Katsuki asked and Deku face palmed. "I really wish you'd just pay attention.." the crybaby whined softly. "what?!" Katsuki huffed. "Maybe if you didn't have the attention span of a toddler Mr..and I can't believe I'm even going to say this.. 'Great Explosion Murder God Dynamite', You'd of heard how much of our system is automated and that badge will keep you from being seen as a prisoner by the computers." the Warden said dryly. "..Who you calling a tod-" Katsuki started, but Deku stepped in and broke it up.

Huffing and pouty, Katsuki trailed behind the warden and Deku as they talked on and on and pictured how easy it would be to just toss a little blast at their feet, for a jump scare. 'heh, better now. Deku will just wet himself and bawl like a baby, again. They should just get a pacifier for him to suck on like the big baby he is.' Katsuki mused, mentally picturing Deku in just a oversized diaper and in a playpen, oversized paci in his mouth and bawling. So vivid was the mental image for a second Katsuki thought he must of been imposing it as he looked into one of the cells. Because there on the floor, hugging a teddy bear was a bald tanned skinned man, maybe in his 30, and he was dressed like a fucking toddler. like, as in paw patrol socks on, and he was wearing a freaking diaper shirt with a dino print on it and uh, yeah.. Mother fucking diapers that showed due to their thickness! the guy didn't even seem to notice him, he was busy sucking on a paci and watching a tv in the room. "what the fuckkkkk?" Katsuki laughed out loud. "..and I see the toddler is back with us." the warden said. "I'ma let that slide because what the fuck? why's that guy in huggies?" Katsuki asked, jerks a thumb at the window and snickering. "We uh..we went over this in the office Great Explosion Murder Death God..This prison is utilizing a new form of regressive therapy.." Deku said, rubbing the back of his head. "Man, the fuck did this guy do to end up being put back in pampers?" Katsuki asked. "must of been a real terror in actual prison for them to make him partake in this!" "-sigh- for the benefit of toddlers who don't listen.." The warden said, coming over and taping a few button on the control panel by the prisoners door, and the wall became transparent for them to get a better view. "Call me a toddler one more time, I fucking dare you." Katsuki grumbled. "ANYWAYS! Every one of the inmates in this prison is a volunteer who is getting 10 years shaved off of their sentences to try this. If the program is approved and if they wish to keep being part of it, further time will be shaved off." The warden said. "Each cell  is equipped to look after and care for the inmates as if they were little boys or girls since it's a unisex prison, or if they just happen to be transgender. it's not OUR place to judge them." As the warden spoke, the prisoner who apparently didn't know he was being watched, suddenly got up on his knees and hugged a stuffie close to his chest as he started to make scrunchie faces. "..Is he.." Deku asked, turning and looking away to give the guy privacy. "Oh yeah, he's totally baking brownies." Katsuki snorted. As Katsuki and the warden watched, the back of the inmates diaper shirt and well, of course, diapers puffed out and expanded, to the point the crotch snaps burst open. "Sheesh, fucker must of been holding it in for ages." Katsuki observed. "actually it's part of the diet their on, we feel frequent and massive movements help with breaking down their ego's and let's them accelerate the reforming processes." The warden said proudly. "Righttt..ok fess up. you just like making tough guys shit they're brains out right?" Katsuki asked and chuckled. "..Your a very unpleasant person. I'm going to make a request you NOT be sent for the follow up review." "Oh nooo, I don't have to come here and listen to you drone on and on and watch adults crap themselves. I'm soooo heart broken about that." Katsuki said and rolled his eyes. walking away from the scene and leaving Deku trying to look over and make sure it was ok, Katsuki fiddled with his badge as he walked away from them and missed the sight of the metal arms coming out of the walls and attending to the stinky inmate, though Deku did take a interest in this part can came over to watch. "He doesn't um..seem that upset." Deku said. "oh this isn't his first dirty diaper, and there are speakers in there with a calming female voice praising him for making such a big present and telling him what a good boy he is. again, it could of been a male or female voice, we go with what works best for the inmate." Indeed, one of the metal arms with white gloved hands was coming down now and gently patted the inmates squishy bottom as his head, making the man blush but give a big toothy smile. "you wouldn't know it to look at him now, but he was a several bank robber and known for his brutal tactics. I figure with this treatment he'll be reformed in maybe 4 years..5 tops." The warden said with pride in his voice. "wow..I thought he looked familiar..Hey Ka- Great Explosion Murder God Dynamite, you gotta come and see-" Deku turned to call Katsuki over and the machines started to lift the inmate to a changing table, but the Blond was gone. "What a shock. the toddler wandered off." The warden said, and punched in a command on the control panel again, making the wall go back to normal. "we'd better go and find him.." Deku nodded and they headed up the hall towards where the the hall split into two paths, and it was there Deku looked down and found Katsuki's ID badge. "uhhh warden? what are the chances he'll be snagged without this on?" Deku asked, holding it up. "Between his attuide and wandering off into areas without at least someone else wearing a badge? 93 percent." The warden said, clearly amused. "...Weeeee better hurry...if they try and diaper him he's libel to blown this whole place up. "

Katsuki had at some point stopped playing with his badge and was just busy looking in at the different inmates, trying to see if he knew any of them from news reports and the like on tv. He made a point of knocking on the windows and getting the big babies attention and smirked as they would blush and hide (well some of them, others would just give a sheepish wave and others outright ignored him) Sadly there didn't seem to be any super villains locked up, though then again what villain would of volunteered for something like this? He was making his way to the next cell when suddenly a green light scanned over him, hurting his eyes for a second. "Ow! the fuck!?" he growled, rubbing at them. "Warning: inmate in hallway and not in proper attire. deploying prisoner recapture protocols." A robotic voice called out in the hallway, then was replaced with a sugary sweet male who started to scold him. "Now now, what are you doing out of your cell, and without your cute widdle outfit on little man? you don't wanna make a mess everywhere do you?" as it spoke, multiple holes in the walls opened up and more of the metal arms with the white gloved hands came out of them. "Uh..Hold up, I'm a superhero visiting. I've got a badge and-" Katsuki said, gulping a little and taking a step back, reaching for the badge and finding it gone. "...Well shit on a stick. guess we're doing this the hard way." Having only expected to be doing a little walk around, he hadn't stored any of his explosive sweat for use, though with a fair idea of what these things wanted to do with him, he was flop sweating enough to make up for it. "Such foul language! somebodies in for a mouth washing if he doesn't start behaving! you're already getting a spanking and corner time mister." the Voice announced. "Counter offer: fuck you." Katsuki said and went to work, blowing up two of the arms right off the bat and chagrining in, there was NO way he was gonna lose to a bunch of shitty robot arms! Or that was the going theory till as he got close one of the hands opened up and sprayed a green mist in his face. coughing and then seeing double, Katsuki pouted and got out a final statement before collapsing to the floor. "Knock out gas? No fairrrr!"

He woke up shortly after, and found himself in one of the nursery cells and almost totally naked.  the almost part came from the thick mitten that had been put on both of his hands rendering his powers useless and the booties on his feet. "Nggggh.. damn cheating bas-" "Foul language detected! Bad boy! somebodies getting a mouth washing!" came the male voice over the intercom and before Katsuki could even try and fight back he found himself forced to sit up on the changing change and his arms pinned at his sides by two of the arms.A third one came out of the wall wielding a wet and sudsy bar of soap and Katsuki glared. "Go fuck yourself if you thin-" he started to rant, not quite figuring out that he should of kept his mouth shut and as such the bar was forced into his mouth and he couldn't spit it out, eyes shutting tight and soapy drool trails leaking down his chin. "Maybe five minutes as a soap sucker will help you stop swearing Little guy..but daddy isn't going to hold his breath." the voice said. 'oh good, not only is it a crazy fucking AI that wants to make me a diaper baby..but one with a sense of humor.' Katsuki thought dryly.

Five minutes later and the bar was carefully removed but held close, clearly the machine was waiting to see if he'd learned his lesson. Katsuki for his part was PISSED and wiped at his touage with his mitten hands, trying to get rid of the icky taste. 'Ok Katsuki..you've seen what being a brat got you..let's tone down the attuide and try logic...' He thought, eyeing the walls warily. He hadn't been diapered YET but it was clear that was where he was heading if he didn't figure something out. "uh..What do I call you?" Katsuki said. "Daddy of course little man,m or would you prefer a mommy?" the voice said cheerfully. 'I'd prefer someone dumped a bucket of water on your CPU' Katsuki thought but with GREAT effort kept the comment to himself. "C-Can we talk logically for a second and hold off the diapers? ..Please?" Katsuki said, giving a smile to show he was trying to be good but said smile would of terrified young kids. "..heh I'll hear you out." "Ok so..Were you programed to accept any new inmates at all today? do you have a profile on me that tells you what crimes I supposedly did?" "Scanning..Nope." Daddy said. "Alright..then if I'm not in the system, then I must be telling the truth when I tell you I'm not a inmate right?" Katsuki said and smiled for real. "Hmmm.. well the programmers have been known to be lax when it comes to updates..and you've already earned a 2 month prison term regardless." Daddy said. "What!? what for!?!" Katsuki demanded. the tv clicked to life and footage of Katsuki destroying two of the arms was played. "Destruction of government property." "..ARE YOU SHITTING ME!? YOU STARTED THAT FIGHT!" "Hmmm mouth washing didn't work, let's try anther something else..." Daddy said and the arms moved in again and restrained Katsuki on his tummy and to his horror, a large enema bag was brought out and a rather large looking nozzle. "I bet your just so grumpy because your backed up little guy!" daddy said. "..I really..really..Hate these kind of missions..." Katsuki whimpered.

Deku and the warden did finally find Katsuki, but it was only after finding the scene of the fight, and the warden warning Deku that the machine was programed to automatically add a months sentence for every damaging attack on it. "I mean, I'm sure if we get the head programmer in here we can clear that up..but the machines AI automatically files the charges with the DA so we'll have to talk to them too." the warden explained. With that knowledge in mind Deku thought he'd been prepared to see Katsuki, having known by that point he'd likely been er well..dressed as a inmate. Getting to the cell the warden believed he was in, he punched in the code to make the wall transparent and well..they were greeted by the site of a enema nozzle JUST coming out of Katsuki's backside, and he was being rapidly taped up in a massive white diaper. the blond brat's tummy was bloated and Deku almost could swear he could hear it sloshing and a Pacifier gag had been strapped to his mouth. "He must of been using excessive swearing for it to paci gag him." the warden said, sounding amused. "Yeahhh I can see that.. Uh..Anyway you can try and get this to stop? Like.maybe it won't release him but is there a training potty or something at least?" Deku asked, rubbing the back of his head. truthfully while he wanted to bust a gut laughing he knew that wouldn't be fair to Katsuki, even if the brat had brought this on himself. "Nope. once one of the super poopers goes on, it doesn't come off till filled to the brim." The warden chuckled. "..Super poopers?" "the name of that massive diaper the toddler is wearing." "..you know your enjoying this a little too much." "Oh come on, and your not, even a little bit?" Before Deku could answer he's eyes were drawn to Katsuki as the blond hunched over and loudly whined though his gag, the warden had taken the extra step of making it so they could hear everything too. "Anddd I don't think he's gonna last long enough for a training potty to get in there anyways." taping on the control panel, Katsuki went from staring down at the floor, sweat dripping at his face to looking at them and his cheeks flushed red. he held up one mitten covered hand and waved it, trying to get them to look away but daddy spoke up. "oh look little guy! you have visitors! Hello warden, How are you today?" Daddy asked.

Katsuki whined and started to cry. between the cramps and the utter humiliation of being seen like this he lost any sense of bravo and turned away from the pair watching him, trying to find somewhere to hide before he well, disgraced himself. "I'm fine Daddy. You've made a mistake though daddy, This isn't a inmate of the prison." Katsuki whimpered, massive diaper butt wiggling as he tried to crawl under the crib in the nursery and hearing Deku snort and start to laugh before coughing. "Oh, I guess the little guy was right. It doesn't matter though, per regulation 3467 he's been sentenced to two months of baby rehabilitation warden. the DA has already approved and made it final." Daddy said. "Of course you can start a appeal but that will take 3-5 business days and my little guy here is about to make presents." "wait, how can it get approved if they don't even know who he is?" Deku asked. "I sent a picture of the big baby to be to the DA's office and they handled the rest." Daddy said cheerfully. "..Man I know he pissed off some of the DA last month when they tried to give him a lecture but.." Deku said and rubbed the back of his head. "oh so he's just a ray of sunshine for everyone huh?" any further conversation was drowned out as hearing how he might actually be stuck in baby land for two whole fucking months, Katsuki lost the battle of will's and the back of his massive diaper started to fill up. a little meter even appears as the mushy mess poured out of him, going from 'clean' to 'oppise poopise' in a matter of seconds and heading for 'whoa, stinky' at a alarming pace. "awwww see? I knew my little guy was backed up! Oh! Receiving data from the DA...Update file...There's my good little Katsuki! who's a good super pooper? and such a silly baby, trying to hide!" Daddy coo'ed and then two arms came out and dragged him out from his half way hidden spot under the crib. a rocking horse was moved over as Katsuki was picked up in the air and he shook his head no over and over, but was planted with a SQUISH anyways. "Ride'em cowboy!" Daddy encouraged and Katsuki lost it and was full on bawling, even as he was forced to rock back and forth.

One week later and Katsuki had semi gotten used to his new daily routine. it didn't mean he liked having to wear and use diapers or the stupid fucking baby food or formula..but after 3 days of being gagged except for when eating he'd learned to keep his opinions to himself. he was just a baby in daddy's eyes after all as he was reminded. He got used to the squishy warm wetness that came with a wet diaper though still bawled like..well a baby every time he pooped though he made a honest to god effort to load his diapers at least twice a day to avoid anther enema. Making things so much worse for poor Katsuki was the fact that somehow it'd gotten leaked where he was, though both the warden and Deku claimed it wasn't either of them, and as such other students from the school LOVED to come back and watch Katsuki in his baby punishment. Katsuki didn't even think they should of been able to get in but the bastard warden was handing out passes like candy on Halloween night. Still, Deku had promised he'd follow up on getting Katsuki's appeal put though and get him out, and he should be getting out either today or the next. Or so he thought till a sheepish and squirming Deku visited him. "Ummm.. Sooo I have some bad news." he said. "..Don't tell me they rejected the appeal!?!" Katsuki whimpered and whined. "Uh..yeah..see..It's a little bit worse then that. After reviewing the footage and all the facts..the judge decided that you not only deserve the two months in here..he..might a added 3 month on top." "WHAT!?! But..But..I..But.." Katsuki whimpered, plopping on his diapered behind and picking up a nearby stuffie, cuddling it. "T-That's..thats not fair!" "W-well he says as a hero in training..you need to be held to a higher standard..and thanked me for pushing so much on the appeal, he wouldn't of thought of it otherwise..soooo..uh..Sorry?" Deku squeaked out. "Your sorry? Your SORRY!? I'm the one who's gonna be crapping his pants for almost half a year and YOUR sorry!?!" Katsuki growled. "Little man.." Daddy warned. "uh..Katsuki..you might wan-" Deku started but Katsuki tossed the stuffie at the wall. "know what? FUCK IT! If I'm gonna be here and get a stupid diaper punishment I might as well fucking earn it. fuck YOU! fuck DADDY, and fu-" was as far as he got before the gag was popped back in. "I'm sorry Deku, somebody is cranky and need a little time out. please come back later." Daddy said. Not wanting to watch whatever punishment the blond was about to get, Deku nodded and walked away, wondering if he maybe should of mentioned that every time daddy was forced to punish Katsuki, the blond would get a week added. 'Nah..I'll just mention it to him tomorrow when I visit.'

the end?

[noladyme]

The Crown Princess of Charming - part 4

Welcome to Charming - its name says it all. Cat needed a fresh start; and though she hadn’t planned on that being in the arms of the crown prince of this little town’s bikerclub - that was what happened. Charming CA would either be the death of her - or a whole new life.

Rated M

Tag: @wonderlandfandomkingdom​

4

It was Saturday morning, and I didn’t have anywhere to be – except in the arms of the gorgeous man, who was currently playing the part of big spoon to my little one. We slept as long as we could, and cuddled quietly after that; before the prince of Charming suddenly declared that he had to piss like a racehorse; and did the naked run to the bathroom.

While he was away, I grabbed my phone from the nightstand. No calls. No messages. I exhaled in relief. Maybe he’d gotten the message.

Jax reentered the bedroom; and sat on the edge of the bed; taking my hand. “I was thinking”, he said. “This whole back and forth between here, the clubhouse and the motel… it’s not working for me”. I sat up with a concerned look on my face. “What are you saying?”. He sighed. “Ever since that first night we slept together… if you’re not there when I wake up; it feels wrong. It would be easier if you just moved in here”.

My jaw dropped. “Jax, I…”. “I’m not asking you to marry me, babe”, he said earnestly. “I just think this is the right move… for both of us”. “You’ve known me for two weeks”, I said. “Most of that time you’ve spent on the road, or having to take care of your son – which for the record is exactly what you should be doing…”. “That’s my point”, he smiled. “With you here, I can see you as much as I want… and you’d be safer”.

I clenched my jaw. “I don’t need you to feel sorry for me”, I muttered. He pulled me into his arms; and kissed my shoulder. “I don’t… shit, Cat. Don’t take it like that. I’m sorry!”. He sighed. “I want you here with me, because I’m crazy about you. The fact that it’d be easier to protect you is just a bonus”. I pulled back. “I hate the thought of you seeing me as broken. That’s not how I want to start a life with you”. He shook his head. “I don’t see you like that at all. I see a woman who dropped in to my life, and swept me of my feet. You just happen to have baggage”. He smirked. “Hell, you haven’t seen half of my baggage yet”. “You’re really selling this moving in together thing”, I chuckled.

He laughed. “Come on… Are you gonna make me beg?”. I shrugged. “It wouldn’t hurt your case”, I smirked.

He got off the bed, and knelt down on the floor – stark naked, with a grin smeared across his face. “Cat Rose”, he said, taking both my hands. “I’m on my knees – dick sweeping the floor – asking you to please leave that rathole you call a motel room; and move in to this nice house with me”. I laughed. What the hell am I getting myself in to? I sighed deeply. “Ok, yeah. Let’s do it”, I smiled. Jax’s face lit up. “Yeah?”, he breathed. I nodded and bit my lip. “But just for the record; it’s not exactly sweeping the floor”.

Jax’s face dropped; before he feigned menace. “Oh yeah?”, he said. I shrugged, and smirked. He crawled onto the bed; and yanked the covers off me; before beginning to tickle me. “Take it back”, he demanded. “No!”, I shrieked, and tried to fight him off. “You will…”, he growled; and continued his attack; moving one arm around me; to hold me against him, so I couldn’t get away. I laughed uncontrollably; unable to stop him. “Ok! You have the biggest penis I’ve ever seen”. He continued his assault. “It’s massive! Like a third arm… Please Jax!”.

He let me go; and as I regained my breath; he kissed me softly. “That’s all I wanted to hear”, he said sweetly. “You hurt his feelings”. I pouted. “Lay down, and I’ll make it up to him”. Jackson narrowed his eyes, and smiled in surprise. “Really?”. “You just saved me from having to live in that rathole I’ve been calling a motel room”, I jeered. “I’d say you deserve a thank you…”. I ran my fingers down his chest and stomach; before gently wrapping them around his beginning erection. “Lay down”, I breathed.

Jax got on his back; his head on the pillow. I straddled his legs; and stroked his thighs. They were firm from riding his bike so much; and the muscles tightened even more from my touch. With a sweet smile, and a lick of my lips; I lowered my head, and ran my tongue over the head of his penis. He hissed in pleasure.

I wrapped my hand around him; and slid him in to my mouth, feeling him grow harder by the second. I moved my mouth up and down around him; sucking all the while. Jax was groaning quietly, his hands searching for something to hold on to.

I took his right hand, and placed it on my head; pushing his fingers to hold on to my hair. “Shit, Cat…”, he gasped. I looked up at him – continuously sucking at him; but now letting him control the movement of my head. He pushed me down until I felt him at the back of my throat – and when he felt me begin to gag; he pulled me of him; still holding on to my hair. “You good?”, he panted. “Yeah”, I said. “Again”. He chuckled and shook his head. “Baby; you’re gonna be the death of me”, he said; and lowered my head again – grabbing himself, and sliding into my mouth.

He pulled me up and down shallowly; before once again lowering me all the way down. I couldn’t take all of him, but I let my hand stroke the last inches. He continued this movement; a strong hold on my hair. Shallow. Shallow. Deep. His moans and grunts made me wet, but I wanted him to have the pleasure for now. This continued for a few minutes, until he couldn’t take it anymore; and quickly pulled me up and down five times; and then thrusting as deep as I could take him – coming down my throat; and crying out.

He lifted my head up, and pulled out of my mouth. I swallowed with a pleased smile. “Shit, woman…”. Pulling me by my hair to his face; he kissed me roughly – then attacked my clit with his fingers – making me come within seconds. I cried out a moan myself – my walls clenching deliciously.

I collapsed next to him. “Goddammit, I think I love you”, he panted. “You’re just saying that, because I give good head”, I chuckled. “Well, that’s not a bad talent to have”, he smiled.

—

A short while later, I stepped into the kitchen, re-showered and dressed. Jax had lent me a clean t-shirt with the Samcro reaper on the front. He’d just brewed a fresh pot of coffee. “That’s a good look on you”, he smirked; handing me a mug. I raised a brow at him. “Still not getting inked”, I said. He chuckled.

I sat down at the kitchen table. “I’m hungry”, I said. Jax grinned. “You just had breakfast”, he said; and sat down across from me. “Sorry, but I don’t think 100 million of your little soldiers are going to hold me over until dinner”. I poked his thigh with my bare foot; and he grabbed my ankle. “No more tickling!”, I yelped. He laughed, and let go.

The front door opened; and Gemma came in; carrying Abel in a car seat. “Hey”, she said. Jax got up, and kissed his mother’s cheek. “Thanks for taking him again, mom”, he said. She smiled. “My pleasure”.

She sat the cat seat on the kitchen counter; and Jax unbuckled his son; picking him up; and kissing his forehead. “Hey, little man”, he said quietly. “I missed you”. The sight made me smile.

Gemma grabbed a mug of coffee; and sat down in the chair Jax had occupied before. “Clay filled me in last night”, she said, and looked at me. “I’m sorry, Cat. I had no idea”. “No one did”, I muttered. “Just Jax. I didn’t tell him everything either”. Gemma sighed. “Maybe it’d be better if you moved in here with him”, she said.

“We already talked about it”, Jackson said; bouncing Abel on his shoulder. “Cat’s checking out of the motel today”. I almost choked on my coffee. “I am?”, I coughed. He shrugged. “I know we didn’t exactly put a date on it; but it makes sense”, he said. Gemma nodded. “He’s right, sweetheart”. She poured out the rest of her coffee in the sink; and grabbed her purse. “I’m late for the salon. Dinner tonight? Our place. Everyone’s coming”. Jax nodded. “7? We’ll be there”.

Gemma walked over to me; and kissed my cheek. “Take care”, she said, and walked out the door.

“Jax…”, I said, meeting his eyes. “Today?”. “You don’t have work today. It’s as good a time as any”, he said, moving the car seat to the laundry room. “I’ll call Neeta. She can take the kid while we go to the motel to pack you up”. I sighed. “I paid for the week. I don’t have to move out until tomorrow”, I muttered. “And I really don’t want to deal with it yet”. “Deal with it?”, he said. “You make it sound like a jail sentence”. He looked disappointed.

“Don’t do that”, I said. “Don’t make this into a thing about me not wanting to live with you”. He shrugged. “Well do you?”. “Yes!”, I said. “But I spent the last 2 days in a constant state of fear. I just need to take a day to… get straight”. He frowned. “I’m sorry”, he said. “I get it… but you do still need to get some stuff today – unless you plan on wearing a reaper t-shirt to dinner at my mom’s”. I sighed. “Can’t you just get a prospect to bring one of my suitcases?”, I said.

He grinned widely. “You’re becoming more of an old lady every minute”, he winked. “I’ll have Rat pick something up”. “He needs my key”, I said. “Nah, he can pick the lock”, Jax said; and walked down the hall with Abel. “Of course he can”, I mumbled.

I grabbed my mug, and followed Jackson to the nursery. He was undressing Abel; getting ready to change his diaper. I leaned against the door frame. It was a strange sight to see this tattooed biker in a wifebeater; carefully wiping and changing a small baby – all the while cooing and making silly faces. It was heartwarming. And it made me think of something we hadn’t discussed.

“I know you think me moving in here is right for us; but what about him?”, I said. “It’ll be good for him too”, Jax muttered. “How so?”, I asked. Jax looked at me over his shoulder. “Come here”, he said, beckoning me with his head. I stepped up next to him; looking at the smiling baby.

Abel was wearing only a diaper, and I noticed a large scar on his stomach. Jax ran his finger over it. “Abel was born with his guts outside. His mother thought it was a good idea to OD on crank while she was 7 months pregnant with him”. I gasped quietly. “I didn’t know”, I whispered. “I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want you to feel sorry for him. He’s a fighter… like you”. Jax looked at me meaningfully. “You’re good for me… and I know you’ll be good for my kid”.

Jax began dressing Abel in a onesie; and I sat down on the pullout couch in the nursery to watch him. “Time for a nap, buddy”, he said; and put Abel in his crib. Sitting down next to me, he took my hand. “I know this is a lot to deal with. The baby; my club; the guns… but I want you with me. With us”. I sighed deeply. “I want that too; but I need to make something clear”, I said earnestly. “I’m not his mom… I will take care of him, love him and protect him… but you can’t change where he comes from… no matter how bad it is”. I bit my lip. “And I don’t want you to be with me because you’re looking for a replacement for her”. Jackson put his hands on either side of my face, and looked at me with serious eyes. “You’re not that. I swear”, he said. “But you can’t fault me for being happy that the woman I’m falling for, happens to be good for my son as well”.

I grinned at him. “You’re falling for me?”, I said. His forehead furrowed. “Darlin’… you are smart; funny; sexy… and you can do some serious damage to a folding chair. What’s not to fall for?”. I laughed, and bit my lip in embarrassment. “For a badass biker, you have a way with words, Jackson”.

His lips met mine softly; before we left the nursery quietly. Jax took my hand and pulled me into the bedroom. “I want you to do something for me”, he said; opening the bottom drawer in the dresser. “I want you to carry this”. He put a small handgun on the bed. I stepped backwards. “Jax, no. I can’t…”. “Please, babe. I need you to do this”, he pleaded. “Look…”.

He began demonstrating the use of the gun. “This is the safety. When you need to use it, turn it like this”. I was shaking my head. “No. I’m not…”. He took a hold of my wrist, and pulled me towards him. “Cat… I’m not asking”, he said with a hard voice. “This is for your protection”. I took a deep breath; and clenched my jaw. “Ok”, I whispered, my voice shaky. Jax nodded. “Safety off, yeah? Pull the hammer, point, and shoot”. He pointed the gun towards the mattress, and pulled the trigger. The gun clicked. “Now you do it”.

With a trembling hand; I took the gun from him. I pulled the hammer; pointed at the mattress, and pressed the trigger. The click from the gun almost made me topple over. “Shit”, I whimpered. Jax put his arms around me. “Good girl”. He kissed my forehead. “You’ll be fine”.

Letting go of me; he got a magazine filled with bullets, and slid it into the handle of the gun I was still holding. “Can I put it down now?”, I whispered. “Keep it in your purse”, he muttered. I nodded.

“Shit, I think I need a drink”, I breathed. “It’s not noon yet”, Jackson chuckled. “I can roll you a joint”. I laughed nervously. “I’d say yes, but I have to take a drug test on Monday”. He smiled. “Shit, I forgot”, he chuckled. “If Bobby brings brownies tonight, don’t eat ‘em”.

I sat down on the bed, putting the gun next to me. “You don’t see how absolutely insane this is?”, I laughed. “Your son is sleeping in the next room; and you’re teaching me to shoot a gun, which…”, I checked, “… oh yeah; has the registration filed off!”. “It is what it is, babe”, he said, and sat next to me; kissing my shoulder. “Are you gonna be ok?”. “I’ll have to be, right? If I want this… You…”. He half smiled, and kissed me.

—

Jax left for church a few hours later, leaving me with Abel; who I insisted I could take care of alone. “I’ll need to learn, right?”, I smiled. He’d kissed me goodbye – and muttered a few words to Rat, who was watching tv in the living room. He’d arrived in my car, with a nervous smile, and one of my suitcases. I got dressed in a button up flowered dress.

“You look nice, ma’am”, Rat said; when I joined him in the living room. “Thanks, Rat”, I said. “But please call me Cat”. Rat nodded.

I got him a cup of coffee, and went to feed the baby; when there was a knock on the door. Rat sprang up, and got to the door before me; gun in hand. “Rat, relax!”, I hissed, holding Abel to my chest. “Sorry”, he muttered.

He opened the door slightly. “Delivery for Catherine Rose”, a man’s voice said. Rat took something from him, and closed the door in the man’s face. “This is for you”, he muttered. He held out a bouquet of pink roses. My breath hitched. “Throw them out”, I said. Rat frowned. “Sure… but there’s a card”. He handed me a small envelope. “Can I give them to my mom?”, he asked. “Whatever. But I don’t want them in my house”, I said. My house, I thought. This is my house.

I placed Abel in his high chair, putting some building blocks in front of him. Sitting down myself; I carefully opened the small envelope, and pulled out the card. - I forgive you. It’s time to move on from this. J.

What the hell did that mean? And how did he know I was here? I wanted to call Jax, but it was 3.15, and I knew all phones would be off during church. “Rat?”, I called out. The scrawny man stepped into the kitchen. “Yes ma’am… Cat”, he smiled. “How long do club meetings usually last?”, I asked. “It depends… why?”. I sighed. “We need to go to TM”.

I picked up Abel, and Rat got the car seat. We were out the door within minutes.

—

Pulling up at TM, we were met by Gemma – hair looking amazing after getting her highlights freshened up. “Hey, sweetie. Do you need me to take the baby again?”. “No”, I smiled nervously; bouncing Abel on my arm. “I need to talk to Jax”. “Tell me what’s wrong”, she demanded.

I gave her the note from Josh; and pulled the baby to my chest; holding on to him tightly. Gemma read the card. “What does it mean?”, she asked. “Hell if I know”, I said. “Come on”, she said; and I followed her into the clubhouse.

Jackson was sitting and smoking a cigarette at the bar when we came in. He put out the butt, and stepped over to us. “Hey, darlin’”, he smiled. “What’s wrong?”. Gemma handed him the card. “This came to the house. With flowers”, I said.

He read it with a bewildered face. “This is good”, he said. “This could mean he’s backing off”. I scoffed. “I don’t know Jax”, I said with a sigh. “How did he know where to send it?”. Jax ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know. No one but the club knows you were there; and they wouldn’t talk”. “I know”, I muttered. “So is he watching me?”.

“Rat!”, Jax called to the prospect. “Were there any strange cars around the house? Anyone come by?”. “Just the delivery guy”. “What did he look like?”, Jax demanded. “20’s. Black…”. I shook my head. “Not him”, I said. “But he knows people… Shit!”.

Gemma took Abel from me; and left us to go talk to Clay. Rat sauntered off to do whatever it is a prospect does; when they’re not playing bodyguards for terrified women.

Jax sighed. “We do nothing. For now”, he said quietly. “Ok”, I whispered. “You’re gonna be fine. Did you put the gun in your bag?”. I nodded. “It’s in my purse in the car”. “No”. He shook his head. “You keep it on you. Ok?”. His eyes were hard. I met his gaze. “Yes, sir”, I said with a frown. He grinned. “I like the sound of that…”, he jeered. “Sorry, I’m not feeling very sexy right now”, I muttered. He put his arm around my waist; and leaned in. “Well, you look it”, he whispered in my ear. “You have no idea what dress does to me”. His hand ghosted my ass; and I bit my lip – heat spreading from my core.

“Yo, Jax!”, Juice called. “Can we give it to her now?”. “Shit. Yeah!”, Jax grinned. “The boys got you a housewarming present!”. I looked at him incredulously.

Juice ran off down the hall, and returned a second later, carrying something large behind his back. “Now let me be the first to say; I am so happy to that you two crazy kids have – finally, after all this time – decided to stop living in sin!”, Chibs said heartfeltly. “It’s been two weeks, Filip”, Jax said. “And we’re moving in together. Not getting married”. “Yet!”, Gemma sneered from her chair. She was feeding Abel a bottle. I grimaced.

Tig stepped forward. “Either way, doll. Welcome to the family. This is from all of us”. Juice pulled out their present. “Tada!”, he said with a grin on his face.

It was a folding chair – with a big red bow on it. There was a roar of applause.

“Jax!”, I yelled, and punched his shoulder. He laughed. “I might have mailed the video to Juice from your phone, while you slept”.

Bobby stepped up, and took my hands. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, sweetheart!”, he smiled. “I haven’t seen dancing that sweet, since my Vegas days”. I flushed red. “It’s after noon. Can I have a drink now?”.

“Champagne?”, Juice asked. I sighed. “You found the other video as well”. “It’s on YouTube”, he smiled.

I walked up to him; took the chair, and made it twirl under my hand. “I still got it”. “Yeah!”, Happy grinned. It was the first time I’d ever heard him speak, and I sent him a smile.

I made a curtsey, and put the chair against the bar. Phil handed me a beer. Jackson sat on a stool; and pulled me against him. “So, what’s the verdict?”, I asked. “Church…”. Jax sighed, and lit another cigarette. “Well, Juice wants me to dump you. But that’s because he wants to be your rebound. Remind me to kick his ass for that”, he chuckled. “We’re gonna amp up security here, and around our house”. His use of the word our made my knees weak, and I stifled a smile. “So you think there might be a risk of something happening?”, I said. “We don’t know. But the feds showing up like they did… even if it has nothing to do with that asshole, it’s still bad. Either way; no one blames you for anything. Not that they would”.

I looked around the room. I couldn’t help but feel a bit uneased.

“What would have happened if I wasn’t with you”, I whispered. “You are…”, Jax said. “Yes, but… what if I wasn’t? What if I was just some chick who moved in to town; and brought the FBI with me?”. I looked at him seriously, wanting an answer. He clenched his jaw. “It still wouldn’t be your fault. And we don’t kill women”.

His words made me shiver. “Who do you kill?”, I muttered. He shook his head. “Another time, Cat”, he said.

“Put out that cigarette, and burp your kid”, Gemma said, walking over to hand Jax his son. He let go of me; and took Abel – putting him over his shoulder. “I need to get home and start cooking”, Gemma said, and looked at me. “Wanna come help me?”. “I’m a crappy cook”, I smiled. “I’ll have to rethink that wanting you to get married thing”, she scoffed with a smile. “Come on. I’ll let you peel the potatoes”.

—

I went with Gemma to her house; bringing Abel with us. Rat followed on his bike. Gemma was a beast in a kitchen; and I was scrambling to follow – but she didn’t chide me once. She even gave me a few tips; feeling it necessary after I told her about the time I’d literally burnt a cup of tea.

At 6.30, a roar of bikes was heard outside. Jax arrived in my car; having left his bike at the shop. We sat around Clays and Gemma’s large dining table; having a delicious meal. All through dinner; Jax held my hand whenever he wasn’t stuffing his face.

I felt warm. Loved. There wasn’t a sour face among the people surrounding me. Opie had arrived with Lyla and their kids; and Ellie had her nose buried in my Pippi Longstocking. She finished it during desert; and came over to hand it to me. “Keep it, Ellie”, I said. The girl thanked me; and Opie sent me a warm look.

This was right. Good. It was home.

Around 10.30; we packed up a sleeping Abel; and left in my car. We passed by TM for Jax’s bike; and he followed close the rest of the way home. Jax put his son to bed, and joined me in the kitchen. I was filling the dishwasher; when he stepped up behind me, sliding his arms around my waist.

“Hey”, he breathed, and moved my hair to kiss the back of my neck. “Did you stay away from Bobby’s brownies?”. “Yeah… but they smelled like heaven”, I sniggered. He pressed his body against me. “You smell like heaven”, he whispered. I turned around in his arms; and put my own around his neck. “You’re drunk and high”, I smiled. “Stone cold sober, baby”, he grinned.

He exhaled deeply; and looked down my body. “That dress…”, he sighed, and bit his lip. “Shit; the bed is too far away”.

I yelped, as he grabbed my bottom and carried me over to the kitchen dining table. “Jax!”, I gasped. “What are you doing?”. “Christening the house”, he said, and sat me down; placing himself between my legs. “You’ve lived here forever”, I laughed. “Not with you”, he answered. “And I’m gonna have sex with you in every room; until every wall in this place has had a good view of your perfect tits”.

He began unbuttoning my dress. I pulled him in, and kissed him; moaning slightly. “Shh, baby. I’m focusing here”, he grinned; and unwrapped my torso; leaving me in my bra. That disappeared quickly, with almost a flick of his wrist. He let out a long sigh. “Kitchen walls… meet; tits!”. “Jackson!”, I shrieked, and covered myself with my arms. “Nope”, he said; and forced my arms to the sides. He grabbed on to my left breast; and latched on to my nipple; making me gasp. He repeated his attack on my right breast; before meeting my lips and tongue.

“I’m gonna do you on this table, now. You understand?”. His face was hard. “Yes”, I whispered. He grinned menacingly. “I don’t think I heard you”, he snarled. “Yes, sir”, I said; looking straight into his blue eyes. “There we go. Stand up”.

I stood up in front of him. He raised the skirt of my dress, that was still hanging from my hips; and hooked his fingers into my panties – pulling them down; and kissing my thigh in the process. I stepped out of them. He stood up, holding my underwear up in front of him. “I’m keeping these”, he said; and stuck them in his pocket. His fingers lifted my chin, and kissed my lips gently; before turning me around with force, and – with a strong hand on my back – bent me over the table.

I heard him unbuckle his belt; and rustle with the fabric of his jeans. His fingers lifted my skirt, and without warning, he pushed in to me with a groan. “Please…”, I gasped. “Please, what?”, he breathed. “More!”, I groaned. I heard him chuckle; and he pulled out a little, before slamming into me again. His hand went to the small of my back; and his thumb went between my cheeks – probing at the ring of muscle there.

He began thrusting steadily. No sweet words or softness – and I was loving every second of it. Jax leaned over me, and moved my hair from my face. “Do you want more?”, he rasped into my ear. “I want to hear you say it, darlin’”. “Y-yes, sir”, I mewled. “Shit”, he chuckled, drawing out the word. “There ain’t a chance in hell I’m ever letting you go”.

He pushed into me with force, and smacked my ass. The delicious sensation of his hardness moving in and out of me was enough to push me over the edge; and I cried out on pleasure. “That’s it, baby”, he groaned, and sped up his movement; nearing his own end. “Keep going, just like that… Ahh!”. He came inside me; and collapsed on top of me. He breathed heavily for a moment, before pulling out of my warmth. “Tomorrow we do the laundry room”, he smirked, and stood up – underlining his words with another smack to my bottom.

It took me a minute to regain the strength to stand. When I did, he was leaning against the counter – pants still undone, but penis wrapped safe behind his boxers. “You don’t play fair”, I grinned, and pulled my dress off completely; throwing it on the floor. “I’m gonna take a shower”. “Want company?”, he smirked. “No, I’m good”, I said. I nodded towards my clothes on the floor. “Clean that shit off my kitchen floor, Teller”. I walked naked down the hall towards the bathroom. “Yes, ma’am”, he called after me, with a chuckle.

—

We had a good night’s sleep – Jax only getting up once to soothe a crying Abel; who needed a changing.

The next morning, Jax’s phone rang early. He untangled himself from my arms, and answered the call. “Yeah?… Shit… No, I’ll be there. When?… Ok… No, I need him here… Bobby… Yeah, I get it… See you there”. He hung up, and sighed deeply. “I have to go”, he said, and kissed the top of my hair. “I’ll call Neeta; have her take the baby”. “I can take him”, I yawned. “You need to go to the motel, and pack up”, he said. “I was gonna have Phil go with you, but Clay needed him. Go to the clubhouse and wait for me. I’ll take you myself, when I get back”. I sighed. “No, I’ll go myself”. “Cat, no…”. “It won’t take long. 30 minutes. I’ll go in; pack up the car, and go to the compound straight after that”.

He clenched his jaw. “Bring the gun”, he said. “Yes, sir”, I smiled, and kissed him. He smirked, and pulled me close. “I was serious when I said that I think I love you”. I grinned. “I think I love you too”, I whispered. We lost ourselves in a deep kiss for a minute; before we heard Abel fussing over the baby monitor.

A little while later we said goodbye to Abel and Neeta; and gave each other a goodbye kiss; before driving in opposite directions.

—

It was weird driving in to the motel parking lot. There was a sense of finality to it. I was starting fresh for the second time within weeks – but this time I had an actual home to start anew in.

I let myself in to my room, and smiled at the crumbled sheets – the sign of the last night I’d spent there with Jax. Most of my things were still in boxes; I only had some laundry laying around; and quickly packed them up; taking a couple of trips, back and forth between the room and the car. Taking a final look around the room to check if I’d forgotten anything, I was about to go check out; when the door sprang up behind me.

Four men wearing ski masks sprang into the room. “Hi, kitty”, one of them jeered. I was about to scream; when I took a blow to the face from one of them. I fell to the floor; and he straddled me; holding me down. I scratched at him; pulling at his shirt – revealing a tattoo of a swastika on his arm. There was a name next to it – Linda. I imprinted the tattoos in my mind.

“Get it done!”, one of the other men hissed, and the man swung at me again. I turned my head just in time to miss his blow. My purse was on the floor a few feet away, and I reached for it – when the man on top of me got up; and pulled me by the hair, to throw me on the bed. I scrambled to get away, but one of the others, took a hold of me. “This town is dangerous lady”, he said. “You should have stayed where you were”.

The man that had sat on me, began unbuckling his belt; when another stopped him. “Darby said…”, he began. “Shut up, you idiot!”, the man holding me said. “But keep your damn pants on”, he said to the other.

I scratched at him, managing to wrestle free from his grasp; and throwing myself at my purse – going for the gun inside. Someone kicked me in the stomach; and I folded in to myself; gasping for air. “Please”, I gasped.

One of the men was guarding the door. “Finish up!”. Two of them held my arms, while the third sat on my legs, and pulled out a syringe, filled with a brownish fluid. “No…”, I begged; sobbing. “Don’t!”. He lowered the needle to my arm. “It doesn’t need to go in the vein; she just needs it in her system”. “Just let me do it!”, the man with the syringe growled.

He punched the needle into my arm; and I screamed – one of the men covering my mouth. The needle emptied into my arm; and I soon went slack. The room started spinning.

“It’s done”, someone said. “Who is this bitch, anyway?”. “Doesn’t matter. It’s 500 bucks”. “Shit, I’ve seen her with Samcro. That’s Jax Tellers old lady!”. “Goddammit, let’s get the hell out of here!”.

I heard them scramble, and leave the room – slamming the door behind them.

I told my body to move; but I had no control. I couldn’t lift my head – I could hardly see. Everything was a blur.

And then it went black.

—

[bates--boy]

Peter was just about done with work that day, cleaning the bottles for the infant animals when his phone buzzed in his pockets. He shut the sink off, yanked off the wet rubber gloves, and pulled his device out of his pocket. “Oh!” he chirped, seeing the name of the sender.

         [Naseem] Yo, Pete, it’s Naz. Was wondering if you have plans for lunch today? 

         [Naseem] I wanted us to do some extra rap practice and maybe go over the lines between Troy and Stefan before our big night

          Peter turned to sit back against the lip of the sink, hugging one of his arms across his torso as he typed. 

          [Peter] i have a half-day today so i’m free once i clock out at twelve.

          [Peter] i’d be happy to buy you lunch if you haven’t eaten yet. i know a great place to get a bite to eat.

          [Naseem] Bet. My break’s half past noon. See you at your work?

         [Peter] fine by me! see ya!

          Smiling at the screen before shoving his phone into his pocket, Peter finished cleaning the rest of the bottles, went to the changing area to wiggle out of the waterproof overalls, and then to the employee area to punch out at the time clock and fetch his hoodie and his copy of the stage play from his locker. He looked down at the practically beaten-up book, some pages curled in, corners folded, colorful tabs poking out of the pages: pink for Josef’s spoken lines, blue for Troy’s; green for Josef’s songs, yellow for Troy’s. Slightly crinkled from the times Peter shoved it into his bag to carry at all times, or when he had his quick bursts of sleep while reading over the thing.

          With a quick cleaning at the employee basin, Peter made a brisk walk back to the grounds, heading to the entrance area. He sent a quick message of his location and waited with the play lying open, quietly murmuring Josef’s verses. Soon, the familiar deep blue XC60 rolled onto the lot, with the Nigerian, Palestinian, and Swedish flags painted across the back. Naseem climbed out and waved as he strolled over, a leather messenger bag slung over his shoulder and his copy of the play rolled in his hand. When he drew close enough, Naseem said, “Wow, it’s been a while since I last came here.”

           “Ah, so you probably don’t know about the new aerial arts performance they have here,” Peter grinned as they walked back to the conservatory grounds together. 

         Naseem shrugged. “I have. And I’ve been meaning to come check it out, but, you know. Schedule..”

          “Well, the next time you’re free, come on over! I can even sneak you in for a show!” Peter nudged his shoulder against Naseem.

           “How are you gonna--” Naseem stopped once he saw the coy grin on Peter’s face. “Lemme guess: you’re the star?”

          “One of them.” Peter bobbed his shoulder and looked away in faux modesty. He giggled and patted Naseem’s arm. “Come on, I know a great picnic area we can practice in.”

          Peter and Naseem took the stroll to the benches, dodging giggling little kids darting everywhere to get to the next animal enclosure that caught their eye, and the wandering animals that escaped their habitats, mainly small bird and marsupial species. After Peter bought them both bottled smoothies at one of the snack kiosks, they settled at a table near the wooden fence post, drawing annoyed glances from passersby as they sat on the tabletop instead of the benches.

         “Which scenes do you want to practice today?” Peter asked before pulling a long draught from his bottle. “We can just do a couple so I can treat you to lunch.”

          Naseem skimmed the pages he had marked, going back and forth and shrugging. “Ones that have our characters singing so we can work these vocal cords. Let’s start with...” he consulted his shorthand notes. “Act III, scene 4. So, my character comes up to yours.”

          Naseem clambered down the picnic table, took a few steps away, and stomped back. The chills Peter felt may or may not have to do with the complete switch of energy Naseem made. Even his green eyes flared with fury.

          “Why the hell did you do that to Josef?!”

          Peter sighed as his character did, shifting on the table and leaning forward on his knees. So cool and unaffected, to the point of almost being despondent. Peter still couldn’t figure this Troy out, but he spoke his lines.

          “I didn’t do a thing to him, Stef.”

           Naseem crossed his arms and tilted his head. “Oh, really? So when he said no to that stage deal because ‘his mom’s gonna die alone in their apartment while he’s out singing for pocket change’, that wasn’t you?” Peter had to pause here, as Troy struggled to find an excuse. Naseem threw up his arms. “God, what is wrong with you?! What kind of a friend are you?!”

          “A realistic one.” Peter’s tone remained calm, stoic - a stoner too mellowed out to get worked up.

          Naseem rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. Realistic. Jo finally had what he needed right in his lap, and you couldn’t even be supportive of him because you’re realistic. That’s bull crap, even for you.”

          “You can say whatever you want about me, Stef, but of all these people feeding him these wild dreams --” Peter swept his hand about, gesturing to a figurative crowd while a few eyes turned their way. He pointed to his own chest. “--I’m the only one looking out for him.”

           “No, looking out for him would be helping him with this. He has a chance to get a better life, but you don't want that for him!"

          "I don't--?!" Peter gave a scoffing laughing and rolled his eyes. "You're so far off, it's funny!"

           "Yeah? So all this time you kept telling him to don't do it, it's not because you know you're wasting your own life being some bum mad that you lost your trust fund and you're angry that Josef can make it?"

          "No!" Peter's voice started to boil, Troy's cool, arrogant façade starting to crack and chip. His free hand curled into a shaking fist.

          "Then why? Why are you being such a shitty friend?!"

          Out of the corner of his eye, Peter could see a uniformed figure walking up to them, parents trying to distract their kids from the argument.

          "Because this would break him just like it almost did me!"

          In a blink of an eye, and a sudden flush of heat on his cheeks, Peter was on his feet, too, feeling Troy's despair as he and Naseem were practically nose to nose. For all the anger, the anguish, and the overprotective adrenaline Troy was supposed to feel at that moment, Peter channeled the underlying heartache and exhaustion; he sounded tired.

          "Like it did my sister."

          "Er, excuse me," the uniformed man said when he came close enough, a hand reaching out to them. "Is there a prob--"

          Naseem stared at Peter for a breath. "Your sister?"

          Peter gave a soft, sad laugh. "Oh, that's right, I never told you about Anna, did I?" He silently filled his lungs with air.

You don't know the story of a boy and a girl Mommy pleasers destined to dominate the world

           The worker looked between the two men, casting an especially long glance at the singing one. "...What?"

Born to hold the dreams that Mommy tucked away Cause she got bare footed and pregnant Waiting on her someday

          The worker furrowed his brows. “What is--” he spotted the open scripts in their hands and lowered his own hand. “Oh... okay...”

         Peter felt a tickle of a grin almost appearing on his lips, amusement almost breaking his character. Almost.

Commercial deals, toddlers on every single ad Barely out of diapers, and we’re out there selling fads Taught to walk so we could tap dance and do a twirl And hold our hands out for all the gold, silver, and pearls

Yanked outta school when the lime lights calling us Daddy got you a gig, so you better not fucking fuss! Tuck in your gut, tilt up your chin, chest out and sing You’re gonna make it worth taking this diamond ring

What you do with heavy makeup and cameras flashing? Swallow cotton and pinch our cheeks red to stay dashing Seeing enemies in friends looking for a ladder to climb Trying to bring you to ruin when they find the right time To strike, like vipers on the hunt for your big juicy kill And the only way to stop the cracks is a tiny yellow pill

A tiny yellow pill A tiny yellow pill A handful of tiny yellow pills Until her heart went still

          Naseem slowly started to unfold his arms, his character Stefan hit with a world-shattering realization. “Oh...”

          Peter turned his face away. “Yeah...”

         Naseem shook his head and sighed. “Man, I’m... I’m sorry. But, see, here’s the thing...”

 I had never known you were crushed this hard Ruled by your fears, beaten, tattered, and battle scarred Now that I think it, so much shit start to make sense Is this why a little stage work gets you so incensed?

I hate that for you, all this pain you’ve been burdened Chasing a high and identity that doesn’t leave you hurtin’ But it’s unfair how you hurt Josef with your sister’s ghost Breaking a dream for someone else’s overdose

What does it do for the person on the other spectrum Piss poor, tryna get meds for his ailing, dying mum When even his close friend is robbing him of a dream Cuz he can’t stop himself from falling apart at the seam? Still blinded by phantom lights, suffocating at the gills? What about Josef’s mum little pills?

Her little pills Her life saving pills If she don’t get hers, then her heart will stand still.

          This was the part where Peter is stunned into silence, indignant, hurt, scrambling for more excuses, still trying to cling to the death of his sister -- the crux of Troy’s listlessness and indifference. But then a loud cry rang out around them.

          The crowd of mere picnickers grew during their rehearsal, it seemed, now cheering and clapping and whistling, someone even going “You tell him, baby!”

          Stuttering, Peter looked towards Naseem and exchanged smiles with him. They stood closer together, held hands, and took a bow.

          “Thank you, thank you!” Peter called out, waving to the cell phones held out. “If you want more, purchase tickets for Inner City Lights before they sell out!”

          “Written and produced by Gunnar Didig!” Naseem added, calling out the website to purchase over the hooting and whistling.

[itoshit]

Sighting while looking at the mess I've made, I pick up the knife to cut the ropes off your wrists and ankles.

Now on my knees I look at you.

I wasn't feeling particularly guilty but I felt bad.

'Am sorry for my men. Bonten isn't supposed to behave like this.'

Your eyes were throwing daggers at me and I could understand the why. But fuck I was sick.

Why did I want to fuck you here on the spot?

'I'm gonna pick you up and bring you somewhere else to treat your wounds. Don't fight, it won't get you anywhere.'

Holding you close to me I left the room sticking of blood and joined my office.

Not the same where we fucked last time, no. The office in Bonten's hideout.

Putting you on the leather sofa I called the doctor. I'd no idea how to take care of injured people anyway.

'Your wounds are not very deep. They won't leave scars, I just need to sew one up and you'll be good.'

'Thank you'

Sitting in front of you two I was watching you carefully.

'Vee. I really want to explain the whys and the hows but I prefer waiting for our guest. She'll tell you everything herself. She's not supposed to come too late anyway'

'Fuck you'

'Look. I've never pretended to be the good guy. Before even having sex with me you knew who I was. You saw my gun. I warned you about your friend and you still decided to not listen. Resulting in my executives and I doubting your innocence. Our methods are not clean, and my hands are tainted with blood. But that didn't prevent you from begging me for more.'

'You should have done your researches better'

'Probably. But as I said before, we're ruthless. We kill people and I found torture to be quite... efficient to obtain answers. That's our way. You're lucky they didn't hurt you more.'

Hearing you scoff I look at you.

'So now I should be grateful ??'

A loud knock cutting our discussion short, I saw Sanzu and Koko entering the room while the doctor was leaving.

'Right on time. Your bitch is arriving soon. Vee, if might I say Veenus, this is Haruchiyo Sanzu and Hajime Kokonoi. Two of my executives. And the two who've been in contact with your friend Natalie.'

'Natalie?'

'Grace, Jackie. Busy yourself for the time being, she'll arrive soon anyway'

Now sitting next to me Koko started counting his cash while Sanzu popped a pill.

'And Haruchiyo, next time a girl gives you drug, don't. Or I'll kill you too'

Raising his hands in surrounder Sanzu laid on another couch.

You looked out of place, you in my office, blood on your legs.

'You wanna eat something? Drink something?'

'Lasagnas please'

'Oh that's Mikey's favourite food'

Glancing at Sanzu who looked already wasted I took his jacket thrown besides me and wiped the excess of blood on it.

'Hey Mikey what the fuck?? This shit costed me thousands yens!!'

'And??'

'Koko gimme some money so I can-'

'Why would I? You always come to me when you're low on cash.'

'The hell? You're my friend?'

'Clearly not'

Your chuckles surprised the three of us I think. Stopping what I was doing I looked at you and saw you smile. But as soon as you noticed it, you dropped it.

While time passed my personal chief cooked what you requested and you were now eating, not even looking at us.

'Mikey?'

All eyes turning to the door, Ran was standing tall and proud with a petite blonde woman by his side, bruises all over her face.

'That must be the star of the night. Where are the bruises from?'

'Not us, our guys found her like that'

Frowning I was ready to stand up and examine her but you overtook me and jumped on her, hugging her tighlty.

-Mikey

now….

I squeeze Nat hard, forgetting about her wounds and my own for a second. Pulling back, I frown at her face. Purple peppers her browline, cheeks and jaw in bruises of all shapes and sizes, blood dribbling from her nose. She looks awful. Like me. Nat—

Mikey separates us, and keeps me behind him with strength I didn’t even know he had. I claw as his back, trying to close the distance between my friend and I. His friends restrain me, leaving him to examine Natalie without any hassle. Took you long enough, he quips, gripping her chin roughly, a low whistle escaping his lips as he perused the damage. Somebody fucked you up before we could. How many people have you pissed off, Natalie?

The chef comes in just then, a steaming tray in their hands. They bow immediately, knowing they’ve just entered a tense situation at a really inopportune time. He unveils the cheesy dish, its delicious aroma wafting up my nose. My mouth would water any other time, but tonight I just feel sick. I play with my fork as a sign of good manners, but other than that the food went untouched.

Hey, Mikey calls my attention over to him, tapping the outside of my thighs—furthest away from my injuries. Eat.

As much as I wanted to say it was spite keeping me from stomaching my favorite dish in front of him, I can’t manage to. I had been through too much today. Food’s the last thing on my mind.

Mikey frowns at that. I almost make the mistake of thinking he actually cares for a second before looking away, remembering what went on a few rooms down while he watched. Fuck him, and his fucking organization. I wanted out of here as soon as possible.

But for now, I guess I had to play jury duty, my friend from diaper days up for persecution. How fucked up was that?

Well, Natalie, Mikey smiles, the venom behind it faintly hidden. Why don’t we start from the beginning? When exactly did you become an enemy of Bonten?

[ft-dads-au]

The Last Time

A collaboration by @mdelpin​ and @oryu404​

Whumptober 2020 Prompt: On the Run Pairing(s): Siegrain x Gray, Gray & Aki, Gray & Lyon

AO3 | FF.Net

Summary: All it takes is one night to turn Gray’s world upside down, forcing him to face the truths he’d been denying for so long.

April 23, 2020

11:33 pm

Take only what you need.

The words had sounded so simple when Lyon had uttered them over the phone a few minutes earlier. They’d even managed to dampen the panic bubbling inside him by giving him a direction. But now that Gray was surrounded by all of his belongings, he could barely identify them, let alone decide which ones were essential.

He entered their spacious walk-in closet and pulled two suitcases down, randomly grabbing items from hangers while keeping an ear out for any movement from his son. Jeans, shirts, underwear, a belt, and an extra pair of shoes all made their way into his suitcase, along with a host of other items he barely looked at. On a whim, he grabbed a few of his more expensive watches from the island where they kept their jewelry, belts, ties, and cuff links, knowing the only money he’d have access to would be the one in Aki’s savings account.

Dadddaaaa!!

The sound of his son’s desperate screams echoed in his head as he packed, and he couldn’t stop the tears from falling or his body from shaking as visions of coming home to find Siegrain beating their eighteen-month-old son played over and over in his mind, causing Gray to rush out of the closet to assure himself that Aki was still asleep on his bed.

He hadn’t had a chance to process his emotions yet. Everything had happened so fast, but as he ran his fingers over his son’s hair, wincing at the swelling on the chubby cheeks and inspecting the darkening bruises that ran along both of his arms, he felt a cold fury grip him, unlike any he’d ever felt before. He fussed with the blanket he’d draped over Aki earlier, making sure it covered him properly, trying to make up in some way for not being there earlier.

Noticing the teddy that had dropped to the floor, he picked it up and carefully tucked it in beside his son. Aki stirred at his touch, letting out a soft whimper that tore at Gray’s heart but thankfully, he remained asleep, exhausted from all his crying, which had only stopped after Siegrain had stormed out. Gray had spent a long time holding him close, speaking soft words, and doing his best to comfort him despite being shaken himself.

Everything’s going to be okay. I promise I’ll never let him hurt you again.

He’d meant it, too. He’d put up with a lot from his husband over the years, but Gray instinctively knew this was it. This was as far as he could go on this rollercoaster that his marriage to Siegrain Fernandes had become. It was time to get off. Even if that meant leaving everything behind. His house, his marriage, his career… he would gladly give all of it up for Aki’s sake.

Gray unlocked his phone, bringing up the app that would let him see where Siegrain’s car was. He wasn’t even remotely surprised to find that his husband had made his way to one of the sleazier clubs in Crocus.

The news would have devastated him any other day, persuaded him yet again that he wasn’t enough to keep his husband satisfied. But right now, he only hoped that whatever pretty plaything Siegrain had ensnared would keep him occupied for a nice long while.

Unfortunately, luck didn’t seem to be on his side, because the red dot that pinpointed Siegrain’s location began to move. Gray watched with bated breath, praying that he’d go to another club, but the car took a turn that led it away from the downtown district and back towards their home.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

They needed to be gone by the time Siegrain returned. Otherwise, there might not be another chance for a long time. If there was one thing Gray was sure of, it was that Siegrain wouldn’t let them go without a fight. Not when he’d become so used to all the things that Gray’s fame provided. He’d claim he hadn’t meant it, that it was the drugs, and after begging for forgiveness, he’d try to make it up to them.

Until the next time…

Gray was all too familiar with the pattern and the broken promises.

12:07 am, Gray read off his watch, realizing over thirty minutes had already passed since he’d hung up with Lyon.

I want you to grab your son and drive to the airport’s long-term parking lot. I’ll meet you there in about, uhm… ninety minutes.

The knowledge that Siegrain was on his way fed into his panic, leaving him frozen in place when he needed to move the most, but one look at the small body lying on his bed was enough to get him moving. Aki needed him to do this, and he couldn’t afford to fail him.

He hurried to his son’s room, grabbing anything he thought Aki could possibly want and shoving it into the suitcases. His heart raced, making his ears buzz from the blood that was being rapidly pumped around, and it disoriented him enough to make him run around the rooms in circles as he looked for anything else he’d have to pack.

12.27 am. The numbers taunted him, and yet he couldn’t stop looking at his watch. He finally closed the suitcases but had managed to use up another twenty minutes packing. Meanwhile, Siegrain was getting closer and closer with each passing minute.

With clammy hands, Gray picked up the suitcases, moving swiftly as he hauled them down the stairs and into the garage. A sound came from one of the dark corners, sudden and loud, making him drop the suitcases to the concrete floor. “Jesus f-” He held his hand to his chest, his heart pounding so hard it felt like it was trying to escape. His eyes darted around the room in an attempt to figure out where the noise had come from, fuming when he recognized their cat slinking past him.

“Stupid cat, you almost gave me a heart attack,” he grumbled, regretting his harsh words as soon as he realized he’d have to leave his beloved pet behind as well. It made him want to go chase after her so he could pet her one last time, and listen as she purred her appreciation, but there was no time for that. He could only hope the housekeeper would take good care of her, as he doubted Siegrain would put in the effort.

Their garage was large, full of the fancy vehicles his husband preferred, but Gray walked past all of them, settling on the car he’d had in college rather than the expensive SUV he usually drove.

Gray popped the car’s trunk and tossed the suitcases inside, stopping briefly to remove Aki’s booster seat from the SUV and placing it in the other vehicle, leaving the rear door open to make it easier to position a sleeping Aki.

The moment he walked back inside, he was greeted by the loud chime of the grandfather clock he’d gifted Siegrain on one of their anniversaries. It announced the half-hour, urging Gray to move faster. Lyon would be at the airport in about thirty minutes.

He had to get going.

He was about to head upstairs when he noticed the baby bag sitting atop the kitchen counter and realized that in his haste, he’d neglected to pack any food or diapers. Grabbing some snacks from their pantry, he placed them as well as sippy cups filled with water and juice inside the bag and went off in search of diapers and wipes to take with him, promptly placing those items in his car as well.

Gray ran up the stairs and into his bedroom, giving it a last minute once-over, and as his eyes wandered over the different objects, something dawned on him. Their bedroom was just like any of the fancy hotels they often stayed at- tasteful but impersonal.

While his phone was full of pictures of their time together, their most intimate space held no mementos or personal touches whatsoever. No couple pictures, no souvenirs from their travels, not even pictures of them with Aki. Nothing to show that he and Siegrain had been together for eight years or that they had started a family.

How had he never noticed it before? Sure he was often busy with work, and usually, when they were in the bedroom, they were doing other things, but still. There should be something.

But there wasn’t, and there never had been. Their relationship had only existed in his phone, in magazine spreads, and in emotionally detached moments of pleasure. And Gray could no longer deny what he’d suspected for the last couple of years but hadn’t wanted to accept.

Siegrain had never loved him.

It hurt to finally admit it to himself, but it was just what he needed to justify his exit. And rather than make him sad, it filled him with righteous indignation.

He had given up so much to be with Siegrain - his family, his friends, his pride.

And for what?

Had he even been happy?

He glared at the expensive band that adorned the ring finger of his left hand and yanked it off. Staring at it briefly, he was hit with an idea. He entered the bathroom and threw his wedding ring in the toilet, where he now felt it belonged. Let Siegrain fish for it if he wanted it back, preferably after he’d taken a piss.

Gray knew the sadness would hit him eventually, but that one act of defiance had restored some of his confidence, making him feel more like his old self, the one that didn’t take shit from anyone, and that was exactly who he needed to be from now on.

He scooped Aki up in his arms as smoothly as he could, checking to make sure the teddy was still in the blanket. There were many things he could afford to leave behind, but his son’s favorite toy was definitely not one of them.

Aki whimpered softly as Gray made his way back downstairs, and although he wasn’t sure if his boy was waking up or not, he tried soothing him anyway, just in case.

“Shh, it’s okay, Daddy’s got you.”

He put Aki in his car seat, making sure he was as gentle as he could, not wanting to risk touching any of the bruises and setting him off again.

Don’t draw any attention to yourself, don’t break the speed limit, don’t look at anyone.

Gray knew as soon as he started the engine, that was going to be a challenge. He wanted nothing more than to slam his foot on the gas pedal and get the fuck out of there with screeching tires, not wanting to chance an encounter with Siegrain on their way out.

The only thing keeping him from doing that was seeing Aki still asleep through the rearview mirror, and the thought of his escape plan falling apart when his reckless driving would get him in trouble.

Lyon’s confident voice sounded in his head, repeating the last words he’d said before they’d hung up.

It’s going to be alright…

And Gray let himself believe him.

He took deep breaths while he checked everything- seat belts, lights, mirrors, and doors- and when the garage door had opened far enough, Gray somehow managed to drive off calmly into the night, the door automatically closing behind him as he pulled out.

[naturaldisasterfanfiction]

26. Part 3

Looking around my daughter’ room, I just need to know I have everything ready for her. Like I am just being random, but I just woke up because I needed to pee but then it came to mind, have I got everything I needed. I know I did, I got everything, but I need to make sure I got plenty of diapers, but I am just wondering. I am more than happy with this room, she is getting everything I never got, and she is a queen, will be treated like one. Chris has yet to do the crib in our room, you never know we may keep her in our room for a while, but this room is perfection, it looks like a queen is giving birth to a future princess, but she is. She is super lucky; her room is direct opposite of our room. Because the way the stairs come up, it breaks the rooms up in a way, but her room is opposite ours which I like but I know this whole house would need babyproofing badly, everything here is not childproof at all, it’s scary. But I should go back to bed, but I will just go down, I did sleep better then I usually do so that is ok and that is thanks to Chris for snuggling me, putting the cream on me and also giving up his side of the bed. I am lucky to have him with me, I sighed out turning back on myself. I feel myself waddling, it’s actually not cute but I am waddling now. I did think I would have an easier pregnancy, like the model type but in real life I am a mess. I have not got ready for much, just Chris coming back, I don’t feel sexy like Chris says but Chris has no filter, he would say it to me in a joke, but he hasn’t so maybe it is just me feeling it.

The blinds rose up automatically as I got down the steps, one of many fancy things this place has which I like. It senses its morning and the sun is rising so the first person that comes down triggers to put the blinds up, let me open the door for the dog. He is probably waiting on someone to open the door so he can come up. It’s a little cold downstairs, looking out of the window, oh it’s snowed a little so no wonder. Opening the door for the downstairs “Zeus, come up boy” I said, he will come up when he pleases, I been contemplating on if I should get my chef back in my life, I think I may do it until I am back to normal functioning life but maybe I can just do it myself, why can’t I just be a normal pregnant woman. Hearing the scurrying behind me, either Chris cuts his hair, or he gets some professional. The dog’ hair is long as fuck “morning” Zeus always sniffs my bump, I don’t know why “yes, it’s a baby in there. Shall we cook breakfast, you don’t want to go out today. It’s cold out there” Zeus walked with me side by side to the kitchen, I am getting used to this big thing now, he’s not all that bad, he is better then Chris anyways because he keeps me company for longer then he does when sleeping, Chris moves off after a while.

Bopping my head along to the radio playing in the background as I made breakfast for all “hey Google, can you wake up the house” I said aloud, we going to wake up the house without walking up no stairs. I can’t wait for this home to be filled, after the baby born then I can start having my people back, holiday will be over. I can get family here to see me, it’s just going to be good vibes “waking everyone up now” I like the Google shit I have in this home, looking down on the floor, Zeus is laying there and doesn’t move unless I leave the room. It’s hard to get him to go downstairs, he doesn’t move at all because he wants to come with me but it’s very protective of him, I like that “oh, not heard this in a while” as No Guidance started to play on the radio, going to my phone. Mel has been texting me, she misses me for once. We are usually in each other’s pockets but since being married and pregnant this is the main priority in my life, but things will be back to normal, she will be back soon. Unlocking my phone, tapping on Instagram. Tapping on the plus sign and adding to my story, aiming my camera at Zeus and panning to the cooker and stopped it, tapping in a caption ‘who needs a man when you got this big ball of fluff’ pressing send, let them have a meltdown over that, which barely shows much.

“Robbie, I don’t like this loud noise that be waking up. It’s not nice” my mom is the first to come down “but you’re here, I made breakfast for us. I hope the boys come down next” my mom is not impressed, she is not impressed because the way she has come down with her wig lopsided and a robe on “come here mommy” walking around the counter “you look very happy today Robyn” fixing her wig “I am” pressing a kiss to her forehead “I am in less pain, and I just saw a different side to Chris. Like you know he is an idiot, every time he is stupid about things” moving back from my mom “I had a warm bath like the nurse said, he helped me out of the bathtub, so I don’t fall. He watched me that I didn’t fall in the bathroom on the marble flooring then, I didn’t want him to do it. Like I was nervous about it and I wanted the pads, but I did it, he put cream there where it’s hurting. I was scared because what if he did it wrong, but he didn’t, he was so gentle with me mom, and it was then I knew how much he loves me, like that love is deep to be doing that. For anyone” my mom’ eyes widened “he did that?” my mom said “he did, like he did it. I wouldn’t even get my own mother to do that, just the nurse because they are trained in that and generally, partners don’t do it?” my mom looks impressed “and you feel better too?” nodding my head “he has impressed me, not even your own father would do that” I chuckled.

They eventually came down; I mean I did need to call Dennis twice, but he finally came down “the pancake is cold” raising an eyebrow looking at Chris “you came down late? The hell you want me to do. Warm it up for you when I am eating myself?” Chris nodded his head “your thighs are warm enough” rolling my eyes at him “I heard what you did for my daughter, it just brings me so much peace that you will be there for her. No matter what people say about you, they don’t know you and I am so happy with you. That is something many men will not do for their partners, even be here for them like this. You are someone many don’t know, the real you” I died a little inside, my mom is mentioning it at the table “did Chris make your butt better?” Dennis snorted laughing “be quiet you!” Chris looked shocked, he was not expecting that “uh thank you Monica, it wasn’t a choir for me. I did it because it’s what is right for her, with Robyn I would do anything for her. I know she felt a little weird about it but like I seen it. she is the only one I would do that for. Like I joke about it, but I would. I know like how it will be for her; she will take lots of rest. She seems happy so I am happy” the buzzer went off for the gate “I will check” Chris said, nodding my head “things are quiet, don’t you think?” I said to Dennis “to you! You’re in your bubble” Dennis said laughing “things are still a mess, oh girl. Nothing is quiet, Roc Nation seemed to have tried to handle it weird enough. I think they are scared of you; they are scared on what is next” they should be “it’s a parcel, I will get it” Chris got up “cool, probably for the baby. I be ordering a lot of shit” which I have been, some things I don’t think I needed to get.

Furrowing my eyebrows “where that nigga go?” it’s so quiet and he never came back “so I was thinking, we could sell this to Netflix. Remember how Amazon outbid Netflix but I think with this we should aim for Netflix” pulling a face “but Amazon, I like them. As a team, they are very much involved. See what happens, I am warming to the idea anyways. I am just literally counting down the days until this lady is here, I feel it so much Dennis, the tightening. The heaviness. I feel my pussy is coming out” Dennis laughed out “he is so sweet Robyn; I have to say it again. I am in shock, to hear he did that for you. I am happy to go back once this is over” my mom is so impressed with Chris, Dennis looked behind me and then I felt a hand on my shoulder “there is so much mail Robyn, like there is boxes of things. Also the team are fixing the tree up for us” looking up at Chris “I didn’t do that, really? Where is the stuff?” I mean I have been ordering but not that much “in the hallway, just filled. I see some Fenty boxes too, and also Adidas. Maybe they are gifts” my eyes lit up “I love gifts, I want to see” getting up from the chair “come and help me” looking up at Chris “and I need you to shave this stubble” I grinned at him.

I gasped “oh my god, what is all this!?” I half shouted, “can you like move it all to the second living room, because the people are doing the tree aren’t they?” Chris sighed out “man, do I have too. Is Dennis going to help me?” turning around “I will help you there brother Chris” I laughed at this bromance, they have bonded “I think this is gifts from Bey, she has some new line from Adidas and I remember seeing the box so that is it. I won’t be able to fit in that yet. That is Dior” I know these boxes “also that is Fendi, why did these all come at the same time. Roc Nation too? Chile, what they sent us” I am scared about that box now, it’s probably some dead rat in here, they hate my ass “how does that dickhead know we live here?” Chris said, seeing the box “OVO, ok then. Erm, possibly Mel may have, I am not sure but Jay Brown knows where I live, I did tell him” Chris is not impressed, Chris is picking at the tape to open it “he has a fucking nerve to do that, he wrote a whole diss track about you” Chris managed to rip it open, I wonder what he gave and the nerve of him anyways. Taking the packet from him “a baby grow” I held up and then looking into the box “he’s given baby clothes” looking up at Chris “he disrespected you so badly, that shit has pissed me. He fucking made a diss song about you” Chris is so angry “there is a note” taking it out before Chris did, opening up the note “It’s handwritten too” oh this is Drake’ handwriting “wait there!” I pointed at Chris, he is ready to come and get it at me “Rihanna, I spent days thinking about you. I spent moments where I cried, I was hurt, and I made a bad decision to make such a song. I am sorry and I hope you are happy even if it’s not with me, I want the best for you because in my eyes you are queen. Accept the gifts from October’s Very Own, and I can’t help but think Adonis will have a play friend now and we can meet and just have kid day. Love Aubrey” looking up at Chris “not even a mention of Chris?” Dennis said, oh Chris is mad “no” I pointed at him.

This is wrong but we don’t need trouble “Chris listen to me” he went to get his phone “Chris, do not and I mean do not post anything! We don’t with that, we have moved on. We are not going to write any Instagram post, because I will” Chris furrowed his eyebrows confused at what I meant “I will post some shady shit, not you. What he did was wrong. I am shocked he had the nerve to send that, he knows you are here with me. He also knows you are the father, just don’t’ get involved. I will do it. Please move the things in there” Chris will do it and then it will be something bigger, I will do it because I know what he did and I know he fucking tried to make a song about me “just calm down, help him Dennis” taking the note with me walking off, I don’t think it’s the best idea to ever get Chris to do that, not when I am trying to help rebuild his profile so people can like him again, I don’t want them to say look at the man she is with “what is it?” my mom asked “Drake” holding the note up “he didn’t mention Chris in this, he made a diss song about me. He shamed me in that studio, he didn’t know that Chris was the father, but he does now” placing the note on the kitchen counter, taking a picture of the note “so what are you going to do baby?” my mom asked “I am going to write a nice little thank you” typing out the caption ‘Octobers very own bitch sending me gifts when you wrote a diss track about me, this fatherless child doesn’t need owl for clothes! She is ok and she kindly declined the dinner date, she doesn’t like blondes boo. Imagine being such a pussy all your life that you then bully a pregnant woman….. Trash!’ pressing send, I want to say more but then I am causing havoc.

Dennis took the picture of me with all the gifts that are for my daughter, I am super happy about this, I didn’t expect it “Roc Nation doing baby grows and shit, or was that just to be cute” Chris is never happy “it works, Chris standing there complaining looks good” Dennis crouched down to me, I am like drowning in kids clothes “mhmm, it does actually. Chris, you better post a thank you, I mean it. Send it to my phone, Chris help me up” this what happens I try to be cute on the floor, now I can’t get up. Chris yanked the hood off my head “hiding in the jacket” I smiled at him “let me pick you up, don’t get up. You might hurt yourself” before I could disagree he picked me up “don’t drop me, am I heavy” the face he pulled, I am heavy for him “no” he placed me on the couch “thank you baby, I am super shocked at the gift that have been sent” Dennis held my phone to me “write the caption, and Chris, I sent the picture to you also” I hide my face with he hood on the jacket and hid my bump, I look a mess but they still know it’s me ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you! For all of the gifts sent by everyone. So many to name, this could be a long post but thank you to my Barbados family for the gifts, all of the toys, auntie the outfits are the cutest. To @kimkardashian and Kanye, her first Yeezy’s and all of the Yeezy clothing, thank you. @Beyonce @Adidas the baby grows are the cutest, Also to @Fendi @Dior @Burberry @blackpyramidofficial and my record label @rocnation my family. And such surprise from @Fenty, these unique baby clothing that my team have made, you know I would love that. I am so blessed with love and support. We are thankful!’ that is long “you done?” I asked Chris “I put thank you everyone now my back hurts from moving the boxes” shaking my head at him, he is stupid.

Poking my lips out, I feel like a baby with diaper rash because I mean it was bad enough Chris had to do it last time but it’s another night and we have to do it again “are you ready? I am going back down after, Dennis and I are playing pool” nodding my head “sure, I love the tree by the way. It makes me all gooey inside because it’s Christmas and I love Christmas. I didn’t feel it but now I do, and I get to spend it with my husband” I am super happy about the tree “it’s ok, well I wanted you to feel it. Oh and I saw the picture you posted; I was shocked. Why?” he posted a very personal picture of me, like I wasn’t even looking for him but we was sat in the living room, I was talking to my mom but I look so well, like I feel I don’t but I am just concentrating on the conversation, I don’t hate the picture but I am glad he didn’t get me looking fat “you like it? I was just playing around with my phone and I realised it was a dope picture. I was like that fucking dickhead deserves a beating for that shit. He disrespected me” he got me choked up “it was very loving from you Chris, I loved the picture and the caption, thank you” I am so loved by him “it was nothing, come on. Get on the bed” smiling at Chris “no wait, let me read the caption again” unlocking my phone, it’s the cutest “go on then, than I can put it on” such a softie he is, letting me waste his time “You said she is for everybody but she is for me, you know Rihanna but I know Robyn. That really warmed my heart thank you” Chris kissed my forehead, I love him so much.