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villainofmyownstory · 7 months ago

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Day Zero

chapter 1: The First One

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pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x plus size fem!reader

summary: Ghost and his dog Riley regularly patrol the city. A man has his own routine, every day, for almost 2 years, has to look the same. The man knows that he cannot change his behavior because deep down he still feels that someone will answer his radio signal. He doesn't lose hope. However, exactly 730 days after "Day Zero", no one shows up at the transmitter mast. Just when you finally get there. You've been trying to get here for weeks, seeing a tower in the distance. You needed electricity, and the tower had a source of light every night. And so each of you, individually, still thinks that you are the only one alive.

Chapter 1: The First One

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Day 729

Ghost & Riley

5:43 a.m., the black Gamin watch on the man's right hand started ringing. In exactly 25 minutes, the sun will rise and Ghost will be able to leave the safety of his home and begin his daily routine.

This morning is definitely warmer than the previous ones. Getting out of bed, the man decides that in the evening he will cover some of the solar panels, so that excess energy for heating will no longer be needed. He preferred to keep some panels unused in case others failed. He couldn't find any more panels in the city, so unfortunately he had to settle for the few he found in recent months.

Riley ran to the man's leg, growling quietly, he had been extremely excited since the morning.

“What's up Riley?” Ghost stroked the dog behind the ear and spoke softly to him.

This dog had been the only living thing he could talk to for almost two years. It was actually a monologue, but Ghost knew that his beloved dog understood him and even though they didn't speak the same language, they understood each other perfectly.

The man also knew that he had to try to remain civilized, speaking, listening and behaving as he had before Day Zero. After years in the army, he remembered what soldiers released after years of captivity looked like. Who were locked in isolation for long months in small, dark cells. They were quickly losing their minds.

And he had to remain human. Despite everything.

Every day, after getting up and taking a quick bathroom break, Ghost would do some exercises to wake up. And be in good shape all the time. Unfortunately, his supplies of black tea were slowly running out and surprisingly there were few tea lovers in this damn city. He never drank coffee, so physical activity had to be enough for him to overcome sleepiness.

Once he put on his old military clothes and took his gun from the safe, he headed to the kitchen, taking a few military biscuits that he used to eat during his morning routine.

"Riley come on, it's time for patrol" the dog wagged his tail and ran to his master, waiting for Ghost to put a tactical harnesses and leash on him.

On his way out, Ghost checked the surveillance cameras he had installed around the house. The area looked like any other day. Intact. For a split second he felt disappointed, he was under the illusion that he was not the only one alive in this world.

Getting into the black Ford Ranger pickup truck, he checked the gas level in the canisters in the back and the air in the tires. Everything was in order. When Riley jumped on the back trunk and Ghost checked if the dog was safe, he got into the car and slowly drove away, looking around the surrounding area. Today he was going to the eastern part of the city, there were a few houses on the outskirts that he didn't check. As the days were getting longer, he could afford to travel further and plunder new abandoned houses.

When he reached one of his checkpoints, Riley on the trunk started barking and wanted to jump down to the ground. The man, concerned about the dog's behavior, quickly stopped at one of the dead ends. The dog barked and wagged his tail, staring as if in a trance, his attention focused towards the west.

“Riley calm down, Riley!”

Ghost quickly jumped onto the trunk and grabbed the dog by the collar, trying to calm animal down and direct its attention to himself. The dog barked louder and louder and suddenly growled in a way he had never heard before. Ghost froze, he had never seen such aggression from his dog before.

“Riley, sit down. Riley!”

man's voice trembled with growing fear, despite this he tried to pronounce the commands in a loud and decisive tone. Ghost was afraid that the dog might have gotten sick, maybe he had been bitten by some sick animal during one of the patrols in a new area and the wound was so small that Ghost he missed it. Even though he checked Riley every day after every patrol. He couldn't lose his only family member. Only friend.

Suddenly the dog calms down. He sat on his hind legs and, panting slightly, looked at his owner with peace in his eyes

“Bloody hell Riley, what the fuck was that?”

Ghost shook his head disapprovingly, looking up at the dog, patting it on the belly and stroking it for a while. After making sure that the dog had calmed down, the man returned to the car and drove again, glancing at the dog in the rear-view mirror from time to time. Fortunately, the rest of the journey passed peacefully, without any strange incidents.

Ghost drove in silence with the car windows open, looking around the suburbs. The eastern part of the city was mainly inhabited by elites, wealthier people from the upper classes.

Was.

Ghost, remembering his old life, felt that he didn't miss it. Money, power, fame. He never aspired to it and didn't need it, but in connection with his work he often had contact with rich people and it was difficult for him to come to terms with them. He could never get along with them. So now, after so many days since Day Zero, looking at the empty large villas, he smiled to himself. People had so much in the past, they were concerned with getting rich, making more and more money. And what did they need it for? Now they were all dead. And large houses and expensive cars stood empty, deteriorating under the influence of the seasons.

When the former soldier reached the house he had last checked, he parked close to a large tree so that the car was hidden in the shade. He opened the trunk lid for Riley to jump down and search the front and back of the house first. Nothing really bad ever happened, no evil awaited them during the day.

But Ghost wanted his four-legged friend to feel important and appreciated. If only his life would be no different from the one before Day Zero. Even though the man was not sure whether the dog had previously served in the army, from the first day they met the man checked and was happy to find that Riley was well trained. Its previous owner must have taken care of it. Ghost was very grateful to this person.

Whoever that person was.

When the dog returned happily wagging his tail and meekly stood next to the man's right leg, it was a signal that the area was checked and safe. Ghost took a bag of raw meat from his tactical vest pocket and gave a piece of it to the dog as a reward

“Good boy” as he said this he patted the dog affectionately on the head and added

“Watch the door Riley, I'll be right back.”

Ghost easily entered the white house, which was small compared to other houses in the area. Knowing that the owners would not come back to it anyway, he simply broke the glass in the door and turned the lock from the inside.

It took him less than 10 minutes to search the house, and as he thought, unfortunately for him, he found nothing important. It was one of those houses where wealthy owners come for a few days a year when they had to do something in the city. Ghost found some bandages, batteries, two cans of beans and a package of pasta. He packed everything into a backpack and took a large pillow from the couch.

Something for Riley.

Leaving the villa, he looked around the area, the sun was shining more and more strongly and Ghost basked in the sun for a few seconds, closing his eyes for a moment. Waiting for Riley to run up to him. However, none of this happened.

"Riley, come on..."

Ghost said calmly, patting his thigh to encourage the dog to come to him.

Silence. No movement.

“Oh, come on boy, I've got something for you..” the soldier opened his eyes and stepped off the porch, looking around the front lawn.

For the first time in over 700 days, Ghost felt panic rising.

Riley was nowhere to be found.

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Day 730

You

The next day of walking was so tiring that you took each step slowly with a grimace on your face. Your feet are so injured that your white Converse shoes are not only dirty with dust and brown soil, but also have red stains on them.

You don't have the strength to walk anymore. You wipe the sweat from your forehead, straightening the old t-shirt that serves as a makeshift head cover. The days are getting hotter and the journey during the day is torture.

“Maybe I'll finally lose weight”

you mutter under your breath, standing in the shadow for a moment. The large billboard that stands in the western part of the city is slightly damaged. The advertisement for the movie, which premiered over two years ago, is slightly faded and torn.

You fan your face with your hand, hoping it will bring you some relief.

Even though almost two years have passed since Day Zero, you have not lost the excess weight, and walking in full sun was a real horror for you. Dropping your backpack at your feet, you take out a half-full bottle of water and take a few sips. Even the water in the bottle is warm.

You sigh and look around. Nevertheless, despite all the horror that took place so many days ago, the outskirts of this city do not look damaged or well-kept. Even in your previous life - as you call it - you had never been to this area. Maybe it would be worth looking around a bit, maybe you will find a working car. Or at least a bicycle.

The tingling and stinging in your feet constantly reminded you how hurt and bloody your feet were. But you had to get to the transmission tower. You had seen it for so many days and you knew there was electricity there. Even on a rainy night, the lights from the tower were visible from many miles away. You were hoping that you would be able to charge the electronics you collected two years ago and maybe you would finally hear a human voice. Some signal of life.

You couldn't be the only survivor on this earth.

After a moment of rest, you moved further west, the sun was shining stronger and higher. It must have been close to twelve o'clock. You wanted to reach the tower before sunset, hoping that apart from metal bars and many cables, there would be a technical building where you could spend the night and charge your equipment.

Life before Day Zero was kind and happy for you. However, after that day it was a fight for survival. You were suddenly alone, without family or friends. You were on your own for the first time in your life. And you weren't the survival type. You lived comfortably all your life and could count on family members. Walking towards the mast, you had time for further thoughts. After all, what else are you left with? You haven't seen a human in 2 years.

Alive, to be more precise.

You were having conversations in your head, speaking quietly to yourself every few days as if you were afraid that your vocal cords would grow together or that you would simply forget what it's like to be human. The silence of the desolate world scared you at first, sleepless nights and fear during the day accompanied you in the first year. It was only when you found a bigger city and nice, undamaged houses and moved into one of them, collecting found food and useful items, that you finally started to calm down and sleep through the nights.

However, when the batteries in the device ran out, the water in the tap stopped flowing, and the winter at home became so cold that you might as well have slept outside, because the temperature difference was practically negligible, you decided to head west.

One night, when a snowstorm and strong wind opened one window in the attic and you went to close it at least temporarily and secure it to prevent snow from entering the house, you noticed a flashing light on the horizon in the distance.

At first you thought it was just a hallucination. Maybe you didn't eat enough or ate some spoiled food and your eyesight is playing tricks on you. But as you stood there and looked out the open window. To the west, a small light kept flickering in the distance. And the next day and the next. And finally the next week too.

When more than a month had passed and the weather had finally normalized, you decided to pack the most necessary items and go in that direction.

It had to be some kind of sign.

Some miracle.

During those nights when you were waiting for the weather to allow you to travel on foot, you imagined many scenarios. You felt excited and happy. Hope. Maybe you weren't the only living person in this world, maybe there were other people that close. This thought kept you alive.

Thanks to this thought, after so many days of traveling with injured legs, you were finally close to your destination. You had to get there and see with your own eyes that you weren't crazy after all and that the red and white tower was a signpost that someone maintained to let you know that he was also here, that he was alive.

When you finally reached the fence, you didn't even notice that your emotions and tiredness had won and tears were rolling down your cheeks.

You were so very happy. So close to the goal.

The gate to the tower was padlocked.

“Fuck!”

you screamed, struggling against the metal fence. You stood there sobbing, not knowing how to get to the other side. It was impossible to climb the fence. Firstly, it was too high, secondly, there was barbed wire at the top and thirdly, you physically couldn't do it. You were too fat to pull your body up over the fence.

When you finally calmed down and wiped your tears, you walked away from the fence and noticed that next to one of the fence posts there was a piece of paper attached with a red material.

You froze.

You quickly pulled a piece of paper from behind the ribbon and unwrapped the paper with trembling hands:

“If anyone is reading this, it means I'm not alone here. You survived just like me.

My name is Ghost.

I have shelter, food and other necessary items to survive. If you are looking for help, wait here. I come to the towers every day, every day of the year. Right at noon and I've been waiting for an hour..."

You quickly looked at your watch and froze… 12:23…. No, it's impossible, you've been here for a long time, you must have seen someone, you wanted to cry again. It can't be true that the only living thing, ironically calling itself Ghost, didn't show up today. Just when you came here. Maybe you missed each other? Maybe you were here for a few minutes after all. There was hope. You were supposed to spend the night here anyway, so if by some miracle you two missed each other, there was a chance to meet the owner of this letter tomorrow.

You looked at the piece of paper again:

“...and I've been waiting for an hour.

However, if you have no good intentions and are counting on your own survival, I have to worry you. In my previous life I killed more people than you can count, now, apart from things to survive, I have a weapon with me and I know how to use it quickly.

Wait here, and until I appear, don't be afraid, because you will hear and see my dog…Riley.”

With your heart beating strongly, you finished reading the letter.

Your mind didn't even have time to fully read the content of the letter when a large German shepherd ran out from the west wing of the fence, barking loudly.

This couldn't be true.

When you turned towards the dog, you froze.

“Oh my God…Riley…boy”

It was your dog. Who disappeared on Day Zero.

And now, after 730 days, he was running towards you.

Your beloved dog has been found.

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x you #cod #ghost #call of duty fanfic #cod au #dayzero💀

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princesssascha · 5 months ago

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Summer Glow Up Action Plan (1/3 - Health)

As I mentioned in my previous post, we are going to have the best summer of our lives.

I was depressed for years, but during the summer, in just 2 months I became truly unrecognisable.

I did it unintentionally, but I believe I cracked the code to glowing up insanely fast. That is, if you're willing to get out of your comfort zone for a few weeks. But what's worse? Being uncomfortable for 2 months doing something that is good for you OR suffering for years? I'll let you answer that for yourself.

Thanks to my experience I made an action plan to make this summer even better and I'd love to do it together with YOU.

1. Mental Health

If your soul is shattered, your body will reflect that. By taking care of your mind you will automatically want to take care of yourself in every other way. Not because you think you're not pretty enough or smart enough, but because you deserve to be healthy and educated.

Get out of your comfort zone

Whatever that is. Last year I went abroad all by myself. I was so insecure about my English and I was soo socially awkward, but I did it. And when I tell you it was the most special feeling in the world. It was stressful at first, but I came back as a new person. I think it was the main factor that contributed to my mental glow up.

Obviously, you don't have to travel to a different country to glow up, but think about what's something you'd like to try that you're afraid to do. Maybe it's bungee jumping, going out to a restaurant alone, coming up to someone on the street. It is supposed to make you uncomfortable, it's called exposure therapy and it is really one of the best things that I have ever stumbled across.

Meditate

It's popular for a reason. Quiet your mind, control your breathing. You can also do yoga, as it requires the same things as meditation, however you also get physical exercise! Start with 5-10 minutes a day and work your way up to whatevers comfortable for you. You can try guided meditation/yoga for beginners.

Go outside

There's a reason why people tell you it's so important.

First, you get physical exercise, you get fit, you get healthy and everyone's happy.

Like actually happy. Physical exercise (the kind you enjoy ofc!) and being outdoors is proven to be good for your mental health. So go out. You can go somewhere crowded or somewhere isolated like a forest. You can take your pet on a walk if you have one.

Self development content

Especially YouTube, I get that some people can't get themselves to read books, but nowadays there are so many ways to educate ourselves. I will mention this topic again in this post, but I love watching YouTubers that post self development & mindset videos.

My favourite YouTubers are:

TheWizardLiz,

Mae Alice Suzuki,

Tam Kaur

If you like reading I recommend Brianna West, she's incredible.

Affirmations

I am such a fan of affirmations! If you feel bad about yourself start affirming the opposite? You feel insecure? "I am confident" etc. You don't want to affirm out loud. You can do it in your mind or listen to affirmation tapes. Even if you don't feel like it's doing anything KEEP PERSISTING! Your mind will conform.

2. Physical Health

This chapter focuses on health, not beauty, although they are connected. If you're unhealthy you won't be that attractive, because we find health attractive. So here I'll share more advice on being healthier rather than getting a sexier body. Healthy>sexy because HEALTH is SEXY!!

Vitamins and supplements

You can't be healthy if you have a vitamin deficiency. Get a blood test and start taking supplements for what you need.

Here's a little cheat sheet, although please do your own research to be safe and be mindful of what dosage you can ingest!!

Visit a doctor regularly!

If you are getting a disease it's important to diagnose it as soon as possible. In some cases it could save your life!

You need to go to your doctor at least once a year, but you should visit them at least twice a year and whenever you have any concerns. That includes a dentist, gynecologist, dermatologist etc. Although I understand not everyone has free healthcare and there are many reasons why it could be difficult for you to get there, at least go to one doctor once a year or when you suspect something is wrong.

Check up on yourself every month

Of course, you're not gonna go to the doctor every month, so it's important to do a little check up yourself every month. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

- what does your skin look like?

Are there any new moles? Maybe some spots? Just because you have a mole doesn't mean it's dangerous, but a mole could turn into skin cancer, so please be careful! Here are a few tips for recognising if a mole is actually a melanoma:

Melanoma is more likely the paler you are, but no matter what your skin color is you should always wear at least SPF30, although the higher the better. If sunscreens are too greasy for you or leave a whitecast I recommend Missha All-around safe block

Look at your skin, did anything strange appear? Something that wasn't there before? Don't forget about the inside of your mouth or between your toes. Although not very common, melanoma can also appear in your eye, in which case you need to contact a doctor ASAP!!

oral health

I don't think I need to tell you to wash your teeth, but I will still share some tips for those pretty teeth:

Oil pulling: get a spoonful of coconut oil and oil pull for 10-20 minutes. After that rinse your mouth thoroughly.

Wash your teeth for at least 2 minutes after every meal and after waking up, HOWEVER if you eat something acidic wait for at least 30 minutes until you wash your teeth. If you can't wash them rinse your mouth with water, but you should still wash them when you get home.

Use a tongue scraper! Like one of those steel/metal ones and scrape that bad boy. It is honestly disgusting how much bacteria sits on your tongue. There are also 2in1 tongue scrapers and flosses but it won't scrape anything off, so save your money. Also, only use flosses when necessary.

CHECK FOR CAVITIES!!

Seriously! I don't think it needs any explanation. Open your mouth and show your teeth. Look at how they look. If there's anything concerning contact your dentist.

skincare

Although it also suits the beauty part, what we find beautiful is just healthy. No skin conditions, clear glowy skin. What skin concerns do you have? Acne, hyperpigmentation, redness etc. Visit a dermatologist or find some skincare yourself, although do it carefully. Just because something is trendy doesn't mean it's good. Everyone's skin is different, so be mindful.

Also, there are different kinds of pimples, so check which types you have and how you can heal them. You can have just one or multiple kinds.

One universal thing: SPF! CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!

haircare

Just like with skincare, healthy hair is what we find beautiful. That's why I emphasize health so much. If you're healthy you are beautiful.

I won't talk about styling right now as it has nothing to do with health, but haircare is 80% of the job.

Is your hair greasy or dry? Keep in mind it can be both, your scalp could be greasy but your ends could be dry. Do you have thick hair or thin hair? Curly or straight? If you bleached your hair it means your hair is damaged (because it's dead), but your hair can be damaged nonetheless, so think about what you need and find products that were made for your concerns.

Learn how to wash your hair correctly. A lot of you guys don't know how to do it. Just because you rub shampoo on your head doesn't mean you're doing it right. And when you're not it could do more harm than good. I recommend theblowoutprofessor on YouTube, he explains it well.

Healthy eating

This is a pretty obvious one so I won't get into details, however if you guys want me to make a post dedicated to healthy eating lemme know in the comments!

Eat veggies and fruits, limit Ur sugar intake. Don't starve yourself, you'll have uncontrollable cravings and you'll get it all back.

move your body

Although good for you both mentally and physically, it's important to choose something you like. Here are my favourite forms of physical activity:

Dancing,

Yoga,

Pilates,

Walking,

Horse riding.

If you don't have a favourite right now, experiment. It doesn't have to be expensive, there are many sports that you can do at home with no equipment.

Try to move for at least 30 minutes/day.

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syeren · 5 months ago

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HOW ARE THEY LIKE IN REAL LIFE? — JJK MEN & WOMEN.

SYEREN; mayhaps my 12 AM thoughts… but what if the characters from jjk get plopped down into the real world? whatcha think they might be like?

Gojo — 五条悟

in all honesty…

he’s givin frat

LMAOOOOOOOO

or a rich kid with really successful parents who are either a)

architects

or b)

business owners

he also gives me the vibe that if you ask him how rich he actually is, he’ll just respond with

“i’m living comfortably xx 🫶” 😭😭😭

complains about how his body reacts to things like pollen or how his eyes get too dry throughout the day— so, he carries eye drops, lozenges, and those ointments sniffer thingys.

he also gives me the type where he looks not so concerned about maintaining good grades in academics… but he’s just NATURALLY smart

does that make sense?

he’ll just chug energy drinks to pull 3 consecutive all nighters before a final exam, and BOOM… flying colours

decides to opt for his own business and annoys utahime with how much bank he’s making

love language slowly switched from words of affirmation to gift giving, thus showering his friends with lavish gifts

right now at this point in time, he’s just berating all his friends with how much money he has

Geto — 夏油傑

minus the whole ordeal that happened

he looks the type who would ACTUALLY get his life together 😭😭

occasionally parties, still regularly studies and does his part in group projects

he would go for philanthropy or mayhaps sociology

gojo is his one and only best friend and classmate that he somehow ALWAYS gets stuck with in every class

after graduation, he’s taking a break for himself and is travelling the world

during one of his trips in thailand, he calls up gojo to ask why tf he’s bragging abt his wealth

Nanami — 七海建人

he’s never escaping the business world i fear LMAOOOOO

he really DOES give business i’m sorry pookie 😞

BUT, his OWN business where he’s his own boss and doesn’t have to work under someone else

he would much prefer that either way

but yeah, working class adult, has a dozen pack of beer or sangria wine in his own personalized wine cellar

often competes with gojo’s business, but decides to make a partnership in the end due to gojo’s persuasion

he’s also stuck in his office currently, looking at his phone in bewilderment to screenshots of gojo’s bank acc that gojo himself sent

Yuji — 虎杖悠仁

average teenager

he partakes in the track team at his school and likes to exercise ALOTTT

gym buddy in question? todo

i feel like his guilty pleasure is watching mukbangs to torture himself 😭😭

he ends up being megumi’s roommate after a long time of convincing.

he tries to keep his side clean and tidy but it always ends up being an organized mess

right now, he just came back home from the gym with todo and is in choso’s apartment watching a horror series

Yuta — 乙骨憂太

would you look at that?! average college student

LMAOOOO

definitely majors in either a) science or b) math

NOOOO WAIT

or c) computer science

overall normal kid!

i have no other words, he is also living his life to his fullest, but is very stressed out due to some big projects and tests he has coming

performance anxiety 😞

Megumi — 伏黒恵

also another average teenager

he’s a bit more toned down tho

lil’ meg over here gives me the vibe that he also knows what he’s doing and is very present in life

he’s on top of his hw, does his chores, has a comfortable room that’s neat enough for him…

he also gives me the vibe that he does NOT GAFFFF !!!!!

protect my own peace 🙏 kind of guy

in college he makes the silent regret of dorming with yuji, the complete OPPOSITE to his own tastes but thats twin 🤞

“yuji, could you take out the trash to the lobby? it’s garbage collection today.”

“what? why me?”

“because i have a meeting through zoom with my classmates”

“then do it after?”

“yuji, my zoom call is two hours, taking out the trash will take around five minutes."

"it's actually a five minute walk down to the lobby, and another five minutes back up... w-wait, why are you holding up your slipper?"

ANYWAYS, he’s havin a good time chilling with his friends 😋

Choso — 脹相

he’s for SURE in a biker club

rides a kawasaki ninja h2r with yuki from time to time

other than that, decided to work after hs and he works in a tattoo shop next door to mechamaru’s pub

big scary big brother vibes compared to golden retriever yuji 😞🙏

currently, he’s lounging in his apartment with yuki, yuji, todo, and megumi

Inumaki — 狗巻棘

he's too busy spending time with me unfortunately <3

im kidding

maybe not

ANYWAYYYYYYY, i feel like inumaki would have a hobby in pc games.

he would absolutely ROCK valorant

whenever he plays horror games he FORCES the rest of the squad to play with him because he's a pussy scaredy-cat

in his spare time he likes to do track or go on long runs whenever he feels stressed out from uni

forgets to shower sometimes after he runs, so he fucking reeks the day after

he's majoring in comp-sci

speaking of runs, look at him go! he’s on one right now

Sukuna — 両面宿儺

the most annoying and narcissistic man

AND SO MEAN TOO?!

yknow those tiktok comments or ig reel comments you see? yeah, those ones.

that’s him. he’s the one making those actually.

very misogynistic, controlling AND argumentative

he swears on the history of the world wars and somehow always brings it up during conflict? 💀

believes mental health is fake and violence can solve everything

prolly wholeheartedly disagrees with women’s rights with his ancient ass mentality

he’s preparing for an argument stream against mahito 😭

Todo — 東堂葵

GYMMM RATTTTT

ALWAYS HOGGING THE MACHINES NO MATTER WHATTTT

only talks about fitness and nutrition, girls, and what his plans are for the weekend.

“nah bro, i’m all natty rn,” “i don’t use creatine,” “what?! i’m not on roids dude! just the chicken breast and asparagus with rice”

he’s also the type to look at someone a little too long at the gym, or outside

or anywhere, in fact

studies kinesiology

hope i spelt that right 😁🤞

Mechamaru — 与幸吉

in my reality, he and miwa would be a couple

THERE I SAID IT!

he would genuinely try to be a good boyfriend while bartending in a dingy pub just two blocks away from their shared apartment.

he would be the type to spam miwa msgs on his break

lowkey wants a tattoo done by choso so he could swipe that discount 😋

Mahito — 真人

he’s known on the internet for being a controversial streamer on twitch

he also has such a shitty mic that when he screams it cuts off the sound

ALWAYS has his shirt off during the stream 😭😭

he would say the most out of pocket statements and without context, it would be the most HORRIFIC thing

so, people would clip that and post it 😟 thus, he gained a large following bc of those statements

Miwa — 三輪霞

raves about cats and dogs to her bf and after a long, agonizing wait… they finally adopted one from the pound and this is all she has been doing

taking care of her animal child, and man child that is mechamaru

I FEEL LIKE MIWA WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE ANIMALS SO THIS IS WHAT SHE DECIDES TO GO FOR IN COLLEGE

with a minor in marine biology too :3

Shoko — 家入硝子

i would catch her at a pub or a bar somewhere either drinking gin and tonic on lighter day, and more heavier days she would go for whiskey

if NOT, then she’s in an back alley smoking before she needs to go back to her like… 20 hour shift as a nurse.

spends most of her time at home and scrolling on her amazon shopping cart to see what else she can buy to help her busy ass life

Maki — 禪院真希

similar to todo, but she gives me the vibe that she would train in both calisthenics and mma as a hobby

like hobby: all that stuff, and the other half is dedicated to working towards her degree in either a science like forensics or history.

she lives her life to the fullest on her terms!! really mia from social media and is training real hard everyday

right now, she’s with nobara on a shopping trip to the mall

(she did NOT wanna go, but she likes spending time with her bestie anyway)

Mai — 禪院真依

FASHION DESIGN I REPEAT FASHION DESIGN

when i first saw mai come on screen, i also did too jus a little bit

but her aura makes me imagine that she runs a tiktok account to post fit pics onto it, has so many pinterest boards dedicated to vintage or her new obsession— office siren outfits.

also has such a GOOD spread of pictures up on instagram, like she’s THAT girl

now, she’s currently studying fashion while scourging the internet for good statement pieces like red leather kitten heels to go along with her two-piece cropped blazer and mini skirt outfit.

Mei Mei — 冥冥

hmm… 😟

teacher vibes…

but like, those english teachers that only interact positively with the popular kids

PLSSS IM SORRY OKAY, THATS THE ONLY FACTOR ABOUT MEI MEI THAT REALLY CAUGHT ME OFF GUARDDDD

APART from that

actually good at her profession, and makes sure her class is fun

the type that does NAWT give two fucks abt late hw bc she complains that “the workload will double up on her anyway”

Utahime — 庵歌姫

bc of her personality as well as her easily irritated anger tolerance with gojo…

def a head master of a boarding school or an instructor for flight attendants

occasionally goes out for drinks with shoko, but only rants abt gojo bc of his dumbass

very good at her job, and often sees her alumni if she has time in her schedule

right now, she’s currently cooped up in her office filing out different paperwork and silencing her phone from gojo’s numerous screenshots of his bank acc 😭

Nobara �� 釘崎野薔薇

the last of the bunch for average teenagers.

nobara DOES NOT give that much attention towards school, so she opts for a general of easier course— psychology being one, because everyone else is taking it so she thinks it’s easy. two, general studies.

you can find her ALWAYS OUT for some reason?!

she gains her energy by socializing and just being outside of the house in general 😭

says it’s a ‘waste of a day.’

she’s dragging around maki to push clothes into her arms that she deems acceptable and will look amazing on her

—

AN; SYEREN here! creds to @ kOmuuuug1xxx on x for the pic :3

#jjk #jjk x reader #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fluff

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auncyen · 9 months ago

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pre-canon fic feels like a balancing act with Siffrin.

the Thing is. no one in the party figures out any of Siffrin's issues during months of traveling with them except for noting their infamously bad memory. Which gives the impression that Siffrin is pretty good at recovering or redirecting from other spotty moments. Also, the fact that the group is startled by Siffrin forgetting what they were talking about mid-conversation implies it's probably the first time that's happened and thus pretty rare.

Like Odile and Isabeau do seem to be aware Siffrin is not particularly good with feelings. Odile will note at the end that they should try letting down their walls more and Isabeau tries to rope them into feelings talks that never happen. But at the same time Odile notes she's not particularly good with feelings either and like. neither really give off the impression that pre-loop they thought Siffrin's reticence was particularly noteworthy? the "taciturn" dialogue especially paints this as something the group is aware of but in a very lighthearted, 'oh that's normal it's just a quirk of Siffrin's to tease about' way. His breathing exercise is noted, but never seems to cause any questions about why he does it regularly enough for them to notice (this might have been partially because Mirabelle herself has anxiety and Isabeau sounds like he probably has/had issues with it, though not as severely?)

So like. it's basically figuring out "how Concerning can Siffrin be while not making the rest of the party oblivious" lol.

#siffrin #in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #probably applies a bit to post-canon fic too but in a different way #somehow this feels incoherent lol

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natsuki-bakery · 5 months ago

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⁎˚ ఎ Five care giver Headcanons ໒ ˚⁎

hii! can you do five hargreeves (the umbrella academy) caregiver headcannons?

•Despite his typically gruff and no-nonsense demeanor, Five has a soft spot for you

•He maintains a structured environment, ensuring routines are followed to provide a sense of stability and security

•Hargreeves loves to engage your mind with fun yet educational activities. He'd turn simple games into opportunities to teach something new, whether it's a new language, a science fact, or a puzzle-solving exercises

•He finds creative ways to make learning enjoyable, often using his time-traveling experiences as storytelling material

•Five is incredibly protective of you. Given his past and the dangers he's faced, he ensures the environment is safe and free of anything that might cause distress to you

•If anyone threatens your sense of security, Five is quick to step in, using his sharp intellect and combat skills to keep you safe

•He understands the importance of comfort foods and would go out of his way to prepare your favorite snack

•Whether it's baking cookies together or preparing a special treat, he ensures it's a time filled with joy and connection.

•With his ability to teleport and his knowledge of various timelines and places, Five makes playtime an adventurous experience. He might take you on mini 'time-travel' adventures within the house, using his storytelling to make each corner a different era or world

•These imaginative play sessions are designed to be both entertaining and enriching !

•Five Hargreeves might uses few pet names like : kiddo, little one, buddy or tiny

If you're sick when age regressing :

•Five would immediately spring into action, meticulously researching symptoms and remedies. He’d ensure you have everything you need, from medicine to a cozy blanket

•His past experiences have taught him to be thorough and precise, so he'd double-check dosages and instructions to ensure your safety

•Though Five isn’t typically one for overt displays of emotion, he’d make an extra effort to provide comfort. He’d sit by your side, reading stories or talking about his adventures to distract you from feeling unwell

•He might prepare homemade remedies, like a soothing tea or a simple soup, using recipes he’s picked up from various times and places. He’d focus on natural, gentle ingredients that are easy on a sensitive stomach and help boost your recovery

•Understanding the importance of rest, Five would create a peaceful, quiet environment

•He’d dim the lights, ensure your room is at a comfortable temperature, and might even use his abilities to make sure you aren’t disturbed by any loud noises

•Five would keep a close eye on your condition, regularly checking your temperature and other vital signs

•If things don't improve, he wouldn’t hesitate to seek professional help, ensuring you gets the best care possible

•He’d keep meticulous notes on your health progress to track any changes and adapt his care as needed

•Dada Five always makes sure to keep a steady supply of your favorite snacks on hand, knowing how much joy a simple treat can bring you <3

•He reads bedtime stories with an unexpected tenderness, often choosing tales from his own past adventures, modifying them to be more child-friendly

•Whenever you feel scared or anxious, Five gently reassures you with a soft, "I've got you, little one" making sure you feel safe and protected.

•During playtime, Five uses his teleportation abilities to turn ordinary hide-and-seek games into epic adventures, always ensuring you have the time of your life

•If the regressor has a nightmare, He'd be immediately by your side, soothing you with calming words and a warm embrace until you fall back asleep

•Despite his usually serious demeanor, Five often surprises you with spontaneous, silly moments, like goofy dances or funny voices, just to hear your laughter !

•Five takes it upon himself to learn about child development and age regression, reading books and consulting experts to ensure he's providing the best care possible for his little one

DNI: basic criteria, DSMP, vivziepop/h4zbin h0tel/h3lluva b0ss fans, Owl h0use fans, St4r butterfly fans, Ghibli fans, ddlg/abdl, nsfw/k!nk, anti-agere, anti Christians blogs

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astridellejo · 8 months ago

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My Avatar Airbender OC (maybe more of a -sona)

Years ago (probably ten) I made a Korra era avatar-sona who was an airbender from the Southern Water Tribe. My old art of this character is… Well, I'll just say I chose to update my art instead of posting the old art.

Why an airbender from the Southern Water Tribe? Well, because my sun sign is Libra (an air sign), and both my moon and rising are Pisces (a water sign). So, yeah.

OC lore below the cut:

Anouk is a nonbender from the Southern Water Tribe. She grew up in the village of Tigerseal Cove. Though a nonbender, Anouk would regularly wander off alone to practice waterbending forms as a way to exercise and relax.

After the Water Tribe civil war and the reopening of the Spirit Portals, Anouk noticed an odd thing during exercise one afternoon. A strong breeze whisked by every time she performed a variation she had developed on one particular waterbending form she enjoyed.

WOOSH!

"That's weird! Does it happen every time?"

WOOSH! … WOOSH!

"Okay, what is going on here?"

Anouk wouldn't find any answers in her tiny hometown. So she set out for the capital to ask the most respected waterbending Master of the South. One who just so happened to have been married to an airbender. Master Katara. Surely she would know what was going on.

Master Katara was gobsmacked. A new airbender?! It couldn't be! She urged Anouk to travel to Republic City to see her son, Tenzin, and ask him for help. And that's how this nonbender nobody from podunk icebergland wound up training under Master Tenzin to become a member of the new Air Nomads.

#original character #atla oc #atla #tlok #avatar the last airbender #the legend of korra #atla fanart #tlok fanart #my art #oc lore #airbender girlfriends #airbender anouk

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drunkenlionwrites · 1 year ago

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A silly request, but how about. Vash with a reader who’s stronger than she looks? Maybe not like Armstrong from FMA strong, but definitely surprising to him and the others?

both of these requests gave me similar vibes, so i decided to merge them into one post. i am also very sorry for finishing it so late. these two have been sitting in my inbox since 16th of april. but i also guarantee that i will finish every request, even if it takes some time to do so. i'm very scatterbrained and have adhd so sometimes i just kinda get distracted and want to write about different things. Vash x muscular physically strong reader Warnings: none, g/n reader

You’ve been always wearing comfortable clothing, with oversize jackets above it, so pretty much nobody from your group has seen that much of your body. You’ve been not the shortest, but also didn’t look exceptionally muscular or tall.

Moreover, you’ve always been a positive and gentle person, pretty much matching Vash’s personality, you didn’t wield any kind of weapons, so everyone has just assumed that you’re just a regular harmless goody-goody.

Little did they know that it wasn’t that way. Once, during a brawl you masterfully knocked out a few bandits, showing off your physique and close combat skills.

Dare I say it was not what everyone expected of you at all. Vash has been so amused and excited to get to know this.

He was showering you with countless questions: where you did you learn how to fight, how did you manage to regularly train when travelling with them, since nobody has ever seen you exercising, what’s your workout routine is, etc etc.

He would also feel relieved that you’re a person capable of fending for themselves, usually you are ending up helping each other and fighting off hand in hand. He’s used to his friends being tough enough to do so, so to have you cover his back is something he would greatly appreciate. Though in no means he’s less protective or worried about you. Just feeling more comfortable knowing you’re not completely defenseless.

He would also brag about you a lot and praise you a lot. Something like “have you seen how much of a badass is my Mayfly?”, “I’m such a happy man to have this kindest and strongest soul to be my lover.”

Expect him also asking you to spar with him from time to time when he has free time or if you witness him exercising. He may teach you a few moves and is also happy to learn something from you.

All in all, I am a strong believer that Vash gets the hots if his partner is physically strong and can fight, it makes him feel closer to them, due to Vash actually being much more strong than an average human. You're his trusted partner in crime.

#vash x reader #vash x you #vash headcanons #trigun x reader #trigun x you #trigun headcanons #vash the stampede #lion writes

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cootcutebatkat · 9 months ago

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More Ford Headcanons

Yeah I'm making a part two right now. Why not? These will be more adult-oriented.

Ford is not at all fond of high-pitched noises. Some he tolerates, especially if he has control over them. But most of the time, he'll react by covering his ears and grimacing.

There isn't a recreational drug out there that he has tried at least once. But his most favorites are alcohol, cannabis, hallucinogenics, and amphetamines. Oh wait, caffeine is considered a drug now? In the mainstream sense and not the medicine sense? Okay, well, that's also his favorite too.

He's only done caffeine the most since he came back into Gravity Falls through the portal. But ofc, with the help of Stan and Fiddleford, he's able to drink and ingest weed as much as he'd like! And yet. There is a limit on caffeine? The nerve!

He's only allowed the limits ever since Dipper and Mabel kindly asked him to follow the rules on his intake levels. Mabel used her darling eyes on him. Dipper used his darling eyes AND plenty of research to back up his claim. Curse his love for his grand-niblings.

Ford is, in a sense, trans-human. He's had many more modifications done to him beyond just the metal plate in his head. He heals faster, runs faster, jumps higher, and has more keen senses! Of course, a vigorous exercise routine helps too.

While Ford identifies as part of the asexual and aromantic spectrum, he's not immune to such feelings either, especially the asexual part. But he's unsure if it's the person's characteristics that are sexually appealing or if the sex alone is and they just happened to be good-looking. But romance is another story.

He has felt romantic feelings towards Bill and Jheselbraum. Fiddleford too, in retrospect. But if you ask him, a queer-platonic relationship sounds much more appealing and emotionally deeper. He has yet to deduce why.

He is polyamourous too! Somewhat. Well, it takes a lot of trust and he'd prefer to deeply know the other persons involved as well. But he isn't opposed to his partner sleeping with another being, so long as Ford is aware of their location, the exits, their current defenses, the stranger's weaknesses, their immunities and defenses and and and. Okay, he's not opposed to it due to jealousy and lack of trust. He's opposed to it because he cannot risk anything bad happen to his beloveds.

That being said... STD transmission is a thing. He might also be opposed to it due to health and hygiene purposes. Unless. He could craft a rapid-testing kit that his beloveds could take with them wherever they go if they feel the urge to sleep with another being.

If his partner(s) have a habit of sleeping with other folks though... it could cause some insecurities. Communication is an absolute must at this point. But depending on the relationship and other variables, you might not hear about said insecurities. So much for communication... (Stan is probably yelling at him for it)

Sometimes, he'll avoid communication to avoid arguments. Expect a lot of serious talks during the earlier parts of your relationship, especially if Ford feels it becoming more intimate and serious. He wants to avoid conflict as much as possible.

He loves absurd memes. The internet, while it did take a while to learn due to its rapid growth, is oddly fun and a host of many research articles! Thanks to Fiddleford, he's learned to bypass many security walls and such, so he's able to access all sorts of articles without having to subscribe or pay for them!

But also. Memes. He loves them. What, you don't think an old man from the 60s and 70s who has done many different drugs and has studied anomalies and has been to a shitty college and has traveled the multiverse would be weirded out by internet humor? My dear, he thrives in it! Hell, he's learned quickly how to make them and posts them regularly. He's pretty amused by how his followers believe that some of them are just absurd jokes and not events he's actually experienced. One day, he'll reveal the truth. But he has to figure out how.

Speaking of, he and Fiddleford has been working with the people of Gravity Falls on how to prevent another apocalypse and, with the consent of the anomalies, how to research the unique flora and fauna and strange happenings in this part of Oregon.

He, Stan, and Fiddleford now all live together in Fidds new estate! The extra rooms have been turned either into guest rooms, entertainment rooms, or academic archives. AND THERE IS STILL MORE ROOM?? Fiddleford, you've truly succeeded! Ford is not only extremely happy with his friend's fortune, but he's also grateful that he gets to share it with him.

Of course, Ford loves his alone time. All the more reason why he appreciates living in a mansion with his beloveds instead of a cramped cabin (seriously, that thing is massive! And yet, it's still too small for such a large and outgoing family). It is a bit too big, though. Hell, it's not a mansion. It's a palace! He's discussed with Fidds about it, leading to a map in every room and hall (with a little "You are here" dot in each one) and a PA system next to it. With some extra work, magic, and rummaging through the alien ship, there is now quick travel throughout the estate as well! Just... hold on to the railing while you're at it. And your stomach.

#gravity falls #mine #post #ford pines #headcanons #tw drugs #tw alcohol #tw cannabis

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championofravens · 10 months ago

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Cat owners are second class citizens in this dog forsaken world. Wdym there's eight dozen dog parks near me but nothing even remotely equivalent to allow my cat exercise, indoor or outdoor? Wdym I could harness and leash train my cat for walks and I would still get screamed at for making someone's untrained dog go berserk? Wdym I have to travel four cities over and pay an extra 50 bucks to have my cat groomed because it's just assumed she's a nightmare despite us bath training her as a kitten? Wdym dogs in pet hotels get outside time and play time but my cat is going to be in a crate with a litter box attached 24/7? Wdym people can just bring their dogs wherever they go and when I try to go anywhere with Beans I'm told it's too much of an allergy concern? When I asked for someone to pet sit Beans, everyone's first response was "uhhh it's a cat lol.... just leave it a pile of food, it won't even know you're gone". When Beans escaped outside during a family event thanks to someone else's negligence, we were treated like assholes for being emotional and shaken up because "it's a cat". When we buy her high quality food, proper dishes to eat and drink from, take her to the vet and groomer regularly, we get scoffed at. Crazy cat people. It's a cat. Why do you care.

#text #my sil just got a new puppy #and its night and fucking day #also dont be a dick at me for this #for any reason #but also because i owned dogs my ENTIRE life #beans is me and jacks first cat ever

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firesnap · 7 months ago

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Using this blog as a. well. blog. tw weight loss tw diet talk tw pain management or whatever you need there.

Last year when I went to see Lvjy in Scotland and England with Mia, I hurt my leg. Badly. I had strained it before I left and during the trip just completely fucked it up. My doctor warned me I had done pretty severe damage to it. Tore a muscle, the muscle now irritates my sciatic nerve and can cause intense pain. I went to physical therapy and it slowly got better but I still had trouble standing for long periods of time in October .

After everything happened in February, I decided I needed to get my shit together. I started exercising regularly. Drinking less. Changed my diet. I started working on losing weight. And I had really quick results. I've lost 18 pounds right now.

But almost 2 weeks ago I hurt my bad leg. I don't know if it was on the rowing machine or when I took the nephews to a trampoline park, but over the course of a weekend, my hamstring got incredibly stiff and I started getting this electric shooting pain down my leg that made it hurt to stand and walk. The act of getting out of bed or sitting (and standing) would hurt so much that I wanted to just stay in bed the whole day.

I immediately got a doctor appointment. My normal doctor was out of town so she sent me to someone in her practice. I needed pain relief and a rec for physical therapy. I went in knowing that and just had a humiliating experience where the doctor implied she didn't believe my medical history and acted like I was wanting pain killers (when I hadn't requested ANY pain relief other than last year when I was traveling and then I ended up fucking up my leg so bad that it didn't help). But I got a prescription for tramadol for a week (and I've been skipping doses to stretch that out), an order to take 800mg of ibuprofen on top of that, and a referral for physical therapy.

But I'm still in just. Intense. pain. At first, I couldn't get the physical therapist to understand that I can't do a lot of these exercises and stretches without crying. Yesterday she seemed to get that and we tried cupping(???) and some heat massage to try and get my hamstring to relax but fuck man. I'm in so much pain today that I laid in bed and cried just from trying to get up

I just don't understand how to convince doctors that I can't heal when I can't even walk down the stairs or through the grocery store

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sir-griswold-of-macelwain · 5 months ago

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OK getting mad at it again so here is how Matthew could have not died:

The Overseas Posting: Like Bertie in the first movie, the king asks Matthew (as an earl's heir, the bridge between tradition and modernity in Downton, a former soldier, etc) to accompany a member of the royal family on a tour of the colonies. Makes less sense than with Bertie because Matthew isn't a senior peer, but it could still work. Mid-season 4, we learn a whole scandal about an embezzling governor and the prince Matthew went with named him as temporary governor, he has to stay there. Season 5 has a storyline of Mary agonizing over whether or not she should join him with George, while the more pragmatic members of the family (Violet first) argue that they can't endanger the miraculous baby who is the only heir if Matthew dies abroad. Later on, Bertie realizes he knows of matthew because his cousin Peter talked about him in a letter.

The Henry's Motor Show treatement: As early as season 2's final, Matthew says he doesn't want to go back to being an attorney, Violet screams Huzzah, Matthew explains he wants to go back in the army because he can't stand the idea of letting other fight in his stead. Over season 3, we see him regularly coming back from training or such. Having been a captain during WW1, even with the army shrinking, I assume he could be in charge of a sizable part of the army. Heck, have him be one of the guys who first tested fighter planes! it's a late-WW1 invention, i didn't look it up but i assume they didn't just chuck it aside after the war and not get back to the idea until 1939. Have him mention that he'll have to be away, but for now he just wants to seize the moment with his family. Over season 4, Mary receives letters, Tom and Mary go to visit him regularly, Tom now has a passion for planes as well. In season 5, Mary becomes pregnant after visiting Matthew in his airfield base. Whole storyline about how she resents that he can't be here to help her. Season 6, if we really want to kill him, have him die in a plane crash during a routine exercise. There's no need to see who is piloting it. We can have Mary show George the plane and say "Daddy's in this one" as he waves a little flag, or something. Flames. A mannequin brought out with a sheet over his body and face. The lucky charm found later in his locker or something and given back to Mary.

The Natalie Portman's Endgame: Matthew films a few scenes before going and they use these scenes (whichever storyline you use, overseas posting, plane testing, whatever) over the three next seasons to take off the feeling we never see Matthew.

the Dracula AU/Michael Gregson treatment: Matthew, as a sollicitor, is asked to travel to some european country. After a while, letters stop. Mary gets super worried. Violet uses her connections all over the foreign affairs (opening the storyline for Shrimpie's daughter, Rose, to come?) to find out if they know anything. Unlike Gregson tho, Matthew would still be alive. He either doesn't come back because he convalesces in Europe, or Mary even leaves to join him, OR he comes back "extremely changed" and they just have a new actor with roughly the same hair colour and face shape. OK this one I'm less sure about. It would have been funny tho.

#downton abbey

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loominggaia · 1 year ago

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ZOV THE ELF-EATER

This guy doesn't appear in the series until much later, but here's his bio to get you hyped in the meantime!

(lore under cut)

HISTORY

Es Riq Zov was born to a Morite family during their long and arduous trek from the Serkel Desert to Folkvar Kingdom. His family sought freedom and fortune in these new lands, but to get there, they had to cross treacherous Evangelite territory.

The family was not so fortunate, for they were caught by Evangelite slavers just before reaching the border to Folkvar. Baby Es was separated from his mother that day and never saw her again.

He was instead raised by staff in a slaveyard nursery until the age of 7 years, when he was purchased by a young Evangelite entrepreneur. This entrepreneur's family had been running dealings in the slave-fighting industry for centuries, and Es was destined to be their newest champion.

This ghoulish businessman started training Es to fight right away. He fed the young goblin a diet of high-protein foods, questionable supplements, and yappo leaves, all while forcing him to exercise to exhaustion each day. Es was never taught how to read, write, cast spells, or solve equations. His training taught him only how to bring down his opponent in the quickest, dirtiest ways possible.

At the age of 9, Es's master entered him in the children's league of an Evangelite slave fighting ring. Es proved to be a vicious powerhouse, maiming and even killing some of his pint-sized opponents with no hesitation or remorse.

This trend would only continue as Es grew older. He competed in hundreds of fighting matches from childhood to adulthood, mostly competing against elven, faunish, and other goblin opponents. In one notorious match, he gouged an elven opponent's eyes with his thumbs to subdue them before biting out their entrails. Es draped these entrails on his shoulders, leaving the opponent to bleed out as he basked in his glorious victory.

This brutal attack became his signature move, dubbed the "gouge 'n gorge", which he would perform again and again to delight bloodthirsty audiences. He gained a frightening title along with it: Zov the Elf-Eater.

Zov became his master's greatest champion, so his master began investing large sums to money to make him an even better fighter. Zov's teeth were filed to sharp points, his long ears docked, metal plates were surgically implanted into his knees, skull, and knuckles, and he endured several eye surgeries to improve his species' naturally poor vision.

All of these procedures were illegal in Evangelite territory, so Zov travelled to Zareen Empire many times throughout his career. During these visits, Zov's master discovered something else that was illegal in his homeland: a more refined form of yappo leaves called 'wack'. This powerful drug was consumed by soldiers and athletes abroad, and he decided his best fighter should be taking advantage of it too.

Before long, he was regularly doping Zov with this powerful drug, and at that point the goblin had become an unstoppable powerhouse in the slave-fighting world. His name spread far and wide, and by the time he was just 25 years old, he was already a living legend.

PERSONAL LIFE

Zov is currently still active in the global slave-fighting circuit, performing mostly in Evangelite, Morite, and Zareenite lands. He is such a fearsome opponent that he has even been matched against more powerful species, such as satyrs, and still came out victorious.

After each match, Zov is rewarded with a sacrificial female slave, whom he sexually violates and then kills in the ring as an encore to his bloody performance. Other rewards are granted by his master, which include fine clothes, rich food, entertainment, and more comfortable accommodations.

Compared to most slaves in his position, Zov lives like a king. But compared to any free person, he is still trapped in a bleak existence, filled with violence and cruelty.

When he's not in the ring, Zov spends most of his time with his master's traveling caravan. He has his own private wagon, which is his bedroom and also his cell. He is constantly surrounded by his master's servants and security staff, but has never had a friend, for even those closest to him regard him with fear and distrust.

Zov is described by others as "a man of few words". He is said to have a volatile temper, and speaks more with his actions than his mouth. He suffers from frequent bouts of debilitating depression and psychosis, which his master "solves" by doping him with potent drugs like pink sugar to sedate him.

Zov's master exploits him in more ways than just forcing him to fight. He also charges other slave owners hefty sums of gold to breed their slaves with him, claiming that Zov's offspring will grow up to be extraordinary just like him. Though Zov has many children in the world, he has never had the opportunity to meet a single one of them.

Despite all the abuse his master inflicts upon him, Zov considers him a loving father-figure and trusts him more than anyone else. It seems his master is the only one he respects, for Zov has been known to attack the caravan's staff and even security when they get on his bad side. Yet he has never once laid a finger upon his master--the one who has hurt him the most throughout his life, and the sole person responsible for the hellish life he lives.

Zov is still illiterate in adulthood. However, his master once rewarded him with a picture book featuring famous places around Looming Gaia, and Zov has been smitten by art and culture ever since. He visits historical sites, libraries, and museums every chance he is permitted. His master noticed his seemingly spiritual reaction to music and now uses it as an incentive, promising to take him to live performances if he trains and fights well.

Little does Zov's master realize, these little tastes of the outside world have planted a seed of rebellion within his champion. Recently, Zov has been troubled by a feeling he's never experienced before: a desire for freedom.

Secretly, he wishes to escape his violent career and travel the world, where he can experience the finer things in life like the free people do. His dream is to explore all of the famous sites in his beloved picture book before he dies. At the same time, Zov fears freedom, for he does not know how to survive without his master's guidance--not to mention the drugs he provides to sate his burdensome addictions.

Will Zov ever find the courage and the means to make his dreams a reality? Or will he simply meet a gruesome, unceremonious fate in the ring?

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

#tw blood and gore #looming gaia #concept #artwork

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angstyaches · 1 year ago

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Payton Gets Spiked

Loosely inspired by reading this post.

If you want more of an introduction to Dani, read this first.

CW: gender stuff, dysphoria, misgendering, brief mention of gendered bathroom dilemma, intense social anxiety, people with varying shitty opinions, spiking with alcohol, references to past binge drinking/alcohol dependency, low self esteem, emeto, crying, panicking, insecure/awkward caretaker.

Word Count: almost 8,000 - oops. If you finish this to the end, you're a real one.

___

“Alright, Dani! I’m just heading out back... to...”

It was fifteen minutes after the coffee shop had closed, night had settled in on the streets outside, and Payton had just finished closing the till. It should have been the most glorious moment of their day, the moment just before their time became their own again and they could bask in the knowledge that they’d done a great day’s work, but that reward was stolen by the swooping sensation in their stomach. Their day wasn’t over just yet.

They’d been in the middle of calling out to Dani, who had been assigned the closing shift alongside them, to tell her that they were heading out back to get changed.

But they stopped themself.

Dani was engrossed with sweeping the floors to the beat of whatever she was listening to on her headphones. Payton decided to leave her to it. She didn’t like being interrupted in the middle of a task, as Payton had quickly learned during her first few weeks here.

And besides, it wasn’t as though Payton was in a hurry to get to the pub, where, if the group chat was anything to go by, the others had already convened. The longer Payton could delay being wedged into a dimly-lit nook surrounded by the smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke from the 80s, the better.

Guilt gnawed at them now, along with the nerves. They shouldn’t be dreading Jake’s birthday; they liked Jake. He deserved to have people coming to his birthday drinks who were excited to be there.

Payton went out back and stood in front of their locker.

They closed their eyes, allowing their mind to wind down after their shift. They stretched their arms out to the side and breathed in, slowly and deeply letting their lungs press out against their ribs. They didn’t feel particularly compressed, but they’d gotten into the habit of doing breathing exercises regularly while binding – in no small part to keep Autumn from worrying about them.

They undid their apron and pulled their polo shirt off over their head. They opened up their locker to grab the cropped purple hoodie they’d brought to change into for the evening. Payton didn’t usually partake in the loungewear look unless they were grocery shopping or travelling or chilling out at home, but Jake had requested that nobody ‘dress up nice’ tonight.

Before picking up the hoodie, Payton glanced down at themself, their sides bare above their waistband. Now that they thought about it, they wished they had worn dungarees instead of cargo pants today. Not for any reason they could put their finger on, which was frustrating. They just had the vague, hollow feeling in the pit of their stomach that they would have felt fifty times better about themself if they’d been wearing dungarees.

They sucked in another deep breath, this time to try to soothe the flare of anxiety.

Their phone screen lit up with a message, and they snatched it up from the shelf in their locker.

A: Finished work yet? X

Payton grinned. The simplest check-ins from Autumn always made their heart flutter.

P: Finished!!! x

A: You've got someone to walk over to the bar with you, right? X

P: Yep, Dani and I are sticking together, don’t worry! <3 x

A: Awesome! Have fun tonight, baby x

Payton kind of wished they’d insisted that Autumn come along tonight, but as far as they knew, nobody else was bringing their partner, so they would have felt a little awkward making themself the exception. Besides, it was good for Payton to get out there and be independent every so often.

And it made Autumn worry less.

P: I will x

A: Message me when you get home x

They glanced over their shoulder as Dani came into the changing room.

She didn’t have her headphones on anymore, but she was humming to herself as she walked. Not in a gleeful kind of way; she hummed intensely, as though her sanity depended on whether or not she hit each individual note. She went straight over to her locker, disappearing from Payton’s line of sight, but Payton didn’t hear her open it.

They put their phone in their pocket and reached into their locker for their hoodie.

“Does that hurt?”

Payton looked over their shoulder again – Dani was looking at them – and then down at their torso. They were still standing there in just their black cargo pants and their binder. It hadn’t really occurred to them that they were topless, but they supposed they were.

“Sorry,” Dani said bluntly, mistaking their embarrassment for offence. “Was that rude?”

“It’s fine,” Payton smiled. “And no, as long as I don’t wear it for too long, it doesn’t hurt.”

Dani blinked. For a second, Payton considered that she might have been working up to asking a follow-up question.

“Okay,” she said instead, turning to open her locker.

The two of them finished getting ready without talking any more. Dani didn’t actually change her clothes; she just swapped her apron for a baggy grey zip-up hoodie that she didn’t zip up. She had already been wearing dark blue jeans and a graphic tee, even though the dress code for staff members was black trousers and block-coloured tops. Dani would never have paraded that outfit in front of Annie or Jake; she must have kept in mind, while getting dressed that morning, that Payton was supervising today.

They weren’t sure how this realisation made them feel. Was it a sign of disrespect that she only challenged the rules on their watch? Or was a good thing that she felt comfortable being herself with them?

Anxiety spiked in Payton’s stomach again. The last thing they wanted was for the newer staff members to dread the sight of them, or watch how they acted around them, but it was also in their nature to be a pushover, and they hated to think they were falling into old habits.

They smiled as they gestured for Dani to step out of the shop before them. Not because they were being a pushover, but so that they could set the alarm, lock up, and then check twice to make sure that the door was actually locked.

It soothed them a little as they stood outside and peered through the glass into the dark shop, sure in the knowledge that nothing was left out of place. Annie was on the opening shift tomorrow, and Payton would rather not get any passive aggressive text messages about crumbs on the floor or lights left on before 9am.

They turned away from the shop. Dani was rocking back and forth with the balls of her feet on the edge of the path as she waited for them.

Payton’s stomach dropped all over again as they observed her in the streetlight. Had the two of them ever even interacted outside of the shop before?

Despite their promise to Autumn, Payton realised they had kind of hoped that Dani would start walking by herself while they locked up, getting enough of a head start so that they wouldn’t have to make conversation. They liked Dani as a person but they didn’t have a friendly banter like Payton did with Paul, and Dani didn’t talk the ear off anyone who would listen like Rachel did.

“You’re opening with Annie tomorrow, right?” Payton asked as they both started walking. They immediately cringed. Defaulting to talking about work had to have been the laziest, most cowardly option.

“Yeah,” Dani said. Her tone might have indicated that she’d rather have all of her wisdom teeth pulled at once. It also might have indicated that opening the shop with Annie was her favourite activity of all time. Payton had no idea which was closer to the truth.

“I... like your t-shirt, by the way.” It’d taken them several glances throughout the day, since the print was faded in parts, but they’d deduced that it was from some horror movie or another.

“It’s vintage.”

“Oh, really?” Payton thought that maybe they’d be treated to the story of how it’d come to be in her possession.

Dani tugged at the headphones that were still sitting around her neck. “I’m putting my headphones back on. For the traffic noise.”

“Oh, okay,” Payton smiled. Since they’d come outside, only about six cars had passed them by, but they weren’t about to point that out. If Dani didn’t want to talk, that was fine. They were still walking together. That was one promise to Autumn locked in.

Now for the second one, which filled them with a little more dread; to have a fun night.

___

The group was still lingering by the bar when Payton and Dani arrived.

The store owner and manager, Annie, stood with one arm across her chest and what looked like a gin and tonic in her hand. She was chatting – probably about one of her husband’s recent business ventures – to Jake, whose cheeks were bright red and whose pint of cider had almost run out.

Rachel was perched on a bar stool, swinging herself gently from side to side as she nursed a Coke-based drink. Paul seemed to be in the middle of telling her a story; judging by the bittersweet smile that played on his lips, and the way Rachel seemed to be completely tuning him out, Payton guessed Paul was talking about Mei, the girl who’d recently broken up with him.

I know way too much about these people, Payton thought with a wry smile to themself.

It was Paul who spotted them first, which brought his story to a halt.

“Hey, boss!” he cheered, shuffling towards Payton and scooping them into a quick but tight hug. They forced a smile despite their surprise, hugging him back. They’d last seen him at the coffee shop yesterday, but he was acting as though it’d been months.

“Welcome! And Dani!” Paul grinned at her as she stood to Payton’s left. “Oh – don’t worry, I’m not going to try to hug you. Learned my lesson on that one. Come on, come over here! What are you guys drinking?”

“I’ve got it, Paul, don’t worry,” Payton assured him. He was drunk enough that he’d probably buy a round for everyone and forget he’d done it, which Payton would rather save him from. They reckoned they should buy Jake’s next drink, seeing as it was his birthday. And Dani seemed tense – either from the walk outside, or from the Paul hug she'd been temporarily threatened by – so they decided to offer to get her first one, too.

“Dani?” Payton tilted their head when Dani didn’t look at them; she still had her headphones on. They waved their hand gently to get her attention.

She dragged her gaze around to look at them, and they gestured bringing a glass to their mouth. Drink?

“Bulmers,” she announced loudly.

Payton nodded and turned, waving to get Jake’s attention this time. He beamed when he saw them, and Payton pointed towards the near-empty glass in his hand.

“Bulmers!” he called over the din, winking his thanks behind his thick-rimmed glasses.

Payton smiled at the bartender and ordered the two pints of Bulmers, plus a Coke for themself. The others started making their way towards a booth. Dani stayed near the bar, not talking to or looking directly at Payton. She was making them think of an anxious stray cat who didn’t trust any of the humans present, but had decided that Payton was the least untrustworthy of them all.

Guilt churned their stomach at that silly assumption. She was clearly just waiting politely for her drink, so Payton wouldn’t be left with three glasses to carry.

She thanked them for her drink as it came out. Payton smiled at her and took their own glass, plus Jake’s pint, over to the table.

Annie and Jake had slid into the booth first, on opposite sides of the table, followed by Paul on Jake’s side and Rachel on Annie’s side. Payton would have preferred – just slightly – to sit beside Paul rather than Rachel, but Dani had already slid into the booth next to Paul by the time they’d decided this.

“Here you go, Jake,” Payton said, handing the Bulmers across the table. They were momentarily relieved to be free of the heavy, sickly smell of it, but as soon as they sat down, they were hit by the equally pungent scent of vodka wafting from Rachel’s glass. First, it made their head swim, and then their stomach lurched. Just the smell of it made them feel like their thought process was being scrambled.

They were seated for a few seconds before realising that all six of them were leaving wet rings on the tabletop.

“Oh! Coasters,” Payton said, relieved for the excuse to get away from the vodka smell for another few seconds. They stood up again.

Rachel squinted up at them, shaking her head. “Genuine question, Payton; do you ever switch out of work mode?”

Payton gave her a smile, wondering how many more they’d have to force before they became relaxed enough for a genuine one. “Yes. Sometimes.”

They started back towards the bar. The smile slid from their face and their stomach took a dive towards the floor as they heard Annie’s voice from behind them.

“Where’s Payton going, Rachel?” she asked.

Except...

She didn’t say Payton’s name, and she didn’t say ‘they’ either.

They pressed a hand to their chest and breathed in slowly through their nose. Misgendering didn’t always get to them like this, but hearing it from someone they spent so much time around felt like a punch to the gut after already enduring so, so many. They tried to force down the throbbing sensation, which was like a scream that was rising to their heart instead of their throat.

They were probably the first trans person Annie had ever met, and they’d always known they’d have to be patient with her. It was either that, or lose their mind, and in this economy, one couldn’t afford to lose their mind at work every other day.

But breaking their chronic people-pleasing habits was hard when this was a constant issue. Correcting people didn’t come naturally to Payton, and on the few occasions where they did correct someone, the weight of the guilt they felt afterwards was almost just as bad.

And guilt wasn’t a compatible companion for self-love.

___

“Oh... getting coasters or something,” Rachel had responded to Annie’s question.

Dani blinked, baffled by what she'd just heard. Had she missed something? Who the hell were they talking about? Payton had just left to get coasters; they had announced that, right before Rachel’s snide remark about how they always seemed to be working. Had Rachel misunderstood Annie’s question, then? Was there some conversation happening that Dani hadn’t –?

Oh.

White noise swelled in Dani’s ears for a couple of seconds. She squeezed one of the beads on her bracelet and focused on keeping her breathing steady.

Say it, she screamed in her head, tugging at her bracelet, They. Where did they go? They went to get coasters. Just freaking say it!

But judging by the murmurs of continued conversations, Dani the moment had passed for her to say anything to fix Annie’s mistake. She found herself equally frustrated with Rachel, who could also have corrected Annie, or at least used Payton’s pronouns in her response.

Through the fog of irritation, Dani became aware of Paul, who was sitting to Dani’s right, handing something to Rachel, who was sitting at the other side of the table. Rachel took whatever it was and whispered harshly in Paul’s direction.

Dani gripped her bracelet harder, resisting the urge to yank her headphones up. She fucking hated the sound of whispers, but she knew if she put her headphones on now, she’d have to deal with eye rolls at best, and verbal lecturing at worst.

A dull clink brought her back into the moment, and she looked up to see Rachel running her finger through a streak of clear liquid that had been spilled on the table in front of her. Rachel put that finger in her mouth – yikes, gross – and grinned as she handed something back to Paul.

A naggin of vodka, Dani realised. In blatant disregard for the no outside food or beverages request that was posted at several points around the pub, Paul had brought shop-bought alcohol into the establishment, and now Rachel was availing of it, too. This night was shaping up to be even more overwhelming than she’d expected.

And they hadn’t even gotten around to singing ‘Happy Birthday’ yet.

___

The bartender looked up from where they had not-so-subtly been checking their phone behind the counter. Payton flashed them a smile of apology and gestured towards the case of paper coasters. They counted out six and wandered back over to the table, sucking in a deep breath before they were once again submerged in the smell of vodka, cider, and the risk of being misgendered.

“Are we going to sing Happy Birthday?” Payton wasn’t sure when Dani had taken off her headphones, but before she’d even taken a sip of her drink, she seemed to have shed her inhibitions. She was speaking now, at least. “Because if we are, you should all know that I am going to have to stick my fingers in my ears.”

Rachel sighed, Paul took a pointed swig of his drink, and Jake half-chuckled as though he was unsure if Dani was joking or not. Payton had the feeling she was not.

Rachel begrudgingly slid a coaster under her drink as Payton passed them around, but not before using it to mop up a long smear of clear liquid from the table. Payton didn’t remember noticing it, but maybe there had been a dribble of water there when they’d sat down.

“And also ��” Oh – Dani wasn’t finished apparently. Payton tried to cast her their most sympathetic look, but her eyes were focused on the tabletop, not on any person in particular. “If there’s going to be a billion rounds of for he’s a jolly good fellow afterwards, can you all just please tell me now? I’m not, like, opposed to it or anything, but I would like to know in advance.”

“Oh, god. Can I ask that we… not do any of that?” A nervous grin spread across Jake’s face. “I hate Happy Birthday and all that stuff, honestly. Especially in public places.”

“Ah, come on, it’s a bit of fun,” Rachel muttered, clicking her tongue.

Payton caught Jake’s eye and smiled to reassure him. “How about a toast instead, then, Jake? Just a short one.”

Jake met their gaze and matched their smile. “That, I can endure, P.”

“Oh! Me. Me, I’ll do it. Can I do it, boss?” Paul exclaimed, as though it was Payton’s job to delegate the task. He hoisted his beer into the air, glanced around at the others, and cleared his throat dramatically. “Aheh-hem!”

“Remember, Paul. Short and sweet now, for the love of god,” Jake grinned.

“Happy birthday... to the best senior assistant manager, and, of course, the owner of the best beard in town – Jake. You might be ginger...”

Jake feigned a scoff and put a hand to his hair and beard.

“But we bloody love you, you legend!” Paul waved his glass. “Cheers!”

“Cheers!” everyone agreed.

“Slainte,” Annie tossed in.

After taking a drink from their glass, Payton gasped forcefully, and took another. They were far thirstier than they’d realised, and ending up gulping down half their Coke before making themself stop. They'd had a glass of water at lunchtime today, but barely anything to drink since then. No wonder there was a funny taste in their mouth. Possible dehydration might explain why they felt especially on edge this evening, too.

They grimaced, holding a hand against their sternum and suppressing a burp. That was a lot of carbonation to force down all at once, but they weren’t about to relieve the pressure in front of all of their coworkers.

“Here.” Annie was flapping her fingers in the direction of Jake’s phone, which sat next to his elbow. “Give me your phone, Jake. I’ll get a picture of you, Paul, and the girls.”

Nausea and Coke residue fizzled in the back of Payton’s throat. They parted their lips, hands trembling on either side of their glass as they prepared to correct Annie, but the fear that curdled their stomach also put a clamp on their tongue. What did they even want to her to say? Paul and Payton and the girls? Paul and the others? Just the others?

Anything that didn’t lump them into a group they didn’t belong to would have been nice.

They shivered at the familiar sensation of the moment passing, of another wound officially taking up residence in their body. Autumn would be so disappointed if she could see them right now.

“And Payton.”

Payton’s ears practically pricked up like those of a cartoon dog. They looked across the table to see that Dani was looking vaguely in Annie’s direction, her hands fidgeting with something underneath the table. Her lips were mashed together, her eyebrows tense, and she definitely the one who had just mumbled those words under their breath.

A little bit of the sick feeling in Payton’s stomach dissipated. Annie hadn’t heard, but... just knowing that someone else at the table had clocked the mistake made them feel infinitely less lonely at this table.

Annie stood up, wielding Jake’s phone, and Payton felt a resurgence of queasiness.

“Alright,” Annie declared, “lean in, everyone, lean in. Dani, lean in, please! Thank you. Alright, good…”

In the last few seconds, Payton pulled the clear plastic clip out of their hair, letting their bangs fall loose over one side of their face. They held up a hand in a peace sign to partially obscure their jawline on the other side. They almost retched as they followed Annie’s instructions and leaned in; there was a stronger smell wafting from Rachel’s drink than before, if that was even possible.

Payton could almost imagine they could taste it, it was so thick in the air. God, they really didn’t feel well...

“Say cheese!”

“Cheese!!”

Payton sighed softly in relief when Annie sat back down, satisfied with just the one picture. Payton didn’t hate a lot of things, but they really didn’t like spontaneous photos taken on other peoples’ phones. Jake wasn’t a big social media guy, so maybe that one would never see the light of day anyway.

They took another mouthful of their Coke, hoping to wash away some of the bad taste in their mouth, but it only seemed to make it... worse? They brought the rim of the glass to their nose and sniffed, and then recoiled so fast that they almost fell out of the booth. The glass skidded a few centimetres across the table but, miraculously, didn’t tip over.

Dani jumped in her seat and made the closest thing to eye contact that she’d made with Payton since they’d left work. “What? What? Is it a spider?”

The whole room felt like it was tipping on its side. Payton wasn't just imagining they could taste the alcohol because of the strong smell; they were actually tasting it in their mouth. There was alcohol in their drink, and they had gulped down more than half of it... As they sat there, struggling to wrap their head around how this could have happened, it was inside of them, sloshing in their stomach, swirling into their capillaries, messing with their brain –

Sweat beaded on the back of Payton’s neck.

This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening –

“Payton,” Dani said loudly. “What. Is. Wrong?”

“N-no...” they whimpered, not caring that no didn’t make sense on its own. The only thing they could feel was the feeling of no, and with it came the heady weight of memories that weren’t supposed to be a part of them anymore.

They felt all alone again, like they were being slowly sucked into a pit of darkness.

“Th-they messed up my – m-my drink.” Sharp gasps littered Payton’s speech, and they couldn’t get a good sense of how loudly they were talking. They... couldn’t even feel angry. Not yet. Maybe they never would; messing up drinks was an inevitability for any establishment. Payton had once served full-fat milk to a lady who’d requested skimmed, and by the time they had realised their mistake, she’d already left with her latte. They still had nightmares about her coming back, months later, to complain.

But this was different, right? This was…

Dani wrinkled up her nose and leaned towards Payton’s glass to sniff it.

“I think there – there’s vod... vodka in it... N-no,” Payton said again, the word bursting on their lips like a giant blister. This was how it always used to start. With a ‘no’. No, no, not this, this can’t be real, this isn’t real.

When had it gotten so hot in here?

Dani put her whole hand around Payton’s glass, eyeing the bar. “You want me to go yell at someone?”

“No, no, no, don’t,” Rachel hissed, leaning conspiratorially towards the centre of the table. It seemed that she only wanted Payton, Dani, and Paul to be able to hear her. Her urgency made Payton stiffen. “Will you relax, for Christ’s sake, Dani? Payton, I took a few mouthfuls of your drink and topped it up with Paul’s vodka. I didn’t know you were such a lightweight!”

Payton’s head swam as they looked at Rachel’s face, searching in her green eyes for any indication that she joking. Her face was bronzed and freckled from all the field hockey she played, and they seemed to shift about nauseatingly in front of Payton’s eyes. She... she had to have been joking, right? Nobody would admit to something like that. Besides, they’d been with their drink since they’d bought it; when would she have had the time to –?

Coasters.

Payton had put their drink on the table and then gone back to the bar for the coasters. She must have done it then. Their body stiffened as they remembered the clear liquid spill on the table.

“Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen you drunk, boss,” Paul half-laughed. The fact that Paul was seemingly in on this too, or was in support of it, at least, only piled onto Payton’s horror, but they’d have to process that later.

“Th-that’s because I...” Payton’s voice was trembling. “I-I’m... I’m sober.”

The grin started to slip from Paul’s face, but Rachel didn’t seem to grasp what Payton meant.

She shrugged. “But it’s not like you’re driving home. And you’re off tomorrow, aren’t you? So, what harm?”

“No, I mean I haven’t… I haven’t h-had any alcohol in…” Payton’s lucidity spiked briefly, long enough for them to experience the stab of grief that hit their gut. “About two and... a half years.”

“Oh, on purpose?” Paul asked weakly.

“Yeah.”

Paul half-chuckled, his energy levels dropping noticeably. Next to him, Dani looked like she was witnessing a train crash in slow motion but couldn’t bring herself to move. Payton couldn’t bear to look at Rachel.

“But it’s not, like… that serious or anything, is it?” Paul pressed.

“Is it Alcoholics Anonymous serious?” Dani questioned, as though that were the qualifying factor. “Like in the movies, with the chairs, and the free coffee, and the…?”

She trailed off, gleaning her answer from Payton’s expression.

“It was Rachel’s idea!” Paul complained. “She did it!”

“What’s going on?” Annie demanded suddenly, only tuning into the conversation now that Paul had started raising his voice.

Rachel half-stood up in the booth and pointed at Paul. “You agreed with me, dickhead!”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t know...”

“Neither did I!”

Their voices faded into an echoing clamour. Payton felt so detached from their body that they wondered if they were having an attack of some kind. They’d had barely a few mouthfuls of vodka and Coke. Why did it feel like their stomach was on fire, forcing its way up their throat? Why did their whole body feel like jelly? Back in the day, it had taken so... so much more.

Had they gone so long without alcohol that they’d developed an allergy? Were they dying? After all of their work, were their last thoughts going to be swamped in dread and despair and drunkenness?

They didn’t know if it was wooziness or generalised terror that made their knees buckle as they tried to get out of the booth, but either way, Payton crashed to the floor, just about keeping a shaky grip on the edge of the table above. They weren’t sure where they were trying to go. They couldn’t even remember deciding to get up.

A hollow, desperate sob racked their ribs. Their stomach was lurching like an injured, frantic rabbit in a trap.

No...

Lucidity came in flashes again. Were they really hyperventilating on the floor, in front of their co-workers and their employer? Were they really making a scene at Jake’s birthday party? Were... were those Dani’s stockinged feet, resting on the floor next to her chunky Doc Marten boots?

Payton shook their head. They had to get away from here. That seemed fairly rational, no matter which they looked at it.

They started clambering upright. The sight of Dani reaching out to give them a hand up made them snap out of their panicked daze just slightly. They straightened their back and mumbled something to reassure her they were fine, they were good, they didn’t need any help –

They heard Rachel ask them something, and they ignored her. They ignored her on purpose – it felt terrible, but they couldn’t bring themself to react any other way – and raced for the bathrooms with tears streaming down their face.

___

Dani was only vaguely ashamed of her first thought after watching Payton bolting towards the back of the pub.

If someone at a small party has a breakdown, is that it? Can the party officially be declared ruined? Is it fair game for me to just... slip out? There were enough hours left in the night that she could probably squeeze in a few hours of Overwatch before going to sleep.

She flinched. Voices were being raised at the table again, which only made her want to leave even faster. No one was yelling at her, but her cells reacted as though they were. Her nerves felt like they were being twisted, twisted, twisted, until –

“You agreed with me!” Rachel hissed at Paul, much to Annie’s apparent dismay. “You said it’d be good for her!”

... Snap.

“It’s ‘they’!” A wave of dizziness hit Dani right in the face. Rachel and Paul and Annie and Jake all stared at her, and Dani’s stomach wobbled. Oh, stars. How loudly had she spoken?

Rachel groaned. “What?”

“They.” Dani felt out of breath as she reached for a bead on her bracelet and squeezed it between her fingertips. “Payton’s pronouns are they/them.”

“Payton’s... not even here, Dani,” Paul said softly.

“It doesn’t matter! You can’t call them anything else.”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Annie interrupted, though she didn’t sound sorry in the least. It was the kind of ‘sorry’ that really meant I have the right to speak and I shall continue to do so, even if I don’t have any idea what I’m speaking about.

Dani hated people who said ‘sorry’ like that, even more than she hated whisperers.

“But ’can’t’?” Annie went on, cocking an eyebrow at Dani. “It’s not very tolerant to go around telling people what they can and can’t say, Danielle.”

Danielle?! White noise clogged Dani’s ears again.

“I swear,” Annie said, shaking her head. “It’s always a morality contest with your generation. It is just –”

“Dani,” Dani grunted. “My name is Dani!”

“Do not speak over me.”

“You spoke over me first!” Dani’s voice turned into a squawk towards the end. Shit, shit, shit. “And I was talking to Rachel before, not to you. Do you even know what she di–?”

“You’re going to have to lower your voice.” Rachel laughed without mirth as she glanced around the pub. It was as if she herself hadn’t just been practically shouting at Paul across the table. “People are starting to look at us now.”

Dani’s head burned. She slammed a hand on the table. “I don’t care.”

Paul put out a hand, as though he was going to put it on her shoulder to calm her down. She flinched, jerking away from him in her seat, and he seemed to think better of it.

“Dani,” Jake said, tilting his head to see her from the other side of Paul. Jake was one of the more reasonable people left at the table, and his round face and thick beard gave him a soothing, teddy bear-like appearance, but Dani still didn’t trust that he wasn’t just talking down to her. Like she was a child having a tantrum. “Let’s talk this out, okay? What did Rachel do?”

“She… she…” Dani stopped pinching her beads and pointed across the table – not at Rachel, but at Annie. What Rachel did was significant, yes, but several things were screeching at Dani from inside her head, and Rachel’s thing wasn’t screeching the loudest right now.

“She said our generation is having a morality contest,” Dani said. “You’re upset about it, Annie, so that must mean... mean that you think you’re losing, and if that’s what you think –” She was getting out of breath. Too many words, too few seconds. “Then – then you must see that I’m being more moral than you, so you know there’s something wrong with what you're saying.”

Annie didn’t say anything in response.

Victory flashed briefly and hotly through Dani’s veins.

So... why did she feel like she was seconds away from crying? She wasn’t a child; she wasn’t about to be reprimanded by a parent or a teacher for speaking her mind. She was an adult. She could make her own choices, and –

Oh, right. She’d just pointed at and then yelled at her boss. She’d probably just thrown away the only day job she’d ever found bearable, as well as the only co-worker she’d ever genuinely liked.

Ah, crabs. Payton. How had it taken her so long so get around to worrying about Payton?

“Oh,” Dani announced, sliding out of the booth. She realised too late that she had taken her boots off, but it didn’t seem dignified to sit down again to put them back on. She looked Rachel square in the eye – for about half a second. Then, she lowered her gaze towards Payton’s glass. “Rachel put alcohol in Payton’s drink without them knowing.”

“You sat there,” Rachel choked out softly, “and said nothing, Dani!” There were tears in her eyes now, her face pale with terror.

Throat tight, hands trembling, and shoeless, Dani got up and went looking for Payton.

___

Payton had thought they’d need to force a finger or two down their throat to start emptying their stomach of the unexpected poison, but it turned out that their tolerance was low enough – or their panic high enough – for their body to begin rejecting it all by itself.

The force of the first heave had their ribs pitching inwards, their belly muscles folding in on themselves. A strangled cry came rolling out of their throat along with a mouthful of frothy vomit, and it took everything in their power not to let the crying continue.

No...

They... they had cried so much back then. They had cursed and screamed and roared like they were trying to invoke some god to come and release them from the pain that they didn’t have the words to describe. No words except no. They had always told themself that they didn’t know why they cried and shouted so much when they were intoxicated, but deep down, they realised that had always been a lie.

It was because they didn’t think it mattered. Whether they were stone-cold sober and coherent, or black-out drunk with vomit and snot dripping down their face, nobody listened to them or took them seriously. At least when they were drunk, they could make noise and act like an ass and convince themself that it was okay, that it was only to be expected, that they were free of the consequences.

All of it a lie.

No.

The tingling in their limbs felt like phantom tentacles reaching up from a dark pit, pulling and sucking them under –

Payton’s belly curdled and they spewed harshly into the toilet. They let out a dry sob that nearly ripped their lungs loose. All those years, all that work, all those miles between their past haunts and their current life... and they were back here. A different pub in a different city, but still the same old them. Hours of therapy; long, honest conversations with Autumn about their past; all those times Autumn had taken their face in her hands, tears in her eyes, and told them she was proud of them.

All of it was washed away in less than fifteen minutes.

Because it was pointless, wasn’t it? The thing they had once drank to escape – the helpless knowledge that nobody was listening to them – was still very much real. It lived inside them, keeping them small, keeping them polite, keeping them trapped as the pathetic, useless teenager who was never good enough...

No...

Annie’s constant criticism of the little things Payton did differently at the shop; the way Dani bent the uniform rules, only during Payton’s shifts; Donnacha... Donnacha’s outright refusal to listen to Payton’s side of the story when it came to their relationship with Autumn –

“No,” Payton whimpered, gripping the sides of the toilet with both hands. The thought of Autumn finding out about this made their soul feel like it was withering. Something slipped up their throat – a belch, a sob, a hiccup?

Even though their stomach had been completely vacated, the lingering smell and taste of the vodka kept their insides twisting and writhing. They wanted to hug their aching belly, but they had no hands left to do it. They were shaking, wilting against the toilet bowl like a dying flower; they’d surely headbutt the porcelain if they let go.

Frantic heartbeats assaulted their eardrums. They could barely see, barely breathe, barely... barely believe this was happening.

No.

___

Dani was glaring at two stick figures – one with their legs spread, the other with their feet together under a knee-length dress – and having a crisis.

Why were gendered bathrooms even a thing? Cubicle stalls existed for privacy. Lesbians and gay men existed, who used the bathrooms of the biological sex they were attracted to. Besides that, people who were inclined to trespass would and could do so, regardless of whatever little plaque was stuck outside of it. She found it hard to believe that anybody woke up one morning, decided to go out to a public bathroom and be a perv, and then end up being discouraged when they found a little plaque on the door that did or didn’t depict a human in a skirt.

Why had it taken her so long to question this? And why was she questioning it now, of all times!?

Right. Because back at the cafe, there were gender-neutral toilets and gender-neutral changing rooms for the employees. If that hadn’t been the case, maybe Dani would have had some idea of which way Payton would choose to go if they were forced to.

She flashed back to the moment she’d walked into the changing room earlier, and seen Payton’s binder for the first time. Right, right... Did that mean they saw themself as more masculine than feminine?

She pushed open the door to the men’s bathroom, leaning as far into the room as she could while keeping her feet outside and clutching the side of the door. A middle-aged dude was finishing up at a urinal, and he jumped when he saw her.

“Wrong place, love,” he half-smiled.

“Oh, gee, thanks, love,” Dani said, employing her Hollywood starlet voice in order to stop herself from retorting with something unsavoury. And then she yelled out, making the man jump on his way to the sinks; “Payton?!”

After waiting for a few seconds, Dani huffed, noting that none of the cubicles were locked anyway, and no feet were visible under any of them.

She retracted her torso from the bathroom and ducked into the one next door.

“Payton?” she called out again.

Two women were by the sink, one of them washing their hands, the other touching up their lipstick with a bit of a sheepish expression.

“Maybe in there?” the one with wet hands said softly, nodding towards the only cubicle that had been locked. Sure enough, Dani noted the presence of feet near the bottom gap in the door. “Is she okay?”

“They.” The correction sprang out of Dani’s throat, already locked and loaded this time. “And... I dunno. Maybe. Payton? You okay?”

Dani’s heart felt like it’d just been dragged down into her stomach when the reply came.

“No! No, no, no.”

___

Payton’s lungs fluttered with the effort of breathing. A mixture of a smile and a grimace sliced their face as they heard Dani talking to the other bathroom occupants. The novelty of Dani gendering them correctly had worn off so quickly that Payton struggled to remember what that rush of serotonin and acceptance had even felt like.

Their teeth were chattering, their fingers still tingled with the knowledge that their internal chemistry had been altered, and their stomach lining was still painfully irritated –

They were powerless against the no blisters that burst on their lips, over and over again.

“Payton, open the door!” Dani screamed, and even though they were the one yelling no continuously, Payton thought screaming was a little over-the-top.

They weren’t dying. They knew that now. They just felt like they were dying.

“NO!” Payton sobbed lucidly amidst the rolling cries of despair. No, I won’t open the door. What on earth might they would unleash on her if they let her in? They had a reputation as the cool, easy-going supervisor; how could they ever face her at work if they were revealed as the fraud they were?

“I’m so sorry,” Dani’s voice said from the other side of the door. “I wasn’t in on it, but I also wasn’t – I wasn’t paying attention to what they were doing. And I should’ve been.”

Payton squeezed their eyes shut. As badly as they wanted to stay quiet, hoping she would go away, they couldn’t leave her hanging. That was what they did. They soothed people.

“It’s... okay,” they croaked, their voice reverberating in the porcelain bowl. They recoiled. Ew. Was that how they sounded right now?

“No?” Dani retorted. “It’s not. It’s awful.”

Payton coughed, feeling the last of their fighting energy drain out of them. She was right. This was awful. It would be very nice if this could, somehow, not be happening.

Panic flooded their lungs again like liquid, and this time they were struck through with fear, because they didn’t feel they had it in them to continue panicking, and they definitely didn’t want to wind up unconscious next to a toilet –

“Come on, get out of there,” Dani was begging. Her voice sounded strange. Maybe Payton was imagining things again, like they’d imagined her without her boots on earlier.

The door of the next cubicle down creaked. A toilet lid slapped down. There was a muffled thump...

Goosebumps pricked the back of Payton’s neck. They tilted their head back, all the way, so that they were facing towards the ceiling.

The sight of a head hovering above the cubicle divider was unexpected and unsettling enough to make Payton’s breath catch, and once it did, it was like a cycle had been broken. They blinked, once, twice, three times, and suddenly became hyper-aware of their surroundings.

“I... Hi?” they croaked pathetically.

“Hi, boss,” Dani muttered. Payton wondered if that was her version of being playful.

Payton scrambled to flush the toilet, their face burning at the thought of Dani getting an ariel view of their neon yellow vomit.

“Get... get d-down,” Payton stammered. “Y-you’re gonna fall–”

“Open the door and I’ll get down.”

They reached up for the latch and then sank back down, still catching their breath. The tears on their face were starting to solidify. They couldn’t bear to look Dani in the eye when she circled the cubicles to stand in front of theirs, so they kept their gaze low.

A dry laugh popped out of them, like it’d been lodged in their throat and then squeezed.

Dani’s socks were black and covered in tiny green alien heads. She was standing on the tiles in her socks.

“You... actually took your shoes off.”

“Yeah, so?” Dani growled.

“Nothing, I just – I thought I was hallucinating earlier.”

“I find it more comfortable.”

Payton nodded, sniffling as they felt their nose run. They felt as though they were already in the throes of a mini hangover – the hollow pangs of nausea in their stomach, the ringing in their head, the burning agony in their throat.

But worst of all was the shame. The storybook of images of themself – ariel view, as though they’d been up on that toilet alongside Dani, watching their own pathetic display from above – flipped its pages over in their mind.

“So, did – did you have, like, a board somewhere at home that said ‘something-hundred and something days since last drink’, or...?”

Payton almost choked at the image. Why had they never thought of that? They’d only ever kept track of their sobriety on the calendar in their head, but even that would have to be reset to zero now. “No.”

“Mmm. Sorry.” Dani shuffled her stockinged feet. “I never know what to say in... Well, any situation. Ever.”

“You’re fine,” Payton sighed. A part of them noted how exhausting it was, to still be the one to comfort everybody else when something bad had just happened to them. They tried to squash that part. Dani was here, trying to help them.

Besides, they felt most like themself when they were making others feel at ease. Maybe they didn’t need to be so ashamed of that.

“Do you... need something?” Dani asked the question stiffly and awkwardly; was this how she took down orders from customers at the coffee shop?

Payton wanted the exact same thing they’d wanted about an hour ago.

“I want to go home,” they whispered.

“Samesies.” Dani’s feet rearranged themselves again. “Do you need me to help you up?”

The reluctance in her voice made Payton want to say no. But they were dizzy and weak, and tired of saying no. The thought of just a little bit of help brought tears of relief to their eyes.

Payton looked up from the floor. Dani’s appearance hadn’t changed at all from the moment she’d turned up for her shift that afternoon, but Payton got the feeling that they were looking at a whole different version of her.

“I... I mean, would that be okay, Dani?”

“Yes. Of... course.” Dani had clenched her fists by her side, and was looking at Payton as though they were a cliff that she was supposed to step off the side of. “Just don’t grab onto my waist, shoulders, back, or sides.”

#Lucyverse Payton #Lucyverse Dani #Lucyverse #OC sickfic #sickfic #emeto sickfic #emeto #emeto fic #alcohol #alcohol mention #angst fic #spiking mention #misgendering mention #gender dysphoria mention #emetophilia #whump fic

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